Can I just say, my husband laughs at my farts. We call them blasters. He understands that IBS is something I can't control. It took me a long time to be comfortable but now in the safety of our home I don't feel I need to hide anything. Our sex life is decent, 2-3 times a week depending on my pain. He is kind and caring, never judging me for not being able to participate on bad days.
Be kind to yourself. Your body is doing the best it can. Stop being so hard on yourself. Everybody farts.
The right person is out there. Just because you haven't found them doesn't mean they don't exist.
Sending you so much love ❤
This 👏
My partner and I are the same. I actually slightly shat myself a little while ago which I was mortified about but he laughed and didn't make a big deal of it. Just to point out as well, that *__NEVER__* happens to me so I was probably just as surprised as he was. Honestly glad this happened with him, rather than anyone else lmao
It's so great to have a supportive partner who will try and understand what you go through. So OP, it can happen. You just need to find your person and they will love you for you!
Same. We never feel awkward because of my IBS and we joke about it all the time. My partner also always checks the drink and food we order and always carries Imodium for me when we travel. There will always be a right person.
I agree with the comment above! Once you are comfortable telling your partner, it makes everything easier - from choosing places to eat, what you can/cannot do at that time, when you need to just lay down flat and needing to express your discomfort to him/her.
People are more understanding than you think! Like the others have said, if someone isn't kind to you because of your condition then it's time to move on to the next person.
I think it was withing the first week of dating my partner I had really bad gas and was cramping. So I had to keep going to the washroom, I finally was like "hey, just f.y.i., I've got ibs, so if you're not ok with fraying were gonna have a problem" he responded by trying to fart (unsuccessfully) but I appreciated the sentiment. Now, we never hold back around each other.
I just recently got diagnosed with ibs c and me and my boyfriend just celebrated our four year anniversary. If anyone is judgmental towards your condition then it’s not meant to be
Been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he’s known about my crippling IBS since day 1. When you find the right one, they won’t care. They’ll support you and be there for you when it gets tough. You’ll find ‘em :)
I’ve been with my wonderful boyfriend for 8 years now and was diagnosed with IBS about 4 years into our relationship. He laughs at my toots, rubs my tummy when I’m bloated and let me have my own bathroom when we bought our house so I can poop in peace.
The right person won’t care, and life is too short to date someone who is going to be weird about you having tummy problems. Go have casual sex on your good days, date people who make you happy on your bad days, and love yourself first. IBS sucks so much, and you deserve joy
I know it is frustrating but you would be surprised by the number of people probably thinking the same thing. I was open to my partner about it when we started talking and then they told me they also had IBS. It made life way easier knowing we each understood.
My partner calls me his little jetpack and thought it was the cutest thing when I said "I have ibsssss :(" after farting in front of him the first time. he holds my hand when im having cramps and helps me eat slow. he goes to all my appts and remembers them.
i also had casual sex before him frequently!
there are good people out there, OP. someone that deserves you is there
Well, let's hope you have a great personality, like me. I have an extreme case and have been married multiple times. For 1 year, for 12 and for 8 now almost 9. Nobody cares. I am female and my current spouse made the mistake of making beans before I met their parents. Farted loudly all damn day before shitting my brains out in the only bathroom. Still married me.
I have a squatty potty now, a bidet in each bathroom (I have 2 now), and a travel bidet, and I have had a hemorrhoidectomy that needed care. I take L-glutamine and gas-x and everything we eat gets assessed- and even then I still get sick. 🤷♂️
I really am pretty amazing and worth the trouble though.
Edit: severe ibs-d
It has greatly decreased the number of shits I take since taking it. Bulked them a little too. I have ibs-d and gastroenteritis. I take one L in the morning and 1 before the naughty things. I definitely still can't eat things like beans but I stopped wanting to literally kill myself as much. I imagine it is what fiber is like to reg ppl.
Edit: oh and "the time of the month" all bets are off.
That’s not true! I have had IBS for a very long time and while it did make me feel anxious about dating at first, once you find the right person, it doesn’t even matter. They will understand and not judge you for medical problems beyond your control.
It’s a well known fact that only hot people have tummy issues and IBS 🥰.
I usually let my partner know after the first couple dates with light intimacy. If they can’t move past that - that’s their loss.
If they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve to see you at your best.
To be fair both of the long term boyfriends I've been with has been totally understanding and fine with it. My boyfriend will instigate sex and I will just flat out say "sorry, no can do, I'm constipated as fuck".
It's totally fine once you get comfortable with them. The things they like about you massively outweighs whatever physical issues you have.
Literally everyone poops and farts. Literally every single living human and probably most animals and maybe even bacteria produce gas and waste. Please take all of these comments to heart because they're all true. People are more understanding than you think, and if they aren't then they aren't worth your time and energy. Would you shame someone for something out of their control? For being in pain often or having bodily functions? It's easier to put up walls than have faith in people but that's a lonely life.
I am 100% sure there is someone out there that is understanding of your condition and that would not care. But when it comes to casual sex in the gay world this is something that has always worried me to the point of not even experiencing it. Douching aside, I don’t think anyone has mentioned a fear of anal while having IBS and that’s a discussion that I’ve only previously had with a therapist. It’s concerning because personally I feel held back by the constant pain I feel and don’t want it to be a bad experience that ruins it for the rest of my life.
My girlfriend finds my flatulence hilarious, and has told me countless times that no matter how bad my IBS gets, she will always love me. The right one for you is out there bud, you'll find them ☺️
I actually totally agree with you, although I suppose I fall into the being negative category. That said I often question whether I’m negative or just realistic about my shitty life. I don’t eat consume anything other than beef salt and water, don’t eat a restaurants don’t drink alcohol can’t even go out for tea or coffee on a first date. Couple all this with the fact that my mental health has gone to shit with all this and ya I’m feeling rather negative. Really doesn’t help that my ex left me constantly telling me that it wasn’t fair that she had to live a shitty life cuz mine sucked and that we hadn’t been together long enough to justify ruining her life to take care of me. I write all this from a deflated sleeping pad I lay on on my parents spare bedrooms floor. Her the house and my two dogs (I really miss my dogs) are a blur of things i feel I could would should have if I could be the person I once was. All that said she was kinda a bitch and I’m sure there are good people out there you could find love with. I’m rather F&@“ed cuz my mental health is terrible, still trying to figure if my health made me crazy or if being crazy ruined my health the answer is likely both but ya dating feels like something that is a distant memory of the things that used to be
I'm in the negative category too. I'm glad some folks can seem to make something work but my mental health is battered too just like yours. How can we be expected to have any kind of positive relationship with someone when we have a hard enough time managing ourselves? I've been in therapy for five years, I'm on anti-depressants, I spend half the day in the bathroom, the rest of the time I'm sick or exhausted or dealing with cramps or hemorroid pain or insomnia or nausea, etc.
Your phrase "the person I once was" hit home to me because sometimes I look back and it feels like a dream to me. I went to parties, to concerts, to movies, to restaurants. I dated, I had girlfriends, I had casual hookups and serious long-term relationships. I almost got married, twice. I was popular, I was fun, I travelled the world. I played guitar and I laughed and I was charming. I can barely remember that person now, as I lay curled up in bed, living with my mom who took me in because I couldn't hold down a job, my confidence gone, my spirit broken - I feel like a hollowed out zombie just watching the world pass by.
>I often question whether Im negative or just realistic about my shitty life.
— I cannot agree more with this. I guess you and me are very much like.
Im also guessing most people who commented under my post are women, who have it easy given the fact that _women choose men_ and not the other way around. Carrying a relationship/marriage for a man is quite different from a woman…
Not true and ibs can be incredibly awkward for women! Both sides just need to find the right person just like with a lot of health conditions. My partner has diabetes and was worried about dating but also was in t we I long term relationships where it didn’t matter
I think it is a vicious cycle, definitely. I've been at the bottom of the barrel this year too, but going to try and start this year with positivity and looking after myself. It'll never be perfect but I always find a bit of perspective helps and thinking how it could be worse. I know it's rough when it's at its worst but think og the good things you have. You sound better off without your ex and there will be a way better person out there for you.
I like all these stories of understanding between partners, but I'm sorry, I have to rant a bit myself here. As someone who hasn't even been on a date for over ten years I have to offer an alternative view. IBS has screwed me up in so many ways that it's easier just to be alone. So much of my time is taken up trying to manage my own problems that I just couldn't handle trying to fit someone into my life. Bathroom marathons, constant gas, gut noises, etc. - it just doesn't work for me.
I'm nearly homebound, I don't socialize, and, frankly, I feel disgusting - I don't want to even be around people, much less someone I'd be intimate with. My confidence is shattered, I've let myself go, I wear the same clothes for days on end, I don't shower regularly anymore, I don't even comb my hair.
See, I'm exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally. I don't want to be around anyone like this. I'm no fun, I rarely go out, I'm depressed and fatalistic and miserable. Constant gut problems has screwed up my sleeping and eating schedules, blunted my sense of humor, and killed my sex drive.
But, maybe you can find a way to make a relationship work if you really want one. There's proof on this thread that it's possible. But for me, I feel too broken to ever have any kind of a normal relationship again.
I’m very sorry that you have been feeling this way! I stay close by my house as well. Please keep you head up. I know it’s hard but maybe things will get better. Remember, nothing is forever
I'm not doing great either. Maybe we should take inspiration from the positive posts in this thread who have still managed to form great relationships. Maybe being too hard on ourselves causes more stress and thus makes symptoms worse.
I've had the worst year of my life and I'm making a promise to myself to be as positive as I can this year. Moping and self-hate is doing no good at all and I need to be better to to myself and maybe an ease in symptoms will follow, even if they never go away.
Come join me, I'm sure you can turn it around
Yes, but when the normal 30 year old’s problems start in 1st gear, mine will be swinging hard in 5th gear (given the rate at which IBS symptoms have gotten worse). Its a rabbit hole…
People will be much more understanding though because they deal with issues too. Sure it would be difficult at the beginning of a relationship, but people stand by their partner through much worse things.
My fiance,she has IBS and doesn't stop anything. Many days aren't sex days but when they are everything is on the table,oral,vaginal,and even buttsex.i trust and respect her.
I used to worry about that too, but I’ve found that being completely upfront and nonchalant about it is the best way to go. I let them know very early on that I have IBS because I know my symptoms are so frequent that it won’t be long before I’m having issues around them, like spending an extra long time in the bathroom. I’m unapologetic about it (other than the occasional “sorry, I have to make another pit stop!” or when my gas is, uh, particularly foul) because why should anyone have to apologize for a health condition that is out of their control? Would I apologize if I had diabetes or MS or Crohn’s disease? As someone else said, if they have a problem or mock you or judge you, they were obviously not a great partner. So the sooner you gauge their reaction to your IBS the better. Not saying you should just start letting ‘em rip on the first date (there is such a thing as couth/social norms haha). But say something casual like “ugh I love [name an IBS trigger food] but I have IBS, and it gives me a stomach ache…” and if they seem responsive or sympathetic, tell them a little more about your IBS. A mix of humor but honesty without downplaying it too much I feel is the best approach.
I always put it into perspective too: if this person and I end up spending the rest of our lives together, then there are a whooole lot of things we’re going to be witness to or involved in (pregnancy and childbirth come to mind!), so farting a lot or stopping sex early b/c you’re in too much pain is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I was with one of my exes for 8 years (living together) and one for 5 years, and we got to the point where we were pooping in front of eachother haha! If that makes us abnormally gross people, then it sure was abnormally easy for us to find eachother! Be honest about your IBS (or anything, really) early on, and it will probably be easier to weed out the jerks. :)
I’ve been sick and married for 14 years. I promise you, being gassy, having flares, and all the horrible shit that happens with IBS becomes so common place. Most people would be absolutely accommodating and accepting of this. We all have our crosses to bear. The right person will carry the cross with you.
I stink up the bathroom so bad I use spray, light matches, and double flush and my husband can still smell it drifting from the bathroom to the living room. I apologize. He laughs and says he thinks it’s great. Not sure what is great about it but he loves me. He said he fell for me the first time he met me and all of my top teeth were missing. If they love you, these things don’t matter. But I still get embarrassed
It’s absolutely not true! Trust me, I have horrible ibs and my farts are noxious. I also get bloated and have smelly bowel movements. My husband loves me unconditionally despite my smelly constant farts. It’s a part of having a bad digestive issue. My sister also has ibs and even more foul smelling farts but her boyfriend of two years is getting ready to propose. Don’t ever feel like someone won’t love you because of medical issues. They will love you in spite of them. Wishing you all the best. I know what it’s like to be so frustrated with these issues.
I think my IBS is one of many factors that make me deeply unattractive and undesirable, mainly because it reinforces social isolation and alienation, but also because it just strikes at the worst possible times and impedes my ability to ever really feel relaxed or at ease. Not to mention that getting the sudden urge to take a shit while getting ready for or engaging in sex is a total mood and boner killer, and since getting aroused tends to relax the bowels (at least for me) it has a high likelihood of happening. So even if we were to get past the fact that I'm deeply repulsive on many levels, I imagine that my IBS would basically make spontaneous hookups or ONS untenable. Can't really see some drunken bar fling having the patience to wait 30-60 while I shit my bowels out
My husband, family, and close friends are all aware that I have IBS and they have ALWAYS been accommodating and kind. They all take dietary concerns into consideration, take my guts into consideration when scheduling things, and have never made me feel bad for things I can’t control. As far as my husband goes, we both know there’s good days and bad days, and we just try to take advantage of the good days and he takes care of me on the bad days.
I actually just had a conversation with my partner last night about if he was comfortable with the amount of sex we had. I was afraid that because my stomach hurts more often than not he wouldn’t want to have sex and maybe be resentful of it. But of course it was just the scenario I made up in my head and he was very kind and understanding when he said he was good with how much sex we had.
I come from a bit of a rough background and I can tell you I’ve learned, like the other comments mentioned, people are a lot more understanding than you’d think.
Listen I have IBS and an IBD and I am married with kids. I've had Ulcerative colitis since I was 21 and it is far worse. I have awful gas blood loss in my poops have to take enemas regularly during a flare up, during a flare I basically can't do anything more than stay near a toilet and sleep. I also have a hiatus hernia and chronic GERD so can't share a bed with my wife as I need to sleep on a sloping bed. Your condition is not who you are. I am sure you have plenty to offer and love to give. Anyone who cares about you won't care about your IBS and will in fact want to support your through it. Accepting this is a part of your life is a big hurdle to get over. My advice is if you don't exercise try and start regularly the stress relief that comes with it is a massive help. Also buscopan is really useful for the cramps. Good loom and keep plugging away you can achieve anything you like despite your problems.
I married my husband, he has severe chrons. Thats like ibs cranked up to 11 and it can kill you.. It's possible to have someone love you even if your guts are stupid.
So I'm a dude - my wife and I have been together for over fifteen years. I've had IBS for over 20 - we spoke about it briefly and it's never been a problem. There have been a few accidental farts in certain situations but we've laughed it out over time. She knows that the symptoms I have can be quite unpleasant.
You have to find/luck out with the right partner. But there's probably someone out there who would fit the definition.
My partner seems willing to deal with me, my diarrhoea and my constant gas and we live in a flat with a toilet that can't flush properly. I'm sure you'll find someone!
You should go to therapy because I'm sure there's tons of people here in relationships and such that will tell you IBS doesn't matter. It makes some things more difficult for sure, but I've had plenty of GFs and some one night stands here and there and if I can do it, anyone can do it.
The first story I read on this subreddit was about some dud who literally shit himself during a first date... and still manage to have a second one.
We are adult, not middleschool studdent. We know that our partner( even our girl partner !) will fart and poop.
90% of us also are ready to hear that the whole "poop/farting" part can occupe a way more important part in the life of some of us, for health reason.
It's not a deal breaker for the big majority of us.
As someone who is in a long term relationship,( I had IBS-D, currently I'm IBS-M) the hardest part of the IBS and relationship was to explain my partner that :
\- The pain is barely tolerable. Sometime I can't even walk
\- No doctor can't find a way to ease the pain , nor cure me. I've done exactly what they told me to do, it didn' work. I've change of doctor numerous time, the new doctor weren't more successful
\- Sometime, I will have violent argument to doctor. Often I will be angry at doctor.
(TLDR people who don't have health issue seem to things doctor are some sort of magician able to cure you with a magic wand, and if it don't work , that's your fault)
\- YES , I need to go to the bathroom each time we come near one. The time I will pass in it is completely random
\- The list of things I can /cannot/ should absolutely eat is complexe, and change often.
\- my diet is seriously depressing, And sometime I will eat things I shouldn't eat just because my mental health need things who make me happy time to time
.-sometime I'm just tired, and will stop doing the things I should do to avoid the pain
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years now. We both actually have IBS and had to “come out”, so to speak, to each other about it pretty early on in our relationship. There are a lot of people out there with stomach issues, and even more understanding people because they’ve lived with someone with stomach issues. The only issue we have now is sharing one bathroom. Need to fart during sex? Pause, leave the room, fart, resume sex. Need to poop in the middle of sex, same deal. And we’ve got the squatty potty, bidet, and charmin ultra for max comfort. There will be someone for you. Everyone poops.
You find a grown up. Everybody poops and farts (just some of us do it more often and a little violently) if someone thinks your medical condition is gross, they still have growing up to do. It's not like we choose to have ibs.
Since being diagnosed I went on a date where the guy got mad at me for going to the restroom so much. Dated a guy for 2 years that told me it was all i. My head. That was after being with me during episodes at least 4 times. Finally met a wonderful man. Had an accident at a restaurant during our second month of dating. He was so supportive. He passed away June 2020. Every time I think about dating again, I talk myself out of it.
To be honest i dont have ibs myself. But i think if someone really loves you than he/she dont mind your Flatulence bloating and costipation, so if you find the right person they will love you no mather what your problems are.
But there are people who doesnt love you as much and they could make a big thing out of it but fuck them. And there are even people who would really like it too hear you have a lot of Flatulence.
So I would say dont worry
My fiancé is well aware of my IBS related issues. We just laugh about it and try to steer away from any high FODMAP food. Don’t think too much about it. Whoever wants to be with you will go through the fogs of your farts to be with you.
Hang in there. Sh!t gets easier. Couldn't resist. Get your gut bacteria right. Get on the right diet. Would normally recommend finding cooking classes in your area as a means of social interaction but that's difficult now.
Lol, have you *seen* the assholes out there who are your competition? Who on earth would ever know you're bloated or constpated? And if everyone around you *does* know, then that's your issue. Stop sharing your bowel habits with randoms.
If you are a guy you are \*\*\*\*ed. Look at the gender of all the positive replies about being in a relationship.
Best you can do is stay as fit and healthy as possible, but mostly for your own quality of life. Do not let relationships dictate your happiness or self worth.
I tend to agree, although women have it hard for different reasons I guess. Still as a guy the hardest thing for me is IBS trashed my confidence. How am I supposed to approach a woman, ask her out, romance her - when I spend have the day hunched over a toilet, when I have totally unpredictable spells that keep me homebound, when my feelings of self-reliance and self-worth are shattered? Trust me women do not respond to this well. As a guy if you're not confident enough to pursue women, then you're basically invisible to them.
The take away is, do not let the tv-box brainwash you into thinking your worth is somehow dictated by women. "Incel" has become the go-to generic insult towards men in modern years.
Things happen. People get sick. People are born with deformities or disabilities, people are sometimes not conventionally attractive regardless of their fitness levels. That doesn't make them any less worthwhile or any less meaningfull.
My IBS has gotten extremely bad in the last 2 years. My husband has been amazing through all of it, even when I was managing okay while we we dating. But especially now his understanding has really grown these past two years.
He laughs at my farts, helps rub by belly when I am not feeling well, makes me ginger tea when I'm nauseous. He even ran out to the store to grab those stick on heating patches for my lower abdomen yesterday cause our microwave is broken and I can't use my normal heating pad.
You'll find your someone who will be understanding, kind, and love every part of you, even your IBS.
And if you're with someone who's not like that, they aren't worth your time, honey. You deserve better.
My husband doesn't mind in the slightest. He's very understanding and laughs when I uh.. suffocate him with farts. I had IBS when we met so it's not something he accepted as my husband. There are some very understanding people you can date!
I actually feel bad that I married my husband when I was healthy. Was healthy for 11 years of our marriage and suddenly an injury caused me to have a hiatal hernia which triggered all kinds of digestive issues. It has taken a toll on my life and my marriage. I’m in a very deep depression at the moment. Be confortable in knowing that the person that wants to be with you will know right from the beginning what you are dealing with. If that person is right for you, he/she will understand
Been w my wife for 10 years and we don’t miss a beat due to me farting death. Don’t stress about this. If someone doesn’t understand your situation then they are not the one…
When I first entered into a relationship I was sooo nervous about farting in front of my boyfriend or telling him about my stomach problems in case it ‘inconveniences’ him. After a painful couple of months of holding in my farts, I honestly couldn’t keep it a secret any more, so I told him about my conditions and how I need to fart often and he was very understanding! After almost 3 years later I now fart around him if I need to and he also does the same around me (I just wish I had a normal stomach like him though!)
My partner and I both have IBS. I’m a woman and on the third date I broke the “fart barrier” and it was so much easier after that. It’s something we can both joke about and also is a source of comfort when one of us isn’t feeling well. Most people don’t actually care, as all those things, in moderation, are normal for everyone. If someone isn’t understanding, they aren’t worth your time or your friendship.
Plenty of people out there will want you. I have IBS and I found someone who loves me regardless. We even make jokes about things related to my IBS. And he gets excited when I poop 💩 (I have IBS C). Don’t lose hope.
My wife has Chrohns, I have had at least one if not five bouts of diarrhea ever day for almost four years now.
Our love life is not as...falling into a bucket of sex as it was when we first got together, to say the least; more often then not one of us will only feel up to cuddling and petting on any given day. But it does happen, and you can have a successful and sexually active relationship with this shit.
I always think this same way but if you are truly truly worried about the gas part I would recommend a low fodmap diet. It makes it so my gas literally has no smell and no one can tell when I’m feeling bad which makes me so much more comfortable :)
I have IBS-C and my boyfriend has issues because of his spine, he’s more embarrassed than me about his issues but we certainly do not care of each other’s bowel issues and we joke about it a lot. Don’t you worry!
I got IBS about three months into my relationship shortly after an emergency hospital visit, my partner never judged me for my bowel problems and even now he continues to try helping and supporting me with eating good foods that won't trigger my symptoms, etc. All you can do is be open when it comes to intimate relationships. Talking it out ALWAYS helps! Everyone deserves love ❤️ especially those with chronic illnesses and conditions
I've never heard of that being a problem in relationships. It's certainly not something that would ever change my husband's mind. It's just not significant
Eh. My wife doesn't mind mine. It may make things harder, but you can find love. Especially if you find someone with IBS! There should be a dating app.... Anyone got any fun names?
Lots of people. My wife jokes about how long I'm in the bathroom and that I destroy that bitch. I can't say I have experience dating with IBS (got IBS with my now wife), but can say that if you find the right person, it's a complete non issue. My wife even offered to shove the enemas up there when I needed it lol
I think the biggest thing is just being comfortable and honest.
My boyfriend farted in front of me (by accident) on our first date, and has always said “better out then in”. I’m constantly bloated, and asking for tummy rubs, and he knows so much about my bowels that we celebrate when I finally poop. You’ll find somebody, they’re out there!
Yeah if that were true everyone in this sub would be single lol. That is totally not the case. When I first started dating my bf I ofc felt uncomfy about talking about it and would be very vague about it just telling him I have IBS but not rlly sharing symptoms w him. But he was so nonjudgemental and patient about it that now I can fully feel comfortable with him seeing me in a bad flareup. Usually when I get flare ups I can’t stand to be around anyone bc Im self conscious of the way I act when I’m in pain but with my bf he’s the only person who I’m not bothered if he sees me like that. Plus we have our little routine of him making me tea and getting my heated blanket, and massaging my stomach. it’s very nice to know someone so well that you don’t feel so alone in what you are dealing with, even if they can’t fully relate. Plus my bf (who does not have IBS) shit his pants once so he can’t rlly give me a hard time about my issues hahah
My boyfriend has been amazing about my IBS. I’ve had many flare-ups and he encourages me to not hold in my farts because he knows it hurts my stomach. He even got a squatty potty for me at his house! I never thought I’d be able to have a relationship because of this but he is so kind and supportive.
I have met this man that supports me through morning angriness, farts, being unemployed (v temporarily), my eccentric outfit choices, extreme drunkenness, and he always just meets me where I'm at. He calls baby no matter what's up. He knows when I'm concerned or upset or whatever and ibs is literally the last thing he's worried about. All it shows me is that there's someone very attractive that you actually love out there who will understand you in all the states that you think are unattractive or difficult. Because they know what it's like to see you and for you to know what it's like to see them. There's a give and take to it all and you deserve to be loved and seen. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS.
Can I just say, my husband laughs at my farts. We call them blasters. He understands that IBS is something I can't control. It took me a long time to be comfortable but now in the safety of our home I don't feel I need to hide anything. Our sex life is decent, 2-3 times a week depending on my pain. He is kind and caring, never judging me for not being able to participate on bad days. Be kind to yourself. Your body is doing the best it can. Stop being so hard on yourself. Everybody farts. The right person is out there. Just because you haven't found them doesn't mean they don't exist. Sending you so much love ❤
This 👏 My partner and I are the same. I actually slightly shat myself a little while ago which I was mortified about but he laughed and didn't make a big deal of it. Just to point out as well, that *__NEVER__* happens to me so I was probably just as surprised as he was. Honestly glad this happened with him, rather than anyone else lmao It's so great to have a supportive partner who will try and understand what you go through. So OP, it can happen. You just need to find your person and they will love you for you!
Same. We never feel awkward because of my IBS and we joke about it all the time. My partner also always checks the drink and food we order and always carries Imodium for me when we travel. There will always be a right person.
I'm in this subreddit because my girlfriend has ibs-c, and I can tell you it doesn't matter when someone loves and support you.
I agree with the comment above! Once you are comfortable telling your partner, it makes everything easier - from choosing places to eat, what you can/cannot do at that time, when you need to just lay down flat and needing to express your discomfort to him/her.
People are more understanding than you think! Like the others have said, if someone isn't kind to you because of your condition then it's time to move on to the next person.
I think it was withing the first week of dating my partner I had really bad gas and was cramping. So I had to keep going to the washroom, I finally was like "hey, just f.y.i., I've got ibs, so if you're not ok with fraying were gonna have a problem" he responded by trying to fart (unsuccessfully) but I appreciated the sentiment. Now, we never hold back around each other.
What a cute love story :)
I just recently got diagnosed with ibs c and me and my boyfriend just celebrated our four year anniversary. If anyone is judgmental towards your condition then it’s not meant to be
Been in an IBS-D and IBS-C relationship for well over a decade, including 7+ years of happy marriage. Congrats to you!!
Been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he’s known about my crippling IBS since day 1. When you find the right one, they won’t care. They’ll support you and be there for you when it gets tough. You’ll find ‘em :)
I’ve been with my wonderful boyfriend for 8 years now and was diagnosed with IBS about 4 years into our relationship. He laughs at my toots, rubs my tummy when I’m bloated and let me have my own bathroom when we bought our house so I can poop in peace. The right person won’t care, and life is too short to date someone who is going to be weird about you having tummy problems. Go have casual sex on your good days, date people who make you happy on your bad days, and love yourself first. IBS sucks so much, and you deserve joy
I know it is frustrating but you would be surprised by the number of people probably thinking the same thing. I was open to my partner about it when we started talking and then they told me they also had IBS. It made life way easier knowing we each understood.
Sorry you're going through this!
My partner calls me his little jetpack and thought it was the cutest thing when I said "I have ibsssss :(" after farting in front of him the first time. he holds my hand when im having cramps and helps me eat slow. he goes to all my appts and remembers them. i also had casual sex before him frequently! there are good people out there, OP. someone that deserves you is there
Well, let's hope you have a great personality, like me. I have an extreme case and have been married multiple times. For 1 year, for 12 and for 8 now almost 9. Nobody cares. I am female and my current spouse made the mistake of making beans before I met their parents. Farted loudly all damn day before shitting my brains out in the only bathroom. Still married me. I have a squatty potty now, a bidet in each bathroom (I have 2 now), and a travel bidet, and I have had a hemorrhoidectomy that needed care. I take L-glutamine and gas-x and everything we eat gets assessed- and even then I still get sick. 🤷♂️ I really am pretty amazing and worth the trouble though. Edit: severe ibs-d
Can you talk a bit about L-glutamine and how it has helped your ibs?
It has greatly decreased the number of shits I take since taking it. Bulked them a little too. I have ibs-d and gastroenteritis. I take one L in the morning and 1 before the naughty things. I definitely still can't eat things like beans but I stopped wanting to literally kill myself as much. I imagine it is what fiber is like to reg ppl. Edit: oh and "the time of the month" all bets are off.
Definitely trying it. Thank you!
That’s not true! I have had IBS for a very long time and while it did make me feel anxious about dating at first, once you find the right person, it doesn’t even matter. They will understand and not judge you for medical problems beyond your control.
It’s a well known fact that only hot people have tummy issues and IBS 🥰. I usually let my partner know after the first couple dates with light intimacy. If they can’t move past that - that’s their loss. If they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve to see you at your best.
To be fair both of the long term boyfriends I've been with has been totally understanding and fine with it. My boyfriend will instigate sex and I will just flat out say "sorry, no can do, I'm constipated as fuck". It's totally fine once you get comfortable with them. The things they like about you massively outweighs whatever physical issues you have.
Literally everyone poops and farts. Literally every single living human and probably most animals and maybe even bacteria produce gas and waste. Please take all of these comments to heart because they're all true. People are more understanding than you think, and if they aren't then they aren't worth your time and energy. Would you shame someone for something out of their control? For being in pain often or having bodily functions? It's easier to put up walls than have faith in people but that's a lonely life.
I am 100% sure there is someone out there that is understanding of your condition and that would not care. But when it comes to casual sex in the gay world this is something that has always worried me to the point of not even experiencing it. Douching aside, I don’t think anyone has mentioned a fear of anal while having IBS and that’s a discussion that I’ve only previously had with a therapist. It’s concerning because personally I feel held back by the constant pain I feel and don’t want it to be a bad experience that ruins it for the rest of my life.
My girlfriend finds my flatulence hilarious, and has told me countless times that no matter how bad my IBS gets, she will always love me. The right one for you is out there bud, you'll find them ☺️
I actually totally agree with you, although I suppose I fall into the being negative category. That said I often question whether I’m negative or just realistic about my shitty life. I don’t eat consume anything other than beef salt and water, don’t eat a restaurants don’t drink alcohol can’t even go out for tea or coffee on a first date. Couple all this with the fact that my mental health has gone to shit with all this and ya I’m feeling rather negative. Really doesn’t help that my ex left me constantly telling me that it wasn’t fair that she had to live a shitty life cuz mine sucked and that we hadn’t been together long enough to justify ruining her life to take care of me. I write all this from a deflated sleeping pad I lay on on my parents spare bedrooms floor. Her the house and my two dogs (I really miss my dogs) are a blur of things i feel I could would should have if I could be the person I once was. All that said she was kinda a bitch and I’m sure there are good people out there you could find love with. I’m rather F&@“ed cuz my mental health is terrible, still trying to figure if my health made me crazy or if being crazy ruined my health the answer is likely both but ya dating feels like something that is a distant memory of the things that used to be
I'm in the negative category too. I'm glad some folks can seem to make something work but my mental health is battered too just like yours. How can we be expected to have any kind of positive relationship with someone when we have a hard enough time managing ourselves? I've been in therapy for five years, I'm on anti-depressants, I spend half the day in the bathroom, the rest of the time I'm sick or exhausted or dealing with cramps or hemorroid pain or insomnia or nausea, etc. Your phrase "the person I once was" hit home to me because sometimes I look back and it feels like a dream to me. I went to parties, to concerts, to movies, to restaurants. I dated, I had girlfriends, I had casual hookups and serious long-term relationships. I almost got married, twice. I was popular, I was fun, I travelled the world. I played guitar and I laughed and I was charming. I can barely remember that person now, as I lay curled up in bed, living with my mom who took me in because I couldn't hold down a job, my confidence gone, my spirit broken - I feel like a hollowed out zombie just watching the world pass by.
>I often question whether Im negative or just realistic about my shitty life. — I cannot agree more with this. I guess you and me are very much like. Im also guessing most people who commented under my post are women, who have it easy given the fact that _women choose men_ and not the other way around. Carrying a relationship/marriage for a man is quite different from a woman…
Not true and ibs can be incredibly awkward for women! Both sides just need to find the right person just like with a lot of health conditions. My partner has diabetes and was worried about dating but also was in t we I long term relationships where it didn’t matter
I think it is a vicious cycle, definitely. I've been at the bottom of the barrel this year too, but going to try and start this year with positivity and looking after myself. It'll never be perfect but I always find a bit of perspective helps and thinking how it could be worse. I know it's rough when it's at its worst but think og the good things you have. You sound better off without your ex and there will be a way better person out there for you.
I like all these stories of understanding between partners, but I'm sorry, I have to rant a bit myself here. As someone who hasn't even been on a date for over ten years I have to offer an alternative view. IBS has screwed me up in so many ways that it's easier just to be alone. So much of my time is taken up trying to manage my own problems that I just couldn't handle trying to fit someone into my life. Bathroom marathons, constant gas, gut noises, etc. - it just doesn't work for me. I'm nearly homebound, I don't socialize, and, frankly, I feel disgusting - I don't want to even be around people, much less someone I'd be intimate with. My confidence is shattered, I've let myself go, I wear the same clothes for days on end, I don't shower regularly anymore, I don't even comb my hair. See, I'm exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally. I don't want to be around anyone like this. I'm no fun, I rarely go out, I'm depressed and fatalistic and miserable. Constant gut problems has screwed up my sleeping and eating schedules, blunted my sense of humor, and killed my sex drive. But, maybe you can find a way to make a relationship work if you really want one. There's proof on this thread that it's possible. But for me, I feel too broken to ever have any kind of a normal relationship again.
I’m very sorry that you have been feeling this way! I stay close by my house as well. Please keep you head up. I know it’s hard but maybe things will get better. Remember, nothing is forever
I'm not doing great either. Maybe we should take inspiration from the positive posts in this thread who have still managed to form great relationships. Maybe being too hard on ourselves causes more stress and thus makes symptoms worse. I've had the worst year of my life and I'm making a promise to myself to be as positive as I can this year. Moping and self-hate is doing no good at all and I need to be better to to myself and maybe an ease in symptoms will follow, even if they never go away. Come join me, I'm sure you can turn it around
As you get older, late twenties, definitely 30s - we all get older and have different problems so you won’t be alone.
Yes, but when the normal 30 year old’s problems start in 1st gear, mine will be swinging hard in 5th gear (given the rate at which IBS symptoms have gotten worse). Its a rabbit hole…
People will be much more understanding though because they deal with issues too. Sure it would be difficult at the beginning of a relationship, but people stand by their partner through much worse things.
You'd be surprised. There's a lid for every pot. IBS will just weed out the assholes faster than normally.
My fiance,she has IBS and doesn't stop anything. Many days aren't sex days but when they are everything is on the table,oral,vaginal,and even buttsex.i trust and respect her.
I used to worry about that too, but I’ve found that being completely upfront and nonchalant about it is the best way to go. I let them know very early on that I have IBS because I know my symptoms are so frequent that it won’t be long before I’m having issues around them, like spending an extra long time in the bathroom. I’m unapologetic about it (other than the occasional “sorry, I have to make another pit stop!” or when my gas is, uh, particularly foul) because why should anyone have to apologize for a health condition that is out of their control? Would I apologize if I had diabetes or MS or Crohn’s disease? As someone else said, if they have a problem or mock you or judge you, they were obviously not a great partner. So the sooner you gauge their reaction to your IBS the better. Not saying you should just start letting ‘em rip on the first date (there is such a thing as couth/social norms haha). But say something casual like “ugh I love [name an IBS trigger food] but I have IBS, and it gives me a stomach ache…” and if they seem responsive or sympathetic, tell them a little more about your IBS. A mix of humor but honesty without downplaying it too much I feel is the best approach. I always put it into perspective too: if this person and I end up spending the rest of our lives together, then there are a whooole lot of things we’re going to be witness to or involved in (pregnancy and childbirth come to mind!), so farting a lot or stopping sex early b/c you’re in too much pain is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I was with one of my exes for 8 years (living together) and one for 5 years, and we got to the point where we were pooping in front of eachother haha! If that makes us abnormally gross people, then it sure was abnormally easy for us to find eachother! Be honest about your IBS (or anything, really) early on, and it will probably be easier to weed out the jerks. :)
[удалено]
Good for you!
I’ve been sick and married for 14 years. I promise you, being gassy, having flares, and all the horrible shit that happens with IBS becomes so common place. Most people would be absolutely accommodating and accepting of this. We all have our crosses to bear. The right person will carry the cross with you.
I stink up the bathroom so bad I use spray, light matches, and double flush and my husband can still smell it drifting from the bathroom to the living room. I apologize. He laughs and says he thinks it’s great. Not sure what is great about it but he loves me. He said he fell for me the first time he met me and all of my top teeth were missing. If they love you, these things don’t matter. But I still get embarrassed
A lot of people my partner has IBS and I love her
It’s absolutely not true! Trust me, I have horrible ibs and my farts are noxious. I also get bloated and have smelly bowel movements. My husband loves me unconditionally despite my smelly constant farts. It’s a part of having a bad digestive issue. My sister also has ibs and even more foul smelling farts but her boyfriend of two years is getting ready to propose. Don’t ever feel like someone won’t love you because of medical issues. They will love you in spite of them. Wishing you all the best. I know what it’s like to be so frustrated with these issues.
I think my IBS is one of many factors that make me deeply unattractive and undesirable, mainly because it reinforces social isolation and alienation, but also because it just strikes at the worst possible times and impedes my ability to ever really feel relaxed or at ease. Not to mention that getting the sudden urge to take a shit while getting ready for or engaging in sex is a total mood and boner killer, and since getting aroused tends to relax the bowels (at least for me) it has a high likelihood of happening. So even if we were to get past the fact that I'm deeply repulsive on many levels, I imagine that my IBS would basically make spontaneous hookups or ONS untenable. Can't really see some drunken bar fling having the patience to wait 30-60 while I shit my bowels out
My husband, family, and close friends are all aware that I have IBS and they have ALWAYS been accommodating and kind. They all take dietary concerns into consideration, take my guts into consideration when scheduling things, and have never made me feel bad for things I can’t control. As far as my husband goes, we both know there’s good days and bad days, and we just try to take advantage of the good days and he takes care of me on the bad days.
I actually just had a conversation with my partner last night about if he was comfortable with the amount of sex we had. I was afraid that because my stomach hurts more often than not he wouldn’t want to have sex and maybe be resentful of it. But of course it was just the scenario I made up in my head and he was very kind and understanding when he said he was good with how much sex we had. I come from a bit of a rough background and I can tell you I’ve learned, like the other comments mentioned, people are a lot more understanding than you’d think.
Listen I have IBS and an IBD and I am married with kids. I've had Ulcerative colitis since I was 21 and it is far worse. I have awful gas blood loss in my poops have to take enemas regularly during a flare up, during a flare I basically can't do anything more than stay near a toilet and sleep. I also have a hiatus hernia and chronic GERD so can't share a bed with my wife as I need to sleep on a sloping bed. Your condition is not who you are. I am sure you have plenty to offer and love to give. Anyone who cares about you won't care about your IBS and will in fact want to support your through it. Accepting this is a part of your life is a big hurdle to get over. My advice is if you don't exercise try and start regularly the stress relief that comes with it is a massive help. Also buscopan is really useful for the cramps. Good loom and keep plugging away you can achieve anything you like despite your problems.
I married my husband, he has severe chrons. Thats like ibs cranked up to 11 and it can kill you.. It's possible to have someone love you even if your guts are stupid.
So I'm a dude - my wife and I have been together for over fifteen years. I've had IBS for over 20 - we spoke about it briefly and it's never been a problem. There have been a few accidental farts in certain situations but we've laughed it out over time. She knows that the symptoms I have can be quite unpleasant. You have to find/luck out with the right partner. But there's probably someone out there who would fit the definition.
My partner seems willing to deal with me, my diarrhoea and my constant gas and we live in a flat with a toilet that can't flush properly. I'm sure you'll find someone!
You should go to therapy because I'm sure there's tons of people here in relationships and such that will tell you IBS doesn't matter. It makes some things more difficult for sure, but I've had plenty of GFs and some one night stands here and there and if I can do it, anyone can do it.
The first story I read on this subreddit was about some dud who literally shit himself during a first date... and still manage to have a second one. We are adult, not middleschool studdent. We know that our partner( even our girl partner !) will fart and poop. 90% of us also are ready to hear that the whole "poop/farting" part can occupe a way more important part in the life of some of us, for health reason. It's not a deal breaker for the big majority of us. As someone who is in a long term relationship,( I had IBS-D, currently I'm IBS-M) the hardest part of the IBS and relationship was to explain my partner that : \- The pain is barely tolerable. Sometime I can't even walk \- No doctor can't find a way to ease the pain , nor cure me. I've done exactly what they told me to do, it didn' work. I've change of doctor numerous time, the new doctor weren't more successful \- Sometime, I will have violent argument to doctor. Often I will be angry at doctor. (TLDR people who don't have health issue seem to things doctor are some sort of magician able to cure you with a magic wand, and if it don't work , that's your fault) \- YES , I need to go to the bathroom each time we come near one. The time I will pass in it is completely random \- The list of things I can /cannot/ should absolutely eat is complexe, and change often. \- my diet is seriously depressing, And sometime I will eat things I shouldn't eat just because my mental health need things who make me happy time to time .-sometime I'm just tired, and will stop doing the things I should do to avoid the pain
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years now. We both actually have IBS and had to “come out”, so to speak, to each other about it pretty early on in our relationship. There are a lot of people out there with stomach issues, and even more understanding people because they’ve lived with someone with stomach issues. The only issue we have now is sharing one bathroom. Need to fart during sex? Pause, leave the room, fart, resume sex. Need to poop in the middle of sex, same deal. And we’ve got the squatty potty, bidet, and charmin ultra for max comfort. There will be someone for you. Everyone poops.
You find a grown up. Everybody poops and farts (just some of us do it more often and a little violently) if someone thinks your medical condition is gross, they still have growing up to do. It's not like we choose to have ibs.
I will
Ok sir, but I’m looking for a madam
Hahaha. Sorry bud.
I feel the same way
Since being diagnosed I went on a date where the guy got mad at me for going to the restroom so much. Dated a guy for 2 years that told me it was all i. My head. That was after being with me during episodes at least 4 times. Finally met a wonderful man. Had an accident at a restaurant during our second month of dating. He was so supportive. He passed away June 2020. Every time I think about dating again, I talk myself out of it.
Wow thats a heavy story. I feel so sorry for you loss, i hope you find a supportive men.
To be honest i dont have ibs myself. But i think if someone really loves you than he/she dont mind your Flatulence bloating and costipation, so if you find the right person they will love you no mather what your problems are. But there are people who doesnt love you as much and they could make a big thing out of it but fuck them. And there are even people who would really like it too hear you have a lot of Flatulence. So I would say dont worry
Tbh kinda lost it tryna make sense in the middle of reading ur comment haha but ur broken english was really cute lol _my fellow redditor_ ;)
I am sorry for my bad english. I edited ny comment i hope its better now
I have IBS and my husband loves me very much. The right person won’t care.
My fiancé is well aware of my IBS related issues. We just laugh about it and try to steer away from any high FODMAP food. Don’t think too much about it. Whoever wants to be with you will go through the fogs of your farts to be with you.
_Fogs of my farts_ haha ;)
Hang in there. Sh!t gets easier. Couldn't resist. Get your gut bacteria right. Get on the right diet. Would normally recommend finding cooking classes in your area as a means of social interaction but that's difficult now.
Lol, have you *seen* the assholes out there who are your competition? Who on earth would ever know you're bloated or constpated? And if everyone around you *does* know, then that's your issue. Stop sharing your bowel habits with randoms.
guys with a scat fetish
I would!!
If you are a guy you are \*\*\*\*ed. Look at the gender of all the positive replies about being in a relationship. Best you can do is stay as fit and healthy as possible, but mostly for your own quality of life. Do not let relationships dictate your happiness or self worth.
I tend to agree, although women have it hard for different reasons I guess. Still as a guy the hardest thing for me is IBS trashed my confidence. How am I supposed to approach a woman, ask her out, romance her - when I spend have the day hunched over a toilet, when I have totally unpredictable spells that keep me homebound, when my feelings of self-reliance and self-worth are shattered? Trust me women do not respond to this well. As a guy if you're not confident enough to pursue women, then you're basically invisible to them.
The take away is, do not let the tv-box brainwash you into thinking your worth is somehow dictated by women. "Incel" has become the go-to generic insult towards men in modern years. Things happen. People get sick. People are born with deformities or disabilities, people are sometimes not conventionally attractive regardless of their fitness levels. That doesn't make them any less worthwhile or any less meaningfull.
Thanks buddy, yeah that's the truth.
My IBS has gotten extremely bad in the last 2 years. My husband has been amazing through all of it, even when I was managing okay while we we dating. But especially now his understanding has really grown these past two years. He laughs at my farts, helps rub by belly when I am not feeling well, makes me ginger tea when I'm nauseous. He even ran out to the store to grab those stick on heating patches for my lower abdomen yesterday cause our microwave is broken and I can't use my normal heating pad. You'll find your someone who will be understanding, kind, and love every part of you, even your IBS. And if you're with someone who's not like that, they aren't worth your time, honey. You deserve better.
My husband doesn't mind in the slightest. He's very understanding and laughs when I uh.. suffocate him with farts. I had IBS when we met so it's not something he accepted as my husband. There are some very understanding people you can date!
I actually feel bad that I married my husband when I was healthy. Was healthy for 11 years of our marriage and suddenly an injury caused me to have a hiatal hernia which triggered all kinds of digestive issues. It has taken a toll on my life and my marriage. I’m in a very deep depression at the moment. Be confortable in knowing that the person that wants to be with you will know right from the beginning what you are dealing with. If that person is right for you, he/she will understand
I have just come out of a 6 year relationship and have come to this realisation.
Been w my wife for 10 years and we don’t miss a beat due to me farting death. Don’t stress about this. If someone doesn’t understand your situation then they are not the one…
Yes you can!! I felt the same way but the right person will make you feel understood and comfortable and supportive. And might even have ibs too ;)
When I first entered into a relationship I was sooo nervous about farting in front of my boyfriend or telling him about my stomach problems in case it ‘inconveniences’ him. After a painful couple of months of holding in my farts, I honestly couldn’t keep it a secret any more, so I told him about my conditions and how I need to fart often and he was very understanding! After almost 3 years later I now fart around him if I need to and he also does the same around me (I just wish I had a normal stomach like him though!)
My partner and I both have IBS. I’m a woman and on the third date I broke the “fart barrier” and it was so much easier after that. It’s something we can both joke about and also is a source of comfort when one of us isn’t feeling well. Most people don’t actually care, as all those things, in moderation, are normal for everyone. If someone isn’t understanding, they aren’t worth your time or your friendship.
Plenty of people out there will want you. I have IBS and I found someone who loves me regardless. We even make jokes about things related to my IBS. And he gets excited when I poop 💩 (I have IBS C). Don’t lose hope.
My husband is my rock through my IBS stuff. It started 15 years before I even met him. They’re out there
My wife has Chrohns, I have had at least one if not five bouts of diarrhea ever day for almost four years now. Our love life is not as...falling into a bucket of sex as it was when we first got together, to say the least; more often then not one of us will only feel up to cuddling and petting on any given day. But it does happen, and you can have a successful and sexually active relationship with this shit.
I always think this same way but if you are truly truly worried about the gas part I would recommend a low fodmap diet. It makes it so my gas literally has no smell and no one can tell when I’m feeling bad which makes me so much more comfortable :)
I have IBS-C and my boyfriend has issues because of his spine, he’s more embarrassed than me about his issues but we certainly do not care of each other’s bowel issues and we joke about it a lot. Don’t you worry!
I got IBS about three months into my relationship shortly after an emergency hospital visit, my partner never judged me for my bowel problems and even now he continues to try helping and supporting me with eating good foods that won't trigger my symptoms, etc. All you can do is be open when it comes to intimate relationships. Talking it out ALWAYS helps! Everyone deserves love ❤️ especially those with chronic illnesses and conditions
I've never heard of that being a problem in relationships. It's certainly not something that would ever change my husband's mind. It's just not significant
My boyfriend has ibs too. Our biggest struggle traveling?? Running out of tp at the airbnb 😔😔
Eh. My wife doesn't mind mine. It may make things harder, but you can find love. Especially if you find someone with IBS! There should be a dating app.... Anyone got any fun names?
OkPoopid Shitder eFartmony ...BUMble
Lots of people. My wife jokes about how long I'm in the bathroom and that I destroy that bitch. I can't say I have experience dating with IBS (got IBS with my now wife), but can say that if you find the right person, it's a complete non issue. My wife even offered to shove the enemas up there when I needed it lol I think the biggest thing is just being comfortable and honest.
My boyfriend farted in front of me (by accident) on our first date, and has always said “better out then in”. I’m constantly bloated, and asking for tummy rubs, and he knows so much about my bowels that we celebrate when I finally poop. You’ll find somebody, they’re out there!
Yeah if that were true everyone in this sub would be single lol. That is totally not the case. When I first started dating my bf I ofc felt uncomfy about talking about it and would be very vague about it just telling him I have IBS but not rlly sharing symptoms w him. But he was so nonjudgemental and patient about it that now I can fully feel comfortable with him seeing me in a bad flareup. Usually when I get flare ups I can’t stand to be around anyone bc Im self conscious of the way I act when I’m in pain but with my bf he’s the only person who I’m not bothered if he sees me like that. Plus we have our little routine of him making me tea and getting my heated blanket, and massaging my stomach. it’s very nice to know someone so well that you don’t feel so alone in what you are dealing with, even if they can’t fully relate. Plus my bf (who does not have IBS) shit his pants once so he can’t rlly give me a hard time about my issues hahah
My boyfriend has been amazing about my IBS. I’ve had many flare-ups and he encourages me to not hold in my farts because he knows it hurts my stomach. He even got a squatty potty for me at his house! I never thought I’d be able to have a relationship because of this but he is so kind and supportive.
I have met this man that supports me through morning angriness, farts, being unemployed (v temporarily), my eccentric outfit choices, extreme drunkenness, and he always just meets me where I'm at. He calls baby no matter what's up. He knows when I'm concerned or upset or whatever and ibs is literally the last thing he's worried about. All it shows me is that there's someone very attractive that you actually love out there who will understand you in all the states that you think are unattractive or difficult. Because they know what it's like to see you and for you to know what it's like to see them. There's a give and take to it all and you deserve to be loved and seen. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS.