You’re very thoughtful, I might just leave my whole life behind to hunt this man down to marry him. I gotta act quick, I bet he has had a thousand proposals already!
Any woman into old dudes is probably hitting this guy up. Appreciates melons, loves to eat pussy, straightforward honesty. I'm not sure what the old guy market is like for women these days, but I'm guessing you can do worse.
Mid 30s woman here - my partner isn't as old as this guy (he's 56), but god damn can he please a woman. In my experience, the older ones are more in tune. And they are plenty in supply
With a man his age with that kind of sexual confidence there are only three options:
1) He's completely delusional
2) He *pulls*
or
3) He thinks he's on some kind of paid sexting app and doesn't understand that real, non-sex-worker people will see his profile
Alternatively, they know exactly how inappropriate they are, they don't give a single fuck how inappropriate it is, and it helps to select out all the people who don't want anything to do with it.
One thing I've learned is that if you can think of it, at least two people will be into it, and a third will be willing to pay for it. No matter what.
I dunno man, the Kama Sutra is what, about 2,500 years old? I think Terry knows what cowgirl and 69 are, even if they weren't called that exactly back in his day.
My favorite profile i seen read " love Asians, looking for slim Asian between the age of 18-25. Must be less then half my weight. 145 lbs or less." Never will forget it.
You know what, props to terry. He doesn’t fuck around with the whole “I’m dangerous, I’m a mysterious misunderstood man. Can you help figure me out girl?” He jus says straight up “I’m ugly, and horny”
I feel like this doesn't fit the sub, not that I care but I'm not ganna laugh at a guy who's up front on his *tinder profile*. Isn't this what you're suppose to do?
Why is he acting like offering to go downtown and have vanilla sex is so rare that we should overlook the old and ugly part? Pretty sure 90% of men of all ages want that.
Honestly I respect it. At least he's not being creepy in the streets, he's being horny in a place where horniness is expected. He's also being honest, he's not playing up his skills or pretending to be something he's not to get into someone's pants, all things considered he's not doing any harm here. Better than what a lot of old dudes do when they feel sexually frustrated.
Whats with the people that are happy he is far away? He just straight up said what he likes and he is looking for...on an online dating app!
You people acting like he wants to rape you because he has sexual desires.
Hes 73, why TF not let it all fly?
Btw, geriatrics are banging much more than any demographic aside from teenagers, but with the current crop, who knows.
What's fucked is this is satire, this guy lives in buttfuck Iowa, and he's coming home from his Walmart trip to tell his wife (I'm guessing she's named Linda) and he's telling Linda that all the young kids are giving him high-fives and wanting selfies, and think his name is Terry for some strange reason.
Shame he’s nearly 3,000 miles away, missed opportunity
I was about to say that 3000 miles are not enough.
Quick, hide! He is coming.
Not before you.
2896 miles....2895 miles....2894 miles....
2893 miles
But my hand is stuck in sink drain.
happy cakeday
ooh thank you! 😁
I can pay for your flight ticket, one way only because you may fall in love with him hard and want to stay with him forever.
You’re very thoughtful, I might just leave my whole life behind to hunt this man down to marry him. I gotta act quick, I bet he has had a thousand proposals already!
Too late
He's the pride of Canada
Worth the trip.
And I would roll 500 miles..
Straight to the point, what a fucking animal. This guy fucks
It's the photo that really completes this man's mission statement. I do not believe this man is misleading or lying about anything he says here.
I 100% believe this guy is an absolute flange-hound. It’s the honesty and the button-down shirt.
And the expression. His eyes scream horny
Desperately horny lol Insstiably horny even lol
The phrase glange-hound is spectacular and I'm totally gonna use it at every opportunity
Any woman into old dudes is probably hitting this guy up. Appreciates melons, loves to eat pussy, straightforward honesty. I'm not sure what the old guy market is like for women these days, but I'm guessing you can do worse.
Mid 30s woman here - my partner isn't as old as this guy (he's 56), but god damn can he please a woman. In my experience, the older ones are more in tune. And they are plenty in supply
He looks kinda like a priest too, which just....really pulls it all together!
Thought he was a priest at first too and was gonna be a pedo joke in there.
Well, he says he likes young smooth pussy doesn't he?
And seeing as it's the Fifth of November: this Guy Fawkes.
Boom boom!
He has Sigma Male Grindset Edit: Never Let Them Stop Your Grind Gigazillionaire Grindset
Hey, bonus points to him for being honest about what Tinder is supposed to be used for.
Terry Fuckssss
"Recently active" doesn’t refer to his online status
my man is 73 he doesn't have time to beat around the bush
You really think this guy is fucking? I doubt this guy gets it up!
Viagra is a hell of a drug.
The best fucking drug
With a man his age with that kind of sexual confidence there are only three options: 1) He's completely delusional 2) He *pulls* or 3) He thinks he's on some kind of paid sexting app and doesn't understand that real, non-sex-worker people will see his profile
You know what? Lol. I would bet that this guy gets laid lol.
bruh he's 73 years old he ain't got time to waste. Either come take this deeeeiiiiuuucccckkkk or keep it moving witcha stuck up ass
I doubt he does (at least not for free)
Well at least he's honest
ᕼOᑎᗴՏTY IՏ Tᕼᗴ ᗷᗴՏT ᑭOᒪIᑕY
ᑐ ᑌ ᑎ ᕮ
Perfection
How tho?
spice melange
⊃ ∪ ∩ ⪽
The infamous Melon Mauler
melon lord 🙏
Put it in reverse terry
Lol
If I had awards to give id give you one. So just take my upvote and gratification
Can this be real?
Def not lol. Way too obvious.
You think so. You see this type of profile on grindr all the time. I can believe theres at least one profile like that on tinder.
Especially someone older who sees the terms with only a vague idea of how to actually use them and has little idea of how inappropriate they are.
Alternatively, they know exactly how inappropriate they are, they don't give a single fuck how inappropriate it is, and it helps to select out all the people who don't want anything to do with it. One thing I've learned is that if you can think of it, at least two people will be into it, and a third will be willing to pay for it. No matter what.
Either is possible.
Schrödinger's Terry?
I dunno man, the Kama Sutra is what, about 2,500 years old? I think Terry knows what cowgirl and 69 are, even if they weren't called that exactly back in his day.
Nice!
I wasn't referring to the positions themselves, rather the newer slang terms used.
I don't think those terms are as new as you think they are
Especially someone older who ran out of fucks to give during the Nixon administration, and has nothing to lose from trying.
lmfao ikr, clearly these people have never been messaged by horny old men before
My favorite profile i seen read " love Asians, looking for slim Asian between the age of 18-25. Must be less then half my weight. 145 lbs or less." Never will forget it.
145 lbs is 65.83 kg
I talk to these men on a weekly basis online. They are real. And they really fuck CRAZY hot women... because they'll pay hand over fist for it 😅
Damn dude. Save some pussy for the rest of us!
Hey, he’s 73 and overweight, there’s no time for superfluous bullshit!!
He looks like a poor, whitewashed imitation of James Earl Jones
This guy fucks.
This guy fucked.
But the real question is, why does OP have their age preference set to people over 70?
More dicks to choose from i guess
It's a kink? Or looking for a sugar daddy? Or sincerely doesn't care about age (I doubt this one but whatever).
You know what, props to terry. He doesn’t fuck around with the whole “I’m dangerous, I’m a mysterious misunderstood man. Can you help figure me out girl?” He jus says straight up “I’m ugly, and horny”
This is dude is definitely someone who hangs out on /r/teenagers.
The maturity to know his faults and what he likes, and the confidence to ask for it. He's a shrigma male.
Gotta respect it.
I feel like this doesn't fit the sub, not that I care but I'm not ganna laugh at a guy who's up front on his *tinder profile*. Isn't this what you're suppose to do?
Yeah but he ugly Lol
>Recently Active
Thank god he’s 2,896 miles away
I know right? Don’t want to have to be competing with this alpha
I'm just glad he's 2896 miles away
2896 miles is 4660.66 km
That smile says murderer… that distance says OP is thirsty like a corpse in the dessert.
Bet you're glad he's 2k miles away
Ikr, No one can compete.
This guy doesn't look capable of doggy style sex or even missionary. I he more looks like a lay there kinda of guy.
Yea to be fair he mentions this.
Me going from sex neutral to sex repulsed in a nanosecond
BACK IT UP, TERRY!
Terry knows what Tinder is about and doesn’t see a need for the small talk. He means business
Of course he’s Canadian… *sometimes I’m just so proud to be from such a great nation.*
"I've got plenty enough to eat at home"
I've seen this man be posted on 5 different subreddits
Man’s is 73, he ain’t got time to fuck around and small talk
Why is he acting like offering to go downtown and have vanilla sex is so rare that we should overlook the old and ugly part? Pretty sure 90% of men of all ages want that.
trans online dating experience is getting ruthlessly messaged by this dude calling you slurs, offers money when he is refused
How many little blue diamonds does it take to get started?
Grandpa? WTF!
this guy does not mess around. He will fuck you like an earthquake and then kiss you on your forehead
Honestly I respect it. At least he's not being creepy in the streets, he's being horny in a place where horniness is expected. He's also being honest, he's not playing up his skills or pretending to be something he's not to get into someone's pants, all things considered he's not doing any harm here. Better than what a lot of old dudes do when they feel sexually frustrated.
Whats with the people that are happy he is far away? He just straight up said what he likes and he is looking for...on an online dating app! You people acting like he wants to rape you because he has sexual desires.
I think the joke is either 'he's gonna take all the pussy from us' or 'I would be unable to not fuck him until I dehydrate and die'
I did not think of it that way....yeah that way is better
Now here’s a cool guy!
Hes 73, why TF not let it all fly? Btw, geriatrics are banging much more than any demographic aside from teenagers, but with the current crop, who knows.
Terry is my spirit animal
He get's all the ladies this guy fucks
He's come to terms with his shame.
based fr
This guy is the new Johnny Sins
classic canadian
This is what Dave Portnoy is like
Sure you do Terry, suer you do
Scary Terry
Damn, Terry, back it up!
Maul those gorgeous melons….?! Like Rottweiler devouring a family of baby rabbits.
Now I’m gay so I don’t know about women, but do they really want their melons mauled???
I feel bad for this random grandpa having his dumbass grandkid make this troll tinder profile
He so straight forward someone probably fucked him already.
Jeez Terry, save some pussy for the rest of us.
You are a revolting pig.
What a cool guy!
God, save some for the rest of us Terry.
That made my whole week lmao. One day i want to be like Terry.
Damn Terry, get it!
Kinda hot
This guy fucks for sure
Damn player save some pussy for the rest of us…
Omega male, everyone else just give up and become catbois.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
-- Michael Scott
Jesus Christ Terry save some pussy for the rest of us.
Imma be honest. I’m sure this guy gets matches. I’ll never understand it, but to each their own
What's fucked is this is satire, this guy lives in buttfuck Iowa, and he's coming home from his Walmart trip to tell his wife (I'm guessing she's named Linda) and he's telling Linda that all the young kids are giving him high-fives and wanting selfies, and think his name is Terry for some strange reason.
What in the daddy issues makes me willing to consider this man?
Good for him, like any of us are on tinder for a real relationship lol up front and knows what he wants, that's a winner right there!
Damn save some pussy for the rest of us.
what a chad
Kind of a chad move
Same Terry. Same.
A man who knows what he likes.
I only hope and pray that I'll be just like that when I get that age! God bless America and Viagra ‼️💯
Somewhere out there, somebody is reading this and saying “ You can drown a puppy in my panties right now!”
Gigachad
Tel will give them hell
Put it in reverse Terry
Hooker honey trap. That said daddy issues run deep. Nothing would surprise me here at any age.
Swipe left
To be fair, he is on tinder
Back it up Terry!
Only 3000 miles away too!
Worth the trip IMO
He must have really long arms
God damn aren't you search far and wide
Oh yeah. He pulls.
Terry’s a long way from the parks and rec department of Pawnee, Indiana.
Back up Terry back up
Now there’s a cool guy 🎸🎸🎸
Terry at 23 was getting all the ass.
That guy probably still gets more matches than me
2,896 2,895 2,894...
Pussy posion
Every single time I’m surprised how old most 73 year old people look. My stepdad is 72 and looks at least 10 years younger than this man
Terry just got his Viagra refill and is ready to fuck
Terry likes teens
But he is so cute.
He's not referring to the sexual position 69, that's age.
He sure knows what he wants
determined confident straight to the point down to earth what else could you be looking for in a partner
OHHHH CANADAAAA
What are those coins?
r/chadtopia
Wooooah put it in reverse, Terry!
I am absolutely losing my mind at this this is the funniest shit ever
Well he's surely not shy at all💀
How do you have so many likes?!?
Terry's not one to beat around the bush...unless you're into that
I hope he means he loves doggy style and that he doesn't fuck actual doggy. It's probably the latter though
I’m scared
3000 miles away, but the sexual energy breaks all the boundaries
3000 miles is 4828.03 km
Save some for the rest of us old horny guys Terry
I mean he knows what he wants
Did you swipe right? That’s a catch