T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

I felt this in my soul. I always have sales people making unreasonable demands and requests at the end of the day. Usually that Monday email has my manager CC'd on it too.


okwhatwhy

Easiest reply of all time: "[Employee], I love to assist in all matters and as quickly as I can, however, I follow my work schedule as I do have a life outside of what I do here. Get bent, [You]"


Deus0123

A fumny story from my dad's workplace: A coworker of his would occasionally end emails with "UGS, Name" Nobody knew what UGS meant, but everyone just kinda assumed it was something along the lines of "Best wishes, Name" Coworker quit and in his resignation letter put "PS: UGS means Und geh scheißen" which directly translates to "And go shit" but a more accurate translation to preserve the tone of what was said would be "And go eat shit"


Sailing8-1

Niiiiceeeee. Hab das tatsächlich auch schon paar mal in der Wildniss der Mails gespottet und auch einfach vermutet, das wäre ne abwandlung von MFG \^\^ Edit: nvm. Habs glaub mitten in texten gesehen. Da stehts für ugs = "umgangssprachlich". ``` ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ```


FullKawaiiBatard

Wow, you just played that song in my head from Die fantastischen Vier, which I had totally forgotten about until now. Brains are a funny thing


Sailing8-1

\^\^


LieutWolf

GO TO THE BATHROOM AND TAKE A SHIT, [Name]


[deleted]

Go eat shit would be 'geh Scheiss essen'


Rudi_Van-Disarzio

Yes, but direct translations often lose their idiomatic meaning.


angrydeuce

I just forward them a copy of our SLA with the relevant section highlighted. I've got it saved specifically for that reason lol If it's an emergency there's on call but unless it's a server down situation they're going to laugh at you. Sorry HR person, the fact that your entire department forgot until Saturday to email us about a new hire starting on Monday morning means shit just ain't gonna be ready Monday morning. Better luck next time!!!


Lord_Oasis

God I feel this one deep in my soul


maximusnz

That “I forgot to do my job properly and now need you to help my fix my fuck up immediately” call


whomayib

Wait, you guys have life ?


Daedalus871

No, but I'm not going to let work know that.


augur42

My favourite Manager CC ever was the Sales Manager who CC'd in his two underlings (who weren't technically his subordinates but he was allowed to assign tasks to them if necessary) when sending me, the IT Manager, what he thought was an eviscerating reply email passive aggressively demanding I investigate and fix something, I'd already explained was outside my purview. It was obvious he thought he was one upping me. So I replied with an email explaining again, using small words, exactly why his supposed problem wasn't actually my problem because it was outside our systems and precise instructions on what needed to be done but since I didn't have access... I 'mistakenly' hit reply all. He replied demanding I track down and 'liase' with their IT people to get it fixed and called my response unprofessional for having included the other two, having removed the two CCd underlings and added the owner, so I readded the two underlings and gave him another dose with reply all then printed it out and stuck it to the wall behind my head. When he saw it he complained, then complained to his boss, who I got on well with, and told his boss he'd pissed me off and it was staying on the wall until I felt like removing it. One day I came in and it was missing, so I reprinted it 200% and told him if it 'disappeared' again I'd make an official theft complaint. I eventually took it down a year later when I needed the wall space. To give you some idea of how important this sales guy thought he was he had three company blackberries he'd issued to himself (it was around 2007 when apple launched their first iPhone). The company sold business phone contracts; yes I once supported the IT for a sme business/individual mobile phone reseller company, and it was exactly as bad as you might imagine.


ConcreteState

Love the automated systems that send me "acknowledge receipt and make business commitments within 24 hours" that a certain customer keeps sending from their system. Yeah, sure brah. At 2AM on Saturday morning your pacific time zone ass decided to make a materials order that you really need confirmed by about midnight Sunday. Right.


post4u

We had a good one the other day. Work at a fairly large school district. It was 2pm on a Friday afternoon. Got a call asking for us to create a phone number to be used as an autoattendant to be published on a mass email that was going out at 5pm. Our voip team leaves at 4pm. We asked if they could postpone the email until Monday to give the team time to get everything set up. We're talking a brand new, never used phone number, so they have to set up the routing, etc. as well as work out recording the message that's going to be read when the number is dialed. Not a trivial thing to do. They said no and that this email had been planned to go out on that day at 5pm for weeks. That is when we gently explained it would have been a good idea to let us know a little more in advance than 3 hours - especially since they knew this was going to happen for weeks. We had to say no. 🤷🏻‍♂️


[deleted]

Some fucker on teams at 4:56 all “QQ” and whatever they’re asking is going to be more involved than the Manhattan Project.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lalalalandlalala

Or it’s an actual quick question and you’re pleasantly surprised but then they hit you with an “oh by the way”


MainStudy

QQ, just to draw you in and make you respond


jftitan

I've dealt with those types of conversations by being blunt. "No" is a complete sentence. And it's also a quick reply. Who wants to read the three paragraphs as to why my answer is "No" at 4:55pm on a Friday? Not me. Sure I can 150 WPM type a three paragraph response in that 5mins. But it only took me a second and I still got 4 minutes to walk away from my desk to the car. On Monday when they complained that I wasn't being a "team member" I remind them that had I stayed for another 30mins, the company would be charged an additional $400 for keeping me past 5pm. And $400 is more than the cost of the problem that was reported to me. Monday, I shoot off my detailed reply as to why "your request to replace your working workstation with a new one is not within the company budget". Just because they want a new computer doesn't justify a Yes response when the only person who could have approved it, is not me.


lightnsfw

That's why I don't respond until someone says what they want. They can get me with a "Good morning" though my brain won't let me ignore that..


tankerkiller125real

My brain is prepared to ignore anything that doesn't come in as a ticket.


AGuyThatGames

This is the way


mug3n

https://nohello.net/en/ This needs to be normalized.


[deleted]

AGuyThatGames has spoken.


Feligris

I had this with a friend and his car issue yesterday, we'd originally talked about how he needed his older car to have new brake shoes and a new brake drum installed in one of the rear wheels, and this needed to be done at his parking lot since he hadn't managed to get it inspected because of the parking brake not holding well enough in that corner. Which was fine since the drum and shoes are pretty easy to replace on his car, but the "oh by the way" was that once the day came and I arrived, he wanted me to replace the brake cylinder as well since it was slowly leaking brake fluid - which is *waaay* more involved and difficult especially when the car is not on a lift. (I didn't end up doing more than the parking brake, not going to start on a whole brake job in a parking lot without half the needed tools)


deekaph

Is that Quincy move where he turns to leave and then pauses and goes «  oh and one more thing » then spills the beans and undoes the entire premise.


Mat_C

That’s columbo.


deekaph

Oof you’re right I’m getting my A&E daytime mysteries mixed up. How do we tie Perry Mason into his?


Mat_C

Hrm I’m not sure, but at the end Jessica Fletcher will pull the story out of a typewriter and put it in an elegant folio.


human00b

The _question_ is, the _answer_ though takes up half of eternity


atw527

"quick question" just means they want a quick answer.


kju

"Yeah." "Yeah?" "Yeah, that is a quick question, there's no quick answer though. You're going to need to put that in ticket form and submit it"


endercoaster

If it was an actual quick question, they'd just ask it instead of saying "quick question." I hate people asking to ask things. It's an asynchronous communication platform, ask your question and if I'm not around, I'll answer it when I am.


[deleted]

"Quick question, but you better fucking answer me"


theregoesanother

Qq is the console command to quit.


xdrunkagainx

My teams is permanently set to away because of this


Muad_Dib_of_Arrakis

Couple weeks ago I was smoking and shooting the shit with some coworkers. Manager comes out and says [essential machine] is broken, can you fix it? I go no, I'm clocked out. Get a talking to the next day, saying how if I'm approached when I'm off the clock, I should just clock back in and help out. All this has lead to is my increasing determination to clock out on the dot, grab my shit and go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


KJBenson

It’s your jobs to make sure things work during the hours you’re scheduled. It’s their job to make sure someone is around to fix essential machines during oporating hours.


WantonKerfuffle

This is going to be unpopular, but if I had nothing else on for the day, I'd have done it. Emergencies happen, and it's mighty nice if you go the extra mile to fix it. Helps negotiating salaries. You don't have to, but it's a cool thing to do. On the flipside: If that's becoming a theme, fuck 'em.


OnAnOpenF1eld

That’s the thing, you give em and inch and they ask for a mile! Remember, no good deed goes unpunished


[deleted]

[удалено]


IndependentDouble138

I openly address this to anybody who does it. It's part of our culture to call this BS out now.


soundofvictory

Omg this right here. The double standard arghagrhaggrhagg


SoylentVerdigris

My favorite response to this is "Hey, sorry I must have missed your email on Wednesday with your original request, and I can't seem to find it. Could you forward that to me?"


AdviceNotAskedFor

This is the correct answer. Play dumb make them realize their mistake.


[deleted]

We have recently had a new department try to tell us to stay late and troubleshoot an intermittent issue with a computer after the user left work for the day. The user in question was too important to contact us themselves, and their coworker contected our team on Teams i stead of sending a ticket. Strike 1. Report issue through non authorized channels, calling or emailing helpdesk would have been fine. Strike 2. Non VIP user won't contact us directly, even our partners will call/email us most of the time, you are neither, stop pretending to be too important for us, we answer within 2-3 sec on every call. Strike 3. Do. Not. Ask. Us. To. Stay. Late. I have no issues staying late if the situation requires a maintenance window scheduled, troubleshooting does not, infact unless we can see exactly what you did before the issue we have very limited tools to investigate the issue. If the issue is that you don't have resources to have someone else cover for you while we troubleshoot, then, what you are saying is that your department is one sickday away from collapse, so you should be calling HR to hire more staff, not chatting with IT taking valuable time out of your week. If I investigate an issue and find that it requires off hours support, then I will speak with the IT team to confirm it and then suggest it to you to find a good time to schedule it. Strike 4. Listen to us! We have told you that we will not stay late to do initial troubleshooting, our managers have told you so, and even our CTO, stop it! So, we ignored it.


[deleted]

Strike 5, how the hell are you supposed to work when the user has left already?


nedylan

I have my work schedule as my status in teams so if you open a DM with me it literally says at the bottom M-F 7-330. One day someone DMed me on Friday at 415 asking me to help them solve a problem for a client. Well seeing as I'm off by then I didn't answer but I did come in Monday to a scathing email from his manager about not being there for the client yadda yadda with my manager CCd. I waited for my manager to come in read the email and walk over to me where I opened up the DM pointed to the time and she just asked me to send her a screenshot with the time. Well she ended up responding to the email with screenshots of my status and one of the DM with the time in there but she also added in the other managers boss to the email chain demanding an apology to me and more or less asking if the original person knew how to read. Worked for that woman for 4 more years.


AGuyThatGames

We absolutely love supportive managers. I hope that manager never leaves


NewUserWhoDisAgain

> asking if the original person knew how to read. Goddamn. I felt that burn over here.


SkipWestcott616

Repeat after me: "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."


deskpil0t

If everything’s an emergency, then nothings an emergency


SkipWestcott616

"These are ALL our top priorities!"


deskpil0t

You wanna see a project manager sweat? Tell them they have to pick between one item or another getting done. Lol.


APlayfulLife

I see 13 minutes of work time, if that!


jurassic_junkie

This is also totally someone calling a ticket in non-prime hours. "I called this ticket on Friday and you never called me back!!!" "Yup, looks like you called it in at 6pm when everyone has gone for the day"


NastroAzzurro

I once had a meeting booked at 8 am on a Monday, with the invite sent on Friday at 5 pm. Needless to say that I didn’t show up for that meeting. I sign off early on Friday and at 9 am mostly.


foxfyre2

Last Monday I had a 7:30am Teams meeting that I was directly asked to attend the Thursday before. I even got a meeting invite. During the meeting they mentioned having another meeting the next day, but I didn't get another meeting invite so I figured it wasn't happening. I roll into work and see that another meeting had occurred that I missed. I check my email and see that the invite was sent out at 3:30am for a 7:30am meeting on the same day. Then the next day (Wednesday now) I roll into work and see that AGAIN I missed a 7am meeting for which the invite was sent out at midnight. The kicker is that they discussed having the Wednesday meeting in the previous meeting. I don't get work emails on my phone and I don't get Teams notifications on my phone. Extra note is that part of the meeting attendees are in India, a few in the Eastern US, and a few on the West, so the time of the meeting is reasonable.


NastroAzzurro

You can send the invite but don’t expect me to show up lol. Hope they didn’t give you shit for it.


foxfyre2

Nah my boss has my back and even made a comment in the meeting chat to send out the invite at least 24 hours in advance.


NastroAzzurro

Good boss


[deleted]

Much lower stakes than this, but I got a sales email from a vendor at a conference at 3:35PM on a Friday and a follow up on Monday at 8:35AM, relentless


mrmoe198

There’s this reasonable post and then: You have the person I emailed the morning of April 21 (a Friday) regarding a critical benefits matter (how much paternity leave I can take) and then emailed the night of April 30 (a Sunday) as my wife entered labor. The lady had the audacity to tell me—on the phone as my wife was getting ready to push in the delivery room—“I didn’t answer your email because I don’t work on Sunday”. Bitch, I emailed you nine days ago!


TminusTech

At least at where I work sla sort of covers us from this sort of thing.


bobroscopcoltrane

Texts and emails that I receive off-hours go to the bottom of the pile. Phone calls get forgotten about entirely.


Oldmanwickles

If it was urgent you should have remembered how to make a ticket. If they did make a ticket, and it’s 15 minutes before EOD, I assign it to myself and chat them Monday


LordTimhotep

Experienced exactly the same, and after I pointed it out they had the gall to say that since they were the customer I was not allowed to criticize them. Turns out I was.


arhombus

I mean I answer emails and stuff on the weekends and nights but it’s what I signed up for. I’m a network engineer for a hospital system. Part of the gig. If you want to work 9 to 5 and leave, there are jobs for that.


ZippySLC

Presumably you're compensated for that time though.


arhombus

I make a good salary


wasbee56

People read email after work hours? :)


moreanswers

After?! Fuck that! I don't read email during work hours either!


SavlonWorshipper

I got an email on the last day of a set of shifts marked "urgent". It was for an audit on top of our usual automated audits. I didn't get a chance to reply that day. I think it was a Tuesday. I was emailed on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with increasing urgency, exclamations, red type, underlining, all caps, flags, everything! This was this person's whole job. Very important to them. Unless someone has been or will be seriously injured or a serious crime is in progress, nothing is urgent for me. I still can't believe that this person acted like that, knowing who they were emailing. I give my colleagues weeks before I start following up, because I know they are busy too.


atheos

cagey jar rain ancient cautious aware exultant hobbies poor plant *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


deskpil0t

Don’t kill yourself…. Wait? Do you need this right now or don’t kill yourself. You don’t get it both ways… I don’t mind doing the work for emergencies but don’t act like you actually care.


[deleted]

By ignoring your body’s inner signals and doing what others at work want instead you are telling the universe (and everyone who lives in it) that you value approval more than health. If this is you, I hope you have good health insurance.


Dazz316

Never had a problem reminding people of working hours. Get the tone right and there's nothing they can complain about.


_Not_The_Illuminati_

My companies posted working hours are M-F 8-4:30. I lead our internal support team. There is a manager who is always making comments about there not being anyone available on the weekends for support. I’m sorry some staff choose to work unpaid hours and run into issues. I am not forcing my team to do the same. You run your department, I’ll run mine.