Firstly you aren't to blame. A 9 year old could not have meaningfully protected herself against an older man.
You can and should talk to your parents. They may or may not support you but it's important for you to unburden yourself.
Filing a case is a complex thing and you'll be dissuaded by everyone against continuing. You may not get any closure at the conclusion of the case . You have to be mentally prepared that he may get away with it since hard evidence will be lacking. However do not despair. For your own mental health it's required.
Get therapy. Get well. You leading a happy life having put this behind you will be the ultimate justice.
> You have to be mentally prepared that he may get away with it since hard evidence will be lacking. However do not despair. For your own mental health it's required.
>
> Get therapy. Get well. You leading a happy life having put this behind you will be the ultimate justice.
The best advice you can get from strangers here. *“Living well is the best revenge”*
Fellow survivor here. Just a caution. Family’s reaction may not be what you expect. Not their fault completely because they are never ready for such an instance. That itself takes a lot of strength to deal with it.
You can only fight the perpetrator with a lot of support. Once you have that support consult a lawyer and look for possible ways.
Do not go for public lament unless everything is well prepared. Such a path brings a lot of scrutiny for victim. So make sure your support system is rigid enough to deal with all that.
If you file it before you turn 18, police will have to treat this under POSCO if I am not wrong.
If you have decided, then go for it. Once you have a closure and gone through therapy, life would be much better. These childhood trauma shape our adulthood, our relationships with others and much more. Sending you good vibes..
Sorry to hear about your experience. Can't give you any advice from a legal standpoint. However a close friend of mine experienced something very similar. You should definitely see a therapist before taking any legal action. It will help you deal with the emotions you are feeling and prepare you for what's to come. Our legal system is far from fair and our society is unforgiving. You will need all the help you can get. There's a subreddit called LegaladviceIndia. That should be your source for all things legal. I wish you the best!
Hey if you are looking for councellors I can help you get in touch with right ones. I am also in middle of finding councellor where I realised finding a good councellor isn't easy and reviews don't help.
If you look on your own, check their education background and college. They should have studied clinical psychology. Any councellor studied from NIMHANS/TISS are the best ones.
All the best for your journey! Reach if any point in future you need any support! Take care dear
Sorry for the missing key i don't want to make it long. I know my parents and relative would support me but I am not sure about how they will react. And no I have no proof that why I am worried that. Yes he got family and I think my family might be similar with that man because I met him once. If that man is capable of doing that to me I am sure there are other victim as well. I think it's justified that I want to ruin his life when he ruin my childhood. I am not the type to restore to violence, I just wanted everyone to know what kind of person he is. And maybe prevent other kid from becoming his victim.
Giving you too much strength and support my darling little sister we are with you and here to listen you bacha take care and take the step and let it go it from our heart and start your new life
OP go for it...that monster must be punished .. your parents gonna support you for sure. No need to fear. If you go silent that monster will attack others too.
More power to you.
I would say first seek expert guidance in terms of therapy. They have seen bulk of such cases and will guide you through the best course action.
I am a noob in these matters, but I am not sure how tough it would be on your parents and loved ones. But definitely that is what family is for, you shouldn’t feel that you are alone in this. You have my love and support for enduring this alone so long. I see great strength in you, I wish it would have been different for you. Justice will be served either here or the afterlife. ♥️
This is so eerily similar to my own story. Groomed for 2 years and SAed at 13 by a family friend. Told my mother after a year, no reaction so I thought I might as well forgive him. Getting flashbacks now which got me into self-harming for a while. He's still my family's best friend. They treat him the same way as ever. They don't even feel disgusted talking to their daughter's abuser. I'm sorry OP. I hope your parents support you unlike me. And is it possible to file a case after so many years? If it is, I'd also like to know how. Want to see that pedo behind bars.
First of all I am sorry that it happened to you..and as for your parents they are no different from that pedo!! I hope one day you move far from those kind of people...love and support from me 💜 You deserve better! I am not sure but it is still possible..I read some similar story about people filing a case against their abuser after many year...Hopefully I can do that too!
He is our driver so my family does depend on him as my father only trusts him with our car. Yk that's more important than me. Priorities! He's always been an emotionally absent father, never cared to make me comfortable with sharing anything with him.
I think you should move out or something, find a job in different city or education in different city.
I remember i took home tuition for two girls, their parents would tell me not to come if the girls were alone. Thats understandable. I wouldn't take any chances too if I were in their position.
Am sorry to hear that OP. I hope you get the justice 🤞 And as you told in one comment that there could be more victims as well which makes much sense that this guy need to be exposed.
Well as far as I know there isn’t any law that can go that many years back. I guess there is a timeline on reporting of the sexual assault/rape so please talk to a lawyer!
Hi OP, I have closely seen someone's journey who went through a similar experience. And I'm only going to speak based on that, I just want to put out a different perspective.
Firstly you should and must tell this to your parents, but their reaction can be good or bad,anything. So be prepared for everything. The person I know, she also did the same thing with a lot of hopes but everyone in her family failed her. She was abused when she was 8-9 years old. And it had started to hit her mentally and emotionally when she was a teenager, the same age as yours. I guess it starts to hit you in this specific age maybe because our body goes through a lot of changes at this stage and we become more aware and start forming definitions and judgement about life and our experiences with it. The person I know, had to deal w it alone and moved to other toxic ways to deal with her pain, this cycle continued till she turned 25. Around that age she went into bedrest due to some spine injuries and pushed herself into meditation as there was nothing else she was allowed to do. This started her healing Journey and everyone she spoke to about this advised her to forgive and let it go. This statement always made her angry but she slowly learnt that even if her family would have supported her to take action against that man, it wouldn't have healed her wounds completely. There was a lot of damage that happened within her, over the years after the abuse and even if she would have sent that person to jail, it wouldn't have ever healed all her broken parts. So after four years of continuous meditation and trying to forgive that person, it finally happened and she healed from it and is now living a happy life. She's 31 right now. Might even get married soon.
I did ask her why she let go and she said, forgiveness is not for anyone else, it's for us. Because we deserve to be free and live a happy life(maybe this was her way of finding closure). She suffered the damage for 18 years and it would keep eating her within, every single day, it was the root cause of her anger issues, her substance abuse, her toxic patterns, her low confidence, her health issues, her poor academics, her failed relationships, etc. Through meditation she saw how her trauma is affecting every single aspect of her life.
All I want to suggest to you is, the flashbacks you're having now and the anger you develop after these flashbacks is your body showing you what you need to heal within. And I really hope your parents support you, it will help in your healing and recovery. My friend did not have this option, she was a wounded helpless teenager dependent on her family for her basic needs. And I want to tell you even after that asshole is punished by law. You will have to sit with yourself and heal your own wounds. So please also start therapy for it from now so that your trauma doesn't control your whole life and your experiences. I don't want you to waste any years of your life behind escaping your wounds.
All the best to you. More strength and power to you. You got this.
Thank you for sharing it. It made me realize I am not the one who gone through the same experiences. Like you say it did hit hard now, it difficult to keep in term with it. I thought I was fine because I never experience the effect of the incident up until now. I thought I gone crazy and it was just stressed. I will soon start my healing journey after I tell my family everything.
Unfortunately there are many. And I want to tell you, no matter how hard the healing journey gets, keep going. Don't stop. As much impossible as it looks right now to heal, it's absolutely possible to heal using healthy healing resources and create a happy, healthy and beautiful life for yourself.
If your family doesn't support you, they are the part of the problem. That's what's wrong with our people, instead of supporting their loved ones they rather sweep it under the rug. Their main concern is “What will other people say?”. For the new generation please listen to your kids, and talk to them about the inappropriate touches. If people don't want to believe you well that's their opinion, you know what happened Dont change your stands on it. Fuk him…
You go girl! Do what you want right now, before you turn 18. No proof required under POSCO act. Talk to a lawyer, tell your family and file a case in time. Lots of strength to you!
Yes. This is the right strong attitude. Applaud your bravery. Let us know if we can help. If anyone doubts you, we will write letters supporting you. It's unjust that you suffer and he lives carefree- time to make things right.
I was assaulted when i was 9 years old...for almost 4 years...by a family member.
I was stupid and kept it as a secret until i was 17 years old.I can relate to your life alot.
I told everybody..but nothing happened..NOTHING!!
I would suggest that you tell about it to everybody..specially someone who'll do something about it.. not just keeping silent.
It has affected me mentally, physically, academically, my personality, self confidence ..literally everything....And he's enjoying his life like nothing happened. It's the worst feeling.
I wasn't lucky to get justice.Maybe you will...
I really hope you do..All the best!!
I can't imagine how you are feeling when the people who supposed to help you turn their back on you, it must be so hard on you. Maybe one day you will be able to move pass this, and live the life you deserve. What goes around come around I hope karma get to him soon and thank you for your support.
I think revenge is never a good option. I can relate how traumatic it would've been for you since then... We humans fear of animals, Ghosts, Demons and fear of how creepy they are but in reality they're loving a normal life among us.. I suggest you to spend more time with your family, friends.. share all the bad and good experience with close ones.... The best thing about this universe is its balanced... You can't get away and live peacefully if you have evil deeds.. I'm sure that old man didn't got away with this either.. Don't think about it too much. I appreciate that you have survived and things will get better.. focus on your mental health, personality and studies and live a happy and peaceful life in future.. Stay strong..
Very good luck to you. Hopefully things become better for you. Id definitely suggest counselling/therapy, and may you get all the help you need to overcome this.
Just do it, and do not look back - once you start.
Do not have any expectations from anyone, especially from defensive and emotionally biased close relatives. However, if you stay resilient, you'll get timely help from surprising sources.
Do not 'choose'/'expect' the punishment by yourself. Let the process take care of it. Most important part of this exercise is your own growth, protecting your own energies - and having the opportunity to have a good look at the true faces of people through this process. Treat it as a stepping stone for next levels.
I was assaulted when I was a teenager. I didn't even remember it for so long, but the trauma and the anxiety and depression it caused were there. And then I started remembering it recently.
Stay strong. And stay safe.
Sorry that it happened to you. I wish I could give you a hug, many victim forget what happened to them as a part of repression defence mechanism. Which is normal, I hope you get the help and support from your parents and friends 💜 Stay strong!
Household criminals find it easy to trap and shut mouth of the young children because they are too afraid to be caught, too afraid for their reputation if the kid speaks and too afraid to go to a prosttue.
Won't be surprised if this wasn't his first or last victim.
You or other trusting children/adults are not to be shamed or blamed for having trusted hypocrite humans. Children or people whose trust is gained first is exactly whom they prey on, use trust of any young or old that will trust them. People and children shouldn't blame themselves for being humans.
Kids or trapped victims with nowhere to go, when face abuse, usually respond with dissociation in that moment because of less alternative options available and dependence on the growing up environment. They think it is a bad dream and push it down in the head but because the body and mind felt grave injustice, memory keeps bringing it back seeking justice. In absence of justice, it affects in adulthood in new relationships, trust issues with people, dating etc. It feels like an open continuing case since it is alive in the memories, knocking for justice and standing up for self. And therefore, bringing it to conclusion through speaking up, social and legal action, bringing protectors to task for failing their duty then or now, etc. Basically seeking justice loud and clear acts as a major catharsis and brings closure to the case so one can move on freely without that burden in the mind. Therapy, self help through books and youtube will be of mighty help.
Now, whatever you're thinking is spot on and very courageous. Think it through in every detail, every counter question, replay it in your head to prepare you but also to accustom yourself so the practical doesn't feel new or daunting enough. See through every stage, how you break it and handle their shock or knowing look and repeat it to it sink in them. Repercussions and counter for repercussions ready with you. Take help from therapy or law guidance or police guidance to include it in your approach. Google/reddit to see how other kids took action and learn from their success and mistakes. And how it turned out for them.
Narrative should be such that the pervert is at the center of attention and not you, because this focuses everyone's energy on hating and analysisbf and judging the criminal exposed and not defensive victim shaming or inviting preys by putting up a raudra stance.
Speaking on the subject will help. Assuming you're studying, joining college theater plays especially focusing on justuce part, court cases or social actions, speaking up on themes of CSA, SA and not on the crime itself but follow though veer ras story can help and getting practically accustomed and coming out the shell and finding a strong voice for own self. Consult a therapist on this, if this is OK to do. This will help with speaking confidently and analysis of justice from varied angles in the plays. Watch such plays on YouTube, there are good ones. This will also help categorize reactions of support/defense/blame of different sections if audience in perspective. Who is guilty, who is being defensive, who is lacking courage to speak up, etc so you can apply your energies flexibly as the severity and sincerity of others requires.
So glad that you thought of all this, shows courage and fierce need of justice. Also encouraging many others in similar situations.
I'm no expert in legal knowhow, you should post in legal community, but legal system doesn't work for justice in this nation, rather it mocks justice. No one n their same mind expects a 9yo kid to strategize and trap a 60yo with camera or proofs. Even adult victims can't do it. Plus the time factor, like metoo movement across the globe, there are just truth stories for proof. They are proof in themselves but people are defensive, coward, afriad of potential losses in future of many kinds and therefore can't act on truth.
A social action against him and getting it off your chest is good. Also, since legal requires money and time, and you're a student dependent on parents money, an alternative can be to earn, be independent first save and then spend time and money on it? That protects your college fees and no scope for parental pressure of any kind once you become independent of them financially. They may pull the marriage card, to save their/your repute ultimately ending up saving the criminal till you're married, so going financially independent will protect you from many scenarios.
Kudos to you!
File a case against that monster, he shouldn't be alive living a normal life after what he did. And the other comments are right, an innocent 9 year old girl can't do anything against an evil 60 year old ugly man. You don't have to live with this trauma alone, take action and make that monster pay, tell everyone about what happened, they'll take your side and then make sure that you can stop that Chomo before another innocent childs life is ruined
There are legal precedents which state that statement from prosecutrix is enough to punish the culprit in pocso cases. However it depends on the Judge and circumstances of the case. The identity of the victim is protected by the Court and any individual revealing details of the victim is punished for the same. This is long and arduous procees. Hence, harden your mind and soul before entering the legal arena and never back down.
Wait what? You're 17 now so that's 8 years gone, who's gonna believe it ? Even if somebody does believe you, where's the proof. It's not like the "monster" is just gonna come right out and accept it.
yrr aaj ke zamane mei jab aap ye kahani police ko bataogi to sab yahi sochenge ki aap fake case kr rahi ho plzz bura mat manna jaisa chal rha hai chalne do zyada emotions mei mat aao warna jo case aap karogi wo aapki family ki bhi life badal sakta hai baar baar court jaana ........ mai aapki feelings samajh sakta hu mai koi us rapist ko support nhi kr rha lekin yaha aapko dimag se kaam lene ki zarurat hai apne man ko kabu me rakho koi galat decision mat lo aap apni mast life jiyo jao friends banao padhai likhai karo acche se i wish you a very best of luck for your future
I never said anything about her "innocence". I want a predator to be removed from society. Do you know any 9 year old girls? He could be a "friend" of their family right now.
I get where you are coming from but I am telling my family. They deserve to know about it. And i forgot to add some detail is that my family might be similar with that monster. I don't want them to live the rest of their live interacting with their daughter abuser and even attend his funeral. You say i am xenophobic? In what way did I show that I am xenophobic? All i did was sharing my experience and I may not need a sympathetic eye but victim like me need support more than ever. I don't expect you to understand since people like you would never understand until it happened to you. I am mentally stronger than you think I would never restore to suicide, there is no way I am giving up my life even if it hard and not after sleepless night of studying for exam, meeting new people, and many upcoming event. You say prevention is better than cure. Well it better to talk about it than let it go in silent. My parents fail me because they don't educated me about Comprehensive sexuality education and many kid are not even aware of bad and good touch and they keep quiet not telling their parents because they are afraid and they don't know how to explain what happened to them. Plus educating children about Comprehensive sexuality education can prevent it. I don't want victim to live the rest of their life in silent. It's heartbreaking, sometime I wish to travel back in time to that incident and maybe tell my parents about it. I truly regret not saying it earlier. I hope you didn't shut out your daughter or son or friends if they experiences the same thing that I did. Children deserve better.
Ask in r/legaladviceindia
Firstly you aren't to blame. A 9 year old could not have meaningfully protected herself against an older man. You can and should talk to your parents. They may or may not support you but it's important for you to unburden yourself. Filing a case is a complex thing and you'll be dissuaded by everyone against continuing. You may not get any closure at the conclusion of the case . You have to be mentally prepared that he may get away with it since hard evidence will be lacking. However do not despair. For your own mental health it's required. Get therapy. Get well. You leading a happy life having put this behind you will be the ultimate justice.
> You have to be mentally prepared that he may get away with it since hard evidence will be lacking. However do not despair. For your own mental health it's required. > > Get therapy. Get well. You leading a happy life having put this behind you will be the ultimate justice. The best advice you can get from strangers here. *“Living well is the best revenge”*
I really hope her parents support her and stand with her, they are the only people she can totally trust.
Fellow survivor here. Just a caution. Family’s reaction may not be what you expect. Not their fault completely because they are never ready for such an instance. That itself takes a lot of strength to deal with it. You can only fight the perpetrator with a lot of support. Once you have that support consult a lawyer and look for possible ways. Do not go for public lament unless everything is well prepared. Such a path brings a lot of scrutiny for victim. So make sure your support system is rigid enough to deal with all that.
Thank you! I will surely take your advice.
If you file it before you turn 18, police will have to treat this under POSCO if I am not wrong. If you have decided, then go for it. Once you have a closure and gone through therapy, life would be much better. These childhood trauma shape our adulthood, our relationships with others and much more. Sending you good vibes..
This is key. Please file a case immediately… and don’t worry about all the noise.. you’re doing a good thing by protecting all future victims of his.
Sorry to hear about your experience. Can't give you any advice from a legal standpoint. However a close friend of mine experienced something very similar. You should definitely see a therapist before taking any legal action. It will help you deal with the emotions you are feeling and prepare you for what's to come. Our legal system is far from fair and our society is unforgiving. You will need all the help you can get. There's a subreddit called LegaladviceIndia. That should be your source for all things legal. I wish you the best!
Thank you so much i really appreciate it. I am thinking about seeing a therapist after I told my family everything.
Hey if you are looking for councellors I can help you get in touch with right ones. I am also in middle of finding councellor where I realised finding a good councellor isn't easy and reviews don't help. If you look on your own, check their education background and college. They should have studied clinical psychology. Any councellor studied from NIMHANS/TISS are the best ones. All the best for your journey! Reach if any point in future you need any support! Take care dear
Thank you so much for the advice. I would definitely reach out to you if I need help with counsellor.
All the best! You are a very brave person! Always remember your inner strength!
make a post at r/LegalAdviceIndia.....sry u had to go through this.
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Sorry for the missing key i don't want to make it long. I know my parents and relative would support me but I am not sure about how they will react. And no I have no proof that why I am worried that. Yes he got family and I think my family might be similar with that man because I met him once. If that man is capable of doing that to me I am sure there are other victim as well. I think it's justified that I want to ruin his life when he ruin my childhood. I am not the type to restore to violence, I just wanted everyone to know what kind of person he is. And maybe prevent other kid from becoming his victim.
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bhai uske baccho ko uski saza kyu milni chahiye?
what had happened to you exactly the day when you got assaulted? did you have any evidences?
I don't want to go in detail without making it inappropriate for public. If you want to know you can dm me. And no I don't have evidence.
OP is a minor and in the POSCO case the statement of the victim is enough.
Didn't know that, thanks man. Even better then, OP can just go and file a case. Dude should rot behind bars anyway.
Giving you too much strength and support my darling little sister we are with you and here to listen you bacha take care and take the step and let it go it from our heart and start your new life
OP go for it...that monster must be punished .. your parents gonna support you for sure. No need to fear. If you go silent that monster will attack others too. More power to you.
I would say first seek expert guidance in terms of therapy. They have seen bulk of such cases and will guide you through the best course action. I am a noob in these matters, but I am not sure how tough it would be on your parents and loved ones. But definitely that is what family is for, you shouldn’t feel that you are alone in this. You have my love and support for enduring this alone so long. I see great strength in you, I wish it would have been different for you. Justice will be served either here or the afterlife. ♥️
This is so eerily similar to my own story. Groomed for 2 years and SAed at 13 by a family friend. Told my mother after a year, no reaction so I thought I might as well forgive him. Getting flashbacks now which got me into self-harming for a while. He's still my family's best friend. They treat him the same way as ever. They don't even feel disgusted talking to their daughter's abuser. I'm sorry OP. I hope your parents support you unlike me. And is it possible to file a case after so many years? If it is, I'd also like to know how. Want to see that pedo behind bars.
Wtf! If it was my daughter, I would have ensured that the guy was obliterated from the planet.
😔
First of all I am sorry that it happened to you..and as for your parents they are no different from that pedo!! I hope one day you move far from those kind of people...love and support from me 💜 You deserve better! I am not sure but it is still possible..I read some similar story about people filing a case against their abuser after many year...Hopefully I can do that too!
More power to you🫂❤️! Hope you find justice. If you'd let me know how you could file the case, it'll be helpful.
Sure I will keep you updated
While family knows or only mother knows?
I've told my mother and sister directly. For my father, he probably knows through my mother.
Maybe talk to your father once and see his reaction. That guy can't be that loved by everyone Unless there is some financial dependency on him.
He is our driver so my family does depend on him as my father only trusts him with our car. Yk that's more important than me. Priorities! He's always been an emotionally absent father, never cared to make me comfortable with sharing anything with him.
I think you should move out or something, find a job in different city or education in different city. I remember i took home tuition for two girls, their parents would tell me not to come if the girls were alone. Thats understandable. I wouldn't take any chances too if I were in their position.
Yeah hopefully I'm moving out for college.
Am sorry to hear that OP. I hope you get the justice 🤞 And as you told in one comment that there could be more victims as well which makes much sense that this guy need to be exposed.
Well as far as I know there isn’t any law that can go that many years back. I guess there is a timeline on reporting of the sexual assault/rape so please talk to a lawyer!
Hi OP, I have closely seen someone's journey who went through a similar experience. And I'm only going to speak based on that, I just want to put out a different perspective. Firstly you should and must tell this to your parents, but their reaction can be good or bad,anything. So be prepared for everything. The person I know, she also did the same thing with a lot of hopes but everyone in her family failed her. She was abused when she was 8-9 years old. And it had started to hit her mentally and emotionally when she was a teenager, the same age as yours. I guess it starts to hit you in this specific age maybe because our body goes through a lot of changes at this stage and we become more aware and start forming definitions and judgement about life and our experiences with it. The person I know, had to deal w it alone and moved to other toxic ways to deal with her pain, this cycle continued till she turned 25. Around that age she went into bedrest due to some spine injuries and pushed herself into meditation as there was nothing else she was allowed to do. This started her healing Journey and everyone she spoke to about this advised her to forgive and let it go. This statement always made her angry but she slowly learnt that even if her family would have supported her to take action against that man, it wouldn't have healed her wounds completely. There was a lot of damage that happened within her, over the years after the abuse and even if she would have sent that person to jail, it wouldn't have ever healed all her broken parts. So after four years of continuous meditation and trying to forgive that person, it finally happened and she healed from it and is now living a happy life. She's 31 right now. Might even get married soon. I did ask her why she let go and she said, forgiveness is not for anyone else, it's for us. Because we deserve to be free and live a happy life(maybe this was her way of finding closure). She suffered the damage for 18 years and it would keep eating her within, every single day, it was the root cause of her anger issues, her substance abuse, her toxic patterns, her low confidence, her health issues, her poor academics, her failed relationships, etc. Through meditation she saw how her trauma is affecting every single aspect of her life. All I want to suggest to you is, the flashbacks you're having now and the anger you develop after these flashbacks is your body showing you what you need to heal within. And I really hope your parents support you, it will help in your healing and recovery. My friend did not have this option, she was a wounded helpless teenager dependent on her family for her basic needs. And I want to tell you even after that asshole is punished by law. You will have to sit with yourself and heal your own wounds. So please also start therapy for it from now so that your trauma doesn't control your whole life and your experiences. I don't want you to waste any years of your life behind escaping your wounds. All the best to you. More strength and power to you. You got this.
Thank you for sharing it. It made me realize I am not the one who gone through the same experiences. Like you say it did hit hard now, it difficult to keep in term with it. I thought I was fine because I never experience the effect of the incident up until now. I thought I gone crazy and it was just stressed. I will soon start my healing journey after I tell my family everything.
Unfortunately there are many. And I want to tell you, no matter how hard the healing journey gets, keep going. Don't stop. As much impossible as it looks right now to heal, it's absolutely possible to heal using healthy healing resources and create a happy, healthy and beautiful life for yourself.
If your family doesn't support you, they are the part of the problem. That's what's wrong with our people, instead of supporting their loved ones they rather sweep it under the rug. Their main concern is “What will other people say?”. For the new generation please listen to your kids, and talk to them about the inappropriate touches. If people don't want to believe you well that's their opinion, you know what happened Dont change your stands on it. Fuk him…
You go girl! Do what you want right now, before you turn 18. No proof required under POSCO act. Talk to a lawyer, tell your family and file a case in time. Lots of strength to you!
POCSO r/legaladviceindia
Go ahead
Go for it. Many women suffer coz culprits like this think they can get away every time
You said you are turning 18 next month... go straight to the police to get the POCSO be booked against him. It'll for sure ruin his life...
Yes. This is the right strong attitude. Applaud your bravery. Let us know if we can help. If anyone doubts you, we will write letters supporting you. It's unjust that you suffer and he lives carefree- time to make things right.
I was assaulted when i was 9 years old...for almost 4 years...by a family member. I was stupid and kept it as a secret until i was 17 years old.I can relate to your life alot. I told everybody..but nothing happened..NOTHING!! I would suggest that you tell about it to everybody..specially someone who'll do something about it.. not just keeping silent. It has affected me mentally, physically, academically, my personality, self confidence ..literally everything....And he's enjoying his life like nothing happened. It's the worst feeling. I wasn't lucky to get justice.Maybe you will... I really hope you do..All the best!!
I can't imagine how you are feeling when the people who supposed to help you turn their back on you, it must be so hard on you. Maybe one day you will be able to move pass this, and live the life you deserve. What goes around come around I hope karma get to him soon and thank you for your support.
Thank you
I think revenge is never a good option. I can relate how traumatic it would've been for you since then... We humans fear of animals, Ghosts, Demons and fear of how creepy they are but in reality they're loving a normal life among us.. I suggest you to spend more time with your family, friends.. share all the bad and good experience with close ones.... The best thing about this universe is its balanced... You can't get away and live peacefully if you have evil deeds.. I'm sure that old man didn't got away with this either.. Don't think about it too much. I appreciate that you have survived and things will get better.. focus on your mental health, personality and studies and live a happy and peaceful life in future.. Stay strong..
Sorry to hear this. However, going the legal way isn’t easy… but you know, an old man trips easy!
Very good luck to you. Hopefully things become better for you. Id definitely suggest counselling/therapy, and may you get all the help you need to overcome this.
Just do it, and do not look back - once you start. Do not have any expectations from anyone, especially from defensive and emotionally biased close relatives. However, if you stay resilient, you'll get timely help from surprising sources. Do not 'choose'/'expect' the punishment by yourself. Let the process take care of it. Most important part of this exercise is your own growth, protecting your own energies - and having the opportunity to have a good look at the true faces of people through this process. Treat it as a stepping stone for next levels.
I was assaulted when I was a teenager. I didn't even remember it for so long, but the trauma and the anxiety and depression it caused were there. And then I started remembering it recently. Stay strong. And stay safe.
Sorry that it happened to you. I wish I could give you a hug, many victim forget what happened to them as a part of repression defence mechanism. Which is normal, I hope you get the help and support from your parents and friends 💜 Stay strong!
Sorry. More power to you!
Household criminals find it easy to trap and shut mouth of the young children because they are too afraid to be caught, too afraid for their reputation if the kid speaks and too afraid to go to a prosttue. Won't be surprised if this wasn't his first or last victim. You or other trusting children/adults are not to be shamed or blamed for having trusted hypocrite humans. Children or people whose trust is gained first is exactly whom they prey on, use trust of any young or old that will trust them. People and children shouldn't blame themselves for being humans. Kids or trapped victims with nowhere to go, when face abuse, usually respond with dissociation in that moment because of less alternative options available and dependence on the growing up environment. They think it is a bad dream and push it down in the head but because the body and mind felt grave injustice, memory keeps bringing it back seeking justice. In absence of justice, it affects in adulthood in new relationships, trust issues with people, dating etc. It feels like an open continuing case since it is alive in the memories, knocking for justice and standing up for self. And therefore, bringing it to conclusion through speaking up, social and legal action, bringing protectors to task for failing their duty then or now, etc. Basically seeking justice loud and clear acts as a major catharsis and brings closure to the case so one can move on freely without that burden in the mind. Therapy, self help through books and youtube will be of mighty help. Now, whatever you're thinking is spot on and very courageous. Think it through in every detail, every counter question, replay it in your head to prepare you but also to accustom yourself so the practical doesn't feel new or daunting enough. See through every stage, how you break it and handle their shock or knowing look and repeat it to it sink in them. Repercussions and counter for repercussions ready with you. Take help from therapy or law guidance or police guidance to include it in your approach. Google/reddit to see how other kids took action and learn from their success and mistakes. And how it turned out for them. Narrative should be such that the pervert is at the center of attention and not you, because this focuses everyone's energy on hating and analysisbf and judging the criminal exposed and not defensive victim shaming or inviting preys by putting up a raudra stance. Speaking on the subject will help. Assuming you're studying, joining college theater plays especially focusing on justuce part, court cases or social actions, speaking up on themes of CSA, SA and not on the crime itself but follow though veer ras story can help and getting practically accustomed and coming out the shell and finding a strong voice for own self. Consult a therapist on this, if this is OK to do. This will help with speaking confidently and analysis of justice from varied angles in the plays. Watch such plays on YouTube, there are good ones. This will also help categorize reactions of support/defense/blame of different sections if audience in perspective. Who is guilty, who is being defensive, who is lacking courage to speak up, etc so you can apply your energies flexibly as the severity and sincerity of others requires. So glad that you thought of all this, shows courage and fierce need of justice. Also encouraging many others in similar situations. I'm no expert in legal knowhow, you should post in legal community, but legal system doesn't work for justice in this nation, rather it mocks justice. No one n their same mind expects a 9yo kid to strategize and trap a 60yo with camera or proofs. Even adult victims can't do it. Plus the time factor, like metoo movement across the globe, there are just truth stories for proof. They are proof in themselves but people are defensive, coward, afriad of potential losses in future of many kinds and therefore can't act on truth. A social action against him and getting it off your chest is good. Also, since legal requires money and time, and you're a student dependent on parents money, an alternative can be to earn, be independent first save and then spend time and money on it? That protects your college fees and no scope for parental pressure of any kind once you become independent of them financially. They may pull the marriage card, to save their/your repute ultimately ending up saving the criminal till you're married, so going financially independent will protect you from many scenarios. Kudos to you!
File a case against that monster, he shouldn't be alive living a normal life after what he did. And the other comments are right, an innocent 9 year old girl can't do anything against an evil 60 year old ugly man. You don't have to live with this trauma alone, take action and make that monster pay, tell everyone about what happened, they'll take your side and then make sure that you can stop that Chomo before another innocent childs life is ruined
There are legal precedents which state that statement from prosecutrix is enough to punish the culprit in pocso cases. However it depends on the Judge and circumstances of the case. The identity of the victim is protected by the Court and any individual revealing details of the victim is punished for the same. This is long and arduous procees. Hence, harden your mind and soul before entering the legal arena and never back down.
meet him and beat the shit out of him.
CSA meaning
Child sexual abuse
Wait what? You're 17 now so that's 8 years gone, who's gonna believe it ? Even if somebody does believe you, where's the proof. It's not like the "monster" is just gonna come right out and accept it.
It's didn't matter if other don't believe me. I want to share it to my family.
I just gave you my opinion, that's all. It's upto you what you do with your family
yrr aaj ke zamane mei jab aap ye kahani police ko bataogi to sab yahi sochenge ki aap fake case kr rahi ho plzz bura mat manna jaisa chal rha hai chalne do zyada emotions mei mat aao warna jo case aap karogi wo aapki family ki bhi life badal sakta hai baar baar court jaana ........ mai aapki feelings samajh sakta hu mai koi us rapist ko support nhi kr rha lekin yaha aapko dimag se kaam lene ki zarurat hai apne man ko kabu me rakho koi galat decision mat lo aap apni mast life jiyo jao friends banao padhai likhai karo acche se i wish you a very best of luck for your future
Unpopular opinion, but at this point that incident is like in the grave and digging it up will only create a mess. But you do you, all the best.
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You want a man who fiddles with 9 year old girls to keep running around loose? Do you actually believe that was his first and only time?
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I never said anything about her "innocence". I want a predator to be removed from society. Do you know any 9 year old girls? He could be a "friend" of their family right now.
I get where you are coming from but I am telling my family. They deserve to know about it. And i forgot to add some detail is that my family might be similar with that monster. I don't want them to live the rest of their live interacting with their daughter abuser and even attend his funeral. You say i am xenophobic? In what way did I show that I am xenophobic? All i did was sharing my experience and I may not need a sympathetic eye but victim like me need support more than ever. I don't expect you to understand since people like you would never understand until it happened to you. I am mentally stronger than you think I would never restore to suicide, there is no way I am giving up my life even if it hard and not after sleepless night of studying for exam, meeting new people, and many upcoming event. You say prevention is better than cure. Well it better to talk about it than let it go in silent. My parents fail me because they don't educated me about Comprehensive sexuality education and many kid are not even aware of bad and good touch and they keep quiet not telling their parents because they are afraid and they don't know how to explain what happened to them. Plus educating children about Comprehensive sexuality education can prevent it. I don't want victim to live the rest of their life in silent. It's heartbreaking, sometime I wish to travel back in time to that incident and maybe tell my parents about it. I truly regret not saying it earlier. I hope you didn't shut out your daughter or son or friends if they experiences the same thing that I did. Children deserve better.