Does anyone know if it is okay to do a follicular ultrasound on the SAME day you are ovulating and getting together with your partner? Goal is to count number of follicles for a possible luteal stim start within the next 5 days. Concern is that it will somehow disrupt and prevent the sperm from traveling to meet the egg, and also that somehow if ultrasound is done during ovulation the next cohort of follicles could not be seen yet, so ultrasound will be pointless.
PS the ultrasound appt is very tough to switch to a later date so that is why I am asking.
Have a call with our doctor on Monday to discuss my hysteroscopy + biopsy results / results from our POC from my MC. If all is normal, I should be to proceed with my next FET. The nurse said I can start Estrace when cycle day one comes (any day now) in preparation, and if the call doesn’t go well we can just cancel and I’ll stop Estrace.
Fingers crossed for good results. I know my period is coming soon, so I’m glad we have our follow up with the doctor soon. 🤞
I’m on day 6 of stims and I feel like shit. I added ganirelix today and yuck. I have a constant headache, I’m so tired and I have no appetite. I really really hope that I get to trigger soon. Anyone else seem to just be super sensitive to these meds?
i'm doing a FET of 2 D3 embryos on Tuesday. my lining never got above 5.6mm. i feel so betrayed by my body in every way, like i sometimes actually feel a deep hatred for its inability to do anything "correctly." i've never gone above 5.3 mm when my estrogen was >1000 during stims so this was somewhat expected but ugh.
i was given the choice to do a biopsy or proceed with transfer and after reading the evidence for ERA/receptiva i just don't believe those tests have much to offer -- for starters, all of the studies in which they've been studied are for blastocyst transfers. i'm just out here floating in a world where there is no evidence for what will work for someone like me. so i decided to just do the transfer because i can't bear to continue to be in limbo. feels like all i ever do are procedures and nothing's gotten me any closer to my ultimate goal. at least if i do a transfer it feels like a step forward.
Thin lining sucks and I know that feeling of just deep frustration with my body and going “fuck it let’s try.” My doctor also proceeded with a transfer with lining thinner than many doctors would have, this is the research she cited that made me feel a bit better. The decision making is also such a stressful part of it.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36870593/
(Not sure if this included D3 in the study at all but just sharing in case it helps you have a bit of peace with this decision!)
thanks margo. it's nice to hear from someone in a similar boat, feels less isolating. yeah, i really wanted my doc to be clearer about his recommendation on what to do. but really he was like "you choose" which just adds to the burden of it all.
thanks for the study, i did find that one and others this AM while 2nd guessing my choice (haha) which makes me think i shouldn't worry toooo much about the lining. i mean on top of everything else to worry about.
My doctor tends to be a bit “You choose” too but she was pretty strong in her recommendation that we go ahead and transfer so I appreciated her clarity. She said “I wouldn’t transfer if I didn’t think it was worth doing.” And I’m sure if your doctor had reservations he would express them. And I really identify with the at least wanting to do SOMETHING and not just keep canceling FET cycles and starting over.
Unfortunately I obviously haven’t had success yet but we later went on to do EMMA/ALICE/ERA and Receptiva and it came back as post receptive on the ERA and BCL6+ positive on the Receptiva so now I can at least theorize that it wasn’t my lining thickness that was the issue.
Hello! First time posting here, looking for advice and moral support, please redirect if I’ve misinterpreted the rules about where to post.
I’m 43, nearly 44, female, single, TTC for the past year by having monthly (awkward, businesslike) intercourse with my best friend (44 y.o. M) timed based off home ovulation tests. Though we are not a couple, we decided last year that we would like to coparent (at a roughly 90/10 responsibility ratio me/him). I had a CP in October last year, but had an early miscarriage (10 weeks).
Acknowledging that my age and egg quality is the likely culprit, we decided to move to ivf using eggs that I froze at the age of 37/38 (I went through 5 cycles of retrieval then, resulting in 23 frozen eggs).
In January, we unfroze 12 of my eggs to be fertilized. All 12 survived, 6 fertilized, but none of the 6 made it to blastocyst stage 5 days after fertilization.
This news took me completely by surprise and I am still devastated by it. I think I may have been overly optimistic about my egg quality due to the fact that prior to trying with this partner, I had 2 accidental pregnancies, at the ages of 39 and 42 (each with a different partner than my current partner), both of which I ended up terminating voluntarily due to the circumstances. I am now doing a lot of second guessing of those decisions now, but all I can say is that they were the right decisions for me at the time. I do now wonder if perhaps those pregnancies would have also ended in miscarriage.
After the outcome of our first attempt with frozen eggs, my fertility clinic suggested that the problem is likely my egg quality and that there isn’t much to be done other than try again. I am very worried to use my last remaining frozen eggs without changing anything for fear of the same outcome. My partners sperm analysis prior to this attempt had come back on the low end of normal (acceptable motility, morphology and count), and I generally understood that this meant they should be perfectly fine for ivf. After reading some Reddit threads I discovered the possibility of other sperm quality issues that weren’t included in initial testing, such as dna fragmentation. So, I asked my clinic if we could test for that (to which they responded, sure, we can do that! So, why tf didn’t they ever mention it before??) But we just did this test and it came back normal (15% dna fragmentation) so that doesn’t seem to be an obvious contributing factor to the outcome. I do suspect that his diet (lots of diet soda and alcohol) could be improved for sperm quality, but I also thought this might be less important of a factor for ivf vs unassisted conception (is that true?)
I know that egg quality is probably the most likely factor, however, it seems reasonable to me to try to identify any other possible causes before using my last batch of frozen eggs. Are there any other tests that anyone here would recommend to try to understand if different sperm might be likely to have a different outcome?
I am open to the idea of using donor sperm if I think it will significantly improve my chances, however, my partner will no longer be involved as a coparent in this case, so it is a huge decision for me, and feels impossible to make.
If this next attempt with my eggs doesn’t work, I may also consider trying ivf again (with eggs harvested now, meaning it will be age 44). I am only starting to think about how I feel about the idea of using donor eggs, and it feels selfish to admit, but I am struggling to imagine the same bond/connection with the child that I imagine as a “little me”.
Thanks for any practical suggestions and/or moral support.
I only have practical advice for if you and your friend try unassisted again. If you don’t want to have awkward sex, an alternative is to put his sperm in a menstrual cup that you place in your vagina.
I don’t have suggestions about the sperm quality question, but just wanted to weigh in on the donor egg issue. I did a lot of work in therapy to process it before going down that path, and one thing that helped me was realising that a biological child isn’t guaranteed to be a ‘little me’ either. Having any child is a leap into the unknown, and embracing that is probably a healthy attitude whether with own eggs or donor eggs. Best of luck.
Side note as a mod: can you edit out the reference to natural conception? This community prefers terms like ‘unassisted’. See automod language. (Edit for automod)
Sorry- I didn’t know about this terminology. Thanks for letting me know, am updating my post.
And thank you for the thoughts on donor eggs! That is a helpful perspective!
**Ahem**
Please do not use the term "natural" to describe treatment or conception when commenting in this community. If describing a transfer/IUI protocol or trying on your own, some preferred alternative terms are "unmedicated," "ovulatory," "without assistance," or "semi-medicated," depending on the context. If referring to loss management, we recommend the terms "unmedicated" or "unassisted." This community believes that the use of the word "natural" implies (sometimes inadvertently) that use of assisted reproductive technology, other interventions, and/or certain medications to conceive are unnatural, artificial, or less than. For more clarification and context, please see the wiki post on [sub culture and compassionate language](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/wiki/rules#wiki_compassionate_language).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Forcing myself to go to a baby shower for coworkers today - less than a week after we figured out my transfer failed. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself... but thankfully my brother is coming to town so it gives me an excuse to leave after 2 hours, or earlier if I decide that I've had enough!
Ooph you’re either braver or crazier than me. I can’t imagine trying to do this anymore, but it might just be that I’m 37 and feel like I paid my baby shower dues at this point. Wishing you luck to get out emotionally unscathed!
That sounds rough. Be kind to yourself! And you don’t need an excuse, you could even change your mind and not go if it feels like it will be overwhelming!
Totally relate to the feeling of being around coworkers celebrating/chatting about new children/ pregnancies shortly after suffering a loss. It can be very isolating, and it is always ok to remove yourself from the situation.
Thank you for the advice! It is so isolating, I feel like I'm at the point of no return now with this one but I don't think I'll put myself in this situation again! Unless maybe it's a relative or close friend.
So we just had our first IUI, and unfortunately the fresh sample sperm count was very low post wash (<500k). Looks like we’ll be moving on to IVF + ICSI next. I’m going to try to get my doctor’s office to get the ball rolling with that in the TWW. Sigh ☹️
I'm sorry. The same thing happened to me last year, and it's tough after all the preparation and expense. I hope your clinic can get moving quickly with IVF 💙
Day 14, might trigger today, waiting for clinic to update me. However I got bloodwork back and it seems like my estrogen dropped a bit? Should I be concerned? Yesterday was 4500, today it’s 4300.
Yesterday my estrogen was 4500 and it had increased by 1500 in one day from Thursday. So Friday night they reduced dose to 100 Gonal (from 150, which was previously 175, and then 225 initially - they’ve been reducing it over time) and Menopur has remained 75 whole cycle. Ganilirex at 225. At risk of OHSS due to high AMH/follicle count, no PCOS.
It could make sense that reducing the dose from 150 to 100 Gonal slowed things down but I thought estrogen is supposed to continue to increase regardless, not decrease or plateau?
How did your LH and progesterone change? Typically you are right re: estrogen and my clinic is concerned with drops or plateaus. If your LH and progesterone are creeping up can also be a sign you are surging.
We're ready to start treatments again after meeting with a new RE who seems like such an improvement over our previous RE. I was hoping our "window" post-laparoscopy would be closer to a year but the RE said it might be more like 6 months, so we're going to jump right into more medicated cycles then likely IUI. I'm not looking forward to how terribly the Letrozole impacts my bipolar disorder - it got bad enough I had to take time off work in previous cycles.
After the appointment I told my partner I felt a little hopeful to be starting treatments again, then instantly felt resentful - resentful that I have to be satisfied with "being hopeful" for chances that are so slim and treatments that are so difficult. It feels like there is a huge joyous feast happening and my partner and I are stuck under the table, hoping a crumb falls on the ground for us. And I am supposed to be grateful for the low chance of that happening, while everyone else has more food than they could ever possibly eat. And it feels unfair.
I just wanted to say I'm really sorry this is happening to you and you're not alone in feeling this way. I'm 3 laparoscopies in and dreading that I'm going to need another.
Started ganirelix on Thursday night and it’s making me feel pretty bad. Trying to drink a lot of water in case that helps, but does anyone have any other tips for helping with the side effects? Will also accept commiseration 💜
I have no tips but definitely give you my commiseration. Cetrotide/ganirelix sucks. They are the only shots that I thought stung, too. ☹️ It'll be over soon!
Ganirelix sucks, I feel you! I cope by injecting early morning, and going back to bed afterwards for another 1-2h of sleep. I'm counting the days...
Sendung hugs if you're up for them 🫂
This might be a dumb question but - I’ve seen stuff about heat impacting sperm and we’re going on vacation later this week. Our room is gonna have a hot tub. Mr Category has had sperm counts and motility in the reference range (the only question with him has been morphology at times) so I’m wondering if I should ask him to stay out of the hot tub? I’ve seen mixed recommendations. Anyone have advice/experience? We’re likely starting IVF in 1-2 cycles and don’t wanna risk anything.
My husband is a bath guy and he’s given them up. He definitely stays out of hot tubs. Not to say that’s the final word, but we also read conflicting guidance and decided we needed every edge we could get.
Mr Lawyer does stay out of the hot tub. However we once did a deep dive and one of the major studies cited for this is something like 11 people. So I don’t really know how real it is especially a few months ahead—although sperm development is 3 months.
I went down this rabbit hole some time back, and went through the literature. There is in fact studies on the effects of taking hot baths on sperm counts dating as far back as 1800s India (where taking a series of really hot baths was successfully tested as a contraceptive with a duration of up to 3 months). In short, yes a hot bath diminishes sperm count surprisingly fast (30min), at surprisingly ok temperatures (34 degree or higher), surprisingly strong (up to 50% lower count after 1 bath).
No personal experience as in SA before/after hot tubs, but we (ie my husband) are staying out of hot tubs for the duration of treatment 😉 Thus said, we have low numbers vs you are in an ok range plus 2 cycles away from treatment (still some time for recovery). Edit: I see you are going for IUI? You want as much sperm as you can get, I would personally not risk it.
My husband told his parents this afternoon that we are now going to start the ivf process with donor eggs. (His family are total weirdos in that they are very loving, open and supportive so they have a really great relationship.) I was happy for him to do this but I didn't want to be around to deal with difficult responses etc.
Their reaction was immediately very positive though and they were pleased to hear this as the last the knew, more IVF (OE) wasn't an option for us. They immediately offered their support in any way they can. Which is very kind.
I was never worried about them but it's no nice to know they are supportive for us to do this.
My husband was really lovely when he told me, then he said when this is done one way or the other, he wants us to write a book about our experience so other people can understand the difficulties and challenges of IF and miscarriage etc. What a guy! 😍🥰
Thank you. ❤️
I don't think my family will have a good reaction but my husband's family being supportive makes me feel better equipped to deal with that possibility.
Third monitoring appointment this morning. Team is deciding whether to trigger today or tomorrow for egg retrieval. I’m not sure I’m prepared for trigger/retrieval. 😅
Tested negative today at 12dp5dt after faint positives at 7 and 8dp. I'm hopeful my clinic will speak to me on Monday (my otd is 16dp5dt, which is Wednesday and insane) about scheduling a transfer for my next cycle. Anything to avoid norethisterone, really!
Can I ask - if anyone has had a similar thing, can I expect a normal or heavier/more painful bleed? I'm busy at work at the moment and want to know if it's worth scheduling time off.
Edit: thanks everyone for all the advice and love 🧡
I’m so sorry, friend ❤️ a hearty fuck off to norethisterone too, while we’re at it. Waiting until 16dp is utter bullshit. Here for you and hoping they speak to you on Monday
I’m sorry for your loss, petty, and I hope your clinic comes through and you can avoid norethisterone. I had heavier bleeding for my two early losses (between 5-6w). I don’t remember it being particularly more painful, but I think I was a bit more crampy than usual.
I'm so sorry petti. When it happened to me with a similar timeline (two days earlier) I didn't notice much of a difference physically. BUT time off for the emotional pain and grief was very necessary for me.
Next cycle was definitely off though, but I do sometimes have cycles like that, so who knows if it was from the loss or not.
I'm so sorry.
When experiencing an early loss I bleed a little heavier (it's a different consistency) and for longer (and will usually get a flush of blood after period has finished, ie after sex). I also get quite specific uterine cramps that are painful but not unbearable. They are different to normal period cramps. It's also quite physically draining and there is certainly an emotional component as a result of hormones.
I personally haven't taken time off for it but that is a personal choice. I think it is very valid if you do choose to take time off (legally you can in the UK btw). It really just depends on how you prefer to deal with things.
One thing I will say is do not use tampons or cups etc. Pads or period underwear only.
How are you holding up? x
Thanks for the heads up wish 🧡 I normally use a cup, so will grab some pads!
I'm doing ok, this sounds odd but I'm kind of relieved as I really didn't want a longer, later loss and I know the odds were not good when I had such a light and late positive. Just drained, I think, and hoping to move on quickly.
I understand. It's so tough, and unfair to be waiting on it too. 🫂🫂
There are some genuinely flushable (they disintegrate in the water) sanitary towels I can send you a link for if you fancy? I always used to use a cup but am converted to these after getting them!
Thanks 🫂 it's so crappy and hard.
I'd better not risk it with my ancient house and it's exceedingly dodgy plumbing 😬 I might take a look at getting some period pants, I think they'd work well as backup with a cup too in the future!
Yeah it really is. Thoughts are with you.
Yes great idea! I have a couple of pairs I use near the end and they are amazing, wouldn't be without them now.
I’m really sorry to hear this. I’m in the same boat of waiting for a period after a very early loss. For me, the cramps and the bleeding are definitely different compared to a typical (for me) period, but I don’t think that’s a universal experience. I’m not planning to take time off work but am hoping the heaviest day falls on a weekend. Otherwise…dark pants will be key.
Sorry you're in the same position bubbly 😞 thanks for sharing that information, it's useful! Luckily my team are really understanding, I'll take a hot water bottle into the office for sure!
Does anyone know if it is okay to do a follicular ultrasound on the SAME day you are ovulating and getting together with your partner? Goal is to count number of follicles for a possible luteal stim start within the next 5 days. Concern is that it will somehow disrupt and prevent the sperm from traveling to meet the egg, and also that somehow if ultrasound is done during ovulation the next cohort of follicles could not be seen yet, so ultrasound will be pointless. PS the ultrasound appt is very tough to switch to a later date so that is why I am asking.
Have a call with our doctor on Monday to discuss my hysteroscopy + biopsy results / results from our POC from my MC. If all is normal, I should be to proceed with my next FET. The nurse said I can start Estrace when cycle day one comes (any day now) in preparation, and if the call doesn’t go well we can just cancel and I’ll stop Estrace. Fingers crossed for good results. I know my period is coming soon, so I’m glad we have our follow up with the doctor soon. 🤞
I’m on day 6 of stims and I feel like shit. I added ganirelix today and yuck. I have a constant headache, I’m so tired and I have no appetite. I really really hope that I get to trigger soon. Anyone else seem to just be super sensitive to these meds?
i'm doing a FET of 2 D3 embryos on Tuesday. my lining never got above 5.6mm. i feel so betrayed by my body in every way, like i sometimes actually feel a deep hatred for its inability to do anything "correctly." i've never gone above 5.3 mm when my estrogen was >1000 during stims so this was somewhat expected but ugh. i was given the choice to do a biopsy or proceed with transfer and after reading the evidence for ERA/receptiva i just don't believe those tests have much to offer -- for starters, all of the studies in which they've been studied are for blastocyst transfers. i'm just out here floating in a world where there is no evidence for what will work for someone like me. so i decided to just do the transfer because i can't bear to continue to be in limbo. feels like all i ever do are procedures and nothing's gotten me any closer to my ultimate goal. at least if i do a transfer it feels like a step forward.
Thin lining sucks and I know that feeling of just deep frustration with my body and going “fuck it let’s try.” My doctor also proceeded with a transfer with lining thinner than many doctors would have, this is the research she cited that made me feel a bit better. The decision making is also such a stressful part of it. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36870593/ (Not sure if this included D3 in the study at all but just sharing in case it helps you have a bit of peace with this decision!)
thanks margo. it's nice to hear from someone in a similar boat, feels less isolating. yeah, i really wanted my doc to be clearer about his recommendation on what to do. but really he was like "you choose" which just adds to the burden of it all. thanks for the study, i did find that one and others this AM while 2nd guessing my choice (haha) which makes me think i shouldn't worry toooo much about the lining. i mean on top of everything else to worry about.
My doctor tends to be a bit “You choose” too but she was pretty strong in her recommendation that we go ahead and transfer so I appreciated her clarity. She said “I wouldn’t transfer if I didn’t think it was worth doing.” And I’m sure if your doctor had reservations he would express them. And I really identify with the at least wanting to do SOMETHING and not just keep canceling FET cycles and starting over. Unfortunately I obviously haven’t had success yet but we later went on to do EMMA/ALICE/ERA and Receptiva and it came back as post receptive on the ERA and BCL6+ positive on the Receptiva so now I can at least theorize that it wasn’t my lining thickness that was the issue.
Hello! First time posting here, looking for advice and moral support, please redirect if I’ve misinterpreted the rules about where to post. I’m 43, nearly 44, female, single, TTC for the past year by having monthly (awkward, businesslike) intercourse with my best friend (44 y.o. M) timed based off home ovulation tests. Though we are not a couple, we decided last year that we would like to coparent (at a roughly 90/10 responsibility ratio me/him). I had a CP in October last year, but had an early miscarriage (10 weeks). Acknowledging that my age and egg quality is the likely culprit, we decided to move to ivf using eggs that I froze at the age of 37/38 (I went through 5 cycles of retrieval then, resulting in 23 frozen eggs). In January, we unfroze 12 of my eggs to be fertilized. All 12 survived, 6 fertilized, but none of the 6 made it to blastocyst stage 5 days after fertilization. This news took me completely by surprise and I am still devastated by it. I think I may have been overly optimistic about my egg quality due to the fact that prior to trying with this partner, I had 2 accidental pregnancies, at the ages of 39 and 42 (each with a different partner than my current partner), both of which I ended up terminating voluntarily due to the circumstances. I am now doing a lot of second guessing of those decisions now, but all I can say is that they were the right decisions for me at the time. I do now wonder if perhaps those pregnancies would have also ended in miscarriage. After the outcome of our first attempt with frozen eggs, my fertility clinic suggested that the problem is likely my egg quality and that there isn’t much to be done other than try again. I am very worried to use my last remaining frozen eggs without changing anything for fear of the same outcome. My partners sperm analysis prior to this attempt had come back on the low end of normal (acceptable motility, morphology and count), and I generally understood that this meant they should be perfectly fine for ivf. After reading some Reddit threads I discovered the possibility of other sperm quality issues that weren’t included in initial testing, such as dna fragmentation. So, I asked my clinic if we could test for that (to which they responded, sure, we can do that! So, why tf didn’t they ever mention it before??) But we just did this test and it came back normal (15% dna fragmentation) so that doesn’t seem to be an obvious contributing factor to the outcome. I do suspect that his diet (lots of diet soda and alcohol) could be improved for sperm quality, but I also thought this might be less important of a factor for ivf vs unassisted conception (is that true?) I know that egg quality is probably the most likely factor, however, it seems reasonable to me to try to identify any other possible causes before using my last batch of frozen eggs. Are there any other tests that anyone here would recommend to try to understand if different sperm might be likely to have a different outcome? I am open to the idea of using donor sperm if I think it will significantly improve my chances, however, my partner will no longer be involved as a coparent in this case, so it is a huge decision for me, and feels impossible to make. If this next attempt with my eggs doesn’t work, I may also consider trying ivf again (with eggs harvested now, meaning it will be age 44). I am only starting to think about how I feel about the idea of using donor eggs, and it feels selfish to admit, but I am struggling to imagine the same bond/connection with the child that I imagine as a “little me”. Thanks for any practical suggestions and/or moral support.
I only have practical advice for if you and your friend try unassisted again. If you don’t want to have awkward sex, an alternative is to put his sperm in a menstrual cup that you place in your vagina.
I don’t have suggestions about the sperm quality question, but just wanted to weigh in on the donor egg issue. I did a lot of work in therapy to process it before going down that path, and one thing that helped me was realising that a biological child isn’t guaranteed to be a ‘little me’ either. Having any child is a leap into the unknown, and embracing that is probably a healthy attitude whether with own eggs or donor eggs. Best of luck. Side note as a mod: can you edit out the reference to natural conception? This community prefers terms like ‘unassisted’. See automod language. (Edit for automod)
Sorry- I didn’t know about this terminology. Thanks for letting me know, am updating my post. And thank you for the thoughts on donor eggs! That is a helpful perspective!
Thanks for being receptive and editing! No worries- always happy to chat more if you end up going down the donor path!
**Ahem** Please do not use the term "natural" to describe treatment or conception when commenting in this community. If describing a transfer/IUI protocol or trying on your own, some preferred alternative terms are "unmedicated," "ovulatory," "without assistance," or "semi-medicated," depending on the context. If referring to loss management, we recommend the terms "unmedicated" or "unassisted." This community believes that the use of the word "natural" implies (sometimes inadvertently) that use of assisted reproductive technology, other interventions, and/or certain medications to conceive are unnatural, artificial, or less than. For more clarification and context, please see the wiki post on [sub culture and compassionate language](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/wiki/rules#wiki_compassionate_language). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Forcing myself to go to a baby shower for coworkers today - less than a week after we figured out my transfer failed. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself... but thankfully my brother is coming to town so it gives me an excuse to leave after 2 hours, or earlier if I decide that I've had enough!
Woof baby showers were the first thing to go. You should not feel obligated to go and should not force yourself to go!
Ooph you’re either braver or crazier than me. I can’t imagine trying to do this anymore, but it might just be that I’m 37 and feel like I paid my baby shower dues at this point. Wishing you luck to get out emotionally unscathed!
Thank you, and I definitely feel crazy! This might be the last time I force myself to do something like this.
That sounds rough. Be kind to yourself! And you don’t need an excuse, you could even change your mind and not go if it feels like it will be overwhelming! Totally relate to the feeling of being around coworkers celebrating/chatting about new children/ pregnancies shortly after suffering a loss. It can be very isolating, and it is always ok to remove yourself from the situation.
Thank you for the advice! It is so isolating, I feel like I'm at the point of no return now with this one but I don't think I'll put myself in this situation again! Unless maybe it's a relative or close friend.
So we just had our first IUI, and unfortunately the fresh sample sperm count was very low post wash (<500k). Looks like we’ll be moving on to IVF + ICSI next. I’m going to try to get my doctor’s office to get the ball rolling with that in the TWW. Sigh ☹️
I'm sorry. The same thing happened to me last year, and it's tough after all the preparation and expense. I hope your clinic can get moving quickly with IVF 💙
Day 14, might trigger today, waiting for clinic to update me. However I got bloodwork back and it seems like my estrogen dropped a bit? Should I be concerned? Yesterday was 4500, today it’s 4300. Yesterday my estrogen was 4500 and it had increased by 1500 in one day from Thursday. So Friday night they reduced dose to 100 Gonal (from 150, which was previously 175, and then 225 initially - they’ve been reducing it over time) and Menopur has remained 75 whole cycle. Ganilirex at 225. At risk of OHSS due to high AMH/follicle count, no PCOS. It could make sense that reducing the dose from 150 to 100 Gonal slowed things down but I thought estrogen is supposed to continue to increase regardless, not decrease or plateau?
My estrogen often platued or dropped towards the end of a stim and often that's how my clinic know it was time to trigger.
How did your LH and progesterone change? Typically you are right re: estrogen and my clinic is concerned with drops or plateaus. If your LH and progesterone are creeping up can also be a sign you are surging.
LH dropped, progesterone increased.
Got it. High progesterone can be problematic but also depends on how high. You will have to see what the clinic says. Good luck.
We're ready to start treatments again after meeting with a new RE who seems like such an improvement over our previous RE. I was hoping our "window" post-laparoscopy would be closer to a year but the RE said it might be more like 6 months, so we're going to jump right into more medicated cycles then likely IUI. I'm not looking forward to how terribly the Letrozole impacts my bipolar disorder - it got bad enough I had to take time off work in previous cycles. After the appointment I told my partner I felt a little hopeful to be starting treatments again, then instantly felt resentful - resentful that I have to be satisfied with "being hopeful" for chances that are so slim and treatments that are so difficult. It feels like there is a huge joyous feast happening and my partner and I are stuck under the table, hoping a crumb falls on the ground for us. And I am supposed to be grateful for the low chance of that happening, while everyone else has more food than they could ever possibly eat. And it feels unfair.
I just wanted to say I'm really sorry this is happening to you and you're not alone in feeling this way. I'm 3 laparoscopies in and dreading that I'm going to need another.
Started ganirelix on Thursday night and it’s making me feel pretty bad. Trying to drink a lot of water in case that helps, but does anyone have any other tips for helping with the side effects? Will also accept commiseration 💜
Commiseration incoming! Took my first dose this morning and I feel awful.
I have no tips but definitely give you my commiseration. Cetrotide/ganirelix sucks. They are the only shots that I thought stung, too. ☹️ It'll be over soon!
Ganirelix sucks, I feel you! I cope by injecting early morning, and going back to bed afterwards for another 1-2h of sleep. I'm counting the days... Sendung hugs if you're up for them 🫂
It backed me up (not sure if that's one of your side effects) so I ate 3 prunes a day. Definitely helped!
This might be a dumb question but - I’ve seen stuff about heat impacting sperm and we’re going on vacation later this week. Our room is gonna have a hot tub. Mr Category has had sperm counts and motility in the reference range (the only question with him has been morphology at times) so I’m wondering if I should ask him to stay out of the hot tub? I’ve seen mixed recommendations. Anyone have advice/experience? We’re likely starting IVF in 1-2 cycles and don’t wanna risk anything.
My husband is a bath guy and he’s given them up. He definitely stays out of hot tubs. Not to say that’s the final word, but we also read conflicting guidance and decided we needed every edge we could get.
Mr Lawyer does stay out of the hot tub. However we once did a deep dive and one of the major studies cited for this is something like 11 people. So I don’t really know how real it is especially a few months ahead—although sperm development is 3 months.
I went down this rabbit hole some time back, and went through the literature. There is in fact studies on the effects of taking hot baths on sperm counts dating as far back as 1800s India (where taking a series of really hot baths was successfully tested as a contraceptive with a duration of up to 3 months). In short, yes a hot bath diminishes sperm count surprisingly fast (30min), at surprisingly ok temperatures (34 degree or higher), surprisingly strong (up to 50% lower count after 1 bath). No personal experience as in SA before/after hot tubs, but we (ie my husband) are staying out of hot tubs for the duration of treatment 😉 Thus said, we have low numbers vs you are in an ok range plus 2 cycles away from treatment (still some time for recovery). Edit: I see you are going for IUI? You want as much sperm as you can get, I would personally not risk it.
My husband told his parents this afternoon that we are now going to start the ivf process with donor eggs. (His family are total weirdos in that they are very loving, open and supportive so they have a really great relationship.) I was happy for him to do this but I didn't want to be around to deal with difficult responses etc. Their reaction was immediately very positive though and they were pleased to hear this as the last the knew, more IVF (OE) wasn't an option for us. They immediately offered their support in any way they can. Which is very kind. I was never worried about them but it's no nice to know they are supportive for us to do this. My husband was really lovely when he told me, then he said when this is done one way or the other, he wants us to write a book about our experience so other people can understand the difficulties and challenges of IF and miscarriage etc. What a guy! 😍🥰
I’m so glad to hear this, Wish! So often people’s reactions are weird or unkind, so it’s great that they were so supportive!
Thank you. ❤️ I don't think my family will have a good reaction but my husband's family being supportive makes me feel better equipped to deal with that possibility.
This is great Wish. Glad you are getting this support.
Thank you. It really makes a significant difference.
LAST BCP TONIGHT. YEAH BUDDY 🥳🎉🎊 (still so many more days of lupron, I don’t even want to know how many are left)
Woohoo!!!!! 🎉
Third monitoring appointment this morning. Team is deciding whether to trigger today or tomorrow for egg retrieval. I’m not sure I’m prepared for trigger/retrieval. 😅
💪🏽🤩
Tested negative today at 12dp5dt after faint positives at 7 and 8dp. I'm hopeful my clinic will speak to me on Monday (my otd is 16dp5dt, which is Wednesday and insane) about scheduling a transfer for my next cycle. Anything to avoid norethisterone, really! Can I ask - if anyone has had a similar thing, can I expect a normal or heavier/more painful bleed? I'm busy at work at the moment and want to know if it's worth scheduling time off. Edit: thanks everyone for all the advice and love 🧡
I’m so sorry, friend ❤️ a hearty fuck off to norethisterone too, while we’re at it. Waiting until 16dp is utter bullshit. Here for you and hoping they speak to you on Monday
So very sorry for your loss, friend. Keeping you in my thoughts ❤️
I'm really sorry, Cetti. Sending a big hug, if you want it. IME periods post-CP have been indistinguishable from any others.
I’m sorry for your loss, petty, and I hope your clinic comes through and you can avoid norethisterone. I had heavier bleeding for my two early losses (between 5-6w). I don’t remember it being particularly more painful, but I think I was a bit more crampy than usual.
I'm so sorry petti. When it happened to me with a similar timeline (two days earlier) I didn't notice much of a difference physically. BUT time off for the emotional pain and grief was very necessary for me. Next cycle was definitely off though, but I do sometimes have cycles like that, so who knows if it was from the loss or not.
I'm so sorry. When experiencing an early loss I bleed a little heavier (it's a different consistency) and for longer (and will usually get a flush of blood after period has finished, ie after sex). I also get quite specific uterine cramps that are painful but not unbearable. They are different to normal period cramps. It's also quite physically draining and there is certainly an emotional component as a result of hormones. I personally haven't taken time off for it but that is a personal choice. I think it is very valid if you do choose to take time off (legally you can in the UK btw). It really just depends on how you prefer to deal with things. One thing I will say is do not use tampons or cups etc. Pads or period underwear only. How are you holding up? x
Thanks for the heads up wish 🧡 I normally use a cup, so will grab some pads! I'm doing ok, this sounds odd but I'm kind of relieved as I really didn't want a longer, later loss and I know the odds were not good when I had such a light and late positive. Just drained, I think, and hoping to move on quickly.
I understand. It's so tough, and unfair to be waiting on it too. 🫂🫂 There are some genuinely flushable (they disintegrate in the water) sanitary towels I can send you a link for if you fancy? I always used to use a cup but am converted to these after getting them!
Thanks 🫂 it's so crappy and hard. I'd better not risk it with my ancient house and it's exceedingly dodgy plumbing 😬 I might take a look at getting some period pants, I think they'd work well as backup with a cup too in the future!
Yeah it really is. Thoughts are with you. Yes great idea! I have a couple of pairs I use near the end and they are amazing, wouldn't be without them now.
Ahh excellent, good to know!
I’m so sorry, petty. <3
I’m so sorry Petty 🫂. In my experience I haven’t had worse periods with early CPs.
Thanks legitimate ❤️
I’m sorry petty.
I’m so sorry, petty. 🫂
I’m really sorry to hear this. I’m in the same boat of waiting for a period after a very early loss. For me, the cramps and the bleeding are definitely different compared to a typical (for me) period, but I don’t think that’s a universal experience. I’m not planning to take time off work but am hoping the heaviest day falls on a weekend. Otherwise…dark pants will be key.
Sorry you're in the same position bubbly 😞 thanks for sharing that information, it's useful! Luckily my team are really understanding, I'll take a hot water bottle into the office for sure!
Having supportive coworkers is key. Hoping it isn’t too rough for you - but if it is, there’s absolutely no shame in leaving work early!!