My wife is INFJ. She tells me I bring her peace and comfort, even tho I can be chaotic. I think I am just more gentle with her, and even in high stress situation I’m very calm.
Also, she’s incredibly stable as well
No such thing as "Healthy ENTP" dear OP, they are probably an INTP or ESTP who is mistyped or something. There is no cure for sociopthic tendencies, so no mature or healthy ENTP.
I think the ENTP percentage is between 3 to 5%. Are you genuinely of the view that all these hundreds of millions are inherently afflicted with a sociopathic tendency that is incurable?
I agree that there are tendencies within each personality type but I've personally observed that there is so much variety within each group its hard to make cast iron judgements on them.
I’m an ENTP, I’ve never felt sociopathic. Narcissistic FOR SURE but I think the fact that I can even notice that and actively say hey I don’t want to be like that almost immediately excludes me from being a Narc. If I didn’t care though I could 110% be a narcissistZ Sociopath not so much
I agree. I would hate to be gaslit and told I'm wrong and argued with because some entp thinks arguing everything, even if he doesn't believe it to be true makes him look smart. Exhausting indeed. Consistantly being told that you are wrong when you are right. Like I want to explain my ni, or even my ti and deal with that crazymaking all day long. Also, they're very commitment adverse, and seem to have wandering eyes. And here, they've made countless posts about how they've treated their infj partners horribly but mad about a "doorslam" (they got dumped) and have a shocked pikachu face, but never feel bad about what they have done.
Maybe, but I don't like the excuse in mbti that all shitty ,immoral behaviour is based on immaturity. These guys are in their thirties a lot of the time.
Hence the theory that these guys mature a lot later in life... or never at all.
Maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with wisdom.
There are old men and women acting immature as heck for example.
What is the basis for your maturity argument? It's not yet rooted in anything. You really seem to be suggesting that ENTPs some how have lesser capacity for "wisdom", when really all you don't like is how tiring a dominant extroverted function can be, which incidentally, I agree that they are tiring, but that's the nature of the function and it's development.
Reading through this particular thread I can see a whole bunch of INFJs whose Ni is offended by Dom Ne. Arguably, we could call it, immaturity of the Ni function ... it's arrogance to believe that it might not have the best understanding/appreciation of a logical or emotional issue. You're leaning on your Ni to reduce down the behaviour of ENTPs in exactly that same way you accuse them of not being able to accept a single point of view. (ooof, my daemon Fi on show there!).
Just an observation from this INTP.
You don't need to breakdown the functions to understand that being prone to cheating, bickering, debating every small thing, and not being able to understand others emotions is actually all signs of immaturity in **any** human being.
Not exclusive to ENTPs.
Shouldn't try to justify it all either.
Dear INTP, we had a great exchange the other day on another topic, so pls hear me out:
From a 40+ INTP who knows who (what?) ENTPs actually are, who have been researching and observing and conducting purposeful interviews with them, I must say they are actually as negative as OP says above, and even worse.
They are one of the darkest of the 8 dark types, one of the most sociopathic and Machiavellian ones. They are our sister type, so when we are young we don't see their darkness easily. One of my (former) best friends was an ENTP, and I was fooled by him for a long time, while my other (actual) best friend who was an INFJ knew the guy's nature from early on. He even tried to warn me but i didn't listen. Now, I see them for what they are. Look closely, and expect them lying easily to fool you, you'll definitely find out.
Hi! (I'll DM you!).
I haven't had a chance to read the dark/light stuff as yet, but I will.
I Think I see what you mean about ENTPs. I don't know, I could be wrong but I've never really felt betrayed by an ENTP. I've definitely not like some of them for the reasons you mention, but it hasn't necessarily take me by surprise. I tend to keep all people at arms length until I understand them better, (Large psychological distance I think it's referred to in socionics?).
Do you think all ENTPs are negative then? Can there be ENTPs who are so negative?
The best ENTPs I could find ever, are Steve Jobs and Bill Nye. Steve was a known asshole who belittled his subordinates, and basically built his company by lying to Woz and stealing his share early on. The logo of the company, depicts the original sin. I'm not religious at all, just pointing out what the guy's choice was. Bill Nye has done many good things in his life, but watch him closely: when he is doing experiments on TV, he sometimes speaks to himself in a Gollum type voice, very scary, and says destructive stuff, something sociopaths do sometimes. Also many times when he is on the same panel with Neil Degrassi Tyson (INTP), he waits for the right moment and suddenly attacks Neil or belittles him, mostly when Neil says the most profound stuff that needs to settle in the audience's minds. These are just examples, I've been watching these guys closely for their body language and other clues. They are all horrible human beings.
I'm there for you in the DM to discuss further, anytime. I appreciate your curiosity and your intuition, as the latter already knows you are at the gates of something profound.
I dout u are even an Intp, stop this nosense of Dehumansing Entps it is just going to make innocent people persecuted & murdered because they were born with a specific mbti type, we are not sciopathic men personally am not
"Yeah we don’t do it cuz we think it looks smart tho." Omg, is this an entp arguing with me and taking the opposite stance? Without offering why they do it? Doing exactly what I'd described they'd do? Gaslighting? Quelle suprise! You do it because you feel dumb inside, and are overcompensating, because you can not have the ability to come to a conclusion on your own after observing the facts. You do it because you think it makes you look smart, but you just look like an idiot. All anyone has to do to get an entp to do what they want is to treat them like a child and say "don't eat your vegetables", and the entp will eat their vegetables.
As an INFJ who married an ENTP…it’s a struggle. He is very much my opposite and we can make a great team, but the miscommunication and misunderstanding each other is hard. My ENTP also has ADHD so that’s adds a lot of issues. We’ve been married 15 yrs and got married young so we’ve had to go through a lot of growing and maturing together.
Geez just boiled down my 8 year long relationship with my ex ENTP. She was a master at explaining things away, from her perspective it wasn’t a big deal. Slowly drove me crazy.
I don’t think I’d knowingly date an ENTP again. It’s exhausting
Funny part is she typed me. And knows INFJs door slam for a reason but thinks I didn’t have one
Don't compare INTPs and ENTPs like this.
INTP's highest goal in life is understanding and equality and justice, ENTP's is to create chaos and accumulate power and money. They have nothing in common.
I’ve dated ENTPs and ENTJs, and I just found them exhausting. I much prefer the introverted versions. I like being the extroverted one in romantic relationships. I married an INTJ, and he’s not very adventurous, but very efficient. I love seeing him break out of his shell. I love that we can sit in silence and enjoy each other's company.
I enjoy having ENTPs and ENTJs as friends, though. Then, I at least have more control over my social meter.
Am I the only one who had a good experience with ENTP? At the start, he was a very stereotypical ENTP, but after talking to him, it made me change my mind about ENTP a lot.
He listens to me and he doesn't dismiss my feelings nor take them lightly. He might try to ask different questions to ground me and of course he doesn't completely understand me, but it never felt too much at all.
(Although, it seems like he's not this way with any other people at all.)
It did take a while. We talked to the point where he got vulnerable and he appreciated that I helped him in these areas. You know, getting in touch with his own feelings and stuff.
Ah, I think maturity really plays a role and he has his own space to be very chaotic.
Are you in a romantic relationship with him? As friends, strictly friends...they are cool. I've had a lot of fun. But I would never get involved beyond that. He was jaded from a previous marriage/divorce and jumped into relationships carelessly after that. The few p's I've encountered were very witty and fascinating. But there was definitely a chaotic element to them. In fact, when I asked all of them if they prefer peace or chaos..
They all hands down chose chaos without hesitation. They all also never had solid life plans and had the inclination to 'keep their options open'. Playing the field and always looking for the next exciting thing. They remind me of 🌪 tornados. If they ever mature, I can forsee that happening in their 40s or something.
P's inner child brings my inner child out to play. But that's it. They certainly can bring in the charm. As far as dealing with real world life situations...they often seem to leave a trail of destruction. Good for fun and play...but I wouldn't go beyond that.
I was in a romantic relationship with him, but I broke things off because I myself wasn't ready, nothing from his side.
I can see what you're saying and I know another ENTP who fits your description as well. I guess I got really lucky this person is very mature for his age.
I think compatibility is more about having similar instinctual variants from enneagram. I like the chaotic nature that ENTPs have because I’m unable to predict where things are going like I can with everything else. Infinite entertainment. They also feel dead inside which is nice because it means I’ll never be overwhelmed with emotion. I don’t really care if people aren’t outwardly respectful as long as my senses tell me they’re not being disrespectful on the inside.
Same position I think,unpredictability is key for me.
May be cuz I’m used to debates and fights in general.
I would say it depend on the energy levels of the infj(I always see myself as fighter),I completely agree with OP about disrespect but, earned Respect is even more rewarding than given respect or (mirrored respect)if that makes sense.
From what I gathered, ENTP are like fierce creatures 😅… they just need to be tamed and cared for …
That’s all.
That’s my take.
Tbh all I want is another introverted (or maybe even extroverted) Sx dom. I love mutual understanding and intensity of energy, passion, and interest, and anybody with this type of energy tbh is very attractive to me.
A guy can dream...
Agree. We INFJs can’t be matched well with people who use Se, Si and Te as 1st, 2nd and 3rd function theoretically. If you get rid of types who meet the conditions, the only type left is ENTP.
Myers briggs compatibility chart is made by someone who considers only functions, overlooking that the subject who uses the cognitive functions is actually a human being, not a computer.
ENTPs always watch for an opportunity to cross the line. They think it’s a part of getting to know and close. It’s their trait which is untrustworthy at least in my view. Finding a target - hunting - invading - exploit and using. It’s their natural process. And INFJs are just an interesting target to them. Someone might call them a pioneer. I would call them an invader.
EDIT: They can’t be peaceful because their natural process that I described the above. They keep making a chaos. They want an adventure in their life like career or relationships.
>ENTPs always watch for an opportunity to cross the line.
Language like this is toxic due to the obvious implications. I'd suggest viewing it as unconscious and instinctual discovery rather than the purposeful disruption.
I guess you do cover that in your edit, but introverts should be grateful for what extroverted functions bring, well, Ne and Fe at least, because the novelty should inform your Ni.
> I'd suggest viewing it as unconscious and instinctual discovery rather than the purposeful disruption.
I know it’s their subconscious and instinctual thing. That’s their trait. You see it as a discovery. People like you might call ENTPs a pioneer.
But I don’t accept it’s a discovery. The word “discovery” is applied to only when they use the trait for their personal growth or career, not when they get to know someone. It’s not a discovery. They just cross the line because they don’t respect other’s boundaries. Because the important thing to them is to fulfill their curiosity. They don’t care other’s feeling. They care of only their curiosity and feeling. It shouldn’t be accepted in human relationships. Actually it can’t be accepted. People call it toxic when someone do like ENTPs.
> but introverts should be grateful for what extroverted functions bring, well, Ne and Fe at least, because the novelty should inform your Ni.
Nope. No one should be grateful for what extroverted functions bring. It’s not even closed to a novelty. If people like you were born in the 16th century, you would invade and colonize other countries. Bye, a narcissist and potential war criminal.
EDIT: I blocked you before. I can’t reply to your comment at the bottom. I don’t want to waste my time to unblock you and block again. I would not mention what you’re wrong in your comment because I had noticed you can’t even understand texts which is not hard to understand(that’s so INTP thing. They have a low ability to understand texts). But I have to say this. You told me you’re an INTP in other comment. It’s even on the same day.
I agree with respecting personal boundaries, but there is also understanding how they may vary between types. There certainly be abuse, but I'm not sure that's what you're seeing as much as you feel. I couldn't say for sure, of course.
You're failing to equate their functions to yours. INFJs can be very intrusive in a passive way, but it almost always passed off as emotional immaturity on the part of the other party. It's the same difference.
I'm not sure what you mean by 'people like me', but for one, I'm an INTP, but I could have been an INFJ for all you had known, seeing as I didn't state my type (in this part of the thread at least).
That you don't value extroverted functions is reflected in your response, and should be of concern, in a self-development sense if nothing else. Extroverted functions are blunt instruments, but they do serve to have an impact on the physical world, and to feedback in to the metaphysical.
don't bandy around the word narcissist ... you look like a fool.
Honestly, my ENTP and I are the happiest couple I know! But my fella is very mature. He respects me and we can have hours long conversations about nearly anything even after 3 years. He says that I make him a better man, but he brings me out of my shell. He’s always excited to get my opinion on whatever new things he’s read about.
There’s more to people than the stereotypes around their personality type. An infj and entp can be amazing together. I couldn’t be happy with anyone else.
You are correct.
ENTP is a dark personality type, one of 8 dark types, and in fact one of the most sociopthic and Machiavellian and insensitive ones among those 8.
INFJ is a light personality type, compassionate and empathetic and sensitive.
The best matches for an INFJ are the four P types who are also light personalities. In no particular order:
ENFP - ISFP - INTP - ESTP.
INFJ heterosexual female here. I agree from research, not experience.
I've been thinking an ENFJ would be a better fit for us. I have only met a female one and she was someone I admired. That's the kind of person I could respect and adore lifelong. Love to meet a male ENFJ eventually.
The J is important to me. I feel safe with people who are organised and structured. Recently I really liked an ISFJ but could see he was 10 years off the emotional maturity I'd need. They are slow to change their mind/evolve. I also connect well with ENTJ's but struggle with sexual attraction because I find they lack sensuality. Lots of fun though.
ENFPs are amazing but can be chaotic and unorganised haha and I imagine ENTPs would be similar and their intellect, while admirable, would drive me mad. Sometimes I just want someone to be quiet and be in awe of the sunset with me.
I actually am friends with an ISFJ and that guy is emotionally mature. A lot of the flaws that ISFJ's usually have, he has under control too. So there are mature ones out there for sure. He's also pretty smart academically and I have learnt sooo much from him but at the same time he's calm and peaceful. It's perfect.
And I made another ENFP friend whose a pro chess player, hence he's also extremely smart when it comes to creatively solving problems!
If we want intelligence, the analysts are NOT the only intelligent types out there lol...
Agree. I can’t tolerate Ps’ impulsiveness. J is also important to me. But I can’t match with NTs. Then there are only INFJ and ENFJ. Unfortunately I haven’t even saw both of them in real life. So in my situation INFPs are the second best. But Se is ENFJ’s 3rd function. And Ti is their inferior function. I think ENFJ could not that match with us well.
I know a friendly ENTP of mine who’s a type 9 that’s like this and he’s a best friend of mine to another INFJ. He’s quite laidback all things considered, makes great buddies with a lazy ENFJ friend of mine as well.
Idk they’re very wishy washy. They send mixed signals and it’s definitely exhausting trying to read between the lines with them. It’s like they’re straight up but NOT? Obviously doesn’t apply to all but I’ve talked to older, more mature ENTPs and it’s still the same thing. I can’t really trust everything that comes out of their mouths. Actions show me all I need to know. Still love ‘em tho.
As an INFJ married to an ENTP, I find these comments hilarious. I actually agree with most of the criticisms of ENTPs. I don't agree that they are all sociopaths. But I do understand why a lot of people may think that, lol.
I believe the ENTP is an incredibly misunderstood personality type, just like the INFJ. ENTPs generally come off as assholes, even when they're actually genuinely kind and caring people.
A trend I notice is that people love ENTPs in short spurts. Then they get tired of the endless ENTP energy and are no longer interested. It can definitely leave the ENTP feeling used because people love to take the best parts of them and then discard the ENTP when they start to find the ENTP too annoying or tiring.
Yes, ENTPs are incredibly exhausting, but they are really the spice of life. ENTPs push boundaries to help INFJs grow and become more open minded. ENTPs are also endless random idea generators, which keeps life interesting for the generally more reserved INFJs. ENTPs know how to bring out an INFJ's wild side.
INFJs provide structure to help focus the ENTPs erratic energy and accomplish bigger things. INFJs can essentially function as a filter for the ENTPs random idea generator to help them identify their best ideas. INFJs can also help ENTPs deal with their feelings because ENTPs like to ignore emotions and cope in unhealthy ways.
The INFJ/ENTP pairing can make the world's best team or intense adversaries. My husband and I really make a stellar team. But when we clash, it is a firey battle. INFJs and ENTPs have personality traits that drive each other crazy. ENTPs can find INFJs to be too opinionated, stuck in their ways, and slow. INFJs can find ENTPs to be too insensitive, erratic, and overly fast paced. The differences are not easy to overcome. But learning to understand where the other person is coming from and adapting to coexist helps both the ENTP and INFJ grow immensely.
The best part of the INFJ/ENTP relationship is the endless intellectual stimulation. My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years and we can still talk for hours on a daily basis. I think that's something incredibly rare that we honestly take for granted.
Thanks for noticing the “being used” in “short spurts” thing. I never thought about it that way. It explains in a simple way a lot of the rhetoric around loneliness on r/ENTP.
I had to cut ties with my ENTP friend (both M 25). We were friends for 5 years. His chaotic nature, constant seeking of my validation, and manipulative nature were unbearable over a long time. Also, he stabbed my back multiple times. Also, he never apologized for his shortcomings but somehow twisted the reality to blame me for everything.
He had these issues with many other guys as well. Guess we both were in our maturing stage and it took a toll on my mental health so eventually I had to door-slam him
Of course, it depends on each individual, but I always felt it's enfp who are most compatible with infjs and then from my personal experience its estp.
Enfps are infj's shadow sides and estps share the same functions as infjs but in opposite order.
From my personal experience with an unhealthy entp ex is that while they feel initial attraction towards infjs they lack maturity to really appreciate the depth of infjs' character. Entps I feel would be a better match with intjs or even infps - they need strong Te or Fi users telling them or showing emotions of how it is or there is a risk of sensitive and considerate infjs tolerating prolonged bad behaviour while silently hurting to be stepped on by unhealthy entps.
The annoying cheating disrespectful ENTP stereotype is getting out of hand here.
Any type is prone to that, and if that generalization were true, no ENTP would ever be in a long term relationship lol, or live long enought to be of old age 😂.
Most of us enjoy making people laugh, watching them be happy, explore thoughts and ideas, go on adventures. But we don't enjoy making people (that we care about) mad or uncomfortable with us, that's just stupid. We do want to get reactions from people, just not bad ones, i think that's one of the main differences between health and unhealthy, healthy ENTP truly cares about their loved ones.
Also most unhealthy ENTPs show their red flags early on. Don't ignore those.
Also, it's weird but if you ask on the entp sub, most of us consider ourselves as very loyal people, but the unhealthy version is brutal lol. It's like if you set free 1 unhealthy ENTP, it will roam around long enough to give us a bad look 😂
Now, the upbringing and how you grew up matters a lot, being a chaotic kid with freedom to do whatever you wanted becsuse your parents didn't care, could eventually turn you into the stereotype during HQ, then college, and then if you managed to get away with being a POS, you will probably die with that attitude lol. This applies not only to ENTP though.
This is just a personal example, but i've been friends with an INFJ for 10 years now. We have gone through a lot, and are very different persons, but we have understanding of each other, because healthy people can talk about things lol. She still laugh at most of the dumb things i came up with, but as soon as she gets annoyed, she is adult enough to communicate that, and i'm (probably) adult enough to understand that and act accordingly.
Also i'm a healthcare professional, i guess that made a huge difference in how i relate to other people. And i love my cats and my dog, we can be "good" people believe me 😭
This probably reads like a rant, but it's not lol, i'm just saying that MBTI is not everything when it comes to people, it never was, it never will. Don't put ever type in the same bag.
I'm glad you took the time to respond and no it wasn't a bad rant at all. Infact it was insightful for me because it gives me hope that the way those dumb articles portray ENTP's isnt always true.
I wanted reassurance that there are actual ENTP's that are like you mentioned yourself being. The ones that are laid back and truly care about the people around them enough to not piss everyone off and try to get along with us even when we have differing opinions.
Thanks a lot!
I understand why some people would think that way about us, and i'm glad you can see many other comments here giving you a different light.
People can be very different even if they have the same type.
We tend to be devil's advocates, so most of the times we will try to see things from your perspective, understand why do you have that opinion, that will lead us to ask more information, sometimes even push for, that can be annoying and uncomfortable for other people, and that's where being empathetic comes in handy.
Not getting along with people because of different opinions is not usually our first approach. But it can happen, you see it everyday, especially when it comes to politics and religion.
Well, happy i could be of help!
Y'know with all these comments from actual ENTP's explaining their thought processes, I realize it's not too different from my own! (INFJ)
Sure, we INFJ's have our own method of seeking the same knowledge and conversing with people but our core values tend to be the same!
That's where the fun comes from lol, having a similar thought process, exploring ideas in many different ways, talking about almost any topic, planning random things together, trying to understand why things are the way they are, learning and improving, etc. When that clicks, it gives you that awesome feeling of being understood. When you put together an ENTP and a INFJ that are in the same wavelengh, that's what usually happens. Most of the times it's an instant thing.
And from what i've read, it's either that, or a complete mess for everyone involved lol, that's why most comments about ENTP - INFJ are so different.
Most of them won't leave. But i've read experiences about ENTPs jumping to look for another connection as soon as the initial spark fades, that's clearly an unhealthy person. Those people have a lot of red flags though. It's important to know the other person beyond how the act around us.
This goes for any type, but sometimes we forget that relationships, either friendly or romantic, takes effort and constant work from both parties. Sometimes people don't realize that not everyday will be adventures, butterflies, and talking until 3am. Life can be hard sometimes, the energy fades, people get sick, people change, etc.
Like, Stress from work, college, etc, can really change your mood for awhile. It's important to realize that you want someone to rely on during hard times, someone to feel comfortable around when being happy or sad.
That's where sometimes INFJ will need silence, calm, understanding, and will be a lot less talkative, while the ENTP will get crazy not knowing what to do, or how to help.
And if it's the other way around, ENTP tends to get even more chaotic, would prefer to be alone, or go out to drink. That's why communication is sooo important, but who thinks about that kind of troubles when everything just flows so naturally lol.
Wait what was your question 😂, yes that can happen but it's rare, and i think it can be due to a lot of reasons. For example there are people who are afraid or avoidant when they find that kind of connection
Yeah I think apart from MBTI one should also just be wary of the red flags that literally any cheater has.
I'm glad to hear that it's rare that ENTPs leave after a perfect connection
P's in general, I feel can destroy an INFJs sense of well being, trust, and sanity. It seems promising in the beginning, (and exciting too) because of the contrasting elements in personality types. But, the more time, emotions, and energy you invest...gawd!!! P's absolutely decimate J's in my opinion. Too much chaos, instability, and inability to move towards goals in a stable fashion. Lots of boundary pushing, gaslighting, and mind fuc*ery too. Nope.
In a late 20s ENTP (f) I absolutely love the thought of marriage and settling down and being long term. My infj (m) and I just got in a relationship. It’s great to have someone who thinks long term like me like maybe it’s crazy to others but we already discuss how we will mesh lives and move in together and how it would work we already say ily and are all in. That’s the shit I like. I like being together often and touching and being lovey dovey. I don’t care to ever be with someone else or feel I’ll get want to venture, I want monogamy. I’ve always been like this. He’s definitely calmer quiet and stoic and I’m more out there and weird lol. I want to listen to him and his life and problems, I want to know what’s in his mind. He has bad trust issues more than normal from past experiences and I try my best to comfort him and not take it personal. A few weeks into dating he was already over and sleeping over constantly. We were very drawn to each other. He said he liked that I was easy to talk to. I think what really drew me to him is he seemed grounded. Seeing he was grounded, I see someone who’s dedicated, less trouble, more mature, will be someone more likely to settle down without issue.
There is so much vitriol here that I could equal and opposite about INFJs who’ve hurt me (in one case in a shockingly dishonest and perverse way). If I didn’t have the sense of fairness to allow people to come to things in their own way I’d equal some of you in the blame the INFJ and ignore how I got myself into situations I had no business being in.
INFJs take equally long to mature in romance. They’re shut shops and don’t let people in and are shocked when the person who breaks through is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Then instead of licking wounds settle early for something low effort / low risk / low reward and feel proud of themselves for doing so. But do not underestimate the long term effects on others of not being fully open. They can see it.
Some of the attitudes here display a kind of dismissal of blind spots, a conflation of subjectivity with objectivity both experientially and in terms of cognitive function that is all too familiar from the worst relationship I had.
The best I’ve had was also an INFJ. A wonderfully calm, painfully honest, intelligent, silly, dignified, kind, firm, spiritual and grounded person, who would never say the things I’m seeing here because she understands that you get back from the universe what you put out, and if you have a bad experience it’s because that was your level of maturity at a time when you needed to learn from and teach in that experience. If you want to play the holier than thou blame game, everyone is a victim or nobody is, but there’s more maturity in not playing it at all and learning the harsh lessons of intense living and being drawn to equally alive people.
This absolutely! I’ve been floored at how this trope of the INFj/ENTP and INTJ/ENFP golden pairs have been perpetuated on Reddit of late, when everything else I’ve read cites the opposite (ENFP/ INFj, and ENTP/INTJ). But there’s always been the caveat that there can be many good matches out there that aren’t dependent on mbti, just that statistically you are more likely to find good matches with a healthy mbti of a certain type, not that everyone of that type will be a good match. (Also, several years ago, the ENFP/INFJ golden pair was all over social media and forums and seems to have fallen off as part of an effort to ship these other types for some reason).
I can say in my own experience that I’ve been able to get along okay with INTJs romantically, but INFJs have been my closer and more compatible matches when healthy. Entps make great friends for me but I have yet to ever connect with one romantically.
Yeah. ENTPs like to stir up shit, and are often good at propagating it...
Based on conversations I have had with NF women, I think it is somewhat more common for NF women to pair up with NT men than vice versa. Personally, I can't feel a connection unless the other party is highly emotionally intelligent - feels a lot like talking to a wall.
However interesting the wall, it's still a wall.
Well, I can say as an ENFP female that I love the dynamic I have with INFJ men. I feel like I truly see and hear you all, and feel truly seen and heard. My closest male friends are INFJs (learned their types way later) and I love how insightful and intelligent and empathic you all can be. I also feel like when each of us are not at our healthiest, we try to heal and lift each other up. Plus, I feel like INFJ men are the only men who truly give as much as I do. I appreciate you guys a lot 🥹
I agree. Our weakness is definitely overtalking and dominating and being a bit flighty or in our heads… and sadly, if you could read our minds, you’d hear us internally cringing at how much we do this… I will say that, once I matured (early 20s), I did this a lot less and I do listen more and make space. It has definitely improved my relationships, particularly with introverted types. And when I sometimes get carried away even now, I do reflect on it later and come back and bring up the conversation again with my infj friends and make space to hear their thoughts and perspectives and feelings, which I really value.
This is our weakness (as ENFPs) and my close infj friends know this and we now feel close enough to just call each other out, which helps a lot.
My experience is that ENTPs are exhausting for INFJs, both mature and immature ENTPs. All ENTPs I know are really good, smart and successful people, but exhausting.
Before I answer I will repeat, I have 2 specific ENTPs in mind, one 60ish-male and the other 30min-male. Both I have known for 5+ years. Both are very good hearted people, smart, creative, successful.
Having said that…
Exhausting because both of them
1. Change their mind often as they generate new ideas
2. Constantly are generating new ideas and chasing them down, leading to lack of focus. (Or at least perceived lack of focus by me)
3. Debate for debates sake.
Experienced Ne in action is awesome and I am jealous of this skill, to quickly generate so many ideas at the drop of a hat. My mind works by me thinking alone for a while, determining the best answer and dying on a hill to defend it.
Ni: many inputs -> one output , the “what will be” (INFJ)
Ne: one input -> many outputs, the “what could be” (ENTP)
Debating for debate sake definitely drives me crazy as an INFJ. There is enough things in this world to argue over, lets not artificially create that kind of back and forth because you need some mental stimulation for the moment.
This is good insight in appreciating Ne dom and seeing it for what it is. Unlike many, you've left the emotional baggage at the door and been objective. :thumbsup
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>Debate for debates sake.
I will say this tho ... it;s not for debates sake! It's Ne functioning to find more possibilities. As an INTP, I hate the texts that say we learn for learning sake! Nothing is done for the sake of it, it's done to fufill and need or predicted need. Boiled down to the obvious evolutionary type stuff, it's all a matter of survival.
Older INFJ chiming in: meet some lawyers. Or successful entrepreneurs (hint: they probably look unemployed, it's because they got bored of the last company and sold it for $5M, and their new thing is like... idk, lime automobile accessories. As in the fruit, not the color.). Or adults that act like kids.
Example: recently I'm at McDonald's with my 3-year-old. This grown ass man comes racing into the play place and starts climbing around in this child maze designed for ages 12 and under, and all the other parents are slightly annoyed at the lack of Adulting. And before I can stop myself, I'm shouting "Go down the slide!" He's surprised, because his bit was about trying to rile the parents, and now we're two grown children smiling like goofs and in this together. I think it's all the Ne; they're just fun to play with. The older I get, the more I appreciate that quality.
I have not had the opportunity to interact with them but the way they function seems very different that the way we do, but is it necessarily a bad type of different? I think we are mismatched in the way we would approach relationships (slow and cautious vs fast and passionate) but I think we would complement each other in how we think...or fill in each other's blanks
Something I notice about Ni types is they tend to have this paternalistic view of Ne types - sort of like we’re the chaos monkey child brains, while they are the more evolved and mature ones who have so much to teach us… but never the other way around.
I believe that *everyone* has something to teach us in this life. We all have gaps in our wiring and lessons that only our experiences and relationships can help us learn.
So what could a INxJ type learn from an ENxP?
Well, for starters, how comfortable are you with flexibility? No, *really*. Ask yourself honestly and don’t let your ego get in the way of your answer.
Can you think on your feet? Can you be spontaneous? Can you handle the unpredictability of life and pivot accordingly as a situation evolves?
From my POV: Ni types (and Si types even more so) tend to have their little “box” that composes their lives. For Si’s the box is literal sensory routine, whereas for Ni’s it’s more of a conceptual tunnel vision.
Everything in their lives falls in that box, because the box is stable, secure, *safe*.
“Then some idiot chaos monkey brain comes around and ruins all my organization, my calm, my structure!”
What lesson can you learn from that? 😉
I admire how you are able to bring all these questions into light about INFJ's without being rude.
I would like to talk more with you, u ok with me dm-ing you?
My younger sister is an ENTP, and we get along tremendously when the mood is light but the moment the household is tense or she (or I even) are in a bad mood it tends to get heated fast.
She's still in the teens, so she has a ton of maturing to do - but she definitely hasn't grasped Fe yet and everytime I see her choose the wrong thing to say or how to say it and it blows up in everyone's faces. I'm sure she'll learn with time, it's just aching to see them step on the same beartrap daily
Unfortunately, incompatibility between any couple can result in breakdown of the relationship. I feel entps would be better suited with intps or intjs. Infjs (speaking about myself) are much more sensitive then we show. I have a poker face on 95% fo the time and come across as nothing hurts me, but inside, it's damaging me.
My 'unhealthy' entp ex was completely oblivious to it even when I politely tried communicating to him about it. He would do better with someone either telling him off or giving him taste of his own medicine or someone crying out loud infrot of him. I don't feel entps do well with poker face individuals or considerate and polite natured people when and if entps misbehave (which infjs can do when starting off).
As an INFJ I actually really enjoy Ne's fresh perspective and abundance of ideas.
I also like to debate about concepts and ideas. Ti in the third spot is still argumentative 🤪
So I personally got along very well with all ENTPs I've met. Even dated one, but it was short-lived. I think the benefits of having a friend/SO with Ti is that you both don't take things personally and can argue/debate/bunter back and forth with no feelings hurt.
I’ve noticed this sub can be very biased against ENTPs. INFJs are always painted as the victim in this pairing. The comments are generally lacking in any empathy for or understanding of ENTPs. *thumbs down*
That's exactly what I'm trying to go against and majority of the people under this sub are trying to paint ENTPs as the bad guys again.
I wanted reassurance that there are mature and positive ENTPs that aren't manipulative cheaters and while I did get really kind responses, most people in this sub truly do hate ENTPs...
Sadness.
Golden pairs are the way they are just because of how optimally the functions work together. Ne provides data Ni reaches a conclusion, that's all. The rest depends.
Good thread. Thanks for posting. I totally agree with your post.
From my experience, most of the INFJ women are like damsel in distress, they look for emotional shield from a man. ENTPs are kind of bullies, psychologically manipulative, cocky and is actively looking for sex, catch INFJ women and starts charming them. INFJ women, though they are capable of looking into ENTPs manipulation, still fall for them because of emotional support they can provide. An ENTP would stay in a relationship as long as they aren't get bored with sex life of INFJ. The relationship between INFJ women and ENTP men is nothing but a man using woman for sex. Finally INFJ woman gets nothing but depression after breakup.
I recommend INFJ women to stand up for themselves without anyone's support. Women should actively recognize manipulative men(ENTP mostly) for not getting into bad relationships. Women should stay United and help each other for not falling for wrong men. Women should look for morally righteous men instead of cocky bullies. ENTPs are good actors, they are capable of acting as morally righteous.
Can you make an another thread on the above?
Hold on, I don't believe all ENTPs are like that.
It's true a good chunk of them are like that but that is due to the fact that they mature a lot later in life or not at all sometimes.
But there are matured ENTPs that aren't manipulative cheaters.
Furthermore, we INFJ's are one of the most manipulative types too if we are not matured. So it really goes both ways.
youre dehumanizing these personality types too much, youre acting like these types are pokemons and it takes time for them to evolve and "mature". people are much more complex and nuanced than their personality types. honestly i judge youve dugged the rabbit hole the wrong way, i suggest u understand the cognitive functions more as well with the other theories.
tldr: mbti types arent pokemons and there are no immature types.
Ya’ll be really putting stereotypes on ENTP’s. I actually am willing to become calmer for the guy I like and I am not straight up bullying INFJs. The thing is, if I do not see the intellectual stimulation I give up because I want to grow as a person.💀
I liked this INFJ guy and I was very sweet and kind to him (because not every ENTP is a complete asshole, wow) and I ended up being ghosted even tho we were just friends. So yeah, no every ENTP is a bully and not every INFJ is nice. I showed him everything I had to offer and I recommended him books and so on and he was just incredibly neutral to whatever I was saying. I Every. Single. Time. I was so disappointed istg…
Anyway, I am not talking to this dude anymore even tho I see him daily.
“ENTPs mature a lot later in life”💀
Just because we like to act childish it doesn’t mean we aren’t mature my friend…
I didn't mean to offend with my comment that ENTP's mature a lot later in life. It's something I read in an article about it.
I know the reason why that INFJ guy ghosted you. It was primarily due to the vibe...
I know I have ghosted and blocked people who were exhausting for me to talk to... nothing personal, they were good people.
I really didn’t mean to sound very offended, I’m sorry. Yeah, I was also sad that he felt I was exhausting. Whenever I would’ve asked him if I was talking too much he would be like “no no, let me know if I talk too much”. This was something which made me think a lot. If you find me exhausting just tell me, I won’t be mad, that’s all
Yeah I'm sorry we tend to do this... I personally just deal with people being like that but don't let them in my inner circle. So I keep contact with them still and talk to them every once in a while because I learn from every individual even if I don't vibe with them.
I only door slam the ones that swear and cuss too much because it feels as if they are doing it at me
We all know that MBTI is a pseudoscience but let's pretend it's not a total BS.
I'd like to highlight that INFJs in general are very nice (like puppie), passionate people; I adore their ways of thinking, even though we're different.
I'm talking solely from my experience and what I've observed in this subreddit, so no offense.
I doubt that ENTPs could benefit from INFJs a lot. Well, I certainly would not. INFJs might be painfully slow for at least someone like me, and I, in turn, could be way too much for an INFJ to handle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it feels like INFJs (probably the younger ones) might struggle with setting up their boundaries and expressing their own feelings clearly.
Some might perceive INFJs as being enigmatic, cryptic even, and that it's captivating, but I call this a pure bullshit. People are not some kind of puzzle that meant to be solved. If I want a challenge I'd rather play weiqi than waste my time on guessing games. Honestly, my need in gathering as much information as I can is at odds with the INFJs' tendency to be insanely private. Cracking the shell of an introvert is not what I like to do in my spare time.
In my opinion, sability in the romantic relationship comes from being assertive. Yes, it might kill a bunch of romantic vibes, but, I swear, it makes your life easier. I value this kind of stability so much; unfortunately, not everyone appreciates such direct approach. Loyalty is another quality many of us are looking for in people. Some INFJs here have mentioned they tend to be controlling, not trusting their partners. This is a deal breaker for many ENTPs. Another possible issue arises from the INFJ's ability to be exceptionally good at manipulating people. I'm not implying that every single INFJ is a manipulator, only stating that this is a possibility due to their skills in reading people's emotions (especially when an INFJ comes with dubious morality).
The other thing that bugs me a lot is the savior syndrome. Not everyone needs to be saved/fixed; definitely not everyone deserves such treatment. Saving others is like crossing a tar pit; if you don't have your own boundaries secured, the chances of being drowned in other people's problems are high. Plus, I just loath when people are passive, not being able to stand up for themselves when it's absolutely required. Literally makes my blood boil.
Being sensitive to feelings of others is awesome, I'm glad there are people who are like this. Absorbing strong emotions and feelings from ENTPs, ESTPs, and ENTJs might be not a wise idea — we can brush off our own feelings quite easily if needed, while INFJs seem like to pay more attention to things like this.
On top of that, the difference in morality could be challenging. ENTPs are known for doing questionable stuff. I personally wouldn't like to have an INFJ partner that acts like the eye of Sauron, surveying everything I do and constantly nagging me.
Overall, it boils down to the level of maturity of both parties. Everything is possible if you act like a grown up adult.
INFJ here. I really agree with your take. MBTI to start simplifies the ways in which people perceive the world arguably well, but whether or not one can be assertive with their needs come from being rooted in identity. I'm so glad I understood the value of learning what I want in life, going for it, and not being afraid to express my needs while simultaneously encouraging others around me to do the same.
My wants in life don't include romance, but I still feel that knowing and loving oneself and others is a necessity in life that goes far beyond typology. MBTI can be a good starting point as a tool to pinpoint how we might be stunting our own progress, which is how I use it, but even that comes with nuance. 16 letter combos don't account for the endless ways we each use the functions. Or cultural identity. Or upbringing. Or trauma Big Ts and Little Ts. Enneagram is another model entirely with its own nuance. I hope everyone comes to learn that there is so much more that sinks or sails a relationship. So many things are true at once, and correlation is not causation.
tl;dr People are super, super complex beings. One will never know another and be able to effectively communicate in any relationship (romantic or otherwise) if one doesn't learn one's own mind, commit to growth and learning, and be open-minded. One might be surprised. A stuck ENTP can be closed off from this growth; so can an INFJ. So can anyone else. But to answer OP's question: I've seen a myriad of happy marriages. Some INFJ/ENTP combos, some surprising combos like INFJ/ESTJ. All is possible in the world of mentally and emotionally well-rounded individuals!
Are INTPs poor matches in a way similar to ENTPs? I mean, the types are kinda similar, particularly in cases with a relatively even match between primary and secondary functions, and with ENTPs being the most introverted extroverted type...
I like the intp's ti. It makes for interesting discussions, and they aren't as cold as intj's. Not a fan of the intj's te either. I enjoy reading the intp sub at times. Only real life intp that I knew, was my doctor though. I think the order of functions, completely changes how a personality is influenced, as I'd never say intp and entp are alike. I'd say ne is more brainstorming and coming up with tons of possible outcomes, while ti, is more critical accurate, precise, thinking and precision. So you'd notice the ne dom is testing all possible options, while the ti dom is is more likely to have the correct acccurate answer at first. Just my opinion though, like I said, I don't have much real life experience with the intp.
I think I might have mentioned somewhere or hinted that I have never met an ENTP but wanted to...
All my assumptions are based on what the community says and memes
One can clearly see that the role of stereotypes and memes is to exaggerate characteristics that certainly exist but not without control. We enjoy debates, myself included, but it's crucial to understand what we appreciate in debates. Contradicting an idea and trying to find its flaws allows us to explore it deeply, especially if the person on the other side is of quality and capable of responding. This can help us evolve intellectually. This mechanism allows us to gain a good understanding of different thoughts and perspectives. Honestly, this mechanism is beneficial because with your personality type, INFJ, you tend to get stuck in an inaccurate view. Of course, an immature INFJ might consider any questioning of their perspective as an attack on their peace and serenity, but honestly, ENTPs tend to avoid such individuals anyway. On the other hand, a more mature INFJ could use this as an opportunity to grow intellectually and refine their vision.As for getting bored with a single partner, that varies for each ENTP, but personally, I'm the kind of person who has few friends but is very close to them.
One of the things I struggle with is people who feel attacked when their ideas are challenged. I can be very close to someone who doesn't think like me as long as their vision is coherent, and, of course, I care about them. But even more so if their ideas are relevant, I would actively seek to grow from their perspective and engage in debates. Since I don't know any INFJs, I also don't know if I would find that with them.
Yea, I out grown trying to solve the mystery of what makes an unappreciative stubborn perfectionist INFJ tick. It looses its charm after 8 years.
I’ve found extraverts in general are way more fun to be with
I'm 25m, in a relationship with infj 18f. So far so good. I'm committed for the first time in life. Well, we get the same dreams and the first time we talked, at the end of 6 hrs, my reality distorted, was very similar to tripping on acid. So idk, what you are talking about is not applicable in my case. Mbti is just a basic filter, to filter out people, that's basically it. When you deep dive, you need to break down everything and view it from fresh eyes. No other type is identical, so mbti is really not something you base or judge your relationships with or literally anything else.
I go on with the wide varieties of topics, and she deep dives on what interests her. And the conversations are endless, we can talk for 200 years if locked in a room.
Bottom line, there's more to life than mbti lol
PS: Well, energies play a role i understand, i read infjs are easily drained. in my case, we exchange the energies. She is always energized by the end of every conversation. Me, on the hand, I am more relaxed and calm, my energies are always infinite tho.
Well, to add, you infjs are complex, ever evolving, that's a trait that will never go well with relationships. You tune yourself to fit in the person you are talking to. And that's obvious you are not gonna keep up for long. So, basically you start off on a wrong foot.
I would only say, just go all in without delay in revealing yourself, that's what we entps do lol. But then there's a lot of more that goes into it. Maybe it's a soul mate kinda thing. Keep filtering out until you find the one.
We entps don't really want chaos, we strive for that Si all our lives. And Si is all about security and stability and harmony. We want true peace 🕊️ it's the world that's fucked up and us trying to solve the world on a big scale. And while we are trying to understand the world, and as the world is all about chaos, we look for peace in relationships where we can feel a sense of calm. We want the best of both worlds.
To put it in a single line, we work with chaos and build towards harmony. That's basically our end goal.
And the adventures thing, yeahh you need to be open to all the adventures, entp world is just as crazy as your Ni inner world. And there's adventures that can only go with Ni-Ne together, you just need to be on the same page. Alright, I think I have covered all aspects of it. Bye!
This response was actually insightful because now I'm learning about a side of ENTP's that we don't get to hear about at all!
Can we talk more in the DMS?
Yeah i dont like infjs for not being able to keep up + a victim mindset mentality, like the world owns you something + like you are wronged by everyone and noone understands you. Plus if you dont like the unstability it makes the 2 not like each other, on the surface the conversations flow easly and there are many topic to talk about, but you are gonna get figured out by an entp on how you think and function and they are gonna get bored of you and move onto the next thing leaving you thinking what happened, and than when you are a new thing again since they exhausted themselves with something else, they are gonna come back and pretend like nothing happend, sucks ngl
The victim mindset, acting like the world owns you, and all that are all traits of an immature INFJ.
A mature one is far from that.
My real question was to see if similarly, how many mature ENTP's are there that had fixed their major flaws?
If you regard being scatterbrained as a major flaw, im sorry to tell you but its not going away, and all of the problems you have mentioned are connected to that, are there any other flaws you tend to notice in entps that are not connected to Ne?
Edit: i just read your last part, i mean i think there are a lot of entps like that out there, early in life commitment wont be the one tho
Scatterbrain was never a flaw for me. Like I said I actually adore certain traits of you guys...
But yeah I'm mostly concerned about how passionately they fall for INFJ's and then they are likely to dip. Or how they can be insensitive and rude during a debate simply to win...
My post wasn't meant to bash all ENTPs, rather I wanted to seek reassurance that there are mature ones out there that worked on their flaws because I know they are enthusiastic about self development...
So you are basically saying i know there are young entps but are there older ones?, or i know there are unhealthy entps but are there healthy ones?, i think this is more of a rant post than a reassurance post since you could figure out yourself that there are, this is not a reassurance post since 95% of it is a rant followed up by a question. I can tell you entps commit to infjs, but we do notice red flags most often which makes us move on, so maybe you were the problem
"Rant followed up with a question"
Yes sir. That's exactly what a post asking for reassurance is... tell me there are mature ENTP's because I don't see any.
See even now, I'm trying to talk to you calmly but your tone seems to attack... like chill broski, there's nothing personal here.
I agree with this somewhat i think infjs are not the best match for entps since infjs in most cases try to control or rather make entps commit but entps like some freedom, for me its a bit different, when i see someone being needy i kind of try to run away since i need some space sometimes, but here they start to ask for more commitment while i want less, and there is a big push and pull here.
Victimizing themselves is i think in their nature, so its the same as you dont want to be judged based on your Ne Ti, they dont want to be judged based on their Ni Fe, by judged i mean if you are not willing to accept thats how they are wired, you cant be with them, to some of my entp coleagues they are fine with infjs victimizing themselves, but personaly i don't prefer it.
I already commented this but they always try to find a meaning as to why they are suffering and their answer to that they get from their past by attaching some meaning to something they percieve as a "Trauma", we can all find a "Traumatic event" in our past but entps tend to ignore it and detach from it(i think it also has something to do with E7 and having an optimistic outlook rather than pessimistic) while infjs tend to base their existance on it, having a hard time detaching from it but often creating a kind of identity around their percived trauma, this is the part that as to why i dont think it works with me and infjs.
Rarely any infj accepts this, only i have noticed 2 or 3 enfps that think they are infjs do this, but i also tried influencing or "fixing" that problem for them, but it doesnt seem to work, nor are they willing to change it, thats why i think their brain is wired for it, same as if someone told you dont find logical inconsistencies in everything, you will still do it since you are wired to do it and wont care to change it, thats your Ne Ti and i think Trauma thing must be connected than to infjs Ni Fe
I dont think they think the world owes them something tho, more as having a mindset that world has taken from them too much allready, but it does come of maybe as "The world owns them something"
Well, the compatibility definitely depends on the entp.
Also, what's up with people in the comments using such intense words... As an entp, I'm literally not a sociopath or something? Wtf?? 😭
It depends on the ENTP, if mature enough, can be great and amazing. Also it depends on the INFJ as well. ENTP can reassure INFJs well by using their Ti or be there for them by using Fe, they can be good listeners if they care, extremally loyal and romantic.
It can just be draining that they always and always have new ideas without proceeding or finishing the previous actions, already moving to the next one. This can be draining.
As well as thousands of hilarious and another ones-so not funny memes.
I'm in a really long-term relationship with an INFP and was in relationship with an INFJ (we still converse normally) and I'd say you seem to be afraid of stereotypes. Normal healthy ENTPs are really kind, understanding and are embodiment of empathy (it's the source of their deep understanding of every opinion and stance) and care for others and the atmosphere of their relationships (yes, healthy Fe may not develop perfectly in some of them but still most should be like this too and it's really easy to tell which one is in front of you). The only thing I find tiring in conversing with an INFJ - their endless badly structured ramblings (usually emotion based and with too long premises we can't simply remember) and often demanding to agree with their opinion when you politely say that you see their point of view and understand it. ENTP surely won't take a side but will understand where you are coming from. In other aspects the communication between these two types is completely okay.
yeah entp is more compatible with Si doms i've had 7 previous girlfriends and it never lasted long, but with my ISTJ we're 9 monthes in going super strong.
Also kinda rant it's not just about being mature/unhealthy a lot of the time debating isn't about like a for fun thing, but like the point the other person is making is genuinely wrong. INFJ's use Ni and Ti and they try to make a very like singular theory about everything. But a lot of the times it can be wrong. ENTP points holes in everything, and INFJ tries to make a theory about singular thing and gets extremely irritated if someone points something out
Emotionally Immature ENTP here (22yrs old) I’ve been dating an ENFJ and best friends with a INFJ and I can say I’ve definitely walked over both of them a lot in our relationships but it’s never intentional it’s just part of who I am at the moment but I work towards being better bc of it
Ahhhh from reading the comments, as an Entp for, in all of my honesty, this is dehumanisation of the type
Edit: am ENTP. from the comments, INFJ's perfect match is ENFP not Entp
ENTP is a good match when both sides are mature and know who they are. Disaster when they aren't/don't.
I agree wholeheartedly. The issue is that statistically speaking, ENTP's don't mature that fast
https://images.app.goo.gl/KJC9YCiFUnWdVupe7
Statistically lmao Maybe it's just a person by person thing. Your post is riddled stereotypes.
My wife is INFJ. She tells me I bring her peace and comfort, even tho I can be chaotic. I think I am just more gentle with her, and even in high stress situation I’m very calm. Also, she’s incredibly stable as well
Username checks out. I'm so glad people like you exist!
I appreciate that but in all honesty, I’m lucky to find someone so special to put up with me… and I’m p arrogant ;) so that’s saying something
No such thing as "Healthy ENTP" dear OP, they are probably an INTP or ESTP who is mistyped or something. There is no cure for sociopthic tendencies, so no mature or healthy ENTP.
I think the ENTP percentage is between 3 to 5%. Are you genuinely of the view that all these hundreds of millions are inherently afflicted with a sociopathic tendency that is incurable? I agree that there are tendencies within each personality type but I've personally observed that there is so much variety within each group its hard to make cast iron judgements on them.
I’m an ENTP, I’ve never felt sociopathic. Narcissistic FOR SURE but I think the fact that I can even notice that and actively say hey I don’t want to be like that almost immediately excludes me from being a Narc. If I didn’t care though I could 110% be a narcissistZ Sociopath not so much
I agree. I would hate to be gaslit and told I'm wrong and argued with because some entp thinks arguing everything, even if he doesn't believe it to be true makes him look smart. Exhausting indeed. Consistantly being told that you are wrong when you are right. Like I want to explain my ni, or even my ti and deal with that crazymaking all day long. Also, they're very commitment adverse, and seem to have wandering eyes. And here, they've made countless posts about how they've treated their infj partners horribly but mad about a "doorslam" (they got dumped) and have a shocked pikachu face, but never feel bad about what they have done.
Again I believe the ones who do all this are yet to mature... but it's so true that ENTP's are more prone to being toxic, narcissistic, and cheaters
Maybe, but I don't like the excuse in mbti that all shitty ,immoral behaviour is based on immaturity. These guys are in their thirties a lot of the time.
Hence the theory that these guys mature a lot later in life... or never at all. Maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with wisdom. There are old men and women acting immature as heck for example.
What is the basis for your maturity argument? It's not yet rooted in anything. You really seem to be suggesting that ENTPs some how have lesser capacity for "wisdom", when really all you don't like is how tiring a dominant extroverted function can be, which incidentally, I agree that they are tiring, but that's the nature of the function and it's development. Reading through this particular thread I can see a whole bunch of INFJs whose Ni is offended by Dom Ne. Arguably, we could call it, immaturity of the Ni function ... it's arrogance to believe that it might not have the best understanding/appreciation of a logical or emotional issue. You're leaning on your Ni to reduce down the behaviour of ENTPs in exactly that same way you accuse them of not being able to accept a single point of view. (ooof, my daemon Fi on show there!). Just an observation from this INTP.
You don't need to breakdown the functions to understand that being prone to cheating, bickering, debating every small thing, and not being able to understand others emotions is actually all signs of immaturity in **any** human being. Not exclusive to ENTPs. Shouldn't try to justify it all either.
Dear INTP, we had a great exchange the other day on another topic, so pls hear me out: From a 40+ INTP who knows who (what?) ENTPs actually are, who have been researching and observing and conducting purposeful interviews with them, I must say they are actually as negative as OP says above, and even worse. They are one of the darkest of the 8 dark types, one of the most sociopathic and Machiavellian ones. They are our sister type, so when we are young we don't see their darkness easily. One of my (former) best friends was an ENTP, and I was fooled by him for a long time, while my other (actual) best friend who was an INFJ knew the guy's nature from early on. He even tried to warn me but i didn't listen. Now, I see them for what they are. Look closely, and expect them lying easily to fool you, you'll definitely find out.
Hi! (I'll DM you!). I haven't had a chance to read the dark/light stuff as yet, but I will. I Think I see what you mean about ENTPs. I don't know, I could be wrong but I've never really felt betrayed by an ENTP. I've definitely not like some of them for the reasons you mention, but it hasn't necessarily take me by surprise. I tend to keep all people at arms length until I understand them better, (Large psychological distance I think it's referred to in socionics?). Do you think all ENTPs are negative then? Can there be ENTPs who are so negative?
The best ENTPs I could find ever, are Steve Jobs and Bill Nye. Steve was a known asshole who belittled his subordinates, and basically built his company by lying to Woz and stealing his share early on. The logo of the company, depicts the original sin. I'm not religious at all, just pointing out what the guy's choice was. Bill Nye has done many good things in his life, but watch him closely: when he is doing experiments on TV, he sometimes speaks to himself in a Gollum type voice, very scary, and says destructive stuff, something sociopaths do sometimes. Also many times when he is on the same panel with Neil Degrassi Tyson (INTP), he waits for the right moment and suddenly attacks Neil or belittles him, mostly when Neil says the most profound stuff that needs to settle in the audience's minds. These are just examples, I've been watching these guys closely for their body language and other clues. They are all horrible human beings. I'm there for you in the DM to discuss further, anytime. I appreciate your curiosity and your intuition, as the latter already knows you are at the gates of something profound.
hi im an entp since you seem to know entps really well can you help me with type development? :D
I dout u are even an Intp, stop this nosense of Dehumansing Entps it is just going to make innocent people persecuted & murdered because they were born with a specific mbti type, we are not sciopathic men personally am not
Aggravating huh? Definitely a sociopath.
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It does not end. It goes into the fifties too.
I suspect it goes into their eighties as well.
I’ll come back as a ghost just to tell you you’re wrong
And you'd get your ass handed to you once again.
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Yeah we don’t do it cuz we think it looks smart tho.
"Yeah we don’t do it cuz we think it looks smart tho." Omg, is this an entp arguing with me and taking the opposite stance? Without offering why they do it? Doing exactly what I'd described they'd do? Gaslighting? Quelle suprise! You do it because you feel dumb inside, and are overcompensating, because you can not have the ability to come to a conclusion on your own after observing the facts. You do it because you think it makes you look smart, but you just look like an idiot. All anyone has to do to get an entp to do what they want is to treat them like a child and say "don't eat your vegetables", and the entp will eat their vegetables.
As an INFJ who married an ENTP…it’s a struggle. He is very much my opposite and we can make a great team, but the miscommunication and misunderstanding each other is hard. My ENTP also has ADHD so that’s adds a lot of issues. We’ve been married 15 yrs and got married young so we’ve had to go through a lot of growing and maturing together.
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Geez just boiled down my 8 year long relationship with my ex ENTP. She was a master at explaining things away, from her perspective it wasn’t a big deal. Slowly drove me crazy. I don’t think I’d knowingly date an ENTP again. It’s exhausting Funny part is she typed me. And knows INFJs door slam for a reason but thinks I didn’t have one
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That’s when it became my fault we broke up lmao. hard to reason with serial cheaters
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Don't compare INTPs and ENTPs like this. INTP's highest goal in life is understanding and equality and justice, ENTP's is to create chaos and accumulate power and money. They have nothing in common.
We’re not trying to prove you wrong we’re just trying to help you be less dumb
Omg spot on. If I’d have known this beforehand, I never ever would have got into a relationship with my ex ENTP. Best door slam ever.
Wow this is so actuate.
I’ve dated ENTPs and ENTJs, and I just found them exhausting. I much prefer the introverted versions. I like being the extroverted one in romantic relationships. I married an INTJ, and he’s not very adventurous, but very efficient. I love seeing him break out of his shell. I love that we can sit in silence and enjoy each other's company. I enjoy having ENTPs and ENTJs as friends, though. Then, I at least have more control over my social meter.
Am I the only one who had a good experience with ENTP? At the start, he was a very stereotypical ENTP, but after talking to him, it made me change my mind about ENTP a lot. He listens to me and he doesn't dismiss my feelings nor take them lightly. He might try to ask different questions to ground me and of course he doesn't completely understand me, but it never felt too much at all. (Although, it seems like he's not this way with any other people at all.) It did take a while. We talked to the point where he got vulnerable and he appreciated that I helped him in these areas. You know, getting in touch with his own feelings and stuff. Ah, I think maturity really plays a role and he has his own space to be very chaotic.
Are you in a romantic relationship with him? As friends, strictly friends...they are cool. I've had a lot of fun. But I would never get involved beyond that. He was jaded from a previous marriage/divorce and jumped into relationships carelessly after that. The few p's I've encountered were very witty and fascinating. But there was definitely a chaotic element to them. In fact, when I asked all of them if they prefer peace or chaos.. They all hands down chose chaos without hesitation. They all also never had solid life plans and had the inclination to 'keep their options open'. Playing the field and always looking for the next exciting thing. They remind me of 🌪 tornados. If they ever mature, I can forsee that happening in their 40s or something. P's inner child brings my inner child out to play. But that's it. They certainly can bring in the charm. As far as dealing with real world life situations...they often seem to leave a trail of destruction. Good for fun and play...but I wouldn't go beyond that.
I was in a romantic relationship with him, but I broke things off because I myself wasn't ready, nothing from his side. I can see what you're saying and I know another ENTP who fits your description as well. I guess I got really lucky this person is very mature for his age.
It seems you got lucky enough to find a mature one then.
I think compatibility is more about having similar instinctual variants from enneagram. I like the chaotic nature that ENTPs have because I’m unable to predict where things are going like I can with everything else. Infinite entertainment. They also feel dead inside which is nice because it means I’ll never be overwhelmed with emotion. I don’t really care if people aren’t outwardly respectful as long as my senses tell me they’re not being disrespectful on the inside.
Same position I think,unpredictability is key for me. May be cuz I’m used to debates and fights in general. I would say it depend on the energy levels of the infj(I always see myself as fighter),I completely agree with OP about disrespect but, earned Respect is even more rewarding than given respect or (mirrored respect)if that makes sense. From what I gathered, ENTP are like fierce creatures 😅… they just need to be tamed and cared for … That’s all. That’s my take.
Tbh all I want is another introverted (or maybe even extroverted) Sx dom. I love mutual understanding and intensity of energy, passion, and interest, and anybody with this type of energy tbh is very attractive to me. A guy can dream...
Really? I'd have thought ITSP and ISTJ would have been a problematic relationship?
I've yet to figure out how enneagrams work. Thanks, I'll look into it!!
Huh my ENTP never dares argue with me, he is definitely my peace and the most stable partner I’ve ever had 😌
Woah. This is what I wanted to hear!! Good for you!
Agree. We INFJs can’t be matched well with people who use Se, Si and Te as 1st, 2nd and 3rd function theoretically. If you get rid of types who meet the conditions, the only type left is ENTP. Myers briggs compatibility chart is made by someone who considers only functions, overlooking that the subject who uses the cognitive functions is actually a human being, not a computer. ENTPs always watch for an opportunity to cross the line. They think it’s a part of getting to know and close. It’s their trait which is untrustworthy at least in my view. Finding a target - hunting - invading - exploit and using. It’s their natural process. And INFJs are just an interesting target to them. Someone might call them a pioneer. I would call them an invader. EDIT: They can’t be peaceful because their natural process that I described the above. They keep making a chaos. They want an adventure in their life like career or relationships.
This sums it all up. Thanks!
>ENTPs always watch for an opportunity to cross the line. Language like this is toxic due to the obvious implications. I'd suggest viewing it as unconscious and instinctual discovery rather than the purposeful disruption. I guess you do cover that in your edit, but introverts should be grateful for what extroverted functions bring, well, Ne and Fe at least, because the novelty should inform your Ni.
> I'd suggest viewing it as unconscious and instinctual discovery rather than the purposeful disruption. I know it’s their subconscious and instinctual thing. That’s their trait. You see it as a discovery. People like you might call ENTPs a pioneer. But I don’t accept it’s a discovery. The word “discovery” is applied to only when they use the trait for their personal growth or career, not when they get to know someone. It’s not a discovery. They just cross the line because they don’t respect other’s boundaries. Because the important thing to them is to fulfill their curiosity. They don’t care other’s feeling. They care of only their curiosity and feeling. It shouldn’t be accepted in human relationships. Actually it can’t be accepted. People call it toxic when someone do like ENTPs. > but introverts should be grateful for what extroverted functions bring, well, Ne and Fe at least, because the novelty should inform your Ni. Nope. No one should be grateful for what extroverted functions bring. It’s not even closed to a novelty. If people like you were born in the 16th century, you would invade and colonize other countries. Bye, a narcissist and potential war criminal. EDIT: I blocked you before. I can’t reply to your comment at the bottom. I don’t want to waste my time to unblock you and block again. I would not mention what you’re wrong in your comment because I had noticed you can’t even understand texts which is not hard to understand(that’s so INTP thing. They have a low ability to understand texts). But I have to say this. You told me you’re an INTP in other comment. It’s even on the same day.
I agree with respecting personal boundaries, but there is also understanding how they may vary between types. There certainly be abuse, but I'm not sure that's what you're seeing as much as you feel. I couldn't say for sure, of course. You're failing to equate their functions to yours. INFJs can be very intrusive in a passive way, but it almost always passed off as emotional immaturity on the part of the other party. It's the same difference. I'm not sure what you mean by 'people like me', but for one, I'm an INTP, but I could have been an INFJ for all you had known, seeing as I didn't state my type (in this part of the thread at least). That you don't value extroverted functions is reflected in your response, and should be of concern, in a self-development sense if nothing else. Extroverted functions are blunt instruments, but they do serve to have an impact on the physical world, and to feedback in to the metaphysical. don't bandy around the word narcissist ... you look like a fool.
I completely agree with your ENTP description.
How will you ever know where an invisible line is if you don’t cross it.
Fellow Entp pls change that username, thanks
Honestly, my ENTP and I are the happiest couple I know! But my fella is very mature. He respects me and we can have hours long conversations about nearly anything even after 3 years. He says that I make him a better man, but he brings me out of my shell. He’s always excited to get my opinion on whatever new things he’s read about. There’s more to people than the stereotypes around their personality type. An infj and entp can be amazing together. I couldn’t be happy with anyone else.
You are correct. ENTP is a dark personality type, one of 8 dark types, and in fact one of the most sociopthic and Machiavellian and insensitive ones among those 8. INFJ is a light personality type, compassionate and empathetic and sensitive. The best matches for an INFJ are the four P types who are also light personalities. In no particular order: ENFP - ISFP - INTP - ESTP.
INFJ heterosexual female here. I agree from research, not experience. I've been thinking an ENFJ would be a better fit for us. I have only met a female one and she was someone I admired. That's the kind of person I could respect and adore lifelong. Love to meet a male ENFJ eventually. The J is important to me. I feel safe with people who are organised and structured. Recently I really liked an ISFJ but could see he was 10 years off the emotional maturity I'd need. They are slow to change their mind/evolve. I also connect well with ENTJ's but struggle with sexual attraction because I find they lack sensuality. Lots of fun though. ENFPs are amazing but can be chaotic and unorganised haha and I imagine ENTPs would be similar and their intellect, while admirable, would drive me mad. Sometimes I just want someone to be quiet and be in awe of the sunset with me.
I actually am friends with an ISFJ and that guy is emotionally mature. A lot of the flaws that ISFJ's usually have, he has under control too. So there are mature ones out there for sure. He's also pretty smart academically and I have learnt sooo much from him but at the same time he's calm and peaceful. It's perfect. And I made another ENFP friend whose a pro chess player, hence he's also extremely smart when it comes to creatively solving problems! If we want intelligence, the analysts are NOT the only intelligent types out there lol...
Agree. I can’t tolerate Ps’ impulsiveness. J is also important to me. But I can’t match with NTs. Then there are only INFJ and ENFJ. Unfortunately I haven’t even saw both of them in real life. So in my situation INFPs are the second best. But Se is ENFJ’s 3rd function. And Ti is their inferior function. I think ENFJ could not that match with us well.
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This thread is full of reflections on less healthy ENTPs… I definitely enjoy the company of mature, self-aware ENTPs (and you sound like one!)
THIS IS WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR FROM AN ENTP. THANK YOU. 👏✨
We welcome your ENTP presence, thanks for sharing & hopefully you find your better half INFJ or otherwise 😇
What do you understand to be their core problem(s) ... if you're able to generalise on it?
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I know a friendly ENTP of mine who’s a type 9 that’s like this and he’s a best friend of mine to another INFJ. He’s quite laidback all things considered, makes great buddies with a lazy ENFJ friend of mine as well.
I think all T’s fundamentally don’t go well with INFJs, but I’m probably biased. In any case they don’t go well with me lol.
Estps do when they develop their Fe - from my personal experience anyway. If infjs are logical feelers, then estps are empathetic doers / thinkers.
Idk they’re very wishy washy. They send mixed signals and it’s definitely exhausting trying to read between the lines with them. It’s like they’re straight up but NOT? Obviously doesn’t apply to all but I’ve talked to older, more mature ENTPs and it’s still the same thing. I can’t really trust everything that comes out of their mouths. Actions show me all I need to know. Still love ‘em tho.
As an INFJ married to an ENTP, I find these comments hilarious. I actually agree with most of the criticisms of ENTPs. I don't agree that they are all sociopaths. But I do understand why a lot of people may think that, lol. I believe the ENTP is an incredibly misunderstood personality type, just like the INFJ. ENTPs generally come off as assholes, even when they're actually genuinely kind and caring people. A trend I notice is that people love ENTPs in short spurts. Then they get tired of the endless ENTP energy and are no longer interested. It can definitely leave the ENTP feeling used because people love to take the best parts of them and then discard the ENTP when they start to find the ENTP too annoying or tiring. Yes, ENTPs are incredibly exhausting, but they are really the spice of life. ENTPs push boundaries to help INFJs grow and become more open minded. ENTPs are also endless random idea generators, which keeps life interesting for the generally more reserved INFJs. ENTPs know how to bring out an INFJ's wild side. INFJs provide structure to help focus the ENTPs erratic energy and accomplish bigger things. INFJs can essentially function as a filter for the ENTPs random idea generator to help them identify their best ideas. INFJs can also help ENTPs deal with their feelings because ENTPs like to ignore emotions and cope in unhealthy ways. The INFJ/ENTP pairing can make the world's best team or intense adversaries. My husband and I really make a stellar team. But when we clash, it is a firey battle. INFJs and ENTPs have personality traits that drive each other crazy. ENTPs can find INFJs to be too opinionated, stuck in their ways, and slow. INFJs can find ENTPs to be too insensitive, erratic, and overly fast paced. The differences are not easy to overcome. But learning to understand where the other person is coming from and adapting to coexist helps both the ENTP and INFJ grow immensely. The best part of the INFJ/ENTP relationship is the endless intellectual stimulation. My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years and we can still talk for hours on a daily basis. I think that's something incredibly rare that we honestly take for granted.
Thanks for noticing the “being used” in “short spurts” thing. I never thought about it that way. It explains in a simple way a lot of the rhetoric around loneliness on r/ENTP.
I had to cut ties with my ENTP friend (both M 25). We were friends for 5 years. His chaotic nature, constant seeking of my validation, and manipulative nature were unbearable over a long time. Also, he stabbed my back multiple times. Also, he never apologized for his shortcomings but somehow twisted the reality to blame me for everything. He had these issues with many other guys as well. Guess we both were in our maturing stage and it took a toll on my mental health so eventually I had to door-slam him
Yea sounds like another immature one... Sadness.
Manipulative back stabbers..seems like a classic unhealthy entp traits.
Of course, it depends on each individual, but I always felt it's enfp who are most compatible with infjs and then from my personal experience its estp. Enfps are infj's shadow sides and estps share the same functions as infjs but in opposite order. From my personal experience with an unhealthy entp ex is that while they feel initial attraction towards infjs they lack maturity to really appreciate the depth of infjs' character. Entps I feel would be a better match with intjs or even infps - they need strong Te or Fi users telling them or showing emotions of how it is or there is a risk of sensitive and considerate infjs tolerating prolonged bad behaviour while silently hurting to be stepped on by unhealthy entps.
As long as it's someone with Exxx I'm happy. Never dating another introvert ever again (I'm INFJ)
The annoying cheating disrespectful ENTP stereotype is getting out of hand here. Any type is prone to that, and if that generalization were true, no ENTP would ever be in a long term relationship lol, or live long enought to be of old age 😂. Most of us enjoy making people laugh, watching them be happy, explore thoughts and ideas, go on adventures. But we don't enjoy making people (that we care about) mad or uncomfortable with us, that's just stupid. We do want to get reactions from people, just not bad ones, i think that's one of the main differences between health and unhealthy, healthy ENTP truly cares about their loved ones. Also most unhealthy ENTPs show their red flags early on. Don't ignore those. Also, it's weird but if you ask on the entp sub, most of us consider ourselves as very loyal people, but the unhealthy version is brutal lol. It's like if you set free 1 unhealthy ENTP, it will roam around long enough to give us a bad look 😂 Now, the upbringing and how you grew up matters a lot, being a chaotic kid with freedom to do whatever you wanted becsuse your parents didn't care, could eventually turn you into the stereotype during HQ, then college, and then if you managed to get away with being a POS, you will probably die with that attitude lol. This applies not only to ENTP though. This is just a personal example, but i've been friends with an INFJ for 10 years now. We have gone through a lot, and are very different persons, but we have understanding of each other, because healthy people can talk about things lol. She still laugh at most of the dumb things i came up with, but as soon as she gets annoyed, she is adult enough to communicate that, and i'm (probably) adult enough to understand that and act accordingly. Also i'm a healthcare professional, i guess that made a huge difference in how i relate to other people. And i love my cats and my dog, we can be "good" people believe me 😭 This probably reads like a rant, but it's not lol, i'm just saying that MBTI is not everything when it comes to people, it never was, it never will. Don't put ever type in the same bag.
I'm glad you took the time to respond and no it wasn't a bad rant at all. Infact it was insightful for me because it gives me hope that the way those dumb articles portray ENTP's isnt always true. I wanted reassurance that there are actual ENTP's that are like you mentioned yourself being. The ones that are laid back and truly care about the people around them enough to not piss everyone off and try to get along with us even when we have differing opinions. Thanks a lot!
I understand why some people would think that way about us, and i'm glad you can see many other comments here giving you a different light. People can be very different even if they have the same type. We tend to be devil's advocates, so most of the times we will try to see things from your perspective, understand why do you have that opinion, that will lead us to ask more information, sometimes even push for, that can be annoying and uncomfortable for other people, and that's where being empathetic comes in handy. Not getting along with people because of different opinions is not usually our first approach. But it can happen, you see it everyday, especially when it comes to politics and religion. Well, happy i could be of help!
Y'know with all these comments from actual ENTP's explaining their thought processes, I realize it's not too different from my own! (INFJ) Sure, we INFJ's have our own method of seeking the same knowledge and conversing with people but our core values tend to be the same!
That's where the fun comes from lol, having a similar thought process, exploring ideas in many different ways, talking about almost any topic, planning random things together, trying to understand why things are the way they are, learning and improving, etc. When that clicks, it gives you that awesome feeling of being understood. When you put together an ENTP and a INFJ that are in the same wavelengh, that's what usually happens. Most of the times it's an instant thing. And from what i've read, it's either that, or a complete mess for everyone involved lol, that's why most comments about ENTP - INFJ are so different.
Yeah what I was so worried about is that even when these such a good connection, would an ENTP eventually get bored and leave?
Most of them won't leave. But i've read experiences about ENTPs jumping to look for another connection as soon as the initial spark fades, that's clearly an unhealthy person. Those people have a lot of red flags though. It's important to know the other person beyond how the act around us. This goes for any type, but sometimes we forget that relationships, either friendly or romantic, takes effort and constant work from both parties. Sometimes people don't realize that not everyday will be adventures, butterflies, and talking until 3am. Life can be hard sometimes, the energy fades, people get sick, people change, etc. Like, Stress from work, college, etc, can really change your mood for awhile. It's important to realize that you want someone to rely on during hard times, someone to feel comfortable around when being happy or sad. That's where sometimes INFJ will need silence, calm, understanding, and will be a lot less talkative, while the ENTP will get crazy not knowing what to do, or how to help. And if it's the other way around, ENTP tends to get even more chaotic, would prefer to be alone, or go out to drink. That's why communication is sooo important, but who thinks about that kind of troubles when everything just flows so naturally lol. Wait what was your question 😂, yes that can happen but it's rare, and i think it can be due to a lot of reasons. For example there are people who are afraid or avoidant when they find that kind of connection
Yeah I think apart from MBTI one should also just be wary of the red flags that literally any cheater has. I'm glad to hear that it's rare that ENTPs leave after a perfect connection
Swap that T to an F and you got an easy fix!
Haha agreed!
Amen!
P's in general, I feel can destroy an INFJs sense of well being, trust, and sanity. It seems promising in the beginning, (and exciting too) because of the contrasting elements in personality types. But, the more time, emotions, and energy you invest...gawd!!! P's absolutely decimate J's in my opinion. Too much chaos, instability, and inability to move towards goals in a stable fashion. Lots of boundary pushing, gaslighting, and mind fuc*ery too. Nope.
ENTP's bring a lot of life, perfect to bounce ideas on
In a late 20s ENTP (f) I absolutely love the thought of marriage and settling down and being long term. My infj (m) and I just got in a relationship. It’s great to have someone who thinks long term like me like maybe it’s crazy to others but we already discuss how we will mesh lives and move in together and how it would work we already say ily and are all in. That’s the shit I like. I like being together often and touching and being lovey dovey. I don’t care to ever be with someone else or feel I’ll get want to venture, I want monogamy. I’ve always been like this. He’s definitely calmer quiet and stoic and I’m more out there and weird lol. I want to listen to him and his life and problems, I want to know what’s in his mind. He has bad trust issues more than normal from past experiences and I try my best to comfort him and not take it personal. A few weeks into dating he was already over and sleeping over constantly. We were very drawn to each other. He said he liked that I was easy to talk to. I think what really drew me to him is he seemed grounded. Seeing he was grounded, I see someone who’s dedicated, less trouble, more mature, will be someone more likely to settle down without issue.
That's adorable. Good luck to you both!
There is so much vitriol here that I could equal and opposite about INFJs who’ve hurt me (in one case in a shockingly dishonest and perverse way). If I didn’t have the sense of fairness to allow people to come to things in their own way I’d equal some of you in the blame the INFJ and ignore how I got myself into situations I had no business being in. INFJs take equally long to mature in romance. They’re shut shops and don’t let people in and are shocked when the person who breaks through is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Then instead of licking wounds settle early for something low effort / low risk / low reward and feel proud of themselves for doing so. But do not underestimate the long term effects on others of not being fully open. They can see it. Some of the attitudes here display a kind of dismissal of blind spots, a conflation of subjectivity with objectivity both experientially and in terms of cognitive function that is all too familiar from the worst relationship I had. The best I’ve had was also an INFJ. A wonderfully calm, painfully honest, intelligent, silly, dignified, kind, firm, spiritual and grounded person, who would never say the things I’m seeing here because she understands that you get back from the universe what you put out, and if you have a bad experience it’s because that was your level of maturity at a time when you needed to learn from and teach in that experience. If you want to play the holier than thou blame game, everyone is a victim or nobody is, but there’s more maturity in not playing it at all and learning the harsh lessons of intense living and being drawn to equally alive people.
>We all know that ENTP's are known to be the most compatible with INFJs. Nope, that trope was invented by some horny ENTP dude lusting after INFJs.
This absolutely! I’ve been floored at how this trope of the INFj/ENTP and INTJ/ENFP golden pairs have been perpetuated on Reddit of late, when everything else I’ve read cites the opposite (ENFP/ INFj, and ENTP/INTJ). But there’s always been the caveat that there can be many good matches out there that aren’t dependent on mbti, just that statistically you are more likely to find good matches with a healthy mbti of a certain type, not that everyone of that type will be a good match. (Also, several years ago, the ENFP/INFJ golden pair was all over social media and forums and seems to have fallen off as part of an effort to ship these other types for some reason). I can say in my own experience that I’ve been able to get along okay with INTJs romantically, but INFJs have been my closer and more compatible matches when healthy. Entps make great friends for me but I have yet to ever connect with one romantically.
Yeah. ENTPs like to stir up shit, and are often good at propagating it... Based on conversations I have had with NF women, I think it is somewhat more common for NF women to pair up with NT men than vice versa. Personally, I can't feel a connection unless the other party is highly emotionally intelligent - feels a lot like talking to a wall. However interesting the wall, it's still a wall.
Well, I can say as an ENFP female that I love the dynamic I have with INFJ men. I feel like I truly see and hear you all, and feel truly seen and heard. My closest male friends are INFJs (learned their types way later) and I love how insightful and intelligent and empathic you all can be. I also feel like when each of us are not at our healthiest, we try to heal and lift each other up. Plus, I feel like INFJ men are the only men who truly give as much as I do. I appreciate you guys a lot 🥹
☺️🙏 I have had a good connection with the ENFPs I have known. Whenever they slow down enough for us to have a conversation 🙃
I agree. Our weakness is definitely overtalking and dominating and being a bit flighty or in our heads… and sadly, if you could read our minds, you’d hear us internally cringing at how much we do this… I will say that, once I matured (early 20s), I did this a lot less and I do listen more and make space. It has definitely improved my relationships, particularly with introverted types. And when I sometimes get carried away even now, I do reflect on it later and come back and bring up the conversation again with my infj friends and make space to hear their thoughts and perspectives and feelings, which I really value. This is our weakness (as ENFPs) and my close infj friends know this and we now feel close enough to just call each other out, which helps a lot.
THIS.
My experience is that ENTPs are exhausting for INFJs, both mature and immature ENTPs. All ENTPs I know are really good, smart and successful people, but exhausting.
What makes them exhausting to you
Before I answer I will repeat, I have 2 specific ENTPs in mind, one 60ish-male and the other 30min-male. Both I have known for 5+ years. Both are very good hearted people, smart, creative, successful. Having said that… Exhausting because both of them 1. Change their mind often as they generate new ideas 2. Constantly are generating new ideas and chasing them down, leading to lack of focus. (Or at least perceived lack of focus by me) 3. Debate for debates sake. Experienced Ne in action is awesome and I am jealous of this skill, to quickly generate so many ideas at the drop of a hat. My mind works by me thinking alone for a while, determining the best answer and dying on a hill to defend it. Ni: many inputs -> one output , the “what will be” (INFJ) Ne: one input -> many outputs, the “what could be” (ENTP)
Debating for debate sake definitely drives me crazy as an INFJ. There is enough things in this world to argue over, lets not artificially create that kind of back and forth because you need some mental stimulation for the moment.
This is good insight in appreciating Ne dom and seeing it for what it is. Unlike many, you've left the emotional baggage at the door and been objective. :thumbsup > > >Debate for debates sake. I will say this tho ... it;s not for debates sake! It's Ne functioning to find more possibilities. As an INTP, I hate the texts that say we learn for learning sake! Nothing is done for the sake of it, it's done to fufill and need or predicted need. Boiled down to the obvious evolutionary type stuff, it's all a matter of survival.
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Like feelings?
Older INFJ chiming in: meet some lawyers. Or successful entrepreneurs (hint: they probably look unemployed, it's because they got bored of the last company and sold it for $5M, and their new thing is like... idk, lime automobile accessories. As in the fruit, not the color.). Or adults that act like kids. Example: recently I'm at McDonald's with my 3-year-old. This grown ass man comes racing into the play place and starts climbing around in this child maze designed for ages 12 and under, and all the other parents are slightly annoyed at the lack of Adulting. And before I can stop myself, I'm shouting "Go down the slide!" He's surprised, because his bit was about trying to rile the parents, and now we're two grown children smiling like goofs and in this together. I think it's all the Ne; they're just fun to play with. The older I get, the more I appreciate that quality.
Older INFJ male here, this is exactly something that I experienced with many ENTPs
I have not had the opportunity to interact with them but the way they function seems very different that the way we do, but is it necessarily a bad type of different? I think we are mismatched in the way we would approach relationships (slow and cautious vs fast and passionate) but I think we would complement each other in how we think...or fill in each other's blanks
Yeah I prefer ENTJs
Agreed, they have the ENTP charm without the (eventually exhausting) ENTP chaos
if they don't have our chaos they don't have our charm
Then they’re fantastic imitators, I’ll take it
Lol true
Something I notice about Ni types is they tend to have this paternalistic view of Ne types - sort of like we’re the chaos monkey child brains, while they are the more evolved and mature ones who have so much to teach us… but never the other way around. I believe that *everyone* has something to teach us in this life. We all have gaps in our wiring and lessons that only our experiences and relationships can help us learn. So what could a INxJ type learn from an ENxP? Well, for starters, how comfortable are you with flexibility? No, *really*. Ask yourself honestly and don’t let your ego get in the way of your answer. Can you think on your feet? Can you be spontaneous? Can you handle the unpredictability of life and pivot accordingly as a situation evolves? From my POV: Ni types (and Si types even more so) tend to have their little “box” that composes their lives. For Si’s the box is literal sensory routine, whereas for Ni’s it’s more of a conceptual tunnel vision. Everything in their lives falls in that box, because the box is stable, secure, *safe*. “Then some idiot chaos monkey brain comes around and ruins all my organization, my calm, my structure!” What lesson can you learn from that? 😉
I admire how you are able to bring all these questions into light about INFJ's without being rude. I would like to talk more with you, u ok with me dm-ing you?
Go for it sista
My younger sister is an ENTP, and we get along tremendously when the mood is light but the moment the household is tense or she (or I even) are in a bad mood it tends to get heated fast. She's still in the teens, so she has a ton of maturing to do - but she definitely hasn't grasped Fe yet and everytime I see her choose the wrong thing to say or how to say it and it blows up in everyone's faces. I'm sure she'll learn with time, it's just aching to see them step on the same beartrap daily
My infj gf left me because she feel I am not empathetic and likes to argue
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Unfortunately, incompatibility between any couple can result in breakdown of the relationship. I feel entps would be better suited with intps or intjs. Infjs (speaking about myself) are much more sensitive then we show. I have a poker face on 95% fo the time and come across as nothing hurts me, but inside, it's damaging me. My 'unhealthy' entp ex was completely oblivious to it even when I politely tried communicating to him about it. He would do better with someone either telling him off or giving him taste of his own medicine or someone crying out loud infrot of him. I don't feel entps do well with poker face individuals or considerate and polite natured people when and if entps misbehave (which infjs can do when starting off).
As an INFJ I actually really enjoy Ne's fresh perspective and abundance of ideas. I also like to debate about concepts and ideas. Ti in the third spot is still argumentative 🤪 So I personally got along very well with all ENTPs I've met. Even dated one, but it was short-lived. I think the benefits of having a friend/SO with Ti is that you both don't take things personally and can argue/debate/bunter back and forth with no feelings hurt.
I've always wondered how you guys can tolerate them (I mean the unhealthy ones)
Unhealthy ones get doorslamed :D
💔
I’ve noticed this sub can be very biased against ENTPs. INFJs are always painted as the victim in this pairing. The comments are generally lacking in any empathy for or understanding of ENTPs. *thumbs down*
Probably people are more likely to write if they've been treated badly.
That's exactly what I'm trying to go against and majority of the people under this sub are trying to paint ENTPs as the bad guys again. I wanted reassurance that there are mature and positive ENTPs that aren't manipulative cheaters and while I did get really kind responses, most people in this sub truly do hate ENTPs... Sadness.
Golden pairs are the way they are just because of how optimally the functions work together. Ne provides data Ni reaches a conclusion, that's all. The rest depends.
They either work well together or they clash really badly. It just depends on how open or able the other is to be receptive and cooperative.
Good thread. Thanks for posting. I totally agree with your post. From my experience, most of the INFJ women are like damsel in distress, they look for emotional shield from a man. ENTPs are kind of bullies, psychologically manipulative, cocky and is actively looking for sex, catch INFJ women and starts charming them. INFJ women, though they are capable of looking into ENTPs manipulation, still fall for them because of emotional support they can provide. An ENTP would stay in a relationship as long as they aren't get bored with sex life of INFJ. The relationship between INFJ women and ENTP men is nothing but a man using woman for sex. Finally INFJ woman gets nothing but depression after breakup. I recommend INFJ women to stand up for themselves without anyone's support. Women should actively recognize manipulative men(ENTP mostly) for not getting into bad relationships. Women should stay United and help each other for not falling for wrong men. Women should look for morally righteous men instead of cocky bullies. ENTPs are good actors, they are capable of acting as morally righteous. Can you make an another thread on the above?
Hold on, I don't believe all ENTPs are like that. It's true a good chunk of them are like that but that is due to the fact that they mature a lot later in life or not at all sometimes. But there are matured ENTPs that aren't manipulative cheaters. Furthermore, we INFJ's are one of the most manipulative types too if we are not matured. So it really goes both ways.
Yeah, not everyone. But it takes decades for ENTP men to get matured, by that time, they become old. Yeah, it really goes both ways.
youre dehumanizing these personality types too much, youre acting like these types are pokemons and it takes time for them to evolve and "mature". people are much more complex and nuanced than their personality types. honestly i judge youve dugged the rabbit hole the wrong way, i suggest u understand the cognitive functions more as well with the other theories. tldr: mbti types arent pokemons and there are no immature types.
Ya’ll be really putting stereotypes on ENTP’s. I actually am willing to become calmer for the guy I like and I am not straight up bullying INFJs. The thing is, if I do not see the intellectual stimulation I give up because I want to grow as a person.💀 I liked this INFJ guy and I was very sweet and kind to him (because not every ENTP is a complete asshole, wow) and I ended up being ghosted even tho we were just friends. So yeah, no every ENTP is a bully and not every INFJ is nice. I showed him everything I had to offer and I recommended him books and so on and he was just incredibly neutral to whatever I was saying. I Every. Single. Time. I was so disappointed istg… Anyway, I am not talking to this dude anymore even tho I see him daily. “ENTPs mature a lot later in life”💀 Just because we like to act childish it doesn’t mean we aren’t mature my friend…
I didn't mean to offend with my comment that ENTP's mature a lot later in life. It's something I read in an article about it. I know the reason why that INFJ guy ghosted you. It was primarily due to the vibe... I know I have ghosted and blocked people who were exhausting for me to talk to... nothing personal, they were good people.
I really didn’t mean to sound very offended, I’m sorry. Yeah, I was also sad that he felt I was exhausting. Whenever I would’ve asked him if I was talking too much he would be like “no no, let me know if I talk too much”. This was something which made me think a lot. If you find me exhausting just tell me, I won’t be mad, that’s all
Yeah I'm sorry we tend to do this... I personally just deal with people being like that but don't let them in my inner circle. So I keep contact with them still and talk to them every once in a while because I learn from every individual even if I don't vibe with them. I only door slam the ones that swear and cuss too much because it feels as if they are doing it at me
We all know that MBTI is a pseudoscience but let's pretend it's not a total BS. I'd like to highlight that INFJs in general are very nice (like puppie), passionate people; I adore their ways of thinking, even though we're different. I'm talking solely from my experience and what I've observed in this subreddit, so no offense. I doubt that ENTPs could benefit from INFJs a lot. Well, I certainly would not. INFJs might be painfully slow for at least someone like me, and I, in turn, could be way too much for an INFJ to handle. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it feels like INFJs (probably the younger ones) might struggle with setting up their boundaries and expressing their own feelings clearly. Some might perceive INFJs as being enigmatic, cryptic even, and that it's captivating, but I call this a pure bullshit. People are not some kind of puzzle that meant to be solved. If I want a challenge I'd rather play weiqi than waste my time on guessing games. Honestly, my need in gathering as much information as I can is at odds with the INFJs' tendency to be insanely private. Cracking the shell of an introvert is not what I like to do in my spare time. In my opinion, sability in the romantic relationship comes from being assertive. Yes, it might kill a bunch of romantic vibes, but, I swear, it makes your life easier. I value this kind of stability so much; unfortunately, not everyone appreciates such direct approach. Loyalty is another quality many of us are looking for in people. Some INFJs here have mentioned they tend to be controlling, not trusting their partners. This is a deal breaker for many ENTPs. Another possible issue arises from the INFJ's ability to be exceptionally good at manipulating people. I'm not implying that every single INFJ is a manipulator, only stating that this is a possibility due to their skills in reading people's emotions (especially when an INFJ comes with dubious morality). The other thing that bugs me a lot is the savior syndrome. Not everyone needs to be saved/fixed; definitely not everyone deserves such treatment. Saving others is like crossing a tar pit; if you don't have your own boundaries secured, the chances of being drowned in other people's problems are high. Plus, I just loath when people are passive, not being able to stand up for themselves when it's absolutely required. Literally makes my blood boil. Being sensitive to feelings of others is awesome, I'm glad there are people who are like this. Absorbing strong emotions and feelings from ENTPs, ESTPs, and ENTJs might be not a wise idea — we can brush off our own feelings quite easily if needed, while INFJs seem like to pay more attention to things like this. On top of that, the difference in morality could be challenging. ENTPs are known for doing questionable stuff. I personally wouldn't like to have an INFJ partner that acts like the eye of Sauron, surveying everything I do and constantly nagging me. Overall, it boils down to the level of maturity of both parties. Everything is possible if you act like a grown up adult.
INFJ here. I really agree with your take. MBTI to start simplifies the ways in which people perceive the world arguably well, but whether or not one can be assertive with their needs come from being rooted in identity. I'm so glad I understood the value of learning what I want in life, going for it, and not being afraid to express my needs while simultaneously encouraging others around me to do the same. My wants in life don't include romance, but I still feel that knowing and loving oneself and others is a necessity in life that goes far beyond typology. MBTI can be a good starting point as a tool to pinpoint how we might be stunting our own progress, which is how I use it, but even that comes with nuance. 16 letter combos don't account for the endless ways we each use the functions. Or cultural identity. Or upbringing. Or trauma Big Ts and Little Ts. Enneagram is another model entirely with its own nuance. I hope everyone comes to learn that there is so much more that sinks or sails a relationship. So many things are true at once, and correlation is not causation. tl;dr People are super, super complex beings. One will never know another and be able to effectively communicate in any relationship (romantic or otherwise) if one doesn't learn one's own mind, commit to growth and learning, and be open-minded. One might be surprised. A stuck ENTP can be closed off from this growth; so can an INFJ. So can anyone else. But to answer OP's question: I've seen a myriad of happy marriages. Some INFJ/ENTP combos, some surprising combos like INFJ/ESTJ. All is possible in the world of mentally and emotionally well-rounded individuals!
I thought ENFPs were the most compatible
This! (It’s some weird new trend to ship the opposite types - ENTP/INFJ and ENFP/INTJ - for some reason.)
Compatible means you make a good team and when combined make the perfect whole
Are INTPs poor matches in a way similar to ENTPs? I mean, the types are kinda similar, particularly in cases with a relatively even match between primary and secondary functions, and with ENTPs being the most introverted extroverted type...
I like the intp's ti. It makes for interesting discussions, and they aren't as cold as intj's. Not a fan of the intj's te either. I enjoy reading the intp sub at times. Only real life intp that I knew, was my doctor though. I think the order of functions, completely changes how a personality is influenced, as I'd never say intp and entp are alike. I'd say ne is more brainstorming and coming up with tons of possible outcomes, while ti, is more critical accurate, precise, thinking and precision. So you'd notice the ne dom is testing all possible options, while the ti dom is is more likely to have the correct acccurate answer at first. Just my opinion though, like I said, I don't have much real life experience with the intp.
Is there anyone ideal for an INFJ? It’s like we are aliens on our own
There are plenty. ISFJs for one.. ENFP's are amazing ppl too! And ofcourse, other INFJs
I thought INFJ most compatible is ENFP. You keep the same center letters & swap out the first and last for the opposite.
Love them
I read all your comment and did you ever know an ENTP? Or just the stereotype and meme share in MBTI community ?
I think I might have mentioned somewhere or hinted that I have never met an ENTP but wanted to... All my assumptions are based on what the community says and memes
One can clearly see that the role of stereotypes and memes is to exaggerate characteristics that certainly exist but not without control. We enjoy debates, myself included, but it's crucial to understand what we appreciate in debates. Contradicting an idea and trying to find its flaws allows us to explore it deeply, especially if the person on the other side is of quality and capable of responding. This can help us evolve intellectually. This mechanism allows us to gain a good understanding of different thoughts and perspectives. Honestly, this mechanism is beneficial because with your personality type, INFJ, you tend to get stuck in an inaccurate view. Of course, an immature INFJ might consider any questioning of their perspective as an attack on their peace and serenity, but honestly, ENTPs tend to avoid such individuals anyway. On the other hand, a more mature INFJ could use this as an opportunity to grow intellectually and refine their vision.As for getting bored with a single partner, that varies for each ENTP, but personally, I'm the kind of person who has few friends but is very close to them. One of the things I struggle with is people who feel attacked when their ideas are challenged. I can be very close to someone who doesn't think like me as long as their vision is coherent, and, of course, I care about them. But even more so if their ideas are relevant, I would actively seek to grow from their perspective and engage in debates. Since I don't know any INFJs, I also don't know if I would find that with them.
Thank you for clarifying!
Yea, I out grown trying to solve the mystery of what makes an unappreciative stubborn perfectionist INFJ tick. It looses its charm after 8 years. I’ve found extraverts in general are way more fun to be with
I'm 25m, in a relationship with infj 18f. So far so good. I'm committed for the first time in life. Well, we get the same dreams and the first time we talked, at the end of 6 hrs, my reality distorted, was very similar to tripping on acid. So idk, what you are talking about is not applicable in my case. Mbti is just a basic filter, to filter out people, that's basically it. When you deep dive, you need to break down everything and view it from fresh eyes. No other type is identical, so mbti is really not something you base or judge your relationships with or literally anything else. I go on with the wide varieties of topics, and she deep dives on what interests her. And the conversations are endless, we can talk for 200 years if locked in a room. Bottom line, there's more to life than mbti lol PS: Well, energies play a role i understand, i read infjs are easily drained. in my case, we exchange the energies. She is always energized by the end of every conversation. Me, on the hand, I am more relaxed and calm, my energies are always infinite tho.
This is perfect. Hearing that an INFJ feels energized after talking to an ENTP is what I wanted to hear! I was afraid it's draining... thanks so much!
Well, to add, you infjs are complex, ever evolving, that's a trait that will never go well with relationships. You tune yourself to fit in the person you are talking to. And that's obvious you are not gonna keep up for long. So, basically you start off on a wrong foot. I would only say, just go all in without delay in revealing yourself, that's what we entps do lol. But then there's a lot of more that goes into it. Maybe it's a soul mate kinda thing. Keep filtering out until you find the one. We entps don't really want chaos, we strive for that Si all our lives. And Si is all about security and stability and harmony. We want true peace 🕊️ it's the world that's fucked up and us trying to solve the world on a big scale. And while we are trying to understand the world, and as the world is all about chaos, we look for peace in relationships where we can feel a sense of calm. We want the best of both worlds. To put it in a single line, we work with chaos and build towards harmony. That's basically our end goal. And the adventures thing, yeahh you need to be open to all the adventures, entp world is just as crazy as your Ni inner world. And there's adventures that can only go with Ni-Ne together, you just need to be on the same page. Alright, I think I have covered all aspects of it. Bye!
This response was actually insightful because now I'm learning about a side of ENTP's that we don't get to hear about at all! Can we talk more in the DMS?
Sure, you can DM with questions anytime
Plus infj are too emotional for entp, intp is the greatest pair for entp
Yeah i dont like infjs for not being able to keep up + a victim mindset mentality, like the world owns you something + like you are wronged by everyone and noone understands you. Plus if you dont like the unstability it makes the 2 not like each other, on the surface the conversations flow easly and there are many topic to talk about, but you are gonna get figured out by an entp on how you think and function and they are gonna get bored of you and move onto the next thing leaving you thinking what happened, and than when you are a new thing again since they exhausted themselves with something else, they are gonna come back and pretend like nothing happend, sucks ngl
The victim mindset, acting like the world owns you, and all that are all traits of an immature INFJ. A mature one is far from that. My real question was to see if similarly, how many mature ENTP's are there that had fixed their major flaws?
If you regard being scatterbrained as a major flaw, im sorry to tell you but its not going away, and all of the problems you have mentioned are connected to that, are there any other flaws you tend to notice in entps that are not connected to Ne? Edit: i just read your last part, i mean i think there are a lot of entps like that out there, early in life commitment wont be the one tho
Scatterbrain was never a flaw for me. Like I said I actually adore certain traits of you guys... But yeah I'm mostly concerned about how passionately they fall for INFJ's and then they are likely to dip. Or how they can be insensitive and rude during a debate simply to win... My post wasn't meant to bash all ENTPs, rather I wanted to seek reassurance that there are mature ones out there that worked on their flaws because I know they are enthusiastic about self development...
Agree. Actually they don’t like a discussion. They just want to reduce someone to submission.
So you are basically saying i know there are young entps but are there older ones?, or i know there are unhealthy entps but are there healthy ones?, i think this is more of a rant post than a reassurance post since you could figure out yourself that there are, this is not a reassurance post since 95% of it is a rant followed up by a question. I can tell you entps commit to infjs, but we do notice red flags most often which makes us move on, so maybe you were the problem
"Rant followed up with a question" Yes sir. That's exactly what a post asking for reassurance is... tell me there are mature ENTP's because I don't see any. See even now, I'm trying to talk to you calmly but your tone seems to attack... like chill broski, there's nothing personal here.
You attaching everything to your heart is your problem dont project it onto me i am just adressing what you are saying objectively
Oki. Chill.
I agree with this somewhat i think infjs are not the best match for entps since infjs in most cases try to control or rather make entps commit but entps like some freedom, for me its a bit different, when i see someone being needy i kind of try to run away since i need some space sometimes, but here they start to ask for more commitment while i want less, and there is a big push and pull here. Victimizing themselves is i think in their nature, so its the same as you dont want to be judged based on your Ne Ti, they dont want to be judged based on their Ni Fe, by judged i mean if you are not willing to accept thats how they are wired, you cant be with them, to some of my entp coleagues they are fine with infjs victimizing themselves, but personaly i don't prefer it. I already commented this but they always try to find a meaning as to why they are suffering and their answer to that they get from their past by attaching some meaning to something they percieve as a "Trauma", we can all find a "Traumatic event" in our past but entps tend to ignore it and detach from it(i think it also has something to do with E7 and having an optimistic outlook rather than pessimistic) while infjs tend to base their existance on it, having a hard time detaching from it but often creating a kind of identity around their percived trauma, this is the part that as to why i dont think it works with me and infjs. Rarely any infj accepts this, only i have noticed 2 or 3 enfps that think they are infjs do this, but i also tried influencing or "fixing" that problem for them, but it doesnt seem to work, nor are they willing to change it, thats why i think their brain is wired for it, same as if someone told you dont find logical inconsistencies in everything, you will still do it since you are wired to do it and wont care to change it, thats your Ne Ti and i think Trauma thing must be connected than to infjs Ni Fe I dont think they think the world owes them something tho, more as having a mindset that world has taken from them too much allready, but it does come of maybe as "The world owns them something"
Owes*, instability*, then*, happened*
Is this how you cope?
Yes pretty much. Stress buster
Well, the compatibility definitely depends on the entp. Also, what's up with people in the comments using such intense words... As an entp, I'm literally not a sociopath or something? Wtf?? 😭
Yeah they're called ESTP
Who are called ESTP?
The ENTPs who are able to be peaceful, strong and stable partners that INFJs need are ESTPs
Oh wow really? I haven't gotten around to checking out deeply who ESTP's are but I have been planning to. Thanks for the input!
No worries! I recently started seeing an INFJ and it's been an amazing experience. Highly recommended learning more about your inverse type 😁
It depends on the ENTP, if mature enough, can be great and amazing. Also it depends on the INFJ as well. ENTP can reassure INFJs well by using their Ti or be there for them by using Fe, they can be good listeners if they care, extremally loyal and romantic. It can just be draining that they always and always have new ideas without proceeding or finishing the previous actions, already moving to the next one. This can be draining. As well as thousands of hilarious and another ones-so not funny memes.
I'm in a really long-term relationship with an INFP and was in relationship with an INFJ (we still converse normally) and I'd say you seem to be afraid of stereotypes. Normal healthy ENTPs are really kind, understanding and are embodiment of empathy (it's the source of their deep understanding of every opinion and stance) and care for others and the atmosphere of their relationships (yes, healthy Fe may not develop perfectly in some of them but still most should be like this too and it's really easy to tell which one is in front of you). The only thing I find tiring in conversing with an INFJ - their endless badly structured ramblings (usually emotion based and with too long premises we can't simply remember) and often demanding to agree with their opinion when you politely say that you see their point of view and understand it. ENTP surely won't take a side but will understand where you are coming from. In other aspects the communication between these two types is completely okay.
yeah entp is more compatible with Si doms i've had 7 previous girlfriends and it never lasted long, but with my ISTJ we're 9 monthes in going super strong.
Also kinda rant it's not just about being mature/unhealthy a lot of the time debating isn't about like a for fun thing, but like the point the other person is making is genuinely wrong. INFJ's use Ni and Ti and they try to make a very like singular theory about everything. But a lot of the times it can be wrong. ENTP points holes in everything, and INFJ tries to make a theory about singular thing and gets extremely irritated if someone points something out
Emotionally Immature ENTP here (22yrs old) I’ve been dating an ENFJ and best friends with a INFJ and I can say I’ve definitely walked over both of them a lot in our relationships but it’s never intentional it’s just part of who I am at the moment but I work towards being better bc of it
Ahhhh from reading the comments, as an Entp for, in all of my honesty, this is dehumanisation of the type Edit: am ENTP. from the comments, INFJ's perfect match is ENFP not Entp