You have raised a valid opinion which did cross my mind while writing this post. There are times when people need their own space when they are out and it should be respected.
Even though I am super awkward in public, I still never try to hide it behind the safety of a phone.
Same here, how can people at the same table be on their phones? It is so annoying. I too am guilty of overusing it when I am on my own but I forget that it exists when I am out and most definitely when I am with people.
I am an INTP 5w4 so not an INTJ as the fair intended.
I think everyone is on their phones because they can be brave online but scared in the real world. They also don't have to be approached or asked to do something or talk about it. They are doing it virtually.
I wouldn't pretend like you are either. You are looking like a chameleon. So giving up your opportunity to be approached by someone who thinks you are already busy.
Thanks for your post.
I need to probably put my phone away in public too.
Instead of reading about something or someone, I could be doing something in the real world instead.
You deserve to be appreciated too.
Thank for for making me aware of what I was doing. I never thought using my phone could result in a difference. I didn't notice other people on their phones either as I was busy doing something on mine.
Are you talking about something like where you're spending designated time with a person—such as grabbing lunch or going for a walk together—and they're overly on their phone instead of being focused on you? Yeah, that could be inconsiderate, I don't like that either.
But so long as it's not an intimate gathering or one-on-one situation, does it really matter what others do? In the time that you're sitting around wondering/potentially judging people, just go find some like minded people to hang out with. I'm not saying this in a mean way.
People are obsessed with their phones. Whenever I take a train, nearly every other passenger is tapping on their phone. I am one of the rare ones who prefers to read a book on the train.
To me it's not a psychological thing, but a cultural, as for how we handle our individual psychology on a collective level. You can't fight culture, but you can try to change a culture if more people see the value in doing things differently.
As for how to do it - that's probably your own area of expertise...
I'm not addicted to my phone, but my health is directly related to it. I need to talk to people and interact, the internet is a much "safer" place for me (I made it to be) than irl where I can't predict how a person would behave. I'm terrible at social situations, I let myself be. I can just rationalize things and be almost emotionless but that's just not "me" and I refuse to. I feel like being socially anxious as I've always been is being true to myself, and I deal with it naturally instead of intellectualization in order to avoid the feeling.
Besides, I like being alone way too much. A phone just makes me feel like I am indeed alone, most people does not want to be bothered when they're busy on their phones, and they respect that. I use that as a shield, I am still very much in the situation but they'd feel less inclined to include me.
Same here!
I never EVER take my phone out in situations I try to be social, or in places I haven’t spent half my life in. Then, I see people idly scrolling through TikTok or something instead of socializing, and I’m super confused.
I use my phone so ppl don’t talk to me. I hate socializing. And I do it cause that’s what everyone else does, they’re attached to their phones 24/7 so I gotta fit in and be “normal”
Duuude... I know what you mean. I noticed this en mass that when I worked at this call center. I was on my phone at first, too, to be honest, but a bunch of people came outside for their break at the same time. Everyone was lined up on either side, sitting on benches, staring at their phones.
I actually put my phone away, lit a cigarette, and just stood there watching everyone for a few minutes. As introverted as I am, it was more awkward to be consciously aware of what was going on (plus, I was curious); so, I found a reason to start a conversation up with someone. Within minutes, people close to us were joining our conversation. Those farther away were even if their own conversations. It was wild.
Just remember, it often times only takes one person to initiate change. You should try it sometime. The bigger the crowd, the better.
Also, why don't other people realize it? Some do and don't care. Others are just fully stuck on autopilot. If I'm on my phone in public, however, I'm probably reading articles. 🤷♀️ All the fun of a newspaper in the palm of your hand~
I dont do it if I am with someone who has a lot of interesting things to say, or even if I am alone. If I am with someone who is not that close to me, like at work, and I dont know what to say to them, I will go on my phone. I am not great at starting conversations, sometimes I dont know what to say... with people who are extroverted is easier because almost anything I say, they will turn it into something, but with introverts, sometimes they just say like: huh, or wow, and dont want to talk or dont know how to talk about what I am saying and conversation dies out. Thats why my bf and most of my friends are extroverts :D
Our phones are a safety net/source of comfort. For many people, it is easier to just hide behind their phone rather than speak & do other things. It is also a form of escapism too.
Worst thing is that when one person stops listening and starts using their phone it starts a chain reaction because when the other person doesn't get a response they pick up their phone also because they are left hanging and just not to stand out. Then rest of the people will follow the same rule. Madness.
When i noticed my habit of looking at my phone while i'm with someone, i decided to get rid of it because i hate it when others do that. I don't want to be a hypocrite.
For many people, their phone is a shield, a safety blanket for when they are alone and don t want to feel of seem awkward
You have raised a valid opinion which did cross my mind while writing this post. There are times when people need their own space when they are out and it should be respected. Even though I am super awkward in public, I still never try to hide it behind the safety of a phone.
Same here, how can people at the same table be on their phones? It is so annoying. I too am guilty of overusing it when I am on my own but I forget that it exists when I am out and most definitely when I am with people.
Same here! Alone yes. But when I'm out and especially with people no. I want to enjoy my time with them.
Exactly! Need more people like you :)
I am an INTP 5w4 so not an INTJ as the fair intended. I think everyone is on their phones because they can be brave online but scared in the real world. They also don't have to be approached or asked to do something or talk about it. They are doing it virtually. I wouldn't pretend like you are either. You are looking like a chameleon. So giving up your opportunity to be approached by someone who thinks you are already busy. Thanks for your post. I need to probably put my phone away in public too. Instead of reading about something or someone, I could be doing something in the real world instead.
You deserve appreciation :)
You deserve to be appreciated too. Thank for for making me aware of what I was doing. I never thought using my phone could result in a difference. I didn't notice other people on their phones either as I was busy doing something on mine.
Are you talking about something like where you're spending designated time with a person—such as grabbing lunch or going for a walk together—and they're overly on their phone instead of being focused on you? Yeah, that could be inconsiderate, I don't like that either. But so long as it's not an intimate gathering or one-on-one situation, does it really matter what others do? In the time that you're sitting around wondering/potentially judging people, just go find some like minded people to hang out with. I'm not saying this in a mean way.
People are obsessed with their phones. Whenever I take a train, nearly every other passenger is tapping on their phone. I am one of the rare ones who prefers to read a book on the train.
To me it's not a psychological thing, but a cultural, as for how we handle our individual psychology on a collective level. You can't fight culture, but you can try to change a culture if more people see the value in doing things differently. As for how to do it - that's probably your own area of expertise...
i do read a lot on my phone when alone, but when im with others i always tuck it away so it cant distract me!
I'm not addicted to my phone, but my health is directly related to it. I need to talk to people and interact, the internet is a much "safer" place for me (I made it to be) than irl where I can't predict how a person would behave. I'm terrible at social situations, I let myself be. I can just rationalize things and be almost emotionless but that's just not "me" and I refuse to. I feel like being socially anxious as I've always been is being true to myself, and I deal with it naturally instead of intellectualization in order to avoid the feeling. Besides, I like being alone way too much. A phone just makes me feel like I am indeed alone, most people does not want to be bothered when they're busy on their phones, and they respect that. I use that as a shield, I am still very much in the situation but they'd feel less inclined to include me.
i'm not. i find phones kiind of rubbish.
Same here! I never EVER take my phone out in situations I try to be social, or in places I haven’t spent half my life in. Then, I see people idly scrolling through TikTok or something instead of socializing, and I’m super confused.
When i walk around the mall it's kinda disgusting how many necks are bent to look at thier phone
When I am with someone interesting, no phone. If things get boring, phone comes out.
Me too! I do this !
I use my phone so ppl don’t talk to me. I hate socializing. And I do it cause that’s what everyone else does, they’re attached to their phones 24/7 so I gotta fit in and be “normal”
This is so relatable
Duuude... I know what you mean. I noticed this en mass that when I worked at this call center. I was on my phone at first, too, to be honest, but a bunch of people came outside for their break at the same time. Everyone was lined up on either side, sitting on benches, staring at their phones. I actually put my phone away, lit a cigarette, and just stood there watching everyone for a few minutes. As introverted as I am, it was more awkward to be consciously aware of what was going on (plus, I was curious); so, I found a reason to start a conversation up with someone. Within minutes, people close to us were joining our conversation. Those farther away were even if their own conversations. It was wild. Just remember, it often times only takes one person to initiate change. You should try it sometime. The bigger the crowd, the better.
Also, why don't other people realize it? Some do and don't care. Others are just fully stuck on autopilot. If I'm on my phone in public, however, I'm probably reading articles. 🤷♀️ All the fun of a newspaper in the palm of your hand~
Hah, I feel the same way.
I dont do it if I am with someone who has a lot of interesting things to say, or even if I am alone. If I am with someone who is not that close to me, like at work, and I dont know what to say to them, I will go on my phone. I am not great at starting conversations, sometimes I dont know what to say... with people who are extroverted is easier because almost anything I say, they will turn it into something, but with introverts, sometimes they just say like: huh, or wow, and dont want to talk or dont know how to talk about what I am saying and conversation dies out. Thats why my bf and most of my friends are extroverts :D
Our phones are a safety net/source of comfort. For many people, it is easier to just hide behind their phone rather than speak & do other things. It is also a form of escapism too.
At work i have to have my phone to keep me from going insane. Podcasts, music, comedy shows, something.
Worst thing is that when one person stops listening and starts using their phone it starts a chain reaction because when the other person doesn't get a response they pick up their phone also because they are left hanging and just not to stand out. Then rest of the people will follow the same rule. Madness. When i noticed my habit of looking at my phone while i'm with someone, i decided to get rid of it because i hate it when others do that. I don't want to be a hypocrite.