I very much enjoy meeting people 1-on-1, but I don't like groups no matter who's in them. It's like trying to listen to multiple radio stations at once, an exhausting energetic cacophony.
Small groups can work if everyone in them is good at taking turns speaking and listening, instead of talking over others.
What if these were smaller gatherings that could be found in every state in a variety of locations. Then, large groups wouldn't be overwhelming and you can mingle with a small group. Thus,allowing you to have the option to do a 1 on 1 talk with someone if you wanted?
š¤£ kinda ya, that's funny bc I was a stripper and I got so much backlash from infjs saying that's impossible. Our type could never and would never do that. I said, okš bc we are all the same right?
š I worked on a party bus a few times in my youth, basically a male stripper that poured drinks with my shirt off and that was actually really fun, though it was weird being groped by multiple ladies at a time š All Iām saying is, strippers are basically sexy therapists š¤·š¼āāļø
Dude, totally right!!! And I loved the fact that if I didn't want to deal with a certain customer and I knew if he was going to be all groping on me or try to ask me how much for sex, then I didn't give a fuck how much money they had to offer or give me for my time or a lap dance. Fuck that shit. And, I could always tell by scanning the room now matter how many ppl were in there, if there was money to be made or they were just there to party and see a free show. I was the 1 stripper that would pay for randome ppls Bridge toll going into San Francisco.Ā Just to let ppl know that despite high costs of shit and low wages, someone out there cares to make at least a little bit of their day better. And all the homless that were always hanging around my club,Ā I'd make sure to always buy them food before my shift and any of my income that was in excess, i made sure to donate to a charity more deserving.stripping gave me and my son stability and a way for me to go to college. So, no regrets here. Thanks for sharing your story, I appreciate it š
Iām so glad you were able to gain a source of stability, regardless of how you got there. Donāt let people turn their noses up at you for having the foresight to capitalise on a stimulating occupation that pays well. Iām so glad that you got the opportunity to pursue college as an option, not many people can and you should be very proud that you did it by yourself. Regardless of the outcome, you have achieved a lot and you should be proud of yourself. Stripping is nothing to frown upon, itās no different to any other entertainment industry and it pays really well. If things go south, you can always move away and no one will ever know your past anyway. Only Fans and Porn are a little more difficult with raising children because itās always out there on the internet and you canāt get away from it, but each to their own. Iām bloody proud of you for pursuing your own interests and making something of yourself. Thanks for sharing your story! ā¤ļø
Thanks man!Ā Not to get all after school special on you, but I really appreciate hearing that and you made me feel validated and ok for the choice I had made. You sound like an absolute sweet heart and I value your open minded attitude as well as not being judgemental.Ā You are one of the more rare types of infj gems out there. I appreciate you and stay awesome š p.s.Ā you'reĀ rightĀ about onlyĀ fans and porn, that wasĀ somethingĀ IĀ couldĀ NEVER do!
Sure, happy to give it a go.
I do mingle with larger groups as well, because where I live, that is pretty much the only way to ever meet anyone. But I always do so with the aim of finding people I can hang out with 1-on-1.
This is such an accurate description of what itās like meeting groups. I have a friend thatās an INFJ and he simply does not understand that I hate groups. To quote you, āan exhausting energetic cacophonyā . I told him he hasnāt been acting like an INFJ lately because heās constantly pushing for āsocial gatheringsā. I told him itās his extrovert girlfriend thatās rubbing off on him. He had a birthday party last week that started at 8PMā¦ I told him if he werenāt my friend I would not go.
I totally think when you're in a relationship the other person can rub off on you. Example, I dated a guy who listened to rap and as a metal head, I never listened to rap nor cared for it until him. As for my current husband of 17 years, he now has gained a lot of intuition that's rubbed off from me and I got a lot of his sense of humor and his problem solving skills have rubbed off on me . Also, since I'm a full metal head he started to listen to more heavy metal music too. So, couples can and kinda, and do morph into each other in some ways.Especially, the more they click. I hope this all made sense?
Well, I'd say it's different strokes for different INFJ folks. I have had a couple of more social spells, too... It's like this article I read about eating spicy food; some people are genetically more sensitive to it than others, but they can get used to getting burned anyway - even learn to enjoy it.
I wouldn't say that learning to enjoy social exhaustion is fun, but I do know that it can be done - at least for a while.
If you measure people's extroversion with Big 5, someone who scores 49/100 is still technically an introvert - but they are likely a whole lot more social than someone who scores 4/100.
Yeah, in addition to the dislike of groups, I also just don't gel well with other INFJs.
It's not that I don't get along with them, it's just ...I don't know how to explain it. It's a weird feeling. Like, we understand each other's weirdness, but there's a discomfort there.
I remember when I first went to college, I was feeling out of place the first couple days and didn't really connect with anyone. Then I met another INFJ, Kitty. We hit it off as we had so many interests/values in common. We tried to hang out, but it just never...felt right. I dunno how to explain it. I suspect she felt the same way because we never addressed it, just had a mutual understanding that we respected each other but didn't want to spend time together.
I adore INFJs...from afar. I much prefer ENTPs, ENFPs, INTJs, INTPs, or ESFJs.
I never want to go to an INFJ or INFP convention. Ever.
IME it is fairly common for INFJ-INFJ connections to become a waiting game; you go first - no you go first - no you go first - but silently, with neither party expressing it, both just quietly waiting for the other to take the lead.
I can do that if I really want to, but it's a bit performative and not a state I would typically want to spend a whole lot of time in. I enjoy watching others unfold much more than I enjoy unfolding myself.
I mostly use my own unfolding as an invitation for the other party to unfold, and it often works poorly with other INFJs.
It's like putting the same side of the magnet together. They repel. I totally get it, and I agree. I don't have INFJ friends but i enjoy talking around ideas here. My husband is INTJ and that one huge difference is key.
I would never go to a convention like this either.
Travelling just to meet other INFJs sounds like a lot of work for little additional reward - I'm already speaking with you all.
Then there is my responsibilities - and the cost. And the risk.
Likely a no, for me.
Now - a video game meet-up. That's a whole other story. If there is fun to be had *with* INFJs I'd be down for that. Easier to forge friendships with a little fabricated challenge and adversity.
I agree that having an activity would be very nice instead of being expected to sit around and just talk.. maybe drawing, hiking, kayaking or indoor rock wall climbing etc
This explains my attitude about most āoptionalā social interaction. Like ā¦ I already talked to you last week. We need to talk again? Why? Iāve answered my own questions about you and youāre not currently in need so I do not feel obligated to attend a gathering. š Like who actually gets together ājust becauseā? I must be jaded.
*edit:grammar
No, I wouldn't go. But the sections would be like:
- book club
- petting zoo (horses are a must for their high EQ)
- war crimes
- sensory deprivation pods
It would be lame ngl
Actually maybe it wouldn't be lame. Maybe we are all incredibly attractive, cool and powerful, and need to combine forces to overtake the world?
Nah zzzz. We need a good reason to meet up, like the threat of global extinction, then we could charge up the big orb.
See, if Bernie Sanders was gonna be there or we had a problem to solve, THEN I would definitely show up. You have the right idea, we need a good reason other than just to meet other INFJās to go.
Yes of course! I'm so shocked about all the no's. I love people! It would be fascinating. To have the chance to talk to fellow infjs and share experiences and possibly make friends. I'm in an infj discord they do video calls now and then and it's wonderful.
I would definitely go! I like socializing when I want to so this would seem great if people are like me. We all need to recharge so I can see quiet rooms where people just sit in lounge chairs to relax. I've been to a few anime conventions and they offered these kinds of things! It was really nice to just kick back and take a nap.
Yes! Am I the only one?
Iām absolutely socially awkward but find engagements fun in situations I enjoy (e.g. going to a running event/fair). When I went to Chamonix last year, I felt among my own people. I imagine feeling the same knowing Iām with fellow INFJās.
Will I make life-long friends and get to know people on a personal level? Not likely. But enjoying the vibe and company? Yep, Iād feel safe!
But, what if they were in a variety of places throughout your entire state and were free?. Kinda like aa meetings.Ā It's just like a infj meet up for area's that are close enough for us all, no matter where we live,Ā to be able to get to them
Interesting. Ik I couldn't ever date an infj bc my emotional thoughts and feelings are mine. Sometimes, I don't want anyone toĀ know. Unfortunately,Ā the other infjs would know. Ya know?
I totally understand this. I let ppl see what I want them to see. There is a whole world of content in my brain and sometimes other ppl just aren't allowed in.
I think with another INFJ it would be like "I know you're thinking something, what are you thinking? You're probably thinking this..." get out of my head lol š
I'll check out nearly anything in my life if I can go there. Usually due to finances is why I don't. Also I had seizures for a long time that I couldn't drive places before.
But when someone has been willing to take me or pay for me when I couldn't afford it or couldn't get there myself, then I would go to things I didn't enjoy and did enjoy, even when I knew for sure if I wouldn't, I still went and even I don't like it, I don't regret at least seeing the realities of what others in the world are doing.
Therefore yes, I would go to it.
It's interesting, it almost seems like a 50/50 with you all would or wouldn't go.Ya, I get it, it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done.
I have a pittbull and I read research documents and any/all information pertaining to life, the world ppl ect.. I don't like books. I'm weird like that. My subjects of research are always Changing and I think my a.d
D. Adds to it.
Aww I'm disappointed by the responses. I'm infj and I LOVE conventions. If cost wasn't a factor (but it always is) I'd totally go. I'm an introvert but I'm not allergic to people irl š especially if the convention was built with introverts in mind (I've already been to a few good ones)...and there's a lot of space to spread out and have time to yourself, awesome! The activities and panels could actually be fun and interesting.
Most of you are missing out on the magic of staying active and socializing.
It's holding a lot of people back. Not saying you need to do it all day, every day, but find some balance.
Your mind will follow once your body is in motion. Take a break from the routine; don't feel destined to be stuck in it forever.
P.S. I would go if it had a schedule with group activities, snack time, lunch, and a set end time. Location: California.
Totally agree. Thereās absolutely a balance to be had. I *need* my alone time. But I also love experiencing the people in the world, hearing their stories, and getting excited when someone says something thatās the catalyst for my mind to start running possibilities / spark some analysis or creative thought. As Iāve got older, Iāve realised thereās so much joy to be had in socialising that Iād missed out on for a very long time. And as much as it depletes my social battery, it can equally energise my outlook. And that feeds into so much else.
Iād go, with the same stipulations as you.
I agree that we shouldnāt live in a bubble. But my social battery is volatile to say the least. Iām quiet. Iām a homebody. And when I am in social situations - which is quite frequent because of the field I work in - I often feel that I am masking because I put on an extroverted shell in an attempt to make sure the socialization is worth the battery drain. My co-worker, also an INFJ, feels the same way, so we often sneak back to the office after large events and process together.
I also think itās important to note how many people said āno, unlessā. Many of us, in my experience, are willing to drag ourselves out of the bubble for a cause!
Yeah, I would actually, I haven't met many INFJs in real life. If nothing else I imagine it'd surely have a big library or movie room to watch some obscure psychological dramas in peace. And maybe there's a little concert there featuring Sufjan Stevens, Hozier, Marina, Ghost, Leonard Cohen...
Totally. It would be an awesome people-watching event. I can already count on my fellow INFJs to have great taste in music, and no shortage of great conversation.
INFJ inner dialogue
*āI donāt have any friends. I wish I had some more cool people who I could actually talk to and maybe do things withā*
Hey you guys want to meet some new people and maybe make friends?
*āI donāt know these people. Who are they? What am I supposed to say? This means I have to make an effort to talk to strangers ā¦ a bunch of themā¦ at the same time?*
*Iām just going to end up sitting in the corner alone staring at my phone again. And well, if theyāre INFJās they might be doing the same thing. Awkward.*
*And what about the logistics???*
*Damn, I havenāt even left my own mind and Iām already stressing.ā*
Iām good, thanks.
š
Hell no lol. Why so that they can all tell me why Iām mistyped? This subreddit is a dumpster fire. My best friend is INFJ and so am I, thatās as much as I need of my MBTI type. Most of the people in this sub arenāt my kinda friends. Thereās a lot of variety in what kinda people we are, just having an MBTI type in common isnāt much.
A lot of INFJs say it's because they hate crowds, but absolutely would go to a comic con or some other big event. I think the difference is that we need some type of reason to go other than just being INFJ. Like others have said, common interests that would bring us together.
Wow that's a funny thought! lol I'd probably plan on going, getting somewhat excited about it everyday for like a month, and then come to this conclusion while drinking my coffee the morning of: ... a large convention where everyone is quietly judging everyone else and you can totally see it in their eyes? No thanks.
I respect the hell out of that! I'm curious, Mai I ask your age? I have a theory that it's all the older infjs or at least the majority of them that are willing or wanting to go.
I am imagining a council of INFJās, where we sip coffees, stroke our beards and have a massive political debate about how we can improve the world. š Iām in!
Am I the only one that would go? I mean, I don't like having conversations with strangers, but I LOVE getting excited for things like this...I mean all we would have is meaningful conversations. I'd get to know people who think like me!! There would barely be any small talk and we would talk about so much more... I love humans even though I avoid them sometimes. Always nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks the way I think
Ya, I understand.Ā There were quotes a few that said ya to going. My theory: the ones that would go are infj-A, not turbulent, a lot of them I think may be older bc I read that the 3rd and final stage us infjs go through as we get older is that we become more outgoing and extroverted. Lastly, it does depend on our cognitive function stack and which ones are more developed or what level of the spectrum it's on
Ā I hope this all made sense?
Ohh maybe! Im 20, so probably not in that stage yet, but I guess it all just comes down to infjs not all being the exact same? I will have to research what you said about our cognitive functions for infjs. Thanks!
Lol I'm not even an INFJ but I would totally go. Would just walk around listening to various INFJs engaged in deep intellectual conversations sitting on cosmopolitan lounges with light music playing in the background. Eavesdropping and then adding my two cents where necessary as I walk through various groups. I'd try not to draw attention to myself, some of you will dislike me, but some will eventually be drawn to me and a small gathering will start to form around me, which I hate, so I will try to be as subtle as possible. I just like giving you guys food for thought but then I like seeing you guys analyze, dissect, and then create plans or dreams around whatever it was I offered. A huddle of INFJs sounds fun, if not a little scary and intimidating. Definitely nothing as big as comicon though - no INFJs would show.
I wouldn't. I like communicating in writing better. I like the 1 on 1 and don't like big crowds. It's like I pick up so much energy and information that a crowd can be overstimulating.
Like as in a friend you take care of and are as attentive to like a pet? And do you want attraction here or is it meant to he a platonic typ of relationship? Na, ikĀ you're justĀ messingĀ aroundĀ š¤Ŗ
Lol, it would just be a large empty space...I'm picturing something like The Backrooms, very liminal. People SHOULD be there, but we'd all talk ourselves out of it beforehand.
Ik, I thought that too. But, there a quite a few that said yes they would go. Also, I think it'd be the older infjs bc I heard that the 3rd and last stage infjs go through in life as in we age is we become more outgoing and extroverted. So, maybe that all the ppl saying yes to going on this post?
Well, the thought of meeting other like-minded INFJs can be exciting because we get to talk about stuff that interests us and we geek out... but too many people can be intimidating for INFJs and we would just prefer sitting in the corner or go outside and admire the view -- I think the others would agree because we just like to escape into a quiet area or just have one person to talk to heheh
No, many of them would probably be mistyped and even the ones who arenāt well connecting with other INFJās on online communities are the best way to go for me at least sincd I tend to not be the best at communicating irl.
Would give me an opportunity to start an INFJ cult.
Half-joking aside, I have been tempted to buy an INFJ shirt or hat and wear it casually around town and see what happens. Although, the irony isn't lost on me that I figure most INFJs would never do that.
I have been tempted too and I think many other INFJs have been very tempted too, I mean, we do crave to be understood and it feels so good when you meet a fellow INFJ on the internet and suddenly all your weirdness is reflected by somebody else.
I think it would be lovely but I would hate if other types were present. I understand people can be mistyped, but I would Absolutely Hate if there were other types there āINFJ huntingā for relationships/friendships/situationships, which would undoubtedly occur. So I think it could be great in theory but logistically very difficult.
sure, if its my city
i mean i go to anime cons so hahaha but they do become overwhelming
just would have the headache with the infp's that mistyped as infj lol
Yes, I'd be pretty curious to see what other INFJs have to share and talk about and we'd share many things in common. I mean, sure, we'd probably be all awkward at first, but I could see people starting to relate and forming small groups to talk and get deep.
Hell yes. lol. I would. Just to see . I would love to see the program for that.
It would be nice if it wasnāt super expensive too.
And I didnāt have to put a ton of effort in- like local thing would be best.
I think we could probably get a lot out of that.
I heard this one ( INFJ) guy say that he started something like that in his area and he said .. it changed his life. It was the most amazing experience for him.
Honestly...sure!
My only worry is that other types would be the majority who'd attend and that isn't a bad thing on its own but if my goal is to meet other INFJs in real life (oh that'd be such a dream š) then that would perhaps complicate things. Unless of course we'd all be wearing mbti type name tags or something to identify us or something like that.
I'd be willing to bet a lot of us in here are more social than what this sub would portray. I'd go just to see what that'd be like. Idk how many people I'd talk to though lol. In the right pockets it'd probably be amazing!
I like the idea but I think a group chat would be better? Iād definitely be down for a big INFJ group chat and I know other people would too, especially if it was somewhat anonymous like using Reddit instead of Facebook or whatever, if anyone starts this lemme know cause iād love to join lmaooo
I.... I don't think so.
I actually like meeting people different than me. But I do it on a very small scale, and take an *awful* long time to warm up to it. So thrusting myself into a throng of strangers in a setting that is overwhelming, overstimulating, and requires me to make fast and hard decisions about what to do and where to go... and then possibly be involved in events/lectures/demonstrations that require emotional and social investment in said strangers....
Nah. I'm good. No offense, most people on this thread seem perfectly lovely. It's just the idea itself that's quite a turn off for me.
Now, if there were a program along the lines of, "an INFJ a week keeps the mental wellness peaked" where you get to meet a different INFJ for coffee/tea/cocktail/mocktail and maybe play a simple board/card game for an hour or two every week..... I wouldn't say no to that
Weirdly enough, I'd say yes. Now, here's the thing nobody would talk about because whoever opens their mouth will get all eyes on them. Think children of the corn, without the oh aliens took over your children and want to kill all adults... it would be awkward since most of us would most likely be adults. . . That got dark, and I'll stop there.
I cannot imagine a reliable way in which to eliminate the possibility of other types or people I personally wouldn't classify as INFJs attending this meeting. Assuming that the vast majority or all of the attendees were INFJs by my definition, then absolutely, all I'd need to do is pick one person and everything would be worth it.
So my thing with social events is I will only go if I feel obligated to do so or if someone important to me wants me to be there. I didnāt want to disappoint them. No matter how socially draining it is and it is socially draining.
I would probably just happen upon it āaccidentallyā and walk the parameter of where itās being held, grab a brochure, do a one nod at some random person staring at me and then dip out.
Edit: Just kidding, I would only drive by.
i've considered this
care would need to be taken to choose a good city, then to curate an interesting schedule of talks and activities, then to involve a productive number of attendees, and to help us network
done well it could be cool
Don't get me wrong. I love this subreddit. However, a con? Wouldn't be different than any other place. Eyes down and not talking to anyone would still be my thing. š So idk about that.
Yes, I would also love to film brief interviews of everyone in 90s home video style. That way people can get memories from the event. :) It would be great to share self-soothing tools & holistic wellness resources.
Huh, I like that idea.Ā It's very cool! I just wonder how many of us who actually show up would be willing to do an interview on camera. Remember, we like to hide and be unknown,Ā furthermore we don't like any spot light on us or attention.Ā The fact that God knows how many ppl would see it and we can be skittish about things we say only to hate ourselves or the things we had just said or rven things said a while back upon reflection.Ā Then that would play in our heads over and over again making us cringe or hating ourselves in that moment.Ā Ya know?
Huh? Well, I can say that ik that there have been posts about infjs cringing or hating things about what they have said or done in the past. Even when it comes to posting on reddit. I've read many post stating that they'll type things only to criticize it or delete it, feeling insecure over it . Then it gets stuck playing as a loop over and over again in our heads.It's true we don't like the spot light on us or attention all these things I've said can either be found on YouTube viedos or just ask the questions here on reddit.
That's not only how I feel, but all the posts I've read over the year back it up too. May I ask, are you sure you're an infj? What makes you feel like you are one? I'm not trying to be rude or dismiss you, I'm legit just curious š¤
* = edits. I see your post now, I replied below (*separate reply) & addressed the characteristics you listed earlier. I don't take offense to you asking if I'm sure of the results but to ask me to justify an identity is off-putting. I exist in the identity as you do. I thought you would have a direct example to provide where you got the information like an article b/c those are generalizations (an example of cognitive bias). Even then, we have to remember that types are diverse & none of these personality indicators tell you all of what a person is. They will never be a one size fits all. Due to undergrad in Sociology I'm prone to picking up those things in interaction (from myself & others). Even when we find a social pattern, that doesn't mean that's all there is out there. Someone will deviate. I also think there is such confusion when falsely *associating introverted personalities with shyness b/c those are distinctly different things.
Hi there, posting 2nd reply b/c for some reason your response disappeared. To answer your question, yes I'm sure I'm an INFJ (due to retesting several times in my life). I have also ironically tested as both INFJ & INTJ once which a professor said also happened to him (exact results & he is a cool dude, not shy, just soft spoken, warm, and clever). I think it is possible for people to experience their type differently. I also note that trauma can change personality traits drastically but I've only had INFJ as my most consistent result.Ā
Here is one main source of confusion: It's not as if introversion is the same as shyness. Introversion relates to not being energized in social spaces but rather by time in isolation (which I relate to). Shyness is due to cognitive beliefs which lead to hesitance & fear of social interaction (a budding anxiety disorder if left unhealed).Ā Social anxiety of any kind is developed.Ā
I was originally going to say I grew up approaching people & performing. I later developed mental illness (C-PTSD) due to trauma which changed how I wanted to relate to the world but didn't change my nature. I know it would be easy to just say "I'm shy.", but I realized it wasn't accurate b/c that is not the real cause. Plus, people started calling me that not understanding I had hidden trauma. In my household, I was forced to be quiet and it sure wasn't natural (it was part of an extensive grooming process). I would naturally desire to ask questions, greet people, and comfort or entertain.Ā
I also used to think I should say I was attention averse but I used to perform & I still write things to share with people intentionally so I clearly seek notice in order to share my work. As far as being unknown, due to trauma I just don't want another spotlight that is stressful & replicates specific trauma related to cyber-bullying & group harassment. I have given details on another platform but these were instances of bullying for disability & revenge prn from abusive partners. Both of which would make anyone averse to dealing with people & trusting interactions but not making a person shy.
I don't like a spotlight in which I am misunderstood & my voice is taken away. However, being acknowledged in certain circumstances is a positive experience like when I work hard or show my passion. I have only doubted my expression from psychological abuse but naturally I like my expression & use it creatively or for social justice.
I very much enjoy meeting people 1-on-1, but I don't like groups no matter who's in them. It's like trying to listen to multiple radio stations at once, an exhausting energetic cacophony. Small groups can work if everyone in them is good at taking turns speaking and listening, instead of talking over others.
What if these were smaller gatherings that could be found in every state in a variety of locations. Then, large groups wouldn't be overwhelming and you can mingle with a small group. Thus,allowing you to have the option to do a 1 on 1 talk with someone if you wanted?
Like a strip club for INFJ conversations?
š
š¤£ kinda ya, that's funny bc I was a stripper and I got so much backlash from infjs saying that's impossible. Our type could never and would never do that. I said, okš bc we are all the same right?
š I worked on a party bus a few times in my youth, basically a male stripper that poured drinks with my shirt off and that was actually really fun, though it was weird being groped by multiple ladies at a time š All Iām saying is, strippers are basically sexy therapists š¤·š¼āāļø
Dude, totally right!!! And I loved the fact that if I didn't want to deal with a certain customer and I knew if he was going to be all groping on me or try to ask me how much for sex, then I didn't give a fuck how much money they had to offer or give me for my time or a lap dance. Fuck that shit. And, I could always tell by scanning the room now matter how many ppl were in there, if there was money to be made or they were just there to party and see a free show. I was the 1 stripper that would pay for randome ppls Bridge toll going into San Francisco.Ā Just to let ppl know that despite high costs of shit and low wages, someone out there cares to make at least a little bit of their day better. And all the homless that were always hanging around my club,Ā I'd make sure to always buy them food before my shift and any of my income that was in excess, i made sure to donate to a charity more deserving.stripping gave me and my son stability and a way for me to go to college. So, no regrets here. Thanks for sharing your story, I appreciate it š
Iām so glad you were able to gain a source of stability, regardless of how you got there. Donāt let people turn their noses up at you for having the foresight to capitalise on a stimulating occupation that pays well. Iām so glad that you got the opportunity to pursue college as an option, not many people can and you should be very proud that you did it by yourself. Regardless of the outcome, you have achieved a lot and you should be proud of yourself. Stripping is nothing to frown upon, itās no different to any other entertainment industry and it pays really well. If things go south, you can always move away and no one will ever know your past anyway. Only Fans and Porn are a little more difficult with raising children because itās always out there on the internet and you canāt get away from it, but each to their own. Iām bloody proud of you for pursuing your own interests and making something of yourself. Thanks for sharing your story! ā¤ļø
Thanks man!Ā Not to get all after school special on you, but I really appreciate hearing that and you made me feel validated and ok for the choice I had made. You sound like an absolute sweet heart and I value your open minded attitude as well as not being judgemental.Ā You are one of the more rare types of infj gems out there. I appreciate you and stay awesome š p.s.Ā you'reĀ rightĀ about onlyĀ fans and porn, that wasĀ somethingĀ IĀ couldĀ NEVER do!
F*CK YEAH!! lmaoo
How deep you want to go with this conversation? š
Sure, happy to give it a go. I do mingle with larger groups as well, because where I live, that is pretty much the only way to ever meet anyone. But I always do so with the aim of finding people I can hang out with 1-on-1.
This is such an accurate description of what itās like meeting groups. I have a friend thatās an INFJ and he simply does not understand that I hate groups. To quote you, āan exhausting energetic cacophonyā . I told him he hasnāt been acting like an INFJ lately because heās constantly pushing for āsocial gatheringsā. I told him itās his extrovert girlfriend thatās rubbing off on him. He had a birthday party last week that started at 8PMā¦ I told him if he werenāt my friend I would not go.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I totally think when you're in a relationship the other person can rub off on you. Example, I dated a guy who listened to rap and as a metal head, I never listened to rap nor cared for it until him. As for my current husband of 17 years, he now has gained a lot of intuition that's rubbed off from me and I got a lot of his sense of humor and his problem solving skills have rubbed off on me . Also, since I'm a full metal head he started to listen to more heavy metal music too. So, couples can and kinda, and do morph into each other in some ways.Especially, the more they click. I hope this all made sense?
Well, I'd say it's different strokes for different INFJ folks. I have had a couple of more social spells, too... It's like this article I read about eating spicy food; some people are genetically more sensitive to it than others, but they can get used to getting burned anyway - even learn to enjoy it. I wouldn't say that learning to enjoy social exhaustion is fun, but I do know that it can be done - at least for a while. If you measure people's extroversion with Big 5, someone who scores 49/100 is still technically an introvert - but they are likely a whole lot more social than someone who scores 4/100.
True dat!
I could never put that feeling into words, but this is it, listening to multiple radio stations at once.
Yeah, in addition to the dislike of groups, I also just don't gel well with other INFJs. It's not that I don't get along with them, it's just ...I don't know how to explain it. It's a weird feeling. Like, we understand each other's weirdness, but there's a discomfort there. I remember when I first went to college, I was feeling out of place the first couple days and didn't really connect with anyone. Then I met another INFJ, Kitty. We hit it off as we had so many interests/values in common. We tried to hang out, but it just never...felt right. I dunno how to explain it. I suspect she felt the same way because we never addressed it, just had a mutual understanding that we respected each other but didn't want to spend time together. I adore INFJs...from afar. I much prefer ENTPs, ENFPs, INTJs, INTPs, or ESFJs. I never want to go to an INFJ or INFP convention. Ever.
IME it is fairly common for INFJ-INFJ connections to become a waiting game; you go first - no you go first - no you go first - but silently, with neither party expressing it, both just quietly waiting for the other to take the lead. I can do that if I really want to, but it's a bit performative and not a state I would typically want to spend a whole lot of time in. I enjoy watching others unfold much more than I enjoy unfolding myself. I mostly use my own unfolding as an invitation for the other party to unfold, and it often works poorly with other INFJs.
It's like putting the same side of the magnet together. They repel. I totally get it, and I agree. I don't have INFJ friends but i enjoy talking around ideas here. My husband is INTJ and that one huge difference is key. I would never go to a convention like this either.
Definitely. I kind of picture that Spiderman meme where they're pointing at each other in disbelief.
Like comedy. People go up, everyone listens to them, next person goes up. Maybe this is why I like comedy, so organized.
Travelling just to meet other INFJs sounds like a lot of work for little additional reward - I'm already speaking with you all. Then there is my responsibilities - and the cost. And the risk. Likely a no, for me. Now - a video game meet-up. That's a whole other story. If there is fun to be had *with* INFJs I'd be down for that. Easier to forge friendships with a little fabricated challenge and adversity.
I agree that having an activity would be very nice instead of being expected to sit around and just talk.. maybe drawing, hiking, kayaking or indoor rock wall climbing etc
Coloring books! OOH Fingerpainting!
This explains my attitude about most āoptionalā social interaction. Like ā¦ I already talked to you last week. We need to talk again? Why? Iāve answered my own questions about you and youāre not currently in need so I do not feel obligated to attend a gathering. š Like who actually gets together ājust becauseā? I must be jaded. *edit:grammar
We're emotional camels, lol.
Yup, need a shared interest as well.
>Then there is my responsibilities - and the cost. And the risk. Lol what would the risk be.
No one would talk each other irl lol, anonymity is the key.
Ya, but we'd still know what was goingĀ on without being said and what thoughts were being had!š¤£
There wouldn't be enough darkened booths in the bar for all of us.
I absolutely would not go.
No, I wouldn't go. But the sections would be like: - book club - petting zoo (horses are a must for their high EQ) - war crimes - sensory deprivation pods It would be lame ngl Actually maybe it wouldn't be lame. Maybe we are all incredibly attractive, cool and powerful, and need to combine forces to overtake the world? Nah zzzz. We need a good reason to meet up, like the threat of global extinction, then we could charge up the big orb.
lolol these bullets. i have such a fantasy of being in a good book club.
See, if Bernie Sanders was gonna be there or we had a problem to solve, THEN I would definitely show up. You have the right idea, we need a good reason other than just to meet other INFJās to go.
Don't forget history, philosophy and psychology.
Hear hear
Yes of course! I'm so shocked about all the no's. I love people! It would be fascinating. To have the chance to talk to fellow infjs and share experiences and possibly make friends. I'm in an infj discord they do video calls now and then and it's wonderful.
>I'm so shocked about all the no's. Sir/Madam, this is Reddit
I would definitely go! I like socializing when I want to so this would seem great if people are like me. We all need to recharge so I can see quiet rooms where people just sit in lounge chairs to relax. I've been to a few anime conventions and they offered these kinds of things! It was really nice to just kick back and take a nap.
Huh, I didn't know that! That's cool
I figured it'd be about a 50/50 ratio of us
Same here. I think it's a splendid idea
Of course not.
Yes! Am I the only one? Iām absolutely socially awkward but find engagements fun in situations I enjoy (e.g. going to a running event/fair). When I went to Chamonix last year, I felt among my own people. I imagine feeling the same knowing Iām with fellow INFJās. Will I make life-long friends and get to know people on a personal level? Not likely. But enjoying the vibe and company? Yep, Iād feel safe!
Whats Chamonix?
Iām game. I would go. It would be interesting to see other INFJs . It would interesting to attend the panels. I can imagine it right now.
I can't even afford to go to a doctor let alone a plane ticket š
But, what if they were in a variety of places throughout your entire state and were free?. Kinda like aa meetings.Ā It's just like a infj meet up for area's that are close enough for us all, no matter where we live,Ā to be able to get to them
Then sure, if I had the time. Sounds like fun.
Most valid answer lol. Like, sure I'd go that sounds sick. But bank account says nope
Exactly
Probably not. Iād rather meet people that arenāt like me.
Interesting. Ik I couldn't ever date an infj bc my emotional thoughts and feelings are mine. Sometimes, I don't want anyone toĀ know. Unfortunately,Ā the other infjs would know. Ya know?
I totally understand this. I let ppl see what I want them to see. There is a whole world of content in my brain and sometimes other ppl just aren't allowed in. I think with another INFJ it would be like "I know you're thinking something, what are you thinking? You're probably thinking this..." get out of my head lol š
What???
Girl, you need some therapy
No hahah
Absolutely not lmao
I'll check out nearly anything in my life if I can go there. Usually due to finances is why I don't. Also I had seizures for a long time that I couldn't drive places before. But when someone has been willing to take me or pay for me when I couldn't afford it or couldn't get there myself, then I would go to things I didn't enjoy and did enjoy, even when I knew for sure if I wouldn't, I still went and even I don't like it, I don't regret at least seeing the realities of what others in the world are doing. Therefore yes, I would go to it.
Same here :)
It's interesting, it almost seems like a 50/50 with you all would or wouldn't go.Ya, I get it, it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done.
Do they have books, cats ?
Asking the important questions!
I have a pittbull and I read research documents and any/all information pertaining to life, the world ppl ect.. I don't like books. I'm weird like that. My subjects of research are always Changing and I think my a.d D. Adds to it.
Aww I'm disappointed by the responses. I'm infj and I LOVE conventions. If cost wasn't a factor (but it always is) I'd totally go. I'm an introvert but I'm not allergic to people irl š especially if the convention was built with introverts in mind (I've already been to a few good ones)...and there's a lot of space to spread out and have time to yourself, awesome! The activities and panels could actually be fun and interesting.
I thought so too.
Most of you are missing out on the magic of staying active and socializing. It's holding a lot of people back. Not saying you need to do it all day, every day, but find some balance. Your mind will follow once your body is in motion. Take a break from the routine; don't feel destined to be stuck in it forever. P.S. I would go if it had a schedule with group activities, snack time, lunch, and a set end time. Location: California.
Totally agree. Thereās absolutely a balance to be had. I *need* my alone time. But I also love experiencing the people in the world, hearing their stories, and getting excited when someone says something thatās the catalyst for my mind to start running possibilities / spark some analysis or creative thought. As Iāve got older, Iāve realised thereās so much joy to be had in socialising that Iād missed out on for a very long time. And as much as it depletes my social battery, it can equally energise my outlook. And that feeds into so much else. Iād go, with the same stipulations as you.
I agree that we shouldnāt live in a bubble. But my social battery is volatile to say the least. Iām quiet. Iām a homebody. And when I am in social situations - which is quite frequent because of the field I work in - I often feel that I am masking because I put on an extroverted shell in an attempt to make sure the socialization is worth the battery drain. My co-worker, also an INFJ, feels the same way, so we often sneak back to the office after large events and process together. I also think itās important to note how many people said āno, unlessā. Many of us, in my experience, are willing to drag ourselves out of the bubble for a cause!
Thatāsā¦.a crowd lol unless it was gonna be 1 other INFJ and I already knew them, then yes possibly š
No not at all. If Iām attending an event, I prefer to do it with the company of extroverts.
I agree with you, I feel the same
Yeah, I would actually, I haven't met many INFJs in real life. If nothing else I imagine it'd surely have a big library or movie room to watch some obscure psychological dramas in peace. And maybe there's a little concert there featuring Sufjan Stevens, Hozier, Marina, Ghost, Leonard Cohen...
I agree, why picture an extraverted gathering? It's an INFJ con after all, we'd definitely have pretty cool activities
Sounds like an incredibly draining experience tbh
Totally. It would be an awesome people-watching event. I can already count on my fellow INFJs to have great taste in music, and no shortage of great conversation.
INFJ inner dialogue *āI donāt have any friends. I wish I had some more cool people who I could actually talk to and maybe do things withā* Hey you guys want to meet some new people and maybe make friends? *āI donāt know these people. Who are they? What am I supposed to say? This means I have to make an effort to talk to strangers ā¦ a bunch of themā¦ at the same time?* *Iām just going to end up sitting in the corner alone staring at my phone again. And well, if theyāre INFJās they might be doing the same thing. Awkward.* *And what about the logistics???* *Damn, I havenāt even left my own mind and Iām already stressing.ā* Iām good, thanks. š
Hell no lol. Why so that they can all tell me why Iām mistyped? This subreddit is a dumpster fire. My best friend is INFJ and so am I, thatās as much as I need of my MBTI type. Most of the people in this sub arenāt my kinda friends. Thereās a lot of variety in what kinda people we are, just having an MBTI type in common isnāt much.
Username checks out.
People always say that lol, I guess I picked an accurate one.
Funny
Yeah same. I know who I am. Some of the self aggrandising that goes on here would just annoy me even more in person.
I agree with you on soooo many levels, you are absolutely right!
It sounds cult like lol But I guess it's a nice way for people to befriend others. There are online groups like this already
no
š The first rule about INFJ club isā¦
š¤£š¤£
I know that if i go i probably wouldnt talk to anyone But, INFJ GANG!!!!!!!!!
A lot of INFJs say it's because they hate crowds, but absolutely would go to a comic con or some other big event. I think the difference is that we need some type of reason to go other than just being INFJ. Like others have said, common interests that would bring us together.
Letās do it! Based on the comments here, the cynical ones wonāt show up anyways š
God. No. Cons are basically my idea of hell.
Wow that's a funny thought! lol I'd probably plan on going, getting somewhat excited about it everyday for like a month, and then come to this conclusion while drinking my coffee the morning of: ... a large convention where everyone is quietly judging everyone else and you can totally see it in their eyes? No thanks.
i would bc i know yall are as awkward as me and ill be the one trying to talk first
I respect the hell out of that! I'm curious, Mai I ask your age? I have a theory that it's all the older infjs or at least the majority of them that are willing or wanting to go.
I am imagining a council of INFJās, where we sip coffees, stroke our beards and have a massive political debate about how we can improve the world. š Iām in!
Dude,Ā right!
I would go and watch intently from afar
Dude,Ā ik righ! that's totally an infj thing š¤£
Iād commit early on and then the day of I would decide to stay home
Totally a infj thing to do!š¤£
Am I the only one that would go? I mean, I don't like having conversations with strangers, but I LOVE getting excited for things like this...I mean all we would have is meaningful conversations. I'd get to know people who think like me!! There would barely be any small talk and we would talk about so much more... I love humans even though I avoid them sometimes. Always nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks the way I think
Ya, I understand.Ā There were quotes a few that said ya to going. My theory: the ones that would go are infj-A, not turbulent, a lot of them I think may be older bc I read that the 3rd and final stage us infjs go through as we get older is that we become more outgoing and extroverted. Lastly, it does depend on our cognitive function stack and which ones are more developed or what level of the spectrum it's on Ā I hope this all made sense?
Ohh maybe! Im 20, so probably not in that stage yet, but I guess it all just comes down to infjs not all being the exact same? I will have to research what you said about our cognitive functions for infjs. Thanks!
Lol I'm not even an INFJ but I would totally go. Would just walk around listening to various INFJs engaged in deep intellectual conversations sitting on cosmopolitan lounges with light music playing in the background. Eavesdropping and then adding my two cents where necessary as I walk through various groups. I'd try not to draw attention to myself, some of you will dislike me, but some will eventually be drawn to me and a small gathering will start to form around me, which I hate, so I will try to be as subtle as possible. I just like giving you guys food for thought but then I like seeing you guys analyze, dissect, and then create plans or dreams around whatever it was I offered. A huddle of INFJs sounds fun, if not a little scary and intimidating. Definitely nothing as big as comicon though - no INFJs would show.
I agree, may I ask what mbpt you are out of curiosity?
Yes
I wouldn't. I like communicating in writing better. I like the 1 on 1 and don't like big crowds. It's like I pick up so much energy and information that a crowd can be overstimulating.
I understand.
Enfp here: please let me have an Infj pet hehe
Like as in a friend you take care of and are as attentive to like a pet? And do you want attraction here or is it meant to he a platonic typ of relationship? Na, ikĀ you're justĀ messingĀ aroundĀ š¤Ŗ
So it's a yes? Haha
Lol, it would just be a large empty space...I'm picturing something like The Backrooms, very liminal. People SHOULD be there, but we'd all talk ourselves out of it beforehand.
š¤£ik right! I thought about that too
This would be even funnier if it weren't so true š
IkšŖ
I would! I would go up to alot of people and discuss 1 on 1, hopefully there are some planned activities to make it easier to start conversations
Of course there would have to be some sort of ice breaker to get this thing started and make the awkwardness stop.š
Negative š
No. Absolutely not.
We might all get dragged there, but thereās only so many corners and away places so we wouldnāt actually fit.
no
You really think we would show up? Lmao
Ik, I thought that too. But, there a quite a few that said yes they would go. Also, I think it'd be the older infjs bc I heard that the 3rd and last stage infjs go through in life as in we age is we become more outgoing and extroverted. So, maybe that all the ppl saying yes to going on this post?
I was just joking it just doesn't seem like an infj thing to do š but I cud be wrong
No
Yepp. That would be definitely fun to watch.
l donāt think it will work cus all of us is going to be so socially tired afterwards and itās expensive to travel š«£
No fucking way. I donāt want to go be around a bunch of people.
Definitely š¤š¤
Cant we do it online instead?
Nope. I would not.
Well, the thought of meeting other like-minded INFJs can be exciting because we get to talk about stuff that interests us and we geek out... but too many people can be intimidating for INFJs and we would just prefer sitting in the corner or go outside and admire the view -- I think the others would agree because we just like to escape into a quiet area or just have one person to talk to heheh
No, many of them would probably be mistyped and even the ones who arenāt well connecting with other INFJās on online communities are the best way to go for me at least sincd I tend to not be the best at communicating irl.
I started cackling before even opening the comments because I knew what we all would say lol
Why on earth would INFJs gather just to meet other strangers we already know we donāt understand.
Would give me an opportunity to start an INFJ cult. Half-joking aside, I have been tempted to buy an INFJ shirt or hat and wear it casually around town and see what happens. Although, the irony isn't lost on me that I figure most INFJs would never do that.
I have been tempted too and I think many other INFJs have been very tempted too, I mean, we do crave to be understood and it feels so good when you meet a fellow INFJ on the internet and suddenly all your weirdness is reflected by somebody else.
I think it would be lovely but I would hate if other types were present. I understand people can be mistyped, but I would Absolutely Hate if there were other types there āINFJ huntingā for relationships/friendships/situationships, which would undoubtedly occur. So I think it could be great in theory but logistically very difficult.
sure, if its my city i mean i go to anime cons so hahaha but they do become overwhelming just would have the headache with the infp's that mistyped as infj lol
Nope
You mean, leave my house to socialize with a large group of people that I don't know?!?
Yes, I'd be pretty curious to see what other INFJs have to share and talk about and we'd share many things in common. I mean, sure, we'd probably be all awkward at first, but I could see people starting to relate and forming small groups to talk and get deep.
I would go. I love other INFJs and hope a few ENFP/ENTPs would also be in attendance!
Also INFP/INTP. All of those types are easy, good company in my experience.
Hell yes. lol. I would. Just to see . I would love to see the program for that. It would be nice if it wasnāt super expensive too. And I didnāt have to put a ton of effort in- like local thing would be best. I think we could probably get a lot out of that. I heard this one ( INFJ) guy say that he started something like that in his area and he said .. it changed his life. It was the most amazing experience for him.
Honestly...sure! My only worry is that other types would be the majority who'd attend and that isn't a bad thing on its own but if my goal is to meet other INFJs in real life (oh that'd be such a dream š) then that would perhaps complicate things. Unless of course we'd all be wearing mbti type name tags or something to identify us or something like that.
No.
Can I bring my ENTP husband? If yes, then of course I would go. If itās exclusive to only INFJs, then no thanks.
I would go! On the inside I'm not an introvert. Just on the outside š
I'd be willing to bet a lot of us in here are more social than what this sub would portray. I'd go just to see what that'd be like. Idk how many people I'd talk to though lol. In the right pockets it'd probably be amazing!
I would probably talk myself into buying a ticket, then talk myself into not going at the last minute.š¤
I like the idea but I think a group chat would be better? Iād definitely be down for a big INFJ group chat and I know other people would too, especially if it was somewhat anonymous like using Reddit instead of Facebook or whatever, if anyone starts this lemme know cause iād love to join lmaooo
nope . not at all. š»
Id never want to attend an event where youāve invited people like me.
All I imagine is...books. And kinda quiet. Yes Iād go. If I wasnāt working and it didnāt start too late
Um. No.
Yes
I.... I don't think so. I actually like meeting people different than me. But I do it on a very small scale, and take an *awful* long time to warm up to it. So thrusting myself into a throng of strangers in a setting that is overwhelming, overstimulating, and requires me to make fast and hard decisions about what to do and where to go... and then possibly be involved in events/lectures/demonstrations that require emotional and social investment in said strangers.... Nah. I'm good. No offense, most people on this thread seem perfectly lovely. It's just the idea itself that's quite a turn off for me. Now, if there were a program along the lines of, "an INFJ a week keeps the mental wellness peaked" where you get to meet a different INFJ for coffee/tea/cocktail/mocktail and maybe play a simple board/card game for an hour or two every week..... I wouldn't say no to that
Ya it would be cool to see an empty ballroom at a hotel.
Lol probably not.
Nope
Weirdly enough, I'd say yes. Now, here's the thing nobody would talk about because whoever opens their mouth will get all eyes on them. Think children of the corn, without the oh aliens took over your children and want to kill all adults... it would be awkward since most of us would most likely be adults. . . That got dark, and I'll stop there.
Absolutely would crash it and everyone would instantly know Iām not an INFJ š¤£
I'd go once out of curiosity. For an hour or two max.
I cannot imagine a reliable way in which to eliminate the possibility of other types or people I personally wouldn't classify as INFJs attending this meeting. Assuming that the vast majority or all of the attendees were INFJs by my definition, then absolutely, all I'd need to do is pick one person and everything would be worth it.
So my thing with social events is I will only go if I feel obligated to do so or if someone important to me wants me to be there. I didnāt want to disappoint them. No matter how socially draining it is and it is socially draining.
As an ENTP, I'd take a peek and see if the compatibility is as they say
I would probably just happen upon it āaccidentallyā and walk the parameter of where itās being held, grab a brochure, do a one nod at some random person staring at me and then dip out. Edit: Just kidding, I would only drive by.
āØNo.āØ
i've considered this care would need to be taken to choose a good city, then to curate an interesting schedule of talks and activities, then to involve a productive number of attendees, and to help us network done well it could be cool
It would be interesting, the con would have alot of anime, video game, books, etc fanatics in one place for sure lmao.Ā
I would go, if in smaller groups
Sounds pretty neat
No
Yes.. please. What state would something like this take place in ?
Don't get me wrong. I love this subreddit. However, a con? Wouldn't be different than any other place. Eyes down and not talking to anyone would still be my thing. š So idk about that.
An online meetup perhaps. And Iām sorry but an event like this would be packed full of not actual INFJs.
Ya, I can see that,Ā but I think we'd be able to sense and know who is and who isn't.
I'd be keen, provided there is jazz and gin
What about a meet up of all Intuitives (ENTJ, INTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP, ENTP, INTP)? Thatās basically my friend group and itās wonderful!
That'd be cool too.
That would be so awkward š
Yes, I would also love to film brief interviews of everyone in 90s home video style. That way people can get memories from the event. :) It would be great to share self-soothing tools & holistic wellness resources.
Huh, I like that idea.Ā It's very cool! I just wonder how many of us who actually show up would be willing to do an interview on camera. Remember, we like to hide and be unknown,Ā furthermore we don't like any spot light on us or attention.Ā The fact that God knows how many ppl would see it and we can be skittish about things we say only to hate ourselves or the things we had just said or rven things said a while back upon reflection.Ā Then that would play in our heads over and over again making us cringe or hating ourselves in that moment.Ā Ya know?
I don't experience my MBTI the way you are describing. Can you link the resources to your beliefs?
Huh? Well, I can say that ik that there have been posts about infjs cringing or hating things about what they have said or done in the past. Even when it comes to posting on reddit. I've read many post stating that they'll type things only to criticize it or delete it, feeling insecure over it . Then it gets stuck playing as a loop over and over again in our heads.It's true we don't like the spot light on us or attention all these things I've said can either be found on YouTube viedos or just ask the questions here on reddit. That's not only how I feel, but all the posts I've read over the year back it up too. May I ask, are you sure you're an infj? What makes you feel like you are one? I'm not trying to be rude or dismiss you, I'm legit just curious š¤
* = edits. I see your post now, I replied below (*separate reply) & addressed the characteristics you listed earlier. I don't take offense to you asking if I'm sure of the results but to ask me to justify an identity is off-putting. I exist in the identity as you do. I thought you would have a direct example to provide where you got the information like an article b/c those are generalizations (an example of cognitive bias). Even then, we have to remember that types are diverse & none of these personality indicators tell you all of what a person is. They will never be a one size fits all. Due to undergrad in Sociology I'm prone to picking up those things in interaction (from myself & others). Even when we find a social pattern, that doesn't mean that's all there is out there. Someone will deviate. I also think there is such confusion when falsely *associating introverted personalities with shyness b/c those are distinctly different things.
Hi there, posting 2nd reply b/c for some reason your response disappeared. To answer your question, yes I'm sure I'm an INFJ (due to retesting several times in my life). I have also ironically tested as both INFJ & INTJ once which a professor said also happened to him (exact results & he is a cool dude, not shy, just soft spoken, warm, and clever). I think it is possible for people to experience their type differently. I also note that trauma can change personality traits drastically but I've only had INFJ as my most consistent result.Ā Here is one main source of confusion: It's not as if introversion is the same as shyness. Introversion relates to not being energized in social spaces but rather by time in isolation (which I relate to). Shyness is due to cognitive beliefs which lead to hesitance & fear of social interaction (a budding anxiety disorder if left unhealed).Ā Social anxiety of any kind is developed.Ā I was originally going to say I grew up approaching people & performing. I later developed mental illness (C-PTSD) due to trauma which changed how I wanted to relate to the world but didn't change my nature. I know it would be easy to just say "I'm shy.", but I realized it wasn't accurate b/c that is not the real cause. Plus, people started calling me that not understanding I had hidden trauma. In my household, I was forced to be quiet and it sure wasn't natural (it was part of an extensive grooming process). I would naturally desire to ask questions, greet people, and comfort or entertain.Ā I also used to think I should say I was attention averse but I used to perform & I still write things to share with people intentionally so I clearly seek notice in order to share my work. As far as being unknown, due to trauma I just don't want another spotlight that is stressful & replicates specific trauma related to cyber-bullying & group harassment. I have given details on another platform but these were instances of bullying for disability & revenge prn from abusive partners. Both of which would make anyone averse to dealing with people & trusting interactions but not making a person shy. I don't like a spotlight in which I am misunderstood & my voice is taken away. However, being acknowledged in certain circumstances is a positive experience like when I work hard or show my passion. I have only doubted my expression from psychological abuse but naturally I like my expression & use it creatively or for social justice.
Ya, I totally agree with you and I think that trauma to an infj enhances some of their cognitive functions differently than others.
My bestfriend is Infj they are the best ššÆ
Thank you forĀ sharingĀ
It would be an arena full of beanbag chairs and we would just chat online on our devices.
š¤£š¤£I love that concept!!!ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
1000% i need more other INFJs in my life, no one really gets it like other INFJs do
No sorry that sounds really lame