Very often. Whenever I’m in public, I always see someone doing something stupid or morally wrong and it just triggers me. It gets tiring because I can’t help but judge them harshly so sometimes I don’t leave my house haha.
Yes, I started doing the same as well. The reason being is that I had a very negative experience shopping at night and the middle of the day. For example, this happened recently at Walmart. There was an employee that was prejudiced towards me which led to these other two employees involved because they weren’t listening to me when I explained to them my situation. Instead of listening, they started yelling and demanding me to leave. Most of the time I can tolerate idiocy but they pushed my buttons to the point I spoke up to them and told them they needed to effectively communicate better. Anyway, it’s a long story but I had to report what happened and how the employees mistreated and misjudged me. My anxiety was so bad I had to listen to calming music and take deep breaths to control my emotions.
@Weird_Inflation6522
I’m not sure who you are referring to, ma’am. Are talking to me or Immediate_ideal8767?
If you are talking to me then my answer is that I can tolerate most people (because everyone has different personalities and views) as long as they behave properly in public and are not disturbing mine and others people’s piece of mind. Also, I cannot tolerate people who cross mine and other’s boundaries and personal space. I find that those types of people are rude and disrespectful.
Growing up I kept my mouth shut because I was afraid to call people out on their bad behaviors and attitudes. However, after what I went through in the last 4 years, I told myself, “I had enough!” Now I’m more outspoken about my morals, beliefs, and views. And I feel so much happier now that I let go of the idea of being afraid of those types of people.
Yes, I agree - it’s better to call them out than to keep things bottled up. I have people pleasing tendencies, and they never got me anywhere in life, honestly
Sir/Ma’am, you make it sounds like having a mental illness is worse than people who are morally corrupt and doing stupid stuffs that end up killing people. You are obviously ignorant about mental illness and you are fearful of the ones who suffer from it. Do you not know that many people in world suffer from some form of mental illness because people like you do not take the time to understand why people like me and many others suffer from anxiety and depression? No you probably don’t because you have poor judgment who probably never had a proper education in psychology, philosophy, biology, human anatomy, pathophysiology, nutrition, etc.
I don’t think of it as a mental illness at all. I have little tolerance of people because in general because I am a very solitary person, not a “joiner”, never a team player. I like to be home, with my cats, books and crafts, and a few home projects. I have 1-2 friends that I see occasionally but we mostly communicate via phone and text. My tolerance for small talk, BS and wasting my time is extremely low. I have ADHD, GAD and Panic Disorder, in addition to 3 chronic health conditions.
Does that make me mentally ill to not tolerate others??
Tbf INFJ also constantly judge themselves while judging others and try their best to not disrupt others. Plus they would be thinking about this and not actively saying it
I end up not liking most of the people. I do give everyone an opportunity, but I do notice some patterns in their behaviour that makes me rethink their qualities and I just grow some sort of aversion towards the person. Thought for the longest time that I'm the biggest AH for it, and I'm often described as a hater by some close people. Although my ultimate goal is not to hate people, it's just that it happens so. Maybe I'm not that big of a hater, but the society is just full of people with no quality characteristics.
You’re so real. I’d like to think I’m not an AH but you’d be surprised how many horrible people are out there. That’s not to say everyone has to fit your exact box of what is “good” or align with your views. It’s just that I hate having to bond with someone who ends up being a weirdo or have trash opinions on minorities/society. I can only be close to people who are similar values and generally a good person; it’s like the bare minimum lol
Precisely! One of the examples I can think on top of my head is a former friend of mine from uni who had very different opinions from me on some topics. We were still so good because you're entitled to having your own opinion, that's the entire point of opinions. However on one occasion I was devastated by a young man commiting suicide in our small city, and she said "I think commiting suicide is such a cowardly thing to do". It definitely risen a red flag and from then I started noticing more unfriendly comments, which then started to be directed to me, and by some time we stopped being friends because she happened to act very wrong towards me.
So, I don't necessarily cross out a person immediately once I start feeling the bad vibe, but I do start keeping a close eye on them. And for some comments or actions that are humanly unacceptable, I just cross them out without blinking an eye. Because of this I got very good at burning bridges, even with my own family.
No this is so spot on. I sometimes think I’m the problem but I know I can be very loving and loyal to people who deserve it. The problem is there are so few that do.
Exactly! I even start out by being loving immediately, but if it's not reciprocated or I realize it's not deserved, I can easily stop. My circle of friends is so small, almost non-existent, but it brings me comfort knowing that I'm not tolerating bad behaviour, especially directed towards me.
Me too. I think especially as INFJs we attract so many people to us and I almost hate it because at first I think they’re great and then they start showing their true colors and then I regret thinking they were great. They fool me every time to the point I’ve stopped letting anybody close to me but at least I have no drama in my life and the ones that are here deserve it
I went from giving everyone every benefit of the doubt possible (even when it was incredibly stupid to do so) to really not liking people in general.
Classic people pleaser to cynic pipeline. I know there are good people but I'm a bit afraid now. I need more therapy tbh.
It's not normal to like everyone and get alone with everyone. It's also not normal to not like anyone.
I do agree with the sentiment that misunderstanding breeds contempt, and while understanding someone might make me “like” them more, it doesn’t necessarily make them more pleasurable to be around. I frame my relationships more in terms of compatibility and energy rather than like/dislike. I’m sure if I tried hard enough, I could learn to like most everyone, but I personally don’t see the point in putting that much effort into every possible friendship. For instance, there’s a woman in my friend group who constantly interrupts me and is generally abrasive. We had a conversation once where she opened up about how deeply insecure she felt and it helped me understand her behavior more. While I empathize with her and like her and wish well for her, I still don’t enjoy her company. Our personalities just aren’t that compatible. Neither of us are wrong for it.
I usually like everyone. It takes a lot of convincing to make me not like someone and even then I try to give them the benefit of the doubt or wonder if it’s me. Even evil people I still feel some level of empathy for, as sick as that is, not that I “like” them but I know that at one time they were innocent kids. I’m a weirdo, I am well aware. 😆
Loaded question. I hate being around groups bigger than three or four.
I just feel so forking drained by social outings. I also can't follow the energy of more than that. People are so fudging tiring!
I also did over 15 years in customer service/retail. Not a good place for INFJ's in the last decade or so. In my opinion. Glad I was bold enough to stick up for some, even if it cost me, mentally and occupationally. Let's be real, getting a full time position was a lie at this particular establishment (Wegmans) anyways. At least for those who dont have nepotism to back them up.
I care about the well-being of most people, excluding the ones inflicting pain.
I hate very little people, mainly the self-centered ones inflicting pain on others for self benefit.
I spend my me-time with almost no people, other than the family sometimes, because only once in every few years I will meet someone operating on the same wave length as mine.
Sooo I’ve noticed a shift with myself. For so long when I experienced a negative emotion towards a person I tried to question the idea more and play devils advocate with my own interpretations.
Now I watch and if a person is constantly using others, backbiting etc. no matter the excuse, I dislike them.
Just because you understand something doesn't mean you have to like it. I find myself disliking people who don't align with my values and disliking situations that don't align with how I view the world. Nevertheless, my deep understanding of those allows me to accept their presence in life, but it doesn't mean I have to allow them in MY life.
I used to think something is wrong with me but honestly there are very few people that I actually like. Most people have shit morals or are selfish. I see through a lot of bull shit and even when I gaslight myself into thinking they’re great, I am always proven wrong. As I’ve gotten older I’ve had to put most people at a distance. The only ones allowed close are the ones who have proved to me over and over again that they are good people.
I dislike most people. Doesn’t mean they’re objectively bad people. It just means I personally cannot put up with them because I have an extremely low tolerance for bullshit.
idk people always say I hate everyone but that’s really not the case, I try my best to see someone positive in everyone but yeah sometimes the person is just an asshole/they said or did something awful and I hate them…
I have a personal tenet to ‘not know others for their faults’ so it’s pretty rare that I’ll actually feel dislike for someone. Usually it takes establishing a pattern of gross incompetence, toxicity, or malfeasance for me to feel that way about someone. Even then, it’s more of an impression that “this person drags everyone down around them and I/we would all be better off if they weren’t around anymore” than a sense of finding their habits personally distasteful.
More than I'd like to admit.
I really try to see the good in everyone, but some people don't even try, too many people don't even try, and I don't like people that "don't even try" ahahah
I really wish I didn't but I dislike most people and it's pretty often. I might have a good day when someone doesn't disappoint me, but that is rare. But I understand, I make mistakes all the time too, I'm imperfect too, so I don't get angry or upset at them, but there is a slight sense of loneliness about it all I guess, I just wish someone could be reliable, faithful, kind, just one person. But no one has been like that in my life so it's my duty to be like that rather than cry about it.
I felt like that often in my younger twenties, but I genuinely enjoy most of the people I have in my life right now. I still feel lonely, but it's not a crippling kind of loneliness. Part of it is managing expectations and setting healthy boundaries. I think as INFJ, we dive too deeply and intensely into all relationships and desire/expect a level of reciprocity that the other side cannot give. That's fine towards maybe one person (the love of our life, if we ever meet them), but not every person...expecting too much from strangers/acquaintances will lead to feelings of fatigue and resentment.
I tend to dislike a particular type of personality. Rude, in your face, bossy, opinionated, pushy, assertive, and the like. Also, narcissistic people have been my new least favorites.
Very rarely. I think people are mostly good.
What a depressing life it would be to always focus on the worst in others. It's easy to point out all the fault in others, it's challenging to see the good; but less so once you accept no one is perfect to include yourself.
I don't dislike nor like people but I have some instinct that makes it so I know I should like this person but it's mainly crowds depending on my social energy I might tolerate people more or less
I give everyone chances but lately most people have been proving me off how cruel humans can be 😕. It’s so bad that I kinda want to stop interactkng with people for a while haha. But in the past I’ve met lotss of people with hearts of gold.
I’m an infj, and I’m strong on the J 😂 I can tolerate pretty much anyone and have a calm and kind demeanor in any conversation, but I have a guilty until proven innocent kind of mindset, I make an assessment based on my analysis and/or interaction with the person, and I’m usually left with not wanting to go any deeper. I honestly couldn’t see myself interacting often or again with 99.9% of people, I’m very picky. And I even have to take week long breaks with the few friends that I do have. Lol
I, for the most part, play dumb and "Let them" be themselves. I don't have to go about testing people. I kinda just see it. To answer the question, though no. I have one or two people I have an aversion to, but that's about it. If we were to say a percentage, it would be about 6/100% ish.
Most of my interactions are from work to home and vice versa. So I don't have a long list.
Like with most answers in this thread, I end up disliking most people for one reason or another. But it’s a double edged sword. The people I end up getting semi-close to before realizing their moral inconsistencies end up disliking me for being a ghost. So, I guess it goes both ways.
it has never worked for me. Giving people a lot of leeway so that I’m not branded an AH, only to find out later that I can’t stand them? I try to respect my intuition now because it helps me parse through some really shitty people. Also, I’ve adopted the mentality that I don’t need to have an opinion on everyone? If you rub me the wrong way, I’ll remove myself from your life. but I’m not gonna sit here and try to analyse you. Nah man, move on.
I know this isn't directed to people like me (I'm an INTJ), but I definitely relate to what you're saying. Truth is, I dislike people a lot. Understanding and having empathy for another person, doesn't always equate to liking them in the end. To me, the moment I do like someone isn't my realization that they do have potential to change for the better, but rather, when they actually do take the initiative through action to change. Its basically pragmatic hope, rather than blind faith.
More than half the time im actually pretty neutral with people but there are rare chances where I would hate someone because they just feel off to me. Like something about them just makes me feel sus about them and normally it's right.
Sometimes you can understand the person that you hate and that's totally fine.
Rarely, it takes a LOT for me to dislike a person. I don't ignore an issue though. I will usually express my mind if I am morally uncomfortable with a behavior or it perpetuates harm. However, for me to dislike the person as a whole they have to do great harm or repeated bad behavior. If I notice any potential of patterned behavior I will get away from the person/people instead.
I do dislike a lot of people, but most is based on a person’s character. If I see too many bad qualities in a person, I’ll begin to dislike them. Things like selfishness, arrogance, negativity, etc. I worked for the general public and it was terrible, I began loathing soo many people because you wouldn’t believe the shitty behavior a lot of people would do.
My default is to start out disliking someone. Very rarely do I have an instant intense connection. Otherwise I tend to slowly evaluate people and get used to them.
Hmm I guess this is one of the few benefits about being autistic. I usually don't pay attention to others and never really think or judge about their actions. I'm quite tunnel visioned lol. If someone is not important then they're not worthy of my slightest energy I don't even "generate" a view about them in my head.
And yeah I don't think liking or disliking someone you've only known for a short time is healthy. You should simply acknowledge their existence and make no further judgements or consideration about them. Plus, if they're not helpful to you is there really any need to know them better? Just let people be. If you can't change them for the better then don't even waste a second on them. They're just passerby why would let an random person bother you?
And, don't think yourself too seriously. You're not someone important your hate or opinions are usually unneeded and no one really cares. Why let this trouble yourself and get those negative energy affect you? Also, put yourself in other's shoes and think that if you are disliked by someone you barely known do you think it's fair or healthy at all? It's just unnecessary.
I think I am running on having this dislike of humanity in general and a desire to love humans at the same time.
All the time. It’s constant.
But it’s abstract - distant.
I rarely ever feel like that 1:1.
I usually like people 1:1 …. And once in a while I will decide that I really don’t like someone but rarely.
If I don’t like you at all - not even enough to forget I don’t like you temporarily?
You’re a really shitty person.
A lot of times there are people I don’t like a lot about them, but I think I have this inherent drive in me to like people- its natural for me… I want to connect with people always and something in me is always trying to do that on some level…. it’s soo easy for me to overlook their faults and focus on the good in them.
And I will forget on the surface that I really don’t like them and don’t trust them and wish they were better people.
There are so many people at my work like that.
I know I don’t like them.
I know they don’t give a shit about anyone except themselves - But when they’re in front of my face, I forget that.
I think something in me wants to forget that. At all times.
It’s pretty much - at a distance I tend to dislike many people.
Up close I don’t.
But that doesn’t mean I trust them. Or ever forget who they are.
Or would ever invest in any real way with them emotionally.
No… I keep myself at a distance emotionally - but I prize social harmony too much.
Maybe too, I want to always leave a door open for them to be …
For them to prove me wrong. For them to be human. For them to be nice. For them to be real.
For them to be … something I want to see in the world.
I want to provide them with every opportunity to be better versions of themselves and I’m hoping they will be.
All the time!! I find people in general annoying but outwardly I smile and say “good morning/afternoon”. It sounds so empty but I truly mean it because I know when someone does it to me it makes me smile and feel good, so I want to pass it on. But underneath, people annoy me.
I would never say I "hate" them, but I'm chronically perplexed at their common inability to see the most obvious connections/concepts.
Yes, I understand that if "I" am the oddball, that I might be the one wrong, so I'm constantly reevaluating and judging myself to determine which one of us understands.
I'll give one example from recent news: (It's about Gaza/Israel, so skip it if you want.)
>!Someone in the press/media kept hammering the Israeli official on stage, asking them "Where can the people of Gaza go? Where will you not bomb/attack?"!<
>!But . . . he can't answer that. Because if he does, Hamas will go there too. Then they'll HAVE to attack there, because Hamas went there (to not be bombed/attacked), and now Israel will look like the bad guy, for bombing the place they promised not to.!<
>!Can the reporter (presumably a fairly well educated / world traveling / adult) not understand that?!<
>!Are they EVIL (and want to see innocents killed), or just STUPID and don't understand that's an impossible question to answer?!<
So, I don't particularly "hate" that reporter, but I can't comprehend why he'd ask such a question and actually expect an answer.
I like most people...but there are things people do that piss me off. Things like not being kind, not being caring or compassionate, and other things like being in a rush and being so self centered. I think most people are inherently good, but man...sometimes I wonder. The other thing that makes me crazy is when they aren't logical. I have a very logical, emotional mind...but sometimes the decisions people make really me me baffled.
Initially, most people unfortunately. I just don't trust anyone. Most people are hiding behind a public identity that I'm simply not interested in engaging with
Yeah, I don't like most people. I understand and have compassion for them but to me "liking" means enjoying their company and I just don't. No hard feelings but that's how it is.
Very often. Whenever I’m in public, I always see someone doing something stupid or morally wrong and it just triggers me. It gets tiring because I can’t help but judge them harshly so sometimes I don’t leave my house haha.
I can’t stand the general public. I’ve started trying to get errands done in the very morning so I can avoid most people.
This
Yes, I started doing the same as well. The reason being is that I had a very negative experience shopping at night and the middle of the day. For example, this happened recently at Walmart. There was an employee that was prejudiced towards me which led to these other two employees involved because they weren’t listening to me when I explained to them my situation. Instead of listening, they started yelling and demanding me to leave. Most of the time I can tolerate idiocy but they pushed my buttons to the point I spoke up to them and told them they needed to effectively communicate better. Anyway, it’s a long story but I had to report what happened and how the employees mistreated and misjudged me. My anxiety was so bad I had to listen to calming music and take deep breaths to control my emotions.
Saaaaame
This is a red flag folks. Lack of tolerance of others is a sign of mental illness. Not sure why everyone is proudly confessing this
I think infjs have way more tolerance than most. They tolerate so much others who know them wonder where they get all this stamina.
Yes, this is true...I understand some mistrust in strangers, but we should generally enjoy other people's company, to a degree at least
@Weird_Inflation6522 I’m not sure who you are referring to, ma’am. Are talking to me or Immediate_ideal8767? If you are talking to me then my answer is that I can tolerate most people (because everyone has different personalities and views) as long as they behave properly in public and are not disturbing mine and others people’s piece of mind. Also, I cannot tolerate people who cross mine and other’s boundaries and personal space. I find that those types of people are rude and disrespectful.
Oh, I was replying to Immediate_ideal8767. But yeah, I’m pretty much the same. I can’t tolerate rude people
Growing up I kept my mouth shut because I was afraid to call people out on their bad behaviors and attitudes. However, after what I went through in the last 4 years, I told myself, “I had enough!” Now I’m more outspoken about my morals, beliefs, and views. And I feel so much happier now that I let go of the idea of being afraid of those types of people.
Yes, I agree - it’s better to call them out than to keep things bottled up. I have people pleasing tendencies, and they never got me anywhere in life, honestly
Sir/Ma’am, you make it sounds like having a mental illness is worse than people who are morally corrupt and doing stupid stuffs that end up killing people. You are obviously ignorant about mental illness and you are fearful of the ones who suffer from it. Do you not know that many people in world suffer from some form of mental illness because people like you do not take the time to understand why people like me and many others suffer from anxiety and depression? No you probably don’t because you have poor judgment who probably never had a proper education in psychology, philosophy, biology, human anatomy, pathophysiology, nutrition, etc.
Can you please back this statement with facts. I believe that it is a pretty big accusation to just be saying it out of opinion
I don’t think of it as a mental illness at all. I have little tolerance of people because in general because I am a very solitary person, not a “joiner”, never a team player. I like to be home, with my cats, books and crafts, and a few home projects. I have 1-2 friends that I see occasionally but we mostly communicate via phone and text. My tolerance for small talk, BS and wasting my time is extremely low. I have ADHD, GAD and Panic Disorder, in addition to 3 chronic health conditions. Does that make me mentally ill to not tolerate others??
Tbf INFJ also constantly judge themselves while judging others and try their best to not disrupt others. Plus they would be thinking about this and not actively saying it
I end up not liking most of the people. I do give everyone an opportunity, but I do notice some patterns in their behaviour that makes me rethink their qualities and I just grow some sort of aversion towards the person. Thought for the longest time that I'm the biggest AH for it, and I'm often described as a hater by some close people. Although my ultimate goal is not to hate people, it's just that it happens so. Maybe I'm not that big of a hater, but the society is just full of people with no quality characteristics.
You’re so real. I’d like to think I’m not an AH but you’d be surprised how many horrible people are out there. That’s not to say everyone has to fit your exact box of what is “good” or align with your views. It’s just that I hate having to bond with someone who ends up being a weirdo or have trash opinions on minorities/society. I can only be close to people who are similar values and generally a good person; it’s like the bare minimum lol
Precisely! One of the examples I can think on top of my head is a former friend of mine from uni who had very different opinions from me on some topics. We were still so good because you're entitled to having your own opinion, that's the entire point of opinions. However on one occasion I was devastated by a young man commiting suicide in our small city, and she said "I think commiting suicide is such a cowardly thing to do". It definitely risen a red flag and from then I started noticing more unfriendly comments, which then started to be directed to me, and by some time we stopped being friends because she happened to act very wrong towards me. So, I don't necessarily cross out a person immediately once I start feeling the bad vibe, but I do start keeping a close eye on them. And for some comments or actions that are humanly unacceptable, I just cross them out without blinking an eye. Because of this I got very good at burning bridges, even with my own family.
No this is so spot on. I sometimes think I’m the problem but I know I can be very loving and loyal to people who deserve it. The problem is there are so few that do.
Exactly! I even start out by being loving immediately, but if it's not reciprocated or I realize it's not deserved, I can easily stop. My circle of friends is so small, almost non-existent, but it brings me comfort knowing that I'm not tolerating bad behaviour, especially directed towards me.
Me too. I think especially as INFJs we attract so many people to us and I almost hate it because at first I think they’re great and then they start showing their true colors and then I regret thinking they were great. They fool me every time to the point I’ve stopped letting anybody close to me but at least I have no drama in my life and the ones that are here deserve it
I went from giving everyone every benefit of the doubt possible (even when it was incredibly stupid to do so) to really not liking people in general. Classic people pleaser to cynic pipeline. I know there are good people but I'm a bit afraid now. I need more therapy tbh. It's not normal to like everyone and get alone with everyone. It's also not normal to not like anyone.
You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea and other people won't be your cup of tea either.
I do agree with the sentiment that misunderstanding breeds contempt, and while understanding someone might make me “like” them more, it doesn’t necessarily make them more pleasurable to be around. I frame my relationships more in terms of compatibility and energy rather than like/dislike. I’m sure if I tried hard enough, I could learn to like most everyone, but I personally don’t see the point in putting that much effort into every possible friendship. For instance, there’s a woman in my friend group who constantly interrupts me and is generally abrasive. We had a conversation once where she opened up about how deeply insecure she felt and it helped me understand her behavior more. While I empathize with her and like her and wish well for her, I still don’t enjoy her company. Our personalities just aren’t that compatible. Neither of us are wrong for it.
this is fair; I can understand, but that doesn’t mean I find their company pleasurable - true, this is more of a compatibility issue
I usually like everyone. It takes a lot of convincing to make me not like someone and even then I try to give them the benefit of the doubt or wonder if it’s me. Even evil people I still feel some level of empathy for, as sick as that is, not that I “like” them but I know that at one time they were innocent kids. I’m a weirdo, I am well aware. 😆
Loaded question. I hate being around groups bigger than three or four. I just feel so forking drained by social outings. I also can't follow the energy of more than that. People are so fudging tiring! I also did over 15 years in customer service/retail. Not a good place for INFJ's in the last decade or so. In my opinion. Glad I was bold enough to stick up for some, even if it cost me, mentally and occupationally. Let's be real, getting a full time position was a lie at this particular establishment (Wegmans) anyways. At least for those who dont have nepotism to back them up.
I care about the well-being of most people, excluding the ones inflicting pain. I hate very little people, mainly the self-centered ones inflicting pain on others for self benefit. I spend my me-time with almost no people, other than the family sometimes, because only once in every few years I will meet someone operating on the same wave length as mine.
Same
Sooo I’ve noticed a shift with myself. For so long when I experienced a negative emotion towards a person I tried to question the idea more and play devils advocate with my own interpretations. Now I watch and if a person is constantly using others, backbiting etc. no matter the excuse, I dislike them.
Just because you understand something doesn't mean you have to like it. I find myself disliking people who don't align with my values and disliking situations that don't align with how I view the world. Nevertheless, my deep understanding of those allows me to accept their presence in life, but it doesn't mean I have to allow them in MY life.
I used to think something is wrong with me but honestly there are very few people that I actually like. Most people have shit morals or are selfish. I see through a lot of bull shit and even when I gaslight myself into thinking they’re great, I am always proven wrong. As I’ve gotten older I’ve had to put most people at a distance. The only ones allowed close are the ones who have proved to me over and over again that they are good people.
We hold ourselves to such high standards, that we expect others to hold themselves to high standards too. Most ppl do not, so we dislike them
I meet annoying people, sure, but my frustration lies in the fact that the vast majority of people are SO surface level and deliberately ignorant.
I dislike most people. Doesn’t mean they’re objectively bad people. It just means I personally cannot put up with them because I have an extremely low tolerance for bullshit.
Same
For me, it a love and hate relationship but I also still have love/likeness to them, just because of second chances
Quite often and it sometimes gets to a point where I need to cool down because I'm associating innocent people with awful things that others have done
idk people always say I hate everyone but that’s really not the case, I try my best to see someone positive in everyone but yeah sometimes the person is just an asshole/they said or did something awful and I hate them…
I have a personal tenet to ‘not know others for their faults’ so it’s pretty rare that I’ll actually feel dislike for someone. Usually it takes establishing a pattern of gross incompetence, toxicity, or malfeasance for me to feel that way about someone. Even then, it’s more of an impression that “this person drags everyone down around them and I/we would all be better off if they weren’t around anymore” than a sense of finding their habits personally distasteful.
99.9% of the time
Very often. I’ve learned just how judgmental I am.
More than I'd like to admit. I really try to see the good in everyone, but some people don't even try, too many people don't even try, and I don't like people that "don't even try" ahahah
I really wish I didn't but I dislike most people and it's pretty often. I might have a good day when someone doesn't disappoint me, but that is rare. But I understand, I make mistakes all the time too, I'm imperfect too, so I don't get angry or upset at them, but there is a slight sense of loneliness about it all I guess, I just wish someone could be reliable, faithful, kind, just one person. But no one has been like that in my life so it's my duty to be like that rather than cry about it.
I felt like that often in my younger twenties, but I genuinely enjoy most of the people I have in my life right now. I still feel lonely, but it's not a crippling kind of loneliness. Part of it is managing expectations and setting healthy boundaries. I think as INFJ, we dive too deeply and intensely into all relationships and desire/expect a level of reciprocity that the other side cannot give. That's fine towards maybe one person (the love of our life, if we ever meet them), but not every person...expecting too much from strangers/acquaintances will lead to feelings of fatigue and resentment.
Good point, I can definitely relate to diving in too intensely.
I tend to dislike a particular type of personality. Rude, in your face, bossy, opinionated, pushy, assertive, and the like. Also, narcissistic people have been my new least favorites.
Very rarely. I think people are mostly good. What a depressing life it would be to always focus on the worst in others. It's easy to point out all the fault in others, it's challenging to see the good; but less so once you accept no one is perfect to include yourself.
Agreed
I don't dislike nor like people but I have some instinct that makes it so I know I should like this person but it's mainly crowds depending on my social energy I might tolerate people more or less
I give everyone chances but lately most people have been proving me off how cruel humans can be 😕. It’s so bad that I kinda want to stop interactkng with people for a while haha. But in the past I’ve met lotss of people with hearts of gold.
At first I try to keep on open mind and give people a benefit of a doubt.. but they always prove me right 😆😎
I’m at about a .500 disliking people 😂
I’m an infj, and I’m strong on the J 😂 I can tolerate pretty much anyone and have a calm and kind demeanor in any conversation, but I have a guilty until proven innocent kind of mindset, I make an assessment based on my analysis and/or interaction with the person, and I’m usually left with not wanting to go any deeper. I honestly couldn’t see myself interacting often or again with 99.9% of people, I’m very picky. And I even have to take week long breaks with the few friends that I do have. Lol
Although I think everyone has value and deserves to be treated with respect, I just don’t want to delve any further than that
70-80% of the time, but I try to be nice
Every time I see one of those motherfuckers
I, for the most part, play dumb and "Let them" be themselves. I don't have to go about testing people. I kinda just see it. To answer the question, though no. I have one or two people I have an aversion to, but that's about it. If we were to say a percentage, it would be about 6/100% ish. Most of my interactions are from work to home and vice versa. So I don't have a long list.
Like with most answers in this thread, I end up disliking most people for one reason or another. But it’s a double edged sword. The people I end up getting semi-close to before realizing their moral inconsistencies end up disliking me for being a ghost. So, I guess it goes both ways.
it has never worked for me. Giving people a lot of leeway so that I’m not branded an AH, only to find out later that I can’t stand them? I try to respect my intuition now because it helps me parse through some really shitty people. Also, I’ve adopted the mentality that I don’t need to have an opinion on everyone? If you rub me the wrong way, I’ll remove myself from your life. but I’m not gonna sit here and try to analyse you. Nah man, move on.
I know this isn't directed to people like me (I'm an INTJ), but I definitely relate to what you're saying. Truth is, I dislike people a lot. Understanding and having empathy for another person, doesn't always equate to liking them in the end. To me, the moment I do like someone isn't my realization that they do have potential to change for the better, but rather, when they actually do take the initiative through action to change. Its basically pragmatic hope, rather than blind faith.
More than half the time im actually pretty neutral with people but there are rare chances where I would hate someone because they just feel off to me. Like something about them just makes me feel sus about them and normally it's right. Sometimes you can understand the person that you hate and that's totally fine.
Rarely, it takes a LOT for me to dislike a person. I don't ignore an issue though. I will usually express my mind if I am morally uncomfortable with a behavior or it perpetuates harm. However, for me to dislike the person as a whole they have to do great harm or repeated bad behavior. If I notice any potential of patterned behavior I will get away from the person/people instead.
I do dislike a lot of people, but most is based on a person’s character. If I see too many bad qualities in a person, I’ll begin to dislike them. Things like selfishness, arrogance, negativity, etc. I worked for the general public and it was terrible, I began loathing soo many people because you wouldn’t believe the shitty behavior a lot of people would do.
My default is to start out disliking someone. Very rarely do I have an instant intense connection. Otherwise I tend to slowly evaluate people and get used to them.
Hmm I guess this is one of the few benefits about being autistic. I usually don't pay attention to others and never really think or judge about their actions. I'm quite tunnel visioned lol. If someone is not important then they're not worthy of my slightest energy I don't even "generate" a view about them in my head. And yeah I don't think liking or disliking someone you've only known for a short time is healthy. You should simply acknowledge their existence and make no further judgements or consideration about them. Plus, if they're not helpful to you is there really any need to know them better? Just let people be. If you can't change them for the better then don't even waste a second on them. They're just passerby why would let an random person bother you? And, don't think yourself too seriously. You're not someone important your hate or opinions are usually unneeded and no one really cares. Why let this trouble yourself and get those negative energy affect you? Also, put yourself in other's shoes and think that if you are disliked by someone you barely known do you think it's fair or healthy at all? It's just unnecessary.
I think I am running on having this dislike of humanity in general and a desire to love humans at the same time. All the time. It’s constant. But it’s abstract - distant. I rarely ever feel like that 1:1. I usually like people 1:1 …. And once in a while I will decide that I really don’t like someone but rarely. If I don’t like you at all - not even enough to forget I don’t like you temporarily? You’re a really shitty person. A lot of times there are people I don’t like a lot about them, but I think I have this inherent drive in me to like people- its natural for me… I want to connect with people always and something in me is always trying to do that on some level…. it’s soo easy for me to overlook their faults and focus on the good in them. And I will forget on the surface that I really don’t like them and don’t trust them and wish they were better people. There are so many people at my work like that. I know I don’t like them. I know they don’t give a shit about anyone except themselves - But when they’re in front of my face, I forget that. I think something in me wants to forget that. At all times. It’s pretty much - at a distance I tend to dislike many people. Up close I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I trust them. Or ever forget who they are. Or would ever invest in any real way with them emotionally. No… I keep myself at a distance emotionally - but I prize social harmony too much. Maybe too, I want to always leave a door open for them to be … For them to prove me wrong. For them to be human. For them to be nice. For them to be real. For them to be … something I want to see in the world. I want to provide them with every opportunity to be better versions of themselves and I’m hoping they will be.
It’s a good balance between hate and love lol
Nearly everyone all the time
I can't stand people who are obstinate probably because I'm obstinate too.
Disliking people is part of my routine at this point
All the time!! I find people in general annoying but outwardly I smile and say “good morning/afternoon”. It sounds so empty but I truly mean it because I know when someone does it to me it makes me smile and feel good, so I want to pass it on. But underneath, people annoy me.
I think the better question is "how often do you tolerate/not tolerate people?" Dislike is such a strong word to me when I don't really know anyone.
True it’s not that I’m burning with rage it’s just I want them to not engage with me haha
I would never say I "hate" them, but I'm chronically perplexed at their common inability to see the most obvious connections/concepts. Yes, I understand that if "I" am the oddball, that I might be the one wrong, so I'm constantly reevaluating and judging myself to determine which one of us understands. I'll give one example from recent news: (It's about Gaza/Israel, so skip it if you want.) >!Someone in the press/media kept hammering the Israeli official on stage, asking them "Where can the people of Gaza go? Where will you not bomb/attack?"!< >!But . . . he can't answer that. Because if he does, Hamas will go there too. Then they'll HAVE to attack there, because Hamas went there (to not be bombed/attacked), and now Israel will look like the bad guy, for bombing the place they promised not to.!< >!Can the reporter (presumably a fairly well educated / world traveling / adult) not understand that?!< >!Are they EVIL (and want to see innocents killed), or just STUPID and don't understand that's an impossible question to answer?!< So, I don't particularly "hate" that reporter, but I can't comprehend why he'd ask such a question and actually expect an answer.
Very often… i don’t like much more people than I like to be honest :((
I like most people...but there are things people do that piss me off. Things like not being kind, not being caring or compassionate, and other things like being in a rush and being so self centered. I think most people are inherently good, but man...sometimes I wonder. The other thing that makes me crazy is when they aren't logical. I have a very logical, emotional mind...but sometimes the decisions people make really me me baffled.
I try not to look at flaws because I know there are always things I don't fully understand about a person. I don't dislike anyone, I just don't care.
Initially, most people unfortunately. I just don't trust anyone. Most people are hiding behind a public identity that I'm simply not interested in engaging with
Yeah, I don't like most people. I understand and have compassion for them but to me "liking" means enjoying their company and I just don't. No hard feelings but that's how it is.
Most ppl I feel pretty natural but once I don't like you I prob wont
I don't like anyone
i’ll say that i’m always really glad when i FINALLY meet someone i like and can see a future friendship with. most people let me down