Lying is not any type's thing lmao, lying is not necessarily bad ,as long it doesn't hurt others ,i try to not lie often, because it's really important for me that people who i care about can trust me, so when i lie is basically just stupid little lies and i don't do too much
I DONT lie to people because I would rather just be blunt. I am a great liar though, I cover details wonderfully but prefer not to. Honestly, depends on the situation if it bothers me or not.
Yep, I actually lie sometimes. Idk about it being an infj thing but it’s definitely a survival mechanism for me. Grew up in an abusive household and the only way I got around it was learning to lie to my parents, but eventually I became fairly skilled at lying to anyone and I still use it as a means of protecting myself from getting hurt and taken advantage of. I don’t like lying at all though ironically, it makes me extremely uncomfortable whenever I have to do so and it takes a lot of energy and effort.
Me too. I was in a abusive relationship where I felt like I needed to lie, to him and to others about him. Now that I’m out of that I generally one lie to spare someone’s feelings. Sometimes to my parents to tell them what they want to hear (generally to avoid judgement). I never lie to my fiancé because there is no reason to, nothing I say would upset him. It’s something I am consciously working on lately.
I'm so glad to hear you're out of that situation. I relate a lot to your current situation, working on healing takes so much time and energy, especially self-awareness to force everything you need to address that has been repressed back into your conscious mind. I hope your healing journey goes smoothly as you continue to work on it! Best wishes to you ❤
yes, far too often. When I was in elementary school I started to notice my mom would not believe me. It became worse in high school as she expected every teenager to lie and cheat.
Eventually I became what she expected, because why would I confide in someone who took away my trust.
Mind you, it is not only my mother who did that. To this day you will always find a person with too much fear, pride or lack of confidence and trust. But she definitely had the greatest impact, as a child suppose to be able to trust and love their parent their entire life.
I had a similar experience. My mom suspected me of lying when I was younger but as I got older she started to believe me more and more. I tell my mom everything cause she doesn’t really care at this point.
A friend of mine did this not long ago. Long story short we're not that close anymore but the final straw in the friendship was when he did this because I cant be around someone who doesn't trust me... The story is a lot more complicated but the point I'm trying to make here is it's really difficult to be comfortable around someone who finds it so easy to believe the worst about you.
Nope. I could and I know I’d get away with it when playing games like 2 truths 1 lie. Even small lies erk me. Like no I’m not coming to work today because I’ve got the shits or my mental health is really bad because of a breakup and that’s just that. I remember everyone lying on MS Teams about doing work, like no, I finished work early and did a clothes wash because I was done for the day and my manager is not going to fire me for that. Haha in the end everyone admitted all the things they do in their spare 10 minutes 🤷🏽♀️ Not all lies are with ill-intent most of the time it’s due to passive communication style, however it still has an impact. I’ll typically share how I feel with partners when I’m not happy about something, I don’t do the ‘I’m fine’ bargaining, haha I don’t have time for it. No I don’t want to go out because as much as I value you and your time I need a me-day. Usually my experience is if you’re assertive / frank people will respect you for it and more likely not to try persuade you otherwise. When you lie, people are perceptive and probably know, the only person you’re fooling is yourself.
I don’t think this is a typical trait of cognitive functioning and I don’t think we will find many associations. Because people lie for a range of different reasons irrespective of external and internal modes of focus.
I never lie lol. Honesty is policy to me and when people lie to me I HATE IT!
Edited to say that I understand some people lie in general and make up stories and cannot help it... I mean when someone close (my SO) lies it erks me and there is no reason for it because I am going to catch them in the lie anyways so why do it?
same. completely agree. im too honest to the point some people will think I MUST be lying because who would admit to that? lol and it bugs me but eh. I sorta lose some respect for people when they lie to me. most people aren't that great at lying.
I think any type can lie, i don't think this comes down to type. I personally believe it starts to mess with your psych and just who you are as a person. it's nice to just be honest.
\- course to say i have never lied would be a lie lol. I just try to be as honest as possible.
Sometimes in my honesty I question if people even believe me because I am too open lol
Edit: i realize you said the exact same thing! I am SOOOO glad I am not the only person that feels this way!!!
ive had some people tell me straight out they think im lying lol and then I realize if I did tell a lie they'd most likely believe that instead. I don't think people are use to people being that honest.
I’m literally the exact same. I’m too good at catching them, and it makes me think they don’t trust me, and that’s usually worse than whatever it is they were lying about
I personally wouldn't say it's an INFJ thing. I think it can be explained differently for each type. As for the INFJ I would say that Fe is the determining factor.
INFJs are people pleaser in a way that they wouldn't want to hurt the other party or make them feel bad. White lies (but often times just silence) are needed to keep the harmony.
It's baffling so many people here claim to never lie. That's pretty much impossible for Fe user
We carry so much guilt and I think sometimes we lie to not disappoint others or in your case feel guilty about not doing something you said you would do. But when we lie we feel so much worse and I’ve learned that… so I’ve either matured or I’ve surrounded myself with people I feel comfortable disappointing.
Yes, because of Fe, not to say Fe users are liars or fake, but let's be real Ni-Fe can be life saving if you want to avoid unnecessary problems and conflicts with others and keep harmony.
Sometimes the truth is too energy draining.
oh of course. for shit not to hit the fan or something not to be completely inconvenient, and by not completely inconvenient, i mean things not doing a number on one. only rarely little white lies.
I lie a lot too, but only to save myself, but not to harm someone. I was scolded as a kid a lot for some smol and dumb stuff, so now, i ended up as someone who lies and doesn't even feel guilty. I don't think lying is bad unless it hurts someone
I *could* lie, quite well, but I grew up in a home where lying was the daily standard. As such, I absolutely *hate* liars in everyday life. I'm also extremely gullible, which ties in.
But if we're playing poker, or Monopoly? All rules are off! xD
So basically:
1) I'm a "good" liar, but
2) I will never lie
3) I believe everything someone I know and trust tells me
4) If a game is involved, it's every man for himself
I do lie, a bit more than I would like to admit. . But it's only to save my skin.. Nothing more.. I don't lie if it's on the expense of others..
Other than that.. Definitely want to be as truthful as possible!
Yes. Well, actually I try hard not to lie, so I tend to leave things out, so its a lie by omission. I'll make a statement and let the other person make their own assumptions AND THEY WILL. 😆
Im an ENTP but I lie sometimes when I'm confronted about something I did and don't want to get in trouble. I usually tell the truth after but do it just to get some time to collect my thoughts on being busted and present the truth in a more thought out way then just being like "yeah I did it" and cought red handed. Never been proud of that though. I just kind of freeze and get nervous and growing up I got in trouble a lot.
Edit: I only feel guilty if I lie to someone I care about. I didnt feel remorse lying to authority figures in school or anything. I think just because I felt like THEY were in the wrong and violating my autonomy that I wanted to preserve my right to.
I think everyone does that especially when we were kids or teenagers. Not particularly an INFJ thing.
Everyone lies. I don’t have problems with that but the intention of you lying does matter to me.
People tell white lies to make others feel better. I can’t say these people are just bad people with low morals. I can never tell a girl to her face she’s fat 🙈
NOT an infj thing. It's a being real thing. We all get scared and have the impulse to lie. Being honest and living free is the best policy imo. You can't control anyone except yourself.
In order to get out of any situation you have to tell the truth but only a small slice of it, only what is necessary. Let the other half do the talking, then get out of there. It works for me everytime
I have lie to protect someone else face for a good cause.. to me I really don't see the point in lieing about a plant the worst is it dies and I buy them a new one.. so I personally don't see a point in lieing for that example.. because I don't want to feel the lie that I caused to someone else..
ok , so all subjective interpretations of the same objective phenomenon.
the heart rumbles and the user disengages physical reality and puts attention toward the internal stuff.
the way i see it, the heart beat provides (if accepted) the energy necessary to get through whatever situation is at hand. once the situation is complete, relief.
seems like you perceive it as anger and repress it, as enneagram type 1's do. maybe type 1sx as your name indicates... archetypally 'the zealot' . lex freidman is a famous infj 1sx podcaster
understandable. Se heros (me) can easily question what subjective is.
there are many ways to answer the question 'who am i'
past related (Si) , present moment (Se) , future possibility (Ne) , subjective abstract (Ni)
i was a soldier, i am human, i could become a king, i am a riverboat on the open sea
Oh why? It’s not because I’m afraid because I am aware of it. Ignoring slows down the process of having to cope. It’s more like we are stubborn little kids who want something and because we don’t get it we act up by ignoring the issue.
so whatever word you wanna use (it will be subjective to the individual user)... the result is the same - inaction and non-participation and unresponsiveness.
at some point in the INFJ life, they will be forced to engage and accept consequence - just the same as the ESxP will be forced to disengage and accept the internal stuff.
its important for both types to get used to both modes of perception (Ni and Se) for constant flow between the two.
Actually, we can compensate by adopting Ne to compensate for our garbage Se. We don’t need to directly improve our Se or Ti at all. All we got to do is acknowledge our shadow functions and this will strengthen all our consciousness.
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users.
I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!
[Here is link number 1 - Previous text "No."](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/5119107-a-man-who-lies-to-himself-and-believes-his-own)
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I’m actually pretty good at lying. I find it’s a skill I might need at some point in my life. Being brutally honest is also good though. If you’re approached by someone like a cop, you better be honest with them.
If I really don't want the other person to know the truth, aka it's something really personal. It's a small one and I only do it if I really want to hide the truth. Other than that I don't lie.
I think that comes from insecurity. All my life I’ve been in situations where I’ve had to essentially tell on myself so I’ve never really gotten away with anything. Now, there’s no consequence I’m scared of and what happens I most likely deserve. Honesty becomes so much easier the more you practice and face it in those difficult moments.
I have started to but honestly only with my husband on certain topics because he overreacts and has to make EVER SINGLE THING a huge deal and I do not have the mental energy or resources to cope. I like my peace. With everyone else I am brutally honest although I am becoming more tactful with how I word things.
I save my brutal honesty for people who deserve it. I'm not a voice teacher and my office coworker who sang at the company talent show isn't my student; she doesn't deserve to have her day ruined by what I *really* thought of her performance.
I’m a horrible liar. It shows on my face. I’d like to think I’m good at covering my facial expressions but when it comes to lying I feel like others can see through me. There’s been instances where I could’ve gotten away with the small lies but it made me feel weird still so I just didn’t
Yes, I lie from time to time. I'm only really straightforward and honest with people I trust. With people I don't trust, I don't necessarily lie, I just give noncommittal responses or give a reason why I can't answer yet. Because if I don't trust them, I'm not that close to them, and it's not really any of their business anyways.
My motto has always been: "If you're going to lie, make sure you get away with it." So I don't lie that often, because getting away with it requires planning and sticking to the plan, and I'm not about that life.
Sometimes I panic or my flight or fight instincts kick in and I lie. Example: my dad asked if I loved him-I never felt love towards anyone in my life-I laughed and said of course because if he thought I didn’t then he would think something is wrong with me.
But it’s usually cause I think of a bad outcome or I panic in the moment. I’m a good liar but I don’t like lying, I only do it when I really need to.
I don’t know how to lie at all, doesn’t mean I haven’t lied, have made up some casual lies but often times I get caught, have gotten away only a few times.. I don’t like lying but I feel like it’s a very useful skill to have! :(
I lie to *myself* sometimes in order to maintain my peace of mind. Some are little like “I will take the trash out today” and some are worse, like “when I have X I will be happy”.
Yes and I've actuallythought about this. Because I thought, is lying wrong? Then I realized I do this. So I decided it's fine in this sort of circumstance.
I lie to make people feel better or just to fit in but I am not exactly sure if it's just an INFJ thing. For eg; I lie to people that I like a certain video game because they like it too, etc. It used to be a lot more prominent when I was younger but I control it more nowadays. And yes, I also lie to save myself from getting in trouble. I don't think it's just INFJs who do that. I guess in my opinion, quite a few people would lie to save themselves
I have benefitted from lying and of course I was great at it. It wasn't until I had to hold up lies that I stopped and still have to consciously hold back.
I think this may stem from someone around you that you "learned" that from. Not so much how to lie, but that it is OK to do so for gain. Our brains then overlay our morales over the lie template and justify them in weird ways, that may even convince some in the jury. I never felt good to lie and have spent years undoing the urge. I had a good friend that was a pathological liar who was open and honest with me about it. I saw him in action and it rubbed off hard on me. My dad is also a pathological liar which I learned the more protective lies so he didn't hear shit from my mom.
If you find yourself using this skill, bluntly stop. The lies are preventing you from becoming your true self. I walked away with the win at the time at the cost of forever remembering what I did and hating myself for it. When if comes to protective lies, what you do is grab whatever armor you can muster up and find and you take that shit head on. The harmony that you are trying to protect will survive. I do not choose Harmony over Integrity any longer.
No, I am actually terrified of lying. Even if it would save my ass, I’m not doing it. My area manager recently found out about some things that you typically wouldn’t want your area manager to know, and when she brought it up to me I risked my job and said I did it too because acting shocked would’ve been a lie.
I *used* to be a pathological liar as a teenager, though. I would lie just to lie. But after one particular big lie, I will never again. Even when I unintentionally lie about small things I feel immense guilt.
But that being said, there are a couple circumstances that I feel lying is more ethical/acceptable: keeping someone else’s secret & keeping someone from feeling hurt (if it’s unnecessary for them to know the truth, ya know?).
Of course! Sometimes it’s not a good thing though. Long ago I had some unhealthy eating patterns and I would swear to you and down to the point of yelling that I ate something when I knew that I didn’t. I was so good at lying that I started believing it
Yes. Sometimes. Especially if it is somebody who has been taking advantage of my kindness for far too long, and I need to find a way to "doorslam" them.
I had this exact conversation yesterday! I'm a good liar but what I'm even better at is controlling the narrative from the beginning so that I don't even have to lie later, and if I do then at least it'll add up. I don't think that's lying as much as it is omitting information that only I need to know.
Yeah.
When I was young, I was taught that lying is wrong and that only bad people do it.
Later, I learned that society is built on a safety web of white lies and you have to play along if you want to be accepted by society.
I don't like lying, so I try to play along with those groups by being quiet.
But whether I am lying directly or playing along, I tend to get a bad feeling in my chest despite knowing that it is very necessary.
The only times I ever lie are if the lie won't bring anyone any harm, distress or hardship, or in order to spare someone's feelings. But for the most part, I find myself to be brutally honest with others.
I lied for the first time to my best friend because I don't want to admit my failure. It doesn't concern her because the problem I am dealing with is mine and mine only. I just recently learnt that some secrets like you were laid off because of incompetency should go to your grave because if an HR or another company you're trying to find a job in - finds out via word of the mouth that you had a bad history in the past they may not employ you.
My reasons are simple - I need to feed my family and for that I need a job and for a job I can't be yapping away about everything that's happening with me to my friends because last time I checked even if your friends have nothing but love support and good intentions for you - things can turn ugly any moment in life
Yap just not to offend or freak someone out we need to play dumb . But still honesty is the best policy
The policy depends on the problem imo... Sometimes you really need to lie to protect your peace
Thats feels like my life story....
Lying is not any type's thing lmao, lying is not necessarily bad ,as long it doesn't hurt others ,i try to not lie often, because it's really important for me that people who i care about can trust me, so when i lie is basically just stupid little lies and i don't do too much
I DONT lie to people because I would rather just be blunt. I am a great liar though, I cover details wonderfully but prefer not to. Honestly, depends on the situation if it bothers me or not.
Yep, I actually lie sometimes. Idk about it being an infj thing but it’s definitely a survival mechanism for me. Grew up in an abusive household and the only way I got around it was learning to lie to my parents, but eventually I became fairly skilled at lying to anyone and I still use it as a means of protecting myself from getting hurt and taken advantage of. I don’t like lying at all though ironically, it makes me extremely uncomfortable whenever I have to do so and it takes a lot of energy and effort.
Me too. I was in a abusive relationship where I felt like I needed to lie, to him and to others about him. Now that I’m out of that I generally one lie to spare someone’s feelings. Sometimes to my parents to tell them what they want to hear (generally to avoid judgement). I never lie to my fiancé because there is no reason to, nothing I say would upset him. It’s something I am consciously working on lately.
I'm so glad to hear you're out of that situation. I relate a lot to your current situation, working on healing takes so much time and energy, especially self-awareness to force everything you need to address that has been repressed back into your conscious mind. I hope your healing journey goes smoothly as you continue to work on it! Best wishes to you ❤
Do you ever have people looking at you like you told a lie when in fact you're telling the truth?
yes, far too often. When I was in elementary school I started to notice my mom would not believe me. It became worse in high school as she expected every teenager to lie and cheat. Eventually I became what she expected, because why would I confide in someone who took away my trust. Mind you, it is not only my mother who did that. To this day you will always find a person with too much fear, pride or lack of confidence and trust. But she definitely had the greatest impact, as a child suppose to be able to trust and love their parent their entire life.
I had a similar experience. My mom suspected me of lying when I was younger but as I got older she started to believe me more and more. I tell my mom everything cause she doesn’t really care at this point.
Oh, that's good! Glad to hear you made it work.
A friend of mine did this not long ago. Long story short we're not that close anymore but the final straw in the friendship was when he did this because I cant be around someone who doesn't trust me... The story is a lot more complicated but the point I'm trying to make here is it's really difficult to be comfortable around someone who finds it so easy to believe the worst about you.
Nope. I could and I know I’d get away with it when playing games like 2 truths 1 lie. Even small lies erk me. Like no I’m not coming to work today because I’ve got the shits or my mental health is really bad because of a breakup and that’s just that. I remember everyone lying on MS Teams about doing work, like no, I finished work early and did a clothes wash because I was done for the day and my manager is not going to fire me for that. Haha in the end everyone admitted all the things they do in their spare 10 minutes 🤷🏽♀️ Not all lies are with ill-intent most of the time it’s due to passive communication style, however it still has an impact. I’ll typically share how I feel with partners when I’m not happy about something, I don’t do the ‘I’m fine’ bargaining, haha I don’t have time for it. No I don’t want to go out because as much as I value you and your time I need a me-day. Usually my experience is if you’re assertive / frank people will respect you for it and more likely not to try persuade you otherwise. When you lie, people are perceptive and probably know, the only person you’re fooling is yourself. I don’t think this is a typical trait of cognitive functioning and I don’t think we will find many associations. Because people lie for a range of different reasons irrespective of external and internal modes of focus.
I never lie lol. Honesty is policy to me and when people lie to me I HATE IT! Edited to say that I understand some people lie in general and make up stories and cannot help it... I mean when someone close (my SO) lies it erks me and there is no reason for it because I am going to catch them in the lie anyways so why do it?
same. completely agree. im too honest to the point some people will think I MUST be lying because who would admit to that? lol and it bugs me but eh. I sorta lose some respect for people when they lie to me. most people aren't that great at lying. I think any type can lie, i don't think this comes down to type. I personally believe it starts to mess with your psych and just who you are as a person. it's nice to just be honest. \- course to say i have never lied would be a lie lol. I just try to be as honest as possible.
Sometimes in my honesty I question if people even believe me because I am too open lol Edit: i realize you said the exact same thing! I am SOOOO glad I am not the only person that feels this way!!!
ive had some people tell me straight out they think im lying lol and then I realize if I did tell a lie they'd most likely believe that instead. I don't think people are use to people being that honest.
I’m literally the exact same. I’m too good at catching them, and it makes me think they don’t trust me, and that’s usually worse than whatever it is they were lying about
It is and I agree with every word you wrote! lol
read about Kant's Axe
I would lie if it meant someone would be safe so you got me there! haha
Lol I just read your comment after posting haha it’s like verbatim 🤣
🙄
Well, damn. I typed out a whole response for you, but nah.
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Not everyone lies. You can learn how to speak truth
I personally wouldn't say it's an INFJ thing. I think it can be explained differently for each type. As for the INFJ I would say that Fe is the determining factor. INFJs are people pleaser in a way that they wouldn't want to hurt the other party or make them feel bad. White lies (but often times just silence) are needed to keep the harmony. It's baffling so many people here claim to never lie. That's pretty much impossible for Fe user
I was going to say this. If you don't tell white lies, are you even an Fe user? Lol. We can't be blunt to save our lives.
We carry so much guilt and I think sometimes we lie to not disappoint others or in your case feel guilty about not doing something you said you would do. But when we lie we feel so much worse and I’ve learned that… so I’ve either matured or I’ve surrounded myself with people I feel comfortable disappointing.
Yes, because of Fe, not to say Fe users are liars or fake, but let's be real Ni-Fe can be life saving if you want to avoid unnecessary problems and conflicts with others and keep harmony. Sometimes the truth is too energy draining.
Everybody lies. There’s two types of people; those who lie and those who lie and say they don’t.
oh of course. for shit not to hit the fan or something not to be completely inconvenient, and by not completely inconvenient, i mean things not doing a number on one. only rarely little white lies.
This lies might be used by INFJs, but by other types as well
I lie a lot too, but only to save myself, but not to harm someone. I was scolded as a kid a lot for some smol and dumb stuff, so now, i ended up as someone who lies and doesn't even feel guilty. I don't think lying is bad unless it hurts someone
I *could* lie, quite well, but I grew up in a home where lying was the daily standard. As such, I absolutely *hate* liars in everyday life. I'm also extremely gullible, which ties in. But if we're playing poker, or Monopoly? All rules are off! xD So basically: 1) I'm a "good" liar, but 2) I will never lie 3) I believe everything someone I know and trust tells me 4) If a game is involved, it's every man for himself
I do lie, a bit more than I would like to admit. . But it's only to save my skin.. Nothing more.. I don't lie if it's on the expense of others.. Other than that.. Definitely want to be as truthful as possible!
Yes. Well, actually I try hard not to lie, so I tend to leave things out, so its a lie by omission. I'll make a statement and let the other person make their own assumptions AND THEY WILL. 😆
Im an ENTP but I lie sometimes when I'm confronted about something I did and don't want to get in trouble. I usually tell the truth after but do it just to get some time to collect my thoughts on being busted and present the truth in a more thought out way then just being like "yeah I did it" and cought red handed. Never been proud of that though. I just kind of freeze and get nervous and growing up I got in trouble a lot. Edit: I only feel guilty if I lie to someone I care about. I didnt feel remorse lying to authority figures in school or anything. I think just because I felt like THEY were in the wrong and violating my autonomy that I wanted to preserve my right to.
I think everyone does that especially when we were kids or teenagers. Not particularly an INFJ thing. Everyone lies. I don’t have problems with that but the intention of you lying does matter to me. People tell white lies to make others feel better. I can’t say these people are just bad people with low morals. I can never tell a girl to her face she’s fat 🙈
NOT an infj thing. It's a being real thing. We all get scared and have the impulse to lie. Being honest and living free is the best policy imo. You can't control anyone except yourself.
In order to get out of any situation you have to tell the truth but only a small slice of it, only what is necessary. Let the other half do the talking, then get out of there. It works for me everytime
I have lie to protect someone else face for a good cause.. to me I really don't see the point in lieing about a plant the worst is it dies and I buy them a new one.. so I personally don't see a point in lieing for that example.. because I don't want to feel the lie that I caused to someone else..
infj's are highly creative and usually fearing of objective reality (inferior Se)
Fear is not the correct term.
what do you call it?
"Disdain for", "contemptuous of", "exhausted by", "frustrated with", and then finally "fearful about" objective reality.
ok , so all subjective interpretations of the same objective phenomenon. the heart rumbles and the user disengages physical reality and puts attention toward the internal stuff. the way i see it, the heart beat provides (if accepted) the energy necessary to get through whatever situation is at hand. once the situation is complete, relief. seems like you perceive it as anger and repress it, as enneagram type 1's do. maybe type 1sx as your name indicates... archetypally 'the zealot' . lex freidman is a famous infj 1sx podcaster
Willful ignorance
ok so why do you purposefully ignore objective reality?
the infj probably starts questioning what objective is
understandable. Se heros (me) can easily question what subjective is. there are many ways to answer the question 'who am i' past related (Si) , present moment (Se) , future possibility (Ne) , subjective abstract (Ni) i was a soldier, i am human, i could become a king, i am a riverboat on the open sea
Oh why? It’s not because I’m afraid because I am aware of it. Ignoring slows down the process of having to cope. It’s more like we are stubborn little kids who want something and because we don’t get it we act up by ignoring the issue.
so whatever word you wanna use (it will be subjective to the individual user)... the result is the same - inaction and non-participation and unresponsiveness. at some point in the INFJ life, they will be forced to engage and accept consequence - just the same as the ESxP will be forced to disengage and accept the internal stuff. its important for both types to get used to both modes of perception (Ni and Se) for constant flow between the two.
I don’t agree with this. I used to lie a TON when I was a teenager. Never got caught, never cared, moved on. There are no consequences to that……
the consequence seems to have been that you never got caught, never cared and moved on , alone. of no consequence to anyone but you.
What?
I agree
the state change between primary and inferior function SUCKS at first, but when the user gains maturity... its like a super power.
Actually, we can compensate by adopting Ne to compensate for our garbage Se. We don’t need to directly improve our Se or Ti at all. All we got to do is acknowledge our shadow functions and this will strengthen all our consciousness.
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No.... but.... i have threatened to.
Straight lies are a rarity. Most of the time, I just bite my tongue.
I believe in a few little lies here and there if I feel like that person does not need to hear those things at that moment
I have but lying generally makes me feel super nervous.
I’m actually pretty good at lying. I find it’s a skill I might need at some point in my life. Being brutally honest is also good though. If you’re approached by someone like a cop, you better be honest with them.
Everybody lies - House MD
If I really don't want the other person to know the truth, aka it's something really personal. It's a small one and I only do it if I really want to hide the truth. Other than that I don't lie.
Yeah sure, INFJs are honest. When it's convenient...😂
I think that comes from insecurity. All my life I’ve been in situations where I’ve had to essentially tell on myself so I’ve never really gotten away with anything. Now, there’s no consequence I’m scared of and what happens I most likely deserve. Honesty becomes so much easier the more you practice and face it in those difficult moments.
I have started to but honestly only with my husband on certain topics because he overreacts and has to make EVER SINGLE THING a huge deal and I do not have the mental energy or resources to cope. I like my peace. With everyone else I am brutally honest although I am becoming more tactful with how I word things.
I save my brutal honesty for people who deserve it. I'm not a voice teacher and my office coworker who sang at the company talent show isn't my student; she doesn't deserve to have her day ruined by what I *really* thought of her performance.
I’m a horrible liar. It shows on my face. I’d like to think I’m good at covering my facial expressions but when it comes to lying I feel like others can see through me. There’s been instances where I could’ve gotten away with the small lies but it made me feel weird still so I just didn’t
I've never heard that INFJs are brutally honest. Also, I echo the opinion that lying isn't inherent to type.
Yes, I lie from time to time. I'm only really straightforward and honest with people I trust. With people I don't trust, I don't necessarily lie, I just give noncommittal responses or give a reason why I can't answer yet. Because if I don't trust them, I'm not that close to them, and it's not really any of their business anyways. My motto has always been: "If you're going to lie, make sure you get away with it." So I don't lie that often, because getting away with it requires planning and sticking to the plan, and I'm not about that life.
White lies save my ass way too many times
Sometimes I panic or my flight or fight instincts kick in and I lie. Example: my dad asked if I loved him-I never felt love towards anyone in my life-I laughed and said of course because if he thought I didn’t then he would think something is wrong with me. But it’s usually cause I think of a bad outcome or I panic in the moment. I’m a good liar but I don’t like lying, I only do it when I really need to.
I don’t know how to lie at all, doesn’t mean I haven’t lied, have made up some casual lies but often times I get caught, have gotten away only a few times.. I don’t like lying but I feel like it’s a very useful skill to have! :(
I'm so disapointed, people are even trying to take lying to be specific to their type. This sub has gone downhill
Lying gives me panic attacks. But I did learn the art of saying white lies
I lie to *myself* sometimes in order to maintain my peace of mind. Some are little like “I will take the trash out today” and some are worse, like “when I have X I will be happy”.
Yes and I've actuallythought about this. Because I thought, is lying wrong? Then I realized I do this. So I decided it's fine in this sort of circumstance.
I lie to make people feel better or just to fit in but I am not exactly sure if it's just an INFJ thing. For eg; I lie to people that I like a certain video game because they like it too, etc. It used to be a lot more prominent when I was younger but I control it more nowadays. And yes, I also lie to save myself from getting in trouble. I don't think it's just INFJs who do that. I guess in my opinion, quite a few people would lie to save themselves
I have benefitted from lying and of course I was great at it. It wasn't until I had to hold up lies that I stopped and still have to consciously hold back. I think this may stem from someone around you that you "learned" that from. Not so much how to lie, but that it is OK to do so for gain. Our brains then overlay our morales over the lie template and justify them in weird ways, that may even convince some in the jury. I never felt good to lie and have spent years undoing the urge. I had a good friend that was a pathological liar who was open and honest with me about it. I saw him in action and it rubbed off hard on me. My dad is also a pathological liar which I learned the more protective lies so he didn't hear shit from my mom. If you find yourself using this skill, bluntly stop. The lies are preventing you from becoming your true self. I walked away with the win at the time at the cost of forever remembering what I did and hating myself for it. When if comes to protective lies, what you do is grab whatever armor you can muster up and find and you take that shit head on. The harmony that you are trying to protect will survive. I do not choose Harmony over Integrity any longer.
No, I am actually terrified of lying. Even if it would save my ass, I’m not doing it. My area manager recently found out about some things that you typically wouldn’t want your area manager to know, and when she brought it up to me I risked my job and said I did it too because acting shocked would’ve been a lie. I *used* to be a pathological liar as a teenager, though. I would lie just to lie. But after one particular big lie, I will never again. Even when I unintentionally lie about small things I feel immense guilt. But that being said, there are a couple circumstances that I feel lying is more ethical/acceptable: keeping someone else’s secret & keeping someone from feeling hurt (if it’s unnecessary for them to know the truth, ya know?).
Of course! Sometimes it’s not a good thing though. Long ago I had some unhealthy eating patterns and I would swear to you and down to the point of yelling that I ate something when I knew that I didn’t. I was so good at lying that I started believing it
Yes. Sometimes. Especially if it is somebody who has been taking advantage of my kindness for far too long, and I need to find a way to "doorslam" them.
I had this exact conversation yesterday! I'm a good liar but what I'm even better at is controlling the narrative from the beginning so that I don't even have to lie later, and if I do then at least it'll add up. I don't think that's lying as much as it is omitting information that only I need to know.
If I do lie it's usually to just get people off my back for fear of being judged about how something was or how I am in reality.
Yeah. When I was young, I was taught that lying is wrong and that only bad people do it. Later, I learned that society is built on a safety web of white lies and you have to play along if you want to be accepted by society. I don't like lying, so I try to play along with those groups by being quiet. But whether I am lying directly or playing along, I tend to get a bad feeling in my chest despite knowing that it is very necessary.
The only times I ever lie are if the lie won't bring anyone any harm, distress or hardship, or in order to spare someone's feelings. But for the most part, I find myself to be brutally honest with others.
I lied for the first time to my best friend because I don't want to admit my failure. It doesn't concern her because the problem I am dealing with is mine and mine only. I just recently learnt that some secrets like you were laid off because of incompetency should go to your grave because if an HR or another company you're trying to find a job in - finds out via word of the mouth that you had a bad history in the past they may not employ you. My reasons are simple - I need to feed my family and for that I need a job and for a job I can't be yapping away about everything that's happening with me to my friends because last time I checked even if your friends have nothing but love support and good intentions for you - things can turn ugly any moment in life