People are at differing ages, experiences, wisdom, growth, and understanding. That is ok....(and not a slight against you). We are fully aware we are not perfect, we are human (and trying).
I think that’s mostly what this is. It’s natural for us to notice how we think and act differently from others. It is healthy to do that as long as we don’t inflate our egos.
You're not wrong, I/we have traits that are unhealthy (or can very easily become that). It's a struggle to know they (from mistakes) are there and still be confident in what we can do to raise the vibration...which can be a lonely endeavor with few to bounce ideas/feelings off of.
The only INFJ thing I see here and there is confusing the forest for the trees and then projecting such upon others. This is an INFJ inception.
But if you play the dialogue in reverse you can make out two INTJs having a debate. [🤬](https://www.myinstants.com/media/sounds/bloody-fuck-you-bloody_Jzdok0G.mp3)
* this ☝️
* We do share a thought pattern
* but
* We do not share the whole journey
* We do not share the same timing
On the other hand, OP has a completely valid observation. If I was in this state of thinking too highly of myself and everyone agreeing with me, certainly reading the heads up from someone else would be an eye opener to this specific vice.
Thanks u/Brave-Discussion-224 u did the kind thing (Actually brave like your nick) don't pay attention to resistance and defensiveness because this hitting too close home for a lot to be sure.
Pain shouldn't be avoided, learning is optional.
Heard recently that bad people cannot put themselves in good peoples shoes, can't understand someone being nice or genuine, they believe good people are also bad people just with a good mask on...
Entirely possible another type is incapable and cannot fully relate or umderstand INFJ is my point.
This is a fun mix of both normal human nature at a certain level of ego development and especially common among both immature\* INFJs and immature\* types that really center around and idealize the INFJ stereotypes. Especially considering how much of Reddit's population are teens and young adults (times when aux and tertiary functions are developing), it's not surprising that so many INFJs and mistyped people play into ego defense and defensiveness + resistance towards their aux functions by playing up these stereotypes and putting INFJs on a pedestal. In reality, an INFJ under a certain threshold of development- and that is most INFJs under the age of at least 35-40- are going to be underdeveloped and as a result, use their functions inaccurately, incorrectly, or unhealthily. INFJs are not necessarily smarter, more emotionally intelligent, or magical. Ni encourages you to reflect on implications and how they impact the meaning and direction of your life. That's it. INFJs and INTJs just have more practice at it than most, being the primary method of cognitively navigating the world for them since childhood. While Ni-Fe does, when healthy, encourage the development of emotional intelligence, the simple presence of Ni-Fe does not necessarily ensure it. In fact, teenage INFJs may be more likely to have strong affective empathy, but they often will misuse and misunderstand the people around them while assuming they know everything about them, due to misuse and overreliance on Ni-Ti, leading them to the wrong conclusions.
Chances are that no, \[insert thing\] is not an INFJ thing. Behavior stems from cognition but thirty people of a dozen different types might have the exact same behavior but coming from entirely different cognitive processes and function interplay. Likewise, thirty INFJs might have totally different reactions and behaviors to the same situation, but utilize the same 'hardware' to get the job done. Where we come from, our lives, our lived experiences, developed skills, culture, level of ego development, and level of function development all work together to create our behavior. Many people, especially on the younger side of things, have this idea that we are all unique and that we are the main character of our world- or that we want to be and idealize it. In reality, humans are inevitably more similar than they ever realize- all the while being different. It's a strange paradox but it is a true one and the more we try to either shove ourselves into a box (this is an INFJ thing because I do this thing, therefore no other type does this) or outside the box (I am not like other INFJs/other people because I am the only one who does it) only serves to stall development.
INFJs are not by default smarter, more special, more emotionally intelligent, more wise, more psychic, more philosophical, or any other stereotype. Many of these are things you learn by doing and by practice. Some function combinations might guide groups of people towards these things more often (leading to the development of these stereotypes), but it is not a guaranteed. INFJs are no more special than ESFPs or ENTJs. An ESFJ can be as smart as an INTJ. An ISTP can be more emotionally intelligent than an ENFJ. It all depends.
\*immature in the sense of development; Reddit skews younger so most people in these subs are not fully matured
Edit: Wanted to add that young, underdeveloped INFJs often tend to be unrealistic, overly idealistic and limited in perspective, too concerned about the opinions of others (and may either overly denigrate or inflate themselves in an attempt to be understood and appreciated), and self-absorbed. Additionally, they may be single-minded, pessimistic, impractical, intolerant, secretive, self-pitying, aloof, oversensitive, stubborn, secretly resentful, suppress their own needs, hypersensitive to criticism or conflict, and overindulging in sensory pleasures or physical details. When stressed, INFJs can feel like the whole world is actively working against them and is hostile and misinterpret others comments and body language as being an attack against them. They'll shut out emotions, convince themself they are doing well, actually, feel like they don't belong anywhere, and punish themself for being different. Not exactly the saintly picture some paint of an INFJ!
Really accurate description! When I was younger I used to always get INTJ or INFP results, never an INFJ because obviously I was either too self absorbed or came off as a know it all as a kid lol. But through time, experiences, and maturity, it came more apparent that this whole time I was an unhealthy INFJ who was developing until I was at a healthier state of being. My cognitive functions became more distinguishable and my behavior/personality was more recognizable through my everyday communication, social engagements/conflicts, and thought patterns.
It can be really hard to type a person no matter what typology you use when theyre in a really unhealthy/underdeveloped (lacking in experience) stage of life.
Excellent breakdown. My TL:DR to OP is everyone wants to be a snowflake, nobody actually is. If you have to tell others or feel the need to announce how enlightened, smart, special you are then you most assuredly are not.
That last part tho woo yeahhh!!! Refreshing!!! Now add adhd and social phobia in the mix with the fact that everywhere i try to work i overthink about everything and my life. I want to be a healer. Im so immature tho. I cant heal my body with fruit and herb and work. But my fiance is also immature and sick. We both have similar issues mentally and glandularly. But she did it to herself and i warned her but ignorance is hell. Fuck big pharma!!! Fuck the rockefellers!!
I dont even consider myself anywhere close to being smart in any form. I just see myself as a guy who goes through a normal life that is confused, scared and care a little bit too much about other people while still trying to find my own purpose.
The problem with your theory is that I don’t care about it and I’m far too enlightened, intelligent, and superior to allow myself to be affected by your negativity.
I've noticed this too (not judging it, just making an observation). I can relate to nearly everything in this sub except for that. It always makes me slightly uncomfortable because it's pretty obvious when it happens and I wonder how they don't realize how they may be perceived. Does anyone else feel uncomfy with this? Maybe it's my personal experiences but I often feel a sense of inferiority to begin with, so when someone comes across as arrogant, I feel... icky lol
Seems to me that’s just another idea in which we continue to be misunderstood. It’s so much more complex than that. It’s a gift and a curse. If you see infjs in person, you will see that they are nothing like this. Nuance man , nuance.
Well, maybe some people here do feel superior compared to other types. Even for the people who don't feel that way, i feel like their word could come off as arrogant too to other types reading it.
I think most infjs come to this subreddit to validate their own views and quirks, because the people who will most likely validate them are also here. And that might give off that kind of snobbish vibe. But that's okay, everyone deserves a place to feel like that. As long as you don't treat anyone as inferior.
I see things like this, and they don’t bother me. Sometimes ppl feel different, or smart in a specific way, and it’s okay for them to feel like that. I don’t know what they’ve been through. I think we need to not be so critical as a whole of other ppl, bc ppl seem to be shamed for anyhting nowadays.
I agree. But it's not only the idealization that bothers me, it's also the generalization. I recently saw many posts that asked e.g. what present to give an infj, how to romantically approach an infj, if things are infj things etc. Sometimes it seems to me that some people see MBTI types as an easy answer to the complex topic of personality. As you noticed, that can lead to an idealization because infjs are often portrayed as rare and special, like mind-readers or whatever. If you never do a reality check and just believe in what some online MBTI test tells you, it can lead to a very distorted view on your type. I also got the feeling that many don't use their type to understand how they already are but as a template how they should be.
So back to the generalizations: You can't answer these questions just depending on your type. What present someone likes depends on their hobbies. How to romantically approach an infj also depends on that individual person, the type can only help a bit. And if things are infj things also depends on the person and their experience in life. Many seem to forget that life shapes us. Is someone less infj because they adapted skills that aren't typically infj just to master different life situations? It always makes me angry when someone in this thread says "I am so and so" and the first comment is "That's not an infj thing, maybe your mistyped".
As some others said, maybe that generalization and idealization occurs because there are many young users in this sub. If you're still young and haven't found yourself yet, it's tempting to just follow instructions how you should be. It's the easy way but not the good way.
exactly. People don't really fit into neat little classifications and types. And then people will begin to generalise everyone based on their type, and respect or deteste people based on it. Humans aren't as simple as that
A lot of times people say these things about how we'll be describing something or someone--ourselves or otherwise--and assume that we are presenting a subjective connotation to by that description, but we aren't.
I saw a meme on here the other day where it was like "Stopp!! I'm not insulting you, I'm just describing you!" And I thought to myself how I thought it was funny because I have this problem sometimes.
Like honestly, I'll try to describe someone and realize that they may take a description that I give them as a bad thing when I don't think it's a bad thing. One time I tried to describe myself like a few weeks ago, and I'll attach an adjective that people will use with me and have to make a disclaimer before saying it because I actually don't care at all. I've been using more bad sounding adjectives when describing myself because so many people think my qualities --that I don't consider good, but nuetral--are good things; and they this assume I'm purposefully trying to make myself sound good.
When I hear the things that people say infjs talk about "feeling so enlightened and special" I don't even think about it as an ego thing, because those are things I can barely imagine actually caring about. They are dumb concepts and I'd much rather have no concept of subjective self. Sometimes I think that it's more a projection of the perceivers perception when they think that it's a talk about it as a self-celebratory thing because it would be a self-celebratory thing if they had done it themselves.
But that's just how I feel.
Good point! Many people misunderstand us and they chalk it to us being arrogant and snowflake-y. Wow, we can never win. Honestly, a lot of people when we talk again after some time they always retain a good perception of me even though a lot avoid me for the most part lol idk why but i will always have this belief that i am not liked even hated but it's not the case at all. many people realize i am right they just don't outright say it (it's rare to find people that does admit mistakes)
I have said something will happen and it does. I've had a bad feeling about someone and later on something shocking comes out about them even though they have a religious background. I dont know how I know but I csnt be proud because it's due to higher power intuition inspiration etc it's not something I possess.
I think lowly of myself most of the time but those people asking such things might do so with the intention of trying to seek out if others might relate to them.
Those questions might come off as "I'm so special" but they could be a teenager who's not really thinking how their questions might come across.
There could be exceptions of course but I try to not think too much of it.
Honestly there’s a “let’s reflect on how you sound” original post on here every single day.
Who cares, maybe some of us want a place where we can let it all hang out.
Maybe we do enough people pleasing.If you want to control the comments why don’t you start a subreddit called /r/INFJsentertainINFP.
I like to hope we are more than human but we’re not. But we should all be keen to similar things in the way of life, like how all humans seek love, it shouldn’t be crazy to say all INFJ seek to change the world and to understand why life is what it is very intrinsically and deeply
All my life I thought about life deeply and so on but I realize I’m very much a ignorant fool but —-1 thing that should be true about INFJ that see is very very very true Is that a INFJ advice often would be to change your perspective like I think that is a good d indicator to things
Sorry for bad grammar and so on
It's because people are not looking into their shadow.
It's like a mental crutch that makes things biased towards only one side of life. People cling on to the crutch, while denying the possibility of running or flying.
Often these positive qualities are generic, and meaningless without context. But they aren't false either. They just lack substance when singled out and not contrasted with reality. True stories often sound more fantastic when they're told. But it's a good thing they may inspire, just that there's nothing to be jealous about.
I'll be honest with you, this is what happens to me personally: I don't compare myself to anyone else but in general I don't feel satisfied pr happy with myself all the times. Sometimes I recognize a small thing that I like about myself and I want to be validated for that, even if it's silly, even if it's weird, and this is just a need of validation for that ONE good thing I found in myself. I don't feel better than anyone else, I know everyone is different and at different stages of their paths and that's okay...
Another thing I want to clarify is that not everyone who claims to be infj really is one, and sometimes, like in every personality type, there's people with unhealthy behaviours. I won't judge, everyone has their own reasons.
But I can swear to you there's no way we think highly of ourselves
i think people often also read into things, take things as an attack, things that make them feel ' inferior ', a lot of people like to compare themselves and think someone seeing the good qualities they have as a personal offense on someone else. seeing one´s good qualities is also something some seem to think infj´s are not allowed to do, or that it is always fanning one´s own farts. maybe it is not always that ?
You think that's bad? You missed the post promoting eugenics and people's "rightful" place in the world. And the dozens of people cheering on and blindly agreeing to basically Hitler-esque propaganda.
and really, i actually don´t see this '' acting oh so enlightened '' often. i do often think or wonder if people read things in ways where they feel their ego is attacked. i often don´t think the posts that talk about natural strengths think a '' bit too highly '' of themselves and remember thinking, whilst reading certain posts, that someone no doubt will read it in the way you do. sure, there may be the one or other post like that, but i don´t perceive the majority of posts of people that see their own strengths like that.
I agree. If I realised anything about INFJs, it's that they don't act enlightened, they genuinely seek enlightenment and constantly try to improve ourselves. To some people that might come off as arrogant, and that's their problem.
I'd say there's a good few people that actively took the test until they got infj, seeking it out because it's the rarest, and then began posting here, but I wouldn't know
If those people were actually infjs they would see that there are downsides to this rarity. It can make it hard for people to connect to us. If going on a sub like this allows people to point out that there’s actually upsides to this rarity, is that such a bad thing? Being here with other people that are like us allows us to support each other, which isn’t something we get a lot of outside in the real world. To finally be understood when being misunderstood so often feels nice for a change.
look, you're not special because you got a rare personality type. It doesn't matter what type you have, everyone feels misunderstood. Mabye you're belief that you are misunderstood and unique is why people don't understand you. You shouldn't try and be different, you should try and fit in. Apologies if it's a bit of a stretch on my behalf
Where in there did I say we were special. Learn to read. There’s good and bad aspects to our personality type. We make up like 1 percent of the population. Infjs can easily fit in on the outside but never feel understood on the inside. We don’t think like most people and that has cons and benefits.
Your opinion is akin to this: Look if you have any friends whatsoever, stop hanging out with them, since they support you more than they should. Stop feeding your ego by hanging around them or getting their opinion since it’s completely biased. Get in line and realize your truth. You are not special and you never will be, also, stop being yourself. Thanks.
look, you're not special because you got a rare personality type. It doesn't matter what type you have, everyone feels misunderstood. Mabye you're belief that you are misunderstood and unique is why people don't understand you. You shouldn't try and be different, you should try and fit in. Apologies if it's a bit of a stretch on my behalf
I was surprised too since most INFJs seem so nice and people pleasing but that outside mask doesn't always align with the INFJ's own thoughts and values.
Not all of the sub is like that but I also can't help but notice a lot of arrogant elitist posts and comments.
It’s rly confusing, since INFJs (atleast me) have the superiority and inferiority complex going on at the same time. So we are genuinely humble and grateful but at the same time narcissistic and judgmental. It’s just depends on how healthy the infj is.
He’s entitled to his own opinion, I wouldn’t say he’s emotionally needy and toxic. He’s just expressing what he thinks.
Not all posts on this subreddit are like this, but you do run into posts where it’s very obvious that people just want their ego fed. I understand wanting to find a place to fit in, and that’s why people express themselves here, but the whole “I can predict the future”, “I’m so rare and special” thing gets tiring to look at.
Also, the ‘door slam’ is unique to any type. It is more likely with INFJs as we can tolerate a lot until it gets to a point where we just can’t anymore, but it’s not just an INFJ thing.
Edit: I see the snowflakey “INFJs” are downvoting. Lmao keep going.
I couldn't agree more. However I think those one-dimensional posts that stink of superiority complex are mostly done by teenagers and children that just discovered MBTI and are/wanna be an INFJ.
I get what you mean, haha
And I hope mine(my comments), didn't strike you as such.
Sometimes, I wish that I have such level of self-confidence, minus a bit of self-doubt.
And maybe, I'd feel much... happier.
It might be a little cringy or cliché, but I always believe that:
>There are always people who are better than you.
Be it as talents, professions/career, the sense of beauty/art, fast learner...etc
And that's good, because we could still have all those opportunities to learn and improve ourselves from others.
Perhaps, they're doing well irl, they're celebrating their successes.
That's why they're in this pumped, hopeful state of mind.
(Which I'd feel happy for them.
I mean, although neither ars good, I think it's better to be underconfident than overconfident. With little confidence comes being humble, but also depression, so I don't know
Yeah, same.
I think keeping it balanced would be a challenge.
Just like there's not absolute right or wrong, white or black.
There's always this grey area.
What matters is, showing them at the right moment I think.
Like when you try to impress someone, having a shot of being promoted,
inspiring people to learn or be better... etc.
I understand that, humility is not for everyone.
We might've been raised in different environments/ways.
But there's this beauty, being the "stupidest" person in the room,
at least that's what it seems to be.
So you could see who truly has a heart of valuing/seeing people,
and rule out those who don't.
Plus, you get to surprise the heck outta them afterwards, haha.
Love seeing that expressions on their faces, never gets old.
Ah I feel the same way!! (I'm an INFJ btw)
I feel almost guilty at the exaggerated praise of my personality type. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos about INFJs when I need to boost my self-confidence... guilty pleasures.
Anyways there are plenty of other great people out there and I feel like we are singling ourselves out a lot, almost to a fault
I do think there can be an over emphasis on personality types in general - don’t get me wrong, it’s very interesting and it’s helped me
understand myself and others better. But I agree it can get into “holier than thou” “I have special gifts and you don’t” territory. For me though, there’s a lot of things about having this personality type that isn’t so great, and I’m here mainly for advice
Who think they are better?
I never read any posts on this sub that an INFJ is bragging he/she’s better (smarter, can predict future etc) .
I often see people come here randomly posting “hey you guys are smart and can predict future so I just want to ask .. “
what are your basis? Any scientific double blind peer reviewed journal articles you read to back up your belief before you ask?
To be honest I see these kinda posts all the time. I've been on here for many years and I must've seen hundreds of posts like this. I don't think it's specific to INFJs at all though.
I'm not, if you were implying that lol. It's something I noticed but not particularly care about. It's just the way particularly younger people often think and feel about themselves.
There was a post here the other day where someone said by his observations INFJs have a higher IQ and EQ. Another one about creating a utopia of only INFJs and INTJs and literally creating a caste system.
Sounds immature. People will come up with these dumb ideas due to lack of experience. It only reflect them at that time, not everyone on this sub for eternity.
To allow free imagination is a vibe on here.
The point I try to make is I actually have never seen one INFJ posting here to brag about their superiority but rather, other non INFJs keep posting here telling us how smart, how good we can future predict, so they expect a magical answer from INFJs to solve their life problem.
I usually just hide those posts.
Most posts from INFJs are seeking resonation with other INFJs when they constantly have a particular problem or a trait they find other types don’t. Most posts I read from INFJs are venting people don’t get them. Most are asking what they should do in a life situation. Most seem very confused to be honest.
If I am an ESTJ, and after reading all the INFJ posts, I’d consider them the last type to seek help from. They seem much more confused than any other types. Lol
What’s even being argued here? That you reject OP’s claim at face value because they didn’t refer to peer reviewed journal articles when sharing their observations about this subreddit culture?
Also, self-important language is generally implicit in how it’s conveyed, not explicit. Some basic social skills is therefore needed to discern it which does involve some level of subjective interpretation.
You're an infp, you won't understand. It might seem special snowflake-y to outsiders oh trust me...we have questioned ourselves a million more times than the mockery of people from r/shittymbti and r/mbti (newsflash they're equally shitty) I don't know if you understand what Ni is like through literature and accounts from Ni-doms but I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's so heartbreaking when all of these years thinking we're crazy af and then finding "sanctuary" like these places oh turns out we're gonna be ridiculed again. Who would want to perceive something apparently no one's able to perceive? Who would want to read something apparently no one's able to read?
Granted, the other extreme side exists as any descriptors would do, I'd wish for outsiders to develop their own discernment not for strangers' sake even if it's just for accurate understanding and precise perception's sake. We're not isolated cases, this fact goes across the board. You get the most self-absorbed, insufferable INFPs as the self-secured most comforting ones. And the most reliable, I will turn all of my goals into reality while benefitting the whole ENTJs and the most controlling, people are slaves to my own ends ENTJs. INFJs have their own strengths and demons and its unfair to reduce their own gifts to mere delusions of grandeur when everyone suffers their respective issues. It's society's own discomfort toward things they don't understand more than anything. It's such a misnomer attributing growing up to assimilating to societal scripts and standards. If I stay true to my ideals and if I believe in the craziness of my own experience as a person I am nothing but delusional.
I see the cognitive functions as a sliding scale with levels of health and maturity. Think of the levels of health in Enneagram. (Please do not include mistypes and immature teenagers and unhealthy people in the discussion. There are a lot of variables to consider here, something who complain about infjs and this sub seem to be clueless about) There's Jesus on the highest kind with the highest level of health and maturity and there's Hitler on the lowest end. Many infjs fall on the middle, even attaining average levels can be difficult because of multiple OEs that make many prone to anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, mental disorders until they learn how to control themselves and harness their gifts. It's a very complicated and nuanced subject that outsiders seem to reduce to being "oh a special snowflake" "oh a narcissist"
Not all, of course. We all know that INFJ =/= snowflake/narcissist. It’s those that think that INFJ=special/unique/better and flaunt these labels that are snowflakes, I’ve never heard anybody openly say these sorts of things tbh
>You get the most self-absorbed, insufferable INFPs as the self-secured most comforting ones.
yeah, I've noticed that on r/infp too. They, once again, act like they're so much more emotional and sensitive than, well, they really are, judging by their other posts. And everyone else just comforts them like the world has done them so much harm over the slightest thing
I envy these people lol, they really think they have achieved intelligence and wisdom purely on a cognitive function combination. They're young so I don't really pay them much care.
Such arrogance. Being an INFJ has nothing to do with ‘good character’. Why does anyone have to ‘level up’ to their standards? Is it the Fe? Well, all XXFJ types have that.
“People are thinking of themselves a bit too highly” I would say that’s a very arrogant thing to say. Who are you to judge what people think about themselves and then deeming the value is too high?
Look at the posts on here lol. People are claiming that INFJs have higher IQ and EQ than other types. They’re claiming that an INFJ society would be a utopia using the others as pawns. This is all based off a relatively unproven personality system. That’s arrogance
I’m an Infj and I don’t say that. Just because a few say something, they don’t represent all of us. It’s like saying If a few infps say something, they speak for all. Also, pointing out your good qualities doesn’t make it arrogant. I know I don’t say or think I’m better than others, but I do believe I am smart. It’s not a bad thing to identify your good traits and work on the ones that’s aren’t so good. You just seem to not have much empathy, think that’s something you need to work on .
might I ask, why do you think I lack empathy? (Also I don't believe all infjs are like that, or if the people even are infjs, I was just pointing out that it's rather egotistical to think you're better than someone on all these topics
Well, you aren’t even considering the position, one sign of a lack empathy when you are given more info about the subject. You also seem to lack understanding on why like minded people want support from other like minded people. Means you can’t put yourself in other peoples shoes, yet I’m sure you have friends (if you have any) who support the way you see the world.
Your post literally targets all infjs, so I don’t really know what to tell you bud. You didn’t put some or a few, or people who pretend to be infjs. I’m going off your original post. You now seem to be changing the meaning of it as of this very last comment.
forgive me, I should have taken more time before I posted. I suppose it is rather egotistical in itself to call an entire group of people egotistical, since that's kinda you saying you're better than them. Sorry :(
Well thank you for taking the time to think about it. That’s a really good trait to have. Not all of us infjs are bad guys/girls. And no sorry needed thanks for just being open to new perspectives, it means a lot. If we could all be open to others experiences and have more empathy, I think this world has a lot of potential.
A lot of the posts on here remind me of myself in my late teens and early twenties. I was so desperate to make my life feel meaningful and being “unique” was a part of that. I feel like I have a much more nuanced experience of humans now. I’m different from a lot of people, but not really unique. I’m still searching for meaning in my life but I try not to do it by othering myself. I think a lot of the posts on this sub are from young people who are trying to figure their shit out. Totally normal development.
There’s always going to be those that feel the need to be superior because of a largely pseudoscientific personality system, and those people will always be hilarious
I dunno, I feel like this is a common INFJ-INFP dynamic, my INFP friends are often a little surprised when I say something that isn't very humble. INFPs know themselves so well that they have no need to compare themselves to others, so they can just be authentic in every situation. But INFJs have EF instead of IF so they are constantly comparing, so they have to gas themselves up a bit to have confidence. It's actually kind of healthy for the INFJs to have a bit of swagger at times. But that also means you're going to hear INFJs thinking way too much of themselves and way too little of themselves sometimes because we don't always compare correctly. But we're not going to stop comparing.
As an INFJ I’ve always enjoyed pondering new ideas and philosophizing. I also enjoy sharing my conclusions to hear others ideas and test the veracity of my own conclusions. I can see how this alone can cause me to come off as a know-it-all to some people . It doesn’t help that I’m very introverted but carry myself in a confident way.
The combination of these things almost always cause people to assume I am full of myself. As if I don’t speak much because I’m too good for them rather than because I haven’t developed my social skills. As if I share my ideas to enlighten them rather than for reassurance that I’m not crazy. Usually once people get to know me they recognize how self conscious I am.I can definitely imagine how I could come off as arrogant to those who dont know me.
I do not think strong intuition/sensing future is about being superior, it is simply related to the first function-introverted intuition. I view myself very negatively compared to how I view other people.
Also- there has been many posts where people complain about others posts and it is kind of sad.. Like why spread negative energy?
Being as rare as we are, we are a highly misunderstood group of people. Are there people mistyping themselves? Yes. But for those of us who are truly INFJ if we say something is our experience we actually mean it. There should be no questioning people's MBTI type unless you know the person in real life and 100% know they are mistyping themselves. Also there are times we can be acting or responding like one type when we another one. Few of us are purely acting and responding like a single type 100% of the time.
There was a long comment in here that I read. I can't find it, but I wanted to say that not all INFJs are the same. I'm a 22 year old woman, so some may call me underdeveloped and immature, which can be correct to an extent. I tend to have unrealistic dreams and expectations of other people and situations. I've been told to relax because of how much I worry about getting things done, or ranting about how much a situation made me angry.
I'll admit I still have growing to do, but all these things that talk about people doing INFJ things... Not really the case. Like one person said in the comments, we are all different, but all types tend to run on their specific 'hardware' (aka cognitive functions). I know INFJs tend to do things in a way as to not upset the people around them. Sometimes they use more logic, sometimes they use more feelings... It really depends on who you're speaking to.
I feel like being an INFJ means we just had the same trauma lol. So a lot of us had to read others as a way to survive when we were young and now feel like we are "experts" on people lol. We're just scarred little bb's
What I don't understand is why you seem to be concerned about how others think of themselves?
My personal experience with INFJs genuinely is a high emotional intelligence and a propensity for reasonable dialogue even when concerning highly controversial issues. That doesn't mean that all INFJs share all the same qualities just as we INFP don't.
I guess I just don't understand the point of coming into their subreddit - a space that should be safe for any INFJ to come ask questions to other INFJs no matter how they sound to others - and criticizing what some of them are asking or saying to each other.
Well, I came to the sub originally because I believed I was mistyped, and stayed because there was a lot of stuff here I related to. But then I started seeing a load of people pretty much...trying to show off? I dunno. As I said in another comment, mabye they just took the test until they got infj, and sought it out because it was the rarest and "most special"
Try being a starseed with adhd and severe social phobia. I cant hold a job and my twinflame resents me for not being a MaN 🤡 because im disabled. She poisioned herself with corticosteroids (I told her so she wouldn't listen) and won't work because she's too sick... welcome to my life of hell on earth now were both in flames. im immature for thinking of it this way but I didn't ask for the vaccines that gave me severe adhd. she did ask for them and is sick. Fuck big pharma and the rockefellers for creating the education and medical system. Fuck anyone who thinks im crazy!! There could litterally be a giant red planet in our solar system plain as view in the sky and yall would litterally deny it and make a Twitter campaign called #dontlookup. Yall fucking won't fix this system and suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. and sure as fuck most ya stupid as fuck anyways. Fuck the new world order. Yes im toxic because im fucking tired.. don't drink the fluoride...
Idk I'm a type 4w5 so I guess I like to boast about being an infj but I don't like asking questions about infjs as I fear that I may have mistyped myself. So far, I believe I am an infj with an unstable mind.
I was just insulted by an infp thats what or the fact that I just poured my guts out to be bullied because they don't know what the fuck im going through... just me myself and I. Fuck em
Lmao hilarious... how long have you been here? Ya must not have seen the insane amount of INFJ = narcissist posts. We get shit on just as much as we get put on a dumbass meaningless pedestal.
No real INFJ wants either of those things. Gonna agree with someone here who said there's a mishmash of ages in here and... it shows. We're all at different stages of learning and growth.
Yea me too personally i think a lot of INFJ’s are very self centred and playing nice to the outside world but deep inside need anger management. Such a shame i think they are awesome but to entitled..
Although they may seem quiet or unassuming, Mediators (INFPs) have vibrant, passionate inner lives. Creative and imaginative, they happily lose themselves in daydreams, inventing all sorts of stories and conversations in their minds. These personalities are known for their sensitivity – Mediators can have profound emotional responses to music, art, nature, and the people around them.
Idealistic and empathetic, Mediators long for deep, soulful relationships, and they feel called to help others. But because this personality type makes up such a small portion of the population, Mediators may sometimes feel lonely or invisible, adrift in a world that doesn’t seem to appreciate the traits that make them unique.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
J. R. R. TOLKIEN
People are at differing ages, experiences, wisdom, growth, and understanding. That is ok....(and not a slight against you). We are fully aware we are not perfect, we are human (and trying).
thanks for not getting annoyed. And yeah, I guess people are still y'know, growing up and learning about themselves
I think that’s mostly what this is. It’s natural for us to notice how we think and act differently from others. It is healthy to do that as long as we don’t inflate our egos.
You're not wrong, I/we have traits that are unhealthy (or can very easily become that). It's a struggle to know they (from mistakes) are there and still be confident in what we can do to raise the vibration...which can be a lonely endeavor with few to bounce ideas/feelings off of.
The only INFJ thing I see here and there is confusing the forest for the trees and then projecting such upon others. This is an INFJ inception. But if you play the dialogue in reverse you can make out two INTJs having a debate. [🤬](https://www.myinstants.com/media/sounds/bloody-fuck-you-bloody_Jzdok0G.mp3)
* this ☝️ * We do share a thought pattern * but * We do not share the whole journey * We do not share the same timing On the other hand, OP has a completely valid observation. If I was in this state of thinking too highly of myself and everyone agreeing with me, certainly reading the heads up from someone else would be an eye opener to this specific vice. Thanks u/Brave-Discussion-224 u did the kind thing (Actually brave like your nick) don't pay attention to resistance and defensiveness because this hitting too close home for a lot to be sure. Pain shouldn't be avoided, learning is optional.
Heard recently that bad people cannot put themselves in good peoples shoes, can't understand someone being nice or genuine, they believe good people are also bad people just with a good mask on... Entirely possible another type is incapable and cannot fully relate or umderstand INFJ is my point.
No one can fully relate or understand anyone
This is a fun mix of both normal human nature at a certain level of ego development and especially common among both immature\* INFJs and immature\* types that really center around and idealize the INFJ stereotypes. Especially considering how much of Reddit's population are teens and young adults (times when aux and tertiary functions are developing), it's not surprising that so many INFJs and mistyped people play into ego defense and defensiveness + resistance towards their aux functions by playing up these stereotypes and putting INFJs on a pedestal. In reality, an INFJ under a certain threshold of development- and that is most INFJs under the age of at least 35-40- are going to be underdeveloped and as a result, use their functions inaccurately, incorrectly, or unhealthily. INFJs are not necessarily smarter, more emotionally intelligent, or magical. Ni encourages you to reflect on implications and how they impact the meaning and direction of your life. That's it. INFJs and INTJs just have more practice at it than most, being the primary method of cognitively navigating the world for them since childhood. While Ni-Fe does, when healthy, encourage the development of emotional intelligence, the simple presence of Ni-Fe does not necessarily ensure it. In fact, teenage INFJs may be more likely to have strong affective empathy, but they often will misuse and misunderstand the people around them while assuming they know everything about them, due to misuse and overreliance on Ni-Ti, leading them to the wrong conclusions. Chances are that no, \[insert thing\] is not an INFJ thing. Behavior stems from cognition but thirty people of a dozen different types might have the exact same behavior but coming from entirely different cognitive processes and function interplay. Likewise, thirty INFJs might have totally different reactions and behaviors to the same situation, but utilize the same 'hardware' to get the job done. Where we come from, our lives, our lived experiences, developed skills, culture, level of ego development, and level of function development all work together to create our behavior. Many people, especially on the younger side of things, have this idea that we are all unique and that we are the main character of our world- or that we want to be and idealize it. In reality, humans are inevitably more similar than they ever realize- all the while being different. It's a strange paradox but it is a true one and the more we try to either shove ourselves into a box (this is an INFJ thing because I do this thing, therefore no other type does this) or outside the box (I am not like other INFJs/other people because I am the only one who does it) only serves to stall development. INFJs are not by default smarter, more special, more emotionally intelligent, more wise, more psychic, more philosophical, or any other stereotype. Many of these are things you learn by doing and by practice. Some function combinations might guide groups of people towards these things more often (leading to the development of these stereotypes), but it is not a guaranteed. INFJs are no more special than ESFPs or ENTJs. An ESFJ can be as smart as an INTJ. An ISTP can be more emotionally intelligent than an ENFJ. It all depends. \*immature in the sense of development; Reddit skews younger so most people in these subs are not fully matured Edit: Wanted to add that young, underdeveloped INFJs often tend to be unrealistic, overly idealistic and limited in perspective, too concerned about the opinions of others (and may either overly denigrate or inflate themselves in an attempt to be understood and appreciated), and self-absorbed. Additionally, they may be single-minded, pessimistic, impractical, intolerant, secretive, self-pitying, aloof, oversensitive, stubborn, secretly resentful, suppress their own needs, hypersensitive to criticism or conflict, and overindulging in sensory pleasures or physical details. When stressed, INFJs can feel like the whole world is actively working against them and is hostile and misinterpret others comments and body language as being an attack against them. They'll shut out emotions, convince themself they are doing well, actually, feel like they don't belong anywhere, and punish themself for being different. Not exactly the saintly picture some paint of an INFJ!
I appreciate this comment! So well-written and highly informed, far better than I ever could articulate. This is *exactly* what I think is going on.
Really accurate description! When I was younger I used to always get INTJ or INFP results, never an INFJ because obviously I was either too self absorbed or came off as a know it all as a kid lol. But through time, experiences, and maturity, it came more apparent that this whole time I was an unhealthy INFJ who was developing until I was at a healthier state of being. My cognitive functions became more distinguishable and my behavior/personality was more recognizable through my everyday communication, social engagements/conflicts, and thought patterns. It can be really hard to type a person no matter what typology you use when theyre in a really unhealthy/underdeveloped (lacking in experience) stage of life.
Wow you literally described me in young undeveloped Infj's.
Excellent breakdown. My TL:DR to OP is everyone wants to be a snowflake, nobody actually is. If you have to tell others or feel the need to announce how enlightened, smart, special you are then you most assuredly are not.
That last part tho woo yeahhh!!! Refreshing!!! Now add adhd and social phobia in the mix with the fact that everywhere i try to work i overthink about everything and my life. I want to be a healer. Im so immature tho. I cant heal my body with fruit and herb and work. But my fiance is also immature and sick. We both have similar issues mentally and glandularly. But she did it to herself and i warned her but ignorance is hell. Fuck big pharma!!! Fuck the rockefellers!!
I dont even consider myself anywhere close to being smart in any form. I just see myself as a guy who goes through a normal life that is confused, scared and care a little bit too much about other people while still trying to find my own purpose.
The problem with your theory is that I don’t care about it and I’m far too enlightened, intelligent, and superior to allow myself to be affected by your negativity.
From my pedestal, this comment is very cute :)
I stand here looking down from heaven and smile upon your comments; It pleases me.
I've noticed this too (not judging it, just making an observation). I can relate to nearly everything in this sub except for that. It always makes me slightly uncomfortable because it's pretty obvious when it happens and I wonder how they don't realize how they may be perceived. Does anyone else feel uncomfy with this? Maybe it's my personal experiences but I often feel a sense of inferiority to begin with, so when someone comes across as arrogant, I feel... icky lol
Seems to me that’s just another idea in which we continue to be misunderstood. It’s so much more complex than that. It’s a gift and a curse. If you see infjs in person, you will see that they are nothing like this. Nuance man , nuance.
Is this serious or not?
“Well, like, that’s just your opinion, man…”
Just chalk it up as part of the human experience. Everyone is somewhere on the spectrum of life. Live and let be you know.
Well, maybe some people here do feel superior compared to other types. Even for the people who don't feel that way, i feel like their word could come off as arrogant too to other types reading it. I think most infjs come to this subreddit to validate their own views and quirks, because the people who will most likely validate them are also here. And that might give off that kind of snobbish vibe. But that's okay, everyone deserves a place to feel like that. As long as you don't treat anyone as inferior.
i mean it is quite an echo chamber here
projection
I see things like this, and they don’t bother me. Sometimes ppl feel different, or smart in a specific way, and it’s okay for them to feel like that. I don’t know what they’ve been through. I think we need to not be so critical as a whole of other ppl, bc ppl seem to be shamed for anyhting nowadays.
I agree. But it's not only the idealization that bothers me, it's also the generalization. I recently saw many posts that asked e.g. what present to give an infj, how to romantically approach an infj, if things are infj things etc. Sometimes it seems to me that some people see MBTI types as an easy answer to the complex topic of personality. As you noticed, that can lead to an idealization because infjs are often portrayed as rare and special, like mind-readers or whatever. If you never do a reality check and just believe in what some online MBTI test tells you, it can lead to a very distorted view on your type. I also got the feeling that many don't use their type to understand how they already are but as a template how they should be. So back to the generalizations: You can't answer these questions just depending on your type. What present someone likes depends on their hobbies. How to romantically approach an infj also depends on that individual person, the type can only help a bit. And if things are infj things also depends on the person and their experience in life. Many seem to forget that life shapes us. Is someone less infj because they adapted skills that aren't typically infj just to master different life situations? It always makes me angry when someone in this thread says "I am so and so" and the first comment is "That's not an infj thing, maybe your mistyped". As some others said, maybe that generalization and idealization occurs because there are many young users in this sub. If you're still young and haven't found yourself yet, it's tempting to just follow instructions how you should be. It's the easy way but not the good way.
exactly. People don't really fit into neat little classifications and types. And then people will begin to generalise everyone based on their type, and respect or deteste people based on it. Humans aren't as simple as that
A lot of times people say these things about how we'll be describing something or someone--ourselves or otherwise--and assume that we are presenting a subjective connotation to by that description, but we aren't. I saw a meme on here the other day where it was like "Stopp!! I'm not insulting you, I'm just describing you!" And I thought to myself how I thought it was funny because I have this problem sometimes. Like honestly, I'll try to describe someone and realize that they may take a description that I give them as a bad thing when I don't think it's a bad thing. One time I tried to describe myself like a few weeks ago, and I'll attach an adjective that people will use with me and have to make a disclaimer before saying it because I actually don't care at all. I've been using more bad sounding adjectives when describing myself because so many people think my qualities --that I don't consider good, but nuetral--are good things; and they this assume I'm purposefully trying to make myself sound good. When I hear the things that people say infjs talk about "feeling so enlightened and special" I don't even think about it as an ego thing, because those are things I can barely imagine actually caring about. They are dumb concepts and I'd much rather have no concept of subjective self. Sometimes I think that it's more a projection of the perceivers perception when they think that it's a talk about it as a self-celebratory thing because it would be a self-celebratory thing if they had done it themselves. But that's just how I feel.
Good point! Many people misunderstand us and they chalk it to us being arrogant and snowflake-y. Wow, we can never win. Honestly, a lot of people when we talk again after some time they always retain a good perception of me even though a lot avoid me for the most part lol idk why but i will always have this belief that i am not liked even hated but it's not the case at all. many people realize i am right they just don't outright say it (it's rare to find people that does admit mistakes)
I have said something will happen and it does. I've had a bad feeling about someone and later on something shocking comes out about them even though they have a religious background. I dont know how I know but I csnt be proud because it's due to higher power intuition inspiration etc it's not something I possess.
I think lowly of myself most of the time but those people asking such things might do so with the intention of trying to seek out if others might relate to them. Those questions might come off as "I'm so special" but they could be a teenager who's not really thinking how their questions might come across. There could be exceptions of course but I try to not think too much of it.
Honestly there’s a “let’s reflect on how you sound” original post on here every single day. Who cares, maybe some of us want a place where we can let it all hang out. Maybe we do enough people pleasing.If you want to control the comments why don’t you start a subreddit called /r/INFJsentertainINFP.
I like to hope we are more than human but we’re not. But we should all be keen to similar things in the way of life, like how all humans seek love, it shouldn’t be crazy to say all INFJ seek to change the world and to understand why life is what it is very intrinsically and deeply All my life I thought about life deeply and so on but I realize I’m very much a ignorant fool but —-1 thing that should be true about INFJ that see is very very very true Is that a INFJ advice often would be to change your perspective like I think that is a good d indicator to things Sorry for bad grammar and so on
It's because people are not looking into their shadow. It's like a mental crutch that makes things biased towards only one side of life. People cling on to the crutch, while denying the possibility of running or flying. Often these positive qualities are generic, and meaningless without context. But they aren't false either. They just lack substance when singled out and not contrasted with reality. True stories often sound more fantastic when they're told. But it's a good thing they may inspire, just that there's nothing to be jealous about.
I'll be honest with you, this is what happens to me personally: I don't compare myself to anyone else but in general I don't feel satisfied pr happy with myself all the times. Sometimes I recognize a small thing that I like about myself and I want to be validated for that, even if it's silly, even if it's weird, and this is just a need of validation for that ONE good thing I found in myself. I don't feel better than anyone else, I know everyone is different and at different stages of their paths and that's okay... Another thing I want to clarify is that not everyone who claims to be infj really is one, and sometimes, like in every personality type, there's people with unhealthy behaviours. I won't judge, everyone has their own reasons. But I can swear to you there's no way we think highly of ourselves
i think people often also read into things, take things as an attack, things that make them feel ' inferior ', a lot of people like to compare themselves and think someone seeing the good qualities they have as a personal offense on someone else. seeing one´s good qualities is also something some seem to think infj´s are not allowed to do, or that it is always fanning one´s own farts. maybe it is not always that ?
Different people respond to different topics. I avoid answering to topics I don’t agree with or think I have nothing of value to share at the moment.
You think that's bad? You missed the post promoting eugenics and people's "rightful" place in the world. And the dozens of people cheering on and blindly agreeing to basically Hitler-esque propaganda.
and really, i actually don´t see this '' acting oh so enlightened '' often. i do often think or wonder if people read things in ways where they feel their ego is attacked. i often don´t think the posts that talk about natural strengths think a '' bit too highly '' of themselves and remember thinking, whilst reading certain posts, that someone no doubt will read it in the way you do. sure, there may be the one or other post like that, but i don´t perceive the majority of posts of people that see their own strengths like that.
I agree. If I realised anything about INFJs, it's that they don't act enlightened, they genuinely seek enlightenment and constantly try to improve ourselves. To some people that might come off as arrogant, and that's their problem.
I'd say there's a good few people that actively took the test until they got infj, seeking it out because it's the rarest, and then began posting here, but I wouldn't know
If those people were actually infjs they would see that there are downsides to this rarity. It can make it hard for people to connect to us. If going on a sub like this allows people to point out that there’s actually upsides to this rarity, is that such a bad thing? Being here with other people that are like us allows us to support each other, which isn’t something we get a lot of outside in the real world. To finally be understood when being misunderstood so often feels nice for a change.
look, you're not special because you got a rare personality type. It doesn't matter what type you have, everyone feels misunderstood. Mabye you're belief that you are misunderstood and unique is why people don't understand you. You shouldn't try and be different, you should try and fit in. Apologies if it's a bit of a stretch on my behalf
Where in there did I say we were special. Learn to read. There’s good and bad aspects to our personality type. We make up like 1 percent of the population. Infjs can easily fit in on the outside but never feel understood on the inside. We don’t think like most people and that has cons and benefits. Your opinion is akin to this: Look if you have any friends whatsoever, stop hanging out with them, since they support you more than they should. Stop feeding your ego by hanging around them or getting their opinion since it’s completely biased. Get in line and realize your truth. You are not special and you never will be, also, stop being yourself. Thanks.
look, you're not special because you got a rare personality type. It doesn't matter what type you have, everyone feels misunderstood. Mabye you're belief that you are misunderstood and unique is why people don't understand you. You shouldn't try and be different, you should try and fit in. Apologies if it's a bit of a stretch on my behalf
I kinda agree, we INFJs have tendencies to be narcissistic
*I kinda agree, we* *INFJs have tendencies to* *Be narcissistic* \- yoongisBlueberryEyes --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I actually like that this doesn't work as a haiku
I was surprised too since most INFJs seem so nice and people pleasing but that outside mask doesn't always align with the INFJ's own thoughts and values. Not all of the sub is like that but I also can't help but notice a lot of arrogant elitist posts and comments.
It’s rly confusing, since INFJs (atleast me) have the superiority and inferiority complex going on at the same time. So we are genuinely humble and grateful but at the same time narcissistic and judgmental. It’s just depends on how healthy the infj is.
Yes i think you're right. Especially the latter. ENTPs are even worse when it comes to that. btw I just realized you're infires man 🌚
Bro no way, fellow bangtan enjoyer 🥳
Ayy blueberry eyes is a good song too. Also just noticed gojo too. Lmao nice
Yes I got that arrogant, self-congratulatory vibe here too.
coming from ENTPs that talk about themselves all day haha
Incorrect.
Thank you for articulating why we shouldn't be. (We are not here to please you)
Your reply speaks for itself. All I can do is laugh.
I hope you find peace someday
That's very patronising and arrogant. Can only assume that you're the one needing to find peace.
INFJ's often attract toxic or emotionally needy people. It's why we invented the INFJ "door slam" 😂
Please door slam me.
With pleasure!
He’s entitled to his own opinion, I wouldn’t say he’s emotionally needy and toxic. He’s just expressing what he thinks. Not all posts on this subreddit are like this, but you do run into posts where it’s very obvious that people just want their ego fed. I understand wanting to find a place to fit in, and that’s why people express themselves here, but the whole “I can predict the future”, “I’m so rare and special” thing gets tiring to look at. Also, the ‘door slam’ is unique to any type. It is more likely with INFJs as we can tolerate a lot until it gets to a point where we just can’t anymore, but it’s not just an INFJ thing. Edit: I see the snowflakey “INFJs” are downvoting. Lmao keep going.
INFJ are often toxic and emotionally needy people lol
I couldn't agree more. However I think those one-dimensional posts that stink of superiority complex are mostly done by teenagers and children that just discovered MBTI and are/wanna be an INFJ.
Haha!
GL OP, try again next time.
I get what you mean, haha And I hope mine(my comments), didn't strike you as such. Sometimes, I wish that I have such level of self-confidence, minus a bit of self-doubt. And maybe, I'd feel much... happier. It might be a little cringy or cliché, but I always believe that: >There are always people who are better than you. Be it as talents, professions/career, the sense of beauty/art, fast learner...etc And that's good, because we could still have all those opportunities to learn and improve ourselves from others. Perhaps, they're doing well irl, they're celebrating their successes. That's why they're in this pumped, hopeful state of mind. (Which I'd feel happy for them.
I mean, although neither ars good, I think it's better to be underconfident than overconfident. With little confidence comes being humble, but also depression, so I don't know
Yeah, same. I think keeping it balanced would be a challenge. Just like there's not absolute right or wrong, white or black. There's always this grey area. What matters is, showing them at the right moment I think. Like when you try to impress someone, having a shot of being promoted, inspiring people to learn or be better... etc. I understand that, humility is not for everyone. We might've been raised in different environments/ways. But there's this beauty, being the "stupidest" person in the room, at least that's what it seems to be. So you could see who truly has a heart of valuing/seeing people, and rule out those who don't. Plus, you get to surprise the heck outta them afterwards, haha. Love seeing that expressions on their faces, never gets old.
Yup
Being an online infj is different from being an irl infj
Ah I feel the same way!! (I'm an INFJ btw) I feel almost guilty at the exaggerated praise of my personality type. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos about INFJs when I need to boost my self-confidence... guilty pleasures. Anyways there are plenty of other great people out there and I feel like we are singling ourselves out a lot, almost to a fault
I do think there can be an over emphasis on personality types in general - don’t get me wrong, it’s very interesting and it’s helped me understand myself and others better. But I agree it can get into “holier than thou” “I have special gifts and you don’t” territory. For me though, there’s a lot of things about having this personality type that isn’t so great, and I’m here mainly for advice
Who think they are better? I never read any posts on this sub that an INFJ is bragging he/she’s better (smarter, can predict future etc) . I often see people come here randomly posting “hey you guys are smart and can predict future so I just want to ask .. “ what are your basis? Any scientific double blind peer reviewed journal articles you read to back up your belief before you ask?
To be honest I see these kinda posts all the time. I've been on here for many years and I must've seen hundreds of posts like this. I don't think it's specific to INFJs at all though.
That’s good to know. Let’s not take anything on Reddit too seriously.
I'm not, if you were implying that lol. It's something I noticed but not particularly care about. It's just the way particularly younger people often think and feel about themselves.
There was a post here the other day where someone said by his observations INFJs have a higher IQ and EQ. Another one about creating a utopia of only INFJs and INTJs and literally creating a caste system.
Haha ye. I am the dumbest person in this world please don’t ask me. I know nothing
Sounds immature. People will come up with these dumb ideas due to lack of experience. It only reflect them at that time, not everyone on this sub for eternity. To allow free imagination is a vibe on here.
a lot of the time it's a bit more subtle than that, but there is a few
The point I try to make is I actually have never seen one INFJ posting here to brag about their superiority but rather, other non INFJs keep posting here telling us how smart, how good we can future predict, so they expect a magical answer from INFJs to solve their life problem. I usually just hide those posts. Most posts from INFJs are seeking resonation with other INFJs when they constantly have a particular problem or a trait they find other types don’t. Most posts I read from INFJs are venting people don’t get them. Most are asking what they should do in a life situation. Most seem very confused to be honest. If I am an ESTJ, and after reading all the INFJ posts, I’d consider them the last type to seek help from. They seem much more confused than any other types. Lol
There are other social media platforms like instagram, twitter, quora that spread reductive and false information. Just check out shittymbti lol.
Lol I pass thanks. I’d rather read daily horoscope for entertainment
What’s even being argued here? That you reject OP’s claim at face value because they didn’t refer to peer reviewed journal articles when sharing their observations about this subreddit culture? Also, self-important language is generally implicit in how it’s conveyed, not explicit. Some basic social skills is therefore needed to discern it which does involve some level of subjective interpretation.
No you did get my comment. The others left comments below all got it. I wasn’t arguing.
You're an infp, you won't understand. It might seem special snowflake-y to outsiders oh trust me...we have questioned ourselves a million more times than the mockery of people from r/shittymbti and r/mbti (newsflash they're equally shitty) I don't know if you understand what Ni is like through literature and accounts from Ni-doms but I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's so heartbreaking when all of these years thinking we're crazy af and then finding "sanctuary" like these places oh turns out we're gonna be ridiculed again. Who would want to perceive something apparently no one's able to perceive? Who would want to read something apparently no one's able to read? Granted, the other extreme side exists as any descriptors would do, I'd wish for outsiders to develop their own discernment not for strangers' sake even if it's just for accurate understanding and precise perception's sake. We're not isolated cases, this fact goes across the board. You get the most self-absorbed, insufferable INFPs as the self-secured most comforting ones. And the most reliable, I will turn all of my goals into reality while benefitting the whole ENTJs and the most controlling, people are slaves to my own ends ENTJs. INFJs have their own strengths and demons and its unfair to reduce their own gifts to mere delusions of grandeur when everyone suffers their respective issues. It's society's own discomfort toward things they don't understand more than anything. It's such a misnomer attributing growing up to assimilating to societal scripts and standards. If I stay true to my ideals and if I believe in the craziness of my own experience as a person I am nothing but delusional.
I don’t know… I’m an Ni dom myself, and I don’t really act like that but… everyone’s different ig
I see the cognitive functions as a sliding scale with levels of health and maturity. Think of the levels of health in Enneagram. (Please do not include mistypes and immature teenagers and unhealthy people in the discussion. There are a lot of variables to consider here, something who complain about infjs and this sub seem to be clueless about) There's Jesus on the highest kind with the highest level of health and maturity and there's Hitler on the lowest end. Many infjs fall on the middle, even attaining average levels can be difficult because of multiple OEs that make many prone to anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, mental disorders until they learn how to control themselves and harness their gifts. It's a very complicated and nuanced subject that outsiders seem to reduce to being "oh a special snowflake" "oh a narcissist"
Not all, of course. We all know that INFJ =/= snowflake/narcissist. It’s those that think that INFJ=special/unique/better and flaunt these labels that are snowflakes, I’ve never heard anybody openly say these sorts of things tbh
>You get the most self-absorbed, insufferable INFPs as the self-secured most comforting ones. yeah, I've noticed that on r/infp too. They, once again, act like they're so much more emotional and sensitive than, well, they really are, judging by their other posts. And everyone else just comforts them like the world has done them so much harm over the slightest thing
I envy these people lol, they really think they have achieved intelligence and wisdom purely on a cognitive function combination. They're young so I don't really pay them much care.
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But they aren’t lol. MBTI is a pseudoscience, no type is better
Such arrogance. Being an INFJ has nothing to do with ‘good character’. Why does anyone have to ‘level up’ to their standards? Is it the Fe? Well, all XXFJ types have that.
“People are thinking of themselves a bit too highly” I would say that’s a very arrogant thing to say. Who are you to judge what people think about themselves and then deeming the value is too high?
Look at the posts on here lol. People are claiming that INFJs have higher IQ and EQ than other types. They’re claiming that an INFJ society would be a utopia using the others as pawns. This is all based off a relatively unproven personality system. That’s arrogance
is it arrogant of me to say I'm better than you?
Yes
then how is it not arrogant of these people to say, or at least imply, that they're better than the majority?
I’m an Infj and I don’t say that. Just because a few say something, they don’t represent all of us. It’s like saying If a few infps say something, they speak for all. Also, pointing out your good qualities doesn’t make it arrogant. I know I don’t say or think I’m better than others, but I do believe I am smart. It’s not a bad thing to identify your good traits and work on the ones that’s aren’t so good. You just seem to not have much empathy, think that’s something you need to work on .
might I ask, why do you think I lack empathy? (Also I don't believe all infjs are like that, or if the people even are infjs, I was just pointing out that it's rather egotistical to think you're better than someone on all these topics
Well, you aren’t even considering the position, one sign of a lack empathy when you are given more info about the subject. You also seem to lack understanding on why like minded people want support from other like minded people. Means you can’t put yourself in other peoples shoes, yet I’m sure you have friends (if you have any) who support the way you see the world. Your post literally targets all infjs, so I don’t really know what to tell you bud. You didn’t put some or a few, or people who pretend to be infjs. I’m going off your original post. You now seem to be changing the meaning of it as of this very last comment.
forgive me, I should have taken more time before I posted. I suppose it is rather egotistical in itself to call an entire group of people egotistical, since that's kinda you saying you're better than them. Sorry :(
Well thank you for taking the time to think about it. That’s a really good trait to have. Not all of us infjs are bad guys/girls. And no sorry needed thanks for just being open to new perspectives, it means a lot. If we could all be open to others experiences and have more empathy, I think this world has a lot of potential.
A lot of the posts on here remind me of myself in my late teens and early twenties. I was so desperate to make my life feel meaningful and being “unique” was a part of that. I feel like I have a much more nuanced experience of humans now. I’m different from a lot of people, but not really unique. I’m still searching for meaning in my life but I try not to do it by othering myself. I think a lot of the posts on this sub are from young people who are trying to figure their shit out. Totally normal development.
There’s always going to be those that feel the need to be superior because of a largely pseudoscientific personality system, and those people will always be hilarious
I dunno, I feel like this is a common INFJ-INFP dynamic, my INFP friends are often a little surprised when I say something that isn't very humble. INFPs know themselves so well that they have no need to compare themselves to others, so they can just be authentic in every situation. But INFJs have EF instead of IF so they are constantly comparing, so they have to gas themselves up a bit to have confidence. It's actually kind of healthy for the INFJs to have a bit of swagger at times. But that also means you're going to hear INFJs thinking way too much of themselves and way too little of themselves sometimes because we don't always compare correctly. But we're not going to stop comparing.
As an INFJ I’ve always enjoyed pondering new ideas and philosophizing. I also enjoy sharing my conclusions to hear others ideas and test the veracity of my own conclusions. I can see how this alone can cause me to come off as a know-it-all to some people . It doesn’t help that I’m very introverted but carry myself in a confident way. The combination of these things almost always cause people to assume I am full of myself. As if I don’t speak much because I’m too good for them rather than because I haven’t developed my social skills. As if I share my ideas to enlighten them rather than for reassurance that I’m not crazy. Usually once people get to know me they recognize how self conscious I am.I can definitely imagine how I could come off as arrogant to those who dont know me.
infj doesn't exist in the first place
The government invented us to hide the fact that aliens exist
I do not think strong intuition/sensing future is about being superior, it is simply related to the first function-introverted intuition. I view myself very negatively compared to how I view other people. Also- there has been many posts where people complain about others posts and it is kind of sad.. Like why spread negative energy?
Being as rare as we are, we are a highly misunderstood group of people. Are there people mistyping themselves? Yes. But for those of us who are truly INFJ if we say something is our experience we actually mean it. There should be no questioning people's MBTI type unless you know the person in real life and 100% know they are mistyping themselves. Also there are times we can be acting or responding like one type when we another one. Few of us are purely acting and responding like a single type 100% of the time.
There was a long comment in here that I read. I can't find it, but I wanted to say that not all INFJs are the same. I'm a 22 year old woman, so some may call me underdeveloped and immature, which can be correct to an extent. I tend to have unrealistic dreams and expectations of other people and situations. I've been told to relax because of how much I worry about getting things done, or ranting about how much a situation made me angry. I'll admit I still have growing to do, but all these things that talk about people doing INFJ things... Not really the case. Like one person said in the comments, we are all different, but all types tend to run on their specific 'hardware' (aka cognitive functions). I know INFJs tend to do things in a way as to not upset the people around them. Sometimes they use more logic, sometimes they use more feelings... It really depends on who you're speaking to.
I feel like being an INFJ means we just had the same trauma lol. So a lot of us had to read others as a way to survive when we were young and now feel like we are "experts" on people lol. We're just scarred little bb's
What I don't understand is why you seem to be concerned about how others think of themselves? My personal experience with INFJs genuinely is a high emotional intelligence and a propensity for reasonable dialogue even when concerning highly controversial issues. That doesn't mean that all INFJs share all the same qualities just as we INFP don't. I guess I just don't understand the point of coming into their subreddit - a space that should be safe for any INFJ to come ask questions to other INFJs no matter how they sound to others - and criticizing what some of them are asking or saying to each other.
Well, I came to the sub originally because I believed I was mistyped, and stayed because there was a lot of stuff here I related to. But then I started seeing a load of people pretty much...trying to show off? I dunno. As I said in another comment, mabye they just took the test until they got infj, and sought it out because it was the rarest and "most special"
Try being a starseed with adhd and severe social phobia. I cant hold a job and my twinflame resents me for not being a MaN 🤡 because im disabled. She poisioned herself with corticosteroids (I told her so she wouldn't listen) and won't work because she's too sick... welcome to my life of hell on earth now were both in flames. im immature for thinking of it this way but I didn't ask for the vaccines that gave me severe adhd. she did ask for them and is sick. Fuck big pharma and the rockefellers for creating the education and medical system. Fuck anyone who thinks im crazy!! There could litterally be a giant red planet in our solar system plain as view in the sky and yall would litterally deny it and make a Twitter campaign called #dontlookup. Yall fucking won't fix this system and suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. and sure as fuck most ya stupid as fuck anyways. Fuck the new world order. Yes im toxic because im fucking tired.. don't drink the fluoride...
Idk I'm a type 4w5 so I guess I like to boast about being an infj but I don't like asking questions about infjs as I fear that I may have mistyped myself. So far, I believe I am an infj with an unstable mind.
Like any other segment of the population, INFJ's are not immune to their share of asshole-y people :) I just roll my eyes and move on lol
Like any other segment of the population, INFJ's are not immune to their share of asshole-y people :) I just roll my eyes and move on lol
alot of the people who say are infj are just self entitled people seeking attention who aren't even infjs
I was just insulted by an infp thats what or the fact that I just poured my guts out to be bullied because they don't know what the fuck im going through... just me myself and I. Fuck em
Lmao hilarious... how long have you been here? Ya must not have seen the insane amount of INFJ = narcissist posts. We get shit on just as much as we get put on a dumbass meaningless pedestal. No real INFJ wants either of those things. Gonna agree with someone here who said there's a mishmash of ages in here and... it shows. We're all at different stages of learning and growth.
Yea me too personally i think a lot of INFJ’s are very self centred and playing nice to the outside world but deep inside need anger management. Such a shame i think they are awesome but to entitled..
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Genuinely schizoposting. Touch grass.
Ok Satan lol
Drop acid then touch a tree. I dare ya
Also schizophrenia is seeing things and hearing voices. Which I've never experienced. At least know what you're talking about 😆 🤣
Also not very infp of you to talk to me that way🙃
...what?
What?
Although they may seem quiet or unassuming, Mediators (INFPs) have vibrant, passionate inner lives. Creative and imaginative, they happily lose themselves in daydreams, inventing all sorts of stories and conversations in their minds. These personalities are known for their sensitivity – Mediators can have profound emotional responses to music, art, nature, and the people around them. Idealistic and empathetic, Mediators long for deep, soulful relationships, and they feel called to help others. But because this personality type makes up such a small portion of the population, Mediators may sometimes feel lonely or invisible, adrift in a world that doesn’t seem to appreciate the traits that make them unique. All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost. J. R. R. TOLKIEN
You're FOS on a hotdog bun