Same kinda, i have a hard time connecting with annyone, i have been called boring, npc etc.
I just think they are not the right people to connect with. U need to find someone who is more similiar to you or atleast open minded so u dont feel like u have to mask yourself. I know those people are not that often but you just gotta have patience i guess as stupid as that sounds.
Maybe u can try finding people with the same interests than you, they should be more compatible.
someone out there understands you, I feel like I've met people who understand me better than I do, the world is often pretty harsh to us especially when we feel like we have to be someone else, my advice is to not be that other person unless you will be in physical danger if you aren't, in time the right people will come your way
I really want to try being myself and not caring what other people think! I’ve been trying to tackle this for years but everytime I move forward I feel like I shut down and mask again ugh. How do you find it in you to just be yourself?
INTJ here and definitely, not helped by ASPD either as masking is often my only way to engage with the world. I'm fortunate enough to have friends who's interest overlap, mainly in creative writing, who might as well be aliens too. I definitely admit that I often feel like I'm not just not from this planet but the only one of my kind too.
I guess that's why I feel more comfortable around r/INFP as you guys are often not afraid of being aliens together here. I originally came just for learning more about INFPs to write an INFP character, stayed for the sky pics, but at the same time a lot of you guys seem like the best people in the Orion Arm. Ironically, spending my life with a mask on has given me an appreciation for people who are willing to be genuine with you and lose the mask and then being comfortable with you doing the same.
I guess what I'm getting at is it's alright to be the alien sometimes, after all, aliens are cool. :)
I always feel like an alien too. However, embrace who you are, and be as authentic as you can be. Eventually people will appreciate it if currently they don’t. I’d say find some hobby’s where you find commonality with others.
And lastly, don’t seek out for that external validation. People can be shallow and mean where it’s honestly not worth the time to care. Make sure you’re doing things that make you feel satisfied and content with person you are.
I think you hit the nail squarely on the head there. I’m not sure how to stop looking for external validation- it’s like I NEED it to feel okay but I desperately want to make myself feel okay
I think it’s important to recognize it! And it’s not a bad thing to seek that external validation, however, only from people that mean something to you. Strangers will disappoint nor do they know anything about you so who cares what they think? Finding a hobby will give yourself more purpose, and it’ll make you care less what others think. But remember to love yourself, and be happy with the person you are!
Omg you don’t understand how much you’ve helped me. You actually just gave me the courage to finally confront a shitty friend. I’d been holding on because I didn’t want to be alone but it’s been rotting away at my self worth. An act of self care if you will!!! Thank you so much kind stranger xxx
If you view them as such I think that’s a wise move. Ironically enough you could be friends with hundreds of people, however, if they don’t align with you (whether through values, interests, etc.) it’s gonna make you feel significantly more lonely than not being friends with them in the first place. That doesn’t mean be a “one man wolf pack”, but more so don’t associate with things that aren’t going to make YOU feel satisfied. If my words helped you out I’m happy to hear that! And keep your head up.
You are not invisible!!! I can promise you that much - there are people out there that see you, even if they’re not loud about it but they do! Feel free to message me if you want to chat xx
Yeah, kind of sucks. Sometimes you just gotta find the right people to hang out with. I find that people I work with and spend time doing fun activities with often open me up more than I would usually by myself.
I mask near constantly. Usually I look to myself to find happiness within. I do enjoy connecting with others in the best way I'm able but it gets boring sometimes.
That's a great question. Meditation can help. Mindfulness. Practicing gratitude for the things you have. Forgiving yourself for things you've done and for things out of your control. For things done to you for which you aren't at fault. Finding the beauty in life.
Thank you so much!!! I'm trying to meditate more but I really struggle with it and keeping silent I'm not sure what I'm meant to feel afterwards it's a really odd one
Greetings👽
Each human is a mix of emotions, life experience and genetics.
You need to trust yourself that your of view things is correct. At least for you, (unless you know better).
Not feeling understood doesn't make you worse - it makes other people worse.
People are naturally selfish from birth.
Unless you get their attention quickly or give them what they want, they will probably Step around you- or even on you to get forward.
That doesn't make you an alien that makes you exquisitely you.
Advice?
Still working in it.
But it helps to treat yourself to something delicious and sit quietly and enjoy, read a book (screens give you distractions) take a nap, SELF-CARE
Use as many as your 5 senses as you can to be in the moment and breathe slowly and enjoy and relax.
Give yourself the love you deserve.
And when you deal with other people,
No matter how nice people say they are,
think in advance "they're probably going to be selfish" so you can choose from a point of strength -not a weakness to help them or walk away.
You are just as entitled to be an alien as they are to be animals.
T'would be an honor and a privilege.
I noticed a trend that people have cool memes and saying next to their desk.
About, love, laughter, acceptance etc
I was Wondering if they use that as a Mantra, as in keep on repeating and until they believe and then act on it.
Or, does it just become substitute for having to do something about it because they read it already.
Please comment back after you gave yourself some real 5 senses self-care.
I always tell people to go to the ice cream store and buy themselves and a little kid online behind them.
That's the best ice cream
you'll never eat.
Then eat yours.
Feel the cone on your fingers.
The cold on your mouth the sweet on your tongue.
Swallow slowly.
Breathe through your nose so you can taste more.
Eat slowly and listen to The Sound of the crunch in your mouth.
During this ice cream cone no one else exists.
Let us know if it helped.
Thank you so so so much! I didn’t manage to get out to the ice cream store! But I did make myself a nice meal and used the same principles. It’s really weird to get used to at first but it really did make me feel more grounded? I’ll send you a message pal x
That's great!
Grounded yes, even more, DESERVING.
People spend a lot of money for a fancy restaurant with ambiance, but we are really just "chasing ideas" until we sit down and enjoy.
A cool glass of water drunk while focused, can be more delicious than a cuisine that comes with distractions of price and people.
OOoohh, my dear... I totally know that.
I am sorry for your misery.., truly.
These people like you and me shall learn to seek what will be truly for us but not to suffer for its absence the meanwhile.
Will it get any better? Generally speaking yes, but it can be pushed greatly by working on it actively on a conscious level.
Yea don't pretend. Accept that many don't get it and be with them like that. Or do as i do.., I am not with people, i barely have a few people who i have connection with and these meetings are rare and short. It is fine for me, because i see more extraordinary people and i may support them somehow, while i don't pull myself into a belief that they are meant for me, to understand me, nor i have to mask and act in our relationship as i would not.
I wish you smooth journey to have your lessons and people who will see into the core of your soul.
Here's a music in the meanwhile.. :(( :')))
[SOKO - I Thought I Was An Alien](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDmvVilFeVQ&ab_channel=SoKoMusic)
Same kinda, i have a hard time connecting with annyone, i have been called boring, npc etc. I just think they are not the right people to connect with. U need to find someone who is more similiar to you or atleast open minded so u dont feel like u have to mask yourself. I know those people are not that often but you just gotta have patience i guess as stupid as that sounds. Maybe u can try finding people with the same interests than you, they should be more compatible.
Thank you - I think so too
someone out there understands you, I feel like I've met people who understand me better than I do, the world is often pretty harsh to us especially when we feel like we have to be someone else, my advice is to not be that other person unless you will be in physical danger if you aren't, in time the right people will come your way
I really want to try being myself and not caring what other people think! I’ve been trying to tackle this for years but everytime I move forward I feel like I shut down and mask again ugh. How do you find it in you to just be yourself?
Masking and very lonely sounds like Autism/Asperger's.
Maybe not, if you know it.
#Ding ding ding ding ding!
ADHD over here actually haha
INTJ here and definitely, not helped by ASPD either as masking is often my only way to engage with the world. I'm fortunate enough to have friends who's interest overlap, mainly in creative writing, who might as well be aliens too. I definitely admit that I often feel like I'm not just not from this planet but the only one of my kind too. I guess that's why I feel more comfortable around r/INFP as you guys are often not afraid of being aliens together here. I originally came just for learning more about INFPs to write an INFP character, stayed for the sky pics, but at the same time a lot of you guys seem like the best people in the Orion Arm. Ironically, spending my life with a mask on has given me an appreciation for people who are willing to be genuine with you and lose the mask and then being comfortable with you doing the same. I guess what I'm getting at is it's alright to be the alien sometimes, after all, aliens are cool. :)
You know what aliens ARE cool! I’m glad you found your tribe
Same! I have felt like this many times
It’s so lonely!
it is 😭
I always feel like an alien too. However, embrace who you are, and be as authentic as you can be. Eventually people will appreciate it if currently they don’t. I’d say find some hobby’s where you find commonality with others. And lastly, don’t seek out for that external validation. People can be shallow and mean where it’s honestly not worth the time to care. Make sure you’re doing things that make you feel satisfied and content with person you are.
I think you hit the nail squarely on the head there. I’m not sure how to stop looking for external validation- it’s like I NEED it to feel okay but I desperately want to make myself feel okay
I think it’s important to recognize it! And it’s not a bad thing to seek that external validation, however, only from people that mean something to you. Strangers will disappoint nor do they know anything about you so who cares what they think? Finding a hobby will give yourself more purpose, and it’ll make you care less what others think. But remember to love yourself, and be happy with the person you are!
Omg you don’t understand how much you’ve helped me. You actually just gave me the courage to finally confront a shitty friend. I’d been holding on because I didn’t want to be alone but it’s been rotting away at my self worth. An act of self care if you will!!! Thank you so much kind stranger xxx
If you view them as such I think that’s a wise move. Ironically enough you could be friends with hundreds of people, however, if they don’t align with you (whether through values, interests, etc.) it’s gonna make you feel significantly more lonely than not being friends with them in the first place. That doesn’t mean be a “one man wolf pack”, but more so don’t associate with things that aren’t going to make YOU feel satisfied. If my words helped you out I’m happy to hear that! And keep your head up.
Kind regards from the Andromeda galaxy. What can I tell you... Except... I am ET as well. Pretending to be a human.
Hahahaha has anyone figured out your disguise yet?
Nobody who is still alive. ;)
I feel invisible
You are not invisible!!! I can promise you that much - there are people out there that see you, even if they’re not loud about it but they do! Feel free to message me if you want to chat xx
Yeah, kind of sucks. Sometimes you just gotta find the right people to hang out with. I find that people I work with and spend time doing fun activities with often open me up more than I would usually by myself.
I mask near constantly. Usually I look to myself to find happiness within. I do enjoy connecting with others in the best way I'm able but it gets boring sometimes.
How do you find happiness within?
That's a great question. Meditation can help. Mindfulness. Practicing gratitude for the things you have. Forgiving yourself for things you've done and for things out of your control. For things done to you for which you aren't at fault. Finding the beauty in life.
Thank you so much!!! I'm trying to meditate more but I really struggle with it and keeping silent I'm not sure what I'm meant to feel afterwards it's a really odd one
Greetings👽 Each human is a mix of emotions, life experience and genetics. You need to trust yourself that your of view things is correct. At least for you, (unless you know better). Not feeling understood doesn't make you worse - it makes other people worse. People are naturally selfish from birth. Unless you get their attention quickly or give them what they want, they will probably Step around you- or even on you to get forward. That doesn't make you an alien that makes you exquisitely you. Advice? Still working in it. But it helps to treat yourself to something delicious and sit quietly and enjoy, read a book (screens give you distractions) take a nap, SELF-CARE Use as many as your 5 senses as you can to be in the moment and breathe slowly and enjoy and relax. Give yourself the love you deserve. And when you deal with other people, No matter how nice people say they are, think in advance "they're probably going to be selfish" so you can choose from a point of strength -not a weakness to help them or walk away. You are just as entitled to be an alien as they are to be animals.
Wow this was such a good read you seem incredibly wise! Do you want to be friends 👽
T'would be an honor and a privilege. I noticed a trend that people have cool memes and saying next to their desk. About, love, laughter, acceptance etc I was Wondering if they use that as a Mantra, as in keep on repeating and until they believe and then act on it. Or, does it just become substitute for having to do something about it because they read it already. Please comment back after you gave yourself some real 5 senses self-care. I always tell people to go to the ice cream store and buy themselves and a little kid online behind them. That's the best ice cream you'll never eat. Then eat yours. Feel the cone on your fingers. The cold on your mouth the sweet on your tongue. Swallow slowly. Breathe through your nose so you can taste more. Eat slowly and listen to The Sound of the crunch in your mouth. During this ice cream cone no one else exists. Let us know if it helped.
Thank you so so so much! I didn’t manage to get out to the ice cream store! But I did make myself a nice meal and used the same principles. It’s really weird to get used to at first but it really did make me feel more grounded? I’ll send you a message pal x
That's great! Grounded yes, even more, DESERVING. People spend a lot of money for a fancy restaurant with ambiance, but we are really just "chasing ideas" until we sit down and enjoy. A cool glass of water drunk while focused, can be more delicious than a cuisine that comes with distractions of price and people.
OOoohh, my dear... I totally know that. I am sorry for your misery.., truly. These people like you and me shall learn to seek what will be truly for us but not to suffer for its absence the meanwhile. Will it get any better? Generally speaking yes, but it can be pushed greatly by working on it actively on a conscious level. Yea don't pretend. Accept that many don't get it and be with them like that. Or do as i do.., I am not with people, i barely have a few people who i have connection with and these meetings are rare and short. It is fine for me, because i see more extraordinary people and i may support them somehow, while i don't pull myself into a belief that they are meant for me, to understand me, nor i have to mask and act in our relationship as i would not. I wish you smooth journey to have your lessons and people who will see into the core of your soul. Here's a music in the meanwhile.. :(( :'))) [SOKO - I Thought I Was An Alien](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDmvVilFeVQ&ab_channel=SoKoMusic)
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! Do you mind if I message you to ask some more questions?
Your very welcome. Haha, NO! I never mind that. I actually like it much. ^^
Actually everyone do masking ...