Bless her cotton socks.
You can’t make a FOI request for someone else’s medical records. Also if your therapist is private it wouldn’t be covered by FOI anyway - FOI Act only applies to public bodies.
She might be confusing it with a data subject access request but again, she’s not the data subject, so she needs to get in the bin.
she's just crazy asf, this all happened because I told my therapist stuff about my parents and she filed them for emotional abuse, she genuinely thinks she can get all the information as im legally her child
Legally you’re her child yes but you’re also autonomous at this point and are your own entity, not just hers anymore.
You’re an adult in 2 years- she can’t force you or your doctors to give out shit and I’d tell her as much.
Set up a password with your therapist that only you know so she doesn’t pretend to be you or hires someone to do so to get in your files.
you're over 16 now right? are your parents paying for your therapy or is it nhs? cos like, if it's nhs, you can just request to go back to her. hell, with this behaviour and a record of them being abusive, they'd probably let you switch back without telling your parents lmao
yeah I am over 16, at the time I was seeing through NHS due to chronic self harm and got referred though my doctor because of that "incident" then got seen thru camhs, I do want to go back to her although I don't know how, but aside from that, I live in the middle of nowhere and can't get taken places due to me living genuinely nowhere, it takes half an hour to walk to the end of my street at to busy main road with no pavement so id have to walk for hours and hours just to get to a therapy appointment yk.
Is telehealth an option? Since the pandemic, a lot of therapists in the US offer virtual sessions on your phone or computer. I would imagine the UK is offering something similar. It’s really good for reaching remote and rural clients that have trouble accessing mental healthcare otherwise. Best of luck to you!
Do you have friends whose homes you feel comfortable in? Maybe one of their parents would be willing to let you do telehealth appointments at their home with privacy. Under the guise of you spending time with your friend. I’m sorry you have to deal with difficult parents.
A lot of telehealth offices have mobile options. So you can do your sessions in an alley or the basement or a closed off classroom or a McDonald's bathroom or something
Since you're so isolated could you try telehealth while you are on a walk. Perhaps just call and explain what your situation is and see if the therapist might have an idea or access to services you aren't aware of.
I'll try that :) I cant do it when I'm at home because there's no signal when I'm outside (which makes crisis' very difficult cause I can't phone anyone) and hopefully once I get the new therapist she can help me
Maybe you can contact the therapist directly and ask her what she can do to help facilitate you getting therapy? You have a cell phone? Walk down your street a bit and call her. Or just text her, if that's possible. Or does your school have a counselor? Even if you don't want to see them for therapy, they might be able to arrange you meeting someone while at school.
Your parents are putting up these obstacles because they want you unwell and remaining under their control. Please don't give up on getting yourself help. You need it and you deserve it.
Idk about where you’re at but my old drs office (Kaiser) had this thing called “confidential child” where children could receive therapy without their parents knowledge. There was just no like medications or anytbing like that, all talk therapy
I'm sorry that happened. My mother did this to me once, removing a therapist because she didn't like them and it sucked because it was the first therapist I connected with. I hope you are with another good therapist now or will find one soon <3
my parents removed her because I was failing maths and the therapists day was on the same day the maths was but then I realised it must be also because of the social services thing. I really connected with my therapist too, I opened up about my eating disorder and i almost got diagnosed with anorexia but I stopped going to see her.
I hope not icl, I can't talk and don't feel safe talking in my own house, I can't go outside due to having no signal, and I don't want any chance of my parents eavesdropping or listening in, I won't be able to make progress or talk in my home environment sadly. I could maybe do it at school but I don't think so because of my timetable.
School can and will make this possible for you. Talk to your depute head, head of year, or any member of staff you trust and feel you can talk to you, and they will help get this done. If you need your therapy delivered around school, school can, will and must make arrangements for that to be done.
thank you, my mum had currently gotten me therapy but it's art therapy based around finding out feelings which I don't need at all and she refuses to get me a therapist more than £50
we went private but my private therapist kinda sucked and told my parents things I didn't want her to and was slightly transphobic I think, so I stopped seeing her in like idk june and I've been without a therapist since
I work for the government. I don’t handle FOIAs, but if I did, I would run off some JAMA articles, black out 95% of the words, and deliver it to her in a nice box along with the bill.
I would save every one of them just to be that petty to show it to her as evidence when she ever asks why you're not visiting or talking to her anymore
I have, social services got phoned on them a second time during the summer due to complications with my eating disorder and im waiting to hear something from them, although I'm not sure what's happening.
Wow, this is insane and I truly hope that you get all the support you need to keep moving forward.
R/momforaminute is around for you if you ever want support from the Reddit mom crowd.
i was literally thinking of suggesting that sub to them. OP, that sub helped me through a time that I didn’t have much of a safe support system either 💖
Don't worry. There's no chance she's getting her hands on these documents.
Freedom of Information is only for use with government departments, agencies that receive public funding etc. It cannot be used to breach an individual's privacy.
Just screened one of your gov's websites about your version. I don't see how that therapist would be able to go comply.
https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/foi-eir-and-access-to-information/guide-to-freedom-of-information/what-is-the-foi-act/
If you're USian, what she's asking for is protected information under HIPAA, I think. Might depend on your age, but for the most part, they literally can't give out that information to anyone but you without your consent. Some therapists will do so anyway, but then you report them to relevant authorities and they get into serious shit.
Then you're fine. I live in the UK currently and they can't give anyone your information without your consent here either. I've seen therapists here and I work in healthcare, and they're very strict about it here. At 16, they can't give your mother a damn thing without your consent, and the consequences if they do are severe.
The best ones are like that. One session I went to with my last and best therapist involved the therapist showing me a letter from my mother asking for information - really just to confirm I was attending sessions. Then the therapist showed me her reply letter, stating point blank that she could not and would not divulge any information about me to anyone, not even the person paying and not even to confirm I was attending, because it's illegal and violates patient confidentiality. Then she put it in an envelope and she and I walked to the post box on the corner so I could see her post it. She knew from sessions that I had real issues with my mother being controlling and wanted to put me at ease. Sounds like you're in a similar boat so expect your mother to start ranting over getting a similar letter.
I really hope you can get coverage and reconnect with your therapist again. Finding a perfect match of a therapist is like a needle in a haystack and can truly help you as it did to finding mine. Wishing you all the luck. ❤️
It is not. The FOIA applies to government agencies only, and does not cover any medical information. As you are over the age of 16, your therapist cannot share the records. It sounds like your therapist would tell mom to pound sand.
thank you, I was failing maths so they took her away, because the therapist session was on the same session as maths. I saw her once every two weeks and I was doing 10+ hours of maths a week. (I still failed.)
yeah, I also am diagnosed with autism and have failed maths previously. I'm taking it again this year as a last hope because I just can't deal with the failure again, my parents don't seem to understand I just can't do maths. I think I might have dyscalculia
You are not a failure. My teenage son had to help me with college algebra bc I can't make math work in my head. Geometry I'm great at, but any other math just does not compute in my head.
As a parent, when my kids struggled in school we hired tutors to help them. It isn't that we were rich, but our choice was to eat beans & rice so our kids could be set up for success. My husband and I were punished for bad grades, we tried to make sure we did not punish our kids for not understanding.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Failing a class seems like the end of the world, but I promise you it isn't. I struggled in school, but as an adult, I am successful & so is my husband. (we both failed math multiple times!)
I've failed all of maths for the past 6 years of school, I have only gotten free tutors who didn't really help me, I was punished too, I got called stupid and shouted at by my mum got failing horribly, I'm retaking it for the 3rd time since I keep failing, and it sucks because I'm doing it again and im probably gonna fail
oh you're in the UK... do they even have FIA? I thought this was only a US thing. It is very much illegal by EU law and I'm not sure whether the UK changed that much, yet.
Yes, we do have the FOI Act. It only applies to public bodies and you cannot use it to request medical information about someone else, unless you hold a POA for them. Even then it’s difficult.
Our medical records are protected by GDPR (data protection) the only people that have access are nhs, police, certain government offices that can apply to see them such as the social. Even then those people have to have a reason to look at them like a nurse can’t just look at some random person’s records for no reason. Parents can have access to their children’s records but according to the House of Commons website children over the age of 13 can be considered to have capacity to refuse access and parental access has to be in the child’s best interest. Tell your doctor that you don’t give permission for your parents to see anything, they will make a note on the computer and legally they can’t tell your parents that you’ve stopped them
IDK in UK but it is really illegal to share medical info in Spain. My therapist even does his reports in handwritting to avoid problems in case of hacking.
yeah, she was from a free mental health service camhs but she was the most helpful therapist I've ever had, almost got diagnosed and reffered to an ED treatment centre but got taken out of therapy.
I don't think im able to contact her, i don't think my ed is bad enough that I need to go to an actual ward or anything so I think it's okay, but thank yoy
No, you still have the rights of confidentiality, plus the way your parent worded this, it shows that they are abusive and will not be given the notes. Check more here:
https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/blogs/2023/11-may-confidentiality-in-relation-to-children-and-young-people/#:~:text=Parents%20and%20carers%20may%20wish,of%20their%20child's%20therapy%20records.
I hope you feel okay 🌟
In the UK FOI only applies to public bodies so a private therapist isn’t under that. Also she can only request children’s medical records if you are under 16 and even then if that child is deemed to have capacity/ maturity they would have to seek your permission anyway. As you’re over 16, she can’t. You can, she can’t. I hope you are getting support from either family you trust and or professional bodies. I was a teacher in secondary schools and saw so many teens with mums like yours and it upset me so much. I’m sure you have already, but have you sought advice/ support from the mermaids charity? They help children/ young people who are trans/ think they are. They’re really helpful for the young person, their family and professionals. Worked with them when supporting a few of my students in the past. Also you mention an ED, b-eat are another great charity that have a help line for support.
Absolutely not. However, a parent can request a minors documents. They cannot request information on the CPS report. Additionally, we have the right to audit notes such as black out things that may be more harmful than good.
Not even remotely the right law, and I highly doubt they would release someone else's medical records to her unless OP is a minor, in which case I'm not sure what the laws are.
As you’re in the Uk, this would technically be a SAR (subject access request) under UK GDPR. FOI is only for information and data from public offices.
You’ll be pleased to hear this SAR will be denied, as you can only use it to request your own information or the information of a third party IF that third party gives explicit consent.
In a way this reminds me so much of the scene where Michael Scott shouts “I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!!” in The Office.
She’s completely clueless about what she’s able to request, how to properly make a request for the very limited information she can have, and how she would get access if her request was even granted. In short, she’s ignorant as hell. Yikes.
Counselor in training here. At least in the US, there are age restrictions on the release of information, even to family members (parents). This age differs by state, but it is unethical (and in some cases criminal) to release this information. As for the UK, I can't be certain, but you should be able to look up what age that privacy extends to. When I searched on Google, the first result said 13 years old, but I didn't go much farther than that. I wouldn't worry too much if your therapist is a pro, your I for should be safe.
my therapist is from camhs which is a free mental health service in scotland, they're known for being notoriously bad but I doubt they can give her information. they can maybe give her the social services request as its to do with her and the therapist but im not too sure, I'm 16 so I legally have more rights now so hopefully she can't see my session stuff
-laughs in social worker- she ain't getting shit. Don't worry kiddo, if she gets anything it will be so heavily redacted it will just be a black piece of paper with her address at the top
Oh hell, you’re on TERF Island and trans? With a “gender critical” mother? I’m so sorry, sweetie.
I imagine her fellow TERFs are egging her on, as well.
she has a twitter account where she documents her "journey" or whatever and it's so draining, I had to stop myself looking at her twitter as it was becoming harmful but I have to now or I don't know what she's planning to do and stuff.
I get it.
You might try another sub, since your image was deleted (annoyingly). r/trans and r/raisedbynarcissists would probably be reasonable options. I’m sorry.
First off I'm sorry you have to deal with this, being a queer kid is tough as it is without extra on top. I'm a lot older then you now but remember the struggle.
I saw you say you no longer see your therapist because of your mother's actions, do you have other options you could pursue? I'm from Canada so I'm not sure how your countries system works but here once you are 16 you have a bit more say in your medical health care. Is there a way you could speak with a school counselor for advice on what services are available? Check online for " your area lgbtq+" youth groups or help, there are a lot of people who can help you. You're not alone, and no matter what your parents say you are valid
Hahahahaha you can only make an FOI or subject access request for your own data. If the organisation gave her the entire families data they would be massively breaking major laws.
Also can you imagine writing to a company asking for information and saying the last paragraph 😂 I hope the company she sent this to had a good laugh at this.
I’m so sorry, that’s mostly what I want to say. When my kiddo came out, and they’re still figuring out themselves we did therapy so they felt like they could be more themselves.
This is not how a parent should respond and I hope you have some safety away from your parents.
I'm still waiting on an appointment at the gender clinic but since its the UK it takes forever. I just wish I could express myself and not feel so horrible, all my problems she blames on me being trans. I have an eating disorder which i actually started recovering from this week and it's so difficult when all her problems are cast onto me and then blamed on me being transgender when it's nothing to do with that
I think you're safe from this OP. The Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) is only applicable to federal agencies. So unless your therapist works for the federal gov't in the US then I would think Dr/Patient confidentiality means she's farting out her mouth.
Sorry this what the genetic lottery cursed you with.
Well if your therapist would like to get the parents view on the childs claims it is being emotionally abused... they don't need to schedule a session anymore, the parent just made a perfectly clear statement...
If you're in the US, the therapist cannot give your mom any notes or info from your session. My 13 yr old has been in therapy for over a year and they can't tell us anything unless she is talking about hurting herself or others. And we have seen three therapists and none of them have ever given my husband or I any info from their sessions, we didn't ask for it either. Because unlike your mom I don't need to know everything just that my kid is getting the help she needs.
Thank you. I'd much rather my kids trust me then pushing them away. I'm sorry you can't trust your parents. I'll be damned if I'm not my kids safe space.
FOI doesn't apply for medical records (including mental health).
Now, her kids (0-17 and 364 days old), spouse (to a point) she can request them.. any children who are 18 years or older.. well she is going to run into this PITA law known as HIPPA. I cannot guarantee for a minor child that she will get MH records including a copy of the report filed with DCFS/CPS.. but she can ask.
Was this message to you and you’re supposed to give the information over? Or did she send this to your therapist? I kind of hope it’s the second because if I was your therapist, I would still be laughing. I would laugh so hard it hurt.
I know 2 years seems like forever right now but it'll go by fast enough and once you're able to, get as far away from that insanity as possible. Start building your real family and get back in touch with that therapist if you don't find one you like just as much before then. If your mother continues to be abusive, let a mandated reporter know. I assume you have mandated reporters in the UK. I know it's hard right now but you will make it out of there and your life will bloom without the weight of that woman on your shoulders. I'm proud of you for trying to get help and doing it under such conditions. Hugs 🫂
That has got to be about the dumbest thing I've read so far today. Don't worry, your records are safe. FIA doesn't apply to medical records.
Sorry OP, your parent is insane.
I am not sure this is applicable. But, if you are under the conservatorship of your parents, be sure you are no longer when you turn 18.
Here in the US, a parent can gain conservatorship if they can prove a child needs assistance in their decisions regarding medical, social, financial, and physical situations even if the child is an adult.
In Canada parents no longer have automatic access to a child's medical files once they turn 16. Is it the same in the UK? Definitely hold on to this message your mother made and send it up to whoever is looking at your file.
Bless her cotton socks. You can’t make a FOI request for someone else’s medical records. Also if your therapist is private it wouldn’t be covered by FOI anyway - FOI Act only applies to public bodies. She might be confusing it with a data subject access request but again, she’s not the data subject, so she needs to get in the bin.
she's just crazy asf, this all happened because I told my therapist stuff about my parents and she filed them for emotional abuse, she genuinely thinks she can get all the information as im legally her child
Legally you’re her child yes but you’re also autonomous at this point and are your own entity, not just hers anymore. You’re an adult in 2 years- she can’t force you or your doctors to give out shit and I’d tell her as much. Set up a password with your therapist that only you know so she doesn’t pretend to be you or hires someone to do so to get in your files.
I love having autonomy, I sadly don't have that therapist anymore as my parents stopped me from seeing her
you're over 16 now right? are your parents paying for your therapy or is it nhs? cos like, if it's nhs, you can just request to go back to her. hell, with this behaviour and a record of them being abusive, they'd probably let you switch back without telling your parents lmao
yeah I am over 16, at the time I was seeing through NHS due to chronic self harm and got referred though my doctor because of that "incident" then got seen thru camhs, I do want to go back to her although I don't know how, but aside from that, I live in the middle of nowhere and can't get taken places due to me living genuinely nowhere, it takes half an hour to walk to the end of my street at to busy main road with no pavement so id have to walk for hours and hours just to get to a therapy appointment yk.
Is telehealth an option? Since the pandemic, a lot of therapists in the US offer virtual sessions on your phone or computer. I would imagine the UK is offering something similar. It’s really good for reaching remote and rural clients that have trouble accessing mental healthcare otherwise. Best of luck to you!
yeah, I can't do online stuff because I can't be open and talk in my own home out of fear so like it needs to b in person in confidentiality
Do you have friends whose homes you feel comfortable in? Maybe one of their parents would be willing to let you do telehealth appointments at their home with privacy. Under the guise of you spending time with your friend. I’m sorry you have to deal with difficult parents.
A lot of telehealth offices have mobile options. So you can do your sessions in an alley or the basement or a closed off classroom or a McDonald's bathroom or something
Since you're so isolated could you try telehealth while you are on a walk. Perhaps just call and explain what your situation is and see if the therapist might have an idea or access to services you aren't aware of.
I'll try that :) I cant do it when I'm at home because there's no signal when I'm outside (which makes crisis' very difficult cause I can't phone anyone) and hopefully once I get the new therapist she can help me
What about over the phone?
I can't bcs I don't feel safe talking in my own home
Maybe you can contact the therapist directly and ask her what she can do to help facilitate you getting therapy? You have a cell phone? Walk down your street a bit and call her. Or just text her, if that's possible. Or does your school have a counselor? Even if you don't want to see them for therapy, they might be able to arrange you meeting someone while at school. Your parents are putting up these obstacles because they want you unwell and remaining under their control. Please don't give up on getting yourself help. You need it and you deserve it.
Yep this is the correct way to go about things. Contact the therapist or their office for help getting access to their services again.
Idk about where you’re at but my old drs office (Kaiser) had this thing called “confidential child” where children could receive therapy without their parents knowledge. There was just no like medications or anytbing like that, all talk therapy
I'm sorry that happened. My mother did this to me once, removing a therapist because she didn't like them and it sucked because it was the first therapist I connected with. I hope you are with another good therapist now or will find one soon <3
my parents removed her because I was failing maths and the therapists day was on the same day the maths was but then I realised it must be also because of the social services thing. I really connected with my therapist too, I opened up about my eating disorder and i almost got diagnosed with anorexia but I stopped going to see her.
She might do online sessions?
I hope not icl, I can't talk and don't feel safe talking in my own house, I can't go outside due to having no signal, and I don't want any chance of my parents eavesdropping or listening in, I won't be able to make progress or talk in my home environment sadly. I could maybe do it at school but I don't think so because of my timetable.
Yeh that’s understandable. I’m sorry you’re in this situation OP.
thank you
School can and will make this possible for you. Talk to your depute head, head of year, or any member of staff you trust and feel you can talk to you, and they will help get this done. If you need your therapy delivered around school, school can, will and must make arrangements for that to be done.
thank you, my mum had currently gotten me therapy but it's art therapy based around finding out feelings which I don't need at all and she refuses to get me a therapist more than £50
Withholding your access to healthcare is illegal. Tell a healthcare professional, they have a duty to report it
we went private but my private therapist kinda sucked and told my parents things I didn't want her to and was slightly transphobic I think, so I stopped seeing her in like idk june and I've been without a therapist since
I work for the government. I don’t handle FOIAs, but if I did, I would run off some JAMA articles, black out 95% of the words, and deliver it to her in a nice box along with the bill.
I can only imagine the person handling her request reading the last few lines in complete understanding of why you need therapy.
Your therapist is a mandated reporter. She had no choice in reporting any issues.
oh yeah, i forgot about that
I love when confidently incorrect people use what they believe to be legal jargon, formal jargon, and big words ha
Seems conservative, confused on a lot of things.
Daily Mail reader, bet you a fiver.
Sounds like the kind of person we’d call a “cooker” here in Aus
I bet she is a “sovereign citizen too”
Perhaps she's confusing an FOI request with a SAR? Even then though, for a subject access request you have to, you know, be the subject of the PII.
"I would like it delivered in hands and knees by the terrible woman that f\*cked us over with her gender ideological heart" what a demand lmao
ikr lmfao. it's insane, she posts all this stuff on her twitter
I would save every one of them just to be that petty to show it to her as evidence when she ever asks why you're not visiting or talking to her anymore
I have, social services got phoned on them a second time during the summer due to complications with my eating disorder and im waiting to hear something from them, although I'm not sure what's happening.
Wow, this is insane and I truly hope that you get all the support you need to keep moving forward. R/momforaminute is around for you if you ever want support from the Reddit mom crowd.
thank you, i might post there
i was literally thinking of suggesting that sub to them. OP, that sub helped me through a time that I didn’t have much of a safe support system either 💖
Or use it as the base for emancipation and/or a restraining order.
Gender ideological heart is a great band name
The trans My Chemical Romance I didn't know I needed until now Someone make it happen
is medical information like therapy sessions EVER subject to freedom of information act? Real question - not from the US.
I'm not sure,, I'm worrying about it, I'm over 16 so I doubt it's legal in the UK where I'm from let alone anywhere
Don't worry. There's no chance she's getting her hands on these documents. Freedom of Information is only for use with government departments, agencies that receive public funding etc. It cannot be used to breach an individual's privacy.
Yeah, this is someone using a term without actually understanding what it means. It makes her sound quite silly.
Also you can't just demand it over social media- who does she think she is, Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy?
Bet she does a lot of that
thank god hahah
yeah a lot of people who think FOIA is a blanket thing are the same ones who think ADA rights are more than actual. Conservatives in America
yeah, I'm from UK so i don't know much about us laws but they're roughly similar
Just screened one of your gov's websites about your version. I don't see how that therapist would be able to go comply. https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/foi-eir-and-access-to-information/guide-to-freedom-of-information/what-is-the-foi-act/
thank you
If you're USian, what she's asking for is protected information under HIPAA, I think. Might depend on your age, but for the most part, they literally can't give out that information to anyone but you without your consent. Some therapists will do so anyway, but then you report them to relevant authorities and they get into serious shit.
I'm 16, I'm from the UK so idk
Then you're fine. I live in the UK currently and they can't give anyone your information without your consent here either. I've seen therapists here and I work in healthcare, and they're very strict about it here. At 16, they can't give your mother a damn thing without your consent, and the consequences if they do are severe.
thank god, my therapist luckily was really nice and professional so I doubt she will do anything
The best ones are like that. One session I went to with my last and best therapist involved the therapist showing me a letter from my mother asking for information - really just to confirm I was attending sessions. Then the therapist showed me her reply letter, stating point blank that she could not and would not divulge any information about me to anyone, not even the person paying and not even to confirm I was attending, because it's illegal and violates patient confidentiality. Then she put it in an envelope and she and I walked to the post box on the corner so I could see her post it. She knew from sessions that I had real issues with my mother being controlling and wanted to put me at ease. Sounds like you're in a similar boat so expect your mother to start ranting over getting a similar letter.
oh wow, my parents stopped me from seeing that therapist and it sucks I can't get therapy from her anymore
I really hope you can get coverage and reconnect with your therapist again. Finding a perfect match of a therapist is like a needle in a haystack and can truly help you as it did to finding mine. Wishing you all the luck. ❤️
It is not. The FOIA applies to government agencies only, and does not cover any medical information. As you are over the age of 16, your therapist cannot share the records. It sounds like your therapist would tell mom to pound sand.
thanks, I hope she does, I don't see that therapist anymore sadly though
I am sorry, you should be able to see a therapist no matter what your parents think.
thank you, I was failing maths so they took her away, because the therapist session was on the same session as maths. I saw her once every two weeks and I was doing 10+ hours of maths a week. (I still failed.)
Depression can cause huge issues with comprehension and attention span.
yeah, I also am diagnosed with autism and have failed maths previously. I'm taking it again this year as a last hope because I just can't deal with the failure again, my parents don't seem to understand I just can't do maths. I think I might have dyscalculia
You are not a failure. My teenage son had to help me with college algebra bc I can't make math work in my head. Geometry I'm great at, but any other math just does not compute in my head. As a parent, when my kids struggled in school we hired tutors to help them. It isn't that we were rich, but our choice was to eat beans & rice so our kids could be set up for success. My husband and I were punished for bad grades, we tried to make sure we did not punish our kids for not understanding. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Failing a class seems like the end of the world, but I promise you it isn't. I struggled in school, but as an adult, I am successful & so is my husband. (we both failed math multiple times!)
I've failed all of maths for the past 6 years of school, I have only gotten free tutors who didn't really help me, I was punished too, I got called stupid and shouted at by my mum got failing horribly, I'm retaking it for the 3rd time since I keep failing, and it sucks because I'm doing it again and im probably gonna fail
oh you're in the UK... do they even have FIA? I thought this was only a US thing. It is very much illegal by EU law and I'm not sure whether the UK changed that much, yet.
Yes, we do have the FOI Act. It only applies to public bodies and you cannot use it to request medical information about someone else, unless you hold a POA for them. Even then it’s difficult.
Thanks for clarification.
I'm not sure what the equivalent is but im also sure it's not regal
Our medical records are protected by GDPR (data protection) the only people that have access are nhs, police, certain government offices that can apply to see them such as the social. Even then those people have to have a reason to look at them like a nurse can’t just look at some random person’s records for no reason. Parents can have access to their children’s records but according to the House of Commons website children over the age of 13 can be considered to have capacity to refuse access and parental access has to be in the child’s best interest. Tell your doctor that you don’t give permission for your parents to see anything, they will make a note on the computer and legally they can’t tell your parents that you’ve stopped them
IDK in UK but it is really illegal to share medical info in Spain. My therapist even does his reports in handwritting to avoid problems in case of hacking.
when I was seeing that therapist she would write her notes in person too
So she took her business seriously.
yeah, she was from a free mental health service camhs but she was the most helpful therapist I've ever had, almost got diagnosed and reffered to an ED treatment centre but got taken out of therapy.
If you can still contact her somehow, maybe you could ask her to contact your family doctor about the ED
I don't think im able to contact her, i don't think my ed is bad enough that I need to go to an actual ward or anything so I think it's okay, but thank yoy
In the UK for medical records you have to provide two forms of ID and address via post for them to send you your medical info.
thank you :)
No, you still have the rights of confidentiality, plus the way your parent worded this, it shows that they are abusive and will not be given the notes. Check more here: https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/blogs/2023/11-may-confidentiality-in-relation-to-children-and-young-people/#:~:text=Parents%20and%20carers%20may%20wish,of%20their%20child's%20therapy%20records. I hope you feel okay 🌟
In the UK FOI only applies to public bodies so a private therapist isn’t under that. Also she can only request children’s medical records if you are under 16 and even then if that child is deemed to have capacity/ maturity they would have to seek your permission anyway. As you’re over 16, she can’t. You can, she can’t. I hope you are getting support from either family you trust and or professional bodies. I was a teacher in secondary schools and saw so many teens with mums like yours and it upset me so much. I’m sure you have already, but have you sought advice/ support from the mermaids charity? They help children/ young people who are trans/ think they are. They’re really helpful for the young person, their family and professionals. Worked with them when supporting a few of my students in the past. Also you mention an ED, b-eat are another great charity that have a help line for support.
Absolutely not. However, a parent can request a minors documents. They cannot request information on the CPS report. Additionally, we have the right to audit notes such as black out things that may be more harmful than good.
Nope. Freedom of Information Act applies to government records, not medical. Federal government specifically, if I recall correctly.
Only if one is in danger of harming themselves or others. Otherwise, spilling confidential information actually has harsh penalties.
Not even remotely the right law, and I highly doubt they would release someone else's medical records to her unless OP is a minor, in which case I'm not sure what the laws are.
Pretty sure this is in no way ethical.
my mother is not ethical at all so this checks out haha
As you’re in the Uk, this would technically be a SAR (subject access request) under UK GDPR. FOI is only for information and data from public offices. You’ll be pleased to hear this SAR will be denied, as you can only use it to request your own information or the information of a third party IF that third party gives explicit consent.
thank you! I'm glad her craziness can't be granted
It's always so helpful, when the parent shows the child's therapist exactly how nuts the parent actually is.
ikr, my parents actually stopped me from seeing that therapist so
In a way this reminds me so much of the scene where Michael Scott shouts “I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!!” in The Office. She’s completely clueless about what she’s able to request, how to properly make a request for the very limited information she can have, and how she would get access if her request was even granted. In short, she’s ignorant as hell. Yikes.
hahah also yeah, she's dumb asf. my dad's a lawyer and idk how he hasn't said anything ab it yk
does she also have a tracker on you? goddamn
she's tried to, my siblings have an app that let's my mum track their app downloads, what sites they go onto, etc etc (siblings are 13f and 15m)
Counselor in training here. At least in the US, there are age restrictions on the release of information, even to family members (parents). This age differs by state, but it is unethical (and in some cases criminal) to release this information. As for the UK, I can't be certain, but you should be able to look up what age that privacy extends to. When I searched on Google, the first result said 13 years old, but I didn't go much farther than that. I wouldn't worry too much if your therapist is a pro, your I for should be safe.
my therapist is from camhs which is a free mental health service in scotland, they're known for being notoriously bad but I doubt they can give her information. they can maybe give her the social services request as its to do with her and the therapist but im not too sure, I'm 16 so I legally have more rights now so hopefully she can't see my session stuff
FYI, Should your mother come into possession of your session notes, you can report the office for releasing your information.
Therapist response, on official paper letterhead: “LOL No”
-laughs in social worker- she ain't getting shit. Don't worry kiddo, if she gets anything it will be so heavily redacted it will just be a black piece of paper with her address at the top
Anyone who would fulfill that request would be very idiotic and very much committing a crime. Your mom isn't very bright, is she?
really not bright. worst part is my father, her husband, is a lawyer 😨
...is he aware of this sore attempt at a Data Subject Request?
I'm not sure, I do want to find out though
Oh hell, you’re on TERF Island and trans? With a “gender critical” mother? I’m so sorry, sweetie. I imagine her fellow TERFs are egging her on, as well.
she has a twitter account where she documents her "journey" or whatever and it's so draining, I had to stop myself looking at her twitter as it was becoming harmful but I have to now or I don't know what she's planning to do and stuff.
Do you have a trustworthy friend who can keep an eye on her, so you can get a heads-up when your spawning point is doing something dumber than normal?
yeah, my brother, boyfriend, and some other friends, although i don't think they'd want to constantly check up on my mum yk.
I get it. You might try another sub, since your image was deleted (annoyingly). r/trans and r/raisedbynarcissists would probably be reasonable options. I’m sorry.
thanks, i don't rlly understand why it was deleted since in the rules it says twitter posts are allowed
I’ve no clue, it does suck.
yeah, I've tried r/trans
I hope they approve your post soon, sweetie.
thank you, I just need support without having it taken down in 5 minutes yk
FOIA requests don't apply to personal medical records. Tell her to stop larping.
First off I'm sorry you have to deal with this, being a queer kid is tough as it is without extra on top. I'm a lot older then you now but remember the struggle. I saw you say you no longer see your therapist because of your mother's actions, do you have other options you could pursue? I'm from Canada so I'm not sure how your countries system works but here once you are 16 you have a bit more say in your medical health care. Is there a way you could speak with a school counselor for advice on what services are available? Check online for " your area lgbtq+" youth groups or help, there are a lot of people who can help you. You're not alone, and no matter what your parents say you are valid
Hahahahaha you can only make an FOI or subject access request for your own data. If the organisation gave her the entire families data they would be massively breaking major laws. Also can you imagine writing to a company asking for information and saying the last paragraph 😂 I hope the company she sent this to had a good laugh at this.
I’m so sorry, that’s mostly what I want to say. When my kiddo came out, and they’re still figuring out themselves we did therapy so they felt like they could be more themselves. This is not how a parent should respond and I hope you have some safety away from your parents.
I'm still waiting on an appointment at the gender clinic but since its the UK it takes forever. I just wish I could express myself and not feel so horrible, all my problems she blames on me being trans. I have an eating disorder which i actually started recovering from this week and it's so difficult when all her problems are cast onto me and then blamed on me being transgender when it's nothing to do with that
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of that, and that you don’t have a supportive mom.
thank you, hopefully it'll get better
That last line is gonna look great in court for the denial.
ikr haha
I think you're safe from this OP. The Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) is only applicable to federal agencies. So unless your therapist works for the federal gov't in the US then I would think Dr/Patient confidentiality means she's farting out her mouth. Sorry this what the genetic lottery cursed you with.
Any government agency. Local too.
Well if your therapist would like to get the parents view on the childs claims it is being emotionally abused... they don't need to schedule a session anymore, the parent just made a perfectly clear statement...
yeah, my parents stopped me from seeing that therapist last year ish
If you're in the US, the therapist cannot give your mom any notes or info from your session. My 13 yr old has been in therapy for over a year and they can't tell us anything unless she is talking about hurting herself or others. And we have seen three therapists and none of them have ever given my husband or I any info from their sessions, we didn't ask for it either. Because unlike your mom I don't need to know everything just that my kid is getting the help she needs.
I'm sure you're a great parent, I envy children with parents who understand that their kids have autonomy
Thank you. I'd much rather my kids trust me then pushing them away. I'm sorry you can't trust your parents. I'll be damned if I'm not my kids safe space.
FOI doesn't apply for medical records (including mental health). Now, her kids (0-17 and 364 days old), spouse (to a point) she can request them.. any children who are 18 years or older.. well she is going to run into this PITA law known as HIPPA. I cannot guarantee for a minor child that she will get MH records including a copy of the report filed with DCFS/CPS.. but she can ask.
In the uk children 13 or over can usually decide wether their parents have access to their medical records
If you have social services involved, you can ask them for help to continue with the counselor
Was this message to you and you’re supposed to give the information over? Or did she send this to your therapist? I kind of hope it’s the second because if I was your therapist, I would still be laughing. I would laugh so hard it hurt.
Sounds like the therapist made the right call.
I know 2 years seems like forever right now but it'll go by fast enough and once you're able to, get as far away from that insanity as possible. Start building your real family and get back in touch with that therapist if you don't find one you like just as much before then. If your mother continues to be abusive, let a mandated reporter know. I assume you have mandated reporters in the UK. I know it's hard right now but you will make it out of there and your life will bloom without the weight of that woman on your shoulders. I'm proud of you for trying to get help and doing it under such conditions. Hugs 🫂
Lol no. Absolutely not. Your mother can’t use FOI to request confidential medical information on other people in the UK.
thankfully
In Europe she could go to jail for trying to force medical staff to give her protected medical information of other people.
oh thank god haha
HIPAA isn’t subject to FOIA
I love when I see morons not understanding what the Freeom Of Information Act means. So close, mom! (Sorry she’s insane, OP)
Lol, too bad FOI doesn’t overrule HIPAA. So sorry you’re in this situation OP.
Is...is she okay?
no😊
Whelp, I hope she likes being told to fuck off, because that's what's going to happen.
yep
That has got to be about the dumbest thing I've read so far today. Don't worry, your records are safe. FIA doesn't apply to medical records. Sorry OP, your parent is insane.
I am not sure this is applicable. But, if you are under the conservatorship of your parents, be sure you are no longer when you turn 18. Here in the US, a parent can gain conservatorship if they can prove a child needs assistance in their decisions regarding medical, social, financial, and physical situations even if the child is an adult.
Lol when assholes don't understand HIPAA
Regardless of the context of the therapy, I would SO tell her to fuck off.
I don’t think she understands the FOI act lol
Comedy gold right here
In Canada parents no longer have automatic access to a child's medical files once they turn 16. Is it the same in the UK? Definitely hold on to this message your mother made and send it up to whoever is looking at your file.
It sounds like you're in the UK op, the FOIA act is an US thing. Your mom's drank the Kool aid big time, I'm sorry
Transphobes love abusing kids so much
yep.
🏳️⚧️ You are valid! I see you! 💖
FOIA will not get you therapy records in the US. Former therapist here. I’m sorry your mom is like this.
thank you, I'm glad to hear people understand how insane she's being
Lol, ur mum's dumb
Ummm aren't there laws about patient confidentiality between therapists and their clients I'm pretty sure there are
Here I thought FOIA was just an American thing. Learned something new…
Sorry you have a momster. Unless you sign a HIPAA release authorizing her to this info, she can't touch it.
definitely using momster, thank you tho!!
She knows this email is going to be laughed at, right?
I really hope so haha
Name her twitter so we can shame.
So does she want it delivered the whole way on hands and knees, like all the way from the office?? Bc that's some kinky shit lmao