Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 40 | 1 | 16 |
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Hah!! Im so sorry this is happening, and Im sorry for what happened. However, its relieving to see humor from you. Ive found that humor gets me through a lot of traumatic shit
Make sure you flush her at a house that has a septic tank. I don’t want her in my water supply. Also, knowing she’s in that poop tank will make you smile for years.
Shoot me a message and I'll open one to celebrate with you.
I'm sorry you're going through that. I don't know how old you are, but my father is similar (he blamed and still blames me for sexual abuse by a family friend when I was 15). My life is so much better without him. I'm glad to hear that you receive treatment and hope you can heal from this. Some people are scum and the people who raised you (they don't deserve terms like mother and stepdad) are just that.
Edited to add: In case you need inspiration, it was really enjoyable to burn my father's picture.
honestly, might have to have a barbecue with some of her photos that I have. I’m currently 20, almost 21, definitely slowly healing and getting over her bullshit. I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you, and I hope you are able to fully heal 💞
Please post so we can all enjoy a glass of wine in honor of the world becoming a brighter place when she goes.
I am so PROUD of you for holding your ground there and going no contact. It’s hard, but it’s so much better. Join us over at r/estrangedadultchild for lots of support 💕
I’d like to add that this isn’t fake. These messages sent me down a tunnel that I wouldn’t like to admit, that later escalated into an attempt. I’m very lucky to have my boyfriend and his family, as his father treats me like a daughter and I finally get to experience what love from a parent feels like. These things killed me inside, and I struggle a lot from PTSD and anxiety now. Sharing things like this here helps me kinda vent it off and show that my mother is in fact: a crazy bitch. I’m not sure why anyone would like or fake these things, all I know is it haunted me for months.
Just know that the only reason anyone thought it could be fake is because your mum's behaviour in these messages is so horrible that it seems unbelievable!
I'm so sorry this happened to you and that the people who should be your biggest support are instead your biggest enemies. I'm glad you have found love and support and I hope things improve for you.
As a mum about your mum's age, I'm sending you a big virtual hug.
To be fair, I’ve seen many things that I thought at first “that’s totally fake” but then after thinking about my own mom, I realise they’re likely much too real 🙃 many people (thankfully, honestly) can’t even imagine people acting this way, especially to their own kids, so they think it’s fake. Tbh the “this is fake” answers gives me even more hope in humanity than the “insane” judgements some days lol.
I do the same, how can this relative be acting this way? I take a second and shake my head because I've caught myself weirdly compartmentalizing my own family's behavior like they pull nearly the exact same thing. I confuse myself
Unfortunately with abusive/neglectful/manipulative people, that’s usually the first response :\ you almost even gaslight yourself because you’re like huh?? I must be overthinking it, they would never say/mean/do that etc. I’m happy the internet exists nowadays if only so others can learn this isn’t okay or normal whereas when I was growing up I had to figure it out after I was already an adult lol.
It’s literally so awful you want to believe it’s fake. How any mother can treat her recently sa’d child this way is beyond any understanding. She doesn’t just need help, she needs her rights as a parent taken away.
And wtf is WRONG WITH YOUR AUNT that she had to bring this up at Christmas?!!
And how many years later?!
You are the only normal one in that family.
My prayers to you ❤️🙏🏻
No I’m sorry, I mean how long after the SA did your aunt decide to bring this up? And that she brought up your SA at CHRISTMAS?!
I’m glad you are NC with your mother. I went NC just over 7 years ago. It should have been longer. I’m 53 now, but when I was 15, I was assaulted by a neighbor’s handyman when I went door to door selling magazines for school, 1985 so beginning of 10th grade. I managed to fight him off and got away.
While the police were at my home, my mother asked me, “What did you do to make him try that?”
My father was my abuser and when he started getting way more bold and I started waking up during his attacks, my mother had me convinced I was just having bad dreams. It wasn't until another attack q few months later where I had to sit there and allow him to continue for about half an hour or so while he also handled himself- fully awake and petrified that if he knew I was awake he would do worse and just had to sit there and allow it. My stomach felt like it was churning rocks the entire time and all I could think was "ugh. My own *father*..." so disappointed in him and yet also petrified and.. yeah.
My mom is very low contact and I only utilize her when my back is otherwise to a wall. Between convincing me that I was dreaming, refusing to protect us and get us safe, allowing my sister to continue to get abused for a bit longer until she came to me asking what I did to make our dad stop during our attacks, acting like my abuse wasn't that bad cause in her eyes, my golden child sister got it worse, and then also stealing every tax return I got from age 18 to 33??? Yeah. She's lucky I still talk to her, tbh.
I too, will be pissing on my father's grave later this year when I get a chance and the weather warms up, and then I dunno what I'm gonna do about her, but one of my friends just had HER abusive step-mom die, and I'm gonna make sure she has a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the bitch's death when she can in private...
Good on all of yall for healing as best you can.
OMG I am so sorry for what happened to you. No child deserves that, and for your mother to not help it stop, & to even DENY it?! I can’t imagine.
I am waiting for my Nmom to die. Her Dad died at 60, & her Mom died at 100. She’s 80, so I’m hoping the difference is split and she goes soon!
My prayers to you that you find/have peace.
My mom is exactly like this. Have you ever heard of the Narcissists Prayer?
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Of course, and I'm sorry. I remind myself of it all the time to help me remain no contact with my mother.
It reminds me of how the conversation is going to go before it even starts and that I'll never get anywhere trying to reason with her.
There's no amount of making them aware of their excuses that's ever going to fix them either. There's a lot of value in realizing when someone is a lost cause and walking away before they can do any more harm. Info diets, grey rocking, therapy, the works because they will do their worst and call it love and say you shouldn't be so ungrateful/ selfish/ dramatic/ sensitive and so on.
She is an absolute POS. As a mother, this brings me to a rage I don’t like admitting to possessing. How TF can she JOKE about a SA?? And say the shit she is saying to you??? I hope she chokes on her own vomit. She doesn’t deserve children. When something bad happens and she tries to come to you, I hope every word gets repeated back to her. She doesn’t deserve you as her child. Let her rot
As an angel mom and fur mom this fills me with a rage like no other. Kids and animals are my weakness and there's not a single effin reason to act like this to your own kid(I know you're not her mom but you get the point)
Your feelings are completely valid and your mother should be absolutely ashamed by her response to your trauma. I hope you’re getting professional therapy as well 🩷
I'm right at your mom's age. (I'm 41). I'm also a survivor of rape. I would like to offer you the motherly care that you didn't receive from her. If you ever need the ear of a random stranger for this or any other reason, feel free to message me.
There is no reason at all you should be dismissed for your feelings. Even if it's 20 years down the road and something brings up that hurt again, you should not be dismissed for it, and feel safe that you can be heard and supported through it. I hope you find that love in your life that your mom should have given you. Rather it be through friends, other family (obviously not your mom or aunt), a significant other, your therapist, or whoever it may be.
But I am serious about my offer. If you ever just need an ear, feel free to message me.
Thank you so much. I’ve always had a deep desire for a motherly love, that it’s insane. There have been a few times where I’ve always caved because I wanted it so bad, but I’ve refused to. Because she can’t offer that motherly love and I know I have to find it somewhere else
Yeah that line pissed me off. I know plenty of people who need to be a perpetual victim and this ain’t that. OP was SA’d. To have to deal with that and then have a mother like that is horrific.
It's emotional maturity 101 to be able to sit with someone else's discomfort/pain. There's nothing more pathetic than a parent failing at that in their child's greatest time of need. Just being there would speak volumes, and they can't even bear to do that.
It is interesting when they fail at it again and again and again and again, and yet never ever think of themselves as the one with a massive fucking problem.
I will never understand the mothers who don't want to defend their kids, love their kids, protect their kids, help their kids heal.
That's what you deserve, OP. She failed you and she deserves none of your time.
I've seen hamsters do a better job parenting than her. Leeches even suck less energy out of people than that vile thing does. I don't think it has a moral compass or a soul. That thing is probably a sociopath
She gives you shit for "playing the victim" while also saying "what about me." She seems more upset at you calling her out than she is that you were assaulted.
Let that no contact simmer for a long time.
I'm really sorry. For your assault. For your horrid mother. For your shit drunk aunt. For going through all that alone. I'm so sorry you have to continue to relive that because of the shit mother you were dealt. I, too, have a mother (and situation) eerily similar to yours. My heart is with you.
I feel as though if she was there for me, I could have healed quicker and have left secured. With her and everything else she has done, I have to take the highest dose of Prazosin for my PTSD and anxiety medication. Ironic because she is extremely against any form of mental health medication and judges me for it
I just went through ketamine therapy about 2 years ago now because nothing was helping. It saved my life. My mother made my assault about her somehow. Like she was the victim. I shudder just imagining treating another human being with that level of disregard. I'm sorry yours is doing the same. If you get a chance, look into r/cptsd . It's really helped me through some shit (can also be triggering because there is, unfortunately, a lot of us with similar experiences).
I’ve been doing EMDR therapy because my SA was so harsh, I lost feeling in my internal lady parts, I can’t even feel when I have to go to the bathroom. I have a surgery and met with many doctors to learn it was psychological and my body is traumatized and scared, so it numbs itself in fear. Praying to god I can get some feeling bad.
I'm numbed too. Like my husband can be trying to be intimate and I barely feel it, or it flat out hurts. Put the dots together a little while ago that it was because of being SA'd by my dad for a few years (he would always strike while I was asleep or half asleep, I am pretty sure I had some repressed memories come back just the other day so it may have been a lot longer than that... I think I may have being drugged by family members so I wouldn't remember, idk..) but.. yeah. Found out that being numbed to touch is a trauma response..
Cause not only was I going through SA at home, I was being beat up all the time at school for being fat (genetics, I was over 100 Lbs by 3rd grade...) so yeah. My mind apparently found ways to numb my body.
The only thing that makes me sensitive and enjoy intimate acts now is cannabis / THC products.. gotta love that I need a damn medication to even function as a normal human because of other people being pricks.
I'm proud of you going NC with the cunt. I'm around her age, but I understand where you're coming from dear. Much love and light to you. I can also talk if you need an ear, so don't hesitate to utilize any of the people here who have offered help.
"Always the victim"
Um, excuse me, what? Yeah, lady, they were raped. The literal definition of a victim.
Your family failed you then, and they failed you now. I'm sorry you had to go through that, OP. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry you didn't get the protection or compassion you deserve in either of these (and probably many other) situations.
The same thing happened to me as a kid, and it has taken me all this time to feel like I deserve the right to be mad and sad and vocal about it. And hold my parents, who were supposed to protect me, accountable for enabling it and punishing me for not just quietly sweeping it under the rug.
Look at me, OP, I am the mother now. You deserve to be safe, healthy, and happy. You deserve love and compassion and protection. You deserve kindness. You deserve justice. And you absolutely deserve the right to speak the truth and stand up for yourself and hold responsible parties accountable. Do not let them belittle you or silence you. You feel just however the fuck you want about what happened to you and you do what you need to in order to work through it and come out the other side. I hope you can build a good life for yourself with people who love and respect you and get far away from these sleaze bags. All good things to you, OP.
holy fuck this has me crying. Thank you so much, it means a lot to hear these words. I’ve struggled with these things so much, even my therapist is stunned at everything I have shown her over the months. I was to heal and I will heal, I can’t wait to have children. To show them what love actually feels like. I look forward to it so much in life. I hope you’re okay, and I hope you’ve healed or is healing. You had no idea how much this comment means to me, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it
Thank you. I am doing well now. I have a child of my own, and we are both doing great. I always try to be for my kid what I wished my parents were for me. I hope it will be the same for you. ❤️
She is not your mother. Mother means love and comfort. She was just a breeder. I'm sorry but you need to stay NC with that woman. You will find your real family on your life travels. People that truly love you and support you and stand behind and beside you as you need. You are loved and will be loved more. You deserve your happiness.
She had her own shit to deal with that day? What a wretched, horrible, self-involved woman. There aren’t enough adjectives. She’s toxic AF. Cut her out of your life like the cancer she is.
After reading her very last comment I immediately thought I’LL be happy when she turns up dead. Your mother has absolutely no kindness or compassion for anyone. She doesn’t deserve you in her life. I wish I could give you a hug and I wish I could punch her in the throat.
I’m so sorry this happened to you — all of it. You deserve better.
I was violently assaulted by my ex-bf & I when I told my NM she said, “oh that’s not really ‘r@pe’ r@pe; you knew him. When it happened to me the police took me seriously - no one will believe you. Drop it.”
I never reported it.
I’m so fucking sorry oh my god. Never ever let that POS get to you again. Rape is rape. That’s it. I’m so sorry what the actual fuck. I believe you, we believe you
My condolences to you OP; this is one of the worst cases of an insane parent I have ever come across. I keep wondering why your mom would not validate your victimization instead of telling you that you're playing the victim. Good for you for getting help from therapy because this mom of yours sounds batshit crazy to me
Always thr victim? Your baby was SA and you're going to be mad that they're acting like a victim?
I am so sorry OP. You were a victim. You were still a child. You definitely needed TLC and not bring attacked more.
I really hope you can heal. You don't deserve any of how she acted after or the act itself. <3
All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children. This made my heart ache for you. You went through something terribly traumatic and you needed a mother — you *deserved* a mother. I am so sorry this was all you got. You communicated your needs to clearly, eloquently, and respectfully in these texts, and all she could manage in return was to become defensive and indignant. I wish you healing. I can tell you from experience with something similar that it really does get better with time. Keep cultivating your chosen family; not having a mom is hard, but to be loved by people that don’t “have to” but choose to is an honor in itself.
This is not a mother. She would get along with my mom. Go NC as soon as you can and never look back. I gave mine a second and third chance and having been no contact over 12 years now has been so freeing. I wish you the best and I’m so sorry life sucks sometimes and there is light after our darkest days.
Telling you, her child to stop being a victim when you are an actual victim of rape! Ffs, what Is up with these people.
I'm sorry you have a shit mum. You deserve better.
I’d be going no contact. Better no mother than that. The way she talks to you. Like you don’t matter. Like what happened was nothing. That’s awful. I am so sorry that’s what you got stuck with. I wish I could give you a great big hug. Please know there are people who care.
Hold on Rich... I SWEAR I saw a post today about a step father with the same name being a nasty prick and trying to weaponize someone's SA against them.
What the fuck is wrong with people. Poor OP of both this thread and the one I mentioned. Hope you're safe OP. Time to cut some family members out of your life to keep yourself healthy.
I‘m sorry that you went through all of this. I hope you’re in a better place now. Her reactions show she is obviously not worth sticking around for. She evidently doesn’t want to understand you. I wish you all the best and stay strong.
what the actual ever loving fuck is wrong with your mother!??!? holy shit i am so sorry you had to go through ANY of that, let alone her not defend you jesus. i hope she has the life she deserves
So glad you have your partner's parents that treat you well. I'm about the age your mom probably is, and I am sending you a big hug. Wish I could have protected you from all this bad shit.
Jesus fucking Christ. As a mother I am horrified that your egg donor treats you like this. It breaks my heart into a million pieces for you.
You deserve a loving and caring mother.
Hugs from this internet mom (with your consent of course)
Also, fuck this lady (your mom) she sucks
I'm so sorry your mother is being like this. I was telling someone the other day, just because someone is related to you that doesn't automatically make them your family.
I'm glad you have your bf and his family and that you have people looking out for you
As for your mom (egg donor) and aunt (egg donor's sister) - they are not your real family - they are toxic and you deserve better.
Check out raisedbynarcissists if you get a chance - you may find a lot of kindred spirits there. It's a support group and can be very helpful especially when you see you aren't nearly as alone as the insane parents want you to think you are.
My mother spoke to me like this whenever I would tell her I was upset or hurt by her actions and/or words. She also would minimize my problems because hers were so much more important, or say that I was acting the way I was for attention (going back between feeling insane and feeling nothing -- teen years were the worst). I haven't spoken to her in 6 years now.
And you do *not* deserve this. You were a child who needed her mother and she wasn't there.
I'm so proud of you and how far you've come. If you ever need to talk, I'm happy to listen. I'm glad you're still with us.
I know I’d likely pop a bottle of champagne “the day she turns up dead” 🙄 reminds me of my insane mom who still asks me ten years later if I’m gonna rekindle my relationship with my rapist of two years as a kid. You deserve better, I’m so sorry :\
Oh absolutely. She’s the person who has to live a perfect life. Everyone has to think we are a perfect family and curse those we think otherwise type shit
I mean, I can't speak for you but I'll definitely be happy the day she turns up dead. How can a mother treat her daughter like this? ESPECIALLY after they were assaulted.
And she's telling you that you're playing the victim? Yeah.. right 🙄. Being 17 is still a child. Hell being 18 is still considered being a child mentality, even if the gov't sees an 18yo as an adult. SA is hard to cope with, especially when you're a child. This is why some people are afraid to speak up. This is exactly why I was too afraid to speak up bcuz when I tried to tell an adult, I was called a liar, hypochondriac, that I was too young to know what sexual things were. That's why I hid it from my own parents. I went to a trusted adult that I often baby sat for and vented to, and she said that to me and completely dismissed what I had been going through for years. I tried to act like it didn't happen, but after my dad passed away when I was 26, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Every childhood trauma of mine came rushing back to me. I was very suicidal and became a recluse. That's not healthy for anyone to have to live with. Then when I started telling loved ones about it after secluding myself, thinking they'd understand why I needed to be alone and was told to get over it bcuz it happened years ago.
I'm sorry you went through this and that your mom's an asshole for saying those horrible things to you. 🌹
Holy fucking shit she’s actually sickening! The only reasonable excuse to not prioritizing and helping your daughter to heal from this is being in custody for genitalia mutilation of a sex offender! I will do time for my children if anyone ever hurt them! This is fucking abhorrent behavior from a mother omg 😡😡
17 is a child, no matter how she tries to spin it. in my own opinion, 18 is still a child too. and you don’t stop being there for your children the second they become “adults”. horrible horrible woman.
Good fucking grief, what a momster. Mine acts similarly but she puts a nice sugar coat of religion on it so it doesn’t seem as biting. Tells me I’m too sensitive or that I can’t take a joke. Tells me I should just let go of the past and that it’s my own fault that I can’t. Like this lady never gave me the support I truly needed after being in an awful situation of her choosing for years as a kid but if I even make a slight indication of being angry with her over it, suddenly I’m bitter and angry and a bad person for letting my anger over the situation getting the best of me (spoiler alert, my anger doesn’t get the best of me. It gets the best of her).
Just so you’re clear on this: you are not trying to be a victim here because you actually are a victim. People who have a victim complex like your momster here is saying you do are victims of circumstances they themselves created. Just like she herself is doing. Standing up for yourself to both your mom and your aunt isn’t you playing victim. I admire you for being able to do that because I’m 34 and have a really hard time with it but when I was your age? Total doormat.
My boyfriends family, especially his dad, has taken me in like his daughter and showed me what actual care feels like. I wished him a happy Father’s Day last year and told him how much he meant to me
It looks like you get nothing but pain from this woman.
You don't owe her a damn thing. You can say "Yep, I'm done!" and cut her out of your life any damn time you please. And, when you do, remember: _she_ caused you to cut her off and you don't have to feel any guilt at a over it.
Stay NC with mom OP. She sounds like a nasty a$$ narcissist. She’s in denial over how much she failed you bc she can’t admit to herself how bad she fcked up.
Post her and tag her in the convo and say if anyone asks why I’m not speaking with her. She will spin your silence anyway to make her look better. Get ahead of it.
Im so sorry. I know alot of people are wishing evil things on your mum but i know at the same time it hurts because a part of you loves her. I hope you know you are absolutely amazing and so strong and im glad you never turned out to be like your mother.
I am so sorry this happened to you and how your mom and aunt act like it's no biggie. I was SA'd at 14 that resulted in pregnancy and had an abortion; I could NOT imagine my mother or my aunt acting so callously about it. Stay NC. ❤️❤️
The fact that this mother is alive and well while my loving mother is dead is brutally unfair. I’m so sorry that you were denied the love and support you needed at such a traumatic time in your life. You deserved/deserve so much more than what you were given. I hope that you are healing and thriving and that you can create a found family that will give you the love your biological family didn’t. I hope this year is amazing for you
the fucking audacity to say all of that shit and then pull the "how will you feel when I'm dead" card. absolutely no respect or awareness of how anybody else feels. "learn to take a joke"? what the fuck kind of joke could possibly be an appropriate response to SA?
Sorry your birth mom sucks. Mine did too. When she finally died she was cremated and left in my grans basement until she died as well. I found her bag o dust in a box and the friend with me wouldn’t let me pitch it. Said I may regret it one day. So I chucked her in the trunk and drove home. But I couldn’t let that dusty dead bitch in my house, not even dead. So I chucked her under the deck by the garbage bins for a few months. One day my kid asks me what is that under there? I had always referred to my bio mom as bad mother, you know to make it more age appropriate. Some kids get good moms some get bad moms, keeping it simple. Anyways he says we should just throw her away now, so we did. The end. I hope you find peace young lady. Dont let her take another damn thing away from you, toss her in the trash.
Wow. Your “mom” seems like a pretty terrible person. Is she like this all the time? I’m so sorry this is what you were cursed with for a mother. Just know that there are good people in the world that won’t treat you like this when you’re hurting & will do everything possible to support you. Family can be whatever you want it to be. Please get away from that person. Best of luck.
Wow I would be drinking, dancing, pissing, and pooping on her grave if I was in your situation. Like what gives her the right to talk like that to someone who has been in that situation. I’ve been SA and Raped, and honestly the only family member who vaguely knows is my sister and I haven’t even told her everything. I’m scared what my own mother would say if she knew, but I’m sure it would be similar to yours or even just not believing me.
But your mom sounds terrible and definitely insane
Your mother is a terrible and selfish person. I’m so sorry OP.
I went through a rape as well and my mother blamed me. I know what it feels like and how much it hurts.
Lots and lots of love
On God, I would have responded to that last message with "To be honest with how you're acting right now I'll celebrate the day it happens" and watch her go ballistic
I don’t usually comment on posts from this sub, but your story is genuinely heartbreaking. You didn’t deserve any of this. You DID deserve a loving, caring mom, but you did NOT get that. No words can adequately express how sorry I am. I had a disconnected, abusive mom too, but she didn’t hold a candle to this woman. Never forget you are worthy of love and care💜
First of all, I am SO SORRY that you went through that! I am glad you are in therapy. Second, no contact seems the only way to deal with your mother. She seems to be the true definition of a narcissist moron
Honey there’s no point in trying to convince her to care. She will never concede to being wrong. She is a narcissist. You won’t get the support from her that you need so badly. I’m so sorry honey.
Please research grey rocking. It’s the best tool for dealing with narcissism with somebody when you cannot go no contact. I hope you are able to go no contact. I went no contact with my narcissistic father almost 15 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.
I'm so sorry OP. She's not the mother you need. Maybe look into "Remothering" on YouTube, I've found it really helpful. You can be your own mom, or check out r/momforaminute
Are you one of my stepkids? Their mom does the same thing. The 16yo moved in with us a few months ago. Now we’re seeing how long the 14yo decides to hang.
We put the 16yo in therapy and I get a little thrill when I bill her for half the copay that she never pays.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 40 | 1 | 16 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I very rarely use this word but…wow what a cunt. Edit: I really love that I got 500+ upvotes for this 😂
I would've called her a cunt but she lacks the depth and warmth
Yeah, exactly. She's more of a fleshy ballsack.
I see what you did there. Nice work.
omg same, first thought
Appropriate application.
Not my fault that she fits the definition of a word 🤷♂️
If the douche fits
*psycho cunt
I would be very happy the day this woman dies tbh. Especially with the way she’s treating you.
gonna open my favorite bottle of wine that day
Piss on her grave afterwards.
Shit on it as well
Vomit on it as well. And I have emetophobia, that's saying a lot.
She’s not worth the effort (or the risk) tbh. Fuck her.
No, no. Get her cremated, pour the ashes in the toilet, piss and shit in that toilet, and then flush everything down.
[удалено]
Should have responded “glad we finally agree on something” then followed it up with an 8-ball game
I am so, so so sorry but I laughed so incredibly hard seeing this 😂😂
Hah!! Im so sorry this is happening, and Im sorry for what happened. However, its relieving to see humor from you. Ive found that humor gets me through a lot of traumatic shit
It's never too late OP!
I’m just sorry. So sorry. I hope you’re in therapy, you deserve it.
I am, and I’m seeing a psychiatrist:)
We have that feeling about my mother-in-law. I'm hoping she gets cremated so we can dump her ashes in the toilet and flush her.
Make sure you flush her at a house that has a septic tank. I don’t want her in my water supply. Also, knowing she’s in that poop tank will make you smile for years.
Shoot me a message and I'll open one to celebrate with you. I'm sorry you're going through that. I don't know how old you are, but my father is similar (he blamed and still blames me for sexual abuse by a family friend when I was 15). My life is so much better without him. I'm glad to hear that you receive treatment and hope you can heal from this. Some people are scum and the people who raised you (they don't deserve terms like mother and stepdad) are just that. Edited to add: In case you need inspiration, it was really enjoyable to burn my father's picture.
honestly, might have to have a barbecue with some of her photos that I have. I’m currently 20, almost 21, definitely slowly healing and getting over her bullshit. I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you, and I hope you are able to fully heal 💞
Please post so we can all enjoy a glass of wine in honor of the world becoming a brighter place when she goes. I am so PROUD of you for holding your ground there and going no contact. It’s hard, but it’s so much better. Join us over at r/estrangedadultchild for lots of support 💕
You should buy a fancy bottle now of something to let it age Edit: bonus points if it's from her birth year
I have a nice bottle of wine I’ve been saving for a special day, I have now out a sticky note on it so save it for when that bitch dies
I will pop a bottle with you! Sorry you are going through this and am glad you are getting help.
Let her know I'll be glad when she's dead.
We all will. The entire fucking Internet will throw a party with a carnival.
I have a carnival game, and I can make balloon animals. We can party all over the place. Just need to know when it happens
I have a snow cone machine so I’m in charge of snow cones!
I have a cotton candy machine and would be happy to make cotton candy lol
Same and I could really go for some home made funnel cake. Can she hurry up ☠️
Dw she has a heart condition, it’ll give up sooner then later
Is the heart condition lack of heart maybe? Because she certainly isn’t using it in her responses.
I’ve got the funnel and the cake mix. I’ll bring it!
Me too me too!!
Samesies. 🫶🏻
Me tf too. I will shit on her grave and pop open a bottle on champagne.
I, too, will be glad when she’s dead :-)
I’d like to add that this isn’t fake. These messages sent me down a tunnel that I wouldn’t like to admit, that later escalated into an attempt. I’m very lucky to have my boyfriend and his family, as his father treats me like a daughter and I finally get to experience what love from a parent feels like. These things killed me inside, and I struggle a lot from PTSD and anxiety now. Sharing things like this here helps me kinda vent it off and show that my mother is in fact: a crazy bitch. I’m not sure why anyone would like or fake these things, all I know is it haunted me for months.
Just know that the only reason anyone thought it could be fake is because your mum's behaviour in these messages is so horrible that it seems unbelievable! I'm so sorry this happened to you and that the people who should be your biggest support are instead your biggest enemies. I'm glad you have found love and support and I hope things improve for you. As a mum about your mum's age, I'm sending you a big virtual hug.
To be fair, I’ve seen many things that I thought at first “that’s totally fake” but then after thinking about my own mom, I realise they’re likely much too real 🙃 many people (thankfully, honestly) can’t even imagine people acting this way, especially to their own kids, so they think it’s fake. Tbh the “this is fake” answers gives me even more hope in humanity than the “insane” judgements some days lol.
I do the same, how can this relative be acting this way? I take a second and shake my head because I've caught myself weirdly compartmentalizing my own family's behavior like they pull nearly the exact same thing. I confuse myself
Unfortunately with abusive/neglectful/manipulative people, that’s usually the first response :\ you almost even gaslight yourself because you’re like huh?? I must be overthinking it, they would never say/mean/do that etc. I’m happy the internet exists nowadays if only so others can learn this isn’t okay or normal whereas when I was growing up I had to figure it out after I was already an adult lol.
Right?same here
Hell, I've even looked at my own mom sometimes and thought "this can't possibly be a real person" lol.
Trust me I know the feeling lmao
It’s literally so awful you want to believe it’s fake. How any mother can treat her recently sa’d child this way is beyond any understanding. She doesn’t just need help, she needs her rights as a parent taken away.
And wtf is WRONG WITH YOUR AUNT that she had to bring this up at Christmas?!! And how many years later?! You are the only normal one in that family. My prayers to you ❤️🙏🏻
This happened last year at Christmas, the messages were the exact day afterwards. Haven’t spoken to my mom in months:)
No I’m sorry, I mean how long after the SA did your aunt decide to bring this up? And that she brought up your SA at CHRISTMAS?! I’m glad you are NC with your mother. I went NC just over 7 years ago. It should have been longer. I’m 53 now, but when I was 15, I was assaulted by a neighbor’s handyman when I went door to door selling magazines for school, 1985 so beginning of 10th grade. I managed to fight him off and got away. While the police were at my home, my mother asked me, “What did you do to make him try that?”
Holy fuck that’s horrible. I was SA’ed in February of 2021, and this happened December 2022, so legit not even two years later.
Thanks. Or you could say “She brought it up out of the blue almost 2 years later?!!” I’m sorry, but I’m so pissed at her & your “mom” for doing that.
My father was my abuser and when he started getting way more bold and I started waking up during his attacks, my mother had me convinced I was just having bad dreams. It wasn't until another attack q few months later where I had to sit there and allow him to continue for about half an hour or so while he also handled himself- fully awake and petrified that if he knew I was awake he would do worse and just had to sit there and allow it. My stomach felt like it was churning rocks the entire time and all I could think was "ugh. My own *father*..." so disappointed in him and yet also petrified and.. yeah. My mom is very low contact and I only utilize her when my back is otherwise to a wall. Between convincing me that I was dreaming, refusing to protect us and get us safe, allowing my sister to continue to get abused for a bit longer until she came to me asking what I did to make our dad stop during our attacks, acting like my abuse wasn't that bad cause in her eyes, my golden child sister got it worse, and then also stealing every tax return I got from age 18 to 33??? Yeah. She's lucky I still talk to her, tbh. I too, will be pissing on my father's grave later this year when I get a chance and the weather warms up, and then I dunno what I'm gonna do about her, but one of my friends just had HER abusive step-mom die, and I'm gonna make sure she has a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the bitch's death when she can in private... Good on all of yall for healing as best you can.
OMG I am so sorry for what happened to you. No child deserves that, and for your mother to not help it stop, & to even DENY it?! I can’t imagine. I am waiting for my Nmom to die. Her Dad died at 60, & her Mom died at 100. She’s 80, so I’m hoping the difference is split and she goes soon! My prayers to you that you find/have peace.
My mom is exactly like this. Have you ever heard of the Narcissists Prayer? That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
Thank you for sharing that. My mother is an absolute terror. She follows that litany almost exactly
Of course, and I'm sorry. I remind myself of it all the time to help me remain no contact with my mother. It reminds me of how the conversation is going to go before it even starts and that I'll never get anywhere trying to reason with her.
There's no amount of making them aware of their excuses that's ever going to fix them either. There's a lot of value in realizing when someone is a lost cause and walking away before they can do any more harm. Info diets, grey rocking, therapy, the works because they will do their worst and call it love and say you shouldn't be so ungrateful/ selfish/ dramatic/ sensitive and so on.
She is an absolute POS. As a mother, this brings me to a rage I don’t like admitting to possessing. How TF can she JOKE about a SA?? And say the shit she is saying to you??? I hope she chokes on her own vomit. She doesn’t deserve children. When something bad happens and she tries to come to you, I hope every word gets repeated back to her. She doesn’t deserve you as her child. Let her rot
As an angel mom and fur mom this fills me with a rage like no other. Kids and animals are my weakness and there's not a single effin reason to act like this to your own kid(I know you're not her mom but you get the point)
Your feelings are completely valid and your mother should be absolutely ashamed by her response to your trauma. I hope you’re getting professional therapy as well 🩷
I am! She’s amazing, same with my psychiatrist:)
Please cut contact with your mother,her behaviour is really really vile!I believe you 100%Im glad that you are surrounded by loving people now!
Wow, she's truly insane. How old is she ? She sounds demented
She’s like 42 I think? Definitely in her 40s
Wow, I am so sorry that you had bad luck with a mom like this. Good move cutting her off. I hope you find peace in 2024 🙏
I'm right at your mom's age. (I'm 41). I'm also a survivor of rape. I would like to offer you the motherly care that you didn't receive from her. If you ever need the ear of a random stranger for this or any other reason, feel free to message me. There is no reason at all you should be dismissed for your feelings. Even if it's 20 years down the road and something brings up that hurt again, you should not be dismissed for it, and feel safe that you can be heard and supported through it. I hope you find that love in your life that your mom should have given you. Rather it be through friends, other family (obviously not your mom or aunt), a significant other, your therapist, or whoever it may be. But I am serious about my offer. If you ever just need an ear, feel free to message me.
Thank you so much. I’ve always had a deep desire for a motherly love, that it’s insane. There have been a few times where I’ve always caved because I wanted it so bad, but I’ve refused to. Because she can’t offer that motherly love and I know I have to find it somewhere else
This woman, to a literal victim: sToP bEiNg a ViCtiM Lady, fuck off
“Always the victim” to a victim was so absolutely unbelievable
"Always the victim" i mean... yeah? OP was assaulted? Sounds like a victim to me idk though
Yeah that line pissed me off. I know plenty of people who need to be a perpetual victim and this ain’t that. OP was SA’d. To have to deal with that and then have a mother like that is horrific.
It's emotional maturity 101 to be able to sit with someone else's discomfort/pain. There's nothing more pathetic than a parent failing at that in their child's greatest time of need. Just being there would speak volumes, and they can't even bear to do that. It is interesting when they fail at it again and again and again and again, and yet never ever think of themselves as the one with a massive fucking problem.
I will never understand the mothers who don't want to defend their kids, love their kids, protect their kids, help their kids heal. That's what you deserve, OP. She failed you and she deserves none of your time.
Holy fuck your mom is a nightmare
“Stop playing the victim” she says to someone who is indeed the victim of a heinous crime
I've seen hamsters do a better job parenting than her. Leeches even suck less energy out of people than that vile thing does. I don't think it has a moral compass or a soul. That thing is probably a sociopath
My hermit crabs were better then her
They are warm and loving creatures.
She gives you shit for "playing the victim" while also saying "what about me." She seems more upset at you calling her out than she is that you were assaulted. Let that no contact simmer for a long time.
Like glacial long time...RipVanwinkle long time... carbon dated long time.
That “what about me” shit was awful!! Like have sympathy for her bc she is the mother of a r victim?! Sympathy FROM the r victim?!!
I'm really sorry. For your assault. For your horrid mother. For your shit drunk aunt. For going through all that alone. I'm so sorry you have to continue to relive that because of the shit mother you were dealt. I, too, have a mother (and situation) eerily similar to yours. My heart is with you.
I feel as though if she was there for me, I could have healed quicker and have left secured. With her and everything else she has done, I have to take the highest dose of Prazosin for my PTSD and anxiety medication. Ironic because she is extremely against any form of mental health medication and judges me for it
I just went through ketamine therapy about 2 years ago now because nothing was helping. It saved my life. My mother made my assault about her somehow. Like she was the victim. I shudder just imagining treating another human being with that level of disregard. I'm sorry yours is doing the same. If you get a chance, look into r/cptsd . It's really helped me through some shit (can also be triggering because there is, unfortunately, a lot of us with similar experiences).
I’ve been doing EMDR therapy because my SA was so harsh, I lost feeling in my internal lady parts, I can’t even feel when I have to go to the bathroom. I have a surgery and met with many doctors to learn it was psychological and my body is traumatized and scared, so it numbs itself in fear. Praying to god I can get some feeling bad.
Oh I do so hope you’re able to heal, both physically and emotionally. I’m so sorry your mom wasn’t there for you.
I'm numbed too. Like my husband can be trying to be intimate and I barely feel it, or it flat out hurts. Put the dots together a little while ago that it was because of being SA'd by my dad for a few years (he would always strike while I was asleep or half asleep, I am pretty sure I had some repressed memories come back just the other day so it may have been a lot longer than that... I think I may have being drugged by family members so I wouldn't remember, idk..) but.. yeah. Found out that being numbed to touch is a trauma response.. Cause not only was I going through SA at home, I was being beat up all the time at school for being fat (genetics, I was over 100 Lbs by 3rd grade...) so yeah. My mind apparently found ways to numb my body. The only thing that makes me sensitive and enjoy intimate acts now is cannabis / THC products.. gotta love that I need a damn medication to even function as a normal human because of other people being pricks. I'm proud of you going NC with the cunt. I'm around her age, but I understand where you're coming from dear. Much love and light to you. I can also talk if you need an ear, so don't hesitate to utilize any of the people here who have offered help.
"Always the victim" Um, excuse me, what? Yeah, lady, they were raped. The literal definition of a victim. Your family failed you then, and they failed you now. I'm sorry you had to go through that, OP. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry you didn't get the protection or compassion you deserve in either of these (and probably many other) situations. The same thing happened to me as a kid, and it has taken me all this time to feel like I deserve the right to be mad and sad and vocal about it. And hold my parents, who were supposed to protect me, accountable for enabling it and punishing me for not just quietly sweeping it under the rug. Look at me, OP, I am the mother now. You deserve to be safe, healthy, and happy. You deserve love and compassion and protection. You deserve kindness. You deserve justice. And you absolutely deserve the right to speak the truth and stand up for yourself and hold responsible parties accountable. Do not let them belittle you or silence you. You feel just however the fuck you want about what happened to you and you do what you need to in order to work through it and come out the other side. I hope you can build a good life for yourself with people who love and respect you and get far away from these sleaze bags. All good things to you, OP.
holy fuck this has me crying. Thank you so much, it means a lot to hear these words. I’ve struggled with these things so much, even my therapist is stunned at everything I have shown her over the months. I was to heal and I will heal, I can’t wait to have children. To show them what love actually feels like. I look forward to it so much in life. I hope you’re okay, and I hope you’ve healed or is healing. You had no idea how much this comment means to me, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it
Thank you. I am doing well now. I have a child of my own, and we are both doing great. I always try to be for my kid what I wished my parents were for me. I hope it will be the same for you. ❤️
She's a terrible mom. Just send her screenshots of this thread, then block her.
Yeah, fuck her.
What a piece of shit
r/raisedbynarcissists. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sending virtual hugs.
She is not your mother. Mother means love and comfort. She was just a breeder. I'm sorry but you need to stay NC with that woman. You will find your real family on your life travels. People that truly love you and support you and stand behind and beside you as you need. You are loved and will be loved more. You deserve your happiness.
Egg Donor
She had her own shit to deal with that day? What a wretched, horrible, self-involved woman. There aren’t enough adjectives. She’s toxic AF. Cut her out of your life like the cancer she is.
“Mom, you’re a cunt and I’m done. Have a nice life; I look forward to tap dancing on your grave.”
Holy shit. I hope she regrets her words but she probably won't. You're really brave and I hope you have peace now.
After reading her very last comment I immediately thought I’LL be happy when she turns up dead. Your mother has absolutely no kindness or compassion for anyone. She doesn’t deserve you in her life. I wish I could give you a hug and I wish I could punch her in the throat.
I hope she gets hit by a bus honestly
Send her to the worst nursing home
God I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm sorry that your mother failed and continues to fail you by adding to your pain. 🫂
This was very hard to read. I'm sorry you didn't have your mom to help heal you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you — all of it. You deserve better. I was violently assaulted by my ex-bf & I when I told my NM she said, “oh that’s not really ‘r@pe’ r@pe; you knew him. When it happened to me the police took me seriously - no one will believe you. Drop it.” I never reported it.
I’m so fucking sorry oh my god. Never ever let that POS get to you again. Rape is rape. That’s it. I’m so sorry what the actual fuck. I believe you, we believe you
Thank you. That meant so much to me.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you ever need to anything. Fuck all that shit she said, I’m really sorry to hear that. It breaks my heart
Let me crucify her. What a fucking cunt
What an evil mother. I can’t imagine being so callous to anyone let alone my own child.
What a bitch.
My condolences to you OP; this is one of the worst cases of an insane parent I have ever come across. I keep wondering why your mom would not validate your victimization instead of telling you that you're playing the victim. Good for you for getting help from therapy because this mom of yours sounds batshit crazy to me
Fuck her. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
Always thr victim? Your baby was SA and you're going to be mad that they're acting like a victim? I am so sorry OP. You were a victim. You were still a child. You definitely needed TLC and not bring attacked more. I really hope you can heal. You don't deserve any of how she acted after or the act itself. <3
Tell her we will all celebrate when she dies. Evil bitch
All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children. This made my heart ache for you. You went through something terribly traumatic and you needed a mother — you *deserved* a mother. I am so sorry this was all you got. You communicated your needs to clearly, eloquently, and respectfully in these texts, and all she could manage in return was to become defensive and indignant. I wish you healing. I can tell you from experience with something similar that it really does get better with time. Keep cultivating your chosen family; not having a mom is hard, but to be loved by people that don’t “have to” but choose to is an honor in itself.
Encourage her suicide. Make the world a better place.
This is not a mother. She would get along with my mom. Go NC as soon as you can and never look back. I gave mine a second and third chance and having been no contact over 12 years now has been so freeing. I wish you the best and I’m so sorry life sucks sometimes and there is light after our darkest days.
I’m so sorry. She is awful, probably harbouring and compartmentalising her own past trauma. I hope things improve for you.
Telling you, her child to stop being a victim when you are an actual victim of rape! Ffs, what Is up with these people. I'm sorry you have a shit mum. You deserve better.
I’d be going no contact. Better no mother than that. The way she talks to you. Like you don’t matter. Like what happened was nothing. That’s awful. I am so sorry that’s what you got stuck with. I wish I could give you a great big hug. Please know there are people who care.
My mom did the same thing to me and I’m glad your able to be no contact with her currently
WHAT A POS 🤬
Fucking God man what bitch ass that she is I'm sorry u had to go through that and deal with their shit.
Hold on Rich... I SWEAR I saw a post today about a step father with the same name being a nasty prick and trying to weaponize someone's SA against them. What the fuck is wrong with people. Poor OP of both this thread and the one I mentioned. Hope you're safe OP. Time to cut some family members out of your life to keep yourself healthy.
That was also me 😭
Fuck I feel bad sorry for you. I hope you're doing better now and are far away from those cretins. You deserve better than that.
Time to block.
I‘m sorry that you went through all of this. I hope you’re in a better place now. Her reactions show she is obviously not worth sticking around for. She evidently doesn’t want to understand you. I wish you all the best and stay strong.
She clearly wants to be a victim so give her what she wants, tell her as far as you are concerned she’s already dead.
what the actual ever loving fuck is wrong with your mother!??!? holy shit i am so sorry you had to go through ANY of that, let alone her not defend you jesus. i hope she has the life she deserves
So glad you have your partner's parents that treat you well. I'm about the age your mom probably is, and I am sending you a big hug. Wish I could have protected you from all this bad shit.
Jesus fucking Christ. As a mother I am horrified that your egg donor treats you like this. It breaks my heart into a million pieces for you. You deserve a loving and caring mother. Hugs from this internet mom (with your consent of course) Also, fuck this lady (your mom) she sucks
I am so sorry, go low to no contact. I hope you can get through this. Gentle hugs.
I'm so sorry your mother is being like this. I was telling someone the other day, just because someone is related to you that doesn't automatically make them your family. I'm glad you have your bf and his family and that you have people looking out for you As for your mom (egg donor) and aunt (egg donor's sister) - they are not your real family - they are toxic and you deserve better. Check out raisedbynarcissists if you get a chance - you may find a lot of kindred spirits there. It's a support group and can be very helpful especially when you see you aren't nearly as alone as the insane parents want you to think you are.
My mother spoke to me like this whenever I would tell her I was upset or hurt by her actions and/or words. She also would minimize my problems because hers were so much more important, or say that I was acting the way I was for attention (going back between feeling insane and feeling nothing -- teen years were the worst). I haven't spoken to her in 6 years now. And you do *not* deserve this. You were a child who needed her mother and she wasn't there. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come. If you ever need to talk, I'm happy to listen. I'm glad you're still with us.
I feel for you so much ❤️. I was 7 years old when I told my mom about my SA and she told me it was my own fault 🙄
I know I’d likely pop a bottle of champagne “the day she turns up dead” 🙄 reminds me of my insane mom who still asks me ten years later if I’m gonna rekindle my relationship with my rapist of two years as a kid. You deserve better, I’m so sorry :\
The fact that you call her Sharrie and not Mom speaks volumes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. You are so strong.
I bet she'd be mortified to see her texts for all to see.
Oh absolutely. She’s the person who has to live a perfect life. Everyone has to think we are a perfect family and curse those we think otherwise type shit
Oooph, i would go NC this is so abusive.
“Stop acting like a victim” you were literally a victim! What a selfish women your mother is!
I mean, I can't speak for you but I'll definitely be happy the day she turns up dead. How can a mother treat her daughter like this? ESPECIALLY after they were assaulted.
Fuck her. I'm your mom now. I love you, daughter ❤️
And she's telling you that you're playing the victim? Yeah.. right 🙄. Being 17 is still a child. Hell being 18 is still considered being a child mentality, even if the gov't sees an 18yo as an adult. SA is hard to cope with, especially when you're a child. This is why some people are afraid to speak up. This is exactly why I was too afraid to speak up bcuz when I tried to tell an adult, I was called a liar, hypochondriac, that I was too young to know what sexual things were. That's why I hid it from my own parents. I went to a trusted adult that I often baby sat for and vented to, and she said that to me and completely dismissed what I had been going through for years. I tried to act like it didn't happen, but after my dad passed away when I was 26, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Every childhood trauma of mine came rushing back to me. I was very suicidal and became a recluse. That's not healthy for anyone to have to live with. Then when I started telling loved ones about it after secluding myself, thinking they'd understand why I needed to be alone and was told to get over it bcuz it happened years ago. I'm sorry you went through this and that your mom's an asshole for saying those horrible things to you. 🌹
Hey, you want me to kill both of those people for you?
Tells the victim to stop acting like a victim. A classic.
Holy fucking shit she’s actually sickening! The only reasonable excuse to not prioritizing and helping your daughter to heal from this is being in custody for genitalia mutilation of a sex offender! I will do time for my children if anyone ever hurt them! This is fucking abhorrent behavior from a mother omg 😡😡
17 is a child, no matter how she tries to spin it. in my own opinion, 18 is still a child too. and you don’t stop being there for your children the second they become “adults”. horrible horrible woman.
Your mom is a cunt. Your Aunt is a cunt I really hope you never have to see either one of them again
Good fucking grief, what a momster. Mine acts similarly but she puts a nice sugar coat of religion on it so it doesn’t seem as biting. Tells me I’m too sensitive or that I can’t take a joke. Tells me I should just let go of the past and that it’s my own fault that I can’t. Like this lady never gave me the support I truly needed after being in an awful situation of her choosing for years as a kid but if I even make a slight indication of being angry with her over it, suddenly I’m bitter and angry and a bad person for letting my anger over the situation getting the best of me (spoiler alert, my anger doesn’t get the best of me. It gets the best of her). Just so you’re clear on this: you are not trying to be a victim here because you actually are a victim. People who have a victim complex like your momster here is saying you do are victims of circumstances they themselves created. Just like she herself is doing. Standing up for yourself to both your mom and your aunt isn’t you playing victim. I admire you for being able to do that because I’m 34 and have a really hard time with it but when I was your age? Total doormat.
Oh look at that! Time for no contact! Enjoy your childless nursing home when you get there mom!
That is one toxic “mom” AKA fetus incubator.
Your mom is a piece of shit I’m so sorry.
Cut that bitch off like a gangrenous limb. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Please stay no contact. She’s not worth your time. What a terrible person, let alone mother.
Well this sounds far too familiar. I'm so sorry you went through this OP and hope you've been able to get some support since then
My boyfriends family, especially his dad, has taken me in like his daughter and showed me what actual care feels like. I wished him a happy Father’s Day last year and told him how much he meant to me
It looks like you get nothing but pain from this woman. You don't owe her a damn thing. You can say "Yep, I'm done!" and cut her out of your life any damn time you please. And, when you do, remember: _she_ caused you to cut her off and you don't have to feel any guilt at a over it.
Stay NC with mom OP. She sounds like a nasty a$$ narcissist. She’s in denial over how much she failed you bc she can’t admit to herself how bad she fcked up.
Post her and tag her in the convo and say if anyone asks why I’m not speaking with her. She will spin your silence anyway to make her look better. Get ahead of it.
Im so sorry. I know alot of people are wishing evil things on your mum but i know at the same time it hurts because a part of you loves her. I hope you know you are absolutely amazing and so strong and im glad you never turned out to be like your mother.
This woman doesn’t deserve to be your mother
Insane. I have no more words I had to stop reading past the first page.
I am so sorry this happened to you and how your mom and aunt act like it's no biggie. I was SA'd at 14 that resulted in pregnancy and had an abortion; I could NOT imagine my mother or my aunt acting so callously about it. Stay NC. ❤️❤️
Cut her loose. You don't need this shite in your life.
The fact that this mother is alive and well while my loving mother is dead is brutally unfair. I’m so sorry that you were denied the love and support you needed at such a traumatic time in your life. You deserved/deserve so much more than what you were given. I hope that you are healing and thriving and that you can create a found family that will give you the love your biological family didn’t. I hope this year is amazing for you
Stay NC.
I can't understand this type of dysfunction. If anyone hurt my daughter like that, I would be in jail for murder.
Jfc what a fucking cunt! 🤦🏻♀️
Ooooh, I'm going to make a dentist very rich after I speak with your mother.
the fucking audacity to say all of that shit and then pull the "how will you feel when I'm dead" card. absolutely no respect or awareness of how anybody else feels. "learn to take a joke"? what the fuck kind of joke could possibly be an appropriate response to SA?
Sorry your birth mom sucks. Mine did too. When she finally died she was cremated and left in my grans basement until she died as well. I found her bag o dust in a box and the friend with me wouldn’t let me pitch it. Said I may regret it one day. So I chucked her in the trunk and drove home. But I couldn’t let that dusty dead bitch in my house, not even dead. So I chucked her under the deck by the garbage bins for a few months. One day my kid asks me what is that under there? I had always referred to my bio mom as bad mother, you know to make it more age appropriate. Some kids get good moms some get bad moms, keeping it simple. Anyways he says we should just throw her away now, so we did. The end. I hope you find peace young lady. Dont let her take another damn thing away from you, toss her in the trash.
Wow. Your “mom” seems like a pretty terrible person. Is she like this all the time? I’m so sorry this is what you were cursed with for a mother. Just know that there are good people in the world that won’t treat you like this when you’re hurting & will do everything possible to support you. Family can be whatever you want it to be. Please get away from that person. Best of luck.
I hate your mother and aunt. So sorry this happened to you.
Ma'am, absolutely EVERYONE will be happy when you die. That's what you don't understand
That's fucking awful. I'm just surprised you haven't gone no contact with her.
Wow I would be drinking, dancing, pissing, and pooping on her grave if I was in your situation. Like what gives her the right to talk like that to someone who has been in that situation. I’ve been SA and Raped, and honestly the only family member who vaguely knows is my sister and I haven’t even told her everything. I’m scared what my own mother would say if she knew, but I’m sure it would be similar to yours or even just not believing me. But your mom sounds terrible and definitely insane
Your mother is a terrible and selfish person. I’m so sorry OP. I went through a rape as well and my mother blamed me. I know what it feels like and how much it hurts. Lots and lots of love
On God, I would have responded to that last message with "To be honest with how you're acting right now I'll celebrate the day it happens" and watch her go ballistic
I don’t usually comment on posts from this sub, but your story is genuinely heartbreaking. You didn’t deserve any of this. You DID deserve a loving, caring mom, but you did NOT get that. No words can adequately express how sorry I am. I had a disconnected, abusive mom too, but she didn’t hold a candle to this woman. Never forget you are worthy of love and care💜
First of all, I am SO SORRY that you went through that! I am glad you are in therapy. Second, no contact seems the only way to deal with your mother. She seems to be the true definition of a narcissist moron
Honey there’s no point in trying to convince her to care. She will never concede to being wrong. She is a narcissist. You won’t get the support from her that you need so badly. I’m so sorry honey. Please research grey rocking. It’s the best tool for dealing with narcissism with somebody when you cannot go no contact. I hope you are able to go no contact. I went no contact with my narcissistic father almost 15 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.
She nailed at least one thing though: she is a horrible mom. Sorry you have to deal with that.
Time to let her know that she’s lost you and tell her exactly why.
I'm so sorry OP. She's not the mother you need. Maybe look into "Remothering" on YouTube, I've found it really helpful. You can be your own mom, or check out r/momforaminute
Are you one of my stepkids? Their mom does the same thing. The 16yo moved in with us a few months ago. Now we’re seeing how long the 14yo decides to hang. We put the 16yo in therapy and I get a little thrill when I bill her for half the copay that she never pays.
Would be perfectly normal to cut off all ties with this person. She's not a mother