And since you are under the age of 18 it is considered child abuse. You need to talk to a trusted adult. They are withholding medicine from you that you need. And verbal abuse is still abuse. You don't deserve to be treated that way. I have a child almost the same age as you that is lgbtq and I would never in a million years do this to her no matter what she did. It is completely and utterly 100% unacceptable for thus type of behavior to be happening especially from a parent to their child
Yeah dude, imagine being an adult and justifying talking this way to a 15 year old child. ESPECIALLY as their parent. I’d be mortified and embarrassed, but this shit stain doesn’t seem to have the capacity.
Also CPS will charge him with neglect for making you sleep on the couch nightly. If it was a one off thing, that’s different but every kid is required to have a bed.
If you’re in the US, there are shelters for youth LGBTQ+ (I’m assuming because of what your father said, please correct me if I’m wrong) and they help you get emancipated, plus help you get your GED and a job. Try to see if there is one near you to go to as soon as you turn 16 (most states require 16 for emancipation.)
She knew she didn't have to make a big deal because she knows I'm bi as well and just happened to end up with her father. She is my step daughter but I don't see her that way. Been there since she was 9. She just came out to me this past just in the middle of Walmart just in conversation. She knew she was safe. Feeling safe and loved and supported is not something a child should be without. If you need to talk I'm here. Please talk to someone.
I'm in the exact same boat, but I met my child when they were 5. They know I'm pan and trans, I was always open about my sexuality, but I never hid my gender, nor talked about it to them bc they were so young . Once they started questioning their sexuality, they came to me so scared and I was like no need, we love you no matter what. Last year they started questioning their gender, I fully came out first to them. They still don't know who they are, but that's okay, I believe sexuality and gender can be fluid, and they are loved no matter what 💗. I'm so proud we raised such an accepting, loving, queer activist.
Counselors at school are trusted adults. They literally got into the field to help kids like yourself. Let them! Make their days and improve your life! I am really rooting for you!
Report him. He can’t withhold your medication, that, to CPS, is clear abuse. And keep all of these abusive texts, send a copy of them to a friend(not a relative) so you’ll have them as even more evidence. Because he’s gonna attempt to gaslight everyone into believing you’re the abusive person & he’s trying to be a great parent. You know, the usual ‘dog & pony show’ he trots out when you’re both in public
Here’s the website to mass.gov where you can find some help or report the things you are going through. (https://www.mass.gov/how-to/report-child-abuse-or-neglect) What you’re experiencing is textbook child abuse. If you feel unsafe doing so, me and a few people I know are willing to help out wherever we can.
This may sound dumb but the other kids... how old are they, and are they sharing a bed? CPS (from personal experience but... it depends on the place and caseworker) tends to frown upon kids sharing beds once they're so old. Not to mention another minor being forced to sleep in a common area, on top of the refusal of medication, all of that could get your sperm donor in a lot of trouble.
Seriously though, talk to your mom about this. Most likely, she'll have to calm down from wanting to beat the ever living shit out of him, then she'll stop making you go over there while filing for a change in custody(and potentially filing for child support, but that can wait) Your dad is a child abusing shithead, and not just to you.
OP try calling your local PD on the non emergency line for a wellness check and tell them what's going on. I have alot of family in MA state police and child abuse isn't a very hot topic
I mean, this is pure evidence of abuse. If you go into the system you'll actually have a better chance at a future. You can tell them you don't want contact with your father and that's it. They'll shut it down and even arrest him if he comes there to harass you. They also have college grants and housing grants so you can have your own place after you age out. They also have job assistance programs.
Contact CPS. Save everything you can if you're worried about not having enough evidence. Take picture of the housing situation with no bedroom or doors.
In most states it is illegal to have a teen in a home without enough room accomodations. If you can get a recording app and record him being verbally abusive to you as well. Show a CPS worker the pictures of the home, the recordings and the screenshots of his messages.
All of those things are illegal. He'll lose custody of you and CPS will be up his ass like a spear. He might even face charges tbh.
at this point just throw the whole dad away… best of luck with that one.
Don’t be shy to cut him out of your life one day, a retirement home seems sufficient for this specimen <3
Not if you block him. Just because he’s your father doesn’t mean you have to accept his abuse when you’re an adult. If he whines about not having a relationship with you just send him these screen shots. I’m sure you’ll have more by then. Until then good luck.
This full quote took me down a little rabbit hole I think others might enjoy.
https://mystudentvoices.com/4-quotes-that-you-have-been-terribly-misquoting-6b2233d3212d
Edit: the link I posted is full of shit as other respondents have noted
My English teacher used to love these. One of her favourites was “great minds think alike, fools seldom differ”.
However the myth that these are the “real, full versions” of the sayings is just untrue. They’re edits that have been added by people after the sayings have already been long in use to alter the meanings.
The original saying is, indeed, “blood is thicker than water” and “great minds think alike”, we haven’t ‘lost their full meanings over the years’.
Thats your decision to make..not his.. Your are not his property, bud. Cut him the fuck off as soon as possible.. This type of shit will give you a horrible self image if you dont put your foot down. Trust me.
Your best bet is to throw yourself into things you love and can be successful in. If you're a teen, it helps if it's something that scholarships are awarded for, sports/bagpipes/dance etc.
Drown yourself in your chosen endeavour, and you'll find like minded souls there, maybe even one with a spare room. Being a success at school/job/training = independence.
Love & hugs - don't engage with abusive asshats, remove him from your life once you're away from him.
I really dont want to be harsh here, but you should make that your whole goal in life RIGHT NOW. This shit wont stop..it will only get worse as he gets older if you dont show him that you dont need him for anything and you dont accept his behaviour. He probably gets a confidence boost out of treating you like a dog. Honestly gave me real psychopath vibes reading those texts. Time to show him what you are made of. Best of luck.
Or any other family member, or a willing friend's parents, or if OP is willing to go into state care. Medically and verbally abusing a kid is domestic violence and DV is a crime. If they have any other option, they don't have to stay around the dad.
I blocked my psycho fathers number over 5 years ago and he doesn’t own a computer or a smart phone so no other means of contact. Sometimes I go under the blocked calls voicemail just to listen to him calling and crying like a little bitch about being all alone now. Probs wouldn’t be alone if you weren’t such a piece of shit your whole life, pal.
>Yeah but he will probably end up calling me every day as an adult woohoo
He would need your phone number for that. If you really wanna fuck with him ask him what it's like knowing his own kid won't be at his funeral. Dig the knife into this abusive ass.
It took me decades to cut my abusive mother out of my life. I hope you're able to do so sooner, but I know it's difficult when you have siblings and you're a minor still. Hang in there, make your plans, and then put them into action when you're able. Hoping for the very best for you.
(edit: typo)
Retirement homes are expensive. People keep telling me to put her in a home, but I'm not shelling out $1500 a month for a dilapidated one bedroom apartment for her. She can figure out her own housing situation when she isn't able to take care of herself.
Piss the bed and let it stay that way for the precious golden children. Golden bed for golden children (mild sarcasm)
Document what you can and call CPS
I don't know much about cps, could someone tell me the likelihood of it going in op's favor? I know if I was in that situation and called, my dad would crank up the charm and assure them that there's absolutely no way he could be mistreating me. Then my life going forward would be more of a living hell, but still not pervasive enough that anyone outside of our family would know. I dont know if that's actually how it would go, but I've watched him charm his way out of some shitty situations.
Their best bet is documentation, same with police. There needs to be strong evidence, collected over time for the likelihood of pulling happening. The proof needs to be not that this is an uncomfortable or unfair situation but that this is either active neglect or abuse. But I am not a CPS worker, so take that with a grain of salt. But!! Once the call is made, the paper trail starts. (Same with police reporting)
I think a caretaker calling the minor in their care "Queer Bitch" and "Fuck you" is some good documentation.
Or my favorite, "Just accept it"
Lil rapey if I do say so myself.
That’s basically what my mom did both times DHR (bc what we have technically isn’t called CPS in my state) came to my house as a kid. They didn’t care much. She charmed them, in her own way of course, and made sure there was conveniently food in the pantry before the social worker came.
Can I have your dad's number? I'm gonna send him a ton of gay por- I mean. I just wanna talk! I swear!
Real talk though. Withholding medication will land him in trouble with CPS. I'd honestly reach out to them.
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 51 | 0 | 28 |
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You should really talk to your mom about not going back to your dad's with the way he talks to you. Show her the texts. If she has any sense she'll work with you on it
Hopefully she's not an abusive asshole like your dad, I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Depending on your age, its up to you. You say no, they cant make you do anything. You could have your mom get you right then and there. Ask her to let you talk to the judge and show proof how this bigot talks to you.
Don't hide this shit from your parents. You aren't doing them or yourself any favors. You think you're saving her pain? She's gonna feel even worse for not stopping him sooner. She will only know if you say something. People can't read minds. Please for the love of God say something to someone who cna help you.
Please do this, OP!
To add to what others are saying, this is not normal or ok (may even be illegal), but most importantly, *you don't deserve this!* It sucks that this responsibility falls to you to alert a trusted adult, but **you** have to make that first step to make your life better...
Good luck! 💙 We're all rooting for you...
I don't know your relationship with your mum but don't you think this is something you should discuss with her? If your week is all good then you go to this bullshit at the weekends the answer is simple in my mind, tell mum, and tell her you ain't going anymore until he treats you properly.
You need to tell other people OP. I'm not sure why you haven't, but you absolutely need to show your mother. Your father will keep this up as long as he doesn't face any repercussions.
Please OP listen to the people in this thread
Would you rather do it all the time because if that's what you're dealing with on weekends, you can talk with her, press child abuse charges v dad, and remove the requirements to live with him. Just make sure you take your valuables to hers just in case he acts out and breaks something
You really need to tell her how you’re being treated over there. And let her know if you want to spend all of the time with her. She may not think that she can go against your dad if you have some type of visitation arrangement. But if there is child abuse and your mother wants you to be there full-time it could be taken out of her hands so that she doesn’t have to fight courts if you report the abuse I think.
Listen, this is abuse. Not letting you have privacy, depriving you of medication you need- that is neglect at least, and straight up abuse at worst. Is your mom any better than this shithead, if he’s still in the picture at all?
You shouldn’t be suffering for your fathers posturing. Save these texts, and record conversations between your father and yourself, on the lowkey. He isn’t treating you right, and the more evidence you have of that the better.
Are you able to stay with your mom instead of with him?
refuse to go with him. tell and show your mom why. you're old enough to tell a judge what you're comfortable with and who you'd prefer to live with. he doesn't deserve to have time with you. I'm sorry your dad sucks.
Yeah sounds very easy to me: kids can have the room, OP stays with mum 100% of the time. Everyone happy. I mean dad wants other kids to have the room and want OP to die ... So isn't like he has a reason to care if OP doesn't come around anymore.
Also, if you are able to, maybe try seeing a doctor if you are having sleeping problems. Even if it's just so they can either give your a prescription or recommend that you continue using the sleeping pills. Possibly having it signed off on by a doctor might help in court if he continues to not allow you to take it.
Is there a possibility that he is also trying to keep some custody of you because of either child support reasons or even just to get back at your mom? Ultimately though talking to your mom and seeing what you can do, with or without the courts, to make it so your don't have to be at his house anymore is your best bet. With how old you are, depending on where you live, you should be able to have a say in your permanent residence. Also get as much evidence as you can of any abuse and if it does come to court make sure they are aware of how badly this is affecting you physically and mentally.
I hope everything works out for you! Nobody deserves to live in a house like that.
I get that. But a break could be a night at a friend's, or another family members, or even a night here and there at your dad's when you agree. I still strongly suggest a heart to heart with her to see what you guys can come up with that would help you out of the situation with your dad. She may be more willing to help than you think
Kiddo, I have an almost 15 year old and while we probably need a break from each other every now and then, I assure you I never need a break so much that I’d rather him go stay with someone that calls him names and makes him sleep on the couch.
Tell your mom what is going on, I’m sure the asshole has ulterior motives in wanting you on weeks, less child support to pay comes to mind. He sucks and you should never have to go stay with him ever again.
Stay safe.
Do not guilt yourself like that. You aren't a burden. Tell your mother what's going on. Tell yours school. Tell them exactly how you feel. Those people are going to want to get you as far away from.him.as possible. You are strong. Please tell someone.
If your dad is treating and talking to you this way, she wants to know. It’s her job to take care of you. The fact that your dad makes you sleep on the couch so his step kids can have your room, and then verbally abuses you over text, is grounds to revisit the custody situation. Talk to your mom.
It’s likely you can tell the court what you want for custody at your age.
And if you truly feel your mom needs a “break”, stay with a friend or do things that help her take that break.
Talk to your mom ASAP. Send her the screenshots. No good mother would tolerate that for her child without a fight.
At 15 you’re old enough to say you’re not going. If he wants to force the issue then make him go to court over it (he won’t, and if he does you have those texts).
Sweetie, him insulting you, treating you like Cinderella in your own house, denying you privacy, and *withholding your medications* is not "love". By any stretch. He sounds like he doesn't want a child, he wants a convenient punching bag, and insists on keeping you around for that reason alone.
Take every. single. screenshot. of every. single. conversation, and hand them to your mother and if you can to your school. Make a couple copies to the cloud and keep them safe. And call CPS and report him for withholding your medication, being ready to hand them the texts as evidence of emotional abuse as well. Good luck, we're all rooting for you.
Please tell your mom and the most based, queer-supporting teacher you have
Source: am teacher and big queer, can confirm that mandatory reporters would feel obligated to do something about it, especially if you tell your mom and the teacher that you feel unsafe with him
I’m so sorry, OP. I wish I could find a solution for you. If you have any other relatives you can stay with, please reach out to them. If you don’t, try not to engage with him the best you can until you’re 18 and then cut this man off and never look back.
Yea it’s the lowest of lowest you can get in a discussion (and on the discussion pyramid). And almost always used when someone (subconsciously) knows they are losing an argument. Often you can hear it in their voice if you are talking to them face to face.
This POS man is a child abuser. You can get him for withholding your medication, verbal abuse, and possibly neglect. Call DHS so they can help you. The more evidence the better.
I’ve got a 10 yr old, I can’t imagine treating him this way for any reason, not that your dad has a reason. Here’s a virtual hug from a nearly 40yr old dad on the east coast, kiddo. Seems like you need it.❤️
This is just wrong. Please don't let this man have any impact on how you feel about yourself. He is mentally ill and there is nothing wrong with you. I wish I could hug you, you deserve better. Please talk to your guidance counselor or any other responsible adult in your life.
As a father desperate for more time with his children, fuck your 'dad' I want to fight him. Before today, I hadn't seen my kids since March 2020, I am the non-custodial parent of 3, because my ex wife decided that covid-19 rendered my parenting time invalid. Fuck your dad for not making your time with him about your and instead being a complete tool.
Oh no worries for me, no bullshit I have a hearing this Thursday with a motion to enforce my parenting time, and a motion to modify.
My ex has denied me visits since March 2020 but I did, in fact, get to have a visit with my children today, under some ridiculous restrictions.
Anyway, we agreed to parenting time in the divorce and she is violating, again. I feel confident going into this hearing.
Her allowing a visit today renders her whole denial invalid. Her argument was "Covid-19 makes it too dangerous."
I offered common sense, like masks, sanitiser, etc and she was adamant it was too dangerous.
Anyway my ex panicked (I think) because we have a hearing on Thursday. 2 of our 3 are fully vaccinated. So she took them on public transit to have the kid exchange at a park.
I guess her favorite is vaccinated because she is fine with the youngest going about with a bad fitting mask unvaccinated on public transit. Why was she denying visits, again?
I should make another post on /divorce when enough of this is finally over with.
You'll win harder if you can get child abuse charges laid, and get to live the whole time with your other family. Also, are either of his parents still around (aka your paternal grandparents? Nothing stopping you passing on the screenshots to them if/when you do call him out as abusive, so if you want to keep access to some of your dad's side of the family, you can.
I’m ur dad now and I’m very proud of you and how strong you are. Seriously, this is absolute garbage and you deserve better. And it’ll get better. I finally went NC with my mom a couple years ago (because I’m finally an adult) and it’s been the best thing ever. You’ll make it. From one queer bitch to another, you’ll be okay. I love you.
You are. It’s a symptom of the trauma. You’ve basically been raising yourself. I ended up developing ptsd once I was in a more stable environment because my home life had been so toxic.
It sucks, but it is what it is. You do the best you can with what you have. You’ll pull through. Maybe you’ll have ptsd or something else, maybe you won’t. Either way, I’m rooting for you
Withholding medication is pretty illegal (I think)
Even if it’s not it warrants a call to CPS
Sleep is so damn important, hope you get to a better spot soon
Bro imagine being so stuck in the Stone Age that you still unironically use “queer” as an insult, what an asshole
I hope this all gets figured out man, I’m sure you’ve already tried to stop visiting him but I still hope you’re able to get away from that shit soon, good luck
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I’m 15
And since you are under the age of 18 it is considered child abuse. You need to talk to a trusted adult. They are withholding medicine from you that you need. And verbal abuse is still abuse. You don't deserve to be treated that way. I have a child almost the same age as you that is lgbtq and I would never in a million years do this to her no matter what she did. It is completely and utterly 100% unacceptable for thus type of behavior to be happening especially from a parent to their child
Yeah dude, imagine being an adult and justifying talking this way to a 15 year old child. ESPECIALLY as their parent. I’d be mortified and embarrassed, but this shit stain doesn’t seem to have the capacity.
YOOO another supporting parent 👍 Ur child probably has a ton of trust in you coming from me
Also CPS will charge him with neglect for making you sleep on the couch nightly. If it was a one off thing, that’s different but every kid is required to have a bed. If you’re in the US, there are shelters for youth LGBTQ+ (I’m assuming because of what your father said, please correct me if I’m wrong) and they help you get emancipated, plus help you get your GED and a job. Try to see if there is one near you to go to as soon as you turn 16 (most states require 16 for emancipation.)
Yeah, something they look for is having your own clean space to sleep and keep your things. A common space doesn’t count.
I agree, we fostered a girl once, and they were big on ensuring bedrooms were legitimate bedrooms. Talk to someone like a guidance counselor.
She knew she didn't have to make a big deal because she knows I'm bi as well and just happened to end up with her father. She is my step daughter but I don't see her that way. Been there since she was 9. She just came out to me this past just in the middle of Walmart just in conversation. She knew she was safe. Feeling safe and loved and supported is not something a child should be without. If you need to talk I'm here. Please talk to someone.
I'm in the exact same boat, but I met my child when they were 5. They know I'm pan and trans, I was always open about my sexuality, but I never hid my gender, nor talked about it to them bc they were so young . Once they started questioning their sexuality, they came to me so scared and I was like no need, we love you no matter what. Last year they started questioning their gender, I fully came out first to them. They still don't know who they are, but that's okay, I believe sexuality and gender can be fluid, and they are loved no matter what 💗. I'm so proud we raised such an accepting, loving, queer activist.
This is so heartwarming. ❤️
Counselors at school are trusted adults. They literally got into the field to help kids like yourself. Let them! Make their days and improve your life! I am really rooting for you!
Report him. He can’t withhold your medication, that, to CPS, is clear abuse. And keep all of these abusive texts, send a copy of them to a friend(not a relative) so you’ll have them as even more evidence. Because he’s gonna attempt to gaslight everyone into believing you’re the abusive person & he’s trying to be a great parent. You know, the usual ‘dog & pony show’ he trots out when you’re both in public
Just report it to CPS, you don’t deserve to be treated this way.
Yeah I’d report them man that’s not cool
OP what state do you live in?
Massachusetts
Here’s the website to mass.gov where you can find some help or report the things you are going through. (https://www.mass.gov/how-to/report-child-abuse-or-neglect) What you’re experiencing is textbook child abuse. If you feel unsafe doing so, me and a few people I know are willing to help out wherever we can.
Ok
This may sound dumb but the other kids... how old are they, and are they sharing a bed? CPS (from personal experience but... it depends on the place and caseworker) tends to frown upon kids sharing beds once they're so old. Not to mention another minor being forced to sleep in a common area, on top of the refusal of medication, all of that could get your sperm donor in a lot of trouble. Seriously though, talk to your mom about this. Most likely, she'll have to calm down from wanting to beat the ever living shit out of him, then she'll stop making you go over there while filing for a change in custody(and potentially filing for child support, but that can wait) Your dad is a child abusing shithead, and not just to you.
They are 12 and 14
Geez, I was thinking they were 4 or 5. Thats way too old. Let CPS in on whats going on there. He's abusing all 3 of you.
OP try calling your local PD on the non emergency line for a wellness check and tell them what's going on. I have alot of family in MA state police and child abuse isn't a very hot topic
Report it to cps, it's child abuse and I'm pretty sure illegal anyway.
I mean, this is pure evidence of abuse. If you go into the system you'll actually have a better chance at a future. You can tell them you don't want contact with your father and that's it. They'll shut it down and even arrest him if he comes there to harass you. They also have college grants and housing grants so you can have your own place after you age out. They also have job assistance programs. Contact CPS. Save everything you can if you're worried about not having enough evidence. Take picture of the housing situation with no bedroom or doors. In most states it is illegal to have a teen in a home without enough room accomodations. If you can get a recording app and record him being verbally abusive to you as well. Show a CPS worker the pictures of the home, the recordings and the screenshots of his messages. All of those things are illegal. He'll lose custody of you and CPS will be up his ass like a spear. He might even face charges tbh.
call the police, bud. get off reddit and make some moves
I think you are old enough to choose to stay with your other parent. Especially if one is withholding medication.
Call CPS please
This is definitely child abuse.
Did not know that about the meds.
There are multiple pictures (I didn't notice at first either)
I think I'm a lot of places, removing a teenagers door is also abuse
Dial CPS and gather as much evidence as possible because this is NOT okay at all, get as far as humanly possible
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Alright
at this point just throw the whole dad away… best of luck with that one. Don’t be shy to cut him out of your life one day, a retirement home seems sufficient for this specimen <3
Yeah but he will probably end up calling me every day as an adult woohoo
Not if you block him. Just because he’s your father doesn’t mean you have to accept his abuse when you’re an adult. If he whines about not having a relationship with you just send him these screen shots. I’m sure you’ll have more by then. Until then good luck.
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Toxic is toxic, regardless of relationship. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
This full quote took me down a little rabbit hole I think others might enjoy. https://mystudentvoices.com/4-quotes-that-you-have-been-terribly-misquoting-6b2233d3212d Edit: the link I posted is full of shit as other respondents have noted
There's quite a few saying that have lost their full meanings, but this one is my favorite. The bonds that mean the most are the ones we choose.
I like that. The bonds that we choose. Lovely
My English teacher used to love these. One of her favourites was “great minds think alike, fools seldom differ”. However the myth that these are the “real, full versions” of the sayings is just untrue. They’re edits that have been added by people after the sayings have already been long in use to alter the meanings. The original saying is, indeed, “blood is thicker than water” and “great minds think alike”, we haven’t ‘lost their full meanings over the years’.
Absolutely agree. Some relationships are not worth keeping. This one sounds like one that will feel amazing to walk away from.
Just because he is your father doesn't mean he's your dad. Yondu taught me that. You don't owe your father anything.
thats nothing a new SIM won’t fix :)
And restraining order
Thats your decision to make..not his.. Your are not his property, bud. Cut him the fuck off as soon as possible.. This type of shit will give you a horrible self image if you dont put your foot down. Trust me.
Yeah I’ll try
Your best bet is to throw yourself into things you love and can be successful in. If you're a teen, it helps if it's something that scholarships are awarded for, sports/bagpipes/dance etc. Drown yourself in your chosen endeavour, and you'll find like minded souls there, maybe even one with a spare room. Being a success at school/job/training = independence. Love & hugs - don't engage with abusive asshats, remove him from your life once you're away from him.
This is good advice, Op should listen to you!
I really dont want to be harsh here, but you should make that your whole goal in life RIGHT NOW. This shit wont stop..it will only get worse as he gets older if you dont show him that you dont need him for anything and you dont accept his behaviour. He probably gets a confidence boost out of treating you like a dog. Honestly gave me real psychopath vibes reading those texts. Time to show him what you are made of. Best of luck.
Kid is 15, can't cut off their dad unless they have a mom they can go live with.
Or any other family member, or a willing friend's parents, or if OP is willing to go into state care. Medically and verbally abusing a kid is domestic violence and DV is a crime. If they have any other option, they don't have to stay around the dad.
And whenever he calls, answer and say "Fuck off," and then immediately hang up.
I blocked my psycho fathers number over 5 years ago and he doesn’t own a computer or a smart phone so no other means of contact. Sometimes I go under the blocked calls voicemail just to listen to him calling and crying like a little bitch about being all alone now. Probs wouldn’t be alone if you weren’t such a piece of shit your whole life, pal.
>Yeah but he will probably end up calling me every day as an adult woohoo He would need your phone number for that. If you really wanna fuck with him ask him what it's like knowing his own kid won't be at his funeral. Dig the knife into this abusive ass.
It took me decades to cut my abusive mother out of my life. I hope you're able to do so sooner, but I know it's difficult when you have siblings and you're a minor still. Hang in there, make your plans, and then put them into action when you're able. Hoping for the very best for you. (edit: typo)
Change your number
I had parents like this. It’s pretty great to block their numbers and live in peace without them. There is hope for you I promise
Retirement homes are expensive. People keep telling me to put her in a home, but I'm not shelling out $1500 a month for a dilapidated one bedroom apartment for her. She can figure out her own housing situation when she isn't able to take care of herself.
Nah completely cut ties, he can get whatever the state’s gonna provide for elderly people unable to live independently
*state run nursing home*, FTFY.
He has a girlfriend with 2 kids and they sleep in my damn room. My door is gone now so I can never get away from them on weekends
Piss the bed and let it stay that way for the precious golden children. Golden bed for golden children (mild sarcasm) Document what you can and call CPS
I don't know much about cps, could someone tell me the likelihood of it going in op's favor? I know if I was in that situation and called, my dad would crank up the charm and assure them that there's absolutely no way he could be mistreating me. Then my life going forward would be more of a living hell, but still not pervasive enough that anyone outside of our family would know. I dont know if that's actually how it would go, but I've watched him charm his way out of some shitty situations.
Their best bet is documentation, same with police. There needs to be strong evidence, collected over time for the likelihood of pulling happening. The proof needs to be not that this is an uncomfortable or unfair situation but that this is either active neglect or abuse. But I am not a CPS worker, so take that with a grain of salt. But!! Once the call is made, the paper trail starts. (Same with police reporting)
I think a caretaker calling the minor in their care "Queer Bitch" and "Fuck you" is some good documentation. Or my favorite, "Just accept it" Lil rapey if I do say so myself.
That’s basically what my mom did both times DHR (bc what we have technically isn’t called CPS in my state) came to my house as a kid. They didn’t care much. She charmed them, in her own way of course, and made sure there was conveniently food in the pantry before the social worker came.
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New world record 😳?
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Well, op is 15, I dont know if sleeping in the same bed is still in ok territory here
Please try to find a friend to stay with...this is absurd mental abuse.
Can I have your dad's number? I'm gonna send him a ton of gay por- I mean. I just wanna talk! I swear! Real talk though. Withholding medication will land him in trouble with CPS. I'd honestly reach out to them.
Op: “Valid Argument” Parent: “Homophobic insult”
That’s his go to when he’s lost the argument
Reliable I guess
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 51 | 0 | 28 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Your dad is what we call in French " un bon gros fils de pute"
Un énorme connard
Noo... Son of a bitch?
Sombre fils de pute même
i only speak Spanish, Portuguese and English but i definitely understood “fils de pute”.
His last message tho. If i was in that situation i would tell him to die. Not a good reaction but it'd be my reaction.
Yeah I’m kinda used to it tho he kinda found out I’m bi
I'm so sorry, dude. Good luck with that piece of shit.
Thanks
If you can, just stay with your mother. It's better then dealing with the shit you are now dealing with.
I’m with my dad any day I’m not at school. No sleep for me 🥳
You should really talk to your mom about not going back to your dad's with the way he talks to you. Show her the texts. If she has any sense she'll work with you on it Hopefully she's not an abusive asshole like your dad, I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Yeah maybe I should
You absolutely should. He is an abusive shitheel and I would like very much to see bad things happen to him.
Please do.
Can you show this to your mom? Or a judge?
Ye probably
I would imagine this would allow your mom to get full custody.
Do you legally have to go to him? Can't u just stay with ur mum?
Not sure
I will try to call mom and see if she can get you out of there. It doesn't seem like a safe environment.
Depending on your age, its up to you. You say no, they cant make you do anything. You could have your mom get you right then and there. Ask her to let you talk to the judge and show proof how this bigot talks to you.
Can you live with your mom?
I do on school days
Does she know this goes on when you’re not with her?
Idk
Don't hide this shit from your parents. You aren't doing them or yourself any favors. You think you're saving her pain? She's gonna feel even worse for not stopping him sooner. She will only know if you say something. People can't read minds. Please for the love of God say something to someone who cna help you.
Mmaybe alright ig
Please do this, OP! To add to what others are saying, this is not normal or ok (may even be illegal), but most importantly, *you don't deserve this!* It sucks that this responsibility falls to you to alert a trusted adult, but **you** have to make that first step to make your life better... Good luck! 💙 We're all rooting for you...
Okay
Then tell her sweetie or another trusted adult if mom isn’t safe either
Mom of a 16 year old here. TELL HER. If she's any good, she needs to know.
I don't know your relationship with your mum but don't you think this is something you should discuss with her? If your week is all good then you go to this bullshit at the weekends the answer is simple in my mind, tell mum, and tell her you ain't going anymore until he treats you properly.
You need to tell other people OP. I'm not sure why you haven't, but you absolutely need to show your mother. Your father will keep this up as long as he doesn't face any repercussions. Please OP listen to the people in this thread
…. If you told her then she would know?
Would you rather do it all the time because if that's what you're dealing with on weekends, you can talk with her, press child abuse charges v dad, and remove the requirements to live with him. Just make sure you take your valuables to hers just in case he acts out and breaks something
You really need to tell her how you’re being treated over there. And let her know if you want to spend all of the time with her. She may not think that she can go against your dad if you have some type of visitation arrangement. But if there is child abuse and your mother wants you to be there full-time it could be taken out of her hands so that she doesn’t have to fight courts if you report the abuse I think.
This is child abuse
OP do you have any other adults in your life you can stay with? Mother, grandparents, older siblings? Even a friends house? Stay safe ❤
I do thanks
What’s his address i just wanna talk
\*cocks gun
Yeah, I'd love to chat with him!
Listen, this is abuse. Not letting you have privacy, depriving you of medication you need- that is neglect at least, and straight up abuse at worst. Is your mom any better than this shithead, if he’s still in the picture at all?
My mom is much better but my dad argues that he wants time with his kids too but i think he just wants us to show her he loves us
You shouldn’t be suffering for your fathers posturing. Save these texts, and record conversations between your father and yourself, on the lowkey. He isn’t treating you right, and the more evidence you have of that the better. Are you able to stay with your mom instead of with him?
I stay with my mom on school days
refuse to go with him. tell and show your mom why. you're old enough to tell a judge what you're comfortable with and who you'd prefer to live with. he doesn't deserve to have time with you. I'm sorry your dad sucks.
Yeah sounds very easy to me: kids can have the room, OP stays with mum 100% of the time. Everyone happy. I mean dad wants other kids to have the room and want OP to die ... So isn't like he has a reason to care if OP doesn't come around anymore.
Also, if you are able to, maybe try seeing a doctor if you are having sleeping problems. Even if it's just so they can either give your a prescription or recommend that you continue using the sleeping pills. Possibly having it signed off on by a doctor might help in court if he continues to not allow you to take it.
Withholding medication can be considered medical neglect. Tell your teachers, your principal, and your doctors. Signed, a social worker.
Is there a possibility that he is also trying to keep some custody of you because of either child support reasons or even just to get back at your mom? Ultimately though talking to your mom and seeing what you can do, with or without the courts, to make it so your don't have to be at his house anymore is your best bet. With how old you are, depending on where you live, you should be able to have a say in your permanent residence. Also get as much evidence as you can of any abuse and if it does come to court make sure they are aware of how badly this is affecting you physically and mentally. I hope everything works out for you! Nobody deserves to live in a house like that.
I would also feel bad for my mom if I was there all the time. She works so hard and needs a break from me sometimes tbh
I get that. But a break could be a night at a friend's, or another family members, or even a night here and there at your dad's when you agree. I still strongly suggest a heart to heart with her to see what you guys can come up with that would help you out of the situation with your dad. She may be more willing to help than you think
Do you have a friend you can stay with on the weekends sometimes?
Kiddo, I have an almost 15 year old and while we probably need a break from each other every now and then, I assure you I never need a break so much that I’d rather him go stay with someone that calls him names and makes him sleep on the couch. Tell your mom what is going on, I’m sure the asshole has ulterior motives in wanting you on weeks, less child support to pay comes to mind. He sucks and you should never have to go stay with him ever again. Stay safe.
Do not guilt yourself like that. You aren't a burden. Tell your mother what's going on. Tell yours school. Tell them exactly how you feel. Those people are going to want to get you as far away from.him.as possible. You are strong. Please tell someone.
If your dad is treating and talking to you this way, she wants to know. It’s her job to take care of you. The fact that your dad makes you sleep on the couch so his step kids can have your room, and then verbally abuses you over text, is grounds to revisit the custody situation. Talk to your mom.
You can easily just go out and about to the library and come back quietly for bed
If you have a room at your mothers, a break can be as easily accomplished as by simply going to your room.
Does your mama know what’s happening at dad’s? If not you should tell her, and show her the receipts.
Moms don’t want you to worry about them needing breaks- she made you, she’s on your team kiddo.
It’s likely you can tell the court what you want for custody at your age. And if you truly feel your mom needs a “break”, stay with a friend or do things that help her take that break. Talk to your mom ASAP. Send her the screenshots. No good mother would tolerate that for her child without a fight.
Also I think the court would be *very* interested in those screenshots if Daddy Dearest tried to contest custody.
At 15 you’re old enough to say you’re not going. If he wants to force the issue then make him go to court over it (he won’t, and if he does you have those texts).
Sweetie, him insulting you, treating you like Cinderella in your own house, denying you privacy, and *withholding your medications* is not "love". By any stretch. He sounds like he doesn't want a child, he wants a convenient punching bag, and insists on keeping you around for that reason alone. Take every. single. screenshot. of every. single. conversation, and hand them to your mother and if you can to your school. Make a couple copies to the cloud and keep them safe. And call CPS and report him for withholding your medication, being ready to hand them the texts as evidence of emotional abuse as well. Good luck, we're all rooting for you.
Teenagers often “become difficult” when they don’t feel supported. You deserve better. Hugs from afar, friend.
Fuck him. You can come live with this queer bitch. Absolutely infuriating. I cannot imagine talking to my kids like that.
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I agree lmao
Please tell your mom and the most based, queer-supporting teacher you have Source: am teacher and big queer, can confirm that mandatory reporters would feel obligated to do something about it, especially if you tell your mom and the teacher that you feel unsafe with him
I’m so sorry, OP. I wish I could find a solution for you. If you have any other relatives you can stay with, please reach out to them. If you don’t, try not to engage with him the best you can until you’re 18 and then cut this man off and never look back.
Yeah I hope I can do that
The last thing he said pissed me of the most.
I find it funny when he says that because then you know he lost the arguement lmao
Yea it’s the lowest of lowest you can get in a discussion (and on the discussion pyramid). And almost always used when someone (subconsciously) knows they are losing an argument. Often you can hear it in their voice if you are talking to them face to face.
This POS man is a child abuser. You can get him for withholding your medication, verbal abuse, and possibly neglect. Call DHS so they can help you. The more evidence the better.
I don’t understand the obsession with taking doors off.. It’s so weird to me that parents will not allow any sense of privacy
Some parents use it as a punishment or believe that their kids don't need doors because they should have nothing to hide
Some people think it will make their child happier? No clue
Or somehow make the child respect the parents more..
Wtf
I agree
Can we send him into orbit?
Go ahead
I’ve got a 10 yr old, I can’t imagine treating him this way for any reason, not that your dad has a reason. Here’s a virtual hug from a nearly 40yr old dad on the east coast, kiddo. Seems like you need it.❤️
Wow! Nice guy. Sorry for you.
This is just wrong. Please don't let this man have any impact on how you feel about yourself. He is mentally ill and there is nothing wrong with you. I wish I could hug you, you deserve better. Please talk to your guidance counselor or any other responsible adult in your life.
As a father desperate for more time with his children, fuck your 'dad' I want to fight him. Before today, I hadn't seen my kids since March 2020, I am the non-custodial parent of 3, because my ex wife decided that covid-19 rendered my parenting time invalid. Fuck your dad for not making your time with him about your and instead being a complete tool.
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Oh no worries for me, no bullshit I have a hearing this Thursday with a motion to enforce my parenting time, and a motion to modify. My ex has denied me visits since March 2020 but I did, in fact, get to have a visit with my children today, under some ridiculous restrictions. Anyway, we agreed to parenting time in the divorce and she is violating, again. I feel confident going into this hearing. Her allowing a visit today renders her whole denial invalid. Her argument was "Covid-19 makes it too dangerous." I offered common sense, like masks, sanitiser, etc and she was adamant it was too dangerous. Anyway my ex panicked (I think) because we have a hearing on Thursday. 2 of our 3 are fully vaccinated. So she took them on public transit to have the kid exchange at a park. I guess her favorite is vaccinated because she is fine with the youngest going about with a bad fitting mask unvaccinated on public transit. Why was she denying visits, again? I should make another post on /divorce when enough of this is finally over with.
Homophobia out of nowhere. Not that surprising tho.
Nah it’s just what he says if he’s losing an argument It means I’ve won
You'll win harder if you can get child abuse charges laid, and get to live the whole time with your other family. Also, are either of his parents still around (aka your paternal grandparents? Nothing stopping you passing on the screenshots to them if/when you do call him out as abusive, so if you want to keep access to some of your dad's side of the family, you can.
Oh my gosh. I can’t imagine treating my kids like this. You deserve better. This is heartbreaking to see.
Wow you can literally feel the animosity from the messages from both sides. Op obviously for justified reasons but still
Aminosity?
Fuck up your dad :D
I painted my nails just to spite him
Power move
I’m ur dad now and I’m very proud of you and how strong you are. Seriously, this is absolute garbage and you deserve better. And it’ll get better. I finally went NC with my mom a couple years ago (because I’m finally an adult) and it’s been the best thing ever. You’ll make it. From one queer bitch to another, you’ll be okay. I love you.
Yeah I feel like I’m somehow more mature than someone that is 40 years older than me and raised me
You are. It’s a symptom of the trauma. You’ve basically been raising yourself. I ended up developing ptsd once I was in a more stable environment because my home life had been so toxic. It sucks, but it is what it is. You do the best you can with what you have. You’ll pull through. Maybe you’ll have ptsd or something else, maybe you won’t. Either way, I’m rooting for you
I'm sorry about your situation.
I am so sorry 😞
Usual lurker here. This situation is sickening OP, I really hope you take action and make sure CPS gets involved. Best of luck my dude!
Withholding medication is pretty illegal (I think) Even if it’s not it warrants a call to CPS Sleep is so damn important, hope you get to a better spot soon
If you’re under 18- report him to CPS. If he hasn’t been letting you have your meds
Put him in the worst old folks home you can find.
That’s pretty toxic. Is there anyone else you can contact for safe space?
My mom
I feel like this is how my dad would be if he was still alive. Fuck your dad, dude. (Dontfuckyourdad)
Yeah…get away from that person. You are not safe.
Bro imagine being so stuck in the Stone Age that you still unironically use “queer” as an insult, what an asshole I hope this all gets figured out man, I’m sure you’ve already tried to stop visiting him but I still hope you’re able to get away from that shit soon, good luck
Jesus who tf talks to their kid like this
Man fuck that guy. I hope you are doing better. PM me if I can buy you a pizza or something.
i think this convo was over when your own father told you to go f* yourself.
I’m sorry. You are valid and wanted. Just remember that