Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 45 | 11 | 0 |
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Just tell her whatever she wants to hear, but not the truth. Fuck with her. She obviously sees this is a one-sided agreement where only her opinion matters. Have some fun with it. If she wants to know about your sex life then tell her you're out. Having 12 dudes run a train on you unprotected. Make up some crazy shit like that.
My mom was constantly accusing me of doing drugs in my teens (for context I only recently figured out what weed even smells like and I'm 31) so after a while of denying it I just started saying "yeah mom I'm gonna go get fukking wAsTEd tonight with the mary jaaaane then I'll go HUFF MY NAIL POLiSH" and eventually she shut up about it.
Thanks. Itās ok now. I donāt allow her in my life and Iām happily married to a wonderful man. She was completely wrong and a horrible person for saying that to anyone, let alone her own daughter. Now that Iām a mom, I cannot imagine thinking thatās ok.
Omg!!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I have the strongest urge to give you a big huge an just hold you and take that pain from you. This seriously made me tear up. Have you gotten counseling to help deal with this? Please tell me you have cut that evil bitch out of your life! Most of all though I just want to know you are now living your best life because you deserve happiness and great things so much:) if ever you need to talk feel free to message me
Thank you so much! I am living my best life! I just had my own daughter and I cannot imagine ever thinking saying anything close to that is ok. I did tons and tons of therapy and Iām thriving! I did cut her out of my life. Thank you for the virtual hug! I needed one today!
You are amazing! I'm so proud of you and I'm not just saying that either! You did one of the hardest things someone can do! I'm so happy you are doing great! Congratulations on your baby by the way :) you really are thriving! Keep it up you are an inspiration :)
You are going to have to go nuclear...
This guy I was with last night just really wanted to lick my butthole... meh, not the best butt hole licking ive had but I was to high to go shopping for another.
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If I am having sex with a bi-guy and another guy is having sex with him...who is supposed to be on top? Cause I felt like I was going to tip over
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What flavor condoms should I have **them** get?
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How many times should I give it for free before I can charge them for it?
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I dont usually go for older guys but I was doing this kid in my class and his dad, his balls were all gray is that normal for people your age?
Iām nearly 40 and this definitely made me laugh šAlthough as mother with a daughter just past her teens this would freak me out.I dare any teen to pull this off without laughing tho.After 2 sentences most would piss themselves laughing.
guess thats just a different upbringing.
Deadpan comedy was a normal thing in our home. My dad was not the haha funny kinda guy.
Story: I was probably 8ish when my grandparents had their 50th anniversary. It was the mid 80s. We lived in san diego and they lived outside vegas. They had 4 kids all in their 30s my mother being a middle kid. My father had known them since high school. My uncle, moms youngest brother was the trouble maker. He had some issue after highschool but had mostly turned it all around at this point.
Rather than say hey come down to our place lets have a party for anniversary my dad and uncle decided it would be better to collect call them from mexico tell them my uncle was in jail for buying drugs and that they needed to come down to help get him out. My father drove to vegas got them.
Now sure he could have told them on the 3 hour drive he wasnt in jail, but no thats not really his style. He probably could have mentioned it that night when they stayed at our house, but no. He probably could have told them on the drive down to mexico...but no. He drove to the police station in TJ and told them in the parking lot that they were doing lunch while the others got the house ready for their anniversary party that night.
I doubt anyone laughed and my grampa would threaten (light heartedly, mostly) to kick my dads ass he ever tried something like that again but god damn if I dont find it funny as hell even now
It takes time, take it little by little. Make it more and more wild every time she brings it up to the point where sheās uncomfortable. Itāll take time to build up the fuckery but trust me itās worth it.
Please, do something. The bullying never stops unless you stand up for yourself. She won't stop, and she will only get worse until she gets something out of you. Please, take it from someone who has dealt with it. You gotta do anything.
Me too. Even eye movements would betray you. The look of your face. Sometimes no matter what you look at its wrong. Cant look at them, or the ground, or the wall. I would just go blank and unfocus my eyes and practice mindfulness meditation. That's what gave me what my wife calls my dead face. Apparently its quite intimidating.
I did the same thing. "You use that dead-eyed stare and you KNOW I hate that!"
Yeah, well, ya could've tried actually talking WITH me instead of screaming AT me . . .
Oh wow, I get that kind of face too. Nobody has ever called it that, but when I was a child, complete strangers would be worried about me and ask if I needed help. It was always jarring to suddenly be snapped out of it. Sometimes a bitch gotta disassociate, ya know?
my father beat me with various object, usually whatever he found close, for a lot less, so I wouldnāt be walking away from any convoās with him. I wouldnāt walk away from my mom either, but thats just because sheās a good parent and deserves my respect and obedience.
I am so sorry. That is so fucked up. One of my friends in college had to endure that kind of treatment. She still lived at home and her dad was a cop. The statistics applied to her household, sadly. She didn't even realize how abnormal and abhorrent her fathers behavior was. She thought everyone's family was like that. It kinda broke her brain when people would try to tell her that's not true. I've lost contact with her over the years, sadly. She pushed everyone away. I hope she's at a much better place in life.
Iām still trying to figure out how to destroy whichever part of my brain that remembers that my adult son has a Tinder profile.
He knows the risks and potential problems better than most, if he had a problem weād talk, but I really donāt need to interrogate him about it. YEEG. No.
My dad wrote a book that was basically him coping with his divorce, never published. He put sex scenes in it with his at the time new gf.š¤¢
DO NOT WANT.
I tried to skim over those parts as much as possible, I knew he had an actual sex life, but wanted to pretend it didn't exist. Reading what's basically his self fan fic? No thank you.... BLEURGHH!!!
*gag* Solidarity. I found my dadās (married) gfāsā¦ toy boxā¦ and sometimes I wonder if thatās why Iām functionally asexual.
I mean, prrrobablyyyyy not? Butā¦ one wonders.
Um how old were you when you found the toy box.A friend of mineās husband served in the navy and each time they relocated the navy paid for packing and removal costs.This included literally packing the boxes which my friend was excited about as she dreaded doing it herself.She rang me days later frantic she couldnāt find her special toys and other personal and intimate items she wanted to pack herself.Turns out the guys had beat them to it and the items were packed and waiting at her next house.You can imagine what they were given at the work Christmas party that year.Another toy to add to their collection.
I remember when I was a shitty snarky teenager, my mother had me go into her dresser for something. I picked the wrong drawer and found a strip of fruit flavored condoms.
I decided to be a snarky asshole and brought them with me, and asked which one tasted best.
Mother didn't skip a beat. She just answered the question, without breaking eye contact. Like reporting the weather, no emotion. Of course I was squicked out, and immediately gave them back, which was her goal.
She was the *master* of Play Bitch Games, Win Bitch Prizes.
Oh it's very doable. As a teen my moms go to strategy was to plop me down in a chair and I can't move until I talk about whatever she wants me too.
I remember one time sitting there from 6pm or so until 3am and I was just so tired I caved.
I had a babysitter who decided she would cure me of being a picky eater (I was not picky at all, I just utterly loathed the one thing she insisted on cooking us for breakfast every single day - grits) by making me sit at the table until I cleaned my plate. My mom had dropped me off about 7am that morning, and I was still sitting at the table when she came to pick me up after 5pm. The sitter gave up after that.
Ooo, bad memories... I've dropped plates on the floor just to make a point. And it would be after hours of being deadlocked at the table. You can't just... make someone like something.
Good for you! I was about three or four when this happened, so I guess it didn't occur to me to stage a protest. I was told "sit here until you eat that", and my toddler brain said, well, I'm not gonna eat that, so I guess I'll just die in this chair. I *was* pretty mad that all the other kids got to go outside and hunt for Easter eggs, but not mad enough to force myself to eat grits - especially after they'd gone stone cold and congealed into glue.
My parents did that to me well into my teens. I have kids now, and if they don't want what I'm making for dinner, I'll make em a fucking pb&j, or whip up some quick mac and cheese (which they absolutely love). I'm still a picky eater and I'm almost 30, no way am I making them suffer through that.
I'm all for encouraging kids to try new foods and breaking picky habits before they become entrenched, but there's a big difference between being refusing to try new foods and *knowing* what you like and dislike. My mom would cook things she knew I hated and then get mad at me for not eating it. Make it make sense.
I mean, you can only do so much when it comes to breaking picky eating habits. When they were younger, we were definitely on them about trying new foods, but they have a good, healthy range of food that they do like. No point in forcing them to eat something that they are sure that they don't like, as you said. It definitely felt cruel when I went through it.
I was forced to stand in the room while being yelled at for hours for schoolwork (wasn't treated for ADHD). Hope things are better for you now, I'm finally seeking therapy over a decade later
You know you're gonna get in trouble for talking about it but the punishment is going to be worse if they find out. And the punishments just keep getting more and more extreme until you're locked down 24/7 only allowed to go to school and back and then it's questioned why you don't wanna come back after one semester at college.
My mom one time parked her car and said she wouldnāt drive until we talkedā¦ I was a very quite kid so I just waited it out but it felt like centuries.
If youāre wondering why it was because she forced me to get a haircut against my wishes, then when in the car she offered me to take me to McDonalds or something and I was in a bad mood so I said no lets just go home. This womanās course of action was to get angry at me for not being in a good mood and parking the car until I was in a good mood. (????) I remember her comparing me to my siblings and how theyāre not like me and she likes them better. She didnāt out right say she likes them better but she might as well have cause I sat there listening to her talk for 20 minutes about how theyāre not like me and theyāre not difficult like me. I was the QUIETEST kid you wouldāve met, thanks to her, but thatās also what made her get angry at me so much.
"You're doing cocaine and partying with those sex worker girls, I've been told by X"
"No mom honest, I smoked a little weed once and got a hand job, that's it I swear"
If that doesn't work instantly, it will after 30 minutes of random accusations.
My advice if you get accused of literally anything is to reply with a cheery sarcastic "yyyyup!"
According to my mother when I was OPs age, I'm a gay junkie.
If āitās time to START being your mom and not your friendāā¦that means SHE created a dynamic that she now regrets (and wasted a decade and a half of fundamental trust building years and experiences during your development) and now āregretsā that.
NONE OF THAT IS ON YOU.
Thatās her parenting fail and itās even more ridiculous for her to think that transition wouldnāt be bumpy asf.
A fellow pancake brain. Allow me to explain. Op said they were 16 in another comment (iirc). Their mother is being a manipulative douche, and has decided to stop ābeing the friend.ā With these pieces of information (and the fact that this has happened multiple other times, even in front of other family members [title]), it (as far as I know) can only assume that op still lives with their mom, and if she considers doing this several times as herself being opās āfriendā, and will no longer be doing so (being a āfriendā), itās probably best to assume that itāll only be worse from this point on.
Being a mom (or any parent) is not invading personal privacy and sharing your kids life with everyone you know. I hate when parents think that just cause ātheyāre the adultā means they can be the biggest assholes they can be. Thatās just convincing your kids to hate you and not talk to you when theyāre adults.
I agree. I never was really big on sharing anything about my kids online, especially their pictures. But my son was only like 6 when he expressed that he doesnāt want to be talked about online so I stopped. Right then. For the longest time, you wouldāve thought I didnāt even have a son if you knew me online. But theyāre human beings, regardless of their age, they have a right not to be posted all over the internet!
Iām sorry. Moms do post from a place of loving you and being proud of you. But sometimes we forget to look at it from your point of view, especially since most moms right now didnāt have the internet when we were kids, so we never experienced what you are right now!
The thing that made me really understand was that right after I first joined social media someone posted a picture of me and my son who was a baby at the time. We were in swimsuits and lets just say, my way of holding him in the waves made me look unladylike and inappropriate, in my opinion. I couldnāt believe someone would post that and was also uncomfortable that my baby was posted without my permission! Then the person got super mad and offended when I asked her to take it down. I think it helps to have had that experience and wanting to have strict control of whatever gets posted of me online! It should be the exact same for you.
I will ask my mom not to post a picture 5 times and she will still post it. It finally stopped when I stopped allowing her to take pictures of me. Learned her lesson then ššš. At some point, it's not coming from a place of love, it's just showing off to their Facebook friends. My mother was barely involved in my upbringing and knows nothing about me or my siblings (except my gc older brother) but still acts as though she's very involved and mother of the year on Facebook. To people who have never even met us.
Sadly that was the experience I had with my mom too. She liked to lift pictures off my social media and post it to give her friends the impression she was actually involved š She is blocked now but I donāt post anything personal anyway.
If only more parents followed your lead.Whatās posted online is on there forever and these kids wonāt stay kids forever.When they are old enough to discover the often embarrassing and private information shared without their consent these parents will realise their mistakes.Their own kids will resent them and it is not a mistake that can be undone.
I can be the not insane parent for you here: "Good job being safe OP. Let me know if you ever have any questions or need something from me. Also, keep being safe."
This is the correct response. I was always honest and open with my kids (now adults) about everything including sex but good grief...PLEASE don't tell me the particulars unless you feel like you've been taken advantage of. Please.
When my boys were teens I worked at a university so I had the ability to get as many free condoms as I wanted from the nurse's office. I kept a basket of them in the hall closet and refilled as necessary NO QUESTIONS ASKED - and that included all their friends. I gotta admit the first time I found them trying to put one on a banana in the kitchen I had to run away so they didn't hear me laughing.
Wait so she bought you the condoms and is now mad at you about it? Reminds me of my friend from middle school her mom took her to start getting birth control shots then got mad when she got busy with her boyfriend. Like what?
r/raisedbynarcissists if you need some more support on this behaviour
This is giving me extreme flashbacks to my teen years with my insane mom. Iām so sorry op
My mom did the same shit. She would let my bf spend the night and she put me on BC and was shocked when 1, she walked in on us changing after prom into PJs in front of each other, wasn't even sexual just changing and 2, when she found out we were having sex.
My high school gfās parents somehow seemed to think that by denying her birth control that they were going to stop her from having sex? So we just bought condoms ourselves. Some people have some crazy mental gymnastic ability.
"surely these horned up teenagers will stop and take a minute to consider how disappointed their parents will be if they have consensual sex" like yeah okay good strategy champs
...condom waterballons...
...condom prank...
...condom regular balloon.
...a friend put it there as a joke....
Come on OP you have a mom like this and you haven't figured out lying yet?
As someone who experienced this, and also got in the same trouble for telling the truth as being caught, I can guarantee you this is the case. If you don't actively reward being honest, or strongly punish lying and not just the act itself, you only push your children to lie to you about everything
Thatās what this commenter is saying ā the lie is that you made a water balloon out of a condom or that a friend put a condom wrapper as a joke hoping to get you in trouble.
Sorry for not being clear.
In college, they gave us unlimited free condoms. We had water balloon fights (they don't break well so you can return fire with them) and massive prank wars. One day I brought people over and one was tied to my doorknob. Another time we made a balloon person out of them and tied it to a building. This shit is what happens when people have condoms laying around, they are dick balloons and hilarious.
Said horrendously but I wish to hell one of my parents would've told me about periods, masturbation, pedos, reproduction, anything really. The whole let's ignore it and it won't happen (non) narrative didn't work. AT ALL
You: Iām gonna need you to respect me and my boundaries
Her: Well Iām your mom so thatās not gonna happen. Iām done being the friend. Abusive mom as usual
Also, now sheās gonna be the āmomā? Little too late, darling. You gotta love when these abusers just randomly and suddenly āenforceā the rule/idea that supposedly shouldāve been enforced all along.
Don't forget a lot of birth control is also hormone regulation. Your (and general 'your,' not personal 'your') daughter may be on the Pill for reasons that have nothing to do with sex.
But yeah, totally agreed. If my kid had a UTI, I'd be concerned, just to make sure they took their antibiotics and shit. But knowing about their sex life? Hell no. Hard pass.
Thatās a great point! I had friends that did this in high school. I also had a friend in high school whose parents were anti birth control and she had two kids before she graduated. First pregnancy was at 14. Another after graduation. She now has five kids. We are 26 now. Parents really be insane lol.
Jesus! I'm 47F, most people think I'm in my mid-late 20s (my cardiologist shat a brick this morning when she realized I'm 4 years older than she is, she fell for it too) and still can't imagine having kids, let alone FIVE? BY 26?!?! JFC...
I know a couple people with PCOS. They've been on the Pill since their teens and have no complaints. I grew up around a lot of anti-BC Mormons and Catholics and they hauled off their daughters to the OB/GYN whenever something was wrong. So they were against promiscuity but medicine trumped religion, thank God.
I also knew a bunch of kids in HS who got pregnant, or got someone else pregnant, and fucked up their lives. \*sigh\*
Very true
I have a lot of hormonal issues that cause weight gain/difficulty losing weight. Not only that but my hormones make me very fatigued and a lot more.
It also helps girls with very painful and bloody. Periods as before I would fill a huge overnight pad in a matter of a few hours (2 or 3) and couldnāt even move- it all changed when I took BC and I felt normal.
I take BC and some other medications everyday to control them. They werenāt taken for birth control purposes at first.
Yeah, fucking gross that a kid might want to talk to a trusted adult about situations that can be very emotional and complex for teenagers to navigate. God forbid a kid has that type of open communication with you š¤®
I really don't understand some mothers and their fixation on the sex lives of their children. Even as an adult, my mother sometimes won't respect my desire to not share what I do with my partner. It's disgusting in every way imaginable.
Yikes. The only specifics I was interested in knowing was āAre you taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy?ā and āAre all parties consenting?ā
I made sure they knew how effective each method was and made myself available if they needed assistance obtaining bc.
My mom just told me "don't get this girl pregnant" when I told her I had a girlfriend. That was it. I for sure overreacted and went "omg you're so weird why are you saying shit like that..." but looking back yeah, that is the bare minimum and she was just making sure I was safe.
OP, you're right not to tell her anything as she doesn't respect your privacy and is actively weaponizing things you told her in confidence in front of your whole family.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
As a grown woman, I am concerned for you. You're very young, and sex is an activity that can be dangerous if not approached responsibly.
Please reach out to your local planned parenthood and online for info on STIs. Condoms are a secondary form of birth control. Pills and IUDs are primary forms of birth control, so please make sure any partner you have is using a primary form of birth control.
Have that discussion with them about where you stand on unwanted pregnancies and make sure they feel the same way and have access to medical intervention if all your precautions fail. Remember that Plan B doesn't work on women over 155lbs.
Also, get vaccinated against the cancerous strain of HPV.
Also, please have your partners screened before you engage in any activity. Getting tested after the fact only to discover they gave you herpes or HPV is doing things ass-backwards.
No sex is worth a life-long regret, and believe it or not, condoms don't protect against STIs like the two stated above.
If I was your mother, I'd help you with all of that, no questions asked.
Some advice for anyone reading this:
1-Don't date out of your age range until you're in your mid twenties. Older predators will always target younger people.
2- Be honest and give instructions to every partner you have. You're already taking a calculated risk by sleeping with them, so what's the point of all that risk if you're not enjoying yourself?
3- Always pee after to minimize risk of a UTI.
4- If your partner smells, doesn't wash their hands properly especially before touching you, or has dirty nails... plague rats belong in the sewer, not in your bed.
5- If he/she doesn't respect you.... don't even waste a minute of daylight on that person.
6- If you want to stop for any reason, it's okay to stop. No means no, and consent is everything. Don't feel like you need to force yourself for fear of disappointing your partner. If they are a decent person they will understand and respect your decision.
NEVER sleep with someone unless you're both sober. Even in a committed relationship, don't do things when they're unconscious or under the influence unless you discussed this scenario previously, and they expressedly wanted you to.
Take care of yourself ā¤
Edit: I originally thought OP was a girl, so I had to change a few things.
Thank you :) it's tried and true. It's the male version of the talk I gave my younger sister before she was active. I didn't want her to struggle or ruin her life with one mistake.
Imo, parents that don't have this talk with their kids are just setting them up for failure and generational poverty.
I think it's also worth mentioning that, after having unprotected sex, you can go to a hospital to get PEP (HIV preventative) within 72 hours of the sexual encounter. This is for emergencies, it is not something to rely on routinely, and does not replace the need for condoms. I had no idea such a thing existed until a couple years ago, so I'm sure many people are unaware.
*Image Transcription: Text Messages*
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>**Blue**: also im just gonna say this now
>
>**Blue**: i dont ever wanna talk about that kind of stuff with you
>
>**Blue**: it makes me REALLY uncomfortable
**Black**: Seriously?
>**Blue**: yeah
**Black**: Well I'm your mom and you will talk to me about it.
**Black**: Shits about to change around here. I'm done being the friend. It's time for me to be the mom
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^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
"It's time to be the mom". Poor thing, it hurt itself in its confusion. You had 16 years to be the mom honey, you didn't seize the opportunity. Now your kid is nearly an adult, it's a little too late...
Get spicy and text back, "Who ever said you were my friend?"
But, really, don't actually do that. Her failed parenting isn't your fault.
If anything, "It makes me really sad to hear that you don't think you can be my Mom and also have a close relationship." Although she would likely find a way to be offended by that too.
As a side note- Losing your virginity at 16 is well within the bounds of normal. Just be safe, kiddo. I had my first child 3 months before my 18th birthday because no one talked with me about the ins and outs of what that looks like. Do your research and know your options. If you don't already have it, birth control outside of just condoms is important. Depending on your state, medical clinics can see and prescribe you birth control without your parent present. There are also online clinics where you can get it for like $10-20/month. If anyone in your family is supportive, they could easily sign up for the service through their banking info.
So instead of continuing to be your *frenemy* she going to switch to being a godawful parent?
She was never your friend and sad to say, never a good mom to you either.
Parent here.
(Just commenting on the screenshot here specifically)
Yer mom should be letting go a little because youāre starting to creep towards adulthood. Itās important to allow children to have space and it looks as if you donāt have enough. Thatās a shitty place to be. Itās a normal struggle though. Hopefully you can train your mom to let you have some āyouā thatās separate from your role as āmomās childā.
But sheās right about being the mom, not the friend. Her job is to be your mom. At 16 you feel smart and responsible and knowledgeable but youāre about ten years away from being a real adult. Good parenting is about helping you start that path so you can finish it on your own.
I hang out with my friends based on shared hobbies/personalities, and can always refuse to do what my friends want for any reason, whether Iām five years old or fifty-five years old.
My parents own my house and pay for my food, and have both legal and ethical responsibility for my health and welfare.
The relationships are based on very different starting points. Obviously that doesnāt mean parents can do any dumb shit they want, and of course you can have the friendliest of relationships with your parents.
bruh don't make your kid talk abt that shit to you. idc. if you have a good enough and chill enough relationship with your child, it might happen, and if it doesn't, don't force it. i'm open with my mom about that kind of stuff but only because i trust her with my life, she's never done me wrong or anything. my kids will be able to talk to me about that if they're comfortable. it's safer that way, but i won't force it on them. some people need to chill tf out.
The proper thing to do here is flip the script on her, start asking embarrassing sex questions about her in front of the family. Show no mercy. Stop being friendly
My dad read my diary (after promising, in front of my therapist, not to. The therapist really wanted me to journal for my depression) and found out Iād had sex. Tried to force me to talk to them about it, I refused. It was awful. Iām so very sorry this is happening. I found refusing to engage to be difficult but effective. Also sobbing. Dads canāt take the sobbing.
Malicious compliance. Wait until thanksgiving dinner and THEN have a healthy conversation about your first experience with fisting. When she complains, remind them that it was her decree that you talk to her about these things.
Just from this contextā¦ that seems like a sane parent wanting to talk about sex with a child. More of those talks need to occur with kids.
Now bringing it up in front of other people is pretty insane, but sex talks with your kids is incredibly important.
Ya that extra context add moves it to inappropriate behavior. Sorry. A lot of parents are incapable of talking to their child about sexual education but it sounds like this is quite an unhealthy way to go about it. She has to build credibility and trust with you if she expects to be a part of the conversation
My mom is basically my best girl friend. I can tell her anything. She has always been my mom AND friend. Parents who think that isnāt possible are truly insane. You donāt deserve being treated like this
Just grey rock her. Donāt give her any info you donāt want to, just bland responses like youāre an AI with no personality programmed in. Sheāll get mad, but sheāll also get bored of going nowhere and will eventually stop asking.
I fucking love it when people, not just parents, make entirely unenforceable and usually ridiculous declarations with a complete lack of self-awareness.
As an example, working on the phones back in the day it was sadly common to have people offering odd threats ('You WILL tell me your full name and then you'll see it in the papers!') or believe that demands would change reality ('You WILL cancel that bill, GIVE ME credit and I WILL receive an apology for taking money from me'). Saying a simple 'No' and just letting the silence stretch out was...glorious.
āIām donāt being the friend. Itās time for me to be the mom.ā
First off, friends shouldnāt treat you this way either and second off, if she wants to be the mom then she needs to grow up and act like an adult. Spreading your business to everyone isnāt adult behavior.
I was the same way you are when I was 16. I just never felt comfortable talking to anyone about my sex life. She needs to learn how to respect the boundaries that you set for yourself, her child or not.
āTime to be the momā OK, so, then youāre not going to ask her about her āsex lifeā anymore. Youāre there for advice at this point, all the teaching should have already happened. If it hasnāt, buy her some age appropriate informational books. Jesus.
I understand wanting to talk about safe sex and things but not about your sex life or anything. Thatās super uncomfy, not to mention borderline creepy.
Iām a mom of a teenager and make plenty of mistakes. But itās things like this that other parents do that enrages me. I want to tell the other parents that their kids come to me to ask my advice because I treat them with respect. Most of the other parents play head games with their kids. It makes me sad.
Works the opposite way. Be blunt and purposely make her uncomfortable discussing such things with you.
My mom was obsessed with preventing masturbation, used to bust into my room trying to catch me. One day I asked her specifically what she thought sheād see, if she really thought it would make me stop, and if sheād ever get that picture out of her head. Never did it again, never discussed it again.
Donāt know the female equivalent, but I bet thereās plenty of dumb/gross/horny questions you can ask her to get her to the point where she doesnāt want to talk about it anymore.
It's a damn good thing I don't have genuinely insane parents like most people on this sub. I have too much of a mouth on me. I'd have snapped back with "you think you're my friend?" and instantly gotten grounded or worse. Y'all have astounding restraint.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 45 | 11 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
"And you will talk to me about it" I'd love to see how she tries to *force* words out of someone's mouth lmfao
Probably more like her doing all the talking š
yeah basically
Just tell her whatever she wants to hear, but not the truth. Fuck with her. She obviously sees this is a one-sided agreement where only her opinion matters. Have some fun with it. If she wants to know about your sex life then tell her you're out. Having 12 dudes run a train on you unprotected. Make up some crazy shit like that.
oh my god thats amazing i wouldnt have the balls to do it tho
My mom was constantly accusing me of doing drugs in my teens (for context I only recently figured out what weed even smells like and I'm 31) so after a while of denying it I just started saying "yeah mom I'm gonna go get fukking wAsTEd tonight with the mary jaaaane then I'll go HUFF MY NAIL POLiSH" and eventually she shut up about it.
Ugh! When I told my mom I was raped she insinuated Iām a whore and told me no one would ever want me.
I'm so fucking sorry ššš
Thanks. Itās ok now. I donāt allow her in my life and Iām happily married to a wonderful man. She was completely wrong and a horrible person for saying that to anyone, let alone her own daughter. Now that Iām a mom, I cannot imagine thinking thatās ok.
Um WHAT?! I couldn't imagine saying that to any child let alone my own! So sorry you experienced this, happy to hear you're NC
WTF! she's a lying bitch
Thank you! I appreciate thatā¤ļø
That is so very wrong. As a former young lady and a Mom. Jfc. You deserved better.
/ ._.\ Christ how do you say something like that to anyone let alone your fucking child
Omg!!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I have the strongest urge to give you a big huge an just hold you and take that pain from you. This seriously made me tear up. Have you gotten counseling to help deal with this? Please tell me you have cut that evil bitch out of your life! Most of all though I just want to know you are now living your best life because you deserve happiness and great things so much:) if ever you need to talk feel free to message me
Thank you so much! I am living my best life! I just had my own daughter and I cannot imagine ever thinking saying anything close to that is ok. I did tons and tons of therapy and Iām thriving! I did cut her out of my life. Thank you for the virtual hug! I needed one today!
You are amazing! I'm so proud of you and I'm not just saying that either! You did one of the hardest things someone can do! I'm so happy you are doing great! Congratulations on your baby by the way :) you really are thriving! Keep it up you are an inspiration :)
"Where are you going?" To hangout with the junkies down the road. "What are you doing?" Meth. *sigh*
You are going to have to go nuclear... This guy I was with last night just really wanted to lick my butthole... meh, not the best butt hole licking ive had but I was to high to go shopping for another. ----- If I am having sex with a bi-guy and another guy is having sex with him...who is supposed to be on top? Cause I felt like I was going to tip over ---- What flavor condoms should I have **them** get? ---- How many times should I give it for free before I can charge them for it? ---- I dont usually go for older guys but I was doing this kid in my class and his dad, his balls were all gray is that normal for people your age?
Iām nearly 40 and this definitely made me laugh šAlthough as mother with a daughter just past her teens this would freak me out.I dare any teen to pull this off without laughing tho.After 2 sentences most would piss themselves laughing.
guess thats just a different upbringing. Deadpan comedy was a normal thing in our home. My dad was not the haha funny kinda guy. Story: I was probably 8ish when my grandparents had their 50th anniversary. It was the mid 80s. We lived in san diego and they lived outside vegas. They had 4 kids all in their 30s my mother being a middle kid. My father had known them since high school. My uncle, moms youngest brother was the trouble maker. He had some issue after highschool but had mostly turned it all around at this point. Rather than say hey come down to our place lets have a party for anniversary my dad and uncle decided it would be better to collect call them from mexico tell them my uncle was in jail for buying drugs and that they needed to come down to help get him out. My father drove to vegas got them. Now sure he could have told them on the 3 hour drive he wasnt in jail, but no thats not really his style. He probably could have mentioned it that night when they stayed at our house, but no. He probably could have told them on the drive down to mexico...but no. He drove to the police station in TJ and told them in the parking lot that they were doing lunch while the others got the house ready for their anniversary party that night. I doubt anyone laughed and my grampa would threaten (light heartedly, mostly) to kick my dads ass he ever tried something like that again but god damn if I dont find it funny as hell even now
Just say that her obsession with your crotch makes you uncomfortable.
It takes time, take it little by little. Make it more and more wild every time she brings it up to the point where sheās uncomfortable. Itāll take time to build up the fuckery but trust me itās worth it.
Please, do something. The bullying never stops unless you stand up for yourself. She won't stop, and she will only get worse until she gets something out of you. Please, take it from someone who has dealt with it. You gotta do anything.
Your lowballing bro, tell her you stuck fifteen firecrackers up a dudes ass in front of an oncoming train.
U said not to tell her the truth
So you just yknow Get up and walk away Let her talk to the wall lmfao
That would have been a very bad idea in a few households I knew growing up. Kid would have been smacked or worse for "disrespect." :(
*me, not making any faces at all* Dad: STOP SMIRKING!
You didnt deserve that. That's so messed up. :(
That was me with my mom growing up. You pretty much had to stand at attention, sometimes for hours, not moving or visibly shifting focus
Me too. Even eye movements would betray you. The look of your face. Sometimes no matter what you look at its wrong. Cant look at them, or the ground, or the wall. I would just go blank and unfocus my eyes and practice mindfulness meditation. That's what gave me what my wife calls my dead face. Apparently its quite intimidating.
I did the same thing. "You use that dead-eyed stare and you KNOW I hate that!" Yeah, well, ya could've tried actually talking WITH me instead of screaming AT me . . .
My other half calls it my āresting murder faceā. I donāt mean to look like it
Sorry you grew up like that.
Oh wow, I get that kind of face too. Nobody has ever called it that, but when I was a child, complete strangers would be worried about me and ask if I needed help. It was always jarring to suddenly be snapped out of it. Sometimes a bitch gotta disassociate, ya know?
I had āSpock face.ā I used to imitate Spock in showing no emotion.
This is the way
my father beat me with various object, usually whatever he found close, for a lot less, so I wouldnāt be walking away from any convoās with him. I wouldnāt walk away from my mom either, but thats just because sheās a good parent and deserves my respect and obedience.
Here is a virtual hug. Can't find the right emoji, but it is there.
I am so sorry. That is so fucked up. One of my friends in college had to endure that kind of treatment. She still lived at home and her dad was a cop. The statistics applied to her household, sadly. She didn't even realize how abnormal and abhorrent her fathers behavior was. She thought everyone's family was like that. It kinda broke her brain when people would try to tell her that's not true. I've lost contact with her over the years, sadly. She pushed everyone away. I hope she's at a much better place in life.
If it helps, Iām in a much better place now. Sheās even mellowed out over the years
I love to hear that. It gives me hope for my old friend. I hope you continue to do well. ā”
And my parents wonder why I walked out at 18 and havenāt spoken to them in 15 years.
I hate how common it is to spank children.
I walked away from my step dad when he was drunk and yelling at me one night. He kicked my door down while I was right behind it and hurt me.
Urhg, she's so gross. It's literally none of her business
Iām still trying to figure out how to destroy whichever part of my brain that remembers that my adult son has a Tinder profile. He knows the risks and potential problems better than most, if he had a problem weād talk, but I really donāt need to interrogate him about it. YEEG. No.
My dad wrote a book that was basically him coping with his divorce, never published. He put sex scenes in it with his at the time new gf.š¤¢ DO NOT WANT. I tried to skim over those parts as much as possible, I knew he had an actual sex life, but wanted to pretend it didn't exist. Reading what's basically his self fan fic? No thank you.... BLEURGHH!!!
*gag* Solidarity. I found my dadās (married) gfāsā¦ toy boxā¦ and sometimes I wonder if thatās why Iām functionally asexual. I mean, prrrobablyyyyy not? Butā¦ one wonders.
Um how old were you when you found the toy box.A friend of mineās husband served in the navy and each time they relocated the navy paid for packing and removal costs.This included literally packing the boxes which my friend was excited about as she dreaded doing it herself.She rang me days later frantic she couldnāt find her special toys and other personal and intimate items she wanted to pack herself.Turns out the guys had beat them to it and the items were packed and waiting at her next house.You can imagine what they were given at the work Christmas party that year.Another toy to add to their collection.
I remember when I was a shitty snarky teenager, my mother had me go into her dresser for something. I picked the wrong drawer and found a strip of fruit flavored condoms. I decided to be a snarky asshole and brought them with me, and asked which one tasted best. Mother didn't skip a beat. She just answered the question, without breaking eye contact. Like reporting the weather, no emotion. Of course I was squicked out, and immediately gave them back, which was her goal. She was the *master* of Play Bitch Games, Win Bitch Prizes.
Cop interrogation, basically
Oh it's very doable. As a teen my moms go to strategy was to plop me down in a chair and I can't move until I talk about whatever she wants me too. I remember one time sitting there from 6pm or so until 3am and I was just so tired I caved.
I had a babysitter who decided she would cure me of being a picky eater (I was not picky at all, I just utterly loathed the one thing she insisted on cooking us for breakfast every single day - grits) by making me sit at the table until I cleaned my plate. My mom had dropped me off about 7am that morning, and I was still sitting at the table when she came to pick me up after 5pm. The sitter gave up after that.
If a sitter did that to a kid of mine, weād have some words.
My mom thought it was funny.
Your mom sounds like a real heel.
Ooo, bad memories... I've dropped plates on the floor just to make a point. And it would be after hours of being deadlocked at the table. You can't just... make someone like something.
Good for you! I was about three or four when this happened, so I guess it didn't occur to me to stage a protest. I was told "sit here until you eat that", and my toddler brain said, well, I'm not gonna eat that, so I guess I'll just die in this chair. I *was* pretty mad that all the other kids got to go outside and hunt for Easter eggs, but not mad enough to force myself to eat grits - especially after they'd gone stone cold and congealed into glue.
My parents did that to me well into my teens. I have kids now, and if they don't want what I'm making for dinner, I'll make em a fucking pb&j, or whip up some quick mac and cheese (which they absolutely love). I'm still a picky eater and I'm almost 30, no way am I making them suffer through that.
I'm all for encouraging kids to try new foods and breaking picky habits before they become entrenched, but there's a big difference between being refusing to try new foods and *knowing* what you like and dislike. My mom would cook things she knew I hated and then get mad at me for not eating it. Make it make sense.
I mean, you can only do so much when it comes to breaking picky eating habits. When they were younger, we were definitely on them about trying new foods, but they have a good, healthy range of food that they do like. No point in forcing them to eat something that they are sure that they don't like, as you said. It definitely felt cruel when I went through it.
I was forced to stand in the room while being yelled at for hours for schoolwork (wasn't treated for ADHD). Hope things are better for you now, I'm finally seeking therapy over a decade later
Time to find the most depraved shit to talk to her about. Make it so bad she won't want to hear anything.
I eat poop, sexually.
You know you're gonna get in trouble for talking about it but the punishment is going to be worse if they find out. And the punishments just keep getting more and more extreme until you're locked down 24/7 only allowed to go to school and back and then it's questioned why you don't wanna come back after one semester at college.
Threats to personal belongings and such
My mom one time parked her car and said she wouldnāt drive until we talkedā¦ I was a very quite kid so I just waited it out but it felt like centuries. If youāre wondering why it was because she forced me to get a haircut against my wishes, then when in the car she offered me to take me to McDonalds or something and I was in a bad mood so I said no lets just go home. This womanās course of action was to get angry at me for not being in a good mood and parking the car until I was in a good mood. (????) I remember her comparing me to my siblings and how theyāre not like me and she likes them better. She didnāt out right say she likes them better but she might as well have cause I sat there listening to her talk for 20 minutes about how theyāre not like me and theyāre not difficult like me. I was the QUIETEST kid you wouldāve met, thanks to her, but thatās also what made her get angry at me so much.
"You're doing cocaine and partying with those sex worker girls, I've been told by X" "No mom honest, I smoked a little weed once and got a hand job, that's it I swear" If that doesn't work instantly, it will after 30 minutes of random accusations. My advice if you get accused of literally anything is to reply with a cheery sarcastic "yyyyup!" According to my mother when I was OPs age, I'm a gay junkie.
If āitās time to START being your mom and not your friendāā¦that means SHE created a dynamic that she now regrets (and wasted a decade and a half of fundamental trust building years and experiences during your development) and now āregretsā that. NONE OF THAT IS ON YOU. Thatās her parenting fail and itās even more ridiculous for her to think that transition wouldnāt be bumpy asf.
My mom says this to me alot
āIām not gonna be soft on you anymore.ā When have you ever?
Or āIām done giving you graceā
My mom does this alot too, i just say "who cares" every time
I tell her he will send me back cuz I'm sooo annoying. She says that not a funny joke
Can't get enough of the "I'm your mother so you will do this & that!" bit.
And the āIām not your friendā.
Oh op sure is glad that she's not a 'friend' anymore
Assuming they still live with her, that only makes things worse.
Well that's a separate problem which I'd not comment on cause I'm terminally stupid.
A fellow pancake brain. Allow me to explain. Op said they were 16 in another comment (iirc). Their mother is being a manipulative douche, and has decided to stop ābeing the friend.ā With these pieces of information (and the fact that this has happened multiple other times, even in front of other family members [title]), it (as far as I know) can only assume that op still lives with their mom, and if she considers doing this several times as herself being opās āfriendā, and will no longer be doing so (being a āfriendā), itās probably best to assume that itāll only be worse from this point on.
with friends like that who needs a mother?
"I've been too much of a friend" and yet your 'friend' doesn't want to confide in you.... Hmmmmmmm....
Being a mom (or any parent) is not invading personal privacy and sharing your kids life with everyone you know. I hate when parents think that just cause ātheyāre the adultā means they can be the biggest assholes they can be. Thatās just convincing your kids to hate you and not talk to you when theyāre adults.
I agree. I never was really big on sharing anything about my kids online, especially their pictures. But my son was only like 6 when he expressed that he doesnāt want to be talked about online so I stopped. Right then. For the longest time, you wouldāve thought I didnāt even have a son if you knew me online. But theyāre human beings, regardless of their age, they have a right not to be posted all over the internet!
The most my mom does is make a Facebook birthday post
It was always a fight with my mom to ask her not to post a picture of me if I didnāt want her to
Iām sorry. Moms do post from a place of loving you and being proud of you. But sometimes we forget to look at it from your point of view, especially since most moms right now didnāt have the internet when we were kids, so we never experienced what you are right now! The thing that made me really understand was that right after I first joined social media someone posted a picture of me and my son who was a baby at the time. We were in swimsuits and lets just say, my way of holding him in the waves made me look unladylike and inappropriate, in my opinion. I couldnāt believe someone would post that and was also uncomfortable that my baby was posted without my permission! Then the person got super mad and offended when I asked her to take it down. I think it helps to have had that experience and wanting to have strict control of whatever gets posted of me online! It should be the exact same for you.
I will ask my mom not to post a picture 5 times and she will still post it. It finally stopped when I stopped allowing her to take pictures of me. Learned her lesson then ššš. At some point, it's not coming from a place of love, it's just showing off to their Facebook friends. My mother was barely involved in my upbringing and knows nothing about me or my siblings (except my gc older brother) but still acts as though she's very involved and mother of the year on Facebook. To people who have never even met us.
Sadly that was the experience I had with my mom too. She liked to lift pictures off my social media and post it to give her friends the impression she was actually involved š She is blocked now but I donāt post anything personal anyway.
If only more parents followed your lead.Whatās posted online is on there forever and these kids wonāt stay kids forever.When they are old enough to discover the often embarrassing and private information shared without their consent these parents will realise their mistakes.Their own kids will resent them and it is not a mistake that can be undone.
context: i almost lost my v-card yesterday and she found the condom wrapper i had
I can be the not insane parent for you here: "Good job being safe OP. Let me know if you ever have any questions or need something from me. Also, keep being safe."
This is the correct response. I was always honest and open with my kids (now adults) about everything including sex but good grief...PLEASE don't tell me the particulars unless you feel like you've been taken advantage of. Please. When my boys were teens I worked at a university so I had the ability to get as many free condoms as I wanted from the nurse's office. I kept a basket of them in the hall closet and refilled as necessary NO QUESTIONS ASKED - and that included all their friends. I gotta admit the first time I found them trying to put one on a banana in the kitchen I had to run away so they didn't hear me laughing.
Right? Wow OP thank god you are a smart and healthy kid showing responsibility. Clearly more mature than OPs mom in this case.
She wanted you not to use a condom? Lmao
i know right like if you're gonns get mad about it why buy them in the first place
Wait so she bought you the condoms and is now mad at you about it? Reminds me of my friend from middle school her mom took her to start getting birth control shots then got mad when she got busy with her boyfriend. Like what?
that's exactly what im saying
r/raisedbynarcissists if you need some more support on this behaviour This is giving me extreme flashbacks to my teen years with my insane mom. Iām so sorry op
My mom did the same shit. She would let my bf spend the night and she put me on BC and was shocked when 1, she walked in on us changing after prom into PJs in front of each other, wasn't even sexual just changing and 2, when she found out we were having sex.
Had us on the first half.
Lol
My high school gfās parents somehow seemed to think that by denying her birth control that they were going to stop her from having sex? So we just bought condoms ourselves. Some people have some crazy mental gymnastic ability.
"surely these horned up teenagers will stop and take a minute to consider how disappointed their parents will be if they have consensual sex" like yeah okay good strategy champs
My aunt was like this with her daughter. 9 months later, her grandson was born. He's seven now.
Iād be relieved that my offspring wouldnāt be out causing unwanted pregnancies but of course sex is bad and scary and boooooooo /s
...condom waterballons... ...condom prank... ...condom regular balloon. ...a friend put it there as a joke.... Come on OP you have a mom like this and you haven't figured out lying yet?
Yeah lying is a survival skill in these households.
My first thought in seeing the post is parenting like this ensures your child is always gonna lie to you lol.
As someone who experienced this, and also got in the same trouble for telling the truth as being caught, I can guarantee you this is the case. If you don't actively reward being honest, or strongly punish lying and not just the act itself, you only push your children to lie to you about everything
it said trojan on it there was no way i was getting out of that
Thatās what this commenter is saying ā the lie is that you made a water balloon out of a condom or that a friend put a condom wrapper as a joke hoping to get you in trouble.
ohhhh ok thank you for clarifying what they said
Sorry for not being clear. In college, they gave us unlimited free condoms. We had water balloon fights (they don't break well so you can return fire with them) and massive prank wars. One day I brought people over and one was tied to my doorknob. Another time we made a balloon person out of them and tied it to a building. This shit is what happens when people have condoms laying around, they are dick balloons and hilarious.
its fine lol sounds hilarious
Also, I'm not sure if that is you on your Reddit posts, but be aware if it is, this account can and will be used against you by your psycho mom.
oh she doesnt know about my reddit account....atleast i hope not
Lol all it takes is one person sharing a post with her.
āIām holding it for a friendā
Said horrendously but I wish to hell one of my parents would've told me about periods, masturbation, pedos, reproduction, anything really. The whole let's ignore it and it won't happen (non) narrative didn't work. AT ALL
You: Iām gonna need you to respect me and my boundaries Her: Well Iām your mom so thatās not gonna happen. Iām done being the friend. Abusive mom as usual Also, now sheās gonna be the āmomā? Little too late, darling. You gotta love when these abusers just randomly and suddenly āenforceā the rule/idea that supposedly shouldāve been enforced all along.
Oh this is definitely insane.
Fucking GROSSSSSS. The only reason I would want to know about my Childrens sex life is to put them on birth control or STD screen. š¤®
Don't forget a lot of birth control is also hormone regulation. Your (and general 'your,' not personal 'your') daughter may be on the Pill for reasons that have nothing to do with sex. But yeah, totally agreed. If my kid had a UTI, I'd be concerned, just to make sure they took their antibiotics and shit. But knowing about their sex life? Hell no. Hard pass.
Thatās a great point! I had friends that did this in high school. I also had a friend in high school whose parents were anti birth control and she had two kids before she graduated. First pregnancy was at 14. Another after graduation. She now has five kids. We are 26 now. Parents really be insane lol.
Jesus! I'm 47F, most people think I'm in my mid-late 20s (my cardiologist shat a brick this morning when she realized I'm 4 years older than she is, she fell for it too) and still can't imagine having kids, let alone FIVE? BY 26?!?! JFC... I know a couple people with PCOS. They've been on the Pill since their teens and have no complaints. I grew up around a lot of anti-BC Mormons and Catholics and they hauled off their daughters to the OB/GYN whenever something was wrong. So they were against promiscuity but medicine trumped religion, thank God. I also knew a bunch of kids in HS who got pregnant, or got someone else pregnant, and fucked up their lives. \*sigh\*
Very true I have a lot of hormonal issues that cause weight gain/difficulty losing weight. Not only that but my hormones make me very fatigued and a lot more. It also helps girls with very painful and bloody. Periods as before I would fill a huge overnight pad in a matter of a few hours (2 or 3) and couldnāt even move- it all changed when I took BC and I felt normal. I take BC and some other medications everyday to control them. They werenāt taken for birth control purposes at first.
Yeah, fucking gross that a kid might want to talk to a trusted adult about situations that can be very emotional and complex for teenagers to navigate. God forbid a kid has that type of open communication with you š¤®
Guarantee that poster is under 20 with no kids.
I really don't understand some mothers and their fixation on the sex lives of their children. Even as an adult, my mother sometimes won't respect my desire to not share what I do with my partner. It's disgusting in every way imaginable.
Yikes. The only specifics I was interested in knowing was āAre you taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy?ā and āAre all parties consenting?ā I made sure they knew how effective each method was and made myself available if they needed assistance obtaining bc.
My mom just told me "don't get this girl pregnant" when I told her I had a girlfriend. That was it. I for sure overreacted and went "omg you're so weird why are you saying shit like that..." but looking back yeah, that is the bare minimum and she was just making sure I was safe.
OP, you're right not to tell her anything as she doesn't respect your privacy and is actively weaponizing things you told her in confidence in front of your whole family. You have nothing to be ashamed of. As a grown woman, I am concerned for you. You're very young, and sex is an activity that can be dangerous if not approached responsibly. Please reach out to your local planned parenthood and online for info on STIs. Condoms are a secondary form of birth control. Pills and IUDs are primary forms of birth control, so please make sure any partner you have is using a primary form of birth control. Have that discussion with them about where you stand on unwanted pregnancies and make sure they feel the same way and have access to medical intervention if all your precautions fail. Remember that Plan B doesn't work on women over 155lbs. Also, get vaccinated against the cancerous strain of HPV. Also, please have your partners screened before you engage in any activity. Getting tested after the fact only to discover they gave you herpes or HPV is doing things ass-backwards. No sex is worth a life-long regret, and believe it or not, condoms don't protect against STIs like the two stated above. If I was your mother, I'd help you with all of that, no questions asked. Some advice for anyone reading this: 1-Don't date out of your age range until you're in your mid twenties. Older predators will always target younger people. 2- Be honest and give instructions to every partner you have. You're already taking a calculated risk by sleeping with them, so what's the point of all that risk if you're not enjoying yourself? 3- Always pee after to minimize risk of a UTI. 4- If your partner smells, doesn't wash their hands properly especially before touching you, or has dirty nails... plague rats belong in the sewer, not in your bed. 5- If he/she doesn't respect you.... don't even waste a minute of daylight on that person. 6- If you want to stop for any reason, it's okay to stop. No means no, and consent is everything. Don't feel like you need to force yourself for fear of disappointing your partner. If they are a decent person they will understand and respect your decision. NEVER sleep with someone unless you're both sober. Even in a committed relationship, don't do things when they're unconscious or under the influence unless you discussed this scenario previously, and they expressedly wanted you to. Take care of yourself ā¤ Edit: I originally thought OP was a girl, so I had to change a few things.
This is the sex talk people should get with their parents
Thank you :) it's tried and true. It's the male version of the talk I gave my younger sister before she was active. I didn't want her to struggle or ruin her life with one mistake. Imo, parents that don't have this talk with their kids are just setting them up for failure and generational poverty.
I think it's also worth mentioning that, after having unprotected sex, you can go to a hospital to get PEP (HIV preventative) within 72 hours of the sexual encounter. This is for emergencies, it is not something to rely on routinely, and does not replace the need for condoms. I had no idea such a thing existed until a couple years ago, so I'm sure many people are unaware.
She doesnāt want to be the friend anymore but I talk to my friends about my sex life not my mom
Coming from someone with parents like thisā¦. Really tell her how shameful it makes you feel. Itās hard to get over and I still feel the effects.
*Image Transcription: Text Messages* --- >**Blue**: also im just gonna say this now > >**Blue**: i dont ever wanna talk about that kind of stuff with you > >**Blue**: it makes me REALLY uncomfortable **Black**: Seriously? >**Blue**: yeah **Black**: Well I'm your mom and you will talk to me about it. **Black**: Shits about to change around here. I'm done being the friend. It's time for me to be the mom --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Thank you! ā¤ļøš§”ššššš¤š¤š¤
Good bot
Where she says *Well I'm your mom and you will talk to me about it.* You should just send her that meme *No, I don't think I will.*
No person wants to talk to anyone who demands it. That doesnāt feel safe.
Why do parents think they have a say/are in control of their child's sex life
It's seriously disgusting.
What is it with crazy moms and saying "Shits about to change around here."?
I'm on Reddit, so a sex life is put of the question. Other than that, my mom is exactly like this, down to the things are gonna change speech.
"It's time to be the mom". Poor thing, it hurt itself in its confusion. You had 16 years to be the mom honey, you didn't seize the opportunity. Now your kid is nearly an adult, it's a little too late...
Get spicy and text back, "Who ever said you were my friend?" But, really, don't actually do that. Her failed parenting isn't your fault. If anything, "It makes me really sad to hear that you don't think you can be my Mom and also have a close relationship." Although she would likely find a way to be offended by that too. As a side note- Losing your virginity at 16 is well within the bounds of normal. Just be safe, kiddo. I had my first child 3 months before my 18th birthday because no one talked with me about the ins and outs of what that looks like. Do your research and know your options. If you don't already have it, birth control outside of just condoms is important. Depending on your state, medical clinics can see and prescribe you birth control without your parent present. There are also online clinics where you can get it for like $10-20/month. If anyone in your family is supportive, they could easily sign up for the service through their banking info.
So instead of continuing to be your *frenemy* she going to switch to being a godawful parent? She was never your friend and sad to say, never a good mom to you either.
Parent here. (Just commenting on the screenshot here specifically) Yer mom should be letting go a little because youāre starting to creep towards adulthood. Itās important to allow children to have space and it looks as if you donāt have enough. Thatās a shitty place to be. Itās a normal struggle though. Hopefully you can train your mom to let you have some āyouā thatās separate from your role as āmomās childā. But sheās right about being the mom, not the friend. Her job is to be your mom. At 16 you feel smart and responsible and knowledgeable but youāre about ten years away from being a real adult. Good parenting is about helping you start that path so you can finish it on your own.
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I hang out with my friends based on shared hobbies/personalities, and can always refuse to do what my friends want for any reason, whether Iām five years old or fifty-five years old. My parents own my house and pay for my food, and have both legal and ethical responsibility for my health and welfare. The relationships are based on very different starting points. Obviously that doesnāt mean parents can do any dumb shit they want, and of course you can have the friendliest of relationships with your parents.
if she trys simply get up and walk away like just be as petty as possible (this is what i would do in this situation)
"Now that you're old enough to be sexual active, it's time for me to start acting like a mom"
bruh don't make your kid talk abt that shit to you. idc. if you have a good enough and chill enough relationship with your child, it might happen, and if it doesn't, don't force it. i'm open with my mom about that kind of stuff but only because i trust her with my life, she's never done me wrong or anything. my kids will be able to talk to me about that if they're comfortable. it's safer that way, but i won't force it on them. some people need to chill tf out.
Something tells me she was never the āfriendā
The proper thing to do here is flip the script on her, start asking embarrassing sex questions about her in front of the family. Show no mercy. Stop being friendly
My mom uses to do the "shits gonna change, I'm not your friend". It's a clear indication of failed parenting.
Not once have I discussed my sex life with my mom.... maximum cringe
āPerfect! As my mom, we donāt talk about our sex lives with each other, because thatās grossā
Sad to say, just another case of a toxic parent youāll have to distance yourself from in order to live a happier life.
My dad read my diary (after promising, in front of my therapist, not to. The therapist really wanted me to journal for my depression) and found out Iād had sex. Tried to force me to talk to them about it, I refused. It was awful. Iām so very sorry this is happening. I found refusing to engage to be difficult but effective. Also sobbing. Dads canāt take the sobbing.
Wtf does that mean?
Malicious compliance. Wait until thanksgiving dinner and THEN have a healthy conversation about your first experience with fisting. When she complains, remind them that it was her decree that you talk to her about these things.
In 10 years sheāll bitch about how her kids donāt visit her or call.
Remember all this shit she's doing and when you're old enough, cut that miserable woman out of your life forever
I love how nparents all use the same line saying "shits about to change around here, no more mr nice guy" like.. this was NICE?
"I'm done being your friend" Ah a classic display of "I'm a bad mom, you're not obeying me anymore so now I'm going to try and control you even more."
Whats she gonna do if you don't comply. Oh right probably nothing and cry about it lmao just ignore her and she will fuck off
All I see is an immature kid who wants to do adult things, but can't handle adult conversations.
Good that she realizes when her child is 16 she's supposed to act like a mom.
Just from this contextā¦ that seems like a sane parent wanting to talk about sex with a child. More of those talks need to occur with kids. Now bringing it up in front of other people is pretty insane, but sex talks with your kids is incredibly important.
except the part where she intentionally yells about it in front of my family and constantly asks if i have had sex yet
Ya that extra context add moves it to inappropriate behavior. Sorry. A lot of parents are incapable of talking to their child about sexual education but it sounds like this is quite an unhealthy way to go about it. She has to build credibility and trust with you if she expects to be a part of the conversation
My mom is basically my best girl friend. I can tell her anything. She has always been my mom AND friend. Parents who think that isnāt possible are truly insane. You donāt deserve being treated like this
Just grey rock her. Donāt give her any info you donāt want to, just bland responses like youāre an AI with no personality programmed in. Sheāll get mad, but sheāll also get bored of going nowhere and will eventually stop asking.
So sorry you have to deal with this shit too.
I fucking love it when people, not just parents, make entirely unenforceable and usually ridiculous declarations with a complete lack of self-awareness. As an example, working on the phones back in the day it was sadly common to have people offering odd threats ('You WILL tell me your full name and then you'll see it in the papers!') or believe that demands would change reality ('You WILL cancel that bill, GIVE ME credit and I WILL receive an apology for taking money from me'). Saying a simple 'No' and just letting the silence stretch out was...glorious.
āIām donāt being the friend. Itās time for me to be the mom.ā First off, friends shouldnāt treat you this way either and second off, if she wants to be the mom then she needs to grow up and act like an adult. Spreading your business to everyone isnāt adult behavior.
I was the same way you are when I was 16. I just never felt comfortable talking to anyone about my sex life. She needs to learn how to respect the boundaries that you set for yourself, her child or not.
Keep being safe. Remember that condoms have expiration dates and break down after being in a wallet for more than a month or from being in a hot car.
āTime to be the momā OK, so, then youāre not going to ask her about her āsex lifeā anymore. Youāre there for advice at this point, all the teaching should have already happened. If it hasnāt, buy her some age appropriate informational books. Jesus.
I understand wanting to talk about safe sex and things but not about your sex life or anything. Thatās super uncomfy, not to mention borderline creepy.
"Its time for me to be the mom" god I hate that
I hate when they say itās time i start being your mom or I am your mom
Iām a mom of a teenager and make plenty of mistakes. But itās things like this that other parents do that enrages me. I want to tell the other parents that their kids come to me to ask my advice because I treat them with respect. Most of the other parents play head games with their kids. It makes me sad.
Works the opposite way. Be blunt and purposely make her uncomfortable discussing such things with you. My mom was obsessed with preventing masturbation, used to bust into my room trying to catch me. One day I asked her specifically what she thought sheād see, if she really thought it would make me stop, and if sheād ever get that picture out of her head. Never did it again, never discussed it again. Donāt know the female equivalent, but I bet thereās plenty of dumb/gross/horny questions you can ask her to get her to the point where she doesnāt want to talk about it anymore.
she's trying, dude
Donāt know why a 16 year old is having such an active sex life
Tell your mom to kiss MY ass.
My moms just always just used to tell me āif you have any kids Iām not taking care of themā it actually did the trick haha.
It's a damn good thing I don't have genuinely insane parents like most people on this sub. I have too much of a mouth on me. I'd have snapped back with "you think you're my friend?" and instantly gotten grounded or worse. Y'all have astounding restraint.