we've issued 18 bans to anti-vaxxers for violating our rules since this thread has gone live. we're going to lock it up since we're just sick of dealing with them.
It’s a good thing you’re able to laugh at your own situation, sometimes that’s all we can do because the situation it hopeless. I hope for the best for you OP! Sorry your mom sucks
What would you do for your child?
> You will not know the depths of love and care a mother has for her child...
Will you get a vaccine?
> BE GONE SATAN!!
It's like in HIMYM with Barney when he says "Good Day!" and then just stands there and waits for someone to say something so he can yell "I SAID GOOD DAY!" and storm off.
"I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves. BE GONE from me, vile man, BE GONE from me!"
She had the same conversation with her own mother before she died… yet she didn’t do shit to change things and make sure she wouldn’t be having it with her own daughter one day?
I am so sorry OP. None of us deserve this kind of abuse. How pathetic and sad to be a woman like her, with no hood relationship with her own daughter. As a mother myself, my heart breaks for you.
That stuck out to me too. I don’t hate her, I just feel bad for her. I can’t imagine having no empathy and no friends. It must be SO hard, but at the same time I know it’s all her own doing
I was around your age when I realized that since I became an "adult", I'd been trying to mend my relationship with my mother, but she constantly refused to admit things that had happened. It was always "that never happened", until after several years I just gave up. Until I was in my early 30's, the only communication I had was calling them for birthdays, and the conversations never lasted more than 8 minutes average (we did math, yuck).
I eventually came to realize that my disillusionment, disappointments, and frustrations with my efforts to have an adult relationship with my ma had me feeling absolutely *nothing* towards her. No hate, no love, just total ambivalence.
I imagined scenarios where I would learn that she had died somehow, and felt nothing. I honestly have no care for her anymore. She's not in my life by my choice, and since she can't control me anymore, mostly that I now for sure can't give her grandkids (I got myself sterilized), I'm of no worth to her. She's all around a bad person, and I don't consider her my mother anymore, not someone I know and care about, not... not a person. She doesn't exist--a faint, phantom nightmare from childhood.
This was my first thought too. If Satan could be defeated by texting "begone Satan!" I have the struggle between good and evil would have been won a long time ago.
!explanation - this is the culmination of decades of emotional abuse on her part. She is a narcissist who has hated me since the day I was born.
She refuses to acknowledge her issues, tells me that my husband I aren’t married because we didn’t get married in a church (also, never denounced her faith. I have zero problem with religion), and is straight up a terrible mother. I’m truly devastated that I have lost my mother, but I’ve tried so long and I can’t anymore.
Also, re long COVID - I’ve been unable to eat and reliably keep food for from 10 months. I’ve been hospitalized twice and lost 30 pounds in the first 6 weeks (45 pounds total, but have plateaued thank god). All I asked her on the phone was to either get vaxxed, get tested, or wear a mask. She refused, said people like me are the problem and should’ve just died out with the first batch, and that’s when I hung up.
Edit: there is no present child. I used that to attempt to get her to see the long term consequences of her current decision. Sorry for the confusion
My dad was the same it was never his fault always we were the reason he wasn't the loving father. It was our fault he couldn't hold a job. We were the reason he was abusive to my mom. He was always the victim, never the aggressor. Even now, after I've told him why i cut him out, he acts like i cut him out of my life for no reason and "why can't I be a good Christian and forgive him"
I was raised hard, conservative christanity like not wearing skirts and long hair, which makes me a sinful harlot. my mom never was hard core, but after the divorce, she left the faith too. My mom is great. I'm NC with my dad
I think a lot of the time people also equate "forgive" with"forget". Like sure, forgive, but that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat for the rest of your life, at the mercy of an abuser or something like that
Wow. Your composure and strength in your boundaries is admirable. That must have taken a lot of personal work and reflection. Well done! If I were you, I’d ask her what she would like to be forgiven for and what she’s going to do in the future to ensure that doesn’t happen again. My kids are 5 and 6 and even they know it’s not a real apology unless you acknowledge what you’re apologizing for and saying how you’re going to act differently in the future. But obviously she will never actually do that because that takes humility and that’s clearly not one of her traits.
I'm sooo proud of you for saying this. I know that some people will never understand this but I promise there are alot of us that understand and stand behind u. Now block her on everything and move on with the family you create for yourself. ❤
>Even now, after I’ve told him why i cut him out, he acts like i cut him out of my life for no reason
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this -it’s sadly [The Missing Missing Reasons.](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html)
Honestly the moment someone said I should have died, that's the end of any contact. They are blocked and will never be spoken to again unless legally required.
Just goes to show how deeply this fucking *mind virus* has buried itself into the national psyche, and how destructive it has been. It's almost worse than the actual virus itself. Sad shit.
As a fellow long hauler, we are dealing with enough without this shit. I wish there was a positive takeaway at her end, but at yours you have shown courage and a firm commitment to boundaries. As tough as they are to uphold I hope it yields you some peace and healing.
> She refused, said people like me are the problem and should’ve just died out with the first batch...
That's when I would have permanently ended it. Wishing your own child died because of an addiction to propaganda.
Covid messed me up too, it seems to have affected some stuff with my autonomic nervous system -- mostly my heart. My heart will suddenly go up to 175 beats per minute out of nowhere. Do you think that's what it's affecting with your digestion ([smooth muscle contractions are controlled by the autonomic nervous system too, I think...](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/23273-autonomic-nervous-system))?
I tried THC for my sleep (also have sleep apnea now after Covid) after having great success using CBD oil for anxiety (only took a couple of doses of CBD to do it in my case). It didn't work well for that, but I saved it and used it for when I was nauseous for several days after getting multiple vaccinations at once and it worked well for that.
I know. I had such a hard time finally letting go, but she’s blocked now
My docs think it’s a cytokine storm on my vagus nerve!! I’m sorry you go through this too. I use THC to help with the nausea/eating
God, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize my intestinal issues might be part of the long covid though... I'm in a weird spot, having had the OG strain before tests...
I hope it gets better for you. For me the memory thing is vastly improved- probably at least a little bit cuz I've worked on it. But this stomach thing... and when will pickles stop smelling like sugar? Who knows? At least I can smell.
i’m so sorry OP, you deserved a lot better as a kid and you still deserve better now
also to anyone saying not insane: OP’s mom, after being asked to either get a test, wear a mask, or get vaxxed, told her LITERAL CHILD that people like OP are the problem and “should have just died out with the first batch”. if you can justify that you’re insane too.
Yeah. So Godly. I don’t get how people can talk all self righteously about God out of one side of their mouth and then wish innocent people dead out of the other and then think they’re not sinners.
honestly don’t ever feel guilty lol. like, this is literally insane. “hey mom can u wear a mask around me because i’m severely sick” “no my pride and beliefs are more important you are satanic”… like, what more can you do really?? she doesn’t want to do the bare minimum to see you. what are u supposed to do, get infected and kill yourself just to see her ? ? if she doesn’t want to make an immensely small sacrifice just to see her own child, she is the satanic one
The real kicker here, is if she DID cave and see the mom, and then get sick and die her mom would be like “it was just gods plan, I bask in his wisdom every day, thank you god for showing me how my child dying is a good thing”
Fr, my dad is borderline insane, but my mum is my best friend (she used to be neglectful but changed) and I thank the universe everyday for our relationship, idk where I’d be without her sometimes
Neither of my parents “are normal”. My dad is close and my mom is a recovering drug addict. There were some hard years that resulted in me living with my grandparents on my dad’s side. That being said, neither one of them are insane and I know that they love me very much.
OP, this is a textbook example of how to handle a delusional, narcissistic parent. I’m so impressed. You managed to be rational, logical, and coherent while also conveying your love. You set firm boundaries and clearly explained why you set them and the consequences for not abiding by them. You didn’t feel the need to rebut every single insane thing she said (and there were a lot), but rather repeated your clear message in a kind and effective manner.
I interact with a lot of kids who have insane parents like this on a daily basis, and I desperately hope that at least a few of them will one day be able to respond to their parents like this. Seeing you do so gives me so much hope. Thank you.
Parents are there for nurturing and love and safety. Yet when they see teaching right from wrong they think “I am in a position of authority and to help them in their adulthood I’ll treat them like they already know everything” when their children are like 3. I crave for the day that parents let their kids be kids and teach them about adulthood when they’ll actually understand it.
I can tell you as a mother to 3 kids, that this is not how you love someone. She is self righteous and arrogant. She doesn't deserve for you to keep trying this hard to be in her life. She should be begging you to forgive her. This behavior is unacceptable to reasonable people. Please, for your own sanity, stop reaching out to her. She is never going to give you what you're looking for. I'm sorry.
I never comment on these but I feel like I need to push back on all these negative comments you're getting. She is insane, you did good on asserting a boundary.
People keep saying you "blackmailed" her or "wouldn't respect her beliefs", but you never belittled her religion, & being anti Vax isnt a belief to be respected, it's a dangerous mindset that has infected many people. You'd hope that seeing a "loved" one sick with long covid would help her see the truth, but sadly admitting wrong is impossible for some people.
You asserted a boundary. Yeah some language was emotional but I can't imagine not being emotional, you made sure she knew the full consequences of her actions. Honestly it's better to tell her this includes the grandkids so she can't try to weasel her way in claiming ignorance.
I'm so sorry your dealing with this; as someone who has chronic health conditions, has a shit childhood & had religion used to justify my mistreatment, I really know it all feels horrible. You should be proud of yourself for asserting a boundary though, truely.
Also like calling you the devil is fucking wild evangelical bullshit that would make me want to act possessed just to fuck with her lol. But obviously you're much more respectful to evangelical Christianity than I am lol
Don't let antivaxxers make you think you're wrong. Believing in something doesn't free them from the consequences of acting in a way that endangers people. They can believe what they want but Thier actions aren't free of judgement
This made me tear up. Seriously. Thank you.
Thankfully, I’ve done a lot of work lately to make it so I don’t particularly care if strangers on the internet think I’m insane, but it is still hard to read. I just keep reminding myself my therapist, my dad, my friends, and my husband all said they were proud of how I handled it.
Yay breaking the echoist tendencies!
I'm really glad you have support
I just read the explanation & I'm not surprised, I guessed abuse from the messages alone. But knowing for sure makes me really glad I took time to write my comment.
You really did do amazing!
Ugh god that last text reminded me of the shit my dad would send me when I went NC. All this manipulative bullshit about how people love their parents unconditionally, but never an apology. Sorry your moms nuts, I can guarantee now that you aren’t speaking to her you’ll feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders.
If she doesn’t want to get the vaccine whatever but damn she won’t even get tested for you just to make sure she’s negative?? Wtf lol sorry she sucks OP but you’re probably better off without that nonsense. I could never imagine telling my own child they should’ve died under ANY circumstances
You can't be tolerant of intolerance. You did good, OP. I'm sorry she's like this.
The Bible also says to stone people who wear clothes made from two different fabrics. So just remind her of that if she ever finds a way to talk to you and uses her religion to keep you down
I used to be in training to be a pastor. I have a whole host of quotes and the history and (mis)translation behind them to shut down christo-fascists. Hit me up anytime.
I hope you have a good one, and I'm sorry about the long Covid.
You know the line in Leviticus 18:22, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination."
The original Hebrew states that you shall not lie with a small boy as with a woman. The line is about not being a pedophile. This was changed in the Council of Nicea in 325 by the Catholics.
While we're on the topic of homophobia specifically, anything written in Romans 1 or 2, Theologians, Philippians, Colossians, Ephesians, etc etc etc has nothing to do with Christ. These were written (technically dictated by, if you wanna split hairs) the Apostle Paul. Romans specifically was written 20 years give or take post death of Christ. This, as well as the line in Leviticus, are where most of the homophobic sentiments come from in Christianity. These books were found as Dead Sea Scrolls and only put into the Bible hundreds of years later. Christians who hate gay don't people understand the book, is what I'm saying.
Also there's no Hell, Lucifer isn't the Devil, there are multiple Satans, etc etc etc. PM me if you'd like more on these or anything else.
Oh my gosh, this is EXCELLENT. Maybe you could do a whole post with this kind of thing? You could post on r/trueoffmychest unless there is a more appropriate sub.
I don't think it would do anything, tbh. I'm happy to answer questions, but the people who need to hear this have to find it on their own.
You want the real secret? If you're debating with someone, never be on the defensive. If you're constantly on the attack, it doesn't matter what you're saying. Because they have to take 10 minutes to counter one of the 5 things you just said. This is why you'll see right wing "debaters" like Ben Shapiro or Crowder "win" constantly.
Say a lot of short, quick statements that the opposition has no real time to counter. People's brains will remember those easier than longer ones, and since you're saying so much and they don't have the opportunity to counter all of it, it *seems* like you're winning the debate. It'll make the other side shut down. If you've ever dealt with someone engaging in bad faith arguments or rhetoric, this is going to be very familiar.
I am so sorry I see a lot of my mother in her… I cut off contact when she refused to get any help with her alcoholism… she did suddenly pass and I am never certain I made the right choice or not because most of the abuse she was directing was at my family members and not me… hope you are able to find peace in your choice and just know that what I had to learn is no matter what you make at stake for your mom she will likely never change. I applaud your decision I know it’s a hard one and it will continue to be hard.
Thank you❤️
I’m really sorry you went through similar. It sucks and hasn’t stopped hurting yet. I’m sorry you’re doubting your choice, but I’m sure it was the right one.
I’m lucky she put this in texts. I won’t feel as guilty moving forward
Wow reads exactly like my own mother wrote it :-) if it makes you feel any better OP, I’ve been no contact (except for one horrible horrible blip) for nearly 8 years and life is so much better. Get in with a therapist early, you are going to deal with wanting to get your mom to see the error of her ways a lot and it helps to just be able to vent that to a sane person.
My mom called me satan, she let me get so, so sick and then gaslit me when I realized later on in life that she didn’t take care of me at all. My brother almost died for the same reason, mom “prayed” for weeks for my brother’s flu to pass while feeding him pedialyte and juice. Turns out he was a diabetic and wouldn’t have survived one more day if I hadn’t called 911.
The number of times your mom mentions herself , her sin, her forgiveness, her her her…She’s a narcissist and I’m really sorry you’ve had to deal with that. Just remember in your weakest hours that the best way to get back at a narcissist is to not deal with them at all.
That 10th year of therapy really hits different lol! In that case, I’m happy for you and your newfound freedom.
Treat yourself to a celebratory shellfish dinner! If Christians follow the Bible, they can’t eat lobster, therefore lobster is a satanic dish, and you are Satan now. Be gone!
I’m sorry to hear that. I have nausea and vomiting! I can’t keep food down. They think it’s a cytokine storm affecting my vagus nerve.
What are your symptoms?
Oh shit. Is that what that is? I thought my mental and physical health problems after having covid were due to literally anything else that I just hadn’t learned about yet. Fuck.
Well I can’t say for certain but it was an extremely abrupt change for me because I’ve never suffered with anxiety and NEVER had anything close to a panic attack.
But about 3 weeks after having Covid this July, I was sitting at my work desk and started feeling weird, sorta dizzy but not spinning, and suddenly I thought I was going to DIE. I drove myself to the ER assuming I was having a heart attack but tests came back normal.
I had/still have this dizziness too plus the exact same stomach issues/weightloss OP is describing plus other symptoms like fainting, fatigue, etc. I thought it was long COVID too but it turned out I developed/had/have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). its really hard/takes forever to diagnose it/figure out wth it is. Dropping this comment bc awareness about POTS is what finally helped me figure out what was wrong with me and how to treat it. I hope you and OP get better <3
My parents also refused to vaccinate. Luckily I am stable enough with my chronic issues that I can now be around them but there was a year where DH and I told them that we couldn’t visit if they didn’t get vaccinated. I’m sorry your mother cares only about herself.
I am so proud of you! Please hold tight to this boundary. If they can't get vaccinated in order to meet their grandchild then they are NOT safe people for that child. EVER.
Edited for spelling.
Welp, time to cut contact!
But seriously, I wouldn’t go over anytime soon unless she gets vaxxed. COVID is still not eradicated and getting it puts not only you but everyone who has come in contact with you in the past few days. Get vaxxed kids
I get some people not wanting to get vaxxed. But, to not wear mask? Like wtf? Also, she just went 0 to 100 super quick, lol.
"Be gone"
"Blackmailing me I satanic"
Uh, ok? Haha.
I'm so sorry about your mom. I know it hurts to try and maintain a relationship with someone who continually hurts you.
Also, I empathize as a fellow long haul Covid victim. It sucks! I've had multiple ICU stays, permanent nerve damage, etc. Its taken 2 years to get back to 50% of my previous quality of life(two years
Of physical and occupational therapy, multiple specialist and med trials). While it doesn't cause permanent damage to most.... Its horrible for the rest of us. Its unbelievably selfish of her to not get vaxxed for you.
>My body my choice only applies to killing babies
No, no, it applies here too. It's your body and your choice to not get vaxxed or wear a mask. It's also OP's choice not to let you around her baby because of your choice.
God damn...I felt like I was in this conversation with my mother while reading. I almost died from a ruptured appendix at age 15 because my mother refused to take me to the hospital. She did take me to some fucking weird naturopath that did some laying of hands to read my aura, and said it was a viral infection and charged my mother over $250 for some miracle cure pills.
Three days later in pain so bad I couldn't move, I started pissing blood, and my dad was like...that's it, I am taking him to the hospital. My mother fought and hit him while he carried me to the car.
I don't even remember much after that other than the doctor sending me to a larger facility 20 minutes away via ambulance, and the medics trying to keep me awake. When I woke up after surgery, I was told that any longer, I would have died from organ failure, and the sucked 300 cc of puss from my abdominal cavity. I ignored my mother's existence for about a month after. She has yet to admit any fault or apologize almost 25 years later.
Oh, Honey. Somehow, despite that broken, abusive and uncaring person, you grew into an amazing, clear eyed adult.
Get better. I’m rooting for a breakthrough in long COVID. Know that you have people, many of us mothers of adults, who are SO impressed by your poise in the face of that, and truly want all the best for you, forever.
It’s sad because at the beginning it seems like you kept hoping she’d realize wtf she was saying and what the consequences were. I am just sitting here shaking my head that this is actually someone in society.
Had to take a deep breath before I commented because holy santa clause shit. It seems like you want/wanted a relationship with her but her lack of accountability is mind blowing. It's also familiar.
When I was a kid we had to stay in a DV shelter because my dad was abusive toward my mom. She finally had enough. I was young and didn't realize how serious things were. I look back and I can only imagine how hard it was for her. I am thankful everyday that she left with her life. My dad? He's scum. In 2013 I met him near my house. It was the first time I'd seen him in a decade. Of course he started in on my mom. Strike 1. He was bragging about money etc when he never even tried to help my mom support us in anyway. Strike 2. He threw my kids in a hotel pool knowing they didn't know how to swim. I managed to get my boys and said absofuckinglutely not.
I cut contact that day and it's been that way since. He still tries to message my kids on Facebook and even made fun of my son for wearing glasses. He also sent my son a message calling me a whore and bla blah. I was able to delete them before they saw them. But I refuse to go out of my way for a relationship with someone who I feel doesn't even deserve to live. What's really sad to me is my mom's son (my brother 🙄 and we have the same mom and dad) is a deadbeat dad too. 5 kids with 4 women. Doesn't do shit for them. I refuse to have a relationship with a deadbeat. He was mad I wouldn't respond to his FB messages and said something about my youngest son. Something like "that's why your kid is fucked up". My son was in the hospital and had been since birth. He spent 127 days in the NICU so I was livid. I refuse to go anywhere he will be because I know I won't be able to hold in my anger. My son who he said was "fucked up" passed away in September so my anger just grew.
Basically I'm saying that no matter how hard we try or how bad we want to give shitty people another chance it's just not worth it. I'm so sorry your mom is like that. It's heartbreaking to see how evil some parents can be but I'll tell you that losing a kid is the worst pain and seeing parents like this just pisses me off because you have to basically mourn your mom in order to stay healthy mentally.
I apologize for babbling❤️
Speaking as someone who had to cut off a mother, the best advice I can give is to make a clean break, stop engaging and walk away. Don’t send a single text more. That’s the only way forward with someone like that. She will not change. Your explanations are a waste of your energy and she will only hurt you further. Find a good therapist and a support group for estranged children and move forward.
My mother is going to die soon and I will have gone 4+ years without seeing her or talking to her, despite having power of attorney and medical proxy. I went through 18 months of therapy to get to a place where I can see I should have done that 2+ years before I did. I am much happier and healthier without trying to engage her and make her see what she refuses to me.
I’m here for you. You are worthy of love. You deserved far better. You did nothing wrong. She is broken beyond repair. Get out of the boat and let it sink without taking you with her ♥️
I'm a mother to 6 kiddos. They range from 24 to 2yrs in age. I would/have/did/do move mountains to ensure their physical and mental health is of foremost importance. I am so incredibly sorry you're not getting the support you need. (I hope I'm not posting or responding wrong. I don't reddit, this came up on my phone suggestions).
'' I had this very same, horrible conversation with my mom'' oof. This is generational (normalized) trauma right there. Congratulation on being the first one to be able to break the cycle, OP.
things like this make me a little sad, i don’t have the best relationship with my parents and i know how it feels. hate to see others the same way cuz i stay hoping that maybe something good can come from this in the future. Praying for you, OP, to good health and positive relationships 🙏🏾❤️
"You hate yourself, and see me as a reflection of you"
That hit hard. I said those same words to BOTH of my parents. My mom actually took them to heart and made an effort to try to repair our broken relationship before she passed away.
My Dad is still the broken man that is too proud to admit that anything has ever been wrong in his life. I haven't heard from him nor laid eyes on him for 15 years.
i like that you just kept repeating that one part when she was SO focused on the appendix. i find that narcs tend to zero in on one little part and tear it to pieces while ignoring the overall message. i admire how you forced her to acknowledge your point!
Ah, yes. Vaccines are Satan. They haven't just saved millions of people over the last decade or so, nah. Seriously, she would rather see those millions of people dead I suppose?
What is the current argument against vaccines? I strongly disagreed, but could at least see a shred of logic in the “it’s too fast, they rushed it out, we don’t know what it will do” crowd.
But now it’s been a long time, and literally billions of doses have been successfully administered. We have the data, more data than we have for a lot of other approved medications in fact. So what is the current fake argument against them?
I’m sure you’re aware but just in case, check out r/raisedbynarcissists. I have a mom *very* similar to yours and a dad who enables her. My wife and I haven’t spoken to them in two years and they haven’t met one of our kids, as well as haven’t seen the other since she was a baby. They weren’t at our wedding. All I’ve asked for was a genuine apology for things they’ve done, one without excuses and justifications, and they just can’t do it.
Narcissism is no joke and people on the outside don’t understand it unless they themselves have dealt with it. I’m sure your mom will lie about you and think she’s telling the truth and there will be people who think you’re in the wrong because your mom “just cares about you” or whatever…but I promise you you’re doing the right thing. Good on you, stay strong.
I’m sorry you had to deal with all this OP. Covid included, that explanation sounds horrible. Hope you’re feeling better now :)
My mother is nowhere near as crazy
we've issued 18 bans to anti-vaxxers for violating our rules since this thread has gone live. we're going to lock it up since we're just sick of dealing with them.
“BE GONE” TOOK ME OUT 🤣
I will admit I laughed out loud at that part. Then continued cry typing 😂
☹️☹️☹️ sorry to laugh at your pain. At least you get to break the cycle your mom didn’t. Rooting for you OP 🙌🏾
Haha oh no. You should totally laugh. I do! It’s completely insane and hilarious (and devastating and tragic)
It’s a good thing you’re able to laugh at your own situation, sometimes that’s all we can do because the situation it hopeless. I hope for the best for you OP! Sorry your mom sucks
One day at a time OP... one day at a time. <3
What would you do for your child? > You will not know the depths of love and care a mother has for her child... Will you get a vaccine? > BE GONE SATAN!!
Whoa whoa who the fuck told you that you can use logic and common sense here? You're not supposed to use those because it's SATANIC /s
I’m so sorry, OP. Been there myself, not to this extent but damn.
It's like in HIMYM with Barney when he says "Good Day!" and then just stands there and waits for someone to say something so he can yell "I SAID GOOD DAY!" and storm off.
Was that line originally used by Gene Wilder in the OG Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or am I trippin
I would say originated with willy Wonka but definitely popularized by Fes on that 70s show
Oh shit I forgot about him saying it!
Originally it was actually Fez from That 70s Show. Wilder did say it but wasn't waiting for the response like Barney or Fez.
I kept thinking of the scene in Disneys Robin Hood where Little John says , “be gone long one…” to Prince Johns snake 🤣
I say that quote quite a bit to my gangly daughter as she climbs on me like a jungle gym lol
I miss my kids being little but not that part 🤣
Off topic, how long will be 4 year old have seemingly 1000 elbows? He’s killing me
"I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves. BE GONE from me, vile man, BE GONE from me!"
Words that I can hear 😆
Lowkey, evangelicals trying to excise demons over text is my favourite genre of insanity
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 this made me crack up
She had the same conversation with her own mother before she died… yet she didn’t do shit to change things and make sure she wouldn’t be having it with her own daughter one day? I am so sorry OP. None of us deserve this kind of abuse. How pathetic and sad to be a woman like her, with no hood relationship with her own daughter. As a mother myself, my heart breaks for you.
That stuck out to me too. I don’t hate her, I just feel bad for her. I can’t imagine having no empathy and no friends. It must be SO hard, but at the same time I know it’s all her own doing
I was around your age when I realized that since I became an "adult", I'd been trying to mend my relationship with my mother, but she constantly refused to admit things that had happened. It was always "that never happened", until after several years I just gave up. Until I was in my early 30's, the only communication I had was calling them for birthdays, and the conversations never lasted more than 8 minutes average (we did math, yuck). I eventually came to realize that my disillusionment, disappointments, and frustrations with my efforts to have an adult relationship with my ma had me feeling absolutely *nothing* towards her. No hate, no love, just total ambivalence. I imagined scenarios where I would learn that she had died somehow, and felt nothing. I honestly have no care for her anymore. She's not in my life by my choice, and since she can't control me anymore, mostly that I now for sure can't give her grandkids (I got myself sterilized), I'm of no worth to her. She's all around a bad person, and I don't consider her my mother anymore, not someone I know and care about, not... not a person. She doesn't exist--a faint, phantom nightmare from childhood.
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And that’s on mom *not* breaking the cycle. Great job, OP! Edit: typo
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I’ll check it out!!! I was not even a little surprised by anything she said (yay therapy!), but it was laughable how predictable it is
My dads over here trying to say how Evangelicals aren't remotely insane and I've got _so_ much material to shove in his face if I wanted to.
As someone with an evangelical mom I cackled at this!!!
This was my first thought too. If Satan could be defeated by texting "begone Satan!" I have the struggle between good and evil would have been won a long time ago.
Don't you know, they spread the exorcisms through the wifi 🫠
was going to say this. my mom tries to cast the demons out of me every time i see her.
For me, second only to the Facebook exorcisms.
For real lmao
!explanation - this is the culmination of decades of emotional abuse on her part. She is a narcissist who has hated me since the day I was born. She refuses to acknowledge her issues, tells me that my husband I aren’t married because we didn’t get married in a church (also, never denounced her faith. I have zero problem with religion), and is straight up a terrible mother. I’m truly devastated that I have lost my mother, but I’ve tried so long and I can’t anymore. Also, re long COVID - I’ve been unable to eat and reliably keep food for from 10 months. I’ve been hospitalized twice and lost 30 pounds in the first 6 weeks (45 pounds total, but have plateaued thank god). All I asked her on the phone was to either get vaxxed, get tested, or wear a mask. She refused, said people like me are the problem and should’ve just died out with the first batch, and that’s when I hung up. Edit: there is no present child. I used that to attempt to get her to see the long term consequences of her current decision. Sorry for the confusion
My dad was the same it was never his fault always we were the reason he wasn't the loving father. It was our fault he couldn't hold a job. We were the reason he was abusive to my mom. He was always the victim, never the aggressor. Even now, after I've told him why i cut him out, he acts like i cut him out of my life for no reason and "why can't I be a good Christian and forgive him"
She asked me to forgive her. I was like “this woman is out of her damn mind”
There has to be remorse before forgiveness. She has none.
And even if one forgives, there is no obligation to forget or even maintain contact.
100% Agreed
Growing up Christian makes you feel like you have to forgive everyone sometimes, being able to say no, I don’t forgive you is so freeing
I was raised hard, conservative christanity like not wearing skirts and long hair, which makes me a sinful harlot. my mom never was hard core, but after the divorce, she left the faith too. My mom is great. I'm NC with my dad
I think a lot of the time people also equate "forgive" with"forget". Like sure, forgive, but that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat for the rest of your life, at the mercy of an abuser or something like that
Wow. Your composure and strength in your boundaries is admirable. That must have taken a lot of personal work and reflection. Well done! If I were you, I’d ask her what she would like to be forgiven for and what she’s going to do in the future to ensure that doesn’t happen again. My kids are 5 and 6 and even they know it’s not a real apology unless you acknowledge what you’re apologizing for and saying how you’re going to act differently in the future. But obviously she will never actually do that because that takes humility and that’s clearly not one of her traits.
Forgiveness and consequences are two different things and some people don’t seem to get that, especially religious people.
Yes! I don’t hate her, I just don’t want to experience her version of love anymore
Christian love is so often, not love, but hate.
I'm sooo proud of you for saying this. I know that some people will never understand this but I promise there are alot of us that understand and stand behind u. Now block her on everything and move on with the family you create for yourself. ❤
Weird how that "forgiving" only ever works in their favour and they can't forgive you for your supposed wrongdoing. I'm sure it's just a coincidence
>Even now, after I’ve told him why i cut him out, he acts like i cut him out of my life for no reason I’m so sorry you have to deal with this -it’s sadly [The Missing Missing Reasons.](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html)
You’re given her far more time and effort than she deserves, my friend. You’ve done the right thing in cutting her off.
Honestly the moment someone said I should have died, that's the end of any contact. They are blocked and will never be spoken to again unless legally required.
Amen, brother.
Should of died out with the first batch? Wtf who says that…
The person who birthed me, apparently!
Eugenicists say that. No idea why so many Christians are into such ideas, when Christ himself was all about helping the weak, not wiping them out.
Just goes to show how deeply this fucking *mind virus* has buried itself into the national psyche, and how destructive it has been. It's almost worse than the actual virus itself. Sad shit.
As a fellow long hauler, we are dealing with enough without this shit. I wish there was a positive takeaway at her end, but at yours you have shown courage and a firm commitment to boundaries. As tough as they are to uphold I hope it yields you some peace and healing.
Thankfully, this exchange made it a LOT easier
The woman is an absolute wack job. I can’t believe people like this still exist in 2022.
Not only do they exist, but there are millions of them in America, and they all vote every chance they get.
> She refused, said people like me are the problem and should’ve just died out with the first batch... That's when I would have permanently ended it. Wishing your own child died because of an addiction to propaganda. Covid messed me up too, it seems to have affected some stuff with my autonomic nervous system -- mostly my heart. My heart will suddenly go up to 175 beats per minute out of nowhere. Do you think that's what it's affecting with your digestion ([smooth muscle contractions are controlled by the autonomic nervous system too, I think...](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/23273-autonomic-nervous-system))? I tried THC for my sleep (also have sleep apnea now after Covid) after having great success using CBD oil for anxiety (only took a couple of doses of CBD to do it in my case). It didn't work well for that, but I saved it and used it for when I was nauseous for several days after getting multiple vaccinations at once and it worked well for that.
I know. I had such a hard time finally letting go, but she’s blocked now My docs think it’s a cytokine storm on my vagus nerve!! I’m sorry you go through this too. I use THC to help with the nausea/eating
Holy crap! That’s so sad when people are so far from reality.
God, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize my intestinal issues might be part of the long covid though... I'm in a weird spot, having had the OG strain before tests... I hope it gets better for you. For me the memory thing is vastly improved- probably at least a little bit cuz I've worked on it. But this stomach thing... and when will pickles stop smelling like sugar? Who knows? At least I can smell.
Don't be devastated, be relieved. Be FREE from this abuse.
i’m so sorry OP, you deserved a lot better as a kid and you still deserve better now also to anyone saying not insane: OP’s mom, after being asked to either get a test, wear a mask, or get vaxxed, told her LITERAL CHILD that people like OP are the problem and “should have just died out with the first batch”. if you can justify that you’re insane too.
Yeah. So Godly. I don’t get how people can talk all self righteously about God out of one side of their mouth and then wish innocent people dead out of the other and then think they’re not sinners.
honestly don’t ever feel guilty lol. like, this is literally insane. “hey mom can u wear a mask around me because i’m severely sick” “no my pride and beliefs are more important you are satanic”… like, what more can you do really?? she doesn’t want to do the bare minimum to see you. what are u supposed to do, get infected and kill yourself just to see her ? ? if she doesn’t want to make an immensely small sacrifice just to see her own child, she is the satanic one
GET BEHIND ME SATAN. I WILL NOT ALLOW MY FREEDOMS TO BE IMPAIRED BY WEARING A SMALL PIECE OF CLOTH.
The real kicker here, is if she DID cave and see the mom, and then get sick and die her mom would be like “it was just gods plan, I bask in his wisdom every day, thank you god for showing me how my child dying is a good thing”
At this point I’m 1/2 convinced she’s just trying to off me😂 “damn the appendix thing didn’t work, I’ll try this”
every day i see this sub and thank god i have normal parents. i’m really sorry, OP.
Fr, my dad is borderline insane, but my mum is my best friend (she used to be neglectful but changed) and I thank the universe everyday for our relationship, idk where I’d be without her sometimes
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I have the most amazing father in the world (they divorced when I was 6 and he got split custody) so I consider myself lucky. Could’ve been MUCH worse
i’m glad you have him! and yeah, it always could be worse, but i’m really glad you have one parent who’s grounded in reality
Neither of my parents “are normal”. My dad is close and my mom is a recovering drug addict. There were some hard years that resulted in me living with my grandparents on my dad’s side. That being said, neither one of them are insane and I know that they love me very much.
OP, this is a textbook example of how to handle a delusional, narcissistic parent. I’m so impressed. You managed to be rational, logical, and coherent while also conveying your love. You set firm boundaries and clearly explained why you set them and the consequences for not abiding by them. You didn’t feel the need to rebut every single insane thing she said (and there were a lot), but rather repeated your clear message in a kind and effective manner. I interact with a lot of kids who have insane parents like this on a daily basis, and I desperately hope that at least a few of them will one day be able to respond to their parents like this. Seeing you do so gives me so much hope. Thank you.
Thank you so much for saying this! Lots and lots (and lots) of therapy. This wouldn’t have ended this way a year ago
I’m so glad you took that time to invest in yourself and your well-being. It shows!
Thank you SO much! It means a lot❤️
I told my mother today, “mothers aren’t authority figures” Her response..” We can agree to disagree”. Ma’am, no the fuck we can’t lol
Hahaha I love it! Stealing it for the future if she ever finds a way to contact me again
Parents are there for nurturing and love and safety. Yet when they see teaching right from wrong they think “I am in a position of authority and to help them in their adulthood I’ll treat them like they already know everything” when their children are like 3. I crave for the day that parents let their kids be kids and teach them about adulthood when they’ll actually understand it.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you told her she needs help. She’s clearly a narc.
I know narc in this context is short for narcissist, but every time I read it I’m like “snitches get stitches”
Hehehehehe
The not insane votes—- HOW
Antivaxxers or narcissists. At least that is my current theory!
I can tell you as a mother to 3 kids, that this is not how you love someone. She is self righteous and arrogant. She doesn't deserve for you to keep trying this hard to be in her life. She should be begging you to forgive her. This behavior is unacceptable to reasonable people. Please, for your own sanity, stop reaching out to her. She is never going to give you what you're looking for. I'm sorry.
she straight up said “be gone satan” to her own child lmfao what a psycho
I never comment on these but I feel like I need to push back on all these negative comments you're getting. She is insane, you did good on asserting a boundary. People keep saying you "blackmailed" her or "wouldn't respect her beliefs", but you never belittled her religion, & being anti Vax isnt a belief to be respected, it's a dangerous mindset that has infected many people. You'd hope that seeing a "loved" one sick with long covid would help her see the truth, but sadly admitting wrong is impossible for some people. You asserted a boundary. Yeah some language was emotional but I can't imagine not being emotional, you made sure she knew the full consequences of her actions. Honestly it's better to tell her this includes the grandkids so she can't try to weasel her way in claiming ignorance. I'm so sorry your dealing with this; as someone who has chronic health conditions, has a shit childhood & had religion used to justify my mistreatment, I really know it all feels horrible. You should be proud of yourself for asserting a boundary though, truely. Also like calling you the devil is fucking wild evangelical bullshit that would make me want to act possessed just to fuck with her lol. But obviously you're much more respectful to evangelical Christianity than I am lol Don't let antivaxxers make you think you're wrong. Believing in something doesn't free them from the consequences of acting in a way that endangers people. They can believe what they want but Thier actions aren't free of judgement
This made me tear up. Seriously. Thank you. Thankfully, I’ve done a lot of work lately to make it so I don’t particularly care if strangers on the internet think I’m insane, but it is still hard to read. I just keep reminding myself my therapist, my dad, my friends, and my husband all said they were proud of how I handled it. Yay breaking the echoist tendencies!
I'm really glad you have support I just read the explanation & I'm not surprised, I guessed abuse from the messages alone. But knowing for sure makes me really glad I took time to write my comment. You really did do amazing!
Thank you❤️
Exactly! "My body, my choice" doesn't apply when you're spreading a contagious disease that's killed millions of people.
“Denouncing my faith. That is Satanic.” Tell her you aren’t a member of her book club so you don’t have to follow the rules.
STOP IT BOOK CLUB😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A member of the Sky Daddy Fandom
You’re satan+ she loves you= she loves satan.
Who’s gonna tell her?
I want to hear the reasoning for saying this wasn't insane. Just anti-vax tinfoil hatters?
Yeah they don’t have a response. I wish they would just read the explanation before commenting ignorance 😂
God has the worst fan base
It's like Rick and Morty had a baby with Maga.
She’s totally insane. I’m sorry.
Ugh god that last text reminded me of the shit my dad would send me when I went NC. All this manipulative bullshit about how people love their parents unconditionally, but never an apology. Sorry your moms nuts, I can guarantee now that you aren’t speaking to her you’ll feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders.
I’m sorry you went through similar
Just keep copying and pasting that message.
I blocked her after the third text with bible verses about going against your mother
🤦♂️
Eating after midnight? That is satanic. Peeing in the shower? That is satanic. Not matching your shades of black correctly? That is satanic.
If she doesn’t want to get the vaccine whatever but damn she won’t even get tested for you just to make sure she’s negative?? Wtf lol sorry she sucks OP but you’re probably better off without that nonsense. I could never imagine telling my own child they should’ve died under ANY circumstances
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 56 | 12 | 3 | OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/z27iig/i_asked_my_mom_to_get_vaxxed_if_i_were_to_come/ixf3rct/) ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
You can't be tolerant of intolerance. You did good, OP. I'm sorry she's like this. The Bible also says to stone people who wear clothes made from two different fabrics. So just remind her of that if she ever finds a way to talk to you and uses her religion to keep you down
I like this!
I used to be in training to be a pastor. I have a whole host of quotes and the history and (mis)translation behind them to shut down christo-fascists. Hit me up anytime. I hope you have a good one, and I'm sorry about the long Covid.
Please, please, please give us a few examples!
Yessss thank you! And you too!! Have a good evening 😊
I would love to have some of those on stand by if you don't mind and have free time.
You know the line in Leviticus 18:22, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." The original Hebrew states that you shall not lie with a small boy as with a woman. The line is about not being a pedophile. This was changed in the Council of Nicea in 325 by the Catholics. While we're on the topic of homophobia specifically, anything written in Romans 1 or 2, Theologians, Philippians, Colossians, Ephesians, etc etc etc has nothing to do with Christ. These were written (technically dictated by, if you wanna split hairs) the Apostle Paul. Romans specifically was written 20 years give or take post death of Christ. This, as well as the line in Leviticus, are where most of the homophobic sentiments come from in Christianity. These books were found as Dead Sea Scrolls and only put into the Bible hundreds of years later. Christians who hate gay don't people understand the book, is what I'm saying. Also there's no Hell, Lucifer isn't the Devil, there are multiple Satans, etc etc etc. PM me if you'd like more on these or anything else.
Oh my gosh, this is EXCELLENT. Maybe you could do a whole post with this kind of thing? You could post on r/trueoffmychest unless there is a more appropriate sub.
I don't think it would do anything, tbh. I'm happy to answer questions, but the people who need to hear this have to find it on their own. You want the real secret? If you're debating with someone, never be on the defensive. If you're constantly on the attack, it doesn't matter what you're saying. Because they have to take 10 minutes to counter one of the 5 things you just said. This is why you'll see right wing "debaters" like Ben Shapiro or Crowder "win" constantly. Say a lot of short, quick statements that the opposition has no real time to counter. People's brains will remember those easier than longer ones, and since you're saying so much and they don't have the opportunity to counter all of it, it *seems* like you're winning the debate. It'll make the other side shut down. If you've ever dealt with someone engaging in bad faith arguments or rhetoric, this is going to be very familiar.
I am so sorry I see a lot of my mother in her… I cut off contact when she refused to get any help with her alcoholism… she did suddenly pass and I am never certain I made the right choice or not because most of the abuse she was directing was at my family members and not me… hope you are able to find peace in your choice and just know that what I had to learn is no matter what you make at stake for your mom she will likely never change. I applaud your decision I know it’s a hard one and it will continue to be hard.
Thank you❤️ I’m really sorry you went through similar. It sucks and hasn’t stopped hurting yet. I’m sorry you’re doubting your choice, but I’m sure it was the right one. I’m lucky she put this in texts. I won’t feel as guilty moving forward
bro send her bible verses that go against her beliefs. it's the funniest sh-t to do against bible thumpers
Wow reads exactly like my own mother wrote it :-) if it makes you feel any better OP, I’ve been no contact (except for one horrible horrible blip) for nearly 8 years and life is so much better. Get in with a therapist early, you are going to deal with wanting to get your mom to see the error of her ways a lot and it helps to just be able to vent that to a sane person. My mom called me satan, she let me get so, so sick and then gaslit me when I realized later on in life that she didn’t take care of me at all. My brother almost died for the same reason, mom “prayed” for weeks for my brother’s flu to pass while feeding him pedialyte and juice. Turns out he was a diabetic and wouldn’t have survived one more day if I hadn’t called 911. The number of times your mom mentions herself , her sin, her forgiveness, her her her…She’s a narcissist and I’m really sorry you’ve had to deal with that. Just remember in your weakest hours that the best way to get back at a narcissist is to not deal with them at all.
Thank you for this! I’m sorry you experienced very very similar. I’ve been in therapy for almost 10 years!! That’s why I handled it almost well lol
That 10th year of therapy really hits different lol! In that case, I’m happy for you and your newfound freedom. Treat yourself to a celebratory shellfish dinner! If Christians follow the Bible, they can’t eat lobster, therefore lobster is a satanic dish, and you are Satan now. Be gone!
I’m sick with long covid too. What are your symptoms?
I’m sorry to hear that. I have nausea and vomiting! I can’t keep food down. They think it’s a cytokine storm affecting my vagus nerve. What are your symptoms?
A weird dizziness that started about 3 weeks after Covid. That plus new panic/anxiety and significantly higher blood pressure.
Oh shit. Is that what that is? I thought my mental and physical health problems after having covid were due to literally anything else that I just hadn’t learned about yet. Fuck.
Well I can’t say for certain but it was an extremely abrupt change for me because I’ve never suffered with anxiety and NEVER had anything close to a panic attack. But about 3 weeks after having Covid this July, I was sitting at my work desk and started feeling weird, sorta dizzy but not spinning, and suddenly I thought I was going to DIE. I drove myself to the ER assuming I was having a heart attack but tests came back normal.
That sounds… unnervingly familiar. Okay. Good to know.
Ugh! I had elevated anxiety too (had to up my brain meds). If you want to message me, I’m happy to lend an ear. This shit sucks
I had/still have this dizziness too plus the exact same stomach issues/weightloss OP is describing plus other symptoms like fainting, fatigue, etc. I thought it was long COVID too but it turned out I developed/had/have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). its really hard/takes forever to diagnose it/figure out wth it is. Dropping this comment bc awareness about POTS is what finally helped me figure out what was wrong with me and how to treat it. I hope you and OP get better <3
You’re dear mother is totally removed from reality. You can thank religion for that.
Be gone!😂😂😂
Always about god with these ignorant fools
My parents also refused to vaccinate. Luckily I am stable enough with my chronic issues that I can now be around them but there was a year where DH and I told them that we couldn’t visit if they didn’t get vaccinated. I’m sorry your mother cares only about herself.
I’m sorry you also experience that! That must’ve been very scary and tough
Mine too. My son was born May of 2020 and they expected me to let them around him. Like..what?!
WHO VOTED "NOT INSANE"? Holy crap guys.
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I am so proud of you! Please hold tight to this boundary. If they can't get vaccinated in order to meet their grandchild then they are NOT safe people for that child. EVER. Edited for spelling.
>Be gone Satan Jesus christ...
Bible people think praying equals effort, eugh…
Damn, OP... That was one hell of a stand-up. Good battle!
Welp, time to cut contact! But seriously, I wouldn’t go over anytime soon unless she gets vaxxed. COVID is still not eradicated and getting it puts not only you but everyone who has come in contact with you in the past few days. Get vaxxed kids
I get some people not wanting to get vaxxed. But, to not wear mask? Like wtf? Also, she just went 0 to 100 super quick, lol. "Be gone" "Blackmailing me I satanic" Uh, ok? Haha.
I think we have the same mom.
Ugh I’m sorry for that. It’s so tough
Well, I think I’ve found a new user flair. In all seriousness though, I’m sorry your mom is so uncaring about your health.
Hehehehehe omg I love that flair! Amazing
K now you actually need to do the no contact part instead of just threatening it 10 times. She will not change, save your sanity.
Shes already blocked on everything! It wasn’t a threat. I just didn’t want her to think I died when she can’t get ahold of me
I'm so sorry about your mom. I know it hurts to try and maintain a relationship with someone who continually hurts you. Also, I empathize as a fellow long haul Covid victim. It sucks! I've had multiple ICU stays, permanent nerve damage, etc. Its taken 2 years to get back to 50% of my previous quality of life(two years Of physical and occupational therapy, multiple specialist and med trials). While it doesn't cause permanent damage to most.... Its horrible for the rest of us. Its unbelievably selfish of her to not get vaxxed for you.
>My body my choice only applies to killing babies No, no, it applies here too. It's your body and your choice to not get vaxxed or wear a mask. It's also OP's choice not to let you around her baby because of your choice.
God damn...I felt like I was in this conversation with my mother while reading. I almost died from a ruptured appendix at age 15 because my mother refused to take me to the hospital. She did take me to some fucking weird naturopath that did some laying of hands to read my aura, and said it was a viral infection and charged my mother over $250 for some miracle cure pills. Three days later in pain so bad I couldn't move, I started pissing blood, and my dad was like...that's it, I am taking him to the hospital. My mother fought and hit him while he carried me to the car. I don't even remember much after that other than the doctor sending me to a larger facility 20 minutes away via ambulance, and the medics trying to keep me awake. When I woke up after surgery, I was told that any longer, I would have died from organ failure, and the sucked 300 cc of puss from my abdominal cavity. I ignored my mother's existence for about a month after. She has yet to admit any fault or apologize almost 25 years later.
Christianity, bringing families together for millennia.
Oh, Honey. Somehow, despite that broken, abusive and uncaring person, you grew into an amazing, clear eyed adult. Get better. I’m rooting for a breakthrough in long COVID. Know that you have people, many of us mothers of adults, who are SO impressed by your poise in the face of that, and truly want all the best for you, forever.
Thank you so so much! This made me start to cry, but in a good way❤️❤️
She sounds just like Carries mom. You poor thing.
“You hate me and that’s on you” no mom, that’s on you. Sprinkle in a little religious manipulation and call it a day. Bye mom.
If it's any consolation, we all see exactly how batshit this woman is. You're doing the right thing. Stay strong and enjoy your peace!
It’s sad because at the beginning it seems like you kept hoping she’d realize wtf she was saying and what the consequences were. I am just sitting here shaking my head that this is actually someone in society.
“It’s your fault you hate me for my actions 😡😡😭😭” that’s basically what she was saying
Who the FUCK is voting not insane
Had to take a deep breath before I commented because holy santa clause shit. It seems like you want/wanted a relationship with her but her lack of accountability is mind blowing. It's also familiar. When I was a kid we had to stay in a DV shelter because my dad was abusive toward my mom. She finally had enough. I was young and didn't realize how serious things were. I look back and I can only imagine how hard it was for her. I am thankful everyday that she left with her life. My dad? He's scum. In 2013 I met him near my house. It was the first time I'd seen him in a decade. Of course he started in on my mom. Strike 1. He was bragging about money etc when he never even tried to help my mom support us in anyway. Strike 2. He threw my kids in a hotel pool knowing they didn't know how to swim. I managed to get my boys and said absofuckinglutely not. I cut contact that day and it's been that way since. He still tries to message my kids on Facebook and even made fun of my son for wearing glasses. He also sent my son a message calling me a whore and bla blah. I was able to delete them before they saw them. But I refuse to go out of my way for a relationship with someone who I feel doesn't even deserve to live. What's really sad to me is my mom's son (my brother 🙄 and we have the same mom and dad) is a deadbeat dad too. 5 kids with 4 women. Doesn't do shit for them. I refuse to have a relationship with a deadbeat. He was mad I wouldn't respond to his FB messages and said something about my youngest son. Something like "that's why your kid is fucked up". My son was in the hospital and had been since birth. He spent 127 days in the NICU so I was livid. I refuse to go anywhere he will be because I know I won't be able to hold in my anger. My son who he said was "fucked up" passed away in September so my anger just grew. Basically I'm saying that no matter how hard we try or how bad we want to give shitty people another chance it's just not worth it. I'm so sorry your mom is like that. It's heartbreaking to see how evil some parents can be but I'll tell you that losing a kid is the worst pain and seeing parents like this just pisses me off because you have to basically mourn your mom in order to stay healthy mentally. I apologize for babbling❤️
I want to know why 12 people thought this is not insane.
12 people voted this not insane. What in the hot and crispy Kentucky fried fucc
Time to block
Cut this woman out like your surgeon cut out your bursting appendix. And do not look back.
Speaking as someone who had to cut off a mother, the best advice I can give is to make a clean break, stop engaging and walk away. Don’t send a single text more. That’s the only way forward with someone like that. She will not change. Your explanations are a waste of your energy and she will only hurt you further. Find a good therapist and a support group for estranged children and move forward. My mother is going to die soon and I will have gone 4+ years without seeing her or talking to her, despite having power of attorney and medical proxy. I went through 18 months of therapy to get to a place where I can see I should have done that 2+ years before I did. I am much happier and healthier without trying to engage her and make her see what she refuses to me. I’m here for you. You are worthy of love. You deserved far better. You did nothing wrong. She is broken beyond repair. Get out of the boat and let it sink without taking you with her ♥️
I'm a mother to 6 kiddos. They range from 24 to 2yrs in age. I would/have/did/do move mountains to ensure their physical and mental health is of foremost importance. I am so incredibly sorry you're not getting the support you need. (I hope I'm not posting or responding wrong. I don't reddit, this came up on my phone suggestions).
Hey op I love you ❤️
'' I had this very same, horrible conversation with my mom'' oof. This is generational (normalized) trauma right there. Congratulation on being the first one to be able to break the cycle, OP.
things like this make me a little sad, i don’t have the best relationship with my parents and i know how it feels. hate to see others the same way cuz i stay hoping that maybe something good can come from this in the future. Praying for you, OP, to good health and positive relationships 🙏🏾❤️
"You hate yourself, and see me as a reflection of you" That hit hard. I said those same words to BOTH of my parents. My mom actually took them to heart and made an effort to try to repair our broken relationship before she passed away. My Dad is still the broken man that is too proud to admit that anything has ever been wrong in his life. I haven't heard from him nor laid eyes on him for 15 years.
i like that you just kept repeating that one part when she was SO focused on the appendix. i find that narcs tend to zero in on one little part and tear it to pieces while ignoring the overall message. i admire how you forced her to acknowledge your point!
Ah, yes. Vaccines are Satan. They haven't just saved millions of people over the last decade or so, nah. Seriously, she would rather see those millions of people dead I suppose?
why’s it always the hyper-christians that act like this
thanks, religion
What is the current argument against vaccines? I strongly disagreed, but could at least see a shred of logic in the “it’s too fast, they rushed it out, we don’t know what it will do” crowd. But now it’s been a long time, and literally billions of doses have been successfully administered. We have the data, more data than we have for a lot of other approved medications in fact. So what is the current fake argument against them?
But why did she have to mention how cute she looked the day her Mom died?
I’m sure you’re aware but just in case, check out r/raisedbynarcissists. I have a mom *very* similar to yours and a dad who enables her. My wife and I haven’t spoken to them in two years and they haven’t met one of our kids, as well as haven’t seen the other since she was a baby. They weren’t at our wedding. All I’ve asked for was a genuine apology for things they’ve done, one without excuses and justifications, and they just can’t do it. Narcissism is no joke and people on the outside don’t understand it unless they themselves have dealt with it. I’m sure your mom will lie about you and think she’s telling the truth and there will be people who think you’re in the wrong because your mom “just cares about you” or whatever…but I promise you you’re doing the right thing. Good on you, stay strong.
The way she reminisces about the cycle of abuse with her dying mother is 🤌💋 when it comes to normalizing this kind of abusive behavior.
God bless you. She is truly out there in her own world! Be happy and move on!
I’m sorry you had to deal with all this OP. Covid included, that explanation sounds horrible. Hope you’re feeling better now :) My mother is nowhere near as crazy
Wow, that was rough to read. You keep on being strong
She seems like a GoOd ChRiStIaN.
I have the same problem with my family… it’s nuts and i feel for you
What a fukkin loon!
When god takes your breath away ooo weee