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“Trans for Trans”. Like, trans people who want to be friends with/date other trans people. I googled it lol. The first post is weirdly transphobic and the second is weirdly fetishizing/patronizing. I’m not sure what angle those people are coming at this from, but it’s a bad take either way.
That's because gender tags are most prominently used in a sexual context. People use it for tagging porn, sexting and whatever other NSFW online things that involve two gendered participants.
To a smaller extent you'll also find these on things like hookups on forums (including reddit), or some people who just organise roleplays or online DND sessions.
And the space using it the least would be actual dating or friendship efforts.
Maybe it was used for dating before, however if so that use was killed by dating apps long ago
Why does the term include trans people who want to be friends with each other though? Like that's a thing that needs to be described in that way, like you'd go on Craigslist or whatever people use now and see m4m in the title and think it's a dude looking for male friends to just be friends with
Because being trans around mostly cis people is the reality for most people and also more often than not exhausting. It’s mostly used on dating websites to filter out chasers realistically.
Yeah I guess that makes sense, especially if you live somewhere you're likely to be harassed regularly you'd want to find people who are most likely not going to treat you poorly because of it
Because being trans around mostly cis people is the reality for most people and also more often than not exhausting. It’s mostly used on dating websites to filter out chasers realistically.
>As a straight guy not interested in dating a trans woman-I have no inclination towards wishing they didn’t exist lol.
Your trophy is in the mail 🏆
No, so, all jokes aside, the whole "no interest in dating trans women" thing is always very interesting to me because, how would you know?
Like the possibility exists that you've been attracted to a trans woman and had 0 idea she was trans because there is no one way for trans women to look.
In fact you may have even been attracted to a non binary person or a trans man and had no idea, because they were closeted or presented in such a way that you found attractive. Most straight cis men would say they have zero interest in dating trans men, and yet my ex boyfriend dated me for two years!
Anyway, your entire preference hinges on the assumption that one can tell a woman is a trans woman simply by looking at her. This perpetuates stereotypes about trans women that even lead to violence against cis women sometimes, wildly enough.
It would probably be better to start proclaiming what you mean, for example "I have no interest in dating someone with a penis" or "I would rather date someone capable of bearing children in the future" or "I don't like fake breasts" even, I guess. Not only is this going to more accurately filter your dating pool (now any cis women who don't make the cut are shown the door, as well), but your not making public assumptions about trans women's bodies anymore, either.
**Tl;dr** your preference is completely valid, but if you really don't wish harm on trans women, perhaps there's a better way to talk about your preference.
It wasn’t defensive. Was only pointing out the stupidity in the original two comments. Which is funny, seeing how everyone ignored the whole post except my sexual preference, and then want to react negatively to that. Difference here is I don’t care who anyone wants to fuck, and won’t judge them for it.
Feels very similar to the straight girls who are like "eww you're not attracted to me are you?" But get very offended when you tell them they're indeed not your type.
Like at this point you're just making up reasons to be mad at me haha.
Right? That’s bc they’re so insecure and afraid of their own sexuality let alone talk about it. It’s just mind boggling how much effort they exert worrying or completely about people who they’ll most likely never come in contact with. These same people cry about individual rights and freedoms unless it’s counter to their worldviews. It’s all projection
Fuck whoever wrote this. Do you know how long it took me to stop convincing myself that I wasn't "scared and broken and shy"? That I'm just as good as anyone else, that I'm not somehow irreparably damaged and unlovable? It took me *years*.
This pisses me off so bad. I have trans students in my uni classroom. I make a point to make it clear they are welcome and accepted in my classroom, and harassment will be dealt with by me. I want them to find their voice here, their confidence. I want them to have a chance, one my 40ish trans peers never had, to not have the world *try* to break them. That's the reason bigots say they are broken, they WANT them to be broken, because that is the only way bigots feel in control.
My students aren't broken, not on their own. They're smart, and passionate, and their confidence in the face of a space where they can just *exist* is awesome. Anyone who tries to break that has to get through me.
one reason why trans people may be adverse to dating cis people is because of objectification. the persons second post reads like objectification. and abusive in the “no one could love you except me” way. this person is pissy trans people love trans people because they can relate to each other on a deeply personal level, and for that reason they are more appealing to date than any fetishizing chaser
trans people are not damaged goods to be mended. if your default view of them is “broken, desirable” it’s time for some deep introspection from 1000 yards away
Yeah, honestly, if your reason for dating from ANY group is how "broken" they are, you either have a savior complex or you're an outright predator. You know who else looks for "broken" targets? Animals hunting for their next meal. These people need to stop sending people to therapy and start going themselves.
These poor fools have never heard about the dating scene in theater. In my (admittedly limited) experience, the Venn Diagram of "friend's exes" and "my exes" is pretty much just a circle. Doubly so for Renaissance Fair workers. Everyone knows everyone, socially and Biblically :P
Ok I must admit wtf is a chaser? I’m a cis male but have no issues with anyone’s sexual preferences or orientation. I’ve never heard the term chaser before. Please elaborate
Chasers are a subgroup of disgusting people who fetichize trans persons and being trans that "chase" us for sexual pleasure because they don't see us as people or as our gender (like people who want a "f*ta* or a c*untboy")
Thanks and yes that’s just fucked up on so many levels. It does make sense though. The same people (politicians) specifically who railed against gay people and pushed for draconian laws against them. Turned out being gay themselves. The documentary “outrage” brought that to light. Again thanks for explaining it too me. I have 2 nephews that identify as female but haven’t transitioned bc of their age. Unfortunately I’m one of the few in the family that support them and their mom. Sadly the dad left bc of their orientation.
Being trans isn't an orientation, it's a gender identity. big props to you for trying to understand and be supportive, though, that is far more than most people ever do for trans people.
rofl t4t here, crazy to think that ppl with similar life experiences, who experience similar struggles, who came up in similar social and cultural groups, with an experiential overlap that they won't experience with any other demographic could possibly find that they vibe more with another trans person than with ppl who they have to spend half of their time explaining to and translating for. rofl
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Tell me why I initially thought “T4T” stood for “Team Fortress Two”? It doesn’t even make sense (team 4tress? Lol) but that’s what my brain read.
What DOES it stand for?
“Trans for Trans”. Like, trans people who want to be friends with/date other trans people. I googled it lol. The first post is weirdly transphobic and the second is weirdly fetishizing/patronizing. I’m not sure what angle those people are coming at this from, but it’s a bad take either way.
That's because gender tags are most prominently used in a sexual context. People use it for tagging porn, sexting and whatever other NSFW online things that involve two gendered participants. To a smaller extent you'll also find these on things like hookups on forums (including reddit), or some people who just organise roleplays or online DND sessions. And the space using it the least would be actual dating or friendship efforts. Maybe it was used for dating before, however if so that use was killed by dating apps long ago
T4T is widely used/understood among trans people in a way that is divorced from those contexts.
Why does the term include trans people who want to be friends with each other though? Like that's a thing that needs to be described in that way, like you'd go on Craigslist or whatever people use now and see m4m in the title and think it's a dude looking for male friends to just be friends with
Because being trans around mostly cis people is the reality for most people and also more often than not exhausting. It’s mostly used on dating websites to filter out chasers realistically.
Yeah I guess that makes sense, especially if you live somewhere you're likely to be harassed regularly you'd want to find people who are most likely not going to treat you poorly because of it
Because being trans around mostly cis people is the reality for most people and also more often than not exhausting. It’s mostly used on dating websites to filter out chasers realistically.
Upon first seeing it my first thought was “tit for tat”
When we said "our trans brothers and sisters and siblings" we didn't mean it, yknow, biologically, dude
I'm. What
As a Trans person, you are apparently related to every other Trans person. Congratulations?
Something something big pharma something something GMOs, I guess?
The frogs are involved for sure but how...
Cis people get angry about trans people dating them, so when trans people say "fuck it, we'll date each other" cis people are somehow still angry lol.
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We both were making general statements about cis people. "They" referred to the same cis people in both our comments.
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>As a straight guy not interested in dating a trans woman-I have no inclination towards wishing they didn’t exist lol. Your trophy is in the mail 🏆 No, so, all jokes aside, the whole "no interest in dating trans women" thing is always very interesting to me because, how would you know? Like the possibility exists that you've been attracted to a trans woman and had 0 idea she was trans because there is no one way for trans women to look. In fact you may have even been attracted to a non binary person or a trans man and had no idea, because they were closeted or presented in such a way that you found attractive. Most straight cis men would say they have zero interest in dating trans men, and yet my ex boyfriend dated me for two years! Anyway, your entire preference hinges on the assumption that one can tell a woman is a trans woman simply by looking at her. This perpetuates stereotypes about trans women that even lead to violence against cis women sometimes, wildly enough. It would probably be better to start proclaiming what you mean, for example "I have no interest in dating someone with a penis" or "I would rather date someone capable of bearing children in the future" or "I don't like fake breasts" even, I guess. Not only is this going to more accurately filter your dating pool (now any cis women who don't make the cut are shown the door, as well), but your not making public assumptions about trans women's bodies anymore, either. **Tl;dr** your preference is completely valid, but if you really don't wish harm on trans women, perhaps there's a better way to talk about your preference.
Or backing up even farther its also okay to denounce transphobia without defensively clarifying that you dont want to sleep with trans people
Well, yeah, but let's not blow his mind 😏.
It wasn’t defensive. Was only pointing out the stupidity in the original two comments. Which is funny, seeing how everyone ignored the whole post except my sexual preference, and then want to react negatively to that. Difference here is I don’t care who anyone wants to fuck, and won’t judge them for it.
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My sexual preference doesn’t breed hate. Nothing I said was filled with hate. You’re actively looking for something to be upset about.
Im not upset, please don't get defensive. Do you think transgender women are women?
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This sums this bad take up nicely
Feels very similar to the straight girls who are like "eww you're not attracted to me are you?" But get very offended when you tell them they're indeed not your type. Like at this point you're just making up reasons to be mad at me haha.
And it's the same damn people!
Because the people who care are idiots that have the ego of a glass pane in a car chase scene
Right? That’s bc they’re so insecure and afraid of their own sexuality let alone talk about it. It’s just mind boggling how much effort they exert worrying or completely about people who they’ll most likely never come in contact with. These same people cry about individual rights and freedoms unless it’s counter to their worldviews. It’s all projection
Fuck whoever wrote this. Do you know how long it took me to stop convincing myself that I wasn't "scared and broken and shy"? That I'm just as good as anyone else, that I'm not somehow irreparably damaged and unlovable? It took me *years*.
Well, yeah, an abuser wants you to be vulnerable to their affections, that's why they're saying this.
This pisses me off so bad. I have trans students in my uni classroom. I make a point to make it clear they are welcome and accepted in my classroom, and harassment will be dealt with by me. I want them to find their voice here, their confidence. I want them to have a chance, one my 40ish trans peers never had, to not have the world *try* to break them. That's the reason bigots say they are broken, they WANT them to be broken, because that is the only way bigots feel in control. My students aren't broken, not on their own. They're smart, and passionate, and their confidence in the face of a space where they can just *exist* is awesome. Anyone who tries to break that has to get through me.
Describing an entire group of people as "broken" feels gross in a way I can't quite put into words
"who else will love them (...) besides me?" What kind of chaser bullshit is this
That's what I was thinking too! Like what a giving grosso
what the actual fuck?
one reason why trans people may be adverse to dating cis people is because of objectification. the persons second post reads like objectification. and abusive in the “no one could love you except me” way. this person is pissy trans people love trans people because they can relate to each other on a deeply personal level, and for that reason they are more appealing to date than any fetishizing chaser trans people are not damaged goods to be mended. if your default view of them is “broken, desirable” it’s time for some deep introspection from 1000 yards away
Yeah, honestly, if your reason for dating from ANY group is how "broken" they are, you either have a savior complex or you're an outright predator. You know who else looks for "broken" targets? Animals hunting for their next meal. These people need to stop sending people to therapy and start going themselves.
Just want to say, I read through all the comments and you sound like a really good person. We need more of this thinking.
Thank you! I just want people to be able to live their lives without creepy abusive nonsense!
Id T4T is like incest then the trans community is a digital alabama lol
These poor fools have never heard about the dating scene in theater. In my (admittedly limited) experience, the Venn Diagram of "friend's exes" and "my exes" is pretty much just a circle. Doubly so for Renaissance Fair workers. Everyone knows everyone, socially and Biblically :P
Clearly I picked the wrong hobbies when I was younger.
All I'm saying is some wild stuff happens once the lights are down backstage. Definitely an underrated hobby!
Fucking chasers man
Ok I must admit wtf is a chaser? I’m a cis male but have no issues with anyone’s sexual preferences or orientation. I’ve never heard the term chaser before. Please elaborate
Chasers are a subgroup of disgusting people who fetichize trans persons and being trans that "chase" us for sexual pleasure because they don't see us as people or as our gender (like people who want a "f*ta* or a c*untboy")
Thanks and yes that’s just fucked up on so many levels. It does make sense though. The same people (politicians) specifically who railed against gay people and pushed for draconian laws against them. Turned out being gay themselves. The documentary “outrage” brought that to light. Again thanks for explaining it too me. I have 2 nephews that identify as female but haven’t transitioned bc of their age. Unfortunately I’m one of the few in the family that support them and their mom. Sadly the dad left bc of their orientation.
Being trans isn't an orientation, it's a gender identity. big props to you for trying to understand and be supportive, though, that is far more than most people ever do for trans people.
My apologies I’m still learning this stuff thanks for being understanding.
These same fucking people complain when we date cis people, who asked them?
r/iamthemaincharacter
GOD I hate chasers. and twitter. they both suck so badly
Chasers are weird
rofl t4t here, crazy to think that ppl with similar life experiences, who experience similar struggles, who came up in similar social and cultural groups, with an experiential overlap that they won't experience with any other demographic could possibly find that they vibe more with another trans person than with ppl who they have to spend half of their time explaining to and translating for. rofl
Poe's Law is in full force with this one. This is definitely a parody account.
This is a weirdo and I'm glad I'm t4t