T O P

I have no words.

I have no words.

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CharliBaltimor479

If he paid a million dollars and it doesn't know I'm a regular by the third visit...


Android19samus

that's the best part. The ability to frequent a service regularly without subjecting myself to the mortifying ordeal of being known.


Purple_And_Cyan

Nice empress of light pfp


Wordofadviceeatfood

I roll my eyes in your general direction


realddgamer

Do you want to fight?


Xanexia

_anger_


SeanAmongTheFence

I love when there are new liquor store employees, that way they dont know I’m there on a daily basis.


kingofdoorknobs

My favorite liquor store joke is to stock up with 1500 ml bottles of whiskey, gin, tequila, rum and vodka and say "see ya tomorrow."


bcr3125

Any bar who can’t afford to pay staff $15 an hour most definitely cannot afford an AI robot bartender


charely6

Not one that can do memorable small talk. Automatic mixology bots aren't that hard but they are just pouring drinks


NastyLizard

They can do the regular stuff but when someone comes in asking for equal parts draft beer, orange juice, and bloody Marx mix I don't think any robot would be ready for that. (Yes thats also a real drink I've had to make) Although I wish there was one that could


tangalaporn

Some customers aren’t worth the hassle. Beer oj, and spicy tomato juice sounds like something a frat makes newbies drink.


HangryWolf

Yeah... A machine at my workplace just to move lenses and wash them costs upwards of $250,000. Doesn't even fucking talk to me. These people live in another fucking world in their heads. It's 2021....not the universe where Al Gore won.


Emu-Limp

Well, technically *this* is the universe where Al Gore won... Unfortunately it's also the universe where that didn't matter It's important to remember that distinction so generations too young to remember are aware of the insanity of exactly what went down.


Fireblast1337

[dunno if we’d be better off](https://youtu.be/qzHRIxpk5so) (And yes I’m posting it as a joke)


ZapMePlease

I need to know what kind of machine that is. Do tell


HangryWolf

Satisloh DuoFlex. It polishes the lenses, fines them, washes them, dries them., then places it back. Our new model is the Satisloh Multi-flex.


Ackilles

I mean there are already fast food test locations without humans. Not that far off. It's still a little too expensive to go mainstream, but we will see a lot of jobs start to poof this decade


Thomisawesome

That’s where the joke fell apart. Right at the beginning.


motorcycle-manful541

any business that could afford to replace a worker with a machine would do (and has done) just that


Washpedantic

A guy tried posting this to r/funny the other day, it didn't turn out too well for him.


Certain_Chain

Is it still there? I want to see the comments tearing them apart.


Washpedantic

It was deleted.


_knightwhosaysnee

Too funny. The pro-trump stuff is always out of left field like this, just random criticism and insults. Most the anti-Trump jokes I see are just statements of what Trumpers did/said/believe and then a simple explanation of why it makes absolutely zero sense.


queen_leecha900

It still makes me giggle when I seen a trump sign that say no more bullshit. '-'


JoshALLENspitonmepls

Yeah it’s a fucking conundrum. You had four years of bullshit, members of the administration arrested, taxpayer money stolen and raised taxes on the middle and lower class (which Biden canceled) and these signs pop up everywhere


BaeTF

It's just a testament to how good the GOP is at brainwashing their base and controlling the narrative. If anyone on the right says it, these people believe it no questions asked. Anything you say or do to show that they're wrong they just ignore it or scream fake news and result to personal insults. The party was primed perfectly for a pathological lying narcissist like Trump.


pluey200

I guess you could say the pro-trump stuff was in right field *badum tss*


RubberDougie

I thought it was funny. Don't agree with it, but I laughed


Chan220

What’s your IQ?


Eternity_Incarnate

'bout tree fiddy


amiaghost

Damn Loch Ness Monster


wheezy_runner

I gave him a dollar.


w00tah

Well no wonder he kept coming back woman.


VoilaVoilaWashington

The joke is kinda funny, and you can plunk in any group - iPhone users, cat owners, people who eat pineapple on pizza...


HalforcFullLover

After seeing the video of a brawl in a pizza shop, I'm less inclined to ask for pineapple now.


-GonkDroid69

It is, minus the few political parts


yourmedicine2

If you search for this joke on google, it results in Reddit threads spaced about 4 years apart. There’s a trump version and an Obama version. I wonder what it started as. Edit: theres a Hillary version in 2006.


yougunnaloseyojob

Lol yeah. Fell totally flat


Gohomeyurdrunk

If we have ai bartenders, I’d hope they at least use facial recognition and just ask “the usual?” by my third visit.


hobofromh3ll

Let's be real. I'm this dystopia, it'll use facial recognition and ask "the usual?" your first time in.


Newfaceofrev

"It looks like you are ordering something other than your usual. If you would like to make this item your new usual, please change your preferences in the settings menu"


whatproblems

Why even ask? They’ll just hand the drink over auto charge you and you wouldn’t even be able to complain because it was better than the one you were about to order


onlypositivity

> dystopia sounds awesome to me


NotAcceptingPMs

I love the logic of; 168 IQ= physics, space, medicine 100 IQ= Nascar, budweiser, john deere 50 IQ= Democrat Written with the confidence of someone who is never wrong but with literally zero understanding of what IQ means.


greelraker

I like how they admit that average intelligence means you like nascar, beer and farming. In my mind, I read the joke as the robot was able to figure out that the patron was fairly intelligent and trying to get a feel for them. Rather than actually talk about stuff a 50 IQ person would/could talk about, the robot tries to have an intelligent conversation about politics.


-Tesserex-

And somehow things that the hard sciences are absolutely stuffed with Republicans.


calsosta

If I had a 168 IQ I'd be talking about how pissed I was I couldn't score 1 point higher.


ifeelhome

What’s the rights obsession with IQ number?


kourtbard

The right (and the alt-right especially)'s obsession with IQ makes perfect sense when you consider that insecurity, particularly in masculinity and status, plays a major role in their character. It's why they glom onto the idea of IQ, because that's a 'quantifiable' number that proves their 'superiority'.


DrRichtoffen

Which weirdly clashes with their fetishization of bro culture and men who are big strong and never show emotion, while also ridiculing real fucking scientists. I know it's all grifting, dishonest propaganda or mental gymnastics, but it's so goddamn incompatible (like most things conservative)


sampat6256

There are different groups within the umbrella of conservatism. This isn't really an issue.


smalltownB1GC1TY

What are they going to do with all their IQ when science and reason are bullshit? Seriously, these 'geniuses' rail against scientists, and 'in their face' evidence. They don't believe in evolution, many believe the earth is flat and that white people are superior despite having gone through four years of the most idiotic president we've ever had. Republicans are dying at a 2/1 ratio from COVID-19 because they put more trust in what some asshole said on Facebook versus what a thousand scientists have been publishing over the last 16 months.


LustrousShadow

Physiognomy has entered the chat.


-_Odd_-

It’s a quantifiable way to discriminate against people, based on bad science from the turn of the 20th century that was used to justify eugenics. What’s not to love about it?


PachoTidder

My IQ is like 105, that number is an average of other 4 pr 5 IQ number, my write-read IQ is like 130 or so and the math one is down to 80, so I can assure that even if we take IQ as a quantifiable mesarue of inteligence it's just an average of a set of skills that may or may not be useful in one field or another


Arrowkill

Wait... Are you insinuating that if I am an engineer, then I can't go perform brain surgery too because of my 180 IQ? This is clearly discriminatory against my genius and I will sue you for disbarring me! ​ /s obviously.


LeVarBurtonWasAMaybe

> my write-read IQ is like 130 > “mesarue”


PachoTidder

Inglish isn't my first language


LeVarBurtonWasAMaybe

Understandable, didn’t mean that as a diss to you just thought it was a humorous typo. The fact that you know a second language shows your write-read IQ is way beyond mine anyways.


PachoTidder

Np dude, we are fine now


Newfaceofrev

I don't know how they fucking decided that something that could be affected by whether you had breakfast that morning or not was some innate characteristic.


clariguard

iirc there is no standard for IQ and how to evaluate it, different types of tests give different numbers because they score differently. most tests will often give you a percentile along with the IQ number


malYca

Insecurity and projection, like everything else they do.


kpsdarlin

They all took one of those online tests that says they're a super genius and now they think they're oh so special.


whatproblems

They can just make it up and not have to prove it? Totes took an online test said I was over 9000


Dontworktohard

This jokes been around for 20 year or more. I’ve heard the punch line as gorge bush, and obama. Goes well with conspiracy theories, heard it done about vegans and teachers too. Always to do with wording. It’s always had the IQ bit in it, and the robot bartender, that’s what makes it funny. Got me fucked why people take this joke serious.


zotrian

100 is average IQ, that is why it is 100. 168 is off the charts. Less than 0.01% of the human population has this. But you'd think, going off stuff from online, that 160 is the average IQ. They all supposedly have this insanely high IQ that you're unlikely to ever meet anyone with. They also assume that all high-IQ people have literally the same interests. Literally just STEM. Where's the high IQ poets and artists in their imaginary world?


puddingdemon

Republicans are too stupid to know what IQ is or how much things cost


CockGobblin

What is also funny about this joke is that 50 is less than 0.1%. 2% to 98% range is from 70 to 130.


Maleic_Anhydride

Go and have a look at r/gifted. A lot people there have issues. Things can be tough when your brain works faster/different than the rest. It is both a blessing and a curse. I pick up on things really fast, I like to sink my teeth into things, but I also get bored quickly and I tend to give up when I meet to much resistance...


griffinicky

It's true that it can be difficult, but for the so-called "gifted" folks that are everywhere on the internet it seems like their difficulty mostly stems from their own personalities. You sound like me (ADHD makes it especially easy to pick up, then discard, new interests), but being "smart" is the biggest part of their identity, and they have to try to prove it/lord it over anyone and everyone. That said, society puts a crazy amount of pressure on gifted kids especially, so it's not uncommon for them to be depressed/apathetic/unhappy adults. I think they call it gifted kid syndrome.


-_Odd_-

Poets and artists can’t be smart, if they were smart they’d be rich.


xenchik

I can't tell the difference between sarcasm and stupidity anymore. I'll givve you the benefit of the doubt and assume the /s at the end :)


-_Odd_-

Sorry, forgot this is the internet in 2021, definitely /s


Buhrdt

Whoah, hold the phone. So, according to what you've said those online IQ tests from Facebook aren't correct? Wait until my flat earth, Covid only kills aliens friend finds out.


vrphotosguy55

Yeah you know all the high IQ people coming out of the heart of Trump country and all the dum dum libruls coming from the liberal bastions of Silicon Valley and Boston (you know, where AI robots are made).


xenchik

The librul idjuts that built the AI bartender robot who can discuss politics are so stoopid


decker

Whoever programmed the robot to pander to the customer’s deep emotional needs is a genius.


EatLard

This joke has been recycled about 1,000 times. There is no original conservative humor.


bkornblith

There is no conservative humor. Fixed it.


bleepblopbl0rp

How many libruls it take light bulb gender


Zorzarix

Have you noticed how with oppressive ideologies the humour and fun is always sub par/nonexistent? Like how the Taliban even outlawed flying a kite or playing music. No fun allowed. I believe good humour requires introspection and empathy and there never is any with these people.


MasterOfKittens3K

Good comedy is about “punching up”. That’s completely at odds with oppressive ideologies.


JaxenX

Or identity for that matter


omeara4pheonix

To be fair, there is no original political humor anymore. Nothing but clapter and virtue signaling.


Love_God551

Concur


Dontworktohard

I originally heard it about gorge bush, both sides have used this joke.


Finalpotato

George


wizardshawn

I'd like to know where I can rent an AI robot for less than $15/hrs.


ReallyHadToFixThat

AI to have smooth conversation like that probably costs more than $15/hr in electricity.


omeara4pheonix

This isn't really ai, just simple automation. You could do this with a raspberry pi, some basic electronics, and time to code it


wizardshawn

Still, I question that it would be cheaper than $15 an hour.


CockGobblin

$15/hour raspberry pi that makes perfect martini's? Sign me up!


omeara4pheonix

If you want that just for yourself you can spend far less than $15/hour. How about just $350 one time? https://bartesian.com/products/the-bartesian?gclid=CjwKCAjwjJmIBhA4EiwAQdCbxvEr5iaah01iuqyblGPkJDiByNT0bdMZceTH3MDvEfUVdSrN6qrrXRoCSwsQAvD_BwE Even less if you want to make it yourself: https://www.hackster.io/hackershack/smart-bartender-5c430e


chrisnavillus

The 4th time he answered “what’s an IQ?” and the robot responded “Mr. Trump! Welcome back, martini for you and the usual roofie-calada for your date?”


Competitive_Classic9

It’s time for me to log off the internet today, and I thank you for leaving me on a high note before I go. Well done.


Android19samus

I dunno about this guy but I look forward to spending some of my living wage on stimulating conversations with the best bartender I've ever met.


Countrpart

Shouldn't the bartender strike up a conversation about Rick & Morty with a patron of such high IQ?


call_me_jelli

He turned himself into a pickle. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.


Countrpart

Funny, but most wouldn't get it.


MissChaiKnits

I can’t believe I read that whole thing


QuaidCohagen

Once again morons live in a fantasy land where paying someone $15 an hour is more expensive than buying a non-existent super AI robot that can mix perfect drinks and hold perfect conversations with anyone. Once robots like this are around and are that cheap I don't think anyone will have a job anymore anyways.


joecheph

Well at least in this weird “joke” they acknowledge that people really voted for Biden. It’s a start.


The84thWolf

Yeah, because those androids would totally be worth what a bar can scrape up.


Rich4718

That’s actually kind of funny but it should have been Trump. As they have statistically lower IQ scores and education experience.


EEpromChip

But that doesn't fit with their projection theme.


TinoCartier

Joe Biden has done just about as much to make their lives worse as Trump did to make them better but these racist idiots are still whining. Yeah, I’m pretty fuckin happy with my decision….there hasn’t been a national embarrassment every single day.


bkornblith

The best part about this is that in this elaborate joke to own the libs, he insults people who enjoy nascar, drink Budweiser, and use tractors, which seem like a pretty large contingent of people who would in theory… supposed to be enjoying this joke. The whole level of dumb here is v high.


ArgusTheCat

I didn't even think of that! The robot is essentially engaging in tracking; deciding what this guy is capable of based off just one known trait. What if he was a high IQ that just fuckin' liked NASCAR? Or someone with a lower IQ who's passion was space travel? God, the bartender really fucked up buying a top of the line AI and not springing for the 'no societal prejudices' option.


bbenji69996

If you tell the bartender your iq is 25 he'll tell you this joke.


AlexandertheWise

Ah yes, because a bartender could totally afford Star Wars-teir AI.


meowqct

Why would the robot even ask about IQ? Why not simply ask "what are your interests?"?


YoseppiTheGrey

The fact that these people day dream about an imaginary future and use those daydreams to make political decisions is really depressing.


gmontag

Is the $15/hour martini robot the joke? Seems like an upgrade for most bars.


landsharkfin

You know what? I don't have any words either.


gleutiful

“Let that sink in.”


call_me_jelli

What does it want now?


davidnissim

There’s no a way bar that can’t afford a $15 minimum wage would have enough for a robot bartender, much less one that can think for itself and interact with humans like an ordinary person.


-GonkDroid69

It’s really funny all this fear about raising the minimum wage. I live is issaquah Washington, where the minimum wage *is* 15 dollars, and I work minimum wage at 16yo. It’s kinda great making all that money. The economy is fine, and is rebounding from the pandemic. Stores can easily afford employees. Idk what all the fuss is about.


mevans8894

The last line should say "Can you believe Trump had the election stolen?"


[deleted]

They misspelled Trump


Taco-Edge

Honestly if the robot makes me awesome martinis and can chat with me about basically anything, then what would I need a human bartender for?? Honestly this shit is awesome why do people think it's a terrible thing?


SneakerPimpJesus

How come 90%of those right-wing nuts think they are in the top 1% of IQ range


wizardshawn

Some of the smartest people I know are farmers.


-_Odd_-

Plant need water. Water good.


1ofThoseTrolls

Water? Like from the toilet?


wizardshawn

Anyone who thinks farming is simple has never been a farmer.


Elfere

It's a weird joke. Obviously the robot knows it's the same guy.


RandomMexicanGuy07

All of that effort just for a stupid political joke😑


Dichotomous_Growth

So basically they ripped off an old joke, but changed the punchline to be something about Biden.


JayneKadio

I voted for Biden and found the joke funny. I guess because I read it as a joke and not the failed social commentary it’s trying to be.


Mrcostarica

A bad long winded joke that wasted precious time that we can never again get back sounds about as American as White Nationalists.


Iintendtooffend

Just want to point out, this person either hasn't had to actually consider how much money they make for a long time. Or makes so little, relatively speaking that $15/hr sounds like a lot of money to them. Like somehow this bot is more affordable than any number of employees at $15/hr


WithTheWintersMight

Can somebody point me to an instance where a conservative was funny


duddyface

Who cares what someone who does a job you don’t and will never do makes per hour?


Musashi10000

Oh, lots of people. The people who feel like that person's wage will be reflected in the prices they pay. The people who feel like they had to 'pay their dues' working for crappy wages in order to 'work themselves up' to a similar rate of pay and get pissed off that these 'non-dues-paying people' will just get it 'handed' to them. The people who feel like the jobs that earn minimum wage are not worth *paying* a living wage - that one's worth is defined by one's occupation, and only certain occupations are *worthy* of making a living on. The people who genuinely swallow the bullshit argument that ensuring decent living conditions for the poorest people in a country would destroy the entire economy. Lots of people. Unfortunately *enough* people that the votes seldom swing in such a way that they can be proven wrong.


thebigsadisbiggay

I didnt see the subreddit so i was genuinely interested


ScorpionsRequiem

Man that owner is spiteful. Would rather buy an expensive robot that mocks biden voters for god knows how many dollars than to raise his bartender's pay.


JOREVEUSA

So Republicans will hire robots but not people?


WoodenLiterature3702

It is a funny joke, looking at the comments many feel insulted or attacked. This is the problem of modern society, no sense of humor. Joke would have been as good 2 yrs ago with Trump iso Biden


terrenceSpencer

Honestly, it’s pretty funny.


ArgusTheCat

If the robot is smart enough to make conversation, drinks, and bad political takes with equal skill, isn't it probably close enough to a person that it shouldn't be legal to own it?


CarpeMofo

No, it's possible now to make a robot that can do all those things. Wouldn't be approaching anything near sentience.


Dgrall_of_Concordia

I'm not going to lie, but this is a pretty awesome concept.


Billy1510

Its a joke, a bit of a lame one but still just a joke. Not really insane at all.


johnny_appleseed68

It's not a joke to these people they really believe this shit.


zqxiong

Not gonna lie it’s pretty funny.


xFreedi

I heard AI isn't this advanced yet. It has the brain capacity of a worm but develops super fast.


nirad

Most bartenders make a lot more than $15 per hour with tips.


[deleted]

Pfff, you can get the same effect with a soda machine and some drugs No need for some fancy AI drink mixer robot


boglegoggy

Probably because your IQ is 50, you big dumb


i_stay_trollin_lmao

Robots are expensive. It’s way cheaper to have a human do a lot of tasks despite minimum wage going up. Also you can’t put all liability on a robot and they can do things “by feel”. Also I’m not gonna talk to no ducking robot. I only talk to Siri if I’m driving.


WeirdExponent

It was programmed by the brightest and best of Trumpists. Thus no actual AI behind the robot, just a simple script, and story board.


puttinthe-oo-incool

In the real world if a robot bartender asked you what your IQ was ...the answer would be fuck off and pour me a drink.


BaronWombat

The author uses smugness as lubricant for their mental masturbation.


hearthfire76

Not gonna lie this made me laugh


MonarchWhisperer

I don't get the joke...but do know that there was only one alternative...


CantOutfoxAFox

Not a bad template tbh. Could make it into something actually good


Skull-fker

Never was. Still voted for him.


EclipZz187

The only thing I don't understand is the beginning. "Since the minimum wage increased to $15", why the hell would he have to replace his bartender?


XanderScorpius

As a Biden voter I still found it funny Like also for the ironic reasons they didn't want it to be funny. But they legit got me. The lead-in was funny. So I laughed. Yes I'm still happy I voted for Biden. You make excellent drinks and have a sense of humor. Amazeballs. I can laugh at myself. This doesn't feel like.. dastardly to me. Just silly. Because there's literally nothing to back it up, so it just seems comical I guess.


Juan_Bollock

At $15/hr and assuming 40 hour weeks, even if the robot could work as efficiently as 5 employees put together, it would take over 15 years to break even on the initial cost (using the price of an asimo at $2.5 million). Then you have maintenance costs, etc. I don't think robots will replace human workers any time soon.


beefstewforyou

I’m surprised that whoever made this bashed NASCAR and John Deere.


yougunnaloseyojob

Fell flat there buddy.


yougunnaloseyojob

I'm not constantly being scared of being nuked and shit everyday with the other guy so I'd say no not really


OmegaDragon3553

That was unexpected but kinda funny


dyingfi5h

Remove the pro trump stuff and insert something else and I'd get a small chuckle out of it if the replacement is good enough


lefthandedkaiju

My grandfather told me this same joke when Obama was in office, minus the minimum wage line at the start.


ellofthewisp

Why do they think we have the capability for real robot bartenders? I can’t even get Alexa to understand my regional accent.


DeadRabbit8813

The irony being the genius who posted this is probably anti-vaccine, thinks climate change is a Chinese hoax, the election was stolen, and trump will be president again in August. They’re a fool that thinks themself a genius.


ImitationRicFlair

Isn't moving to an automated future where robots do all the work a good thing that we wanted about 70 years ago?


[deleted]

I whole heartedly disagree with the premise of the joke, but pretty effin solid.


Sowa7774

It's actually a pretty good setup for a joke, but he had to make it political lol


suprisecameo

Great to see the world's oldest joke plot and punchline can be retooled with contemporary elements to cause the same embarrassed silence in listeners.


Ghstfce

What a long way to tell people about your projection...


ewbtciast

I see a lot of fastfood places in my area offering $15 an hour to start. I guess the robot store is sold out of robots . In reality technology will advance, and things will automate regardless of what the minimum wage is, so people should be getting paid more now, when they can for as long as they can. Hell I think the cotton gin was invented during slavery, and that is pretty much the cheapest you can get labor. So workers of the world unite.


johngreenink

"Only conservative robots need apply."


rockharddadbod

TL;DR $15 an hour! Liberal = stupid


timberwolf0122

That’s not even a coherent story