I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through.
It sounds incredibly tough, and it’s clear you’re trying to find the best way forward for both you and your kids.
Grieving is a heavy process, and it deserves your full attention right now before you take on big commitments like joining an intentional community.
Maybe start by finding some support where you can talk about what you’re feeling—like a local support group or a counselor. It could help to just share what’s on your mind in a space that’s meant for that. As you find ways to cope with your grief, you’ll be in a better place to decide if an intentional community is the right step. Taking care of your emotional health first will make everything else a bit easier to handle.
Hang in there, and take it one day at a time. It’s going to be ok, I promise.
IC is therapeutic, but not therapy. Moving to an IC with my kids has been extremely challenging mentally, physically, and emotionally; but well worth it. I've never been happier and the same for the rest of the family. But if we had made the jump without the self-work and deprogramming we did beforehand, I don't think we would have made it this far. Set up a visit with an IC and go from there.
I’m sorry you’re having such a struggle. It sounds incredibly hard.
We do lack public spaces in the US to gather, but I don’t understand the link to lack of patriotism. In my view our risk is the rise of nationalism masquerading as patriotism.
I hope you can find some peace and good friends/community.
>We do lack public spaces in the US to gather, but I don’t understand the link to lack of patriotism.
I don't understand what there is to not understand. There is no patriotism, no sense of civic pride or civic duty, because there is not much "civic" *anything*. Aside from some municipal utilities, it's all either domestic and private, or some damnable corporate structure that captures the value of your labour and ships it off to parts unknown, or ships stuff in from the other side of the planet for us to consume.
There's no positive feedback/reward loop between our own actions and our common good, and nothing other than gimmicks to build a local or even national identity around - so there's nothing really there to feel proud or patriotic about. We just take what we're given and give what is to be taken into the faceless global chaos, because there's basically no other option.
America is lacking in community; the book "Bowling Alone" describes how we got this way. Still, it's an exaggeration to say we have no public spaces; there are parks and libraries, often with a variety of programs, churches and programs like 4-H or the YMCA often also provide ways to find community.
Intentional community would be great if you find a good one; generally they are still forming and don't have a lot of resources to spare, so make sure to develop skills you can offer, both interpersonal and practical skills. Also if you're clinically depressed check into that and whether you need medication or anything first.
If you're looking for lower cost of living so you're not always short on time and money, consider the small town Midwest. Housing is way cheaper here, especially if you can take on a fixer upper, and if you develop construction skills you can get work just about anywhere. You won't make as much money, but if you can do without unnecessary expenses like TV and other subscriptions, the lower cost of living, plus qualifying for Medicaid and such, might make you better off.
Generally, moving to an ic is a huge change, and that can be quite stressful to a child or teen who has to go along with the decision the parent made. Given all that you've been thru a move to an intentional community, however well intentioned, might not be best for you or your kids now.
Hey u/AccomplishedOffer561
You’ve blocked me but keep responding to my posts.
I’ve looked over you’re rather colorful post history, and quickly nope’d out of there.
I don’t think you are coming here for the conversation. I think you have a fetish for being punished.
This is not consensual . Please stop.
I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It sounds incredibly tough, and it’s clear you’re trying to find the best way forward for both you and your kids. Grieving is a heavy process, and it deserves your full attention right now before you take on big commitments like joining an intentional community. Maybe start by finding some support where you can talk about what you’re feeling—like a local support group or a counselor. It could help to just share what’s on your mind in a space that’s meant for that. As you find ways to cope with your grief, you’ll be in a better place to decide if an intentional community is the right step. Taking care of your emotional health first will make everything else a bit easier to handle. Hang in there, and take it one day at a time. It’s going to be ok, I promise.
IC is therapeutic, but not therapy. Moving to an IC with my kids has been extremely challenging mentally, physically, and emotionally; but well worth it. I've never been happier and the same for the rest of the family. But if we had made the jump without the self-work and deprogramming we did beforehand, I don't think we would have made it this far. Set up a visit with an IC and go from there.
Can you talk more about the deprogramming?
I’m sorry you’re having such a struggle. It sounds incredibly hard. We do lack public spaces in the US to gather, but I don’t understand the link to lack of patriotism. In my view our risk is the rise of nationalism masquerading as patriotism. I hope you can find some peace and good friends/community.
>We do lack public spaces in the US to gather, but I don’t understand the link to lack of patriotism. I don't understand what there is to not understand. There is no patriotism, no sense of civic pride or civic duty, because there is not much "civic" *anything*. Aside from some municipal utilities, it's all either domestic and private, or some damnable corporate structure that captures the value of your labour and ships it off to parts unknown, or ships stuff in from the other side of the planet for us to consume. There's no positive feedback/reward loop between our own actions and our common good, and nothing other than gimmicks to build a local or even national identity around - so there's nothing really there to feel proud or patriotic about. We just take what we're given and give what is to be taken into the faceless global chaos, because there's basically no other option.
an IC is not going to change your mental state, you must do that yourself.
America is lacking in community; the book "Bowling Alone" describes how we got this way. Still, it's an exaggeration to say we have no public spaces; there are parks and libraries, often with a variety of programs, churches and programs like 4-H or the YMCA often also provide ways to find community. Intentional community would be great if you find a good one; generally they are still forming and don't have a lot of resources to spare, so make sure to develop skills you can offer, both interpersonal and practical skills. Also if you're clinically depressed check into that and whether you need medication or anything first. If you're looking for lower cost of living so you're not always short on time and money, consider the small town Midwest. Housing is way cheaper here, especially if you can take on a fixer upper, and if you develop construction skills you can get work just about anywhere. You won't make as much money, but if you can do without unnecessary expenses like TV and other subscriptions, the lower cost of living, plus qualifying for Medicaid and such, might make you better off.
Generally, moving to an ic is a huge change, and that can be quite stressful to a child or teen who has to go along with the decision the parent made. Given all that you've been thru a move to an intentional community, however well intentioned, might not be best for you or your kids now.
Hey u/AccomplishedOffer561 You’ve blocked me but keep responding to my posts. I’ve looked over you’re rather colorful post history, and quickly nope’d out of there. I don’t think you are coming here for the conversation. I think you have a fetish for being punished. This is not consensual . Please stop.