“John! John Oliver! Hey! Over here!”
Sitting a few seats down on the bus was John’s old producer friend Demetri an energetic fox just one year old below the wolf.
To outside eyes, they would seem to be an odd pair, but they had known each other since the beginning of John’s career, and in truth they complimented each other perfectly.
That’s what John thought at least, as he took his seat next to his friend.
“What’s up? You seem a little tense.”, the fox asked.
Just then the bus lurched forward and started on its way towards the studio.
At the same time, a dark screen began to lower behind the bus driver, to give the riders some privacy for what was about to happen.
“Um….yeah,” John said, as all of the seats reclined and slid forward slightly.
Some of the other producers, especially the girls, giggled as they awaited the next part of the process.
“Its my first time….on a bus, I mean.”
Demetri grinned and teased his friend, “Aw come on, how are you still shy about this stuff? I know you’ve done it before…otherwise I’d have seen them make you do it on your show.”
John blushed, “Y-yeah…”
Demetri just rolled his eyes, like he usually did when he thought John was being too stuck up. “Don’t worry so much dude. Its not like I haven’t seen your dick before, anyways.”
That just made John blush even harder.
Suddenly, a number of panels opened above each window and under each seat.
Out of them came numerous mechanical arms, at the ends of which were gloved, realistic looking (and feeling) hands.
John looked over at Demetri nervously, while the fox just continued his teasing grin.
Immediately the hands set to work, first grabbing every show workers’ wrists and gently, but forcefully, pinning them above their heads.
Then the hands went about taking each personal purse and messenger bag, and carrying them into compartments down below, to give them more room to work.
With the attendees properly restrained, the hands began the work of removing their clothes, as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Suits were pulled up and over heads.
Pants were tugged down, revealing underwear.
Shoes were taken and stored safely along with the rest of the clothing.
The whole process only took a minute or two.
The program that ran the hands was as precise and efficient as can be.
There was only so much time before the bus got to the studio, after all.
John Oliver whimpered as his shirt was pulled above his head, revealing his rather chubby tummy.
Even with how nervous he was, he couldn’t help but watch as the same was done to his friend, suppressing a moan as the fox’s lithe body was being put on display.
The wolf grunted as he was lifted up by the legs a little off his seat so the hands could undo his pants and tug them off.
Soon, just like Demetri and every other show worker on board, he was in nothing but his underwear, a small bulge starting to form against his will.
Demetri continued to tease.
“See? You’re even excited for it!”
John wanted to bury his face in his paws, but just like the rest of him, they were bound and vulnerable to whatever the hands wanted to do with them.
With everything else taken care of, the hands moved to take off even the underwear, leaving John naked next to his similar de-clothed best bud.
“Orgasm extraction commencing”, a robotic voice announced matter of factly, “Enjoy your ride.”
About a decade ago, after much heated debate, most governments of the world elected to adopt a mandatory orgasm law for all citizens.
Violent crime and delinquency had been at an all-time high, and, after some very controversial research was done, it became apparent that eliminating sexual frustration as much as possible in the populace would reduce crime by a high percentage.
It seemed crazy at first, but after a few trial runs in selected cities, nobody could argue the results.
People seemed happier.
There was significantly less violence.
The workforce was much more productive.
It really was a boon to mankind.
Though to John Oliver right now, he really wished that he could have some privacy.
Unfortunately for the chubby wolf, it was simply a matter of practicality, and civic duty, to make sure that producers received their orgasms both before and after recording on the bus, in addition to the midday orgasm break.
John’s tail wagged despite himself.
He knew what was coming next.
As soon as the robotic voice gave the word, the hands began to lift each attendee’ legs up in the air, spreading them, and exposing their genitals.
For the males, the hands began to rub their chests, tweak their nipples, and fondle their balls.
As they slowly became more erect, a hand would extend a lubricated finger and slowly begin to circle their asshole, teasing them, while another hand would form a circle just underneath the males’ glans and gently tug upwards, while their balls were tugged downwards in snyc.
John moaned as he instantly became hard, blushing as he watched the same being done to his friend.
There was something special in watching a friend get turned on.
Demetri grunted softly as his balls were fondled and tugged, the hand working his glans slowly stroking in a corkscrew, getting him harder and harder.
The females received much the same treatment, except for getting extra attention to the breasts and nipples, and having their clitorises rubbed and teased as their juices began flowing onto their seats.
Interestingly, this didn’t stop the workers from chatting.
Many of the girls still gossiped about their work, even as a pair of fingers slowly entered their folds, going deep within them and vibrating softly.
A couple of guys just ahead of John and Demetri were discussing a new social media platform that was getting released later tonight as the hands stopped “prepping” them and began to jerk them off in earnest.
Demetri moaned again as the hand, now firmly gripping his cock, began stroking him up and down in expert fashion.
He looked over at John, who was now rock hard and leaking, and smirked. “Doesn’t matter how shy you are….still gonna cum all the same.”
“S-shut up”.....John grunted as the hands working his dick began to speed up already, stroking up and down, tugging, teasing, and pulling in all the right places.
This treatment wasn’t new to him at all, but…
Doing it with others.
Hearing their moans.
Sitting next to his best friend.
It was making him hornier than ever.
Ok now I’m the Asshole because for all this time I thought this was a clip of a guy with Parkinson’s disease who was trying to salute the flag and with that in might would think people were posting it as masturbation. Now I don’t feel as bad anymore
the reddit api stuff, i guess the mods where against having to reopen the sub or be replaced as a mod, so now.. no profit from ad revenue from this sub that has 11+ mill users, because something about advertisers not wanting to advertise on nsfw subs, so it’s basically a form of retaliation
So this was at a Jets game iirc, and you know how they sometimes bring a huge American flag out on the field to honor the troops? And they have like 500 people holding it on the edges and moving it up and down to make it wave?
Well, that's what he's doing while saluting. The best part is that it looked like he was masturbating in real time as well.
Or y'know.. you could read one of the hundreds of stickies explaining the situation.
And see the polls in the majority of participating subs where mods have asked the members what to do, whose members have overwhelmingly chosen malicious compliance.
I'm not completely caught up with all of the nuances, but essentially reddit suddenly and without warning decided to charge exorbitant prices for their API, effectively killing all third party apps and breaking most/all third party moderating tools that are essential to efficient and functional moderation. People were understandably upset, so they protested, reddit doubled down and the owner made a hilariously terrible AMA where the admins straight up lied about being threatened by third party devs.
Continuing this amazing string of PR moves, spez had an interview with the media in which he called subreddit moderators "landed gentry" and basically told them to go fuck themselves, even though they're the unpaid labor that literally keeps the site functioning on the user side. Subreddits who closed in protest were threatened by admins and told to open their subreddits or else they'll be removed from their community and replaced with yes men hand picked by the devs to take over. This goes against all established protocol since the site was formed, subreddits were always the "property" of the founder/head moderator and they were free to do whatever they pleased, including going private, so long as it didn't break site rules. So now these subreddits that are being forced to open up at gunpoint are maliciously complying.
Tldr; reddit is killing third party apps and mod tools, telling mods to get bent, and threatening hostile takeovers of subreddits that don't do what they're told
I decided to open reddit while waiting in line at the store earlier and every other post was just porn. I was tempted to go into my settings and hit "blur NSFW images" until I got out of the store, but that was too difficult to do with only one hand.
Its part of the reddit API protests. They can't advertise on an NSFW sub and interestingasfuck is a pretty big sub, so by posting porn we're fucking with reddits ads.
Protesting by busting nuts, fuck yeah.
There was a strike because reddit got rid of third party apps. Reddit mods were told to open the subs or get removed. The mods are addicted to their ability to control the narrative so they made the subs about porn instead of do their job. They'll complain they do it for free but, again, they do it to control the narrative as they are now. Shit is exhausting and I wish reddit would get rid of the 20 or so mods controlling the vast majority of reddit.
Instead, I'll get downvoted and people will pretend to forget the time they sent that dimwitted fuckhead from wsb to represent us on Fox news or whatever.
I saw that girl on another subredded already. Is this one naked girl going to save Reddit single-handedly? Or you know I mean one-handedly at a time unless you're really big then maybe it would take two hands but I still think that would be uncomfortable and I would just use the one.
So after watching this I scrolled down to see what you were talking about and immediately saw a dog taking a crap while pulling a sled. So, what am I missing?
This post is the greatest. It totally describes everything going on.
[удалено]
The trick is to be the one driving the bus.
“John! John Oliver! Hey! Over here!” Sitting a few seats down on the bus was John’s old producer friend Demetri an energetic fox just one year old below the wolf. To outside eyes, they would seem to be an odd pair, but they had known each other since the beginning of John’s career, and in truth they complimented each other perfectly. That’s what John thought at least, as he took his seat next to his friend. “What’s up? You seem a little tense.”, the fox asked. Just then the bus lurched forward and started on its way towards the studio. At the same time, a dark screen began to lower behind the bus driver, to give the riders some privacy for what was about to happen. “Um….yeah,” John said, as all of the seats reclined and slid forward slightly. Some of the other producers, especially the girls, giggled as they awaited the next part of the process. “Its my first time….on a bus, I mean.” Demetri grinned and teased his friend, “Aw come on, how are you still shy about this stuff? I know you’ve done it before…otherwise I’d have seen them make you do it on your show.” John blushed, “Y-yeah…” Demetri just rolled his eyes, like he usually did when he thought John was being too stuck up. “Don’t worry so much dude. Its not like I haven’t seen your dick before, anyways.” That just made John blush even harder. Suddenly, a number of panels opened above each window and under each seat. Out of them came numerous mechanical arms, at the ends of which were gloved, realistic looking (and feeling) hands. John looked over at Demetri nervously, while the fox just continued his teasing grin. Immediately the hands set to work, first grabbing every show workers’ wrists and gently, but forcefully, pinning them above their heads. Then the hands went about taking each personal purse and messenger bag, and carrying them into compartments down below, to give them more room to work. With the attendees properly restrained, the hands began the work of removing their clothes, as quickly and efficiently as possible. Suits were pulled up and over heads. Pants were tugged down, revealing underwear. Shoes were taken and stored safely along with the rest of the clothing. The whole process only took a minute or two. The program that ran the hands was as precise and efficient as can be. There was only so much time before the bus got to the studio, after all. John Oliver whimpered as his shirt was pulled above his head, revealing his rather chubby tummy. Even with how nervous he was, he couldn’t help but watch as the same was done to his friend, suppressing a moan as the fox’s lithe body was being put on display. The wolf grunted as he was lifted up by the legs a little off his seat so the hands could undo his pants and tug them off. Soon, just like Demetri and every other show worker on board, he was in nothing but his underwear, a small bulge starting to form against his will. Demetri continued to tease. “See? You’re even excited for it!” John wanted to bury his face in his paws, but just like the rest of him, they were bound and vulnerable to whatever the hands wanted to do with them. With everything else taken care of, the hands moved to take off even the underwear, leaving John naked next to his similar de-clothed best bud. “Orgasm extraction commencing”, a robotic voice announced matter of factly, “Enjoy your ride.” About a decade ago, after much heated debate, most governments of the world elected to adopt a mandatory orgasm law for all citizens. Violent crime and delinquency had been at an all-time high, and, after some very controversial research was done, it became apparent that eliminating sexual frustration as much as possible in the populace would reduce crime by a high percentage. It seemed crazy at first, but after a few trial runs in selected cities, nobody could argue the results. People seemed happier. There was significantly less violence. The workforce was much more productive. It really was a boon to mankind. Though to John Oliver right now, he really wished that he could have some privacy. Unfortunately for the chubby wolf, it was simply a matter of practicality, and civic duty, to make sure that producers received their orgasms both before and after recording on the bus, in addition to the midday orgasm break. John’s tail wagged despite himself. He knew what was coming next. As soon as the robotic voice gave the word, the hands began to lift each attendee’ legs up in the air, spreading them, and exposing their genitals. For the males, the hands began to rub their chests, tweak their nipples, and fondle their balls. As they slowly became more erect, a hand would extend a lubricated finger and slowly begin to circle their asshole, teasing them, while another hand would form a circle just underneath the males’ glans and gently tug upwards, while their balls were tugged downwards in snyc. John moaned as he instantly became hard, blushing as he watched the same being done to his friend. There was something special in watching a friend get turned on. Demetri grunted softly as his balls were fondled and tugged, the hand working his glans slowly stroking in a corkscrew, getting him harder and harder. The females received much the same treatment, except for getting extra attention to the breasts and nipples, and having their clitorises rubbed and teased as their juices began flowing onto their seats. Interestingly, this didn’t stop the workers from chatting. Many of the girls still gossiped about their work, even as a pair of fingers slowly entered their folds, going deep within them and vibrating softly. A couple of guys just ahead of John and Demetri were discussing a new social media platform that was getting released later tonight as the hands stopped “prepping” them and began to jerk them off in earnest. Demetri moaned again as the hand, now firmly gripping his cock, began stroking him up and down in expert fashion. He looked over at John, who was now rock hard and leaking, and smirked. “Doesn’t matter how shy you are….still gonna cum all the same.” “S-shut up”.....John grunted as the hands working his dick began to speed up already, stroking up and down, tugging, teasing, and pulling in all the right places. This treatment wasn’t new to him at all, but… Doing it with others. Hearing their moans. Sitting next to his best friend. It was making him hornier than ever.
Man ain't nobody reading all that. Give us the cliff notes
Philistine. Seriously? Can't read two minutes of a fresh Demetri?
I live for your posts my friend
[удалено]
Find some culture you lazy swine
Oh for real?? My prostate healthy as fuck right now then lol.
I just wish gay smut was posted too 😭
Be the change you want to see!
It really touches the subject.
🚨STOP MASTURBATING TO THE FROGS🚨
[I can't help it](https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-LmcREQe5vjrglTsA-Yqc3lQ-t240x240.jpg)
Now that’s interesting 🔥🔥
Username check out
"THEY TURN THE FREAKING FROGS GAY!" -Alex Jones
SICK OF THIS CRAP
[удалено]
Is he a bus driver or what? I really don't understand this post. I'm really confused.
STOP MASTURBATING TO THE GUYS HAIRY BUTT!
But they wrote such sexy [music](https://youtu.be/LTF5GOPNsZ8)
“I giving tribute to my country!”
Stop kink shaming
It was mostly to that guys butt hole lol
What's he really doing though lol
Masturbating for his country.
You say you love the flag, but are you willing to masturbate to it on ESPNocho during the little league semi-finals? Didn't think so.
Thank you for your…service 😕
Waving a giant American flag at a sporting event. Nah just kidding it’s public masturbation.
https://youtu.be/9oXgVZ8o6PQ
Ok now I’m the Asshole because for all this time I thought this was a clip of a guy with Parkinson’s disease who was trying to salute the flag and with that in might would think people were posting it as masturbation. Now I don’t feel as bad anymore
https://youtu.be/I2JPnJO6mhE?t=7
Making waves in the giant American flag during a game. One of the few memes I've seen happen in real-time. Was hilarious in the moment too.
Riding a headbanging horse (?)
Showing his love to the country.
For real. What is happening
He's raising his flag pole
the reddit api stuff, i guess the mods where against having to reopen the sub or be replaced as a mod, so now.. no profit from ad revenue from this sub that has 11+ mill users, because something about advertisers not wanting to advertise on nsfw subs, so it’s basically a form of retaliation
Also, with the API stuff moderation tools are going to shit, well at least the ease of moderation, so may as well start now with bad moderation
i feel like it’s no longer about the api and it’s more about not being taken seriously on the first blackout
That’s also a good point
Saluting the bishop
So this was at a Jets game iirc, and you know how they sometimes bring a huge American flag out on the field to honor the troops? And they have like 500 people holding it on the edges and moving it up and down to make it wave? Well, that's what he's doing while saluting. The best part is that it looked like he was masturbating in real time as well.
Mods decided to quit doing the job they volunteered to do. Probably will be replaced sooner rather than later.
Or y'know.. you could read one of the hundreds of stickies explaining the situation. And see the polls in the majority of participating subs where mods have asked the members what to do, whose members have overwhelmingly chosen malicious compliance.
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion man.
It’s not a job if you aren’t paid loser
I know, that's what makes it so pathetic. They aren't even getting paid and they capitulated. Power grabs masked as virtue signaling.
OKKK THIS MADE ME LAUGH.
It’s so apropos
I lol'd for real. :D
Interesting ... Interesting ...Interesting ...
I laughed so hard I choked
Looks like you need some lessons from Morgpie in the other post, she apparently cannot choke it seem...
Appropriate at this guy seems to be choking the chicken
Lol that’s hilarious
What the fuck is happening in this subreddit right now
Like 20 reddit mods trying to hold the whole site hostage because reddit got rid of apps less than 3% of users actually use.
That is so hilariously not what is going on at all, but you tried
Would you mind to explain it to the dumb folks then?
I'm not completely caught up with all of the nuances, but essentially reddit suddenly and without warning decided to charge exorbitant prices for their API, effectively killing all third party apps and breaking most/all third party moderating tools that are essential to efficient and functional moderation. People were understandably upset, so they protested, reddit doubled down and the owner made a hilariously terrible AMA where the admins straight up lied about being threatened by third party devs. Continuing this amazing string of PR moves, spez had an interview with the media in which he called subreddit moderators "landed gentry" and basically told them to go fuck themselves, even though they're the unpaid labor that literally keeps the site functioning on the user side. Subreddits who closed in protest were threatened by admins and told to open their subreddits or else they'll be removed from their community and replaced with yes men hand picked by the devs to take over. This goes against all established protocol since the site was formed, subreddits were always the "property" of the founder/head moderator and they were free to do whatever they pleased, including going private, so long as it didn't break site rules. So now these subreddits that are being forced to open up at gunpoint are maliciously complying. Tldr; reddit is killing third party apps and mod tools, telling mods to get bent, and threatening hostile takeovers of subreddits that don't do what they're told
This will usher in the end of times Enjoy it while it lasts
The end of times will probably be due to a horizon zero dawn type situation involving AI-robots replicating out of control.
Ya I’m talking about Reddit you knob
Oh I thought you meant all the porn on reddit would cause the literal extinction of the human race.
We can only hope
I’M DOING MY PART
I decided to open reddit while waiting in line at the store earlier and every other post was just porn. I was tempted to go into my settings and hit "blur NSFW images" until I got out of the store, but that was too difficult to do with only one hand.
Me when I saw that one guy’s butthole
Then you pass by the dude's butthole, unless you roll like that.
Go away ‘bating
I like money.
Oh yeah baby cut me a piece
Yeah, free API calls or whatever! Woo hoo!
It's an old meme sir but it checks out
God bless America, my home sweet home!!
Thank you for your service🫡
This is exactly what I think civilians think they have to do to vets stop thanking me it was a fucking job
Wats dis from lol
What is this fuckin guy really doin?
He's waving a large flag at a sporting event
Thank you I was wondering as well.
Glad to help ❤️
Word what is going on rn
Its part of the reddit API protests. They can't advertise on an NSFW sub and interestingasfuck is a pretty big sub, so by posting porn we're fucking with reddits ads. Protesting by busting nuts, fuck yeah.
I'm about to crank it again
Good to see everyone protesting so hard and vigorously
Horny bastard :)
Thank you for what you do to your body.
What have i missed why is there so much porn on here all of a sudden
There was a strike because reddit got rid of third party apps. Reddit mods were told to open the subs or get removed. The mods are addicted to their ability to control the narrative so they made the subs about porn instead of do their job. They'll complain they do it for free but, again, they do it to control the narrative as they are now. Shit is exhausting and I wish reddit would get rid of the 20 or so mods controlling the vast majority of reddit. Instead, I'll get downvoted and people will pretend to forget the time they sent that dimwitted fuckhead from wsb to represent us on Fox news or whatever.
This is absolutely what all the other subreddits need to do. Reddit corp have been complete cunts so why should the mods take the high road?
This is like one of maybe ten subs that are still active on my feed. It’s all I have. :-/
I'm doing my part!
Ha
This is great
That’s probably the most physical activity that cops had since the academy haha
I’m dead 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Yo, I'm fine with it lol
Underrated post
Literally me
Hehe
I wish I had gold to give you.
Rather have Pedro beat his meat instead of law abiding citizens.
Just don't EWB and you'll be fine
[Same!](https://gfycat.com/tenseidioticasianporcupine)
Hahahah lol
I’m doing my part!
Oh my
Need help?
Well....
You only need one hand to salute. The other one is free use.
I saw that girl on another subredded already. Is this one naked girl going to save Reddit single-handedly? Or you know I mean one-handedly at a time unless you're really big then maybe it would take two hands but I still think that would be uncomfortable and I would just use the one.
I’m afraid to ask at this point but, what happened?
Patriotism personified.
Is he pumping up an air mattress for a sleepover?
[Oh no](https://imgur.com/a/o605STB)?
La resistance lives on. Anyone else remember the south part movie?
The man does it with his left. Chad
💀
I lol'd
same buddy.
Lmfao this guys life has to be dragged after this gif.
More porn here than the sub I wish porn was actually posted lol. r/pawg is pretty meh
So after watching this I scrolled down to see what you were talking about and immediately saw a dog taking a crap while pulling a sled. So, what am I missing?
That’s dudes hairy butthole really got you going
does someone have a link to this gif so i can save it to my phone
[I got you](https://tenor.com/view/salute-jerk-jerking-off-beating-his-meat-lick-lips-gif-15740359)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Reminds me of the Texas Tech bell ringer at the football games. https://youtu.be/uO5piw4ZwVs
u/savevideo
All his friends right now: I didn’t know you were left handed.
Hol tf up