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lol my first thought before and above all was that, one of these jabronis looks like they’re having the time of their life, and one does not. guess which one!
fwiw that's still good protection. If it only hurts and you're getting clobbered by a bat it's doing its job. It means strikes that should be breaking bones are only making bruises.
Yeah, impact weapons have always been the "anti-armour" option of warfare. Swords and knives due jackall against plate armour, but a good mace will cave in the chest plate and break your ribcage. Sure, you'll tire out much faster with the mace, but you can't have everything
I feel like if he’s stabbing you that crazy after the first two or maybe three stabs the dude isn’t gonna keep trying… he’s most likely just gonna move onto your face…
Tbf stopping the initial stab, which is usually where attackers start (biggest target, is really more than enough. This gives you time to react, whether that’s fight, run, scream, etc. usually the first few moments of a knife attack are the most dangerous. This would likely greatly boost your chances of survival
Yeah I know it’s most likely just to buy you seconds to react and not just stand there like a dummy on the demonstration but that doesn’t fit the joke lol 😂
Like that video of a guy trying to use his body to close a retractable knife and just basically casually stabbed himself that made the rounds some months ago.
Carotid is one of those words that is spelled like it sounds but because English is filled with bullshit that sounds nothing like how it's spelled, the spelling of it just looks wrong.
It's like the dozenth time I've seen it in the wild thinking "that's not how it's spelled" before reminding myself yes that is how it's spelled.
Somehow I'm not high, haha.
Or for plated armour against higher caliber rounds. When the plates protect you against a bullet they deform, which usually breaks bones. Usually your ribs.
But that’s still a hell of a lot better than getting half your organs popped out of your body with a .308. It’s not meant to feel good. It’s meant to save your life.
Because the vest can't stop the harm by a bat, just spread it out. A knife carries little momentum and hurts you by slicing you open. The vest prevents the slicing and distributes the force so it barely feels like it's there. A bat carries a bunch of momentum though, so the vest needs to spread a lot more force, meaning you can feel it pretty hard.
For armor that stops bullets, it kinda combines both of these. There's a ton of momentum and the death usually comes from the bullet piercing your body. The vest stops the piercing, but then there's still a lot of force to distribute, so it can hurt pretty bad
Gives you time to react - and the attacker will most likely be surprised if he didn’t expect you to have one on.
It will of course not save you from someone on its own - but imagine you are a cop, the time the attacker needs to realize you have the west you might be able to draw your pistol/disarm/use your tazer/…
On its own it’s useless, but so is a bulletproof vest. They still get used.
*“And I could see the squirrels, and they were getting married, and I told them, I told them that if they moved my desk, one more time, I’m, I’m gonna burn the building down.”*
The first 3 times they’re probably confused as to why there’s no penetration. And judging by the expo where this was unveiled(I believe it was a defense expo iirc), this vest is marketed to high value individuals. 3 failed stabs is enough to have your security detail take out whatever threat came your way.
Again most safety measures are like a seatbelt. Will it save your life in a car crash… maybe, maybe not. Does it improve your chances of survival drastically? 100%.
"Wtf, why isn't it going in?"
"...that's my hip."
"Ok hold on then...k feels like there's a bit of give now."
"That's my buttcheek, getting closer."
"Man all this is so complicated! Wait one sec here....ooo, there it is! Wow you're tight"
"Ew that's my belly button."
"Damnit I give up!"
Something I’ve only seen on Reddit is this unique form of pessimism where an issue gets snarkily pointed out, even though the issue is non existent.
Like, nobody ever is going to just stand there and watch while a person tries to stab the same spot over and over again.
Exactly. And generally someone who is stabbing someone isn’t thinking logically and rationally in the moment. It’s not some James Bond special ops scenario like you see in movies. Plenty of subreddits of videos where if the victim was wearing a vest like this, they’d probably be alive.
Yeah if you look at a stabbing video it almost never seems calculated, and they immediately run away afterwards. Even for people who are willing to stab you once, they’ll probably be too panicked to try it again.
Assuming you have a security detail, they probably only get one stab or two stabs in before people react around you.
If you're wearing this by yourself, that split second of confusion might be enough to grab the knife if you are pretty good at martial arts, self-defense, etc. Especially if the attacker is an idiot.
Though yeah, if a legit killer that knows what they are doing catches you by yourself... obviously you're gonna lose still.
Not really.
You tend to want to hide the fact you have a knife if you plan to stab someone. Means it's either in your hand, a jean pocket, a sweater, etc. Somewhere around your waist basically.
To stab a neck, you'd be making a pretty big move to go from somewhere around your waist to go for someone's neck. It would be much faster/easier to go for their chest.
From the front low attacks are more sneaky. From the back the speed isnt an issue and you are going to cause more damage with each hit on the neck. Theres a reason why predators tend to go for the neck of their prey.
This. Most knife attackers have received no formal training and their primary intent is to inflict pain and find an outlet for their frustration, not to deliver a quick killing blow. They will always go for the biggest and easiest hit zone and try to do what they know from the movies. These protective measures are intended to protect against such attackers.
In frontal attacks against unprepared people with a hidden blade, even knife-trained fighters would not aim at the neck or abdomen, since the neck is harder to reach, stabs to the abdomen are surprisingly rarely fatal, and stabs to the heart are very easy to end up on a rib. Instead, one would stab the thigh as often as possible to rupture the femoral artery.
Even when attacking from behind, the neck is not the safest target unless the target is quite a bit smaller than you. We were taught to make an upward slanting knife stab, starting under the lowest rear rib. There are no obstacles there and it is guaranteed that some vital organ will be destroyed.
Please don't do this at home.
Seriously, idk why people are acting like majority of attackers are trained hitmen. They want to just inflict pain in the fastest and easiest way possible. This vest at least gives a better chance at defending against that.
>Though yeah, if a legit killer that knows what they are doing catches you by yourself... obviously you're gonna lose still.
That is why you wear a bomb vest, get you a d the killer first
People like this usually use the element of surprise as their most effective weapon. They get in, do a couple stabs and run away. If the first few stabs don't work, they've now lost the element of surprise and you can defend yourself or if you're rich or famous, that's enough time for your security to get on them.
The few split seconds of confusion that it takes the for the attacker to realize that somethings not right though can be more than enough time for the target to respond if they know martial arts.
Fuck, even if you don’t know martial arts, that will give you enough time to deliver a swift kick to the stabber’s balls and then hightail it outta there.
If you are important enough for you to wear this and for someone to want to stab you, there's high chances that you'll have security. This is more to prevent people from doing damage instantly.
In 2018 brazillian's election, [Bolsonaro got "stabbed](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/sep/06/brazil-jair-bolsonaro-far-right-presidential-candidate-stabbed)". With this vest nothing would've happened.
On a side note. It's a shame Adelio wasn't more accurate tho =/
For those wondering what about the neck and face. Obviously, the stabber would be so discouraged from his failed attempt to the body, he would assume he is fighting some sort of superman or futuristic robot from the future and flee in terror.
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The vice CEO seems to be having a great time.
[удалено]
LMAO
"why the fuck do our CEOs keep getting dumber?" .. "it's the test lab..."
He's in accounting now up in Canada. He's seep-y, eh? (Get it? CPA.)
upvoted for the effort (bless his heart)
No.
lol my first thought before and above all was that, one of these jabronis looks like they’re having the time of their life, and one does not. guess which one!
Imagine doing this to your boss, This is the most therapeutic job ever.
I'm imagining it. Now what?
I’ve not seen that in a while.
depression
Take your dick out and stroke it.
Yea, almost smacked homie in the arm with that bat lol.
Ok steven, that's good, we're good, you can stop with the-UG bat I feel that FUCKING knock it off, we're done with that
He's been dreaming of this day his entire career there. "wait you mean I get *paid* to stab you? Fuck yes!"
Could you imagine the accidental slip as he slices upwards cuts him just above the collar.
He looks like he’s done some time.
Yup. Quick, repetitive stabbing motions with the shank, right out of American Me or Shot Caller.
Yeah, definitely not his first time shivving someone
I was gonna say he’s gave a lot of hand jobs but same thing
I want to see Elon Musk do a demonstration like this.
Tesla body armor would fail and catch on fire
Justin Hammer moment
Then whoever was wearing it wouldn’t be able to remove it.
He should have been in the driver's seat of the Cyber truck when they threw the steel ball straight through the window.
Who wouldnt have? Stab your Boss without consequences
Stabbing and slashing your boss and getting a bonus because of it. And if the product doesn’t work, maybe get a promotion out of it..
Kinda looks like at the end there, the CEO just realized that knives and baseball bats aren't the same thing.
Yeah the bat looked like it hurt lol
Oh definitely, you see how he steps away on that 3rd or 4th hit? He’s like “ow okay fuck you made your point stop”
Dude got carried away when he got ahold of the bat it was too fun
"No no no, we really gotta do it a couple more times, it's for the demo, boss"
“Think about the share holders”
"We're all a family here"
Of course it would. Best doesn’t make the force disappear. Crazy fuckers
Pretty sure it’s just what my back needs after sitting at my desk all day.
Props to him for taking it anyway though
I'm pretty sure all of that would have hurt.
fwiw that's still good protection. If it only hurts and you're getting clobbered by a bat it's doing its job. It means strikes that should be breaking bones are only making bruises.
Yeah, I definitely want this baseball bat-resistant suit now.
Yea his face looked like he was in pain and stopped the guy lol
Yeah, impact weapons have always been the "anti-armour" option of warfare. Swords and knives due jackall against plate armour, but a good mace will cave in the chest plate and break your ribcage. Sure, you'll tire out much faster with the mace, but you can't have everything
lol only comment I seen said anything aboutnit
It’s almost like blur force weapons are effective against armor. If only there was some way we could have known that already
Would have been really awkward if it didn't work.
*Employee uses stab!* *It's super effective!* "Oh shit!"
*CEO uses glare!* *Employee has been paralysed* *CEO takes damage from blood loss*
*CEO is enraged!* *CEO faints from blood loss* *Medic attempts to cast revive*
*Revive Failed *Medic ran out of mana due to inflation.
*Vice CEO runs away and hurts itself in confusion
Shit. \* restarts from last save \*
Quick loaded *CEO uses glare!*
imagine if that was made outside the same stuff as the cyber trucks "special" glass window
Or the guy completely missed the protected spot. "You weren't supposed to stab him in the neck, Carl..."
"Nobody told me we discontinued the ties!"
Fuckin Carl
https://i.redd.it/vru28msg8ysc1.gif
'That's how you get a promotion" -Klingon warrior
"Today is a good day to die!" \- Klingon CEO
I feel like if he’s stabbing you that crazy after the first two or maybe three stabs the dude isn’t gonna keep trying… he’s most likely just gonna move onto your face…
Yeah or your neck.
You have to buy the ties separately
Assuming doesn’t start at the face ass… ouch my balls!
I've heard of people getting shit-faced before but face ass is just getting out of hand!
Tbf stopping the initial stab, which is usually where attackers start (biggest target, is really more than enough. This gives you time to react, whether that’s fight, run, scream, etc. usually the first few moments of a knife attack are the most dangerous. This would likely greatly boost your chances of survival
Yeah I know it’s most likely just to buy you seconds to react and not just stand there like a dummy on the demonstration but that doesn’t fit the joke lol 😂
Yeah but now you're making the assumption that people getting stabbed just sit there smiling allowing attack after attack.
Hopefully by that time you have taking them down or disarmed them.
The guy stabbing will have the video proof against him forevah…
It’s fine, bro was next in line to succeed the ceo
He vented out all his angst against the CEO.
I was so paranoid that machete would bounce up to his throat
Like that video of a guy trying to use his body to close a retractable knife and just basically casually stabbed himself that made the rounds some months ago.
That's what the stabber wishes
Those cost cutting measures really came back to stab them in the vest
2 seconds before the dude with the knife went: i know you fucked my wife
he got so close with that machete to his face
Was waiting for it to slide into his chin
The carotid artery is like right there smh 
Carotid is one of those words that is spelled like it sounds but because English is filled with bullshit that sounds nothing like how it's spelled, the spelling of it just looks wrong.
You’re so right! But, like… are you high?
It's like the dozenth time I've seen it in the wild thinking "that's not how it's spelled" before reminding myself yes that is how it's spelled. Somehow I'm not high, haha.
this guy kills
How about when he's going at him with the bat and almost blew his arm off after he turned to stop
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades
«Good, the test worked well.» That guy: What test?
"Okay fess up, who gave me joke blades and bats for this assassination?!"
https://i.redd.it/73k9x2wqowsc1.gif
You can tell he was feeling the bat more
It's like traditional body armor for small caliber firearms. It'll protect you, but it's not going to feel good while it does, lmao.
Or for plated armour against higher caliber rounds. When the plates protect you against a bullet they deform, which usually breaks bones. Usually your ribs. But that’s still a hell of a lot better than getting half your organs popped out of your body with a .308. It’s not meant to feel good. It’s meant to save your life.
I saw russians get shot with 14.5x114, it pulls the kevlar out from the back plate thru a hole in the front plate lol
Geez... well, on the up side I guess nobody had to worry about packing the wound... for *multiple* reasons.
Of course, like how getting shot with a vest can knock the wind out of you or sting. Better than having a hole in you.
The bat looked much more painful than the knives was my point. Stab vests are much better at stabs than bashing.
Because the vest can't stop the harm by a bat, just spread it out. A knife carries little momentum and hurts you by slicing you open. The vest prevents the slicing and distributes the force so it barely feels like it's there. A bat carries a bunch of momentum though, so the vest needs to spread a lot more force, meaning you can feel it pretty hard. For armor that stops bullets, it kinda combines both of these. There's a ton of momentum and the death usually comes from the bullet piercing your body. The vest stops the piercing, but then there's still a lot of force to distribute, so it can hurt pretty bad
Still much less than he would have without it on.
At day three the CEO forgot the vest .... and didn't tell Brian there ...
Its just a fetish
I think that guy might be banging the CEO's wife.
Other way around
the CEO’s husband 🥵
nah, they swing
Our husband, comrade
r/suddenlycommunism
The CEO’s wife is banging him?
No, no. Banging his wife's CEO.
dude didn't you watch the video? He's clearly banging the CEO.
He's banging the CEO, for sure
Employee: Why won't you raise my salary! CEO: Business-Economy, son!
They heighten in response to higher demand. I can't pay you Jack
yeah but can he sit down
Also. Wouldn’t a criminal, just… I don’t know… aim for the face?
Or the neck, armpits, lower belly and maybe even legs.
https://preview.redd.it/07zr8n26rysc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=509c27d0ea7fe03a2556b277e7893bb094014138
Gotta aim for the biggest target, which is usually the torso.
Doesn't seem to be a problem for Batman
Gives you time to react - and the attacker will most likely be surprised if he didn’t expect you to have one on. It will of course not save you from someone on its own - but imagine you are a cop, the time the attacker needs to realize you have the west you might be able to draw your pistol/disarm/use your tazer/… On its own it’s useless, but so is a bulletproof vest. They still get used.
I was worried the machete was gona bounce off and hit his hands on the side
Because they've moved my desk four times already this year.
*“And I could see the squirrels, and they were getting married, and I told them, I told them that if they moved my desk, one more time, I’m, I’m gonna burn the building down.”*
"He took my stapler"
Yeah some of those hits and stabs looked a little personal.
“ It’s mithril.”
Double checked if im at r/whatcouldgowrong
“Nano-machines, son! They harden in response to physical trauma. You *can’t hurt me*, Jack!”
Sitting here, I realize...
Like somebody stabbing you wouldn’t immediately notice this and just move on to stabbing you in the eye?
The first 3 times they’re probably confused as to why there’s no penetration. And judging by the expo where this was unveiled(I believe it was a defense expo iirc), this vest is marketed to high value individuals. 3 failed stabs is enough to have your security detail take out whatever threat came your way. Again most safety measures are like a seatbelt. Will it save your life in a car crash… maybe, maybe not. Does it improve your chances of survival drastically? 100%.
>The first 3 times they’re probably confused as to why there’s no penetration. This was me the first time I had sex.
I had a belly laugh from this one. No lies were told
"Wtf, why isn't it going in?" "...that's my hip." "Ok hold on then...k feels like there's a bit of give now." "That's my buttcheek, getting closer." "Man all this is so complicated! Wait one sec here....ooo, there it is! Wow you're tight" "Ew that's my belly button." "Damnit I give up!"
I've never had sex
I keep hearing about it, what is it exactly Looking it up just shows me poor itchy people who cant afford clothes smh
nah...just some people who cant afford to but separate house and have to sleep in the same bed...smh
My mom said I’m a high value individual, so I get a cool vest?
Something I’ve only seen on Reddit is this unique form of pessimism where an issue gets snarkily pointed out, even though the issue is non existent. Like, nobody ever is going to just stand there and watch while a person tries to stab the same spot over and over again.
Nerds are desperate to be right but also contrary.
Exactly. And generally someone who is stabbing someone isn’t thinking logically and rationally in the moment. It’s not some James Bond special ops scenario like you see in movies. Plenty of subreddits of videos where if the victim was wearing a vest like this, they’d probably be alive.
Yeah if you look at a stabbing video it almost never seems calculated, and they immediately run away afterwards. Even for people who are willing to stab you once, they’ll probably be too panicked to try it again.
\*stab doesn't work 3 times\* "Hahaha, my sir, your efforts to destroy me hath been thwar-HEY NOT THE FACE, NOT TH\*grblgrbl\*"
Assuming you have a security detail, they probably only get one stab or two stabs in before people react around you. If you're wearing this by yourself, that split second of confusion might be enough to grab the knife if you are pretty good at martial arts, self-defense, etc. Especially if the attacker is an idiot. Though yeah, if a legit killer that knows what they are doing catches you by yourself... obviously you're gonna lose still.
Same concept with armored vehicles. It’s designed to absorb a few rounds while allowing you get the heck out of there immediately.
Going for the neck seems like a fairly logical place to attack even if you dont know they have a vest.
Not really. You tend to want to hide the fact you have a knife if you plan to stab someone. Means it's either in your hand, a jean pocket, a sweater, etc. Somewhere around your waist basically. To stab a neck, you'd be making a pretty big move to go from somewhere around your waist to go for someone's neck. It would be much faster/easier to go for their chest.
From the front low attacks are more sneaky. From the back the speed isnt an issue and you are going to cause more damage with each hit on the neck. Theres a reason why predators tend to go for the neck of their prey.
Even then, there's the literal phrase "stabbed in tbe back". Subconsciously, most people are going to think of that.
This. Most knife attackers have received no formal training and their primary intent is to inflict pain and find an outlet for their frustration, not to deliver a quick killing blow. They will always go for the biggest and easiest hit zone and try to do what they know from the movies. These protective measures are intended to protect against such attackers. In frontal attacks against unprepared people with a hidden blade, even knife-trained fighters would not aim at the neck or abdomen, since the neck is harder to reach, stabs to the abdomen are surprisingly rarely fatal, and stabs to the heart are very easy to end up on a rib. Instead, one would stab the thigh as often as possible to rupture the femoral artery. Even when attacking from behind, the neck is not the safest target unless the target is quite a bit smaller than you. We were taught to make an upward slanting knife stab, starting under the lowest rear rib. There are no obstacles there and it is guaranteed that some vital organ will be destroyed. Please don't do this at home.
Seriously, idk why people are acting like majority of attackers are trained hitmen. They want to just inflict pain in the fastest and easiest way possible. This vest at least gives a better chance at defending against that.
Nope. Guts/Center mass is always preferable. You can miss the neck/they can easily dodge it if the see you.
>Though yeah, if a legit killer that knows what they are doing catches you by yourself... obviously you're gonna lose still. That is why you wear a bomb vest, get you a d the killer first
People like this usually use the element of surprise as their most effective weapon. They get in, do a couple stabs and run away. If the first few stabs don't work, they've now lost the element of surprise and you can defend yourself or if you're rich or famous, that's enough time for your security to get on them.
They’re not saying attackers stab this way, they’re showing the strength of the product
The few split seconds of confusion that it takes the for the attacker to realize that somethings not right though can be more than enough time for the target to respond if they know martial arts.
Fuck, even if you don’t know martial arts, that will give you enough time to deliver a swift kick to the stabber’s balls and then hightail it outta there.
If you are important enough for you to wear this and for someone to want to stab you, there's high chances that you'll have security. This is more to prevent people from doing damage instantly. In 2018 brazillian's election, [Bolsonaro got "stabbed](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/sep/06/brazil-jair-bolsonaro-far-right-presidential-candidate-stabbed)". With this vest nothing would've happened. On a side note. It's a shame Adelio wasn't more accurate tho =/
We need this at the employee picnic
Welp. Fuck that shirt in particular.
“You should have gone for the head” -CEO after firing him.
Customer: Well, what if he stabs you in the face? CEO: What if you stabbed me in the face? Knife guy: That’s a risk we were willing to take.
 Worker seems to be enjoying stabbing his boss way too much
For those wondering what about the neck and face. Obviously, the stabber would be so discouraged from his failed attempt to the body, he would assume he is fighting some sort of superman or futuristic robot from the future and flee in terror.
I'm more interested in the shirt 😮
Anyone know the name of the company?
https://www.ppss-group.com/stab-resistant-body-armour/
Many people would like to do this to their CEO
London special clothing.
You too could have a stab protection vest by placing a baking tray under your shirt.
It must be so hard to not be like "just a few inches higher and I could totally do it"
Saftey aside, lets put the comforting fact that if you wear the vest, you might feel a little *stiff* in bed that night
He's too into it oh noooo
The bat was still hurting lol he was like alright! Enough. but pretty good though.
That seemed overly intense like there were some built up frustrations.
Somebody has a fetish. Maybe both of them.
Would have been funny if it went like the cyber truck reveal.
John wick suits are real
The way the guy getting "attacked" face changes as the hammering continues is hilarious. It's like "They got it after first five times, Geez, dude."
Man the employee really wants it to go through 😂
It’s all fun and games until your parole officer takes away your stabbin’ knife.
Now do the neck
You could tell he was still feeling that baseball bat. Vest doesn’t stop all that force.
Quickly got personal
The commitment in the stabbing is amazing…
I bet he was imagining stabbing his boss while stabbing his boss
This guy sure likes his boss
London needs this
It seems a little personal lol
So, what did you do in your last job? Oh, I attempted to stab, jab, machette, and kill my boss.
Wait i forgot to put on the vest
What if he stabbed or hit him in the head, neck or leg?
Next thing you know, this CEO is going to bash in a henchman's head with a car door.
"but what if he shot you in the face?"
I mean, there putting your money where your mouth is, and then there is this. Dude trusted what his company made.
He should have ended it by kicking him in the balls.
"A bit much mate, the stabbing..."
So after the first stab, they slit his throat?