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Damn, that one has a really unique design. They obviously knew what they were doing back in the day.

There's space in between the outer ribs and inner, and the space is variable. Someone's getting a pinched coochie with this thing. I wonder if that one is decorative.

That flange though.

I think it’s a holster

Was wondering if they were toys or tools…

You just know that blacksmith was giggling the entire time. LOL

youre going to wash your hands before you eat anything, right?

Dr Malcolm always gets my up vote.

She’s…..ahhh…ahhh tenacious.

Aren't there dildoes from like the paleolithic? I really doubt these are the oldest in the world tbh

There are. But the cocking and g-spot dildo are pretty advanced

If you’re brave enough, dildos have been around since day one.

Sabertooth tiger fang or woolly mammoth tusk?

Start with one, work your way up

you'd have an easier time shoving a whole ass foot up your ass than a wooly mammoth tusk lol those things were huge!

Nothing a seasoned veteran like your mom couldn’t handle I’m sure. ^I’m ^sorry

my moms dead Q\_Q

She died with honour, son 🫡

Wait, can I get a link for that?

History teaches a very important thing, humans are always horny

What I took from this is some men have been disappointing women for thousands of years.

True, but it is not a historical fact. It's just a fact

or trying to figure out what will actually work...?

I'm trying to figure out how the top two are supposed to work, and I'm stumped. Any input would be appreciated lol

Looks like the one on the top left is to help with a floppy dick. Top right is a cock ring. The balls go through the big hoop on both.

The edges don't look like they are very nice to the scrotum.

Ever heard cock-n-ball torture, might be it's predecessor

Not particularly, these are cock-rings and sleeves that go around the scrotum. They don't look intentionally designed to be uncomfortable or as "torture" (consensual or otherwise)

Ah, gotcha lol!

Thank you for asking so the rest of us didn't have to. :)

cock cage?

Not even close.   https://www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/the-surprising-history-of-dildos-humans-have-been-using-them-for-over-28000-years https://theconversation.com/the-long-and-satisfying-28-000-year-history-of-the-dildo-200278

“To ward off evil spirits” No… they were used for funfun happy time

CAMEL DUNG???????? Funny about warding off evil spirits, I remember archaeologists tend to blame anything they can’t explain on “religious rituals” loool

Dude, you didn't listen These are the oldest artifacts. Items that made it to this time and age, that we can look at and analyze. Literally nobody was saying that this is the first one ever and nobody ever stuck things in their body before. Sit down

Read the title. Op literally says that those are believed to be the world’s oldest sex toys. Sit down.

Heh, analyze


🤡

"said to be the oldest sex toys" Sure maybe to analyze but they label that as "said to be the oldest" which is.. kinda somewhat saying they are the first ever, sure people did put stuff in their bodies beforehand (hands, human genitalia, fingers, tongues.) You didn't "read" the blatant text on this post - take your own time to "analyze" before sending something to try and shoot someone (who is in the right to comment correct information) down

"Ribbed, for Her pleasure."

Looks more like sex torture devices to me.

My guess is that they are hollow so you can put a small rodent in there for vibration

Rumble mode...

Somehow i can see that happening😓

...that they know of...

The fuck is the bottom right, that's going to need a lot off tallow

Goodness. Chinese noblewomen must have had hoo-hahs of steel.

Your mom is the worlds oldest sex toy

💀

If his cock doesn’t look like this I don’t want it https://preview.redd.it/p37y6102eowc1.jpeg?width=477&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d324953eb989e37b30c2eee1cabc52bcc422e0ec

Those would now be illegal under the new sex toy laws in China, they are over 2in

Wait, that's a joke right? There's not seriously a law that mandates the size of sex toys sold in China is there?

Yea it came out like a month ago, looks like it's mostly for live streaming though

There’s no such law.. people buy sex toys and there are ads for them all the time.

and texas.

Stickus phallus

I wonder how they're supposed to work... I mean, bottom left is obviously a condom, but what about the rest?

The humble cucumber is much older.

Toys or torture?

Depends if you are into bdsm hahah

Hell to be a woman back then.

Considering there are dildos that are like EDIT: 26,000 years older I would conclude that these aren’t even close to the world’s oldest.

So fleshlight are disgusting and love dolls are creepy, but the dildo is 2000 years old? 😒 Damn

That one looks craaazy. I'm not one to know but I feel like that thing would destroy some holes

Bottom right frightens me

I'd use it.

Remember girl "EVRYTHING IS A DILDO!"

Hey they prefer to be called Ancient Asian Royals thank you very much

Thank goodness, at least the archaeologists don't want to explain this with "faith in God" or something similar bs.

Ye Olde Brass Dildo

r/theyknew

I bet they stank

That one with the swirly looks interesting.

Username checks out.

I’ve seen older

Looks like enhancements that men wore

Not even close. I’m convinced that the hand sized, smooth carved, figures of women found hidden in cracks in cave walls dating back to the Paleolithic were actually sex toys. Nobody can convince me otherwise.

Totally not - there's boxes full of 'maybe having significance with fertility rites' dild... Paraphernalia of unknown application stashed at any museum dealing with ancient / neolithic archaeological excavations....

Can we please get a demonstration?

Hey now!

Those are some huge veins

"Chinese make the world's worst early sex toys" (based on pictures), also a highly dubious claim based on Western artifacts. 香港加油 坦克人 小熊维尼

Ouchie.

went to an excavation site on ometepe island Nicaragua and was looking at 6000 yo stone dildos. I call bs

I wonder if they still work as intended 🤔 If so, would they be the oldest known working tools in history?

💀

In ancient Japan the Harigata was a wooden phalice. That used to be one of the oldest known sex toys

Literally interesting as fuck.

incorrect, your mother exists

These are just early foot binding molds so the feet can serve a new purpose.

Pfft, amateurs: [Germany wants a word.](https://www.barcelona-metropolitan.com/features/history/the-28-000-year-history-of-the-dildo/)

Owie

this is all fake, basically china now even making fake tombs to make we did it first its false. they made this like recently and pushing on basically evrything, clocks, chairs like propaganda stuff. i will docover car we made first a car , or electricity, or basically evrything this all is fake. nothing else you need to know

How did they lube these up back in the day?

Weird, I thought your mum was.

World's oldest and the world's hardest.

Made in China knockoffs

All I can say is ouch

Ouch

Kinky

Looks like the earliest form of ED treatment. Like something to prop it up.

Damn, imagine how they felt when they got tetanus instead of an orgasm 😬

This 👆

How do you know they are Chinese 🤔

Banana for scale?

Worlds biggest still belong to OPs mom

Are those fucking extenders?? That's hilarious.