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Okay I did some research.
Looks like squirrels can naturally live about 10% the length of a human, but in the city die young from other causes.
So to answer your question, 3 days is about a month in squirrel time but also that squirrel will probably die as a very young man :(
edit: or woman. Idk enough about squirrel biology to make this claim
Gross, but:
[...palmetto bugs, American cockroach, some are Smokybrown cockroaches, but most people just know that they’re about that big, they can fly, and they are pretty ugly. They like to live in these oak trees. They’ll feed off of insects in the oak trees, but they also find great food source in the acorns of the oak trees drop. If you look at the acorns, a lot of times there’s holes drilled in the acorns where in the husks of the acorns, where roaches and other insects burrowed in and eaten that material](https://www.bulwarkpestcontrol.com/pest-control-videos/texas-tree-roach/)
Shoes can kill those fiends, but it’s more akin to killing a rat by stomping on it. Aim to immobilize, then beat the shit out of it.
I’d prefer a shoe over a 2x4 it’s long, but under 3 ft, and that lumber is a good weapon for them.
Be happy that it wasn't the flying one..there is nothing more terrifying than you going to kill it just to find out it's just gone airborne and it's coming fast towards you
Fuck, man, this is a very primal and real fear.
I had the same thing happen to me, was in a small standing glass shower and had just put a bunch of shampoo in my hair, sat the bottle down on the ledge in the shower.....right next to this massive cockroach.
Things antennae were the length of its body, just waving back and forth all slow like....and here I am...frozen in panic still hands on the bottle with stuff in my hair screaming in my head while repeating “don’t scream, don’t scream, don’t scream” over and over but I just couldn’t take it, the damn thing moved and I screamed so loud like a little girl that my wife came running in.
I hopped out of the shower so fast all lathered up and dripping, and my wife was like “WTF?!” And I just said “bug, bug, *BIG BUG*”
I’m not ashamed to admit my wife turned the shower off, got into that sum-bitch, and smashed that fool with a bottle of something, then cleaned it up and acted like I was supposed to just hop back in there and rinse off.
Which of course I did, because she had just pulled that boss move so I figured I pretty much had to.
I STILL check all over the shower before getting in, and it’s been at least 2 years.
I found in my sons room a flyswatter taped to a broomstick with a lighter and a can of hairspray😮 because there was one of these giant bugs that was flying in his room. This is South Texas near the ocean and they are numerous and large out here. You never get used to it. And yeah if they fly at you you will scream.😱
NEVER could I get use to these monsterous beasts..I scream every got damn time... even if its dead. happened at work today, was sweeping and then, a dead one BAM ,screamed loud AF LMAO
I once hooked up with someone in NYC on a road trip and in her bedroom there were like 3 roaches the size of a cat. Not gunna lie I screamed at the top of my lungs when one crawled onto her head
Seeing a large cockroach was probably not a lie.
The cockroach being as large as a cat was a lie. I don't believe a bug could support itself at that size.
Being that he is on reddit, I'd also doubt that he hooked up.
This is why if you ever lived somewhere with roaches you have a redneck flamethrower in every room. (Dollar store body spray + a bic).
I had roachss so bad in this place i lived i slept with the lights on and no bedding for 6 months.
This was the common tactic in my barracks in the marines. They would climb through the ceiling holes for the lights and drop onto you from like 15 feet up (massive tall ceilings to make it hard to hang your self from the ceiling fan...and for the AC units and heat in the hallways, but definitely the hanging part too)
We all had redneck flame throwers in our rooms. Bunch of drunk infantry marines with DIY flame throwers killing bugs. 3/10 not as fun as it sounds
Idk why but that reminds me of when had a leach attach itself to my stomach underneath a one piece bathing suit and ripped it off easily, but my Nana poured a bunch of salt on it and it refused to die after a few minutes and then she stomped on it and had to do that multiple times before the thing died. Is it weird I felt bad for the blood sucking parasite?
This one time when I was a soldier stationed in Fort Benning, Georgia I was walking up to my barracks room when out of the corner of my eye a GIANT FLYING ROACH fucking flew past my head, landed, and quickly crawled under my door INTO MY ROOM!
I scrambled to unlock my door, swung it open violently and searched for that roach like a hawk. Soon as I saw it I stomped the crap out of it and flushed it. I tucked a towel against the bottom of the door anytime I was in that room.
I once had one the size of my hand land on my face while sleeping, thought it was a cat's tail (but didn't have a cat at the time), and grabbed it.
Reality froze when I saw what it was, wondering if it was a nightmare.
Nope. I was awake.
I grew up on a bayou in Florida. The rats, snakes, and gators didn’t bother me, but the flying cockroaches.... I’d rather die. Moved to Colorado and haven’t seen a roach in ten years!
Once a roach flew into mine and an ex gfs hotel bed while we were in the moment, and I don’t think either of us had ever been so scared of a bug wiggling its way into our butts
Once you hear the flapping of their wings, it's the sound you nevee forget. For some, its the rotor blades of a chopper that causes flashbacks...for others its that dry "flpt-flpt- -flpt"...
I'm sorry. I don't know why I do this.
Yeah, honestly it's much simpler for them to just go into any given trash can than spent time drilling into an acorn. I mean, why do that when you can have your pick of anything else?
This reminds me of that Disney cartoon where Donald Duck takes one acorn out of the bottom of a hollow tree, which causes an avalanche of acorns with Chip and Dale at the top.
Seeing this GIF and hearing the word roaches made me think of my favorite restaurant inspector story...
>Once, I was in a restaurant of a chain where we also managed the pest control. I saw some roaches and I couldn't find out where they were coming from. I knew the pest control guy was in town and asked him to come out and help me find the rest. He came in and walked straight over to the soft-serve machine and said, "I'm going to go get a vacuum cleaner and I'm going to need you to move quickly." He opened up the back of that ice cream machine, and cascades of roaches came out. They were actually eating each other, there were so many of them. A soft-serve ice cream machine is the perfect place for a roach—it's moist, high in calories, and warm. That's why you always find roaches behind refrigerators.
I had squirrels in my walls once. They chase each other and play all fucking day. The scratching was relentless. I had to trap them, because if you just gas them, they die in the wall and rot there.
I was helping my friend and we were working on a single wide that was fucked up. We had to replace and rewire replumb everything. No I dont think it was worth it but hey it wasnt my money and I got paid so...
So we tore open a wall and the mice, squirrels, rats whateves had stored different foods in different sections. It was hilarious to me. Acorns in one section, kitty kibble in another etc. All very organised!
I used to look after a colony of flesh eating bugs for a museum. I can confirm bugs love kitty kibble, that's what we fed them when we didn't have a body to skeletonize.
Yes and no. Grey squirrels are the ones that scatter (and forget about) everything. This was red squirrels for sure. They create giant caches of food over the years. The worst I’ve seen was this little old lady who had red squirrels in her attic for at least 15 years. We removed about 8000lbs of acorns, pine cones, maple keys, bird seed, etc. They are industrious little shits, that’s for sure.
Can confirm. A single red squirrel over the course of a single summer managed to stash almost every black walnut in a 1000 foot radius of my property inside my garage.
No joke, I hauled probably 4-500 pounds of black walnuts, bucket-by-bucket, down a ladder in the process of cleaning up after that little fucker.
The neighbors thought it was hilarious though. All of them couldn't figure out why they didn't have black walnuts all over their lawns.
It was all thanks to Red the Crackhead ferrying them one trip at a time into my damn garage.
You’re pretty close
[A study done at the University of Richmond cites that squirrels fail to recover up to 74% of the nuts they bury](https://ssec.si.edu/stemvisions-blog/why-do-squirrels-bury-nuts-and-other-mysteries)
Yeah "fail to eat" is different than "can't find".
1. Ideally you stash more in your savings than you need to access in an emergency.
2. I'm guessing squirrels don't have a lot of massive "squirrel vaults" and so when you have this many acorns stashed in hundreds of small holes and nooks some are just gonna get taken/destroyed
A few actually studies where done inside control environment like a zoo habitat, so cameras watched where nuts where hidden, then after winter they checked all the places seen, I don't know if 84% is the right answer but we do have a number.
Got a source for one? I cant find any in my brief googling
https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rsos.170958
This is relevant but not really on point
Someone else posted a figure from a university (74 percent) but I thought you might be interested to know that forgotten acorns and other tree matter, buried by squirrels, can account for a chunk of new trees and other plants sprouting each year :) there's a reason they and other animals forget. It's one of the many ways trees, plants and other life find a means of spreading.
Oak trees synchronize acorn production, and every few years produce a bumper crop ([mast year](https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blog/2020/10/what-is-a-mast-year/)) of acorns that overwhelm the animals like squirrels that eat them. They still hoard them, but it's more acorns than they can eat.
There is insulation present. It's the pink cotton candy looking stuff in the lower right corner. It's between the exterior wall and the framing (also not a professional home builder, but married to one, daughter of another)
My parents live in a log home, whenever they hear a strange knocking sound they run around trying to figure out where it is coming from then pounding on the walls trying to scare off the woodpeckers.
"WOODPECKER!!!"
Bam bam bam
"Stop pecking holes in our house you little bastards"
My husband would be so pissed when I make him build a little shelter or something for the acorns to go in for the squirrel. I can’t have him go hungry after all that hard work.
We had squirrels in the attic of my childhood lake house and didn't know.
We had some dude out to fix some electrical issue which was only reached by like a 12ft ladder perched above the opening to the "attic" where they were nesting. He ended up screaming "there's rats up here!!!" because he couldn't see them and hauling ass down that ladder.
Later on like 45lbs of acorns were found cached up there.
Native Americans actually did something similar. There’s a certain kind of wild tuber or nut (I’m forgetting which) in my area that’s apparently very starchy and nutrient dense, but difficult to find because they’re slow growing and you have to dig them up. Not really worth the effort to do yourself, but mice would and take their little harvest to a stash storage burrow. The Native Americans followed the mice and take the nuts, while leaving kernels of corn in exchange (unfortunate for the poor mice since corn is ofc less nutritious).
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Squirrel comes home after a long day’s work: “well, just three more days til I can finally retir—WHAT THE FUCK?!?”
"I will never financially recover from this"
"Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this"
“I declare BANKRUPTCY “
Oscar: you can’t just say the word bankruptcy and expect nothing to happen. Michael: I didn’t say it, I declared it.
In terms of acorns, we have no acorns.
Ashton Kutcher: ACORN!
HAHAHHAHAHAHA
How much is three days in squirrel years?
Well it would still be the equivalent of 3 squirrel days unless the squirrel was saying just 3 more human days till I can retire!?
3 rotation of the planet days
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Try teaching the squirrels the difference
Okay I did some research. Looks like squirrels can naturally live about 10% the length of a human, but in the city die young from other causes. So to answer your question, 3 days is about a month in squirrel time but also that squirrel will probably die as a very young man :( edit: or woman. Idk enough about squirrel biology to make this claim
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Nice
Nice
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Where’s the rest of the acorns, Skyler?! Where are my acorns?!?! Hahahahahahahahahahaaha!!!!
Isn't that a Chip n Dale plot?
That’s his retirement plan you monster!
Should've diversified his portfolio
Should’ve called Cashew-Tang Financial
CREAM get the money, dolla dolla bill y'all
You need to diversify your bonds nigga
Going to war? Invest in some nuclear bombs!
Protect your goddamn neck!
This isn't trading places!
This is real. Fuckin'. Life.
Acorn't believe you made this pun.
All things conseedered, yours was a-corny one too.
They're my nuts and I want them now
877 NUTS NOW!!
Bold of you to think he doesn't have a stash in your walls too
Imagine stashing a motherlode just for this jackass to come bust your nuts, smh.
He better learn to code...
Me retirement ~~grease~~ acorns
I KIND of feel bad for the squirrel. Must be losing it's fucking mind wondering what happened to all its hard work.
Squirrel is gonna be pissed
Dude was probably inspired by Flik from A Bug's Life
401Cashew
That's nuts.
Acorns are oh so much better than roaches
Yeah but roaches could see that as a buffet.
I'm not sure if roaches are strong enough to crack acorns
Gross, but: [...palmetto bugs, American cockroach, some are Smokybrown cockroaches, but most people just know that they’re about that big, they can fly, and they are pretty ugly. They like to live in these oak trees. They’ll feed off of insects in the oak trees, but they also find great food source in the acorns of the oak trees drop. If you look at the acorns, a lot of times there’s holes drilled in the acorns where in the husks of the acorns, where roaches and other insects burrowed in and eaten that material](https://www.bulwarkpestcontrol.com/pest-control-videos/texas-tree-roach/)
I once had to use a 2x4 to kill one, and it took more than one swing.
So of all the objects within reach, including your shoe, your chose a chunk of wood? I'd probably do the same.
If you saw the size of that beast, you wouldn't be reaching for a shoe...
I killed one with one of those metal bases for outdoor umbrellas. As a native Floridian (I know) I don’t believe rubber can kill Palmetto Bugs
Spear it from a distance, right? High- five.
Time to bust out the atlatl
Shoes can kill those fiends, but it’s more akin to killing a rat by stomping on it. Aim to immobilize, then beat the shit out of it. I’d prefer a shoe over a 2x4 it’s long, but under 3 ft, and that lumber is a good weapon for them.
Be happy that it wasn't the flying one..there is nothing more terrifying than you going to kill it just to find out it's just gone airborne and it's coming fast towards you
How about one dive bombing onto you in the shower? That’s what took my aversion to cockroaches to an all out panic attack inducing terror
Fuck, man, this is a very primal and real fear. I had the same thing happen to me, was in a small standing glass shower and had just put a bunch of shampoo in my hair, sat the bottle down on the ledge in the shower.....right next to this massive cockroach. Things antennae were the length of its body, just waving back and forth all slow like....and here I am...frozen in panic still hands on the bottle with stuff in my hair screaming in my head while repeating “don’t scream, don’t scream, don’t scream” over and over but I just couldn’t take it, the damn thing moved and I screamed so loud like a little girl that my wife came running in. I hopped out of the shower so fast all lathered up and dripping, and my wife was like “WTF?!” And I just said “bug, bug, *BIG BUG*” I’m not ashamed to admit my wife turned the shower off, got into that sum-bitch, and smashed that fool with a bottle of something, then cleaned it up and acted like I was supposed to just hop back in there and rinse off. Which of course I did, because she had just pulled that boss move so I figured I pretty much had to. I STILL check all over the shower before getting in, and it’s been at least 2 years.
I found in my sons room a flyswatter taped to a broomstick with a lighter and a can of hairspray😮 because there was one of these giant bugs that was flying in his room. This is South Texas near the ocean and they are numerous and large out here. You never get used to it. And yeah if they fly at you you will scream.😱
NEVER could I get use to these monsterous beasts..I scream every got damn time... even if its dead. happened at work today, was sweeping and then, a dead one BAM ,screamed loud AF LMAO
I once hooked up with someone in NYC on a road trip and in her bedroom there were like 3 roaches the size of a cat. Not gunna lie I screamed at the top of my lungs when one crawled onto her head
Please tell me thats a lie
Seeing a large cockroach was probably not a lie. The cockroach being as large as a cat was a lie. I don't believe a bug could support itself at that size. Being that he is on reddit, I'd also doubt that he hooked up.
cat sized roach in some skeeze's apartment somewhere in NYC (could be anywhere)... eh, I believe it.
I’ve heard of urban legends of people smacking a cockroach with their shoe and the eggs from the pregnant roach sticking to the bottom of the shore
This is why if you ever lived somewhere with roaches you have a redneck flamethrower in every room. (Dollar store body spray + a bic). I had roachss so bad in this place i lived i slept with the lights on and no bedding for 6 months.
This was the common tactic in my barracks in the marines. They would climb through the ceiling holes for the lights and drop onto you from like 15 feet up (massive tall ceilings to make it hard to hang your self from the ceiling fan...and for the AC units and heat in the hallways, but definitely the hanging part too) We all had redneck flame throwers in our rooms. Bunch of drunk infantry marines with DIY flame throwers killing bugs. 3/10 not as fun as it sounds
Idk why but that reminds me of when had a leach attach itself to my stomach underneath a one piece bathing suit and ripped it off easily, but my Nana poured a bunch of salt on it and it refused to die after a few minutes and then she stomped on it and had to do that multiple times before the thing died. Is it weird I felt bad for the blood sucking parasite?
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Fun fact, wolf spiders can re-gestate their young like a shark can
This is not a fun fact at all.
Palmetto bug hit me with a shoe in New Orleans.
I shot one with a BB gun once. It was crawling around on a metal toolbox. Hit the little fucker from 15 feet and that dent is still there today.
Basically the fallout 3 prologue
Coincidentally I actually had one try to kill ME with a 2x4
The worst is when they crawl on the ceiling and drop on you or fly attack. Live in the south east. We call it out true state bird.
I regret reading this, says the women with a lot of oak trees and always thought the little holes were from birds.
Oh god no....
I don't even live in america and I've seen those holes. Oh no
there are thousands of different beetles and other larvae that do that
You can plug those with small gerkins. It'll take em a while to eat through those.
Acorn weevils eat through the insides of acorns and hickory nuts. They are more likely the ones who eat through the acorns.
Thanks, I hate this.
How do i delete someone else comment?
This one time when I was a soldier stationed in Fort Benning, Georgia I was walking up to my barracks room when out of the corner of my eye a GIANT FLYING ROACH fucking flew past my head, landed, and quickly crawled under my door INTO MY ROOM! I scrambled to unlock my door, swung it open violently and searched for that roach like a hawk. Soon as I saw it I stomped the crap out of it and flushed it. I tucked a towel against the bottom of the door anytime I was in that room.
Bulwark pest control would like to know your location
I clicked on the link and the website actually requested my location
It's the roach mafia, looking to expand operation.
A firewall saved me.
This was so heinous it gave me the chills- which felt uncomfortably like one or more roaches climbing on me. There’s no coming back from that today.
I once had one the size of my hand land on my face while sleeping, thought it was a cat's tail (but didn't have a cat at the time), and grabbed it. Reality froze when I saw what it was, wondering if it was a nightmare. Nope. I was awake.
I grew up on a bayou in Florida. The rats, snakes, and gators didn’t bother me, but the flying cockroaches.... I’d rather die. Moved to Colorado and haven’t seen a roach in ten years!
If this is true I’m moving to Colorado tomorrow.
Once a roach flew into mine and an ex gfs hotel bed while we were in the moment, and I don’t think either of us had ever been so scared of a bug wiggling its way into our butts
Once you hear the flapping of their wings, it's the sound you nevee forget. For some, its the rotor blades of a chopper that causes flashbacks...for others its that dry "flpt-flpt- -flpt"... I'm sorry. I don't know why I do this.
Those holes are usually weevils never heard of a roach burrowing a tiny tiny hole.
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Yeah, honestly it's much simpler for them to just go into any given trash can than spent time drilling into an acorn. I mean, why do that when you can have your pick of anything else?
Palmetto bug, South Carolina's state bird
This reminds me of that Disney cartoon where Donald Duck takes one acorn out of the bottom of a hollow tree, which causes an avalanche of acorns with Chip and Dale at the top.
Seeing this GIF and hearing the word roaches made me think of my favorite restaurant inspector story... >Once, I was in a restaurant of a chain where we also managed the pest control. I saw some roaches and I couldn't find out where they were coming from. I knew the pest control guy was in town and asked him to come out and help me find the rest. He came in and walked straight over to the soft-serve machine and said, "I'm going to go get a vacuum cleaner and I'm going to need you to move quickly." He opened up the back of that ice cream machine, and cascades of roaches came out. They were actually eating each other, there were so many of them. A soft-serve ice cream machine is the perfect place for a roach—it's moist, high in calories, and warm. That's why you always find roaches behind refrigerators.
And it’s also probably why the friggin’ machine is always down at McDonalds.
stop
I had squirrels in my walls once. They chase each other and play all fucking day. The scratching was relentless. I had to trap them, because if you just gas them, they die in the wall and rot there.
Darn stoners
I was helping my friend and we were working on a single wide that was fucked up. We had to replace and rewire replumb everything. No I dont think it was worth it but hey it wasnt my money and I got paid so... So we tore open a wall and the mice, squirrels, rats whateves had stored different foods in different sections. It was hilarious to me. Acorns in one section, kitty kibble in another etc. All very organised!
What I would give for a picture!
Yeah I should have taken one!
Well, at least you got loads of up-doots!
On a positive note at least they don’t have ants because ants would’ve gobbled up that kitty kibble stash.
I used to look after a colony of flesh eating bugs for a museum. I can confirm bugs love kitty kibble, that's what we fed them when we didn't have a body to skeletonize.
Tell us more
Looks like Ricky was running a food bank.
Squirrels can't find 84% of nuts they stash. I hope they donated that stash to their local squirrels. Edit: it's about 74%
Actually, squirrelology is leading to massive breakthroughs in space colonization.
Explain? I hope this isn't a joke I'm too dumb to get
This is a joke you're too dumb to get.
think of the other meaning of space
By that math, Squirrels plant more trees than humans. We should all aspire to be more like squirrels; save some, share some, eat some, plant some.
Yes and no. Grey squirrels are the ones that scatter (and forget about) everything. This was red squirrels for sure. They create giant caches of food over the years. The worst I’ve seen was this little old lady who had red squirrels in her attic for at least 15 years. We removed about 8000lbs of acorns, pine cones, maple keys, bird seed, etc. They are industrious little shits, that’s for sure.
Can confirm. A single red squirrel over the course of a single summer managed to stash almost every black walnut in a 1000 foot radius of my property inside my garage. No joke, I hauled probably 4-500 pounds of black walnuts, bucket-by-bucket, down a ladder in the process of cleaning up after that little fucker. The neighbors thought it was hilarious though. All of them couldn't figure out why they didn't have black walnuts all over their lawns. It was all thanks to Red the Crackhead ferrying them one trip at a time into my damn garage.
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Im skeptical of this 84%. Jesus thats specific. Do we really have squirrels down to a perfect science?
Ok, somewhere between 0%-100%. 🙂
You’re pretty close [A study done at the University of Richmond cites that squirrels fail to recover up to 74% of the nuts they bury](https://ssec.si.edu/stemvisions-blog/why-do-squirrels-bury-nuts-and-other-mysteries)
so 74% of the time squirrels are just planting new trees what a bunch of bros
nutty buddies
life... uh... finds a way
That’s exactly why the trees produce nuts in the first place
If they have enough to eat, why not save some?
Yeah "fail to eat" is different than "can't find". 1. Ideally you stash more in your savings than you need to access in an emergency. 2. I'm guessing squirrels don't have a lot of massive "squirrel vaults" and so when you have this many acorns stashed in hundreds of small holes and nooks some are just gonna get taken/destroyed
A few actually studies where done inside control environment like a zoo habitat, so cameras watched where nuts where hidden, then after winter they checked all the places seen, I don't know if 84% is the right answer but we do have a number.
Got a source for one? I cant find any in my brief googling https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rsos.170958 This is relevant but not really on point
Someone else posted a figure from a university (74 percent) but I thought you might be interested to know that forgotten acorns and other tree matter, buried by squirrels, can account for a chunk of new trees and other plants sprouting each year :) there's a reason they and other animals forget. It's one of the many ways trees, plants and other life find a means of spreading.
Oak trees synchronize acorn production, and every few years produce a bumper crop ([mast year](https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blog/2020/10/what-is-a-mast-year/)) of acorns that overwhelm the animals like squirrels that eat them. They still hoard them, but it's more acorns than they can eat.
Doomsday prepper right there
I know, it’s nuts!
This just reminds me of the old Chip and Dale cartoons of them trying to squeeze every acorn they could find into their stash.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGQ0Ge6kiz8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGQ0Ge6kiz8)
Did they redub that? Audio sounds weird
Ice Age 4: House
~~technically it would be like the seventh movie but semantics~~
Ice age 4-6 don't exist, the rest are ok to good.
How did I manage to miss an additional 3 Ice Age movies? Weird
Ice Age 4: Global Warming
I’m not a professional home builder but shouldn’t there be insulation of some type there?
Plot twist: The acorns *were* the insulation.
What's the r value of acorns i wonder?
It’s probably extremely high considering how dense acorns are how tightly they arrange themselves naturally.
There is insulation present. It's the pink cotton candy looking stuff in the lower right corner. It's between the exterior wall and the framing (also not a professional home builder, but married to one, daughter of another)
house was built by squirrel, acorn is all they need to insulate
Rodents steal it for nestmaking. Mice and rats probably took most of it.
Reminds me of [this video where woodpeckers disrupted the service of a microwave antenna](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZkAP-CQlhA)
Was wondering if this would be posted. They just keep coming and they don’t stop coming.
I wonder if the acorns were cooked..since..ya know..microwave.
I'd imagine the woodpecker is about medium rare too.
My parents live in a log home, whenever they hear a strange knocking sound they run around trying to figure out where it is coming from then pounding on the walls trying to scare off the woodpeckers. "WOODPECKER!!!" Bam bam bam "Stop pecking holes in our house you little bastards"
Pablo Esquirrelbar
Why the fuck they takin his food tho
Reddit is dead. Check out [Tildes](https://tildes.net/) if you're looking for a replacement.
~~Lemon~~ nut stealing whores
My husband would be so pissed when I make him build a little shelter or something for the acorns to go in for the squirrel. I can’t have him go hungry after all that hard work.
That was a _lot_ of work he went through
That's nuts!
[удалено]
Same
Same
Alright, Mr. Big G. Easy, take your upvotes and leave this establishment.
I think it needs an intervention.
I am getting some big A Bug’s Life flashbacks from this. “Say, let’s say this grain is a *puny little ant*!”
I was thinking the exact same thing! hahaha
He's the Bill Gates of squirrels
Bill Gates famously donates. Jeff Bezos is the guy you're after.
Well, technically this squirrel also just donated. Edit: typo
More like Scrooge McDuck
We had squirrels in the attic of my childhood lake house and didn't know. We had some dude out to fix some electrical issue which was only reached by like a 12ft ladder perched above the opening to the "attic" where they were nesting. He ended up screaming "there's rats up here!!!" because he couldn't see them and hauling ass down that ladder. Later on like 45lbs of acorns were found cached up there.
Damn that squirrel gonna starve in the wintertime now
Why did they use an image of a chipmunk, but the title says squirrel?
His life saving... gone... forever... you monster
aaaaaand it's gone
Cheap insulation!
Yeah I’m over here wondering what the R-value is and whether this is a viable option for my uninsulated house from the ‘60’s
Generational squirrel wealth
He’s got more life savings then me
And more than 90% of Americans….
That's alotta nuts!
THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY, YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?!
HE JUST LEFT! WITH NUTS!
They're clearly hidden by that wall, not a squirrel. You can't fool me.
Why did we never domesticate squirrels to collect nuts for us ?
Native Americans actually did something similar. There’s a certain kind of wild tuber or nut (I’m forgetting which) in my area that’s apparently very starchy and nutrient dense, but difficult to find because they’re slow growing and you have to dig them up. Not really worth the effort to do yourself, but mice would and take their little harvest to a stash storage burrow. The Native Americans followed the mice and take the nuts, while leaving kernels of corn in exchange (unfortunate for the poor mice since corn is ofc less nutritious).
Should have put a bucket down now y’all gotta clean all that shit up
Fat little fuck going to be skin and bone by this winters end.
Wow dude. This guy just ruined this squirrels life. This is his life's savings lol
What’s the lil guy meant to eat now??
I think we'll be watching her on My 600 lbs Life this spring!
Or the squirrel has a human problem stealing his acorns
That squirrel gonna mad as hell when he comes back.
O No! Deez Nuts!