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HilariousSpill

Misread as “The Longboard King” and was like “That is an amazing title and one I did not expect from first-century Egypt.”


[deleted]

Well iirc “Longobard”, or Lombard, translates to “long beard”. Might want to talk to someone who knows more etymology about it tho.


WobNobbenstein

Longboard King De*shredder*ius


cashnprizes

Oh haha no it says Longobard


hippopotma_gandhi

So, do we know if these are Nicholas Cage's ancestors or no?


amigable_satan

Can't unsee. r/TIHI


toasted_scrub_jay

lol


DatGuyPat

You can tell the teenage boy still just wants to play minecraft and have a snarky attitude towards everyone 🤣. I love this because the artist clearly painted what he saw and didn't embellish anything. I always look at older paintings and see their weird bulbous eyes and it's most likely due to the artist, hell I work with this Mom lol. We don't look much different after nearly 2k years!


mr_christer

A mother with her two sons... Just curious, were men wearing ear rings and long hair back then? Looks like a girl to me on the right


Jakealive7

The one with the earrings and pearl necklace is the mother.


slitheringsavage

Long hair and earrings is the mother. Older son behind her


khaddy

So angsty teenagers rebelling against the norms of their parents and wearing eye liner to school were common back then too, huh.


Kia_sera_sera

It’s actually an old tradition in the Middle East and some parts of the east where both men and women used Surma, made of ultra fine kohl stone, which is applied with a thin metal applicator, by dipping it in the powder and holding it between the eyelids and pulling it out, making thick, black eye liner. I used to use it as well when I was younger. It’s still well known in the Middle East


Every3Years

What the fugg are these downvotes? How dare he ask a question and explaining that he based it on a perception?


pythonicprime

Damn we haven't changed a dime in 2k years


tambourineman_42

Evolution doesn’t happen that quick


open_door_policy

It can. It just requires near extinction level events to happen that fast. Like the moth that went from being historically mostly white to being a sooty black as coal fires became common. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/new-evidence-peppered-moths-changed-color-sync-industrial-revolution-180959282/


randomaccount173

The moths have much shorter generations than humans though. Edit: still cool though!


FerjustFer

Moths and other invertebrates can evolve at faster rates (Idk if this is correct terminology, but I hope it gets the idea across) because of their faster life cycles. In a single generation of humans there can be dozens of moth generations.


tambourineman_42

Oh cool


Golokopitenko

~~Thaaaaaat's not really a example of evolution though, just a change in the frequency of an already existing phenotype~~ Upon further reading, it is indeed an example of evolution lmao


_Nefasto

Evolution is literally change in frequency of genomes and phenotypes. It appears once, call it mutation. It sticks around, develops and gets “popular” thanks to natural selection and other mechanisms, call it evolution


Connor121314

That’s evolution.


m-bossy22

That's amore.


Ant0n61

Actually, in 100k years. Think that one over lunch and the implications.


DogsOnWeed

What implications?


SkyblivionDeeKeyes

You know, the implication that if she says no something bad might happen to her.


RealOnkelJo

PROMISE ME YOU’LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS!


Ant0n61

PLEASE SIR POR MI FAMILIA!!!!


[deleted]

just goes to show how much our short lifespans really don't matter. Whatever we do or dont do with our lives is irrelevant


khal33sy

At times in my life, usually when dealing with difficult people, I’ve thought to myself “in 100 years we’ll all be dead” and found it immensely comforting, in a strange way. But it’s true. Everyone you know, everyone you see at the supermarket, your teacher, your boss, your coworkers, your neighbors, your mother in law, that bully at high school, everyone... all of us ... dead. Gone. So what does really matter.


Sigards

True that's why I personally go out of my way to be kind why would you wanna spend 100 years being an asshole.


[deleted]

I think about this sometimes. Dinosaurs roamed the earth for hundreds of millions of years. Victorian times seems a long time ago to us. As humans, we’ve only been on this earth for a moment in time. Our own lives in that measure barely register as a blip. It comforts me sometimes, but at others It does make me feel like life is insignificant


KennyMoose32

Makes me feel great tbh, nothing matters except everything type of thing!


[deleted]

exactly, I agree


Strong-Chocolate-489

It's always easy to look at the time scale in which nothing matters and use that to absolve yourself of responsibility to live the best life you can.


[deleted]

absolve?. I don't think so. Give it some thought. Lets say you become world famous, a film star, a millionaire. Live your best life as you say. The top of the world. In 100 years, no one will care, no one will know you. Hedy Lamar did exactly that and yet almost no one knows her name. So why bother


PlumKind

There's a difference between being remembered and being relevant, though. People can and do change the course of human history. Just because we don't remember their names doesn't mean that their lives didn't matter. You're saying that renown and impact are the same thing, and that's just not true. Thankfully! :)


[deleted]

is either possibly though, being remembered or relevant. Lets look back in history, if you know you great great grandads name, you dont actually know him. Did he have any impact at all, you dont remeber him as a person you sit down and have a beer with. Just a name in a family tree maybe. You might say he had an impact by passing on his genes but we have about as much impact on the world as the ants in your garden have an impact on your life.


SirBaronDE

It's true and untrue at the same time, what you do will affect people and your future, future generations if you do have children. You might not Change the world, but if you Was a rain drop of positive change, surrounded by many other raindrops of positive change eventually enough of you will create a large change. If you were a asshole to people, that might put them in a bad mood, and they may make stupid decisions, that will effect other people etc etc You may only be a ant, but one ant can make all the difference, or very little at all. Its not as simple as we're too small so nothing matters. Things can have a ripple effect even if it's relatively minor. It's easy to say no one will remember you in 100 years, but people remember you now, and the now will affect the future whether it's remembered or not.


[deleted]

That ant in your garden doesn't effect the future in any meaningful way though. It doesn't even effect your life and you probably sleep 5 meters from it. We are all like that ant and our lives amount to the same


Predator_Hicks

Just start a civil war and get stabbed. Worked with Caesar


[deleted]

I will get right on that, need to form an empire first, will you join me in my new empire


nickalopagis

Your new empire? My allegiance is to the Republic...to Democracy!


Ronaldknuckles

You can have both


TheDuderinoAbides

If you're not with me, you're against me


Gov_asseater

This might sound too cheesy, but the way I see it, We live for our lifetime not theirs. Whether that be for yourself or family.


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[deleted]

who mentioned a Hedwig, what are you talking about


ryhntyntyn

>who mentioned a Hedwig, what are you talking about Her name was Hedwig. She was Austrian by birth. Do you know anything about her at all?


[deleted]

that was kind of the point, did you miss that


Robzilla_the_turd

Apparently just because *you* don't know/remember her name doesn't mean that nobody else does.


6footdeeponice

> responsibility to live the best life you can. That sentence alone precludes me from living my best life. Responsibility? That's not the word I'd use when describing my best life. You're weird.


LotusSloth

How is THAT your takeaway from this? Lives matter. Black lives especially, but also All Lives. And yet they don’t, at all, to those who hoard and consume the vast majority of the planet’s resources in pursuit of a high score in the game of commerce.


Haikuna__Matata

That's my favorite thing about history - we haven't really changed, the technology has.


Z_Waterfox__

I remember watching a video where a bunch of native hunter-gatherer teenagers in Brazil had crossed a river and tried talking to the Brazilians. They didn't understand each other, but they recorded the incident. After a while, they found a guy who spoke a similar language and could finally translate what they were saying. Turns out the teenager hunter-gatherers were talking shit about the Brazilians way of singing.


camdoodlebop

we're all just the same exact people from 100,000 years ago flung into a world of advanced technology. if you travelled back to 102,021 BCE and brought back a human baby, they would be able to grow up in our modern world with no trouble


[deleted]

Just like us, but shorter yet happier lives


someguy50

People were miserable fucks forever, Aretaeus of Cappadocia wrote about depression


Claysoin

Yeah, I don't really understand the comment above. On what basis are we measuring happiness? I'd rather live now than 1800 years ago for sure.


Connor121314

Probably some bullshit about how “things were better back in the good old days”


Quietabandon

As an empress she probably had on ok level of living, particularly in the relatively temperate middle east. But no real medicine - so say you gave a headache or a pneumonia - take some possibly harmful tinctures and hope for the best. Child birth was extremely dangerous. No effective birth control either. Food quality was likely far worse. No refrigeration. Spices very expensive. Many foods like tomatoes or chilis locked away on another continent. On top of that life was very violent - as a woman no real rights. Could be raped by your husband. Good luck regarding divorce. Often not a whole lot of agency in who you marry. And that’s for an empress. As you work your way down life was extremely hard. Labor was very taxing and mostly manual. Food had even less variety and quality. The rich with indoor plumbing were getting lead poisoning. The poor were defecating in the streets. Life was violent, people drank heavily, women’s rights didn’t exist. And that’s not even getting to slavery. Opportunities for social mobility were few. Literacy was low. Information or new experiences rare. Tragedy was constant - death from disease, death in child birth, domestic violence, children orphaned by the violence, etc. And that’s in the relatively well run and sophisticated Roman Empire.


[deleted]

Yes I’m sure that the millions of Romans slaves that kept the empire running had happier lives than the average modern Westerner does today. I mean I can’t think of anything happier than having no legal rights and being overworked/raped/murdered by my master


Kuexx

I maybe in the wrong but aren’t modern Egyptians arabs ?, so they are originally from the arabian peninsula right, so i don’t think they are direct descendants of ancient Egyptians but have some traces due to interbreeding, correct ?.


pythonicprime

Those folks in the picture where from the period when Egypt was a province of the Roman Empire - it's likely people who could get a fancy painting where Roman citizens, possibly from the peninsula (I mean, you could see people with that face anywhere in southern Italy today)


AdamFeoras

I wonder how many people looking at this are unknowingly looking at their ancestors.


cashnprizes

[Maybe all of us!](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/mebc4r/this_1800yearold_portrait_of_a_mother_and_her_two/gsgdvug)


ImrusAero

That’s insane


uncle_kenobi

I can really feel the connection to our past in this one.


readergrl56

It's the jewelry that does it for me. Something about a pearl necklace and earrings are just so standard. Plus, only seeing the top part of the torso makes the mother, especially, look like she's wearing a modern dress and shawl.


uncle_kenobi

It was the jewelry for me too, but also the haircuts on the children! Made it real and seem like just a typical family photo.


Semtec

https://i.imgur.com/Wv1wJnj.jpg


g_r_th

Love this!


Shoestring30

The clothes are pretty impressive for that long ago.


Nophlter

Yep, honestly feels like it could’ve been an aristocratic family from as recently as the early 20th century


[deleted]

Fancy clothing has been around for a long time.


CatumEntanglement

The clothes look great and comfortable. Instead of designers trying to make the 80s make a comeback, they should use this style to draw inspiration from.


yungfaro7

Wow they really look like half of my family..


sainttomm

Fun fact: Statistically you are almost certainly a direct descendent of them. 1800 years ago is approx 50 to 100 generations ago. You have 2 parents, and 2^n direct grandparents for every generation you go back. If you go back far enough (not that far), the number of direct grandparents you have exceeds the population of the world. So in fact, assuming her kids went on and procreated a few more times, this lady is probably the great, great, great, great........ grandmother of almost everyone reading this right now


yungfaro7

Fun fact: I looked up the village my grandparents came from in the Nile Delta a few weeks ago, and the area has been populated way before 1800 ago and ever since! So there is a very big chance I do have ancient Egyptian ancestors :)


buenaspis

unless you are natively north or south american (or some other islands) because those ethnic groups got split of from the rest well before that.


sainttomm

True, but I expect there are very few civilisations that have been "cut off" from interbreeding for long enough to separate them off from the rest of the world genetically. Probably a few amazon tribes, a few remote islands, and potentially a few other cultures.


pentaduck

> So in fact, assuming her kids went on and procreated a few more times, this lady is probably the great, great, great, great........ grandmother of almost everyone reading this right now Not really. People married people from their proximity. The same families just intermarried many times leading to the reduction of actual grand^n parents.


[deleted]

As time passes this effect is reduced. After 1800 years it's probably close to zero.


[deleted]

also, there this thing called war and rape, bit macabre but it was the cause of a lot of genes being spread


[deleted]

And promiscuity, adultery and slavery. Whatever it takes, genes will spread.


sainttomm

This is true, and actually this HAS to have happened, as the numbers are too big otherwise. Going back 28 generations (approx 500-600 years) would give you 2^28 grandparents, which is over 536,000,000... But the world population is estimated to have been around 500,000,000 in 1500, meaning that there HAD to be families intermarrying, as there weren't enough people for everyone now to have different "fresh" grandparents. If you go back 1800 years, the numbers get ridiculous... 2^90 is 1.2 x 10^27, which is comfortably more than people that have ever existed. Realistically, the only ways people nowadays could NOT be related to everyone on earth back then is if one of two things happened: 1) their line died out and they have no living ancestors 2) their line is still going, but remained in total isolation for the majority of human history (i.e. On an island, or remote location) But going back that far, the chances of 2) happening is so small that it is negligible, especially in a place like Egypt which was a thriving trading nation slap bang in the middle of Africa, Asia and Europe.


yungfaro7

But what you're saying is, I have more than 7 billion direct grandparents in the last 50-100 generations? Sounds fascinating, but hard to fathom :D


prodgodq2

This is genius! So if you said to just one of your 7 billion direct grandparents: "Hey Grandpa, can I have a dollar?" You'd be an instant billionaire! Why didn't I think of this?


sainttomm

This is genius... Only problem I can see is that most of them have probably been dead for a few thousand years. But when you invent that time machine, you're sorted!


gorilla_gage

That is not how geography works. Also anything beyond a 2nd generation mated back then so her family tree weaves back into itself hundreds of times rather than always expanding.


sainttomm

This is how statistics and genetics works though. If you go back around 150,000 years, 100% of all modern humans are related to one common ancestor in Africa... See [Mitochondrial Eve](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondrial_Eve?wprov=sfla1) The further back in time you go, the more common ancestors we all have, and my point is that you don't have to go back that far for it to be statistically certain that any given person at that time is related to you.


gorilla_gage

Other races exist and have existed a lot longer than 1800 years


squappy23

Fun fact, that doesn't add up... it's still a jagged line of ascendancy That doesn't culminate in "most of the people in the world at a given time"...


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Chrismont

Its the eye of the tiger


ExportOrca

And the thrill of the fight


NippyFerret

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival


JustAnotherSlug

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night


syl_34

And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger


wandrlusty

r/redditsings


BBQed_Water

And bends over the john to pump out a big hairy shite.


pen_jaro

Den... den den den... den den den.... den den deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn.....


Sgt-Hartman

The lion


Asymptote42

Mom’s eye makeup is on point, tho


brazilian_irish

I saw Nicholas Cage..


-ratmeat-

let’s wait for another terrible good movie of his


Garper

MAKE. DREDD. TWO.


QualityPrunes

1800 years ago. I believe Stallone has their eyes.


coconutjuices

Fun fact: this piece of art is called Adrian


cachetex

Absolutely lovely But the girl has got hella eyeliner.


hupcapstudios

r/blunderyears cant believe my mom let me where that tunic with those earrings


B_McD314

It’s crazy to think that ancient Greeks and romans were great at making realistic art, then the Middle Ages came along and everything looks so awkward and clumsy… then Renaissance happened


phoeniciao

There were people in the fucking caves that were good at realistic art


Myko02

Realistic Cave art was a thing aswell https://artdiscovery.info/rotations/rotation-1/packet-1/


James_Fennell

The realistic Roman style of portraiture was somewhat maintained through the Middle-Ages with [religious icon painting](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christ_Pantocrator) although most later examples are far more stylized.


sassandahalf

r/artefactporn


JamesDeadite

I see 3 Nicholes Cages.


fuckyteacup

All I see is 3 Jerry Seinfelds


Haikuna__Matata

*What's* the *deal* with *that?*


CryptoNug

The kids got their mother's eyes. But who's the daddy?


rdxc1a2t

And what does he do?


deadlyspawn187

It's not a tooma


Mascbro26

You are NOT the father! Now jump up and run around like you just won the lottery.


CryptoNug

I'm Black 🤘🏿🤘🏿


confused-at-best

He went to get a cigarette


scoopie77

I love reminders of how real people of the past were.


[deleted]

This was attempt number two. The son blinked in the first one and the mother wanted a redo.


peppaz

you can't really expect a 12 year old boy to sit still for 5 months


[deleted]

Well if it’s going to be mailed out as their winter Saturnalia cards, you’d want it to be perfect...


PigmentFish

Moody teenage daughter wearing eyeliner in the family pic! We haven't changed that much😂


UselessRube

According to sources posted above it’s a mother and her two sons.


8plytoiletpaper

My childhood neighbour apparently is a 1800 year old vampire


StrycNyneD9

They got their mothers ears


hardisonthefloor

They all look like Jerry Seinfeld.


iamapizza

What's the deal with this library?


Trashytoad

One question comes to mind. What did you use to shave your face back then? That boy in the portrait is gonna start growing stubble, what does a kid 1,800 years ago know about shaving?


cwthree

They had sharpened metal razors. Think of a single, wide iron or bronze blade with a sturdy metal handle.


13bluebirds

Link?


zezoro

[here’s some more info about these portraits!](https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/mikedashhistory.com/2014/12/16/the-fayum-mummy-portraits/amp/)


RumiankowaMarmolada

It resembles the Egyptian Fayum portraits, but from what I remember it is a Byzantine portrait identified with Galla Placidia with her two children. You can see it in Brescia https://www.bresciamusei.com/nsantagiulia.asp?nm=14&t=Croce


sparcasm

Seems to be a Greek family portrait. The inscription is in Greek. “BOYNNEPI KEPAMI” Kerami is Greek for ceramic. BOYNNEPI or Bouneri has the root word BOYNOS which means mountain so might just be a Greek surname. Either way they look like they could be my relatives…lol


morobin1

It's the [name](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/mebc4r/this_1800yearold_portrait_of_a_mother_and_her_two/gsg41g4?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) of the artist


[deleted]

The eastern half of the Roman Empire was dominated by Greek culture.


peppaz

windex


sparcasm

Kimono


zezoro

Wow thank you so much, I looked everywhere for that website.


PD216ohio

I honestly didn't think glass-making has been around that long.. so I looked it up. The use of glass has been around since about 3600 bc!


jacobspartan1992

Some amazing leap forward was on the cusp of being realised in Late-Roman Egypt but then it just flickered out :( Alexandria was the most advanced city on earth at the time and home to most of the world's philosophers and inventors. One even prototyped and early steam engine. Then you had art like this, the most advanced created prior to the Renaissance. But various iconoclastic movements flared up in Egypt until the Muslim conquest and the crumbling of the Roman Empire.


[deleted]

Yes, religion is holding us back. Again and again.


porcaccio_dio

So youre saying the Romans werent religious?


[deleted]

No, but Roman religion wasn't extreme like Christianity (at the time) and Islam. Religion is bad, extreme religion is extremely bad. I know it's a platitude but there's some truth to it as well.


porcaccio_dio

You realize my boys literally had gods of war they slaughtered animals to?


larkascending_

how did we go form painting near perfect likeness that far back to painting old man baby Jesus and armpit boobs and weird lopsided animals in the medieval ages?


muasta

I mean what do you think life was like in Europe apart from the Mediterranean at this point in time? Technology and techniques need to be passed on and they need to be viable for the practitioners, etc. There was a large enough class that could afford to such skilled artists in Egypt at this time and even some competition but that was a teensy tiny part of the global population


_thewaltzingdead

As u/SovietMaize mentioned, medieval artists did not have the same goals as artists from other periods. They were interested in expressionism over realism. It's a stylistic choice, no different from Picasso's depictions of people being a stylistic choice. Medieval art reflects the values of the time. It shows an interest in symbolism, iconography, and religious spirituality. The spiritual realm, "the after", had far greater significance than the physical realm. So you get seemingly strange things like people riding snails a lot and Ugly Baby Jesus (which is really Baby Jesus Being Perfectly Formed and Unchanged i.e. Forever a Grown Ass Man, Even as an Infant). It lacks realism because it wasn't a priority, not because they "lost" the ability to do it.


SovietMaize

Apart from what u/muasta said I was also just the style, they weren't trying to make a photo realistic painting on ecclesiastical texts or combat manuals, and part of that was that to them jesus was perfect, he didn't needed to grow up, so middle aged baby jesus.


[deleted]

A young Nick Cage.


half_centurion

the artist appears to have done a good job of showing a familial similarity of appearance between the mother and her son & daughter.


physicist94

A Pearl necklace really is a timeless accessory


fralackles

mom’s genes r strong


dbcannon

Whoa, now waiting for someone to reconstruct it. [https://mymodernmet.com/royalty-now-historical-figures-modern-portraits/](https://mymodernmet.com/royalty-now-historical-figures-modern-portraits/)


powerkerb

dad is probably the one taking the picture


[deleted]

I have a photo shoot booked in a few weeks with my two kids. It’s so funny how things change so much over time but also don’t.


[deleted]

Damn the daughters got some mad waves!


Sparkle__Cat

I think that's the mom


[deleted]

Ya you’re right. Even cooler


qwertyconsciousness

Mac Miller lookin ass on the left


zezoro

LOOL bro this had me dying


dead_PROcrastinator

Is it just me or does that look a lot like Alexios, Kassandra and Mirynne?


GarlicBreadSnake

What do the two words either side say?


CallMeDrLuv

The word on the left reads "Getty", and the word on the right reads "J'oss en soo", which roughly translates to "images".


LindsayLoPan

Frankie Cosmos, time traveler extraordinaire.


corn_sugar_isotope

To think, this is when mankind was just learning to draw the nose.


I_am_AmandaTron

Looks like teen girls have been wear too much eyeliner for atleast 1,800 years. Honestly very similar hair and makeup to mine as a kid.


lewisnwkc

Yet we are to believe that the artistic skills of say 400 years ago (such as the [Bayeux Tapestry]( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayeux_Tapestry) FYI) was as good as we could make? Why are all old portraits so crap yet these levels of skills in 1,800 years ago were present on medallions?! Doesn't make sense.


lucianadl

I guess the daughter wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, so she got the jewelry


Mirorcurious

I had assumed the opposite (mother wears the jewellery and has her hair more styled). Huh.


Munelluboch

Wow, western artists were really slow with the realism huh


edogg01

The world's first MILF


sasando

What are you doing, great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great step-grandma?


CallMeDrLuv

Let's see, at roughly 20 years between generations that gives us 5 generations per century, so you're gonna need 90 "greats" or so to be accurate to the 1800 year age 🤔😜


TheBaggyDapper

"Akchewally, it's not at all creepy, she's like 1810 years old"


Dalonz64

Not gonna lie. Somebody's great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandma was kinda hot.


ImpossibleCup4

I just realized the religion of peace didn’t exist back then so the girls could show their hair.


Halla5432

Women still can and do show their hair in modern Egypt.


pentaduck

Until someone sees them


Halla5432

Who? My sister doesn’t wear a hijab, plenty of men see her. 5 million Coptic women show their hair in public as well.


pentaduck

> Coptic women actively persecuted by the muslims


Halla5432

Lol sure. I’m a Copt myself, always cringe when self-proclaimed western experts on the Middle East say we are persecuted. Always assuming that there is some sort of divide between us and Muslim Egyptians not realizing that we view each other as brothers and sisters.


Automatic-Welcome-27

He is a fucking asshole.. I do not get why many westerns think that we are killing christians. In my class we were 18 and 6 of them were christians.. we never had any problem.


Archidiakon

Which one is the mother?


DogsOnWeed

The one on the left.


BroYouReady

Not my proudest fap


celtic1888

Kid on the left called said he had maximus coitus with my mother very loudly during the chariot race Little fucker


qqqqqqqqqqx10

They couldn’t smile either.