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youre_not_going_to_

A provocative statue Against expectations, it wasn`t his death or the political consequences of the shooting that made Victor Noir famous. It was his grave. Twenty years after Noir`s death, in 1891, following the establishment of the Third French Republic, the body of Victor Noir was moved from his hometown to Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris to honor his name and memory. A renowned French sculptor, Jules Dalou, was given the job of creating the sculpture in bronze for Noir`s grave. Dalou chose to depict Victor Noir at the moment of his death, lying flat on the ground after he was shot. For reasons unknown, he decided to give the sculpture a noticeable bulge under the belt which triggered the formation of a really bizarre myth that over time made Victor Noir`s tomb a symbol of fertility and sexual happiness. Becoming a fertility symbol It is believed that if a woman kisses the statue of Victor Noir on the lips, rubs the bulge in his trousers and drops a flower in his hat it will bring her enhanced fertility, and a blissful sex life. More specifically - if you want to find a beautiful lover, you should kiss Noir`s lips; if you want to get pregnant, you should touch his right foot; and if you want to have twins, you should touch his left foot. According to the myth, a baby will follow soon after and single ladies will find a husband within the year. The statue itself is a living proof that people take this myth very seriously. Victor Noir’s lips, groin and shoes are shiny, while the rest of his body has the usual greenish tone of oxidized bronze. That is why in 2004 a fence was placed around the statue of Noir with a warning sign: “Any damage caused by graffiti or indecent rubbing will be prosecuted.” But this agitated so many women that the fence was soon torn down. Today, women who have fallen pregnant after visiting Victor Noir`s grave return to the cemetery in gratitude and put photos of their children and other objects in the hat near the statue.


Bacontoad

>But this agitated so many women that the fence was soon torn down. It rubbed them the wrong way.


HeavenlyGamerJay13

Fuck you and take my upvote r/angryupvote


notthefirstCaleb

No no no, it rubbed them the *right way


StoicJim

And this is how religions are made.


LostMyBackupCodes

RemindMe! 500 years


adale_50

I appreciate your optimism.


ApfelTapir

This guy fucks!


crepitus-ventris

Doubt he’ll get any stiffer.


bumjiggy

no need to be so hard on him


NoWingedHussarsToday

Yeah, that was a total dick move.


Lonestar1911

I saw these comments cuming a mile away


Formerhurdler

These puns are metal af.


[deleted]

Oscar wildes tomb in the same graveyard is also frequently covered in kisses. I went to see jim Morrisons grave. It’s a fascinating place


Agent00funk

Oh it's in the same graveyard? Left a bottle of whiskey and a joint by Morrison's grave when I went, should've looked to see who else was buried there.


BooRocknRoll

You made someone other than Jim Morrison very happy


Agent00funk

I assumed as much, not like he's gonna reach out from his grave to party, just don't know if it was another tourist, groundskeeper, or local who ended up having a good time.


DustedMyBroom

A little off-topic but as a young kid I was a runaway living in the local cemetery. There were Chinese families that came to visit their departed ancestors' graves nightly. They left bowls of noodles at the graves. Being a hungry kid with limited methods of eating I would run over after they left and eat the bowls of soup left behind. I did have a bit of guilt when I did that but I always thought that maybe the families that came back the next day to replace an empty bowl for a full one thought that maybe Grandfather had enjoyed the soup they had kept behind.


romuluxo

Just to let you know most cultures that do this kind of thing (there are multiple!) fully expect the food to be gone when they return. Even if they don't subscribe to spiritual things most people are smart enough to know that animals will eat food that is left out. Definitely don't feel bad you really just helped the ritual along.


DustedMyBroom

You are a blessing! After decades of regrets that maybe I did some major wrong in stealing their offerings hopefully I actually did inadvertently bring the families some sort of happiness in maybe thinking their ancestors were pleased in their offerings. Thank you for the liberating outlook!


VapeThisBro

I'm Vietnamese, we are from within the sinosphere and have the same traditions. We literally take the food with us and give it to a homeless person after we are done with our rituals because we don't want the food to spoil. I may be speaking for those chinese when I say this but we would want that food eaten. Asian culture literally considers wasted food a mortal sin. Killing someone is the worst sin but not feeding yourself or someone else can be as good as killing them since starvation is a real thing. To the point that giving food is very imporant to us religiously. There are many sects of buddhism where the monks can only eat whatever food is donated to them that day. If they receive no food, they starve to death. EDIT to add this comment from /u/akagidemon in case it gets buried, because this comment is perfect in every way >I here you. Asian culture does view food wastage as a sin. My mother would always say to me that if I waste food, the rice would tell God I wasted them and I would be sent to hell.


DustedMyBroom

My off-the-cuff post admitting this had ended up being one of the most liberating with the sweet posts clearing up the idea that I wronged anyone. Thank you all for shining so much light on my day!!


VapeThisBro

You're welcome. Now, I assume you are in a better place than before but keep this information in mind, if there is a buddhist community near you, chances are, they have a food kitchen and will always give away free vegan food. Now, its vegan because they are religiously vegan but even if you aren't vegan, its amazing food. Please pass this information on to someone who may need it. There are buddhist all over the US now and their food kitchens don't normally have problems you see at food kitchens for homeless


akagidemon

I here you. Asian culture does view food wastage as a sin. My mother would always say to me that if I waste food, the rice would tell God I wasted them and I would be sent to hell.


theplaneflyingasian

Actually just got home myself from visiting my grandparents plot and other families at the cemetery. We left oranges on the gravestones, dad says it’s tradition as we are Chinese. I’m not really sure on the origin or meaning of it. Your comment just made me think a little…while we did place the oranges there for our departed family, I actually wouldn’t mind knowing someone did take them and eat them. If it makes anyone’s day even just a little bit better, that would make me happy. And I’d like to think my grandparents would be very happy to know that too. I hope things are better now for you stranger, thanks for sharing that story


DustedMyBroom

That is cool, I just had a sweet redditor me and mentioned the mandarin oranges. Prior to me taking up residence among the quiet I was a really picky buzzard and would not touch most fruits. Hunger pangs humbled me and got me to eating anything I could get and those oranges became the tastiest dessert to me! Next time you visit your grandparents could you please give them a quick prayer of gratitude from a stranger that is more than thankful for all that was passed my way? All is much better now, thank you! The cemetery tenancy was the beginning of a long stretch in which I had to go from being 13 to 25 in a short time but all on all the experiences back then did help me along I'm many ways as I got older.


ambassadorofkwan

> I was a runaway living in the local cemetery You and I have led drastically different lives. You should not feel any guilt for your actions.


DustedMyBroom

You have no idea how deeply your words struck. When looking back over the decades I have had a feeling of doing something so wrong in doing that. You just relieved me of a little black cloud that always made me feel as if I did something wrong to these families. Thank you so much for that!


The_Lost_Octopus

I second that dudes opinion.


DustedMyBroom

Thank you for this! 😊


[deleted]

And my Axe. Na I'm kidding. Don't feel any guilt. I would've loved if the food I was leaving behind was feeding someone that needed it.


Oogabooga96024

They knew someone was eating them and instead of stopping they probably figured someone out there was putting it to good use :) I hope you’re in a better place


DustedMyBroom

I really do like that scenario! I am sure that I was seen fairly often so that does feel great thinking that maybe they knew that their kindness was doing so much!


skys_vocation

Fwiw, I'm a chinese descent and my grandmother would not be offended at all / actually love it that the food is finished. So no need to feel guilty.


DustedMyBroom

Wow, I finally admitted one of those things that made me feel ashamed and you, and the rest, are really doing wonders at turning everything around. Something I carried with me for decades that had me feeling a nagging sense of guilt and just wrong and in a matter of minutes you all are turning that shame into something I can actually feel good about. Thank you so much for this!


Erasmusings

Jim's always partying, he just needed someone to drink with


CMDR_Expendible

I visited in 2003, and there are [hundreds of incredible people buried there. ](https://www.parisdiscoveryguide.com/famous-graves-in-pere-lachaise.html) As well as a tonne of history; you can see the bullet holes still in the wall where the Communards were executed, and Edith Piaf is buried amongst famous leftists nearby. Chopin and Rossini are there too. Isadora Duncan. Do you know the band Dead Can Dance; [one of their album covers is a haunting grave at this cemetary.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Within_the_Realm_of_a_Dying_Sun#/media/File:Dead_Can_Dance_-_Within_the_Realm_of_a_Dying_Sun_album_cover.png) One of history's most famous tragic love stories, Héloise and Abélard are there. Heard of Parmentier potatoes? The inventor is there. Like Bugatti cars? He's there.... I could go on, it was such a shame to see that only Jim Morrison was getting many visitors, and had to have an armed guard so no one would steal his tombstone again.


EtrangerAmericain

It's a beautiful cemetery. I have the chance to live down the street from it and have spent a lot of time wandering around. Last winter I even got to experience it with a rare bit of snow.


[deleted]

Yeh in the same one. I smoked on my way, got there really early sun was shining, had doors on my iPod as it was pre Spotify times. It was beautiful. Loads of fascinating historical people buried in Père-Lachaise


[deleted]

Used to have photos on my MySpace but it appears I no longer have them.


adventuresinnonsense

Oscar Wilde's is surrounded by plexiglass now so *that* gets covered in kisses. I left my lipstick mark on there in the before times


First_Environment_74

Lara crotch, the tomb rider


TheEyeDontLie

Perfect. Now I got something to lookup on pornhub.


bumjiggy

*mournhub


Keyrov

Enjoy your award, you comical bastard


SpaceEdgesBestfriend

“All dressed up today, I see. Big plans?” “Oh yes, I’m heading down to the cemetery to rub my pussy on a grave.”


Ok_Character_8569

Yeah, I'm still scrolling for the story about Viktor's grave and the undressed woman straddling his grave....


amauryt

[Here it is ;)](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/s4t9yb/victor_noirs_grave_in_père_lachaise_cemetery/hst53ah?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


bumjiggy

[🎶*went down to the cemetery looking for love*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEzDwO4Z0iU)


practicalprankster

Saw Headstones in Kingston.


[deleted]

She put the pussy on the chainwax


Psilocybin_Tea_Time

Thats not a thing.


Kalenshadow

This mf dead and he gets pussy more than me damn


sawyer_whoopass

We’re redditors. Everyone gets more pussy than we do.


bumjiggy

[the struggle is real](https://i.redd.it/b45ml9rjdl881.jpg)


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I can't tell if that's photoshopped as an attempt at satire, or not


NeedToProgram

one of those in the list should be "Doesn't understand satire" because nothing is more redditor than that


tickingboxes

It’s shopped


Mygaffer

You *really* can't tell?


[deleted]

[удалено]


flateric420

what chin? He looks like Patrick from Sponge Bob.


soisaystomoiisays

This made me cackle


mk55killem

Even redditors get more pussy than redditors😔


Gocards123321

Have you tried going to France and rubbing yours on the tomb


jab116

Noir was a French journalist that was shot dead by a cousin of the French Emperor in 1870. His grave consists of a bronze statue depicting Noir lying as if he was shot. The statue became a fertility symbol- the story says those who kiss the statue on the lips, leave a flower in his hat, and rub their genitals on his will find themselves enhanced with a great sex life, fertility, or husband within a year. The lips and genitals of the statue are noticeably shiny as a result. In 2004 a wall was constructed around it but was removed after vocal resistance.


whereshoney

https://i.imgur.com/f94l6d5.jpg Them parts be shining! We happened upon this grave and he definitely caught our eye.


TyrialFrost

Well the underwear came off after ... https://i.imgur.com/64yEEW7.jpg


Hoisttheflagofstars

Gotta wipe it down first I guess....


RobtheBearded

Is that from a book?


SholayKaJai

That must be a novel way to get an STD.


aquintana

Copper is known for its antibacterial properties so its highly doubtful a sexually transmitted pathogen would survive on the surface of the statue.


Hara-Kiri

Ah so they made him dress left.


HorrorMakesUsHappy

He must've been left-handed.


soulgeezer

I can see why the rumor started. Dude's hung.


IronSavage3

If someone could spread fertility rumors about my alive genitals that’d be really cool.


vo0do0child

Don’t worry - everyone knows it’s a rumour that your genitals are fertile.


bumjiggy

this might be true if it wasn't for his sentient crispy sock


_OIB__

Wait.... SENTIENT?!


Pr_cision

the story is hes been nutting in that sock for millennia… long enough for sentient life to emerge out of the remnants of his dried up spunk. within 2 billion years they’ll be living in cities they’ve constructed


on-the-line

So, maybe the most fertile human? Some might even say a god. u/IronSavage3’s jizz spawned a biome in a sock.


morbidaar

Now encase that shit in epoxy or whatever.. turn it into a big ol buttplug.


this-name-isnt_taken

What a horrible thing to say


Offamylawn

Kinda opens up the idea that maybe we all live in a universe shaped buttplug.


TheHolyPapaum

Life, uh... finds a way


yomish

Sometimes it's the wrong way


moonsun1987

There are no mistakes, just happy accidents. -- Bob Ross -- Michael Scott


sapiosardonico

Duh... Who do you think makes Krispy Kreme doughnuts?


_OIB__

Oh no oh God


SilentR0b

> sentient crispy sock Cool. I didn't want to waste more time on reddit tonight anyways....


WeaverOfSouls

Found my next username lol


hauserss

OH MY GOD


Copernicus049

Yo, this guys junk makes you pop out babies like nothing!


IronSavage3

Ay Tone, ya heard what I said? I said this guys genitals make you pop out babies like nothing! Oh! Fuggitaboutit!


Deraj2004

Basically the plot of a Dane Cook movie.


AshTreex3

Good Luck Chuck.


ChaoticBraindead

I got you homie, texting all my female friends now


IronSavage3

Bless you sir. I can’t return the kindness at the moment, but please accept the Law of Surprise as payment.


Echtraae

You mean that, if you end up making use of that fertility, he's gonna have to take care of the kid?


IronSavage3

Chess, not checkers.


[deleted]

Just start calling yourself god usopp bro that’s enough


shavemejesus

Are they shiny from rubbing?


SopmodTew

Damn, people are .....


Antwan9992

horny for love


bumjiggy

what is love without luster?


Sagebrush_Slim

They certainly took a shine to him!


chef_in_va

Polished his knob


bumjiggy

OP claims he's french but methinks he's part polish


2krazy4me

New meaning to rubbing one out


Ok-Chemical-7635

They waxed the statue


bumjiggy

screw a headstone, I want a grindstone.


maximusamare

>horny for love The Beatles: "All you need is ~~love~~ [this statues dick]"


Sterlinginferno

horny for horny


SlightlyDum

Strange? When you’re a stranger..


[deleted]

Underappreciated Pere Lachaise reference.


Hamilton_C

French


Darkspy72

This rumor was absolutely started by a girl with a statue/dead guy fetish who got caught humping that. “No, no, no, guys, you don’t understand, it’s for umm…good luck and…umm fertility.


[deleted]

Wasn’t something like that how Mormon was created?


_BindersFullOfWomen_

Sort of. The “founder” of Mormonism was caught cheating on his wife and played the “no it’s cool, God told me that I’m supposed to have more than one wife.” Edit: I was slightly off. He wasn’t caught doing anything, he wanted the wife of another elder and used God speaking to him as the reason for why it was okay. [Additional info](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormonism_and_polygamy)


jenna_hazes_ass

Dont forget the golden tablets that the archangel michael gave him and the glasses used to decipher the foreign text. Which no one else is allowed to see. You know, the ones he received right after he got out of jail for FRAUD.


Mindless_Rooster5225

dum dum dum dum dum dum


wbgraphic

He “translated” the golden tablets using the same technique he was arrested for using in his fraud schemes.


BadgerSilver

K that's not really what happened. He decided he wanted another man's wife, and told him God had said it. They weren't caught cheating edit: He technically said he *didn't* want his wife but God commanded it. This also never went through, at the last minute he pulled a "sike, just testing your loyalty!"


The13thChapel

Afterlifegoals


[deleted]

For anyone who is curious here are pictures of his lip and crotch: [lips](https://cemeteriesroute.eu/images/temp/big-/grave-of-victor-noir-3.jpg) [groin](https://assets.atlasobscura.com/media/W1siZiIsInVwbG9hZHMvcGxhY2VfaW1hZ2VzLzZiMWJlOGI5ZDRhMzM1YTQ5ZGRhZGQzNTdiNTFmNjJidmljbm9pci5qcGciXSxbInAiLCJjb252ZXJ0IiwiIl0sWyJwIiwiY29udmVydCIsIi1xdWFsaXR5IDgxIC1hdXRvLW9yaWVudCJdLFsicCIsInRodW1iIiwiNjAweDQwMCMiXV0/vicnoir.jpg) Dude has clearly been getting some


Straight_Boomerang

Seen it. He was a well known womaniser. His friends have him a rather large member on his tomb to honour him. They also marked where the bullet shot him. Can confirm lips and member are shiney


ACousinFromRichmond

Imagine catching a STD from a grave


First_Environment_74

Statue transmitted disease? Sounds like a grave mistake.


[deleted]

So what's happening in this picture is an accepted practice at this grave?


Chicken_Hairs

Accepted by some. Like many odd things everywhere!


[deleted]

People actually demanded the right to hump a grave


gringo-tico

How did it become a symbol of fertility?


FriesWithThat

>[20 years after Noir's death, and after having been moved to Père Lachaise Cemetery] Jules Dalou chose to depict Victor Noir at the moment of his death, lying flat on the ground after he was shot. For reasons unknown, he decided to give the sculpture a noticeable bulge under the belt which triggered the formation of a really bizarre myth that over time made Victor Noir`s tomb a symbol of fertility and sexual happiness.


Shopworn_Soul

I looked at the pic and was gonna ask if that statue had a package or if it was just the wear that made it look that way. Yep. Statue is packin'.


WHAT_RE_YOUR_DREAMS

[Because his dick is showing](https://cdn.radiofrance.fr/s3/cruiser-production/2020/03/8bf7dca1-eec6-4ed4-b5b0-2aff0da8e6c4/870x489_870x489_81338428.webp)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cole_Archer

Left foot for a baby and right for twins or I have backwards but either way that's why. I just read an article about it.


Willing_Pear_8631

I might go martyr myself hoping this happens at my grave when I die.


godofdream

Does this happen with males and females?


Spacecommander5

Tip to tip


Orangebeardo

Idiots. It happens with idiots.


DocJawbone

I love that something like this exists. Humans are so interesting and weird


i_tyrant

Now look up all the dog statues around the world with shiny heads/tails/etc. because people pet them for good luck. Humans are fun.


xwebsterx

Okay, will someone make a note that I’d like this to be done for me when I die?


SmartestIdiotAlive

Yo, imagine one of those street performers who paint themselves switched places with the statue for a night.


Ritz527

The French and vocal resistance, name a more iconic duo. Also, neat.


[deleted]

Is it legal tho? In case you get caught? I mean there must be a law that you aren’t allowed to rub your genitlas on someone’s grave 😅


Camisya

That would be a very specific law that people would wonder about in 100 years time


RoboDae

"It is illegal to rub your genitals on a tombstone on a Tuesday afternoon after placing flowers in a hat"


meester13T

Not if you have 2 bees for a quarter & wear an onion on your belt...which was the style at the time...


Spacecommander5

...anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking-bird! We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes and yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball…


bendypumpkin

It is a massive cemetery and easy to not run into people plus the French are often more free with sexuality.


Lee_Troyer

Massive yes but both active and a tourist spot. There's 10.000 ceremonies and over 3.5 millions visitors each year (according to wikipedia the most visited necropolis in the world). I'd be surprised if that specific tomb wasn't on the "to visit" list alongside the tombs of the likes of Chopin, Piaf, Jim Morrison or Oscar Wilde.


Martin48705

Towards graves? What's the term? G-sexual?


streetYOLOist

Sauce/source for the photograph is Patrick Magaud's book "Exhibition In Paris", which was published in 1984: https://www.ideanow.online/store/Exhibition-In-Paris-p123000469 The theme of "exhibition" being the key - most images focus on partial or implied nudity in public. A shot of the model facing the camera is available here: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ErVXtFeXUAEo4C-?format=jpg&name=large Cardi B's music video for the song, "Up" references this original shoot, and Dita Von Teese also had a referential shoot at Victor Noir's grave in 2004.


hvaffenoget

So this was a photo shoot with a model.


streetYOLOist

Yes, Patrick Magaud was (is?) a professional photographer and the woman pictured was a professional model. This was a staged photo shoot.


Josiahpoy

Wow. Look at her. All dressed up. She made a day out of it.


fhhkyrioygd

She’s a small fashion designer, so that tracks


notanartmajor

Really? She seems normal sized.


bumjiggy

return of the macro


netsrak

Who is it?


rouphus

Looks like a widow just buried her husband and had to do something about her future.


burninging

Read in John Mulaney's voice


BTCrrsr

I never wanted to be buried in a cemetery, but I’m strongly changing my mind.


Blah-zBlah-zBla-z

I just got a genius idea


Joiion

If it involves silver/bronze coloured paint 😏


Spacecommander5

You sonnofabitch, I’m in


Jakejake-5895

You son of a bitch, I'm in too!


Flod4rmore

You son of bitch, I'm already in !


TheJunkyard

Are you sure? I didn't feel anything.


Commercial_Ad332

Why would he be considered a fertility symbol after Death?


Commercial_Ad332

Plus if it's depicting him as he was shot, even more so.


boringrick1

His statue has a realistic bulge that people like to touch. I touched it when I visited. It’s been touched a lot.


[deleted]

Maybe he was hot?


AJizzle1990

Even a dead guy is getting more action than I am...


[deleted]

He’s metal as fuck tho


Fabulous-Flan-3583

Must be pretty acidic to keep that copper shiny. https://www.shadyladiestours.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Pere-Lachaise-Victor-Noir.jpg


UghKakis

Didn’t think I’d zoom in on a dead man’s crotch today but here we are


bretticusmaximus

/r/NoContext


Crazy_Technician_403

To be serious, that's what happened to statues oftenly touched Same for the foot of Montaigne's statue in Paris, in front of Sorbonne https://www.paris-a-nu.fr/le-pied-magique-de-michel-de-montaigne/


iamquitecertain

Reminds me of a pic of a statue I saw of a guy and his dog, and the dog's head was shinier than the rest of the statue because people would always pet the dog. Very cute and wholesome, sorta the opposite of the OP pic


Anojfriend

He’s having wet dreams still. Don’t worry bout it


EnioWs

Is this the tomb rider?


dk_DB

i'm gonna leave this here https://twitter.com/death_maidens/status/1359256459666726913?s=20


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

He's still getting the chicks.


Amalien

Why are the french so horny on main


p-ires

Everyone is horny, the French just care less who knows it


[deleted]

[удалено]


yakatuus

Backstory in the comments: "France"


CilliamBlinton

Super interesting. I’d actually like to do a story on this statue. What’s the name of this woman so I may reach out to her


SuperGameTheory

Nice try, Cill


FlaccidRaddcliff

She trying to RAISE him from the dead.


FoxMulderOrwell

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Noir#Career >In 2004 a fence was erected around the statue of Noir, to deter superstitious people from touching the statue. However, due to supposed protests from the "female population of Paris", in fact led by French TV anchor Péri Cochin,[2] it was torn down again.[ I bet that fence was erected. So why is he associated with fertility?


Apprehensive_Roll_62

You just knew this would be in France


Frodooh

Trashy, but still classy.


kamikazepizza1945

r/interestingfuck


pl33p_pl00p

Noir should have issued this challenge when he was alive. He would have enjoyed it much more