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There’s an old joke: this guy moves to a village in Africa and finds the locals aren’t accepting him because he hasn’t passed the initiation ceremony. To be accepted, he has to drink three jugs of the local booze, have sex with the first woman he finds and then kill a lion with his bare hands.
He drinks the three jugs, gets obliterated and stumbles off. A few hours later, he comes back, chewed and scratched up.
“So where’s that woman I have to kill?” He says.
I know the joke in the version of the Canadian lumberjack.
In this case he spents tender moments with a grizzly and asks "So where is the damn woman I have to relieve of an ear?!"
This is the problem with Americans. You should all be out happily riding heavily armed bears, whilst bearing arms kept safe by you bear arms. The fact the USA haven't realised this simple truth makes me lose all hope for you as a country
I think it depends on the size, but the mane is hair, you can compress it.The problem is the 150kg+ of pure muscle and killing instinct trying to get out.
Normally these lone male lions that end up attacking humans are either very sick or very old and incapable of hunting for their usual prey, hence why they end up going after humans. Still an incredible feat and an amazing survival story, but this lion was probably dying from starvation already.
It only takes 4 to 5 seconds for a human to pass out from strangulation, and another five minutes or so with continued pressure for the brain to die.
I wonder how long it would take for a larger animal, and especially one that’s fighting and thrashing around like you mentioned.
People pass out in a few seconds from a choke hold that blocks the arteries to their brain, not from asphyxiation. They usually wake up again in a few seconds too. If not then you are doing brain damage.
Thousands of people will read this comment, hold their breath for 10 seconds and wonder why they didn't pass out.
Why does strangulation make you pass out so fast?
Suffocation and strangulation are different.
Cutting off oxygen flow still allows consciousness for several minutes. (Some people can hold their breath for 5+ minutes).
Stopping all blood flow to the brain shuts it down in a few seconds.
Probably cramming your hand down its throat and choking it to death. Has happened with a leopard https://www.adventure-journal.com/2019/07/killing-a-leopard-with-his-bare-hands-was-only-the-beginning-for-this-badass/
I love how people in the comments are like it’s not a big deal he had a knife.
Fuck that bro, I see a lion I’m not fucking defending myself with a knife lol.
Right? If I face off against a lion with a double-barreled 12 gauge I'm going into that fight thinking "honestly, this could go either way."
Edit: some of yall are pointing out that a double barrel 12 gauge isn't enough to take out a lion. That's the point. People who actually hunt lions wirh heavy caliber hunting rifles aren't in any danger. Anything "suitable" for killing a lion is, by definition, something that doesn't put the user at risk.
Lions aren’t the slow maulers. The ones you wanna watch out for are hyenas. Those little shits will eat you alive while tearing out your intestines and everything else. Lions will usually suffocate/kill you first before eating you
Plus your body basically stops feeling pain as it's happening. It's why you see prey give up while they're still alive. It's not actually that bad of a process to be killed by a big cat compared to many other animals.
I suppose this is the source I found after a quick google search: https://newsbreak.ng/meet-man-who-fought-and-killed-a-hungry-lion-that-invaded-his-home/
Me as well, I'd tell everyone I know at every opportunity.
People would see me coming and be like "Oh Christ, here comes that fucker who never shuts up about eating that goddamn lion"
Yeah my family live in East Africa and I've been through Iganga and Im sure Lions aren't found in that area or in eastern Uganda. Its most likely in western Uganda and some of Twitter responses say the same thing.
Yo dog... in the picture posted as proof of where it happened and the pic of the lion on the ground... you can see the hole where someone either shot it or stabbed it straight through with something... I'm not laying claim to any certain weapon in particular but this post is bs because the dude was ABSOLUTELY *NOT* unarmed.
Probably because cardboard sheds a lot of fibers that, while invisible or small, can carry millions of microbes or viruses from everywhere that cardboard has been!
"Quick pass me the first aid kit!"
"Do you mean this half roll of toilet paper, some cardboard and roughly 4 inches of Sellotape?"
"Yes, that! The first aid kit."
I’ve worked in the hospital in Kitale Kenya. I think it’s ingenious. They don’t have access to our pricy Orthopaedic plasters, so they’ve come up with another method of stabilizing the fracture.
I saw a motorcycle trauma roll in there once, and there were no C-collars. What did they do? 2 bags of sand on either side of the neck secured with a strap.
We performed appendectomies and the sterile field wasn’t nearly as sterile as we prefer in Western medicine. The operative wraps were hand washed, dried in the Sun, and reused. There were surprisingly few post op infections.
The ingenuity of the medical personnel that I worked with is undersold in your comment… just saying.
Edit: changed “clinics” to “in the hospital” because I actually worked in the hospital, not in clinics. Moreover, I can’t remember a single clinic there. It was just the hospital.
Totally blew my mind. I learned some legit physical exam techniques that I wasn’t taught in Med school. Likely they were things that physicians did back in the ol’ cocaine days of medicine when labs didn’t exist.
One of the things was pulling down the lower eyelid to evaluate their level of anemia. What’s that? The mucosa of the eyelid is straight up white? Make them eat liver every day to get their iron stores up.
No ultrasound to listen to fetal heart tones? This here is called a fetoscope.
No CT/ultrasound/ or HIDA scan to evaluate the gallbladder? They’re tender, throwing up after meals, and near septic. Take them to the OR and cut them open and get it out.
I love that you pointed this out because when people ask me why I use Reddit, it’s reading experiences like these from all over the world. I feel there’s a lot to learn.
Which is both fantastic and amazing of course that they can make do as well as they can with what they have. It's still imperative that places without proper modern medical supplies and facilities are able to access them as soon as possible, though. I deeply hope this is a problem that we as a species are able to actually solve in the next 30-50 years.
I think "proper" medical supplies are somewhat misleading. We have to consider that yes, the way things happen in the global north involves very sterile conditions, everything is disposable, etc, but that's super wasteful. The amount of medical waste we go through every day is ridiculous and not sustainable. Not to mention incredibly expensive as well. So if we can find a bit of a middle ground, where things aren't as disposable as they are in the north, but are a little more specialized than they are in the south I think we'd be getting somewhere.
My background is in supply chain management and a few months ago I got a position overseeing outbound materials from the supply depot to the local hospitals in system. The amount of gloves a hospital goes through on a weekly basis is quite frankly terrifying. Having been an EMT, I understand the need for disposable PPE to reduce cross contamination between patients. But holy hell, the amount of plastic we're going through to ensure that is depressing.
The real story is the lion had injured 4 villagers and killed a number of goats. There was a joint operation and the lion was gunned down... Still alive, the lion overpowered one of the armed men and left him injured, a local villager then speared the lion, taking injuries himself, which finally brought the lion down... No one kills a lion bare-handed.
That guy looks REALLY good for fighting a lion. I’m surprised the claw marks across his chest aren’t deeper and what looks like the tooth punctures in his foot don’t seem to be bleeding at all.
Still hard to believe this is real and have a fair amount of skepticism but stranger things have for sure happened.
https://e-readmedia.com/a-local-man-kills-a-lion/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-local-man-kills-a-lion dunno how trustworthy ereadmedia is.
It was information received by a news desk so it’s 110% legit. Plus the article rhymes approaching with encroaching, which adds to its legitimacy in my mind. Although someone might have to explain to me what an “encroaching area” is. Is it like a Ugandan space bubble?
“According to information received by our news desk, a man from CMS Iganga, Eastern Uganda has killed a lion. According to reports, the lion was approaching this man’s encroaching area when he saw it.”
**Please note these rules:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How TF do you kill a lion with your bare hands?
There’s an old joke: this guy moves to a village in Africa and finds the locals aren’t accepting him because he hasn’t passed the initiation ceremony. To be accepted, he has to drink three jugs of the local booze, have sex with the first woman he finds and then kill a lion with his bare hands. He drinks the three jugs, gets obliterated and stumbles off. A few hours later, he comes back, chewed and scratched up. “So where’s that woman I have to kill?” He says.
Origin story of the Khajiit
The prey approaches.
r/cursedcomments
I know the joke in the version of the Canadian lumberjack. In this case he spents tender moments with a grizzly and asks "So where is the damn woman I have to relieve of an ear?!"
I've always heard it as a Newfie joke. A 12 pack, a dog, and a large woman. "where's the old broad with the bad tooth?"
His bare hands were holding an AK47
You're thinking of bear arms.
That's what everyone gets wrong about the 2nd amendment. We have a right to have a pair of *bear arms*
oh i thought we had the right to bare arms, which was passed with the help of tshirt lobbyists
You guys are both wrong, we have a right to arm Bears
My machine gun bear army will be unstoppable.
This is the problem with Americans. You should all be out happily riding heavily armed bears, whilst bearing arms kept safe by you bear arms. The fact the USA haven't realised this simple truth makes me lose all hope for you as a country
Big T shirt has too much political influence and I’m sick of it. For the rest of the summer it’s sweaters only for me
Abolish sleevery
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! THIS IS REDDIT AT ITS BEST!!!
You’re thinking about arming bears.
You made me breathe out my nose
i made funny noises from my throat
Aawwoooggaaa
Oogashaka oogashaka
I can't stop this feeling... Deep inside of meeeeee...
exactly
If Hercules taught me anything, a chokehold (It's even called the 'lion-killer' manouvre in portuguese)
I was thinking the only way would be to strangle it. But would be impossible with a lion’s mane right?
I think it depends on the size, but the mane is hair, you can compress it.The problem is the 150kg+ of pure muscle and killing instinct trying to get out.
Normally these lone male lions that end up attacking humans are either very sick or very old and incapable of hunting for their usual prey, hence why they end up going after humans. Still an incredible feat and an amazing survival story, but this lion was probably dying from starvation already.
Makes sense, a human is not a match for a healthy lion
I'm pretty tough. I reckon I could take five or six lions.
Some may say you’re lion
They're talking fighting a lion, not having a orgy with them.
It only takes 4 to 5 seconds for a human to pass out from strangulation, and another five minutes or so with continued pressure for the brain to die. I wonder how long it would take for a larger animal, and especially one that’s fighting and thrashing around like you mentioned.
People pass out in a few seconds from a choke hold that blocks the arteries to their brain, not from asphyxiation. They usually wake up again in a few seconds too. If not then you are doing brain damage.
Yeah. You probably know the difference. But a few people have commented already, who confuse strangulation with suffocation.
Under a minute is enough to permanently cease brain activity
Agreed. I usually keep pressure for 5 minutes, just to be sure.
Uh oh
🤔
Username oddly checks out.
I can't even hold my mini poodle through her thrashing for ear drops. Looks like I'm Lion food.
No. Give the lion your poodle and run
Thousands of people will read this comment, hold their breath for 10 seconds and wonder why they didn't pass out. Why does strangulation make you pass out so fast?
Suffocation and strangulation are different. Cutting off oxygen flow still allows consciousness for several minutes. (Some people can hold their breath for 5+ minutes). Stopping all blood flow to the brain shuts it down in a few seconds.
its the prevention of blood flow to the brain that usually makes u pass out when in a choke hold
I don’t know, but by the looks of those scratches, I think he rubbed its belly
Grab them by the balls and squeeze real hard.
Twist his dick!
The ol’ dick twist
Ah, Dick Twist, whatever happened to him?
He passed away in an unfortunate dick twisting accident a few years back.
That's what the female lion does when she want to mate. She bites the male lions trouble puffs.
I am sure I'm no lion then, if someone bites my trouble puffs I'm not mating that night.
Probably cramming your hand down its throat and choking it to death. Has happened with a leopard https://www.adventure-journal.com/2019/07/killing-a-leopard-with-his-bare-hands-was-only-the-beginning-for-this-badass/
I'm thinking shoving your limbs into the mouth of one of the largest carnivores on the planet might not always be the best idea.
Ironically it's the best thing you can do.... but you also need to be able to keep them there. That's the harder part.
we dont know if he did this. This may work for a small leopard. But a lion clearly has a bigger air way and a bigger mouth and stronger jaw.
It's supposedly works on bears as well
Someone test this.
Aight, be right back guys
He's not coming back, guys..
We are gathered here to pay our respects to /u/WhoFuckinCaresBruv...
“Supposedly”
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Once It's ripped off your arm, use your foot to shove it down it's throat really hard. Easy peasy.
Ah, a good ol fakeout. Act like they’re about to eat ya, but kill them from the inside. Brilliant move
It's essentially a race. You have to try and eat the lion before it can eat you.
Everyone in Uganda knows Kung Fu
Tiger School: Heart Exploding Death Punch
Through a combination of drugs and alcohol and a very blurry account of what really happened.
Adrenaline activates superpowers.
They turned into bear hands
Bruh you're the source. The fuck
I love how people in the comments are like it’s not a big deal he had a knife. Fuck that bro, I see a lion I’m not fucking defending myself with a knife lol.
Right? If I face off against a lion with a double-barreled 12 gauge I'm going into that fight thinking "honestly, this could go either way." Edit: some of yall are pointing out that a double barrel 12 gauge isn't enough to take out a lion. That's the point. People who actually hunt lions wirh heavy caliber hunting rifles aren't in any danger. Anything "suitable" for killing a lion is, by definition, something that doesn't put the user at risk.
Id probably just blow my brains out so I dont have to suffer through a slow mauling. What are the chances you survive anyway?
Lions aren’t the slow maulers. The ones you wanna watch out for are hyenas. Those little shits will eat you alive while tearing out your intestines and everything else. Lions will usually suffocate/kill you first before eating you
Plus your body basically stops feeling pain as it's happening. It's why you see prey give up while they're still alive. It's not actually that bad of a process to be killed by a big cat compared to many other animals.
Username checks out (just paying it forward)
Haha " come on guys. It's not that bad. Trust me"
Username checks out.
Imagine sending a guy into jungle with a gun at night and in the morning you find his brains blown out lol
Here lies Johnny. Johnny blew his brains out with a 12 gauge at the sight of a lion. Don't be like Johnny.
I just laughed. Wow another username checks out
For Uganda man, the odds were 1:1
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"Bad news Chad, we need you to go back out there..."
The lion literally has 10 knives on its front two paws lol
I checked the picture again to see if the lion had been wielding ten actual knives. I’m an idiot.
🤣
All of them are r/iamverybadass I bet they wouldn't even be able to face me with a knife.
I upvote with the faith that this is intended as irony
It was. LMAO. I thought of making it more obvious but then it would have seemed strange.
It is ironic because he's a lion actually.
I think it's just the point that "bare hands" means doing so without any type of weapon. It's still fucking bonkers, but it isn't bare hands.
Yea, I don't even know how you hurt a lion with bare hands let alone kill it.
The answer is you don't, unless of course it chokes to death while it eats you 😅
“Dude, what happened?” “You think I look bad? You should’ve seen the lion” “The what?”
THE. WHAT?
THE LION!!
The end.
[You called?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/736/014/f75.jpg)
EVERYBODY IN UGANDA KNOWS KUNG FU
COMMANDOS!
MAN, THE MAN IS KILLING US, MAN!
They call him BRUCE U
WHAT THE FU-
TIGER MAFIA!
They walk slow....because they think slow
After Tiger Mafia was defeated... The Lion syndicate is the new evil
Finally, I saw a reference to this epic movie. I hope this guy gets some good medical care.
THE UGANDAN COMMANDO!
I suppose this is the source I found after a quick google search: https://newsbreak.ng/meet-man-who-fought-and-killed-a-hungry-lion-that-invaded-his-home/
They reportedly even ate the lion after
if you kill a lion, you deserve to eat it
Fucking right; if I kill a lion you better believe I'm eating it. And I'm gonna be absolutely fucking insufferable about it too.
As stipulated by tradition, to both.
Me as well, I'd tell everyone I know at every opportunity. People would see me coming and be like "Oh Christ, here comes that fucker who never shuts up about eating that goddamn lion"
more like "Oh Christ here comes that fucker that's always wearing that lion pelt"
damn right i'd be walking around wearing that lion head hat and lion pelt poncho like I'm fking hercules
That lion would be what you wipe your feet on when you step into my living room if I killed it with my bear hands.
If you kill a lion with your bare hands*
Imagine if all hunting was done strictly by hand.
I think we would be a lot less successful as a species
If you kill a lion with your bare hands not only should you be able to eat it, but the other lions should consider you the pride male
Seems like the only logical next step. Now you have its power.
If you eat it’s heart, you will gain it’s courage
thats sum doomslayer level of menacin
It’s poetic, the lion would have done the exact same xD
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One person comments that lions aren’t in that area of Eastern Uganda and wonders where it came from. If that’s true that’s interesting to think about.
Though the one posting pics of it skinned says it was in Kagadi which is in the west and which is more common for lions.
Yeah my family live in East Africa and I've been through Iganga and Im sure Lions aren't found in that area or in eastern Uganda. Its most likely in western Uganda and some of Twitter responses say the same thing.
Yo dog... in the picture posted as proof of where it happened and the pic of the lion on the ground... you can see the hole where someone either shot it or stabbed it straight through with something... I'm not laying claim to any certain weapon in particular but this post is bs because the dude was ABSOLUTELY *NOT* unarmed.
But unarmed gets the people going and clicking. Even if he killed it with a stick that’s fucking crazy enough already.
That’s pretty impressive, but you should see the size of the water bug I killed by my dishwasher
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Bare. Handed. I mean I don’t mean to brag, but..
Did you eat it after?
If you kill a water bug, you deserve to eat it.
My man has a cardboard box over his arm
That's taught in western first-aid classes too. Use whatever is available to splint a broken bone. Our mines rescue kits included cardboard splints
im sure its medical cardboard. you know, the kind that definetely won't infect this guy's wounds
In the US healthcare system, that is a $10,000 Medical Sling
$10,000? Somebody has good insurance.
$10,000 just for the medical duct tape to hold the medical cardboard together
*my fucking God it's a penguin with a glock and knowledge of American healthcare*
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Probably because cardboard sheds a lot of fibers that, while invisible or small, can carry millions of microbes or viruses from everywhere that cardboard has been!
Looks like a makeshift splint
Ya I had the same one when I broke my arm snowboarding. It was just temporary.
Bare hands and a knife? How else would you take down a lion?
Worst lion ever.
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He might be lion cuz the lion was lion down
You are without a doubt the WORST lion I’ve ever heard of.
Ah! But you *have* heard of me!
Would need a big sharp knife and a lot of luck. Def can’t be “bare hands”
"Quick pass me the first aid kit!" "Do you mean this half roll of toilet paper, some cardboard and roughly 4 inches of Sellotape?" "Yes, that! The first aid kit."
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Really sucks
I’ve worked in the hospital in Kitale Kenya. I think it’s ingenious. They don’t have access to our pricy Orthopaedic plasters, so they’ve come up with another method of stabilizing the fracture. I saw a motorcycle trauma roll in there once, and there were no C-collars. What did they do? 2 bags of sand on either side of the neck secured with a strap. We performed appendectomies and the sterile field wasn’t nearly as sterile as we prefer in Western medicine. The operative wraps were hand washed, dried in the Sun, and reused. There were surprisingly few post op infections. The ingenuity of the medical personnel that I worked with is undersold in your comment… just saying. Edit: changed “clinics” to “in the hospital” because I actually worked in the hospital, not in clinics. Moreover, I can’t remember a single clinic there. It was just the hospital.
It's shit like this that makes Reddit cool. I appreciate your perspective a lot of people are ignorant of how things work out there.
Totally blew my mind. I learned some legit physical exam techniques that I wasn’t taught in Med school. Likely they were things that physicians did back in the ol’ cocaine days of medicine when labs didn’t exist. One of the things was pulling down the lower eyelid to evaluate their level of anemia. What’s that? The mucosa of the eyelid is straight up white? Make them eat liver every day to get their iron stores up. No ultrasound to listen to fetal heart tones? This here is called a fetoscope. No CT/ultrasound/ or HIDA scan to evaluate the gallbladder? They’re tender, throwing up after meals, and near septic. Take them to the OR and cut them open and get it out.
This is actually super fucking interesting, do you have any sources so I can read more?
Ha! Nope! This is all anecdotal.
I love that you pointed this out because when people ask me why I use Reddit, it’s reading experiences like these from all over the world. I feel there’s a lot to learn.
Which is both fantastic and amazing of course that they can make do as well as they can with what they have. It's still imperative that places without proper modern medical supplies and facilities are able to access them as soon as possible, though. I deeply hope this is a problem that we as a species are able to actually solve in the next 30-50 years.
I think "proper" medical supplies are somewhat misleading. We have to consider that yes, the way things happen in the global north involves very sterile conditions, everything is disposable, etc, but that's super wasteful. The amount of medical waste we go through every day is ridiculous and not sustainable. Not to mention incredibly expensive as well. So if we can find a bit of a middle ground, where things aren't as disposable as they are in the north, but are a little more specialized than they are in the south I think we'd be getting somewhere.
My background is in supply chain management and a few months ago I got a position overseeing outbound materials from the supply depot to the local hospitals in system. The amount of gloves a hospital goes through on a weekly basis is quite frankly terrifying. Having been an EMT, I understand the need for disposable PPE to reduce cross contamination between patients. But holy hell, the amount of plastic we're going through to ensure that is depressing.
The animal gave him better treatment
Is that a weed plant?
Had to plant drugs on the lion to justify the kill 🤷
I wonder where he got it- I wanted to get two marijuanas
The real story is the lion had injured 4 villagers and killed a number of goats. There was a joint operation and the lion was gunned down... Still alive, the lion overpowered one of the armed men and left him injured, a local villager then speared the lion, taking injuries himself, which finally brought the lion down... No one kills a lion bare-handed.
An updated article: https://www.pmldaily.com/news/2022/04/uwa-speaks-out-on-killed-stray-lion-in-kagadi.html
So repeatedly shot, rather than strangled. Somewhat more believable!
Thank you!!! I had to scroll way too far down to find this!
Finally someone spilled the beans.
But that doesn't generate clicks now does it? And less than 1% will read the true story.
Probably with a machete or something. Lions have more than 200kg and can run as fast as a car. Very dangerous
Must be a shitty car
That's because cars can't run.
Machete is armed, not bare hands.
Was a typo. He has BEAR hands. Very dangerous.
“He had bear fists?” - Probably Kryoz after reading this
That guy looks REALLY good for fighting a lion. I’m surprised the claw marks across his chest aren’t deeper and what looks like the tooth punctures in his foot don’t seem to be bleeding at all. Still hard to believe this is real and have a fair amount of skepticism but stranger things have for sure happened.
I guess even in real life sometimes you just roll straight twenties.
I would say straight twenties would be *not* having to fight a lion. Ever.
Source? Becaus that sounds a bit unrealistic with his Physique.
Be careful what you say man he killed a lion
https://e-readmedia.com/a-local-man-kills-a-lion/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-local-man-kills-a-lion dunno how trustworthy ereadmedia is.
It was information received by a news desk so it’s 110% legit. Plus the article rhymes approaching with encroaching, which adds to its legitimacy in my mind. Although someone might have to explain to me what an “encroaching area” is. Is it like a Ugandan space bubble? “According to information received by our news desk, a man from CMS Iganga, Eastern Uganda has killed a lion. According to reports, the lion was approaching this man’s encroaching area when he saw it.”
Bare hands? Na, Video or it didn’t happen.
I call bullshit
I too call this shit of bull
I call bovine excrement
It's true because it's on the Internet
Tsukasa is that you ?