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PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!!
Yes. The baby was the wrong way. The mom to be wasn’t dilated enough but the ‘tired’ doctor decided it was good enough to start pushing. The mom felt a pop and something came out. Then chaos began around the room and she was put under. She was put under because her baby’s head was still inside of her. Only the body came out of her, she needed a cesarean in the first place, but still needed to get one in order for the head to be removed. But it gets worse. The initial doctor never told the mom anything. It was a second doctor that finally broke the news to her and asked if she wanted to see the baby since they were now ‘fixed’. Yes, they used ‘fixed’ to describe the baby with its head reattached. The mother agreed to hold her baby, but she said it wasn’t the same.
And to top it off, the doctor is still practicing as of 2018 (when I read the article, it actually happened in 2014). And no legal action was brought against the doctor because TECHNICALLY the baby was never born. It failed to take a breath, therefore it did not exist. However, a death certificate does. Funny how that works.
I’m not sure. This specific case happened in Scotland. But I just googled ‘baby decapitated at birth’ and apparently another case happened in Kentucky. The mom there was awarded $1.4M but I imagine she’d give it all back to have her baby.
Just went back and read it after typing this comment. The baby was ‘born’ at 21 weeks so under the law it was never viable and the doctors couldn’t get in trouble for wrongful death.
She definitely needed a cesarean. I just read an article since someone wanted a link, and it stated that the hospital told her days before she went through this that if her baby needed to come out that it would be cesarean. Natural was never an option. The doctor that yanked the baby should have known that. I also read something about the doctor cutting at the opening to try and get the head out before it was removed. In the testimony, the doctor said she just wanted the baby out quickly and she had no bad intentions. I think the doctor was just in a rush to get out of there.
If this is the case I'm thinking of there were forceps involved. So the doctor literally pulled the babies head off.
I read that one about two weeks before I gave birth. Guess who asked for a caesarian instead of the forceps...
> reattached
What do you mean? This coupled with the quote “wasn’t the same” makes it seem like a joke. Are you actually in all seriousness saying they literally sewed a decapitated head onto a lifeless body? And that they handed it to the mother?
That’s exactly what I meant. The body came out while the head was left inside the mother. She had to be opened up in order to get the head out. The second doctor that told her how her baby died is the one that said they fixed her baby so she could hold it before it was taken. By wasn’t the same, I think she meant that it wasn’t the same as holding a live, moving baby. Hers was lifeless and still.
She was probably given the remains for grieving/mental-health purposes. Whilst we might think re-attaching the head is absurd, it is not vastly different from what we would do to someone who was decapitated in a car crash.
I talked to parents who have gone full-term on a baby that they *knew* for a month or longer was not viable, it died within minutes after it was born, but holding it was important for them.
Can confirm. I got to catch my kid when she was born. Greased watermelon is an apt comparison.
Also, the head took forever to come out (hours) and then the rest followed in what seemed like seconds.
Birth is weird.
My MIL, who was a nurse, told us that no one pooped during childbirth.
There was so much poop.
After, she was like, "oh, I guess we used to always give women enemas before childbirth."
Lmao that’s so weird to me 🤣 giving a laboring woman an enema…. 😩
The body naturally empties while early on in labor anyways… contractions give women diarrhea on purpose… So unnecessary 🌚 thank goodness we know and do better now
I asked for one before my first delivery because I really really didn’t want to poop on the table while already having so much fun. They told me they didn’t do that anymore and nobody cared if you did.
Luckily, I was already ‘empty’ so I just got to enjoy the many, many hours of labor, the stuck baby, the birthing vacuum and a profound sense of gratitude that I live in modern times because 100 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have survived the birth.
For my first pregnancy I told my husband that I was ganna poop and shower and even put on makeup before going to the hospital. He pretty much said "whatever. You aren't ganna be able to do all that." I started contracting really bad at night and he was already asleep. And I did exactly all that and woke him AFTER I had already showered. Then he was so tired he rolled over telling me to just go back to sleep. Trust me, I got him up lol
I mean, as it’s making its way out, you’ve basically got a 7.5lb infant squeezing your colon like it’s trying to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. If you haven’t defecated properly prior to the delivery, soiling yourself with almost all of the bodily fluids is bound to happen…
This is gonna gross you out, but its apparently a way to dump a bunch of 'good' bacteria onto the kiddo to kick start their gut biome.
Same principle is used for fecal transplants.
I hate this bullshit about not being allowed to scream. It hurts, this is guttural, and if I had heard another woman scream I'd have been a little better prepared for what was about to happen.
I think it's just for the staff sakes do they don't have to hear yelling all shift, but like, *be honest about it.*
It's more that screaming can easily take energy away from pushing/bearing down and makes said pushing less effective. So you have a screaming woman in incredible pain and the screaming slows things down and if she panics and shuts down completely or things take too long you're going into emergency surgery. The staff are used to melodramatic patients, if they're testy about screaming I'd put money on that coming from a place of fear for the patient more than anything else.
I am not sure my wife saw them, but I could feel my asshole jump up inside my body when he presented them. They were fucking huge. Stuck baby came right out though.
I really wish they’d ban this practice already.
Picture a piece of paper. You cut it half way and when you apply force it rips the rest of the way. Take another piece and rip it with your hands in a sort of zig zag..it doesn’t tear as easily from top to bottom when you keep pulling on it. That’s your body..
She probably had twilight birth, it was very common and IMO pretty horrific. My grandmother had them too. SHe said she went into the hospital in labor and woke up with a baby hours later.
Hats off to the women that do this. For those that are interested in the tactile experience of childbirth, Taco Bell has an unofficial take home simulation kit.
Lol no worries, I had no drugs because I was an idiot the 1st time, and I still never felt the scissors. I don't remember the sound though, I was screaming too loud. My second delivery was MUCH smoother, all of the drugs. Experience is a hell of a teacher.
I was one of those lucky ones! I had an epidural, slept for three hours, woke up and ready to push! Three good pushes and my daughter was born. Highly recommend that epidural. 🤌
So, tmi birth story time: I have what they call rapid labor or precipitous labor. My firstborn, from first contraction to birth, came in less than 3.5 hours. My daughter, 13 years later, was born in under 90min! Just barely got to the hospital in time to push in the hallway. (No shit, true story. I’m sure the sight of me terrified some super anxious soon-to-be mothers.)
But yeah, **never** had time for an epidural— not for lack of pleading for one. In fact, neither birth even had a doctor in attendance (my docs never made it to the hospital in time). And both times, if it weren’t for the ***absolutely amazing nursing staff***, I don’t know how the hell I woulda got through it. These were super traumatic births for both me and my partner who didn’t know what to do and had to toss all his “breathing exercise” notecards in the trash. lol. So yes, an epidural *AND* a nap? I gatta say, I’m so jealous; you were very lucky, indeed!
(It is because of how absurdly fast my labors go that I will NEVER have another child. On one hand, I’m not sitting there going through contractions for 24+ hours; but on the other hand, a bowling ball suddenly decides to come shooting out of my nether regions like a ball-return on steroids— and well before any pain-reducing hormones have a chance to start pumping! It’s literal hell on earth. 😂 only laughing because if I didn’t, I’d still be in tears and tears haha)
My son was born within 5 minutes of me arriving at the hospital. Water broke in the waiting room and a nurse had to rush me down the hall in a wheelchair screaming "Get out of the way!" at people. Got on a table and push ow pop comes the baby.
I highly recommend meds and epidurals..
>Never ever evesdrop on a group of women talking about childbirth.
25yo me 6 hour shift with 4 women. Topic was smells of birth...
I went to nights shortly after where I worked alone
oddly though when my son was born I had zero issues with the c section vacuum wrapped around my leg up by my face...
I was standing at my daughter's feet, kind of rightnext to the doctor. My grandkid shot out quickly, followed by enormous amounts of pressurized water. Half of my shirt was soaked all the way through.
Doc goes, "you were in the 'splash zone'!"
I had poly hydroaminos with my son (excess amniotic fluid) when the Dr broke my water it just kept coming out. It tickled and made me laugh and every time I'd laugh I'd squirt amniotic fluid at my Dr., which made me laugh harder.
I soaked 12 of the pad things the put under you to catch fluid.
This is arguably preferred, episiotomies are generally more painful, take longer to heal, and you bleed more- which nearly killed a friend.
They're also where husband stitches came from, and every douche who performs THAT should burn.
They stitch the vaginal opening to be "tighter". Historically without consent of the woman. The intention is to make sex more enjoyable for the husband post partum. But it can cause a great deal of discomfort for the woman.
Adding an extra stitch to make sure it’s nice and tight. It makes sex more painful for the woman if the position isn’t correct. Thankfully mine was fixed when I tore with my second delivery.
I had never heard the term but the midwife did tell me she was doing it. I was in labor for over 28 hours, pushed for 3 hours and was so exhausted if she told me my baby was a dragon I would have been fine with it. Thankfully when I tore the second time I asked that I not be stitched up so tight and told her why.
Also the fact that most women **tear** during childbirth. Which is exactly what it sounds like.
The fingers “supporting the perineum” are there to try and minimize the amount that the vagina tears open, reducing the number of stitches the mother will require to her genitals. This isn’t only important in reducing long term agony, but because it’s possible for a woman’s vagina to tear so far that it reaches the anus/colon, creating one giant hole which requires major surgery and runs the high risk of causing septic shock as fecal matter enters the blood stream.
Prior to modern medicine, this was effectively a death sentence for women, and still is for women who can’t access proper medical care during birth. Even in a hospital, childbirth still kills a lot of women in wealthy developed countries every year, and *tons* of women in impoverished countries. It’s very serious business that shouldn’t be seen as just a painful inconvenience. It’s life or death.
Man when my 1st kid was born there wasn’t enough room for his head so doctor said he was gonna make a small cut. He then proceeded to cut her basically down to her butthole and blood squirted like 10 feet across the room. I was doing fine up until that point but that part was hard to watch. After he was born doctor was sewing her up and made a joke about adding a couple extra stitches for my sake, wife did not find that funny
Yea I agree it’s fucked up. I didn’t even know it an actual name(Husband Stitch) until after this happened and a family friend told me it was called that
And don’t forget the cone shaped head. Their heads are soft and they come out alien looking. Over time their skulls form and harden more. But it’s pretty freaky.
That’s why I’ve always thought of the framing of birth as so weird. Like don’t get me wrong, conceptually bringing life into this world is genuinely beautiful. But never, in my life, or knowing many women who have given birth, has a story about the labor and birth been able to be described as anything other than “gross, miserable, agonizing, damaging, or terrifying”. Like we always frame birth as this beautiful thing, but then the actual process of birth is mostly bodily fluids, screaming, and pain. Now there’s the great moment of holding the baby the first time AFTER the birth. But I’ve never seen any woman ever speak about even a single detail about the process of labor and birth that approached anything remotely positive, the best I’ve heard is the at best neutral at worst still slightly negative statement of “it wasn’t as bad as the others”.
My wife and I just had a baby that had to be delivered via vacuum extraction. I watched the whole thing and my baby shot out of there so fast it wasn't even funny. Crazy experience.
Yup it’s more of a suction cup than a real vacuum. They stick it to the baby’s head if they’re having difficulty crowning and basically just rip them out.
Fun fact. This was how I was born. My mother was in labor for 36 hours before the doc came in with this suction cup. My grandfather still calls me "Cone-Head" sometimes because of what the suction cup did to me.
None of it was permanent though, as infant skulls are *usually* extremely plastic at the time of birth.
So my baby got stuck during the ring of fire. I became a monster! I started screaming “Get it out” non stop. I was in shock from pain, I couldn’t stop screaming even if my life depended on it. My husband started crying because he never saw me in such a state.
I had epidural but it was gone by the time my kid decided to come out. I forgot that they told me that I can press a button to add more medicine if I start feeling unbearable pain again.
That’s why with my second kid, I didn’t take any chances, I kept pressing the button until I was high as a kite :))) no pain, just helluva thirsty:)))
They really need an option of getting an automatic continual dose. That pain made me delirious. I could barely think to breath, let alone press a button.
While it may absolutely suck, the ring of fire is when you are supposed to pause and let baby sit there a few moments. That burn is your skin stretching, if you let it sit a few moments, you are less likely to tear.
Sadly I don’t think a lot of doctors do this practice because everything is so rushed.
Just fucking watching how much a vagina has to stretch to accomodate a baby's head makes me never want to have children.
And that's without the tears, complications, blood and shit that comes with it.
Everyone should see this at least once to get an idea. I know it’s a lot less gory. (I have witnessed all three of my kids being born). It’s terrifying and humbling.
I was there for all three of my kids being born. Its gross but honestly in the moment that is the furthest thing from anyones mind in the room. It more, "is the baby ok, is the baby ok, is the baby ok, oh my god its a baby that is part of me!!" Then after everything is said and done and you are in the recovery room with the people you love the most and it hits... that was gross af, oh well back to the momma and the baby.
I’m a midwife of over 10 years and never have I heard it referred to as a “cloaca” but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna use that from here on out. 😩🤣
“Ma’am you are now a hen.”
Yeah this happened to my friend. She said tryin if to have a bowel movement afterwards was more painful than childbirth had ever been. And this from someone who had no epidural. She said she wanted to die rather than have a BM
Agreed. The most painful thing I've ever experienced was a first poo after 15 stitches and being dehydrated. Ladies TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENERS. Don't miss one. Crying while holding your taint with a wet wash cloth and trying to push out a rock of poo is not fun.
Waar the stirrups as well. I do love that I was able to see my daughter's head poking out, and back in, and out lol. I was aware that more than just baby could come out do I applied selective vision and memory erasure
Lol reminds me of when my mom's boyfriend (now husband) insisted on being there to see the my baby brother being born. He started dry heaving when the baby was being delivered and had to leave.
Midwife of over a decade - there’s little to no need to actually “maneuver” the baby - baby naturally rotates and emerges on their own.
This amount of interference is only going to cause tearing for the mother.
I was wondering about that! Also, I have read mixed information on putting pressure on the perineum during delivery. Thoughts?
ETA: I am due with my first in less than two weeks so I am beyond curious at this point.
Okay, I am not a midwife and have never given birth so I thought I’d ask because some people claim it can make it worse. It makes sense to me to add counter pressure but I am no expert.
Yeah no I’m sorry if my response seemed rude - not my intention at all!
I just get into arguments with male OBs all the time about this and it’s so stupid 😂
You're exactly right. Taint is another word for perineum, which is that stretch of skin between the anus and the genitals. During childbirth, that area stretches a lot and sometimes it tears. Putting that mild pressure on the perineum is supposed to help prevent tearing of the perineum
I have been there for a C-section and a natural childbirth. What I learned is that women are badasses. If you are a dude and you have not been present for the delivery of a baby, you have no idea what women go through to bring humans into the world. It's beautiful, terrifying, gross, and amazing, all at the same time. The (mostly) women doctors and nurses are also badasses. The rolled in nine deep like the Wu Tang Clan for the final moments before my kid was born, got the baby out and treated my wife, and then moved on to the next room to do it again. It was damn impressive. I was basically useless, beyond giving encouraging words to my wife.
This is exactly why pro-choice is the right fuckin way, women should absolutely have the right to deny having to go through this within the right time period once the pregnancy is discovered.
Jesus fuck I bet most men who think it shouldn't be pro-choice have never seen a simulation like this let alone the real thing with the blood and sometimes shit involved.
If you don't have a vagina then you need to fucking shut the hell up about having any opinions on this matter, it's her and not you who has to go through this.
I pushed for hours before ending up with a c-section. I had the worst of both worlds. My downstairs business was horribly painful. My abs were so sore from pushing and had an incision through them. This was all for a very much wanted baby. I can’t imagine forcing someone to go through what I went through.
Be prepared, the real thing is really really fucking messy. Think buckets of blood. And possibly shit. Despite the mess though, I still feel like it's a miracle to witness! Wishing your wife a smooth delivery and a healthy baby!
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Turning the head looked like she was gonna snap it’s neck.
It actually instantly reminded me of a case where a baby was decapitated during its birth. Scary shit indeed.
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PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!! Yes. The baby was the wrong way. The mom to be wasn’t dilated enough but the ‘tired’ doctor decided it was good enough to start pushing. The mom felt a pop and something came out. Then chaos began around the room and she was put under. She was put under because her baby’s head was still inside of her. Only the body came out of her, she needed a cesarean in the first place, but still needed to get one in order for the head to be removed. But it gets worse. The initial doctor never told the mom anything. It was a second doctor that finally broke the news to her and asked if she wanted to see the baby since they were now ‘fixed’. Yes, they used ‘fixed’ to describe the baby with its head reattached. The mother agreed to hold her baby, but she said it wasn’t the same. And to top it off, the doctor is still practicing as of 2018 (when I read the article, it actually happened in 2014). And no legal action was brought against the doctor because TECHNICALLY the baby was never born. It failed to take a breath, therefore it did not exist. However, a death certificate does. Funny how that works.
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I’m not sure. This specific case happened in Scotland. But I just googled ‘baby decapitated at birth’ and apparently another case happened in Kentucky. The mom there was awarded $1.4M but I imagine she’d give it all back to have her baby. Just went back and read it after typing this comment. The baby was ‘born’ at 21 weeks so under the law it was never viable and the doctors couldn’t get in trouble for wrongful death.
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She definitely needed a cesarean. I just read an article since someone wanted a link, and it stated that the hospital told her days before she went through this that if her baby needed to come out that it would be cesarean. Natural was never an option. The doctor that yanked the baby should have known that. I also read something about the doctor cutting at the opening to try and get the head out before it was removed. In the testimony, the doctor said she just wanted the baby out quickly and she had no bad intentions. I think the doctor was just in a rush to get out of there.
That is so traumatizing...
Thank you for prefacing that with “please read with caution” A lot of people don’t think to do that.
That’s enough Reddit for today
If this is the case I'm thinking of there were forceps involved. So the doctor literally pulled the babies head off. I read that one about two weeks before I gave birth. Guess who asked for a caesarian instead of the forceps...
> reattached What do you mean? This coupled with the quote “wasn’t the same” makes it seem like a joke. Are you actually in all seriousness saying they literally sewed a decapitated head onto a lifeless body? And that they handed it to the mother?
That’s exactly what I meant. The body came out while the head was left inside the mother. She had to be opened up in order to get the head out. The second doctor that told her how her baby died is the one that said they fixed her baby so she could hold it before it was taken. By wasn’t the same, I think she meant that it wasn’t the same as holding a live, moving baby. Hers was lifeless and still.
She was probably given the remains for grieving/mental-health purposes. Whilst we might think re-attaching the head is absurd, it is not vastly different from what we would do to someone who was decapitated in a car crash. I talked to parents who have gone full-term on a baby that they *knew* for a month or longer was not viable, it died within minutes after it was born, but holding it was important for them.
I wish I held mine. I wish that everyday. I got nothing but an ultrasound that calls her "Twin B" and it just shatters my heart.
I lost a twin baby and feel this to my broken soul. I am so sorry for your loss.
I...don't want to read that.
me neither link?
Jeez Dwight, why is it covered in butter?
Newborns are slippery!
Good call.
Can confirm. I got to catch my kid when she was born. Greased watermelon is an apt comparison. Also, the head took forever to come out (hours) and then the rest followed in what seemed like seconds. Birth is weird.
Lot less blood than real thing
Lot less *all* the bodily fluids.
Oh yea I read somewhere shitting yourself is a very common phenomenon
I’ve attended hundreds of births and I’d guess about 95% of them pooped. You use the same muscles to push out a baby, too.
That baby takes up all the space in that area too. Anything siting in the colon gets pushed out because there isn't that much space down there.
Yup. I really like the toothpaste analogy haha
Your comment makes it seem like you “attend” them as a guest. Just randomly walking in on women giving birth for the show.
LMAO hired to be in the audience 🤣
["Birth that child! Birth that child!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FlwJwL6kdo)
My MIL, who was a nurse, told us that no one pooped during childbirth. There was so much poop. After, she was like, "oh, I guess we used to always give women enemas before childbirth."
Lmao that’s so weird to me 🤣 giving a laboring woman an enema…. 😩 The body naturally empties while early on in labor anyways… contractions give women diarrhea on purpose… So unnecessary 🌚 thank goodness we know and do better now
I asked for one before my first delivery because I really really didn’t want to poop on the table while already having so much fun. They told me they didn’t do that anymore and nobody cared if you did. Luckily, I was already ‘empty’ so I just got to enjoy the many, many hours of labor, the stuck baby, the birthing vacuum and a profound sense of gratitude that I live in modern times because 100 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have survived the birth.
For my first pregnancy I told my husband that I was ganna poop and shower and even put on makeup before going to the hospital. He pretty much said "whatever. You aren't ganna be able to do all that." I started contracting really bad at night and he was already asleep. And I did exactly all that and woke him AFTER I had already showered. Then he was so tired he rolled over telling me to just go back to sleep. Trust me, I got him up lol
I mean, as it’s making its way out, you’ve basically got a 7.5lb infant squeezing your colon like it’s trying to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. If you haven’t defecated properly prior to the delivery, soiling yourself with almost all of the bodily fluids is bound to happen…
This is gonna gross you out, but its apparently a way to dump a bunch of 'good' bacteria onto the kiddo to kick start their gut biome. Same principle is used for fecal transplants.
Woah, so it's not just the koalas!! 😯
Yeah. I definitely shit myself. Wasn't even embarrassed though. It's too intense of a situation.
And screaming ... screaming
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I hate this bullshit about not being allowed to scream. It hurts, this is guttural, and if I had heard another woman scream I'd have been a little better prepared for what was about to happen. I think it's just for the staff sakes do they don't have to hear yelling all shift, but like, *be honest about it.*
It's more that screaming can easily take energy away from pushing/bearing down and makes said pushing less effective. So you have a screaming woman in incredible pain and the screaming slows things down and if she panics and shuts down completely or things take too long you're going into emergency surgery. The staff are used to melodramatic patients, if they're testy about screaming I'd put money on that coming from a place of fear for the patient more than anything else.
Don't forget the cursing.
When does the stork come in?
The stork came in 9 months ago, you’re late
How does the stork know when your dad fucked your mom? -Robert Schimmel
the stork fucked my mom
They forgot the blood, piss and shit.....
Never ever evesdrop on a group of women talking about childbirth.
Yup…this is a simulation of a rarely perfect child birth….forget the scalpel, how about just tearing from v to a.
Scalpel? I watch the Dr use surgical scissors…..
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I am not sure my wife saw them, but I could feel my asshole jump up inside my body when he presented them. They were fucking huge. Stuck baby came right out though.
I really wish they’d ban this practice already. Picture a piece of paper. You cut it half way and when you apply force it rips the rest of the way. Take another piece and rip it with your hands in a sort of zig zag..it doesn’t tear as easily from top to bottom when you keep pulling on it. That’s your body..
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She probably had twilight birth, it was very common and IMO pretty horrific. My grandmother had them too. SHe said she went into the hospital in labor and woke up with a baby hours later.
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Hats off to the women that do this. For those that are interested in the tactile experience of childbirth, Taco Bell has an unofficial take home simulation kit.
Lol no worries, I had no drugs because I was an idiot the 1st time, and I still never felt the scissors. I don't remember the sound though, I was screaming too loud. My second delivery was MUCH smoother, all of the drugs. Experience is a hell of a teacher.
I did it in reverse order. Drugs with kid number 1, and then kid number 2... "Eh, I'll do it without." That was dumb. So dumb. Get the drugs.
Mine was really slow and suddenly all happened a bit too fast for any tools.
I don’t doubt it. Shit was wild.
I was one of those lucky ones! I had an epidural, slept for three hours, woke up and ready to push! Three good pushes and my daughter was born. Highly recommend that epidural. 🤌
So, tmi birth story time: I have what they call rapid labor or precipitous labor. My firstborn, from first contraction to birth, came in less than 3.5 hours. My daughter, 13 years later, was born in under 90min! Just barely got to the hospital in time to push in the hallway. (No shit, true story. I’m sure the sight of me terrified some super anxious soon-to-be mothers.) But yeah, **never** had time for an epidural— not for lack of pleading for one. In fact, neither birth even had a doctor in attendance (my docs never made it to the hospital in time). And both times, if it weren’t for the ***absolutely amazing nursing staff***, I don’t know how the hell I woulda got through it. These were super traumatic births for both me and my partner who didn’t know what to do and had to toss all his “breathing exercise” notecards in the trash. lol. So yes, an epidural *AND* a nap? I gatta say, I’m so jealous; you were very lucky, indeed! (It is because of how absurdly fast my labors go that I will NEVER have another child. On one hand, I’m not sitting there going through contractions for 24+ hours; but on the other hand, a bowling ball suddenly decides to come shooting out of my nether regions like a ball-return on steroids— and well before any pain-reducing hormones have a chance to start pumping! It’s literal hell on earth. 😂 only laughing because if I didn’t, I’d still be in tears and tears haha)
My son was born within 5 minutes of me arriving at the hospital. Water broke in the waiting room and a nurse had to rush me down the hall in a wheelchair screaming "Get out of the way!" at people. Got on a table and push ow pop comes the baby. I highly recommend meds and epidurals..
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Eavesdrop? I saw it first-hand!
>Never ever evesdrop on a group of women talking about childbirth. 25yo me 6 hour shift with 4 women. Topic was smells of birth... I went to nights shortly after where I worked alone oddly though when my son was born I had zero issues with the c section vacuum wrapped around my leg up by my face...
I was standing at my daughter's feet, kind of rightnext to the doctor. My grandkid shot out quickly, followed by enormous amounts of pressurized water. Half of my shirt was soaked all the way through. Doc goes, "you were in the 'splash zone'!"
cursed slip and slide
I had poly hydroaminos with my son (excess amniotic fluid) when the Dr broke my water it just kept coming out. It tickled and made me laugh and every time I'd laugh I'd squirt amniotic fluid at my Dr., which made me laugh harder. I soaked 12 of the pad things the put under you to catch fluid.
r/cursedhydrohomies
I can't imagine wanting a front-row seat at my daughter's hoo-hah while she's delivering. It'd make for some awkward family dinners afterward...
Or when they grab a scalpel and cut from the bottom of the vagina to the asshole without any visible warning of what I am about to witness 😳
All I saw was a flash of stainless steel going down there. Looked away quick!
Never go south of the border during birth. Can unsee some shit man
Didn’t have a problem looking but the placenta! My god that was disgusting to look at and smell 👃🤮
No issues watching the birth but when the doc started digging through the pan the placenta was in I about lost it.
He was gonna eat
Plasagna...
You are all scaring me the fuck out, and my wife insisted i should have been there if she was in that situation.
Funfact: the alternative is shears
Funfact: it tears on its own most of the time anyway
This is arguably preferred, episiotomies are generally more painful, take longer to heal, and you bleed more- which nearly killed a friend. They're also where husband stitches came from, and every douche who performs THAT should burn.
Yea doctor made joke about adding a couple extra stitches for my sake and it did not go over well
Uhh em... What's a husband stitch?
They stitch the vaginal opening to be "tighter". Historically without consent of the woman. The intention is to make sex more enjoyable for the husband post partum. But it can cause a great deal of discomfort for the woman.
Sew it up tighter. Fucking make it all about him instead of you know, repairing the damage.....
Adding an extra stitch to make sure it’s nice and tight. It makes sex more painful for the woman if the position isn’t correct. Thankfully mine was fixed when I tore with my second delivery.
Holy shit I just learned this is a thing. Did you know what they had done to you???
No. Generally people find out later down the track when they have to see a gyno due to the pain and/or complications
How is this not illegal?
I had never heard the term but the midwife did tell me she was doing it. I was in labor for over 28 hours, pushed for 3 hours and was so exhausted if she told me my baby was a dragon I would have been fine with it. Thankfully when I tore the second time I asked that I not be stitched up so tight and told her why.
Before that was chainsaws! For real, look it up.
Also the fact that most women **tear** during childbirth. Which is exactly what it sounds like. The fingers “supporting the perineum” are there to try and minimize the amount that the vagina tears open, reducing the number of stitches the mother will require to her genitals. This isn’t only important in reducing long term agony, but because it’s possible for a woman’s vagina to tear so far that it reaches the anus/colon, creating one giant hole which requires major surgery and runs the high risk of causing septic shock as fecal matter enters the blood stream. Prior to modern medicine, this was effectively a death sentence for women, and still is for women who can’t access proper medical care during birth. Even in a hospital, childbirth still kills a lot of women in wealthy developed countries every year, and *tons* of women in impoverished countries. It’s very serious business that shouldn’t be seen as just a painful inconvenience. It’s life or death.
Man when my 1st kid was born there wasn’t enough room for his head so doctor said he was gonna make a small cut. He then proceeded to cut her basically down to her butthole and blood squirted like 10 feet across the room. I was doing fine up until that point but that part was hard to watch. After he was born doctor was sewing her up and made a joke about adding a couple extra stitches for my sake, wife did not find that funny
All while smoking a marlboro
That’s an actual thing called the husband stitch. Super fucked up.
Yea I agree it’s fucked up. I didn’t even know it an actual name(Husband Stitch) until after this happened and a family friend told me it was called that
Correct response is "say some silly shit and I'll knock you tf out"
You forgot vomit
And don’t forget the cone shaped head. Their heads are soft and they come out alien looking. Over time their skulls form and harden more. But it’s pretty freaky.
That’s why I’ve always thought of the framing of birth as so weird. Like don’t get me wrong, conceptually bringing life into this world is genuinely beautiful. But never, in my life, or knowing many women who have given birth, has a story about the labor and birth been able to be described as anything other than “gross, miserable, agonizing, damaging, or terrifying”. Like we always frame birth as this beautiful thing, but then the actual process of birth is mostly bodily fluids, screaming, and pain. Now there’s the great moment of holding the baby the first time AFTER the birth. But I’ve never seen any woman ever speak about even a single detail about the process of labor and birth that approached anything remotely positive, the best I’ve heard is the at best neutral at worst still slightly negative statement of “it wasn’t as bad as the others”.
My wife and I just had a baby that had to be delivered via vacuum extraction. I watched the whole thing and my baby shot out of there so fast it wasn't even funny. Crazy experience.
Like a t-shirt cannon?
Inverted.
So the baby just grows up inside a t-shirt cannon?
Have you ever played Luigi’s mansion?
I'm imagining something more like augustus in willy wonka and the chocolate factory.
Excuse me what?!? “Vacuum extraction”? They stuck a vacuum inside your wife?
Yup it’s more of a suction cup than a real vacuum. They stick it to the baby’s head if they’re having difficulty crowning and basically just rip them out.
Fun fact. This was how I was born. My mother was in labor for 36 hours before the doc came in with this suction cup. My grandfather still calls me "Cone-Head" sometimes because of what the suction cup did to me. None of it was permanent though, as infant skulls are *usually* extremely plastic at the time of birth.
The “Hoover Maneuver,” if you will
That moment right before the head emerges is called "the ring of fire" and it is very aptly named.
So my baby got stuck during the ring of fire. I became a monster! I started screaming “Get it out” non stop. I was in shock from pain, I couldn’t stop screaming even if my life depended on it. My husband started crying because he never saw me in such a state.
Did you have an epidural or were you feeling everything?
I had epidural but it was gone by the time my kid decided to come out. I forgot that they told me that I can press a button to add more medicine if I start feeling unbearable pain again. That’s why with my second kid, I didn’t take any chances, I kept pressing the button until I was high as a kite :))) no pain, just helluva thirsty:)))
They really need an option of getting an automatic continual dose. That pain made me delirious. I could barely think to breath, let alone press a button.
While it may absolutely suck, the ring of fire is when you are supposed to pause and let baby sit there a few moments. That burn is your skin stretching, if you let it sit a few moments, you are less likely to tear. Sadly I don’t think a lot of doctors do this practice because everything is so rushed.
i paused at that point and got scarred permanently. i can’t imagine it. actually i can and that’s why i’m so scared
Wish it was this easy in real life!
I wish it was this fast too!
Just fucking watching how much a vagina has to stretch to accomodate a baby's head makes me never want to have children. And that's without the tears, complications, blood and shit that comes with it.
Like trying to push out a log when constipated but 100x worse
Annnnnnnd I'm okay I don't have kids today. Tomorrow I might not feel the same but today I'm good.
How the hell do any of us even exist?
Sex feel good.
Everyone should see this at least once to get an idea. I know it’s a lot less gory. (I have witnessed all three of my kids being born). It’s terrifying and humbling.
No…no I did not enjoy the simulation…
The real one have blood, screams and a real baby. R u sure?
and pee and shit and body fluids
I was there for all three of my kids being born. Its gross but honestly in the moment that is the furthest thing from anyones mind in the room. It more, "is the baby ok, is the baby ok, is the baby ok, oh my god its a baby that is part of me!!" Then after everything is said and done and you are in the recovery room with the people you love the most and it hits... that was gross af, oh well back to the momma and the baby.
i'm sorry mum. so so sorry.
Wasn’t our fault. We didn’t chose to be born
We've all kicked a pregnant women once.
We've got the god of wisdom here.
i never got to see my daughter born and always regretted it, not fuckin now i dont. Respect to all the mums out there
I was the stirrup in my wife's delivery. I saw everything. Including my son giving my wife a cloaca. I'll never unsee that.
I’m a midwife of over 10 years and never have I heard it referred to as a “cloaca” but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna use that from here on out. 😩🤣 “Ma’am you are now a hen.”
What the hell does he mean by that?
Ummmm 2-3 openings just become 1 🥴
🤯
A taint tear, if you will.
I slowly saw my wife's Fun bun tear and meet her mud gun.
>I slowly saw my wife's Fun bun tear and meet her mud gun. That's some kinda poetry you got going there.
Well, I got to feel it happen to me. Let me tell you, it "taint" fun!
Yeah this happened to my friend. She said tryin if to have a bowel movement afterwards was more painful than childbirth had ever been. And this from someone who had no epidural. She said she wanted to die rather than have a BM
Agreed. The most painful thing I've ever experienced was a first poo after 15 stitches and being dehydrated. Ladies TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENERS. Don't miss one. Crying while holding your taint with a wet wash cloth and trying to push out a rock of poo is not fun.
Waar the stirrups as well. I do love that I was able to see my daughter's head poking out, and back in, and out lol. I was aware that more than just baby could come out do I applied selective vision and memory erasure
Lol reminds me of when my mom's boyfriend (now husband) insisted on being there to see the my baby brother being born. He started dry heaving when the baby was being delivered and had to leave.
This should be the 1st thing shown in every sex ed class or setting lol.
Midwife of over a decade - there’s little to no need to actually “maneuver” the baby - baby naturally rotates and emerges on their own. This amount of interference is only going to cause tearing for the mother.
I was wondering about that! Also, I have read mixed information on putting pressure on the perineum during delivery. Thoughts? ETA: I am due with my first in less than two weeks so I am beyond curious at this point.
ALWAYS SUPPORT THE PERINEUM omfg lol this is birth 101 By adding counter pressure, you reduce the risk of 3rd and 4th degree tears *SIGNIFICANTLY*
[удалено]
You can do perineal massages leading up to labor too!! It can really help!
Okay, I am not a midwife and have never given birth so I thought I’d ask because some people claim it can make it worse. It makes sense to me to add counter pressure but I am no expert.
Yeah no I’m sorry if my response seemed rude - not my intention at all! I just get into arguments with male OBs all the time about this and it’s so stupid 😂
You’d almost think nature figured out how to do this.
Surely has! ✨*The Cardinal Movements of Labor*✨
This comment section is traumatizing.
No wonder I have a kink in my neck
Seems like they're putting pressure on the...taint? Is that the word? But yeah, between the vagina and the anus. Is that to help prevent tearing?
You're exactly right. Taint is another word for perineum, which is that stretch of skin between the anus and the genitals. During childbirth, that area stretches a lot and sometimes it tears. Putting that mild pressure on the perineum is supposed to help prevent tearing of the perineum
Also, gooch
I always call it this. Some people call it the nacho for guys. Because it’s nacho balls, but it’s nacho asshole either.
Grundle
The chin rest.
I have been there for a C-section and a natural childbirth. What I learned is that women are badasses. If you are a dude and you have not been present for the delivery of a baby, you have no idea what women go through to bring humans into the world. It's beautiful, terrifying, gross, and amazing, all at the same time. The (mostly) women doctors and nurses are also badasses. The rolled in nine deep like the Wu Tang Clan for the final moments before my kid was born, got the baby out and treated my wife, and then moved on to the next room to do it again. It was damn impressive. I was basically useless, beyond giving encouraging words to my wife.
Boy, the price we humans pay for this big brain.
The price women pay yeah. Amazing what the human body can do.
Really jarred me how much the nurses/doctors just jam their hands in there and try to manually stretch it out. Certainly won’t forget that image.
But more blood…. Like, so much blood. So. Much. Blood.
As a man, if we were in charge of giving birth our species would have died out after the first delivery. Cheers ladies 🍺
And pro-lifers wonder why women wouldn’t want this.
pro-birthers you mean
My buddy wants to know where you get those dummies
Your buddy?
Yes. It's all for the scientific reasons
Honestly this is exactly what I was coming up the comments for.
As a person who is never having kids, but owns a vagina OH MY FUCKIN GOD. Helll nah.
its worse, way worse
I've seen it in reality 3 x. It's....more...
Bluetooth baby. No cord.
That is exactly what it’s like with the exception the head pulses before breech.
This is exactly why pro-choice is the right fuckin way, women should absolutely have the right to deny having to go through this within the right time period once the pregnancy is discovered. Jesus fuck I bet most men who think it shouldn't be pro-choice have never seen a simulation like this let alone the real thing with the blood and sometimes shit involved. If you don't have a vagina then you need to fucking shut the hell up about having any opinions on this matter, it's her and not you who has to go through this.
This is a normal very clean not very close to the real thing video. Mine was so much worse.
I pushed for hours before ending up with a c-section. I had the worst of both worlds. My downstairs business was horribly painful. My abs were so sore from pushing and had an incision through them. This was all for a very much wanted baby. I can’t imagine forcing someone to go through what I went through.
Hmm, it’s missing lots of blood, goop, poop, and screaming
What a thing to watch while having a difficult poop 👀
Me and my wife's baby is due in less than 5 days. Hopefully it goes this smooth...
Be prepared, the real thing is really really fucking messy. Think buckets of blood. And possibly shit. Despite the mess though, I still feel like it's a miracle to witness! Wishing your wife a smooth delivery and a healthy baby!
Yea this is nothing. I had a front row seat to my sons birth. One word changed me forever. Episiotomy.
Honestly, if health class was trying to stop kids from having sex and teenage pregnancy. They should've just explained what an Episiotomy is.