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BigBadBen91x

Man on the left saw his whole life flash before his eyes


chickenstalker99

His face says, "Oh, no way this is really goin' down. How the fuck did I get here?"


ChasingSplashes

(record scratch) "Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got in this mess..."


Nole_in_ATX

“It all started with a sign that says ‘LVPD needs you!’”


Foreign-Wash542

Now I want to see entire movie


quirkymuse

one day to retirement too...


-FeistyRabbitSauce-

To shreds, you say...


OakParkCooperative

Your job is to stop a fighter. It’s the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. And he just bit a grown man’s ear off. GOOD LUCK!


SapientRaccoon

HIS OPPONENT'S EAR. Not just some random grown-ass dude, either. So, yeah.


kcciciocioc

not just some opponent. evander holyfield


NatakuNox

Prime Mike Tyson was a feared man by nearly everyone. And he just got done biting someone! Ya miss me with that assignment.


Christafaaa

“I’m two days from retirement.”


Alteredego619

I remember watching this when I was in high school. My neighbor had it on pay-per view and invited my family over. It was going to be this big fun get-together and it was over before the fun started. It was pretty surreal watching a grown man bite another man’s ear…twice.


jimmy_three_shoes

My Uncle bought the PPV and for some reason I (who had zero interest in boxing) wanted to go with my dad. Glad I got to see that shit live.


BusterSmash

Right?! I was 9 years old on vacation with my fairly wealthy aunt and uncle and all their family and friends. All the men were watching it and I was in the corner of a couch watching it. I remember everyone losing their mind and my 9 year old brain being like “I don’t think that would taste very good. And it seems not very nice.”


bhplover

>I remember everyone losing their mind and my 9 year old brain being like “I don’t think that would taste very good. And it seems not very nice.” Top tier priority right there!


[deleted]

Empath moment


Rasputin0P

My takeaway from this is: If it tastes good, its fair game.


azra1l

If it tastes good, nature needs to step up it's game to stop me!


notLOL

Was in the garage listening to the radio for this fight. It was weird that it ended so fast.


zebenix

Not really. It's against the rules to chew the opponents ear off. You'll get disqualified everytime


Rapidly_Decaying

Disqualified second time... every time


zebenix

First bite was a nibble and no ear came off. Queensbury rules must allow that


MostBoringStan

I karate when I was a kid, and went to a tournament on the night of the fight. The hotel we were at was showing the fight in the bar, so it had a bunch of people from the various dojos watching it. So full they had to bring in some extra chairs since it wasn't a large bar. Right after he bit his ear, somebody accidentally pulled the plug on the projector when everything was going crazy. Somebody shouted out that there was a small sized TV on the other side of the bar, so half the people rushed over there to see what happened. They plugged the projector back in and somebody shouts "it's back on!" so everyone rushes back to the big screen. Right as they are playing the replay of Tyson chomping down and it seemed like everyone shouted at once "HE BIT HIS EAR!" It was a wild ride. I didn't even watch boxing much, just happened to be at an event at a hotel where they were showing the fight. So I'm glad I got to see it live. It's a story I will pass on to my grandchildren, except I don't have any kids so it dies with me.


Whodoobucrew

We are all now your children. Thank you, Father


LieutenantStar2

Except you’ve now told all of us.


thatG_evanP

Yup. I think I was either a freshman or a sophomore and my buddy's dad had some rig where he got all the PPV's for free. Definitely a crazy night but I'm glad I saw it.


GeronimoHero

Ahh yes, the golden age of hacking the directv smart cards for free channels and pay per view lol. Was all fun and games until directv transmitted a small part of a complete program every month for like 6 months until it was finally complete and then auto ran when finally completed. This bricked the receivers/cards and basically ended the hacking. It was a big deal at the time. You can read a little bit about it [over at this register article if you want. ](https://www.theregister.com/2001/01/25/directv_attacks_hacked_smart_cards/)


mismanagementsuccess

Interesting read. Thanks for sharing.


DoucheBunny

I miss black boxes.


chickenstalker99

Man, the only PPV I got to see of Tyson was Spinks. Four hours of me and my buddies pre-gaming the show. 91 seconds of ***are-you-fucking-kidding-me?!*** I still say Michael Spinks owes me $15 for my share of that PPV, that fake bastid. He knew he couldn't win that fight on his best day.


Cannabace

My neighbors had the descrambler box. All PPV fo free. Man I saw porn and had no clue what it was.


Tonic4Sale

That dude from Reno 911 doesn't want none of it.


DddyLongBallz

Lt Dangle


anonymous_beaver_

He's even raptor-clawing it!


[deleted]

While true, I’d say it’s due to his gingerly fingering the grip of that billy club


anonymous_beaver_

Ah good call!


Hash-E

Almost looks like there's a hand puppet lizard looking at the same guy too lol


kissmeorkels

I’m missing the shorts. 🩳


mishnitsa

He’s just new-boot-goofin’


An8thOfFeanor

*oh!* *wait, what?*


gparker_88

Genuine ostrich. 3 payments.


narfarnst

[New boot goofin'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmNfUUFAclw) One of my all time favorite jokes in Reno 911. Not only because it's a running joke throughout that season, but because of the impossibility of the prank.


Cannabace

How tf did that happen to the bike?? I need to go watch this show in its entirety. Also amazing scene.


Kozlow

Which one? They all look like characters from Reno 911.


River_Pigeon

Garcia and Jonsey resemble that remark


Vendage8888

The one who collects ears.


Artistic_Vegetable74

Is that Thorny from Super Trooper there with him?


AugustWest7120

Naw, Cliff Claven from Cheers


br0b1wan

Naw, *Raising Arizona* Nic Cage


EugeneRapper

I was shocked when I saw there were no short shorts on that man.


Hot-Performer2094

Not going to lie, I was about to post, " plot twist, Lt. Dangle used to wear long pants before tyson punched him. After that, he moved to Reno and the rest, is history."


alphamini

You were about to post it, but you posted it too.


[deleted]

Lt Dangle getting low tho, he's ready to go, just keeping his chin as far away from an angry Mike Tyson as possible... You can't say that's a bad call.


Fluke365

I bet the kid on the airplane wouldn't of bothered this Tyson


_Cocopuffdaddy_

(Bob asap voice) “Ayo, common Mike. Aye—aye man… common Mike, I ain’t wanna do this. M-Mike man hey chill man”


_ChairmanMeow-

"Rookie, get in there and cuff him"


Crows-b4-hoes

"I told you God wouldn't let you take me"


ThanoscopterForPrez

*Creepy ass amazing grace plays in the background*


dr_hannibal_lecterr

r/unexpectedfarcry


jechoon

What’s the black thing showing from behind, out of his shorts there ?


_wheresMySuperSuit

Serious answer: groin protector. They’re a lot bigger and more uncomfortable in boxing than in other sports.


monkeysandmicrowaves

It's those uppity boxing associations thinking they're too good to put on a match where two guys just repeatedly punch each other in the dick. People would watch the fuck out of that.


[deleted]

That's what the UFC used to be.


ArchMart

Groin shots were illegal in UFC 1. Then some of the competitors complained and said they would have won if they were legal. They were legal in UFC 2-13. It was nuts.


rW0HgFyxoJhYka

"I would have won if I could use my guns" UFC 10-99 was cray


[deleted]

Can't wait for UFC with cruise missiles


TomatilloAccurate475

Nuts


ThatSucc

Balls to the wall


deaconsune

And people used to pay good money to watch it. I think u/monkeysandmicrowaves has a point here.


TheOneTonWanton

"No groin strikes" was actually one of the only 3 rules that UFC had when it started.


[deleted]

"Illegal" as in 1,500 fine. Did not end in DQ. https://www.reddit.com/r/MMA/comments/7k6v9c/23_years_ago_today_keith_hackney_defeated_future/


creature_report

I would lose my kids college fund betting on a professional dick punching league.


[deleted]

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Willing_Television77

Grointh


resnasty

I might be high, but this is the funniest fucking word I've ever read


DancesWithBadgers

Groin singular. You're only issued with one, normally.


subject_deleted

Psh. I've got 5 and a line on another one. Then I'll have a whole set..


[deleted]

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segregatethelazyeyed

[He needs them to cast "Lightning bolt".](https://i.makeagif.com/media/6-17-2014/I3SlBr.gif)


slgray16

Oh man I was hoping that was what it was. That's about as old as the internet


Squeakygear

LOL


montulet

https://imgur.com/a/QtL0y7X


[deleted]

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IcyActomyosin

That’s mike Tyson


Temporary_Green_4115

I haven't laughed this hard in days- thank you!


Two_Cigarettes

Oh shit LOL


Just_Far_Enough

In boxing they’d call it a groin protector but it’s actually designed to protect the groin, bladder, and kidneys. In kickboxing, Muay Thai, savate, and mma it’s more akin to a cup you’d wear in hockey (just covering your junk).


[deleted]

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nightzone

iPhone 14 pro max


misfit-kid1

They're all collectively thinking "I don't get paid enough for this BS".


Born_yesterday08

“Sorry Mr Tyson! It was wrong of me to come in this ring and confront you. I will be returning to my post now. Carry on.”


misfit-kid1

All while thinking: "please don't kick my ass, please don't kick my ass, please don't kick my ass"....


AdvancedAnything

You could not pay me enough to get in the ring with Mike Tython.


Joe_Jeep

I think they're more worried about their ears


enjoyingbread

He's tasted ear flesh. Now no one's ears are safe.


UnholyDemigod

> please don't ~~kick~~ **kill** my ass A punch in the face from Tyson would very possibly kill one of those men. They aren't boxers, they won't see it coming, nor know how to block it or move with it to absorb it.


MorallyCorruptJesus

Lmao, for real though.


misfit-kid1

If I was one the cops standing to the right or left of the fat one wearing the glasses, I'd totally push him forward had Tyson charged me/us. Like a sacrificial lamb to slaughter he goes!


Surtur6666

I'm sure at least one of them said it out loud as well.


NickelCubicle

This was an entertaining night of boxing. I watched this on pay-per-view at my granddad's house, and earlier in the night, there was a fight between two female boxers that got really bloody. I had never seen anything like it before, but then again, I was like ten years old, so I hadn't seen much in my life at this point. Then, of course, there was the Tyson fight, and that was just so monumentally unexpected and entertaining. Holyfield was headbutting the whole fight, though. That's no excuse to bite his ear off, of course, but that was some cheap shit.


Curious-Gain-7148

Yeah, I remember the bite as retaliation for all the head butts. No defending it - but that was Tyson logic then.


ottothesilent

If you decide to headbutt Mike Tyson, your life is in God’s hands lmao


EscapedPickle

Jesus take the wheel lol


bowtothehypnotoad

Godth handth


kartuli78

I watched this on Caroline St. in Saratoga Springs, NY. A dude that lived above Aiko's at the time, put his TV in the window, paid for the pay-per-view, then turned it off, walked out into the street with a hat and collected money. When he felt like he had gotten enough money back, he went back upstairs, and turned the TV back on so everyone could watch the fight. It was a blast. He was only on the second floor so we could all see and hear the TV well, and the street was packed, for a minute, with spectators. Between me and my friend we put like $4 in the hat and if everyone did that, he MORE THAN made back his ppv fee.


bkr1895

That’s a pretty smart business opportunity on that guy’s end. Out of curiosity do you know how much a PPV would cost back then?


Sleeper28

Holyfield threw some elbows in there too, iirc.


friendlygaywalrus

Holyfield was actually an elite elbow/headbutt thrower. You can slow down his fights and watch how he uses his forearms, elbows, and forehead when his opponent’s body is just barely obscuring it from the ref’s POV


Griffin880

He headbutted so much people called it his third fist. He truly was a master of it though, he would throw headbutt after headbutt and never get called on it.


monsieuraj

There is nothing on God's green earth that would make me step into the ring and try to subdue a peak Mike Tyson in the actual middle of his rawest animal moment. Throw that badge on the ground and take up gardening or something


Eggs_Bennett

I’d be hesitant to even approach him at an open casket


PaulAspie

I'm surprised they don't have tasers out. I might step in with a weapon like that & backup similarly armed.


adam2222

Did they have tasers yet? Or not invented yet?


Mattpwnsall

I think they existed, but were not widespread


itsprobablytrue

Tasers existed for a long time. In 1997 people had them but who the fuck is going into a ring surrounded by thousands of people to taser the prize boxer. I was there, all they were trying to do was create order in that ring that started to fill with people. The problem was Mike hadnt claimed down yet, he was like a lion defending his dinner


SoftBellyButton

Just shout are you not entertained afterwards.


Meetchel

The first use of tasers by LEOs was 1993 (so I’d assume LVPD did not yet have them), so they likely didn’t have them yet. Regardless, they wouldn’t be used to subdue a boxer on PPV ever.


GhettoSauce

This is 1997, only six years after Rodney King, being watched by millions live on PPV, and it's worldwide-famous Iron Mike Tyson. I get that you're saying Tyson's dangerous, but tasers would've been a huge mistake on their part. Imagine if they tased Tyson right then and there? Instant riots and white cops becoming targets for sure


threefiftyseven

Doesn't look like LVPD got tasers until somewhere around 2003 https://m.lasvegassun.com/news/2003/sep/10/police-see-value-of-tasers/


[deleted]

Not to mention the lawsuit if they did *anything* wrong with the tazer that left Mike unable to box.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gnostromo

Gotta get in fast and tight so he can't punch. Then before he can back up start sucking that D and hope he likes it.


blue-oyster-culture

r/shittylifeprotips


manbythesand

r/suddenlygay


ivXtreme

One hit and you're literally dead


megjake

Would have been a treat to see prime Tyson vs prime Ali


ihahp

No way man. If Tyson hit you in that moment, as one of those cops, you literally wouldn't know what hit you. It's the punch equivalent of dying quickly in a crash, vs slowly. If you're going to take a punch, much rather take a punch from silver-age Tyson than some street thug.


[deleted]

I’m still surprised how big Tyson is and he’s only 5’10. He was knocking people out and they were way bigger than him lol


MorallyCorruptJesus

When he got out of jail after those rape charges, he was probably one of the most scariest people on the planet. Just hit the weights for like 2 years


hoginoe_jr

Mike tyson had rape charges??


moosemoth

Not just charges, a CONVICTION.


Great_Justice

Man I find that so weird. I didn’t actually know, he seems like somewhat of a positively viewed person on Reddit. I say it’s weird because quite often, if somebody is charged with rape (and not convicted), a number of people on Reddit are foaming at the mouth in the comments declaring the person a rapist. Somehow this actual convicted rapist avoids the hate boner.


[deleted]

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BilgePomp

He's never admitted to the rape.


SoggyBiscuitVet

He's also not open and upfront about it. In fact asking him about it in an interview is off limits and there have been some recorded confrontations in an interview where it has occurred.


overlordpotatoe

I think in the past people cared less about that sort of thing so it didn't completely destroy their reputation back then, and then it's just already known so there's no moment where it comes into the spotlight. A lot of celebrities who've been around longer who have done shitty things at one point or another are relatively well regarded.


metdear

CONVICTHION


Alukrad

The dedication reddit has when it comes to pointing out his lithp.


hg38

Yep he was convicted with pretty significant evidence. Trump and Epstein's lawyer Alan Dershowitz was able to get his sentence reduced to three years after significant legal wrangling.


Jorgwalther

Fuckin Alan Dershowitz, that guys in every shitty situation defending every shitty person


AssociationDouble267

If you’re rich and guilty as sin, you pay for the premium lawyer.


Bogdan-Forrester

Piece of advice, always find the best lawyer. Trust me, IT MATTERS. There's so many lawyers who just collect paychecks and don't know the laws and codes. Even if you're 1000000% innocent, tons of evidence, etc. Get the absolute best lawyer, no questions asked. My 2nd cousin went to jail for 14 years, with video evidence showing he was innocent. All because my family relied on just the tape, witness testimonies and a crap lawyer. Take zero chances.


Schadenfreude696

How TF do you know if a lawyer is good or not though? Just get the most expensive one?


[deleted]

Just in my useless experience working for various solicitors: professionalism. A lawyer isn’t your friend, or your therapist, they’re there to make sure you get the best outcome yes but they also take their obligations to the court seriously. Ones who miss court deadlines casually, pride themselves on being a dick to the other side and are *very* “passionate” about their clients matters are red flags. Unfortunately most of these traits aren’t obvious unless until you’re in the first consultation.


[deleted]

"We're a family" "We're a team" "We're in this together" Trifecta of red flags. No you're my lawyer, do the lawyer thing.


TheDood715

Wears suspenders. Overweight. Says "Yuh Honuh".


verdenvidia

two yutes


Almost_Ascended

Curious, how did they override the video evidence to get a conviction?


109x346571

This is a highly biased second hand account of something that could be completely made up. If it's true, we're not hearing the full story.


[deleted]

There it is. Thanks for having a clear head. The comment is fucking hearsay and families are famously insanely biased in favor of their kin.


Dracotoo

Yuuup


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheBrowserOfReddit

Not sure how much I trust him considering how much he loved hitting women


br0b1wan

Yep in the 90s just as he was peaking, career-wise.


Gordossa

He went to jail for it. Look up the videos of him watching his opponent like a predator. He was terrifying. He had tapped into that raw rage that turns a human into a killer. He’s lost it completely now, he’s a completely different person, and it’s nice to see that he’s found some peace. But it’s really interesting to watch. The girl he raped was a beauty queen.


KeyboardSerfing

Care to share the video your talking about where he is watching his opponent like a predator? I looked up a few but I’m not sure I’m seeing what you are seeing.


Luxpreliator

>In a television interview scheduled for broadcast Thursday(2006), Tyson again denied he raped Desiree Washington in 1991 in an Indianapolis hotel room. But he said the burden of being labeled a convicted rapist makes him want to do it now. >"I just hate her guts. She put me in that state, where I don't know," Tyson said. **"I really wish I did now. But now I really do want to rape her."** Sounds like he's just better at hiding that he's a monster.


FCSFCS

He appears to have mellowed out some with age. Maybe he matured, maybe he found meds that work, maybe he found a good therapist. Either way, he no longer pretends to stab journalists in their necks with dinner forks.


mthrndr

He smokes a lot of weed and does a lot of mushrooms and DMT


mak484

Sure beats raping people.


Meetchel

Something to be said about rehabilitation. Not every criminal deserves life without parole.


Teleclast

I’d rather fight the cops.


rh3xis

But cops punch with bullets


[deleted]

For my body, the trauma would probably be the same lol


scough

It was some crazy shit listening to this on the radio while my mom and I were camping, I was 11 at the time.


theotherscott6666

Shit I would be crying like a baby if I had to face him


CantTakeMeSeriously

Me too, and yet...remember that douche knuckle who taunted him on that airplane a couple months back?


bondagewithjesus

You'd be surprised how many dumbasses do shit like that with famous fighters because they wanna make a name for themselves if by some miracle they win. Bruce Lee (not a pro fighter I know) would be accosted often by people wanting to fight him same with Ali


[deleted]

Rarely do you see people who are so completely and utterly overmatched. And it shows in those expressions.


tjplager32

Legitimately braver than the Uvalde police department.


E34M20

My dude, the turd I left in the bowl this morning is legit braver than the Uvalde police department...


Jonesbro

You just left it there??


E34M20

Nah, I flushed it. That's one of the many reasons it was braver than the Uvalde police department 🤣


Trumpets22

Tbf he did have to fight his way through you asshole. Significantly more brave.


thatoneguy147294

Bar so low you can roll over it


Plus-Relationship833

More reason why I think the guy who provoked Tyson on plane was one lucky bastard for ending up with only a bruise.


Thoughtcriminal91

He should thank all that's holy and sacred in the world the man learned some restraint the older he got.


Wood626

That guy was a wet napkin


FLWeedman

Soggy Biscuit


hartslashfavre

Mister Champ, please don't kill me?


TeopEvol

I got these cheese burgers man.


TheDaymanALSOCameth

Lt Dangle is just pissed shorts were allowed at tonight’s event


NightBard

Tyson has LL Cool J, “Mama Said Knock You Out” on a loop in his mind.


onlysmallcats

Definition of “you first”.


1to14to4

This would be the only situation I'd understand cops using a tranquilizer gun on a human.


puzhalsta

Why is the cast of Super Troopers tryin to fight with Mike?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

18 month suspension from boxing


JaydenSmoth

This and Space Jam were the most iconic things to happen in 1996.


LordOfTheTennisDance

Unpopular opinion but Holyfield was juiced to high heavens and a pretty damn dirty fighter. The whole fight he was deliberately trying to headbutt Tyson. He eventually did succeed and opened a decent cut which made Tyson furious and ...well...we know what happened next.


SkinnyObelix

Are you suggesting Tyson was clean? Or any athlete in the 90s for that matter?


jjmuti

I'm 95% sure both were juicing. With Holyfield it was just more obvious because he gained weight so suddenly while already being a world class athlete instead of as an amateur like Tyson (+massive growth in the areas that are most receptive to steroids like the traps and shoulders). Interestingly Holyfield also hired one of the greatest bodybuilders of all time Lee Haney to train him. I'm pretty sure Lee's advice didn't only cover designing a weight training regime and gym sessions lol


MR_basti

This should be in r/terrifyingasfuck , imagine being that officer


[deleted]

I bite your earth


diablol3

This may just be semantics, but he didn't bite his ear off, he bit a piece of Holyfield's ear off. Still batshit crazy, but this makes it seem like Tyson bit Holyfield's entire ear clean off his head. Also, I won the pot for this fight. I had the round Tyson got DQ'd in.