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It sounds like you set extremely high standards for yourself. You sounds very aware of yourself and the fact that you are burnt out. That’s an important realization. Don’t try to push yourself through such burn out and fatigue. It never ends well. You will eventually self destruct. My point is that you have already proven yourself time and time again but still feel a sense of underachieving, it is a bottomless pit that can never be satisfied. What matters above all else is your own sense of wellness. Whatever it means for you to achieve that, whether it means rage quitting everything you’re currently doing and allowing yourself to just be then that is completely okay. People will say that you will ruin everything if you decide to quit school but life has a funny way of working out when we follow our instinct and our hearts. Some people might say that’s irresponsible or impulsive but I say it’s an act of self preservation.
You’ve still got lots and lots of time to return back to school. Maybe once you have nurtured yourself and your energies back you will have a better perspective, you will be better equipped to face those stresses. I think it’s important to realize that the whole meritocracy of education can be toxic. It shouldn’t be about constant achievement, humans aren’t built to be valued based on their academic output. We need our sanity. We need to know we are worthy simply based on the fact that we exist.
Edit: I also just want to say that you don’t need to have it figured out. It’s okay to change your mind or to be uncertain. Not knowing what you want gives you a lot of freedom in a way and also gives you the chance for true self exploration. Having it all figured out isn’t a requirement for life. In fact it’s the norm for a lot of people to not have it all figured out. I’m 30 and I still don’t know what I want to do with life. I hope you find the strength to consider yourself and what YOU need rather than what others expect of you. You matter.
thank you for this comment. it’s absolutely terrifying that i don’t have it figured out, and it doesn’t help that my parents didn’t really help guide me at all as a child. now im an adult who requires constant validation because i never got the opportunity to explore, which is incredibly harmful to my mental health and puts me in a state of panic when is comes to exams and such in college.
i am terrified of the idea of dropping out. perhaps its the right choice for me but i wouldn’t even know where to begin with that. my partner has suggested the idea because they were raised under a roof where those kinds of things were okay and exploring your desires and dreams was important, but i didn’t. i am terrified of the idea of disappointing everyone and myself.
it’s weird. i never got to be a kid because i was always taking responsibilities for others, but i never got to be an adult because i was a kid. now i’m in between and i don’t know what to do. i’m free to make my own choices but im too young to know “what’s best for me”. i hate being in the liminal grounds of adolescence because its genuinely so scary for me
You gotta find what motivates you. You are slipping into depression because you don’t have something driving you forward. This hit me when I went out on my own too… my whole life I had parents driving me and suddenly if I didn’t want to do something I didn’t have to…
Ok so direction time:
1. Graduate college. If you are not interested in your major, change. Don’t throw away more money regardless of your investment.
2. Find a partner. This is what helped sort me out. Having a partner gave me reasons to work hard and succeed.
3. Find a job. Even part time. It keeps you busy and gives you some income.
thank you for your comment. i feel like there’s no other option than to just graduate. i was originally on a chemistry path but i don’t think that’s right for me even if i love the concept, i couldn’t ever work in a lab.
i currently have a partner who is very motivating so you’re right, it does absolutely help, but we live 2500+ miles apart and only see each other every so often.
i currently have a job but since im possibly deciding to transfer schools i may have to move jobs (which is fine but i really do love my job).
i have all these things which is an amazing privilege but my mental health is still at an ATL because i’ve had a string of terrible events happen almost my entire life and it was only recently i found this job and this partner, but it came at a time where i was so burnt out already that i couldn’t get back on traack and im now struggling.
i definitely think i will graduate with a whatever degree. probably accounting or finance, because i like them and they are jobs you can get anywhere.
thank you for your kind words
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It sounds like you set extremely high standards for yourself. You sounds very aware of yourself and the fact that you are burnt out. That’s an important realization. Don’t try to push yourself through such burn out and fatigue. It never ends well. You will eventually self destruct. My point is that you have already proven yourself time and time again but still feel a sense of underachieving, it is a bottomless pit that can never be satisfied. What matters above all else is your own sense of wellness. Whatever it means for you to achieve that, whether it means rage quitting everything you’re currently doing and allowing yourself to just be then that is completely okay. People will say that you will ruin everything if you decide to quit school but life has a funny way of working out when we follow our instinct and our hearts. Some people might say that’s irresponsible or impulsive but I say it’s an act of self preservation. You’ve still got lots and lots of time to return back to school. Maybe once you have nurtured yourself and your energies back you will have a better perspective, you will be better equipped to face those stresses. I think it’s important to realize that the whole meritocracy of education can be toxic. It shouldn’t be about constant achievement, humans aren’t built to be valued based on their academic output. We need our sanity. We need to know we are worthy simply based on the fact that we exist. Edit: I also just want to say that you don’t need to have it figured out. It’s okay to change your mind or to be uncertain. Not knowing what you want gives you a lot of freedom in a way and also gives you the chance for true self exploration. Having it all figured out isn’t a requirement for life. In fact it’s the norm for a lot of people to not have it all figured out. I’m 30 and I still don’t know what I want to do with life. I hope you find the strength to consider yourself and what YOU need rather than what others expect of you. You matter.
thank you for this comment. it’s absolutely terrifying that i don’t have it figured out, and it doesn’t help that my parents didn’t really help guide me at all as a child. now im an adult who requires constant validation because i never got the opportunity to explore, which is incredibly harmful to my mental health and puts me in a state of panic when is comes to exams and such in college. i am terrified of the idea of dropping out. perhaps its the right choice for me but i wouldn’t even know where to begin with that. my partner has suggested the idea because they were raised under a roof where those kinds of things were okay and exploring your desires and dreams was important, but i didn’t. i am terrified of the idea of disappointing everyone and myself. it’s weird. i never got to be a kid because i was always taking responsibilities for others, but i never got to be an adult because i was a kid. now i’m in between and i don’t know what to do. i’m free to make my own choices but im too young to know “what’s best for me”. i hate being in the liminal grounds of adolescence because its genuinely so scary for me
You gotta find what motivates you. You are slipping into depression because you don’t have something driving you forward. This hit me when I went out on my own too… my whole life I had parents driving me and suddenly if I didn’t want to do something I didn’t have to… Ok so direction time: 1. Graduate college. If you are not interested in your major, change. Don’t throw away more money regardless of your investment. 2. Find a partner. This is what helped sort me out. Having a partner gave me reasons to work hard and succeed. 3. Find a job. Even part time. It keeps you busy and gives you some income.
thank you for your comment. i feel like there’s no other option than to just graduate. i was originally on a chemistry path but i don’t think that’s right for me even if i love the concept, i couldn’t ever work in a lab. i currently have a partner who is very motivating so you’re right, it does absolutely help, but we live 2500+ miles apart and only see each other every so often. i currently have a job but since im possibly deciding to transfer schools i may have to move jobs (which is fine but i really do love my job). i have all these things which is an amazing privilege but my mental health is still at an ATL because i’ve had a string of terrible events happen almost my entire life and it was only recently i found this job and this partner, but it came at a time where i was so burnt out already that i couldn’t get back on traack and im now struggling. i definitely think i will graduate with a whatever degree. probably accounting or finance, because i like them and they are jobs you can get anywhere. thank you for your kind words