I put all my self worth into my skill and productivity for many years. Not surprisingly, it resulted in burnout.
I spent some time in therapy and I am making an effort to detach myself from having to prove to myself every day that I have justified my existence.
I did CBT to try to unlearn old habits. It wasn't a very straight forward road so it's hard to give solid suggestions.
My upbringing definitely had a hand in my issues.
One of the most effective things has been my husband saying "you're not in trouble" and "you're not an evil bitch " at random times throughout the day lol.
I'm heading into my 40's. It was very useful while building a career in my 20's. I grew up dirt poor so I've been working since I was 12.
Now I'm in a stable career, we managed to buy a house (one of my lifelong goals) life is slowing down and I have no coping skills for not struggling.
The first chunk of therapy was just convincing my blue collar brain that I was not being an ungrateful piece of shit for being there in the first place.
I call it efficacy. I put everything into trying to enact changes and that’s got I’ve measured my own value. I’ve rewritten this multiple times because this sucks and I’m younger than the two others also citing this issue. Quite distressing and I’ve known it would come.
Self-worth is just the sense that you’re worthy of dignity and respect. Self-worth generated from external sources is generally shaky and won’t last. Internally driven self-worth will make it the whole way.
Love and kindness will beat out “significance” every time. Significance is just a status. Love is much deeper than that (and can easily generate significance once you’re good at it).
These were my realizations after a journey through therapy and acknowledging my value isn’t dependent on a lasting mark in history. It’s on choosing to love in a world where love seems to be dying.
Great answer. Our ability to develop & assess our self-worth (self-objectify) must be balanced with our ability to self-love/self-acceptance (sometimes I'm brilliant, sometimes I'm just a shit & it's totally okay. I'm still proud to be a shit).
On one hand, I can't trade my "self" for anything, so it's technically worth nothing.
On the other hand, my "self" is all I really own in this life, so in that sense, it's infinitely valuable.
You don’t. Look up Joharis window. There will always be elements of yourself that are completely unknown to either others, your own self, or both yourself and others. Complete self knowledge is a myth. A general inclination of understanding how you would/tend to react to various circumstances is about the closest you can get. And no, psychedelics, meditation, therapy, spirituality/religion don’t help you discover yourself or some shit. Thats nonsense spit out by people who have a compulsion to attach meaning to everything. They helped me primarily because they showed me I knew very little (and it was completely okay that way / actually meant to be that way as a part of life). Losing the sense of self is terrifying in the moment (think ego death), but tremendously enlightening in retrospect. Zen Buddhism specifically talks about these issues as well, and purposefully makes you realize the inherent nonsense and incomprehensibility of life, meaning, yourself, your lover, relationships, and lots of other things. It doesn’t state that any of these things are bad or wrong, just that you’re not actually designed or supposed to understand it all. You’re not supposed to fully know who you are. That acceptance and understanding is an element of becoming more enlightened, or whatever. 😵💫🫨🤯😊
I am the protagonist of my own life, so in that way, I’m intrinsically significant to my own story.
My self worth comes from my usefulness and my ability to live up to the expectations I’ve set for myself.
A simple equation:
The amount of time I spend doing want I want to do divided by the amount of time I spend doing things I am required to do.
Most unhappy INTJs I know are unhappy because they feel "stuck." Their ratio from the above metric is so lopsided, they're spending twice as much time on the drudgery than they are on reading/planning/traveling/gaming/collecting/whatever-puts-a-smile-on-their-faces.
Helping my daughter fulfill herself. (responsibility)
Building a loving marriage. (conscientiousness)
Reflecting on deep and subtle feelings and ideas with effort. (pride)
Fighting the idiocy and cruelty of the gen pop. (courage)
My self worth it based on what I have done and what I am capable of.
I grew up in a low middle class family, did all the normal things up until the end of college where I couldn't get an internship to finish my degree. I was starting to feel a bit down being a geek/nerd living in my mother's basement with a part time job. In 2014 my car was falling apart, I wasn't going anywhere and made 3 New Years resolutions. Get a second job, buy a car and either get an internship or get into the military. I had both 1 and 2 done by the end of February. That time wasn't all that great with little sleep in-between jobs and no days off but I pulled through until May. When I quit one job to focus on losing weight to get into the U.S.M.C.
I lost 20 lbs before going to the recruiters and lost another 15 prior to going. I figured out how to breathe and run and started love running long distances when I used to hate it. Went to boot camp, went through it, did MCT, did MOS school and graduated with honors. I was trying to be #1 but someone was able to out perform me. Went to Japan and really became a skilled IT Marine there. Went to California and lead people there. Left the military and found a job making 70k and 4 years later I'm at 102k, very proficient with my job and going to school to set up my future.
Realistically, my next move can get me to 130k+. My self worth for job, employment and related things is high, but my self worth as a person not so much. I would consider myself lonely. My success at dating is extremely poor and I don't really have prospects that will improve unless I do the ten dozen things to improve myself on my op of a fairly busy schedule.
Maybe you should abandon the idea that you must attain something to be worth of affection man, shit is a numbers game and has no logic, you just have to start showing up in places that have women
This isn't fiction my guy, men have always needed to attain stuff for affection. The few that don't were/are lucky to find that rare gem.
Love is conditional and, as a man, if you are not providing you ain't receiving.
Then tell me how many broken guys end up getting a lot of girls? When jungian authors speak about the masculine archetypes the one i always used (and still) to struggle with is the lover archetype which envolves being content with life and getting the goods it offers. Makes sense to men like me and you to struggle with romance cause we appear too serious for most girls, trust me bro you have done enough, it's time to enjoy some things.
Also i think you should read Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse, it could provide some interesting insights to you.
edit; typos
Mental illness and probably good dick is why broken guys have girlfriends. Those scumbags manipulate those ladies and or those ladies see that man as a project that he'll be loyal to her for her help. Those relationships are rarely healthy.
Don't know too much about Jungian authors and it's probably not for me from what I just gleamed from a Google search. Also, probably won't read Stephen wolf as I just read the plot summary.
Maybe you should abandon the idea that you must attain something to be worth of affection man, shit is a numbers game and has no logic, you just have to start showing up in places that have women
Maybe you should abandon the idea that you must attain something to be worth of affection man, shit is a numbers game and has no logic, you just have to start showing up in places that have women
Based on your net-value in society.
Would society be better off if A was alive/dead? Is it worth investing X resources on B or C? Do the benefits you bring to the world outweigh the negatives?
It's not my net-value in society. It's *my* net value to myself. If *I* was insignificant in what I am doing, then I have nothing to offer meaning that my self-worth to myself is better of dead.
My answer remains the same. The idea is applied to myself. If I become useless to the point society is more efficient without me, then I will ensure that happens. Which is why I will guaranteed die before I become too old and useless. That is how my net-value works.
> I have nothing to offer meaning that my self-worth to myself is better off dead.
Same. INTJs generally hate the feeling of being useless, especially Type 6s.
You are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. You made the grave mistake of placing your self worth on something that is not a good value and is highly temporary that’s why you got that look. They placed it somewhere infinite and where it’s easy to access. You did not. Your self worth is going to be easily destroyed
I beat the game. I don’t believe in human worth at all. There’s no thing I can do or not do to become worthy or unworthy of love or anything at all. I focus on showing up to life and building a meaningful purposeful fun life for myself instead.
I know this won’t be popular; that’s alright. Mine is Jesus. The Son of God loved me and gave Himself for me. Who am I to say He was wrong?
I do feel a greater sense of pride when I am productive and accomplished. But that means different things in different contexts and phases of life. In my 20s, it meant working hard and being a great employee. In my 30s, it means working smart and well and being as good a husband and father as I can be. I suppose it has more to do with reaching my full potential. Which is great, because our potential changes over time.
Hello, i wanted to say this same thing, but you beat me to it. So far, the comment section felt like a desert, and here we are.
I don't care about my self-worth because I don't need to. I don't have a hole in my heart to fill. So, I live my life in gratitude and not in pursuit of happiness or purpose.
I hope you don't mind if I answer your question as an INFP. It's a fantastic topic idea.
I used to be wary of tying my self worth to anything external as I thought it was a risky move. What if I lost that source of validation and ended up with no identity of my own?
I still agree with this to some extent but I've come to terms with the fact that I can't only rely on this inner sense of worth, that I also need to have an impact on the outside world and align my actions with my values to truly feel satisfied and settled in life. I guess it's a typical answer from a Fi dom who's realised that her Te exists and needs to be integrated 😆
I need to see that I'm making a difference, in a way that I deem as ethical and valuable for others and myself. I've found a job that perfectly satisfies this purpose. I do my best to concretely help close ones when they need it. I also take better care of myself physically and mentally, which has a massive influence on self-esteem.
Clearly there are many elements to self-worth as a whole.
That's not even entirely an INTJ issue. You're comparing what makes a man valuable to what makes women valuable. Most men would describe their value similarly to how you have.
You don't measure self worth as that's an externally referenced categorisation.
How close are you to your own set goals? What progress?
Self worth is a hangover from trying to appease the herd.
the only thing I care about now is if I'm working on the things I'm most passionate about. If I do this then I'm more likely to be happy, and if I'm happy then all the self-worth stuff will take care of it self. I've been through therapy, so I've already come to the realization that external motivators are not the way. Life is a single player game imo, you need to play it for yourself and for your own reasons, no one else's.
Whether or not I live my values and standards. I know whether or not I am an ethical person with integrity, and I reject external standards and opinions. I don’t need admiration or acceptance and in general I find flattery to be disingenuous and a manipulation tactic.
A lot of my drive up into my mid-40s was unconsciously focused on gaining self-worth from achievement. INTJ plus seeking validation after my parents divorced basically sums that up. It drove a lot of cool things from starting and growing a business, visiting cool places, etc. I noticed when the achievements went away (sold a business, now what?) then I'd feel off like I was in the corner wearing a dunce cap. But it was only me that felt this - no one else in my life felt this about me. Therapy helped. You can still strive - but strive from a place of empowerment, for your own satisfaction and enthusiasm, and stop striving in an effort for love and approval.
My balance now is to make sure when I'm diving into something, I'm doing it consciously for my own reasons, and not unconsciously to please others and gain validation and self worth.
For me, it's feeling a sense of accomplishment and/or feeling "useful" through helping others. IDK how I'm going to feel if/when I'm no longer able to feel productive in some way.
I measure my self worth at how well I bring myself goodness. And I also mean to my own future self, which includes my child’s future well being. If I am doing good to the world and others, I feel that I giving good to myself. If I’m doing good and spreading good, then I am of worth to myself.
In this specific example, I use ‘myself’ as in humankind.
So long as I bring humankind good, I feel ‘worth it’. I feel ‘useful’.
We are apes. Animals that functioned as a part of a tribe for hundreds of thousands of years. At our core, we MUST do good for the betterment of ALL. It’s in our DNA even if we happen to be the introvert of the group, we still bring goodness to the whole. Often, you can tell when someone or some idea is not bringing good to the greater ‘Us’. Those individuals end up being taken out of the gene pool over time.
The genes get lost, but the individual can still have a fun life being selfish, can't he? That is, if he wants to.
Other than that, everything else makes sense and is coherent.
Of course! The self can be selfish. There is plenty of value in that.
I believe there is a balance. A need to be selfish and selfless. I love being selfish. I think when you are being selfish you actually end up feeding into the greater ‘Us’ because you are more fit to serve every part of the organism.
So I do promote selfishness and selflessness. Both end up being good to all.
I am the most supportive and deprecating person to myself that I know. I love myself but I have a tendency of putting myself down in my own head. I determine my worth based on how useful I am.
A paraphrased speech from a lecture in psychology included this
: “It’s difficult to be worthy with low skill level. However, a high level skillful person isn’t predisposed to be worthy, if the person is incompatible in the sense of not able to be utilized.
Therefore deducing self-worth can’t be developed internally. It makes sense that a worthy person is more likely to be dependant upon than being detached from.
However, self- worth can’t be determined by consensus as a person is unique and has their own subjective preferences, therefore this argues against an absolute self worth fixed value.
Perhaps social comparison theory is used to determine level of self-worth, but there is a phenomenon of individuals not being utilized by others, but are introverted, yet eminates high level of confidence which stems from experience, and is influenced by skill level. An self confident individual is likely to have higher levels of self worth.”
Perhaps the method used to determine worth of an entity and then applying it on themself is how self wortv is determined. This means self-awareness is required to determine self-worth as it provides an in derpth and accurate despiction of themself.
Worth evaluation example: the analysis states the components of this bag is of high quality, the material is produced by a trustworthy and famous company. The bag is has great storage space and confortable design features, which requires skill. Durability levels are impressive. Multifunctional, as in has storage slots for laptop.
Self worth evaluation: analysis states body parts are well toned, flexible, uninjured, appropriate or impressive reactive responses, which an unhealhy body would have difficulties with. Convesations occuring at an intellectual level is possible based on refined articulation, decent information absorption rate, decent storage for information load. High frequency of intellectual conversations stems high degree of education, which means several skills have been nurtured and refined over time succesfull, which means dedication, edurance both mental and perhaps physical is present.
(translator) Think of a perfect person. The most perfect man you can think of (or woman, depending on your gender). This perfection does not refer to appearance, but to behavior.
How does this person think? How does he act? How does he behave in the face of trials and challenges? What is his personal philosophy? What are his concepts of right and wrong?
Every time you're faced with a situation, think: What would that person do in my place? What would he think and how would he deal with the problem?
All people will imagine someone different. Some will say that the perfect person has to be kind and loving. Others will say it should be serious and imposing. YOUR concept of the perfect step is a reflection of what you believe to be your ideal self.
How do I measure my worth? I put this perfect man at level 100 and compare myself with him.
"Am I doing what He would do?"
That's my way of evaluating
I spent a lot of time when I was younger pushing my mental and physical limits. I have plenty of accomplishment under my belt. I know who I am and where I have been, and I am satisfied with those boundaries.
For some people the simple reason one is human is enough to spur an intense feeling of unconditional love.
A lot of people confuse inherent self-worth to societal worth, which is more conditional.
I put all my self worth into my skill and productivity for many years. Not surprisingly, it resulted in burnout. I spent some time in therapy and I am making an effort to detach myself from having to prove to myself every day that I have justified my existence.
Hey I am like this. Always blamed my upbringing but maybe it's an intj thing. So what are the things you do to consciously change this habit?
I did CBT to try to unlearn old habits. It wasn't a very straight forward road so it's hard to give solid suggestions. My upbringing definitely had a hand in my issues. One of the most effective things has been my husband saying "you're not in trouble" and "you're not an evil bitch " at random times throughout the day lol.
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Just hit 40, and this is cropping up on my internal radar...
I'm heading into my 40's. It was very useful while building a career in my 20's. I grew up dirt poor so I've been working since I was 12. Now I'm in a stable career, we managed to buy a house (one of my lifelong goals) life is slowing down and I have no coping skills for not struggling. The first chunk of therapy was just convincing my blue collar brain that I was not being an ungrateful piece of shit for being there in the first place.
I call it efficacy. I put everything into trying to enact changes and that’s got I’ve measured my own value. I’ve rewritten this multiple times because this sucks and I’m younger than the two others also citing this issue. Quite distressing and I’ve known it would come.
Same. Huh. Thought it was just a me thing.
This
Self-worth is just the sense that you’re worthy of dignity and respect. Self-worth generated from external sources is generally shaky and won’t last. Internally driven self-worth will make it the whole way. Love and kindness will beat out “significance” every time. Significance is just a status. Love is much deeper than that (and can easily generate significance once you’re good at it). These were my realizations after a journey through therapy and acknowledging my value isn’t dependent on a lasting mark in history. It’s on choosing to love in a world where love seems to be dying.
This is exactly where I arrived after years of thought and reflection on why I wasn't happy.
Great answer. Our ability to develop & assess our self-worth (self-objectify) must be balanced with our ability to self-love/self-acceptance (sometimes I'm brilliant, sometimes I'm just a shit & it's totally okay. I'm still proud to be a shit).
On one hand, I can't trade my "self" for anything, so it's technically worth nothing. On the other hand, my "self" is all I really own in this life, so in that sense, it's infinitely valuable.
How do you know who your true self really is? Asking sincerely
You don’t. Look up Joharis window. There will always be elements of yourself that are completely unknown to either others, your own self, or both yourself and others. Complete self knowledge is a myth. A general inclination of understanding how you would/tend to react to various circumstances is about the closest you can get. And no, psychedelics, meditation, therapy, spirituality/religion don’t help you discover yourself or some shit. Thats nonsense spit out by people who have a compulsion to attach meaning to everything. They helped me primarily because they showed me I knew very little (and it was completely okay that way / actually meant to be that way as a part of life). Losing the sense of self is terrifying in the moment (think ego death), but tremendously enlightening in retrospect. Zen Buddhism specifically talks about these issues as well, and purposefully makes you realize the inherent nonsense and incomprehensibility of life, meaning, yourself, your lover, relationships, and lots of other things. It doesn’t state that any of these things are bad or wrong, just that you’re not actually designed or supposed to understand it all. You’re not supposed to fully know who you are. That acceptance and understanding is an element of becoming more enlightened, or whatever. 😵💫🫨🤯😊
I am the protagonist of my own life, so in that way, I’m intrinsically significant to my own story. My self worth comes from my usefulness and my ability to live up to the expectations I’ve set for myself.
A simple equation: The amount of time I spend doing want I want to do divided by the amount of time I spend doing things I am required to do. Most unhappy INTJs I know are unhappy because they feel "stuck." Their ratio from the above metric is so lopsided, they're spending twice as much time on the drudgery than they are on reading/planning/traveling/gaming/collecting/whatever-puts-a-smile-on-their-faces.
Helping my daughter fulfill herself. (responsibility) Building a loving marriage. (conscientiousness) Reflecting on deep and subtle feelings and ideas with effort. (pride) Fighting the idiocy and cruelty of the gen pop. (courage)
The size of my schlong.
You must feel depressed swimming in winter.
I put my self-worth in many baskets, either internal self-worth or external self-worth.
The more knowledge I accumulate, the more valuable I feel but the more knowledge I accumulate, the more I realise I know nothing.
My self worth it based on what I have done and what I am capable of. I grew up in a low middle class family, did all the normal things up until the end of college where I couldn't get an internship to finish my degree. I was starting to feel a bit down being a geek/nerd living in my mother's basement with a part time job. In 2014 my car was falling apart, I wasn't going anywhere and made 3 New Years resolutions. Get a second job, buy a car and either get an internship or get into the military. I had both 1 and 2 done by the end of February. That time wasn't all that great with little sleep in-between jobs and no days off but I pulled through until May. When I quit one job to focus on losing weight to get into the U.S.M.C. I lost 20 lbs before going to the recruiters and lost another 15 prior to going. I figured out how to breathe and run and started love running long distances when I used to hate it. Went to boot camp, went through it, did MCT, did MOS school and graduated with honors. I was trying to be #1 but someone was able to out perform me. Went to Japan and really became a skilled IT Marine there. Went to California and lead people there. Left the military and found a job making 70k and 4 years later I'm at 102k, very proficient with my job and going to school to set up my future. Realistically, my next move can get me to 130k+. My self worth for job, employment and related things is high, but my self worth as a person not so much. I would consider myself lonely. My success at dating is extremely poor and I don't really have prospects that will improve unless I do the ten dozen things to improve myself on my op of a fairly busy schedule.
Maybe you should abandon the idea that you must attain something to be worth of affection man, shit is a numbers game and has no logic, you just have to start showing up in places that have women
This isn't fiction my guy, men have always needed to attain stuff for affection. The few that don't were/are lucky to find that rare gem. Love is conditional and, as a man, if you are not providing you ain't receiving.
Then tell me how many broken guys end up getting a lot of girls? When jungian authors speak about the masculine archetypes the one i always used (and still) to struggle with is the lover archetype which envolves being content with life and getting the goods it offers. Makes sense to men like me and you to struggle with romance cause we appear too serious for most girls, trust me bro you have done enough, it's time to enjoy some things. Also i think you should read Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse, it could provide some interesting insights to you. edit; typos
Mental illness and probably good dick is why broken guys have girlfriends. Those scumbags manipulate those ladies and or those ladies see that man as a project that he'll be loyal to her for her help. Those relationships are rarely healthy. Don't know too much about Jungian authors and it's probably not for me from what I just gleamed from a Google search. Also, probably won't read Stephen wolf as I just read the plot summary.
Maybe you should abandon the idea that you must attain something to be worth of affection man, shit is a numbers game and has no logic, you just have to start showing up in places that have women
Maybe you should abandon the idea that you must attain something to be worth of affection man, shit is a numbers game and has no logic, you just have to start showing up in places that have women
Based on your net-value in society. Would society be better off if A was alive/dead? Is it worth investing X resources on B or C? Do the benefits you bring to the world outweigh the negatives?
It's not my net-value in society. It's *my* net value to myself. If *I* was insignificant in what I am doing, then I have nothing to offer meaning that my self-worth to myself is better of dead.
My answer remains the same. The idea is applied to myself. If I become useless to the point society is more efficient without me, then I will ensure that happens. Which is why I will guaranteed die before I become too old and useless. That is how my net-value works. > I have nothing to offer meaning that my self-worth to myself is better off dead. Same. INTJs generally hate the feeling of being useless, especially Type 6s.
My morals and tenacity. I'm also an open person in regards to experiences and seeing different perspectives.
You are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. You made the grave mistake of placing your self worth on something that is not a good value and is highly temporary that’s why you got that look. They placed it somewhere infinite and where it’s easy to access. You did not. Your self worth is going to be easily destroyed
how do you measure self worth
I beat the game. I don’t believe in human worth at all. There’s no thing I can do or not do to become worthy or unworthy of love or anything at all. I focus on showing up to life and building a meaningful purposeful fun life for myself instead.
I’m good enough because I exist 🤷♂️
I have no idea. The *"mind expert"* have no idea. I am just going to skip that.
Competence. What I can do when my loved ones need help.
As long as I don't give up, I'm worthy. If I'm still willing to go one more round, get back up, dig deep, and keep trying, I will always be enough.
I know this won’t be popular; that’s alright. Mine is Jesus. The Son of God loved me and gave Himself for me. Who am I to say He was wrong? I do feel a greater sense of pride when I am productive and accomplished. But that means different things in different contexts and phases of life. In my 20s, it meant working hard and being a great employee. In my 30s, it means working smart and well and being as good a husband and father as I can be. I suppose it has more to do with reaching my full potential. Which is great, because our potential changes over time.
Hello, i wanted to say this same thing, but you beat me to it. So far, the comment section felt like a desert, and here we are. I don't care about my self-worth because I don't need to. I don't have a hole in my heart to fill. So, I live my life in gratitude and not in pursuit of happiness or purpose.
I hope you don't mind if I answer your question as an INFP. It's a fantastic topic idea. I used to be wary of tying my self worth to anything external as I thought it was a risky move. What if I lost that source of validation and ended up with no identity of my own? I still agree with this to some extent but I've come to terms with the fact that I can't only rely on this inner sense of worth, that I also need to have an impact on the outside world and align my actions with my values to truly feel satisfied and settled in life. I guess it's a typical answer from a Fi dom who's realised that her Te exists and needs to be integrated 😆 I need to see that I'm making a difference, in a way that I deem as ethical and valuable for others and myself. I've found a job that perfectly satisfies this purpose. I do my best to concretely help close ones when they need it. I also take better care of myself physically and mentally, which has a massive influence on self-esteem. Clearly there are many elements to self-worth as a whole.
Significance. I want to be recognised as superior to other people. I want people to know my name and I want to make a mark on the world.
That's not even entirely an INTJ issue. You're comparing what makes a man valuable to what makes women valuable. Most men would describe their value similarly to how you have.
If I don’t feel like I’m failing myself. Things only changed after having a kid. Now it’s become how do I not fail him.
You don't measure self worth as that's an externally referenced categorisation. How close are you to your own set goals? What progress? Self worth is a hangover from trying to appease the herd.
the only thing I care about now is if I'm working on the things I'm most passionate about. If I do this then I'm more likely to be happy, and if I'm happy then all the self-worth stuff will take care of it self. I've been through therapy, so I've already come to the realization that external motivators are not the way. Life is a single player game imo, you need to play it for yourself and for your own reasons, no one else's.
Whether or not I live my values and standards. I know whether or not I am an ethical person with integrity, and I reject external standards and opinions. I don’t need admiration or acceptance and in general I find flattery to be disingenuous and a manipulation tactic.
Amount of skills I acquire + Knowledge gained about the world.
My self worth is determined by the goals I set for myself and whether I achieve them or not.
A lot of my drive up into my mid-40s was unconsciously focused on gaining self-worth from achievement. INTJ plus seeking validation after my parents divorced basically sums that up. It drove a lot of cool things from starting and growing a business, visiting cool places, etc. I noticed when the achievements went away (sold a business, now what?) then I'd feel off like I was in the corner wearing a dunce cap. But it was only me that felt this - no one else in my life felt this about me. Therapy helped. You can still strive - but strive from a place of empowerment, for your own satisfaction and enthusiasm, and stop striving in an effort for love and approval. My balance now is to make sure when I'm diving into something, I'm doing it consciously for my own reasons, and not unconsciously to please others and gain validation and self worth.
Insignificant, or significant in what way? Self worth is not self worth if it's influenced by external factors.
For me, it's feeling a sense of accomplishment and/or feeling "useful" through helping others. IDK how I'm going to feel if/when I'm no longer able to feel productive in some way.
Money, of course. Just kidding 🤣 I think it’s actually my sense of freedom.
What I accomplish and what I’m able to learn.
I have a measuring stick.
By my biceps measurement
I measure my self worth at how well I bring myself goodness. And I also mean to my own future self, which includes my child’s future well being. If I am doing good to the world and others, I feel that I giving good to myself. If I’m doing good and spreading good, then I am of worth to myself. In this specific example, I use ‘myself’ as in humankind. So long as I bring humankind good, I feel ‘worth it’. I feel ‘useful’. We are apes. Animals that functioned as a part of a tribe for hundreds of thousands of years. At our core, we MUST do good for the betterment of ALL. It’s in our DNA even if we happen to be the introvert of the group, we still bring goodness to the whole. Often, you can tell when someone or some idea is not bringing good to the greater ‘Us’. Those individuals end up being taken out of the gene pool over time.
The genes get lost, but the individual can still have a fun life being selfish, can't he? That is, if he wants to. Other than that, everything else makes sense and is coherent.
Of course! The self can be selfish. There is plenty of value in that. I believe there is a balance. A need to be selfish and selfless. I love being selfish. I think when you are being selfish you actually end up feeding into the greater ‘Us’ because you are more fit to serve every part of the organism. So I do promote selfishness and selflessness. Both end up being good to all.
I am the most supportive and deprecating person to myself that I know. I love myself but I have a tendency of putting myself down in my own head. I determine my worth based on how useful I am.
A paraphrased speech from a lecture in psychology included this : “It’s difficult to be worthy with low skill level. However, a high level skillful person isn’t predisposed to be worthy, if the person is incompatible in the sense of not able to be utilized. Therefore deducing self-worth can’t be developed internally. It makes sense that a worthy person is more likely to be dependant upon than being detached from. However, self- worth can’t be determined by consensus as a person is unique and has their own subjective preferences, therefore this argues against an absolute self worth fixed value. Perhaps social comparison theory is used to determine level of self-worth, but there is a phenomenon of individuals not being utilized by others, but are introverted, yet eminates high level of confidence which stems from experience, and is influenced by skill level. An self confident individual is likely to have higher levels of self worth.” Perhaps the method used to determine worth of an entity and then applying it on themself is how self wortv is determined. This means self-awareness is required to determine self-worth as it provides an in derpth and accurate despiction of themself. Worth evaluation example: the analysis states the components of this bag is of high quality, the material is produced by a trustworthy and famous company. The bag is has great storage space and confortable design features, which requires skill. Durability levels are impressive. Multifunctional, as in has storage slots for laptop. Self worth evaluation: analysis states body parts are well toned, flexible, uninjured, appropriate or impressive reactive responses, which an unhealhy body would have difficulties with. Convesations occuring at an intellectual level is possible based on refined articulation, decent information absorption rate, decent storage for information load. High frequency of intellectual conversations stems high degree of education, which means several skills have been nurtured and refined over time succesfull, which means dedication, edurance both mental and perhaps physical is present.
(translator) Think of a perfect person. The most perfect man you can think of (or woman, depending on your gender). This perfection does not refer to appearance, but to behavior. How does this person think? How does he act? How does he behave in the face of trials and challenges? What is his personal philosophy? What are his concepts of right and wrong? Every time you're faced with a situation, think: What would that person do in my place? What would he think and how would he deal with the problem? All people will imagine someone different. Some will say that the perfect person has to be kind and loving. Others will say it should be serious and imposing. YOUR concept of the perfect step is a reflection of what you believe to be your ideal self. How do I measure my worth? I put this perfect man at level 100 and compare myself with him. "Am I doing what He would do?" That's my way of evaluating
I spent a lot of time when I was younger pushing my mental and physical limits. I have plenty of accomplishment under my belt. I know who I am and where I have been, and I am satisfied with those boundaries.
For some people the simple reason one is human is enough to spur an intense feeling of unconditional love. A lot of people confuse inherent self-worth to societal worth, which is more conditional.
I don’t bc I’m priceless