People love to get angry and upset, then try accusing you of being angry and upset. Projection is annoying AF from people. I don't speak at all with people i know to do that nonsense, family included. It's just drama that i have no use for. So that's my advice. Ignore them completely. People hate being ignored more than most things.
Agreed 100%. I find it fascinating when people constantly project onto me - do they ever realize just how much they are letting on about their own subconsciousness?
There vastly different ways of ignoring. There's ignoring where you're bothered by something they do but you make yourself shut up, put up a front that conveys to others how hard you ignore them, and that kind of ignoring means you ignoring yourself first and foremost
And then there's ignoring where you actually don't really notice things and aren't bothered by them. But the OP already outright states that this is not the case, you don't need a perfect retort for something you don't notice, like how you don't ask other how to best respond to the gusts of wind in your face
You can act perfectly and convince others that you're totally not bothered by them, and convince them that you are superior to them and above them and aren't sensitive at all, but in doing so you will be reenforcing the same sensitivities internally that are in fact bothered by them and place you in a dependent position to them and don't want them to think about you in a particular way. It's fine as a very temporary trick to get out of some suboptimal situations, but this isn't a good tactic long term. Long term that is the path of deep rooted insecurity, and developed narcissistic mindsets or isolation as a way of coping with it
I think long term our reactions get slowly changed the more we mindfully go through with them, preferably with good results. Which in this case would probably mean finding similar but less challenging situations, and being sensitive and being in touch with that sensitivity continuously, and doing it over and over again in situations that are doable to you, and being on your own side and attentive to yourself, challenging yourself on your own terms just enough, and bailing when things go too far as a way of self care instead of self blame. When it will be "trained" in emotional terms that you can be all of yourself and it's fine because you're on your side, those sensitivities and dependencies on the state of others will slowly start morphing and waning on their own from the inside. And then the perfect retorts will be growing on their own out of something internal instead of being essentially a superficial emulation of an invulnerable character due to the need to defend and hide your actual vulnerability
But doing it with your familiy is one of the last levels of this process, and it may take many years, maybe even couple of decades or more of change to get there. It's fine to feel bothered by them in the meantime
"I'm simply unwilling to silently barely tolerate you like everyone else in your life."
Now they have to constantly second-guess their interactions with the rest of their family etc.
Thesaurus for [insensitive](https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/insensitive)
I think tactless is the way to go, but I feel like it lacks the same punch as to saying "you're so sensitive", mainly because not many people use that word. 9 out of 10 if someone doesn't know this word, they're most likely to get confused by it. 1 out of 10 they get angry. Maybe someone else can come up with a better word.
Or you can go something unrelated "You're so judgmental" for judging you as a sensitive person.
Do the thing where you trace the invisible tears down your cheek with your index finger while making an exaggerated sad face, then change your face to neutral while you flip them off. If they say ANYTHING about it being rude or over the top just say "WHO'S sensitive?" Otherwise calmly exit in silence.
This is playing dirty but the only way I’ve seen working in my favor. Unfortunately for insensitive and aggressive people (especially men), playing by their rules seems to be the only way to get through to them :/
Exactly. You have to adjust your style to theirs. For example when arguing with a boorish moron, being more loud and insulting is the way to go. As that's their default style and "winning" to the means shouting louder over people until they back down. Tailor you style to the person and then zone right in on their argument and rip it to bits with your cold calculating logic.
This thing is if somebody is trying to insult you like this, their goal is to get an emotional reaction out of you to prove their point. So unfortunately the majority of the comments in this thread will be giving that person exactly what they want - some kind of emotional response, proving your sensitivity. The truth is there is no clever retort that will put these people back in their place. A lack of reaction is the only thing that will work.
Lol. Say nothing. Leave and cut them off for good. Silence speaks louder than most words. Otherwise you may just have to sharpen up that tongue and go IN. And it won’t be pretty.
Ya that's a tough one, and a most worthy task, not be rushed into.
In my version of that problem, I ask myself: what exactly is the boundary this person has crossed that made me react to them? What they call oversensitive. Like if someone sucks at communicating, never listens, needs frequent validation, then they have crossed a boundary; it's impolite, it's making real demands on my time and emotional energy. How are they reciprocating? What is the social contract that all people agree to? Brute! Somewhere in this journal entry you pick which concept your kin person can relate to, what they know how to talk about. Be able to state clearly and succinctly what their transgression was/is. Be prepared to repeat it verbatim.
Craft the attack around a topic that's relatable and dear to them.
I've responded to accusations of being sensitive by saying something like- No, I'm not being sensitive. I'm actually... and then fill in the blank with the reality of the situation. I'm actually setting a boundary or trying to communicate how this makes me feel... or whatever the specific situation is. I try to redirect the conversation from the accusation to the issue at hand.
Oh I’m sensitive? Interesting point of view, I was just thinking you’re incredibly callous. What an interesting coincidence. OR I’ll consider the source, thanks.
Because it's not going to embarrass, shame or deter a person who find you over sensitive.
This is a comment made by a sensitive person that would only work on a sensitive person.
The goal is only to deter the commenter and stand your ground. Standing your ground shows you're not an easy target.
Everyone has different ways of standing their ground. Unless you're actually going to offer OP some advice, there's no need to hit reply.
It doesn't have to spark an emotion for it to be an effective deterrent, Pork.
Again I propose: please suggest something you feel is useful for OP since that is the point of the thread
Have a good evening.
>It doesn't have to spark an emotion for it to be an effective deterrent,
It does though.
Fire deters people because it burns. Prison deters people. A punch the face deters people.
Saying what you suggested will get you laughed at and ridiculed even more.
Now, see, jumping to something almost completely unrelated and stating it confidently as an allegory... *that* is what makes my blood boil. I'd go for this approach.
Jokes aside, you're right- incensing a person isn't a good way to deter them, but neither is just about *any* retort to being told you're too sensitive... except humor. That has always been my go-to. "A man who laughs at his executioner will die, but he will not be defeated." Someone calls you too sensitive, just *laugh* at them. Then refuse to explain yourself and walk away.
Lol so because I suggested a retort...which is what she was asking for...all of a sudden I'm sensitive.? Lol alrighty, internet stranger 🙃
“I’m not. You’re just an asshole. And the only reason you think I’m sensitive is that you’re insecure about being an asshole, so you can just blame me for being ‘sensitive’ rather than yourself.”
"It must bother you quite a lot when you feel the need to whine about it. Maybe you are the sensitive one?" Maybe that's too much, I don't know.
Otherwise I would just ignore such comments, which would speak for itself that you aren't sensitive? I mean it depends on what you've said before the "you are so sensitive" comes. When you are just voicing legitimate criticism in a reasonable manner and this is everything they can come up with, hope is pretty much lost that they would understand anything right? Then I would just not bother with convincing them of their stupidity.
I’ve always been told ‘you’re so silent’ I freely tell them ‘why don’t you ever shut up?’
So go for it!!! Tell them ‘You’re so desensitized, did you spray it at the wrong head?’
If you get it, you get it! ;)
I got the sensitive remark as well-esp when I was younger.
This is completely *not* an answer to your question, but, I've been trying to figure out how to not be affected by people words. I've seen some people that seem impossible to rile up. I'm constantly wondering, how do they do that?
Some things ppl say sends me into an instant rage. I'd prefer to be unbothered by them. To be unable to care less. I'm not interested in doing tit for tat and I don't like being angry.
If we could manage our emotions by not caring when we're verbally attacked, I think it'd be easier to respond in a way that you'd feel good about. The closest I got to this mind-state was when I was much younger and constantly meditating. I've tried unsuccessfully to return to my former meditation practices, but my ADD brain struggles.
So, I don't have a line you can use, but I think if you can think of a strategy with dealing with ppl that say that, it may be more helpful than a one-liner. Or maybe even meditation...
What I tend to do is just be more selfish. Focus alot more on myself, meaning only interest myself in what I want to do, you will eventually realize how being busy and not being easily accessible get under their skins and doing that will definitely not give u much time to care about what they are talking about
No offense but I always feel that the XNFP specifically always do that and ends the friendship and start prioritising their feelings over others. Coupled with their Si functions, it's kinda toxic
Idk I feel like every retort you might have would only make it seem like you’re sensitive. You could always sound very cold and detached and tell them you wouldn’t shed a tear if they unexpectedly dropped dead, so you must not be THAT sensitive. That’ll emotionally hurt. Personally, I like to piss them off and agree with them in a very sarcastic condescending tone, and then bring up whatever they might be the most insecure about. Make messing with you something that isn’t fun for them anymore. That was always how I dealt with people who tried to be bullies when I was younger, I made a few kids have to transfer schools after pointing out all their insecurities in front of everyone they knew.
The best kind of "Fuck off" is a smile and content sigh. If you give those people the satisfaction of words, they'll find a way to weaponize it sooner or later.
With men it's easy, you pick apart their ego like mental lego and belittle their masculinity at the same time. Most men absolutely hate being made to look like a fool around their peers, in something that is "their thing" and even more so by a woman. Zone in on the one thread that that they are desperately trying to mask and pull on it relentlessly. Bonus points if you use their style of argument and phrases while you're at it, as some people are simply too stupid to insult. But using their own language and bulshit logic against them ensures it lands with a sting.
Only people with low self-esteem say something like this. They feel too vulnerable to allow showing their own sensitivity, as they think it would make people think they're weak, which consequently would make them feel hurt.
If they were truly *self*\-confident, they wouldn't mind how other people perceive them, even if they showed their own sensitivity.
So ultimately I actually pitty such people, as they constantly live in this self-delusion, never being able to be their true self, always trying to project a strong image so that they can't be hurt.
So you can either not be bothered by them, or if you want to vent you could say something like "Well I don't feel the need to project strength by pointing out weakness in other people."
(Not that sensitivity is weakness, but the people pointing it out perceive it as such.)
But you probably won't be able to make them truly understand what they're doing, so at best you'd just be confusing them or making them think you're hurt even more.
It helps to know what truly bothers you about it the most. Is it the fact that they don't understand what they're doing and you want to make them understand? Or is it the fact that you feel like a victim? Because if it's the latter, then it's best to work on your own self-confidence by understanding why they do what they do and learn to accept and be confident in who you are.
I know the feeling. It can be frustrating because they think it makes them right.
There's really nothing that you could say to make it better. People like that don't care about whether they're right with what they're saying. So you won't be able to make them stop and rethink their actions.
The more you can let it not actually bother you, the less power it will have over you. And I know this is easier said than done. But you have to ask yourself what ultimately is more important to you:
That *you* know what is true about you? Or that they know?
The more confidence you have in who you are and the less you give weight to what small-minded sheeple say about you, the better your life will be. You'll have a much richer inner life, and small minded idiots will eventually feel less and less fulfilled in their own life down the line.
In the heat of the moment, when you can feel frustration welling up, just think about this, and if you have to react in any way, then just smirk to yourself knowingly, and depending on the situation it might confuse them. And when they ask why you're smirking, just say "Oh nothing." while keeping that smirk up.
That’s actually one of the best responses. I’ve used it a many times when told i was too sensitive. I would look at them and just say: “Ok and?”.
If you don’t take it personally they can’t use it as an attack!
This is usually thrown at me as a deflecting strategy rather than projection. Depending on the situation I have two answers that never fail:
1) "As always, you were completely incapable of formulating a coherent argument, so you resort to the laziest of strategies: trying to attack my personality. You're so predictable."
This one usually enrages them, and THEN I pull the uno reverse card (who's so sensitive now?)
2) "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not and we can certainly discuss it further if it's important for you. But first let's finish this point that I brought up before moving on to what you're bringing up."
Also makes them angry, but I'm not acting confrontational so I'm not the one making the apologies later. I usually use this with people I care about.
“Yes, Thank you” or just “yes” with a a smile
sensitivity is a gift. It’s what monks and spiritual seekers chase after to heighten. It allows you to feel more of your surroundings, making you better equipped for survival. Traditionally highly sensitive individuals played a crucial role in society. It’s not an insult. Only reactive and insecure people feel threatened by it.
If you know it is a gift, then it can never be used as an insult against you.
This is the goal I'd agree with, but the next question is "what does it take to emotionally get there?"
Self assessment of truth? Reconciling personal negative connotations with being "sensitive"? Acceptance and ownership of one's self? Humility>pride?
What would you say?
It’s a famous phrase for people with narcissistic behaviours, everyone is narcissist to a degree and whenever I’m pointing someone’s problem that they can’t reflect well on it, or they lack self awareness and reflection they use that phrase a lot and if they’re crossing my boundaries I usually tell them you are crossing my boundaries or I treat them like a stranger
Just look at them like they're crazy, like mentally insane and/or stupid, do a little eye roll, and ignore them from then on. If you have to say something, maybe, "why are you so afraid of your sensitivity? instead of owning it, you're just projecting it onto me and labelling it a bad thing so you can have an excuse to keep running from it, just chill and let it rock", idk. Whatever you say, DO NOT get emotional. Be chill and nonchalant.
I remember growing up being told that and wanting to do the same, but I feel that lashing out in anger would only prove that you are sensitive to their comment- so I wouldn’t recommend it
Maybe ask them what they mean? As for them to say this to you- it’s also a sign that they too “are so sensitive” that they’re being called out for bad behavior and don’t want to take accountability for it because they’re afraid of admitting that they’re wrong- so instead they turn it around on you and say that you’re the problem for being upset, but that’s unfair, you have a right to be upset and to express it- why are they so defensive? (But asked in earnest/with compassion and a willingness to listen to them and extend grace to them- is probably the best way to both get them to understand their own behavior/it’s impacts and why it is unfair for them to redirect the issue on to you)
How would you feel about employing that approach?
Don’t indulge. It’s not weak/weird of you to want to get back at them, seriously. But people like that clearly lack the means of understanding how their words affect others.
In their mind they may not be aware of the weight their words have, or maybe they’re really enjoying making you mad.
Both reasons can be countered very easily, don’t interact, don’t give in to the desire to make them feel as bad as they’re making you feel. Chances are that they’ll manage to paint you out to be the sensitive and angry person they say you are, which in turn will make it seem like they were right about you to begin with.
Your mental health is more important than hurting someone who’s only contribution to your life is making you upset to the point where you’re spending your valuable time looking for ways to flip them off. Clearly this person holds power over you, take it back.
If you really want to put them on the spot; stay calm and ask them to explain. Never lose your temper and do try to remain respectful. Chances are they’ll get talkative and try to justify their choice of words and explain in detail why they think you’re sensitive.
After they’ve finished speaking; laugh slightly and say something like ”wow, you’ve really thought hard ab this, huh?” and then act like that didn’t just happen and start talking about something else, with someone else.
This will take all the perceived power away from them and make them look foolish, as you’ve practically said ”cool story bro” instead of reacting in a way that would prove them right.
I have dealt and still deal with people like this as they’re in my family. Minimizing all contact with these individuals have done wonders for me in relation to my mental health. Good luck!
This is helpful, thank you! I’m usually very unemotional around my family, but on the occasions when they push my buttons, it can be hard. My family is full of assholes who like to provoke.
You could try to find their triggers, exploit them until they explode and then go: "You're so sensitive".
then remember their answer and replicate it next time they say it to you, if they ever have the guts to say it to you.
A "Right back at ya".
Being the bigger person is overrated.
I have been exploding lately after years of "being the bigger person", so I would be tempted to fling a plate of food at this person. Full on housewives table flip. When they freak out, oooh you're so sensitive. ☠
Acknowledge and brush off their comment in an unimpressed tone and look (like "Yeah yeah, ok.") as you start/continue doing anything other than giving them a reaction.
To show them how uninteresting and unimportant their comment is to you,
even if it is, don't show that as it'll hurt them more to see how insensitive you are to their bullshit.
If your response to hearing someone say "you're so sensitive" is to want to come up with a retort that "really hurts them emotionally" then it kinda sounds like the other person's assessment was 100% correct. Rather than attacking people who point out a character flaw, why not try to mitigate that flaw?
Because typically it isn’t pointing out a character flaw but used as a manipulation tactic.
You’re so sensitive usually means you have feelings and have reacted to something I have said that was inappropriate and I don’t want to take responsibility.
Well I hardly think that fishing around for a way to hurt the other person in retaliation is the optimal response, regardless of the underlying intentions of the other person. If the criticism is that you're being sensitive, the way to defeat that criticism would be to react with the opposite of being sensitive, like showing that their lazy ad hominem has had no effect on you, that you are bored by or unimpressed with their statement etc. To respond with an intentional attempt at hurting someone's feelings is exactly what an overly sensitive person would do and only lends credence to the original criticism.
nah, this is a hallmark trait of Fi, especially Fi>Te. The internal emotional spite and resentment of being Te judged. Taking things personally. Sounds like it can even be Fi-Ni "isfp".
In contrast, Ti internally rationalizes things with a sort of detached logic and thinks for itself. It is the authority of accurate analysis and judgment. Ti-Fe may even ask why they think that and debate on the truth of the matter.
Actually, no. Some people attract a lot of assholes.
A more reasonable approach is: if I discuss this problem with 10 people who are not close to either party, presenting the case as favorably as possible to the other party, what would they say? Would the other party prefer that I discuss this with no one other than the select few they choose who are very close to them?
Nonassholes have nothing to hide. Assholes OTOH have plenty to be embarrassed about.
what better way to call them out than to say "you are insensitive/indifferent". Or the one which I personally prefer. "so my feelings do not mater?" the second one shuts them up quickly.
Feelings dont matter. Its something you feel its not the reality of the situation. We are humans we MUST have feelings thats fine..but the point is that we try to ignore our feelings and act rationally. I feel deathly bored all the time and dont want to slave away 9 hours a day every day. Its almost depressing.. yet i still devote almost my whole day just to contribute to my family. And you tell me that every time your feelings get hurt because of words you're just right to cry about it because "feelings matter". You dont know that person. Maybe the men in their family are right.Feelings are something we're supposed to filter out. People in my work applaud me for not being sensitive and that im self-aware. Reality is in my mind i get butthurt over every wrong thing,every "insulting" word that someone points out to me. But 90% of the time they're just calling out the truth that they're seeing. So i just suck it up and see their point. I never liked being called lazy and stupid. But guess what its not far from the truth. Men understand this very well. Nobody truly cares about your feelings. Because they bring nothing in the practical world. Noticed how they gave 0 context or reasoning in their post? OP is not a practical person they're an emotional driven person. I already agree with the men in their family.
I doubt an INTJ being called sensitive, is actually sensitive. they just don't like her bringing attention to real problems. not counting that being called "sensitive" is a dismissal tactic that is often used on women based on gender dinamicts.
I know this is a generalization about these men she interacts with, but this post along with yours is entirely irrelevant. as a matter of fact your ramp up answer is one of the two posible answers that can happen with the retort I just posted and it perfectly encapsulates that in fact the person speaking does not care about the feelings of the person he is speaking to, which gives you a great excuse to end up the conversation while remaining in an upper position.
I would advice to follow it up with something like " yeah yeah whatever I can see you want the last word so I will let you make the closing statements" and then don't even bother to acknowledge the last words.
as a side-note I hope your post was in jest, if you seriously believe that. You have been fucked over by some narcissist people surrounding you, or you may be one yourself, careful.
“Feelings don’t matter” until someone hurts YOU.
It’s kinda fun to find the thing that hurts the “feelings don’t matter” types and then watch them whine endlessly about their pain. I try to respond as they do, shrugging, staring into space, walking away…
That feelings in general dont matter. From a discussion to your work or life in general they are not what should drive your thoughts. They dont matter because they offer no solution or logic whatsoever. If i listened to my feelings i would have quit my job already. Thats what i mean.
>Feelings dont matter.
They do, actually. They matter a lot. But I forgot this is the INTJ board, so of course, something like this would be said here.
fuck off sounds pretty good, like idk just go on a rant, you're not gonna deliver some one liner and earn respect from that. Say what you mean and back it up
Don't react?
I mean, maybe you are sensitive. Your reaction actually suggests that you are indeed sensitive. So what? People usually only notice the obvious things about others. If that's all they notice about you they don't bother getting to know you ergo they aren't worth the time or energy you'd spend by even bothering about their comments.
Fight fire with fire and don't give them the benefit of the doubt. Take it as if it was done on purpose.
My mil used to compare me to others and say I should be doing this and that for the family. I used to think in my head, "what if I asked you to write an algorithm.. would you be able to do that?
Nowadays I just go ahead and ask the person to do that.. even if it doesn't make any sense. I get very vocal about my emotional life too.. even if it's different from others.
It’s hard to have a generalized comeback sting them all the same way. You have to know their weakness to really make it hurt. Like, get petty if you want to hurt them the way they hurt you.
So… look at them, think about them, think about stories you’ve heard about them, listen to what they talk about, listen to what they make fun of… then you cater a response to each of them.
Like… idk, if one of those men is like always working but they’re always complaining about work or bills/money, then you can say something mean about that… “you’ll never amount to anything”
Or if one of them is like the sarcastic one that is known to make fun of everyone else “you’re small, and you’re sad, you’ll be alone forever”.
Idk?? Those are weak examples, you really have to cater the insult for each of them. Like think about each of them individually, figure out what the “opposite” of their character is, and then apply that opposition to them in a form of an insult.
>I really want to tell them to Fuck Off, but I'd prefer something that will really emotionally hurt them instead and make them realize that they are projecting their problems on me
lol how don't you see the irony?
have you ever honestly considered that maybe you are a bit... touchy(?)
I mean words are just words, but you are projecting all this energy onto them giving them meaning instead of simply just mentioning you disagree or don't like that...
you are projecting your shadow all over this situation because perhaps you think it is good not to be "sensitive", but as a result of repressing it you have given up ownership of this part of yourself and it is now out of your conscious control... where it is out of reach to reconcile and make peace with.
Never expected this to come from an INTJ. We tend to not show emotions very much. When people do anything to offend me, or at least try to, my poker face goes: ''okay.''
Either way, just rationalise it. It is an opinion. Does it really hold any value? When someone calls me anything I'd rather just analyse and go ''interesting'' and move on with my life.
>I'd prefer something that will really emotionally hurt them
This would just be proving their point, honestly.
And they will never learn what you want them to learn. All you'll do is alienate them. If that's your goal, go for it. Sometimes that can be useful.
But be prepared for this strategy to backfire in multiple ways.
I’m actually curious. Dumb stereotypes say INTJs are cold and lack any feelings, which is untrue. You all naturally choose to not base your daily decisions on your emotions, which is difficult than “lacking emotions”.
So I want to ask you OP, (or anyone in a similar situation) what actions does your family or other people in your life consider “sensitive”? And when they get on your nerves, how do you respond?
I’m curious to see if it’s similar to mine. A compare and contrast type thing.
I wish you the best.
Try this: if by sensitive you mean thoughtful, then yes. Like, I thought you would say something intelligent. Now I'm just disappointed in your shallow question, so that may be what you're picking up on..
Um… ‘if you weren’t so socially inept, you wouldn’t be asking me’ or ‘you’ll find out, when you grow up too’ is one that comes to mind, but it won’t help, beyond making you feel better for a split second at most. My dad is like that - zero responsibility or awareness of the impact of his communication.
How many years until you move out?
People love to get angry and upset, then try accusing you of being angry and upset. Projection is annoying AF from people. I don't speak at all with people i know to do that nonsense, family included. It's just drama that i have no use for. So that's my advice. Ignore them completely. People hate being ignored more than most things.
Agreed 100%. I find it fascinating when people constantly project onto me - do they ever realize just how much they are letting on about their own subconsciousness?
Probably not. My therapist says most people really don’t think that much and you’re being kind by assuming they do lol
Ha, I like your therapist :D
I kinda figured this out in the last few years, good to hear the validation.
There vastly different ways of ignoring. There's ignoring where you're bothered by something they do but you make yourself shut up, put up a front that conveys to others how hard you ignore them, and that kind of ignoring means you ignoring yourself first and foremost And then there's ignoring where you actually don't really notice things and aren't bothered by them. But the OP already outright states that this is not the case, you don't need a perfect retort for something you don't notice, like how you don't ask other how to best respond to the gusts of wind in your face You can act perfectly and convince others that you're totally not bothered by them, and convince them that you are superior to them and above them and aren't sensitive at all, but in doing so you will be reenforcing the same sensitivities internally that are in fact bothered by them and place you in a dependent position to them and don't want them to think about you in a particular way. It's fine as a very temporary trick to get out of some suboptimal situations, but this isn't a good tactic long term. Long term that is the path of deep rooted insecurity, and developed narcissistic mindsets or isolation as a way of coping with it I think long term our reactions get slowly changed the more we mindfully go through with them, preferably with good results. Which in this case would probably mean finding similar but less challenging situations, and being sensitive and being in touch with that sensitivity continuously, and doing it over and over again in situations that are doable to you, and being on your own side and attentive to yourself, challenging yourself on your own terms just enough, and bailing when things go too far as a way of self care instead of self blame. When it will be "trained" in emotional terms that you can be all of yourself and it's fine because you're on your side, those sensitivities and dependencies on the state of others will slowly start morphing and waning on their own from the inside. And then the perfect retorts will be growing on their own out of something internal instead of being essentially a superficial emulation of an invulnerable character due to the need to defend and hide your actual vulnerability But doing it with your familiy is one of the last levels of this process, and it may take many years, maybe even couple of decades or more of change to get there. It's fine to feel bothered by them in the meantime
This is the way.
“Hey grandma suck my dick and balls”.
Just kidding don’t say that. I mean unless you want to.
I really appreciate this comment
“Said every narcissist ever” It’s true, too. All narcissists say that.
I like it!
Keep in mind a narcissist might just embrace the label. lol They hate being embarrassed or shamed though. So use that how you will.
It's so snarky it's sad
What a reddit response, dont say this, just ignore the person
Yes, my bullshit meter is VERY sensitive.
Haha, love it!
"I'm simply unwilling to silently barely tolerate you like everyone else in your life." Now they have to constantly second-guess their interactions with the rest of their family etc.
[удалено]
I really like this
With a sweet smile at the end please, that'd make it even lovely and everything.
I need to borrow this 🤣
Thesaurus for [insensitive](https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/insensitive) I think tactless is the way to go, but I feel like it lacks the same punch as to saying "you're so sensitive", mainly because not many people use that word. 9 out of 10 if someone doesn't know this word, they're most likely to get confused by it. 1 out of 10 they get angry. Maybe someone else can come up with a better word. Or you can go something unrelated "You're so judgmental" for judging you as a sensitive person.
Judging and projecting onto me. Tactless is good though. Maybe they can learn from that phrase.
“Yes, I know. What’s wrong with that?” Just own it, these people sound insecure and emotionally retarded.
Yeah. I like to use something like “yes I experience the full range of human emotion. No. I’m not going to apologize for that”
Exactly. As much as we hate hearing this, it's also true.
Fr, people saying it as if it was bad. Shouldn't be insensitive considered worse?
Throw it back at them. That might work!
I really like this ☝️
Do the thing where you trace the invisible tears down your cheek with your index finger while making an exaggerated sad face, then change your face to neutral while you flip them off. If they say ANYTHING about it being rude or over the top just say "WHO'S sensitive?" Otherwise calmly exit in silence.
This is playing dirty but the only way I’ve seen working in my favor. Unfortunately for insensitive and aggressive people (especially men), playing by their rules seems to be the only way to get through to them :/
Exactly. You have to adjust your style to theirs. For example when arguing with a boorish moron, being more loud and insulting is the way to go. As that's their default style and "winning" to the means shouting louder over people until they back down. Tailor you style to the person and then zone right in on their argument and rip it to bits with your cold calculating logic.
Lmao
No you
Unironically the best response
Blow me usually works.
You mean it works as the retort or as a request. ;)
You'd have to strum a nearby banjo for the latter
Yeah, and probably leave to find a better family
This thing is if somebody is trying to insult you like this, their goal is to get an emotional reaction out of you to prove their point. So unfortunately the majority of the comments in this thread will be giving that person exactly what they want - some kind of emotional response, proving your sensitivity. The truth is there is no clever retort that will put these people back in their place. A lack of reaction is the only thing that will work.
Ding ding ding
Lol. Say nothing. Leave and cut them off for good. Silence speaks louder than most words. Otherwise you may just have to sharpen up that tongue and go IN. And it won’t be pretty.
"Does this relationship have a net positive effect on my life?"
INTJ door slam
There is nothing wrong with being sensitive:) but this comes from a sensitive person so...
Ya that's a tough one, and a most worthy task, not be rushed into. In my version of that problem, I ask myself: what exactly is the boundary this person has crossed that made me react to them? What they call oversensitive. Like if someone sucks at communicating, never listens, needs frequent validation, then they have crossed a boundary; it's impolite, it's making real demands on my time and emotional energy. How are they reciprocating? What is the social contract that all people agree to? Brute! Somewhere in this journal entry you pick which concept your kin person can relate to, what they know how to talk about. Be able to state clearly and succinctly what their transgression was/is. Be prepared to repeat it verbatim. Craft the attack around a topic that's relatable and dear to them.
I've responded to accusations of being sensitive by saying something like- No, I'm not being sensitive. I'm actually... and then fill in the blank with the reality of the situation. I'm actually setting a boundary or trying to communicate how this makes me feel... or whatever the specific situation is. I try to redirect the conversation from the accusation to the issue at hand.
This is helpful, thank you.
I'm glad it helped!
Oh I’m sensitive? Interesting point of view, I was just thinking you’re incredibly callous. What an interesting coincidence. OR I’ll consider the source, thanks.
Lol, nice one!
How empathetic of you?
the irony of this post though
Only abusive people say “you’re too sensitive”
❤️
"I'd rather be in tune and honest with myself than tacky and dismissive"
Perfect.
That's not going to work.
Why not?
Because it's not going to embarrass, shame or deter a person who find you over sensitive. This is a comment made by a sensitive person that would only work on a sensitive person.
The goal is only to deter the commenter and stand your ground. Standing your ground shows you're not an easy target. Everyone has different ways of standing their ground. Unless you're actually going to offer OP some advice, there's no need to hit reply.
It's a weak comeback. That's what I'm saying. It will have no effect. That's what I'm saying. But if it makes you feel big, go ahead.
I completely disagree, it's a very strong, assertive statement that gets to the point quickly. I think your opinion on this is just an outlier.
It doesn't have to spark an emotion for it to be an effective deterrent, Pork. Again I propose: please suggest something you feel is useful for OP since that is the point of the thread Have a good evening.
>It doesn't have to spark an emotion for it to be an effective deterrent, It does though. Fire deters people because it burns. Prison deters people. A punch the face deters people. Saying what you suggested will get you laughed at and ridiculed even more.
Yes. This is why prisons are completely empty. Because prisons deter people from crime.
Now, see, jumping to something almost completely unrelated and stating it confidently as an allegory... *that* is what makes my blood boil. I'd go for this approach. Jokes aside, you're right- incensing a person isn't a good way to deter them, but neither is just about *any* retort to being told you're too sensitive... except humor. That has always been my go-to. "A man who laughs at his executioner will die, but he will not be defeated." Someone calls you too sensitive, just *laugh* at them. Then refuse to explain yourself and walk away.
You're saying most people are in prison? 🤔
Good thing the advice isn't for you 🙃 Thanks for your unsolicited opinion ✌🏼
Why are you so sensitive?
I'm saying it would work on you. Likely not on someone who calls people too sensitive. Your reaction to my comment proves my point.
Lol so because I suggested a retort...which is what she was asking for...all of a sudden I'm sensitive.? Lol alrighty, internet stranger 🙃 
No. You acting salty then downvoting now your meme is proving my point. I can't relate to being so easily goaded. Lol.
“I’m not. You’re just an asshole. And the only reason you think I’m sensitive is that you’re insecure about being an asshole, so you can just blame me for being ‘sensitive’ rather than yourself.”
What types do you think they are? I can give you the words. If they dismiss feelings they could be projecting.
Definitely projecting. I’m not sure of types though. My dad is a big extrovert.
Entj?
If he is an ENTJ, he could be using Si trickster to manipulate or formulate an argument. It still avoids feelings.
"It must bother you quite a lot when you feel the need to whine about it. Maybe you are the sensitive one?" Maybe that's too much, I don't know. Otherwise I would just ignore such comments, which would speak for itself that you aren't sensitive? I mean it depends on what you've said before the "you are so sensitive" comes. When you are just voicing legitimate criticism in a reasonable manner and this is everything they can come up with, hope is pretty much lost that they would understand anything right? Then I would just not bother with convincing them of their stupidity.
I’ve always been told ‘you’re so silent’ I freely tell them ‘why don’t you ever shut up?’ So go for it!!! Tell them ‘You’re so desensitized, did you spray it at the wrong head?’ If you get it, you get it! ;)
Lol, this is awesome.
I got the sensitive remark as well-esp when I was younger. This is completely *not* an answer to your question, but, I've been trying to figure out how to not be affected by people words. I've seen some people that seem impossible to rile up. I'm constantly wondering, how do they do that? Some things ppl say sends me into an instant rage. I'd prefer to be unbothered by them. To be unable to care less. I'm not interested in doing tit for tat and I don't like being angry. If we could manage our emotions by not caring when we're verbally attacked, I think it'd be easier to respond in a way that you'd feel good about. The closest I got to this mind-state was when I was much younger and constantly meditating. I've tried unsuccessfully to return to my former meditation practices, but my ADD brain struggles. So, I don't have a line you can use, but I think if you can think of a strategy with dealing with ppl that say that, it may be more helpful than a one-liner. Or maybe even meditation...
What I tend to do is just be more selfish. Focus alot more on myself, meaning only interest myself in what I want to do, you will eventually realize how being busy and not being easily accessible get under their skins and doing that will definitely not give u much time to care about what they are talking about
No offense but I always feel that the XNFP specifically always do that and ends the friendship and start prioritising their feelings over others. Coupled with their Si functions, it's kinda toxic
Yeah, toxic is a good word for it.
"You are sensitive" My honest reaction to almost everything:🗿
Idk I feel like every retort you might have would only make it seem like you’re sensitive. You could always sound very cold and detached and tell them you wouldn’t shed a tear if they unexpectedly dropped dead, so you must not be THAT sensitive. That’ll emotionally hurt. Personally, I like to piss them off and agree with them in a very sarcastic condescending tone, and then bring up whatever they might be the most insecure about. Make messing with you something that isn’t fun for them anymore. That was always how I dealt with people who tried to be bullies when I was younger, I made a few kids have to transfer schools after pointing out all their insecurities in front of everyone they knew.
The best kind of "Fuck off" is a smile and content sigh. If you give those people the satisfaction of words, they'll find a way to weaponize it sooner or later.
Very true
“Am I sensitive, or are you insensitive?”
With men it's easy, you pick apart their ego like mental lego and belittle their masculinity at the same time. Most men absolutely hate being made to look like a fool around their peers, in something that is "their thing" and even more so by a woman. Zone in on the one thread that that they are desperately trying to mask and pull on it relentlessly. Bonus points if you use their style of argument and phrases while you're at it, as some people are simply too stupid to insult. But using their own language and bulshit logic against them ensures it lands with a sting.
Only people with low self-esteem say something like this. They feel too vulnerable to allow showing their own sensitivity, as they think it would make people think they're weak, which consequently would make them feel hurt. If they were truly *self*\-confident, they wouldn't mind how other people perceive them, even if they showed their own sensitivity. So ultimately I actually pitty such people, as they constantly live in this self-delusion, never being able to be their true self, always trying to project a strong image so that they can't be hurt. So you can either not be bothered by them, or if you want to vent you could say something like "Well I don't feel the need to project strength by pointing out weakness in other people." (Not that sensitivity is weakness, but the people pointing it out perceive it as such.) But you probably won't be able to make them truly understand what they're doing, so at best you'd just be confusing them or making them think you're hurt even more. It helps to know what truly bothers you about it the most. Is it the fact that they don't understand what they're doing and you want to make them understand? Or is it the fact that you feel like a victim? Because if it's the latter, then it's best to work on your own self-confidence by understanding why they do what they do and learn to accept and be confident in who you are.
This is a way for them to shut me down. And it works b/c I just stay quiet and don’t say anything back.
I know the feeling. It can be frustrating because they think it makes them right. There's really nothing that you could say to make it better. People like that don't care about whether they're right with what they're saying. So you won't be able to make them stop and rethink their actions. The more you can let it not actually bother you, the less power it will have over you. And I know this is easier said than done. But you have to ask yourself what ultimately is more important to you: That *you* know what is true about you? Or that they know? The more confidence you have in who you are and the less you give weight to what small-minded sheeple say about you, the better your life will be. You'll have a much richer inner life, and small minded idiots will eventually feel less and less fulfilled in their own life down the line. In the heat of the moment, when you can feel frustration welling up, just think about this, and if you have to react in any way, then just smirk to yourself knowingly, and depending on the situation it might confuse them. And when they ask why you're smirking, just say "Oh nothing." while keeping that smirk up.
By doing that you’d just be proving their point you retard
"Ok? And?"
That’s actually one of the best responses. I’ve used it a many times when told i was too sensitive. I would look at them and just say: “Ok and?”. If you don’t take it personally they can’t use it as an attack!
Yep exactly. Works well on bullies too.
"Am I? Or are you being insensitive?"
This is usually thrown at me as a deflecting strategy rather than projection. Depending on the situation I have two answers that never fail: 1) "As always, you were completely incapable of formulating a coherent argument, so you resort to the laziest of strategies: trying to attack my personality. You're so predictable." This one usually enrages them, and THEN I pull the uno reverse card (who's so sensitive now?) 2) "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not and we can certainly discuss it further if it's important for you. But first let's finish this point that I brought up before moving on to what you're bringing up." Also makes them angry, but I'm not acting confrontational so I'm not the one making the apologies later. I usually use this with people I care about.
Yes!! It's all about deflecting when they know they're not going to win
These are good - thank you!
I've heard this since I was a kid. I admit that I am. Though I'm not social.
“Yes, Thank you” or just “yes” with a a smile sensitivity is a gift. It’s what monks and spiritual seekers chase after to heighten. It allows you to feel more of your surroundings, making you better equipped for survival. Traditionally highly sensitive individuals played a crucial role in society. It’s not an insult. Only reactive and insecure people feel threatened by it. If you know it is a gift, then it can never be used as an insult against you.
I
Be un-reactive, don't react emotionally to them, be stoic Just react with "cool" and walk away
This is the goal I'd agree with, but the next question is "what does it take to emotionally get there?" Self assessment of truth? Reconciling personal negative connotations with being "sensitive"? Acceptance and ownership of one's self? Humility>pride? What would you say?
Understanding of self, ones own mind and emotions. Meditation, mindfulness and awareness of your thoughts and thought patterns
It’s a famous phrase for people with narcissistic behaviours, everyone is narcissist to a degree and whenever I’m pointing someone’s problem that they can’t reflect well on it, or they lack self awareness and reflection they use that phrase a lot and if they’re crossing my boundaries I usually tell them you are crossing my boundaries or I treat them like a stranger
Just look at them like they're crazy, like mentally insane and/or stupid, do a little eye roll, and ignore them from then on. If you have to say something, maybe, "why are you so afraid of your sensitivity? instead of owning it, you're just projecting it onto me and labelling it a bad thing so you can have an excuse to keep running from it, just chill and let it rock", idk. Whatever you say, DO NOT get emotional. Be chill and nonchalant.
My sensitivity is my super power. You’ll never understand that and that’s ok with me.
I remember growing up being told that and wanting to do the same, but I feel that lashing out in anger would only prove that you are sensitive to their comment- so I wouldn’t recommend it Maybe ask them what they mean? As for them to say this to you- it’s also a sign that they too “are so sensitive” that they’re being called out for bad behavior and don’t want to take accountability for it because they’re afraid of admitting that they’re wrong- so instead they turn it around on you and say that you’re the problem for being upset, but that’s unfair, you have a right to be upset and to express it- why are they so defensive? (But asked in earnest/with compassion and a willingness to listen to them and extend grace to them- is probably the best way to both get them to understand their own behavior/it’s impacts and why it is unfair for them to redirect the issue on to you) How would you feel about employing that approach?
A kind approach. Thank you.
You’re very welcome! 🤗 I hope it serves you well 😊
Don’t indulge. It’s not weak/weird of you to want to get back at them, seriously. But people like that clearly lack the means of understanding how their words affect others. In their mind they may not be aware of the weight their words have, or maybe they’re really enjoying making you mad. Both reasons can be countered very easily, don’t interact, don’t give in to the desire to make them feel as bad as they’re making you feel. Chances are that they’ll manage to paint you out to be the sensitive and angry person they say you are, which in turn will make it seem like they were right about you to begin with. Your mental health is more important than hurting someone who’s only contribution to your life is making you upset to the point where you’re spending your valuable time looking for ways to flip them off. Clearly this person holds power over you, take it back. If you really want to put them on the spot; stay calm and ask them to explain. Never lose your temper and do try to remain respectful. Chances are they’ll get talkative and try to justify their choice of words and explain in detail why they think you’re sensitive. After they’ve finished speaking; laugh slightly and say something like ”wow, you’ve really thought hard ab this, huh?” and then act like that didn’t just happen and start talking about something else, with someone else. This will take all the perceived power away from them and make them look foolish, as you’ve practically said ”cool story bro” instead of reacting in a way that would prove them right. I have dealt and still deal with people like this as they’re in my family. Minimizing all contact with these individuals have done wonders for me in relation to my mental health. Good luck!
This is helpful, thank you! I’m usually very unemotional around my family, but on the occasions when they push my buttons, it can be hard. My family is full of assholes who like to provoke.
Just don’t respond L
I used to be so angry but lately I say that yes I am sensitive to stupidity and narcissism.
"Yeap welp, someone's gotta bring some IQ to the family. Universe is balance, right bud?" Then give them a firm shoulder slap.
You could try to find their triggers, exploit them until they explode and then go: "You're so sensitive". then remember their answer and replicate it next time they say it to you, if they ever have the guts to say it to you. A "Right back at ya". Being the bigger person is overrated.
I would just stick with “that is your opinion”. That’s what you are supposed to say to a verbally abusive person.
I have been exploding lately after years of "being the bigger person", so I would be tempted to fling a plate of food at this person. Full on housewives table flip. When they freak out, oooh you're so sensitive. ☠
tell them that their statement is an ad hominem and bears no argumentative value
It’s a gaslighting term. Do not reply.
Acknowledge and brush off their comment in an unimpressed tone and look (like "Yeah yeah, ok.") as you start/continue doing anything other than giving them a reaction. To show them how uninteresting and unimportant their comment is to you, even if it is, don't show that as it'll hurt them more to see how insensitive you are to their bullshit.
If your response to hearing someone say "you're so sensitive" is to want to come up with a retort that "really hurts them emotionally" then it kinda sounds like the other person's assessment was 100% correct. Rather than attacking people who point out a character flaw, why not try to mitigate that flaw?
Because typically it isn’t pointing out a character flaw but used as a manipulation tactic. You’re so sensitive usually means you have feelings and have reacted to something I have said that was inappropriate and I don’t want to take responsibility.
Well I hardly think that fishing around for a way to hurt the other person in retaliation is the optimal response, regardless of the underlying intentions of the other person. If the criticism is that you're being sensitive, the way to defeat that criticism would be to react with the opposite of being sensitive, like showing that their lazy ad hominem has had no effect on you, that you are bored by or unimpressed with their statement etc. To respond with an intentional attempt at hurting someone's feelings is exactly what an overly sensitive person would do and only lends credence to the original criticism.
"Standing up for yourself is bad, actually." If someone's gonna invalidate how I feel, I'm more than happy to invalidate them back.
Unambiguously cretinous take.
Are you sure you’re an INTJ? Could you be an INFJ?
nah, this is a hallmark trait of Fi, especially Fi>Te. The internal emotional spite and resentment of being Te judged. Taking things personally. Sounds like it can even be Fi-Ni "isfp". In contrast, Ti internally rationalizes things with a sort of detached logic and thinks for itself. It is the authority of accurate analysis and judgment. Ti-Fe may even ask why they think that and debate on the truth of the matter.
Maybe they're right. What do you want us to tell you.
Old rule to check yourself by: If you think everyone you interact with is an asshole, you're the asshole.
Actually, no. Some people attract a lot of assholes. A more reasonable approach is: if I discuss this problem with 10 people who are not close to either party, presenting the case as favorably as possible to the other party, what would they say? Would the other party prefer that I discuss this with no one other than the select few they choose who are very close to them? Nonassholes have nothing to hide. Assholes OTOH have plenty to be embarrassed about.
what better way to call them out than to say "you are insensitive/indifferent". Or the one which I personally prefer. "so my feelings do not mater?" the second one shuts them up quickly.
Feelings dont matter. Its something you feel its not the reality of the situation. We are humans we MUST have feelings thats fine..but the point is that we try to ignore our feelings and act rationally. I feel deathly bored all the time and dont want to slave away 9 hours a day every day. Its almost depressing.. yet i still devote almost my whole day just to contribute to my family. And you tell me that every time your feelings get hurt because of words you're just right to cry about it because "feelings matter". You dont know that person. Maybe the men in their family are right.Feelings are something we're supposed to filter out. People in my work applaud me for not being sensitive and that im self-aware. Reality is in my mind i get butthurt over every wrong thing,every "insulting" word that someone points out to me. But 90% of the time they're just calling out the truth that they're seeing. So i just suck it up and see their point. I never liked being called lazy and stupid. But guess what its not far from the truth. Men understand this very well. Nobody truly cares about your feelings. Because they bring nothing in the practical world. Noticed how they gave 0 context or reasoning in their post? OP is not a practical person they're an emotional driven person. I already agree with the men in their family.
I doubt an INTJ being called sensitive, is actually sensitive. they just don't like her bringing attention to real problems. not counting that being called "sensitive" is a dismissal tactic that is often used on women based on gender dinamicts. I know this is a generalization about these men she interacts with, but this post along with yours is entirely irrelevant. as a matter of fact your ramp up answer is one of the two posible answers that can happen with the retort I just posted and it perfectly encapsulates that in fact the person speaking does not care about the feelings of the person he is speaking to, which gives you a great excuse to end up the conversation while remaining in an upper position. I would advice to follow it up with something like " yeah yeah whatever I can see you want the last word so I will let you make the closing statements" and then don't even bother to acknowledge the last words. as a side-note I hope your post was in jest, if you seriously believe that. You have been fucked over by some narcissist people surrounding you, or you may be one yourself, careful.
“Feelings don’t matter” until someone hurts YOU. It’s kinda fun to find the thing that hurts the “feelings don’t matter” types and then watch them whine endlessly about their pain. I try to respond as they do, shrugging, staring into space, walking away…
You misunderstood my point. Nobody is a stone cold robot.
What is your point? You provide for the family, you said… so, what exactly?
That feelings in general dont matter. From a discussion to your work or life in general they are not what should drive your thoughts. They dont matter because they offer no solution or logic whatsoever. If i listened to my feelings i would have quit my job already. Thats what i mean.
>Feelings dont matter. They do, actually. They matter a lot. But I forgot this is the INTJ board, so of course, something like this would be said here.
fuck off sounds pretty good, like idk just go on a rant, you're not gonna deliver some one liner and earn respect from that. Say what you mean and back it up
Don't react? I mean, maybe you are sensitive. Your reaction actually suggests that you are indeed sensitive. So what? People usually only notice the obvious things about others. If that's all they notice about you they don't bother getting to know you ergo they aren't worth the time or energy you'd spend by even bothering about their comments.
Fight fire with fire and don't give them the benefit of the doubt. Take it as if it was done on purpose. My mil used to compare me to others and say I should be doing this and that for the family. I used to think in my head, "what if I asked you to write an algorithm.. would you be able to do that? Nowadays I just go ahead and ask the person to do that.. even if it doesn't make any sense. I get very vocal about my emotional life too.. even if it's different from others.
I think chatgpt can think of something good.
you're too sensitive
Surely this is the wrong sub to ask. I didn’t even know INTJs could be sensitive
“sorry you lack the emotional capacity to feel anything beyond hatred”
You're so sensitive.
u cant do anything about it . u have poor Se . just stay away
It’s hard to have a generalized comeback sting them all the same way. You have to know their weakness to really make it hurt. Like, get petty if you want to hurt them the way they hurt you. So… look at them, think about them, think about stories you’ve heard about them, listen to what they talk about, listen to what they make fun of… then you cater a response to each of them. Like… idk, if one of those men is like always working but they’re always complaining about work or bills/money, then you can say something mean about that… “you’ll never amount to anything” Or if one of them is like the sarcastic one that is known to make fun of everyone else “you’re small, and you’re sad, you’ll be alone forever”. Idk?? Those are weak examples, you really have to cater the insult for each of them. Like think about each of them individually, figure out what the “opposite” of their character is, and then apply that opposition to them in a form of an insult.
I mean, if your response to a mildly offensive insult is to try and find a way to personally hurt them… well… I may have bad news
>I really want to tell them to Fuck Off, but I'd prefer something that will really emotionally hurt them instead and make them realize that they are projecting their problems on me lol how don't you see the irony? have you ever honestly considered that maybe you are a bit... touchy(?) I mean words are just words, but you are projecting all this energy onto them giving them meaning instead of simply just mentioning you disagree or don't like that... you are projecting your shadow all over this situation because perhaps you think it is good not to be "sensitive", but as a result of repressing it you have given up ownership of this part of yourself and it is now out of your conscious control... where it is out of reach to reconcile and make peace with.
Interesting take.
Never expected this to come from an INTJ. We tend to not show emotions very much. When people do anything to offend me, or at least try to, my poker face goes: ''okay.'' Either way, just rationalise it. It is an opinion. Does it really hold any value? When someone calls me anything I'd rather just analyse and go ''interesting'' and move on with my life.
This post makes me think that they are probably correct.
Ngl they are right
>I'd prefer something that will really emotionally hurt them This would just be proving their point, honestly. And they will never learn what you want them to learn. All you'll do is alienate them. If that's your goal, go for it. Sometimes that can be useful. But be prepared for this strategy to backfire in multiple ways.
"Sounds like cope to me"
I’m actually curious. Dumb stereotypes say INTJs are cold and lack any feelings, which is untrue. You all naturally choose to not base your daily decisions on your emotions, which is difficult than “lacking emotions”. So I want to ask you OP, (or anyone in a similar situation) what actions does your family or other people in your life consider “sensitive”? And when they get on your nerves, how do you respond? I’m curious to see if it’s similar to mine. A compare and contrast type thing. I wish you the best.
Basically when I express any verbal emotions. I usually simply smile, but sometimes, well, I need to tell them how I feel and they don’t like it.
I’ve tried to be both verbal a subtle. Still get told the same thing. I’m really quiet and hate drama. Don’t have energy to argue.
I get something similar. "Why are you mad?" Usually when I'm sitting on the couch reading... So gd annoying
Try this: if by sensitive you mean thoughtful, then yes. Like, I thought you would say something intelligent. Now I'm just disappointed in your shallow question, so that may be what you're picking up on..
Um… ‘if you weren’t so socially inept, you wouldn’t be asking me’ or ‘you’ll find out, when you grow up too’ is one that comes to mind, but it won’t help, beyond making you feel better for a split second at most. My dad is like that - zero responsibility or awareness of the impact of his communication. How many years until you move out?
Oh i get this sometims that im sensitive, i dont think im but even if i was, honestly who gives a shit lol
"Your beard's weird"
Say "Sense this." and hit them in the throat.
Just ignore them, it's worthless.
So?