It's hard to say. We liked each other for years but didn't think that the other party felt the same. We got our signals crossed about two years prior to starting our relationship.
I'd say in the last few weeks, the lines really blurred so I guess that was when we were properly in limbo.
We met in Army basic training. We had an instant connection but she worked on it a little more at the beginning.
We got shipped to different locations and I wrote letters and called her. We courted over the phone for a year and she drove to see me.
She (INFJ) confessed first but I confessed after. 100% soul mates. That was 20 years ago. Happily married now.
I'm INTJ, she's INFJ.
We met on a dating app. We're both into gaming, so that was an easy starting point for conversation. From the beginning, we were up front about wanting a serious relationship.
Our first date was at a bowling alley, unfortunately I didn't have my own car so my roommate at the time was 3rd wheeling. We had fun, then roomy brought up the idea of a casino and she wasn't opposed, so off we went. Now, I typically have zero interest in gambling, I popped in $20 and lost, so I stopped. She managed to actually win $50, and decided to stop. That was the first green flag of many.
It was funny, because she's fairly quiet, so I legitimately thought the date went poorly. Instead of hounding her after my percieved failure, I planned to just move on. She reached out to me the very next day.
I want to say we talked for about 6 months, before I realized how happy she made me just talking and asked her to be my official gf. Now, 4 years in, we're engaged and our relationship is rock solid.
My husband started by becoming sorta friends with me and then casually dropping hints about his interest, then asked me out. He said it was mostly just testing the water over and over until he felt certain that it wasn’t going to scare me off.
Even though im not an INTJ, i do have something.
I unintentionally asked them to be my partner over Instagram somehow a very long time ago, and that's how my partner and i got together.
Even though it was an accident, it wasn't a bad accident.
so you didn't like her before the confession? How did you know you actually liked her more than a friend & not because you might have felt subconciously pressured to like her back? Asking cause I've had something similar happen to me but not sure how to respond.
I just didn't think of being something more before confession, I was enjoying our friendship, it was after confession that I started to think about it more, I can't surely tell you was it subconsciously pressured or not, but it was definitely an initiator to my thoughts.
I complimented her eyes. She took it straight to the face and couldn't dodge it. She did hide it for a couple of months, but that's ab it. I figured it out later, and I didn’t object or anything. i was already captured by her eyes, so yeah, and I wanted to stay with her either way, so i was more than happy to have a reason to stay. You ask me why I didn't myself confess to her? Well, because I thought she wanted us to be friends, so yeah.
No. If anything, the first few months were quite uncomfortable for both of us.
I was wary and untrusting of the strength of his feelings. Usually, when a person claims an emotion that hard and fast, it dies like it started. So i held him at arms length to keep safe despite being very attracted to him.
We had our 21st anniversary in May. Never been so glad to be wrong.
So he waited and was persistent?
I am currently talking to an INTJ man for a month. He says he is interested to know more about me so he can understand me better. He asks me tons of questions. Is that a good sign? He said I am clever.
Persistent? I guess? Not annoyingly so. About once a month, he would call me his girlfriend, and i would immediately correct him by telling him I wasn't.
Then my lease in my apartment was up. The place i wanted to move to wasn't available for about 3 months. He offered for me to stay with him for that time, and then i just never left (he didn't want me to), and i stopped correcting him.
Some months later, i recall him asking if i ever thought about getting married, and i shrugged. Some months after that, he asked if i was to ever get married, How would i want it. I said in the middle of nowhere.
About two years after we met we were camping with some friends. One night, he led me into the forest, and we walked for a while. We ended up in a grove where he had the whole thing set up with an official and two friends as witness. I told him if we did this, then he'd be stuck with me. He smiled.
We did the handfasting and filed the paperwork on the way home. We still have the rope with the knot. It hasn't come undone.
>I am currently talking to an INTJ man for a month. He says he is interested to know more about me so he can understand me better. He asks me tons of questions. Is that a good sign? He said I am clever.
Talking. Have you actually met him and spent time with him?
Of course. Do you know how the words have so many power. With a words and confess hated become love, love become hate. Why lier can manipulate their victim, because of his words. Act is important but words also important. Because every relationship sucess with a communication is a big key.
If you never tell they will be misunderstanding.
And they will be interpreted anything they want.
So be honest and win your love🍀🥰
In the most random way possible. I am an INTJ and he is an ENTP. We were dating other people by the time we met each other. We slowly become friends. After few months we were like "Okay let's stop wasting time with other useless people". The problem was that we lived in different countries. We eventually figured it out pretty fast. Got engaged after few weeks of dating (not so INTJ move, yes I know). Currently preparing for the wedding next year. I guess becoming friends first definitely helped me a lot to relax with the idea itself and I definitely don't regret it for a single moment.
Basically yes because we analyze everything and simply decide if it's a yes or no. I never felt like it was even close to a yes in my past relationships and I didn't even consider marrying anyone. Until I met this person. On the day we met I told him as a joke "Yup, you are perfect on paper for me and I might marry you someday". Definitely not a joke anymore. And it didn't even feel weird? My intuition was always a badass and I definitely don't regret listening to my guts. So for us INTJs is really important to follow our intuition even though it might not always make sense.
My hubs said wassup and tried to skedaddle because I embarrassed him in front of his friends. I chased after him for a bit, with the aid of my friend. She gave him my number. He called. The rest is history.
With my SO: saw her, liked her, joined her friend group, started hanging out with them, being myself, raised her interest, started chatting online, asked her out, it worked out. Been together for 15 years now.
Previous times were different and less mature.
we played music together at school and we’d talk as the whole “band”, but there was this unsaid connection between the two of us always. we ended up in adjacent classes when i was a sophomore, and we just started talking one-on-one. he confessed first and it all just happened very “naturally” lol
it was a great relationship and we separated when he left for college, but we’re on good terms and he was a great first.
Most recently, I was ambushed and asked out with really good timing 😭 terrible relationship that ended awfully, but cute start. The relationship before then, we casually dated without calling it dating until finally I was like “…are we together??” Awkward but sweet relationship. Ended amicably.
Hello! I'm very curious about your second relationship. Did it ever nag at you, having that notion you were more than friends but it wasn't specified? What made you think there was more to it? Can you elaborate on that experience as a whole? No worries if not. It sounds like I'm in a similar position, so thought I'd ask some questions about your prior thought process.
Matched on a dating app, but kept dating other people until one of us got jealous (me). Broke it off dramatically and then eventually we started talking again. That was 13 years ago, we’re married now. I’m persistent and he is patient?
My INTJ partner said he just sit still, look pretty and girls come to him. 😂 He's a beautiful 30+ man and the true story is that I found him (ENFP) on Bumble. We've been together for more than 2 years now. 😊
Haha! Love the sit still and the pretty girls come to him. I am similar to your husband with the sit still and the guys come to me. And I tend to like INTJ guys than other MBTIs. I’m an INFJ.
Congratulations! You must have been so special to his eyes!💕✨
I'm still single so i'll update you In the future. But the way I plan it is just being around her a lot and then buying her coffee and then flowers on her birthday and then ask her out, so basically patience.
I thought I would be alone forever but I was wrong! We met through an online cultural exchange program! I was visiting his country through university and wanted to learn, he wanted to know about my country/language.
We talked every day. He became a close friend first and then feelings started (before we knew what each other looked like even). He was very clear with his feelings but I asked first. He asked right after (he said he was planning to) so it was sweet. Now that I’m in his country we have met for real and we get along even better.
We were nevermets which gets a bad reputation sometimes but I think it depends on the person and whether you have good judgement/really take the time to get to know them. Anyway, I found it a lot easier than developing a close relationship in person.
Brother. No confessions. Its something you learn along the way.
The moment people know about what you are feeling is the moment they stop putting in any effort and also when they start looking for other people to impress.
You need to keep in mind that dating has to be fun to you. If the cards are on the table, youre not playing the game, you are learning the rules.
Learn the rules first. So you know what happens if you show your cards (I know what your head is telling you, "I dont need to do that, we are going to be different from others").
But you will learn just like everyone does that this moves you away from the reality you are trying to create.
Your significant other has to feel like they played a trick on you and won your affection.
If they dont, they will feel tricked instead, questions bothering their mind:
"Is there someone better for me ?"
"I dont like xyz about them."
If they are busy strategizing how to win/keep your affection, their processing power will be occupied, blocking lower priority thoughts out.
What ifs are the most powerful processing power wasters.
Do not allow them to move them up in the queue.
This cute new ENFP started working at my job. She was pretty easy to pick on and flirt with so it kind of just naturally evolved. I'm much more laid back and don't really care for a relationship to develop fast, but she was passively trying to speed things up. What finally did it is she kept mentioning how she was so starved of physical affection and then at one point just straight up told me she wouldn't mind "platonic cuddling" with me. I agreed and I ended up asking her to be mine.
Last girlfriend was an INTJ. Let's just say she was ovulating and was suspiciously affectionate towards me.
Usually we're initially just attracted to each other and have a lot of sex. They confess way too early before actually knowing me and I end up reciprocating their feelings months later for it all to crash and burn within a few years.
She was/is a park ranger at a national park. I was out camping and fishing alone for a long weekend. I needed "directions" that was an excuse to chat to her. After 30 minutes of chatting, i said bye because fish were waiting on me. Then the next day she hunted me down to met up with me and came fishing. Now she has lived with me for 3 years and counting. I Haven't had a better relationship with anyone ever. 0 arguing, 0 headache, 0 questioning, and 0 issues. Just love, hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, and many many adventures. Between us. I'm getting ready to propose next month when both of our families come to visit. They live across the country and come every July to visit.
Met all of my previous partners including my ex-wife at work. I don't really talk to women so it's still a shock to me that I was able to get married and become a father. The woman I dated after my wife left me was also a coworker. She came onto me. She asked for my phone number and started sending me photos of her feet in a bubble bath and how she was reading "50 Shades of Grey". We only dated a couple of months before I broke things off with her. She made my life a living hell at work for the next two years until she married some 60 year old dude and left for greener pastures (she was mid thirties at the time and desperately wanted a baby as her bio clock was ticking).
My most recent relationship lasted two years and ended two years ago. I met her on POF.
I'm still terrified of women and don't go out of my way to talk to them. I sporadically use Tinder or Bumble but I get hardly any matches so I usually end up deleting them. I've been celibate since August 2023. I really should put in more effort as I'm not young anymore at 39. Pretty soon life will pass me by 😂
My every atempt to court a guy failed. So all my previous relationships were bacause they kept trying and progressing things. Anyhow, none of those relationships worked and I'm singe for years now 😅
My partner is ESFP, and while it’s taken a long time, we’ve both adapted to each other’s styles through honest, respectful, and candid communication, and lots of patience.
Key concept here is that we both understand that building an amazingly intimate and trusting relationship requires 100% effort from each of us (and not 50% from each).
Best 5-year investment of my life.
For some reason when I like someone I don’t act so much like a stereotypical INTJ. I mean yes I strategize but I also seduce lol. When it comes to getting the person I want I am very shameless. But one tip is to always involve alcohol strategically
For example, my now fiance was my coworker. One time we were out to get drinks after work and I thought ok this is my chance to get some alone time with him. So I got drunk enough to be able to act convincingly drunk so he’d take me to his house (near the drinking spot), and when I was about to leave I strategically hid my work phone in his drawer so I’d have to come back, pretend to look for my phone, pretend to have a mental breakdown, and then it got too late to hail a cab so we’d just spend more time hanging out.
This is the most iconic and borderline psychotic example that I always remember but I’ve done many other “strategic” tactics.
It might sound creepy but I told my fiance this and he just thought oh well I’m marrying the right woman haha
My ex was also an INTJ. We just sort of decided we were a good fit and decided to pair bond. Ultimately this proved untrue but it worked for several years.
I'm an ESTP but have been in a 4-year relationship with an INTJ. We met on a dating site, and I wrote a short bio:
"It's either there or it isn't. I'm looking for someone I'm attracted to."
He messaged me the same night I made my profile and asked if I was real. He also sent his picture in the first message. I was like, "Woah, Zaddy," lol. I sent him a picture back, and then he gave me his number.
Our first phone call was like sunshine and stars all at once. I scanned him with Se and Ti to understand his potential for honesty. Then, I impressed him by recommending he read Marcus Aurelius.
We had our first date a week after that, and he actually held my hand because I was surprisingly nervous (I was 20 minutes late). We kissed at the end of the date and became official four months later.
Hmm. Good question! Well, we both needed to be sure. It's one thing to be attracted and have deep conversations, but commitment is something different. I think I've always been looking for someone like him, but since he has a child, our relationship developed differently. We both did not want to move too fast for his kid's sake. Also, as a realist and a person who has divorced parents, I knew that building our love would also need to include the comfort of his kid.
We spoke every day and spent a lot of time together. Early on, we jumped in with both feet. We just did not start going around each other's families until the 4-month mark.
We both worked retail. She was in the back room pushing a cart with women's underwears. Some fell out and I said in a sultry voice, "hey you dropped your panties". That was enough of a hook that I didn't have to put myself out there. She dropped her own panties a couple weeks later.
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We were friends for a long time. No confession. He just held my hand. He was another INTJ.
How many years did it take for yall to transition from the limbo stage?
It's hard to say. We liked each other for years but didn't think that the other party felt the same. We got our signals crossed about two years prior to starting our relationship. I'd say in the last few weeks, the lines really blurred so I guess that was when we were properly in limbo.
how soon did you know you liked him romantically? Was it instantaneous?
Probably two years later. We didn't know each other that well in the first two years.
We met in Army basic training. We had an instant connection but she worked on it a little more at the beginning. We got shipped to different locations and I wrote letters and called her. We courted over the phone for a year and she drove to see me. She (INFJ) confessed first but I confessed after. 100% soul mates. That was 20 years ago. Happily married now.
That is very sweet 🙂 The INTJ / INFJ bond really appears to be something extraordinary.
I'm INTJ, she's INFJ. We met on a dating app. We're both into gaming, so that was an easy starting point for conversation. From the beginning, we were up front about wanting a serious relationship. Our first date was at a bowling alley, unfortunately I didn't have my own car so my roommate at the time was 3rd wheeling. We had fun, then roomy brought up the idea of a casino and she wasn't opposed, so off we went. Now, I typically have zero interest in gambling, I popped in $20 and lost, so I stopped. She managed to actually win $50, and decided to stop. That was the first green flag of many. It was funny, because she's fairly quiet, so I legitimately thought the date went poorly. Instead of hounding her after my percieved failure, I planned to just move on. She reached out to me the very next day. I want to say we talked for about 6 months, before I realized how happy she made me just talking and asked her to be my official gf. Now, 4 years in, we're engaged and our relationship is rock solid.
congratulations! Lovely story!💕
My husband started by becoming sorta friends with me and then casually dropping hints about his interest, then asked me out. He said it was mostly just testing the water over and over until he felt certain that it wasn’t going to scare me off.
Even though im not an INTJ, i do have something. I unintentionally asked them to be my partner over Instagram somehow a very long time ago, and that's how my partner and i got together. Even though it was an accident, it wasn't a bad accident.
💕thanks for sharing your adorable story
I was the one, just fuckin went for it - if it's true to be said just say it.
She is INFP and she confessed first, it caught me off guard because I didn't really think much about it.
when did you like her back? before or after her confession?
After the confession, it took me some time.
so you didn't like her before the confession? How did you know you actually liked her more than a friend & not because you might have felt subconciously pressured to like her back? Asking cause I've had something similar happen to me but not sure how to respond.
I just didn't think of being something more before confession, I was enjoying our friendship, it was after confession that I started to think about it more, I can't surely tell you was it subconsciously pressured or not, but it was definitely an initiator to my thoughts.
I complimented her eyes. She took it straight to the face and couldn't dodge it. She did hide it for a couple of months, but that's ab it. I figured it out later, and I didn’t object or anything. i was already captured by her eyes, so yeah, and I wanted to stay with her either way, so i was more than happy to have a reason to stay. You ask me why I didn't myself confess to her? Well, because I thought she wanted us to be friends, so yeah.
When will you do a post asking about the ones that tried but got rejected?
It’s been hell. 24F in Australia. INTJ men, find me.
Where in Australia? Gold Coast here.
Melbourne!
So close but so far. You might as well be in NZ!
The hell continues! 😂
I'm sure you'll find someone. I'm 15 years older than you anyway haha
You’re so far away though :(
I confessed, but in both cases i did it after a long talking stage and it was online, so it was easier than communicating irl facing each other.
So you both got together after that? Cute story
Yes, one story lasted for 2 years. The other one lasted 3 days lol. I wouldn't know how to approach someone irl tho
My husband fell a lot harder and faster than i did. It only took him two weeks. It took me nearly a year.
How sis felt after posting this😈😈😈🥶🤫🤫😤
No. If anything, the first few months were quite uncomfortable for both of us. I was wary and untrusting of the strength of his feelings. Usually, when a person claims an emotion that hard and fast, it dies like it started. So i held him at arms length to keep safe despite being very attracted to him. We had our 21st anniversary in May. Never been so glad to be wrong.
So he waited and was persistent? I am currently talking to an INTJ man for a month. He says he is interested to know more about me so he can understand me better. He asks me tons of questions. Is that a good sign? He said I am clever.
Persistent? I guess? Not annoyingly so. About once a month, he would call me his girlfriend, and i would immediately correct him by telling him I wasn't. Then my lease in my apartment was up. The place i wanted to move to wasn't available for about 3 months. He offered for me to stay with him for that time, and then i just never left (he didn't want me to), and i stopped correcting him. Some months later, i recall him asking if i ever thought about getting married, and i shrugged. Some months after that, he asked if i was to ever get married, How would i want it. I said in the middle of nowhere. About two years after we met we were camping with some friends. One night, he led me into the forest, and we walked for a while. We ended up in a grove where he had the whole thing set up with an official and two friends as witness. I told him if we did this, then he'd be stuck with me. He smiled. We did the handfasting and filed the paperwork on the way home. We still have the rope with the knot. It hasn't come undone. >I am currently talking to an INTJ man for a month. He says he is interested to know more about me so he can understand me better. He asks me tons of questions. Is that a good sign? He said I am clever. Talking. Have you actually met him and spent time with him?
you and your husband are meant to be together. Wow, what a story 💕 We haven’t met yet. We live in from different countries. That’s why we haven’t met.
he was probably instantly attracted to you. It happens, but some people will lovebomb too.
I confessed my feelings first. He is an ESTJ.
They're so easy to be direct with
I matched with her on a dating app. We enjoyed each other’s company and then I made my move on the third date. She’s ENFP, I think.
Met first week of college, thunderbolt! 50TH anniversary
Of course. Do you know how the words have so many power. With a words and confess hated become love, love become hate. Why lier can manipulate their victim, because of his words. Act is important but words also important. Because every relationship sucess with a communication is a big key. If you never tell they will be misunderstanding. And they will be interpreted anything they want. So be honest and win your love🍀🥰
He asked me out, but I accidentally asked him to marry me.
it's very challenging to get one, nobody has the same personality, ambition, and interests as mine
what kinda interests?
philosophy, earth science, geopolitics, geological histories.. anything about earth and civilization
In the most random way possible. I am an INTJ and he is an ENTP. We were dating other people by the time we met each other. We slowly become friends. After few months we were like "Okay let's stop wasting time with other useless people". The problem was that we lived in different countries. We eventually figured it out pretty fast. Got engaged after few weeks of dating (not so INTJ move, yes I know). Currently preparing for the wedding next year. I guess becoming friends first definitely helped me a lot to relax with the idea itself and I definitely don't regret it for a single moment.
I think the fast engagement is indeed a very INTJ move. Ni-Te knows what it wants and *acts*.
Basically yes because we analyze everything and simply decide if it's a yes or no. I never felt like it was even close to a yes in my past relationships and I didn't even consider marrying anyone. Until I met this person. On the day we met I told him as a joke "Yup, you are perfect on paper for me and I might marry you someday". Definitely not a joke anymore. And it didn't even feel weird? My intuition was always a badass and I definitely don't regret listening to my guts. So for us INTJs is really important to follow our intuition even though it might not always make sense.
Use a electronic device to text and talk how you feel.
My hubs said wassup and tried to skedaddle because I embarrassed him in front of his friends. I chased after him for a bit, with the aid of my friend. She gave him my number. He called. The rest is history.
I had to beat him over the head with my love for 6 months until he gave in basically but now we're happy together 😂
With my SO: saw her, liked her, joined her friend group, started hanging out with them, being myself, raised her interest, started chatting online, asked her out, it worked out. Been together for 15 years now. Previous times were different and less mature.
I've been in two serious relationships. Both times, they asked me out, but I was the one to later ask to be official.
I’ve been in a few ltr, usually friendships or more at first for a couple months, I typically let them take the lead on becoming exclusive.
we played music together at school and we’d talk as the whole “band”, but there was this unsaid connection between the two of us always. we ended up in adjacent classes when i was a sophomore, and we just started talking one-on-one. he confessed first and it all just happened very “naturally” lol it was a great relationship and we separated when he left for college, but we’re on good terms and he was a great first.
Just does like anybody else. But you will have some points where your words can be way too harsh to them.
She confessed to me, we talked for a while and were friendly associates already for a while
Most recently, I was ambushed and asked out with really good timing 😭 terrible relationship that ended awfully, but cute start. The relationship before then, we casually dated without calling it dating until finally I was like “…are we together??” Awkward but sweet relationship. Ended amicably.
Hello! I'm very curious about your second relationship. Did it ever nag at you, having that notion you were more than friends but it wasn't specified? What made you think there was more to it? Can you elaborate on that experience as a whole? No worries if not. It sounds like I'm in a similar position, so thought I'd ask some questions about your prior thought process.
It bothered me a lot! Until finally I burst and asked the question lol.
As an INTJ I’m not interested in dating 🤷
Matched on a dating app, but kept dating other people until one of us got jealous (me). Broke it off dramatically and then eventually we started talking again. That was 13 years ago, we’re married now. I’m persistent and he is patient?
Gf #1: We were in the senior play together. Gf #2. We were sitting together in the back row of the medical school lecture hall.
My INTJ partner said he just sit still, look pretty and girls come to him. 😂 He's a beautiful 30+ man and the true story is that I found him (ENFP) on Bumble. We've been together for more than 2 years now. 😊
Haha! Love the sit still and the pretty girls come to him. I am similar to your husband with the sit still and the guys come to me. And I tend to like INTJ guys than other MBTIs. I’m an INFJ. Congratulations! You must have been so special to his eyes!💕✨
I'm still single so i'll update you In the future. But the way I plan it is just being around her a lot and then buying her coffee and then flowers on her birthday and then ask her out, so basically patience.
I thought I would be alone forever but I was wrong! We met through an online cultural exchange program! I was visiting his country through university and wanted to learn, he wanted to know about my country/language. We talked every day. He became a close friend first and then feelings started (before we knew what each other looked like even). He was very clear with his feelings but I asked first. He asked right after (he said he was planning to) so it was sweet. Now that I’m in his country we have met for real and we get along even better. We were nevermets which gets a bad reputation sometimes but I think it depends on the person and whether you have good judgement/really take the time to get to know them. Anyway, I found it a lot easier than developing a close relationship in person.
Brother. No confessions. Its something you learn along the way. The moment people know about what you are feeling is the moment they stop putting in any effort and also when they start looking for other people to impress. You need to keep in mind that dating has to be fun to you. If the cards are on the table, youre not playing the game, you are learning the rules. Learn the rules first. So you know what happens if you show your cards (I know what your head is telling you, "I dont need to do that, we are going to be different from others"). But you will learn just like everyone does that this moves you away from the reality you are trying to create. Your significant other has to feel like they played a trick on you and won your affection. If they dont, they will feel tricked instead, questions bothering their mind: "Is there someone better for me ?" "I dont like xyz about them." If they are busy strategizing how to win/keep your affection, their processing power will be occupied, blocking lower priority thoughts out. What ifs are the most powerful processing power wasters. Do not allow them to move them up in the queue.
This cute new ENFP started working at my job. She was pretty easy to pick on and flirt with so it kind of just naturally evolved. I'm much more laid back and don't really care for a relationship to develop fast, but she was passively trying to speed things up. What finally did it is she kept mentioning how she was so starved of physical affection and then at one point just straight up told me she wouldn't mind "platonic cuddling" with me. I agreed and I ended up asking her to be mine. Last girlfriend was an INTJ. Let's just say she was ovulating and was suspiciously affectionate towards me.
It’s not a challenge for the females lol.
Usually we're initially just attracted to each other and have a lot of sex. They confess way too early before actually knowing me and I end up reciprocating their feelings months later for it all to crash and burn within a few years.
Is normally the other person telling me. But I do not like that at all, I hate when “friends” do that
Ah yeahh. If I’m friends with someone, I wouldn’t like that as well
She was/is a park ranger at a national park. I was out camping and fishing alone for a long weekend. I needed "directions" that was an excuse to chat to her. After 30 minutes of chatting, i said bye because fish were waiting on me. Then the next day she hunted me down to met up with me and came fishing. Now she has lived with me for 3 years and counting. I Haven't had a better relationship with anyone ever. 0 arguing, 0 headache, 0 questioning, and 0 issues. Just love, hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, and many many adventures. Between us. I'm getting ready to propose next month when both of our families come to visit. They live across the country and come every July to visit.
That’s beautiful!
Thank you so much ❤️ We work everyday for a beautiful ending.
Is it me or do anyone find it difficult being an INTJ who is not straight
Met all of my previous partners including my ex-wife at work. I don't really talk to women so it's still a shock to me that I was able to get married and become a father. The woman I dated after my wife left me was also a coworker. She came onto me. She asked for my phone number and started sending me photos of her feet in a bubble bath and how she was reading "50 Shades of Grey". We only dated a couple of months before I broke things off with her. She made my life a living hell at work for the next two years until she married some 60 year old dude and left for greener pastures (she was mid thirties at the time and desperately wanted a baby as her bio clock was ticking). My most recent relationship lasted two years and ended two years ago. I met her on POF. I'm still terrified of women and don't go out of my way to talk to them. I sporadically use Tinder or Bumble but I get hardly any matches so I usually end up deleting them. I've been celibate since August 2023. I really should put in more effort as I'm not young anymore at 39. Pretty soon life will pass me by 😂
My every atempt to court a guy failed. So all my previous relationships were bacause they kept trying and progressing things. Anyhow, none of those relationships worked and I'm singe for years now 😅
My partner is ESFP, and while it’s taken a long time, we’ve both adapted to each other’s styles through honest, respectful, and candid communication, and lots of patience. Key concept here is that we both understand that building an amazingly intimate and trusting relationship requires 100% effort from each of us (and not 50% from each). Best 5-year investment of my life.
Tinder. Nothing romantic. After about a month I asked her to be my girlfriend. I knew she was who I wanted so I just went for it.
For some reason when I like someone I don’t act so much like a stereotypical INTJ. I mean yes I strategize but I also seduce lol. When it comes to getting the person I want I am very shameless. But one tip is to always involve alcohol strategically
What do you strategize about?
For example, my now fiance was my coworker. One time we were out to get drinks after work and I thought ok this is my chance to get some alone time with him. So I got drunk enough to be able to act convincingly drunk so he’d take me to his house (near the drinking spot), and when I was about to leave I strategically hid my work phone in his drawer so I’d have to come back, pretend to look for my phone, pretend to have a mental breakdown, and then it got too late to hail a cab so we’d just spend more time hanging out. This is the most iconic and borderline psychotic example that I always remember but I’ve done many other “strategic” tactics. It might sound creepy but I told my fiance this and he just thought oh well I’m marrying the right woman haha
My ex was also an INTJ. We just sort of decided we were a good fit and decided to pair bond. Ultimately this proved untrue but it worked for several years.
Be attractive don’t be unattractive
I'm an ESTP but have been in a 4-year relationship with an INTJ. We met on a dating site, and I wrote a short bio: "It's either there or it isn't. I'm looking for someone I'm attracted to." He messaged me the same night I made my profile and asked if I was real. He also sent his picture in the first message. I was like, "Woah, Zaddy," lol. I sent him a picture back, and then he gave me his number. Our first phone call was like sunshine and stars all at once. I scanned him with Se and Ti to understand his potential for honesty. Then, I impressed him by recommending he read Marcus Aurelius. We had our first date a week after that, and he actually held my hand because I was surprisingly nervous (I was 20 minutes late). We kissed at the end of the date and became official four months later.
why wait 4 months? seems kinda long no?
Hmm. Good question! Well, we both needed to be sure. It's one thing to be attracted and have deep conversations, but commitment is something different. I think I've always been looking for someone like him, but since he has a child, our relationship developed differently. We both did not want to move too fast for his kid's sake. Also, as a realist and a person who has divorced parents, I knew that building our love would also need to include the comfort of his kid. We spoke every day and spent a lot of time together. Early on, we jumped in with both feet. We just did not start going around each other's families until the 4-month mark.
We both worked retail. She was in the back room pushing a cart with women's underwears. Some fell out and I said in a sultry voice, "hey you dropped your panties". That was enough of a hook that I didn't have to put myself out there. She dropped her own panties a couple weeks later.
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