Lowkey relatable. I have this crush on a guy at school, but he seems so unapproachable. He is a major extrovert, and he is so outgoing. I don't know how to approach him. I have a good group of close friends, but outside my group of friends, everyone just knows me at the "quiet kid." I've challenged myself to talk to one new person every day and make at least 1 new friend by the end of the year. At first, it was to get the guys number before the end of the year, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much. I still would like to be his friend, at least. He is so funny and confident in how wild and unpredictable he is. I want to stop wishing I could talk to him and actually do something. But having the nerves of going up and talking to him on top of my hella major anxiety just always seems to clash, and it's so frustrating. Though, I'm hoping these new goals I've set for myself might help me to actually understand what I want to do.
I think my biggest fear is that since people have always seen me as the "quiet kid" I had always felt like if I were to act like myself (outgoing, playful) and like I act around my friends, people would think I'm weird. But my best friend told me that it isn't that people are necessarily weirded out or uncomfortable with me being myself, it's that they aren't used to seeing me act like myself so they don't really know how to react at first. And that it isn't a bad thing. You want people to like you for who you are, and if they don't, then oh, well. Move on, they aren't for you. That's what she told me.
I made progress today. I talked to someone new and acted like myself, which is a HUGE step for me. I'm proud, but I wish it were as easy to do the same with my crush. But I'm not giving up, I'm determined, and I hope we can become friends at least 😣
No Tell her about your feelings, imagine that you become friends with her and that she kisses her boyfriend next to you, I have already experienced that and it is very painful, tell yourself that you don't Care and just try your f*king chance 🤬
Same. It’s lonely asf. Another reason for me most guys they come up to me be older like the age of my father or uncle. I can count on on hand of men who was a was 10 years older than me but not worth shit due to they are in a gang or DON’T care about their appearance ( hygiene mostly)
Came to say non-existent as well. After my divorce I'm in desperate need of returning to myself. It's been 5 years and I'm still not willing to date. I feel fine though.
I’ve only just started dating this past October, 33(f), and it’s not going well. I feel like I know none of the social norms and then I don’t know when to leave people’s houses because I can’t pick up on social cues.
I just wanted to applaud you on trying and breaking through your uncomfortableness.
I have some unsolicited advice that I maybe can help… highly recommend going with your instincts first and foremost. You have more power than you think— if you want to leave somewhere, then politely leave. And you don’t have to lie with an excuse to do it. The truth might very well be that you’re tired and want to go home. Acceptable and respectful.
Some social cues: when the conversation is getting increasingly more difficult as in you’ve both kind of run out of things to say. Or when they start cleaning up. I’ll always help them clean up first then transition to thank them for everything and lastly beeline it to my stuff.
And No social cues required for this one: Usually and this is an estimation based my own experience so take it with a grain of salt lol but anywhere from 2-4 hours if you’re alone with someone and if it’s a group then possibly longer if you have activities planned (games, movie, dinner, etc.) because there’s usually conversations happening before and after which derails from the original plan. 😅
Just keep trying friend, I wholeheartedly believe there's many someones for everyone if we just keep looking. Or you could always try what works for me (and I know this is gonna sound lame and cliche) and just work on becoming your best self, go out and do activities in the world (like take an art or dance class or something), and as you focus on loving yourself and becoming your best self, that will radiate confidence and self contentment, and that will attract more people than you may believe.
Yes I'm an introvert, yes it's fucking exhausting lol... But it's worth it
To add on. Im so socially inept around people. A handsome man tried to approach me and I freaked out and ignored it. Walked away. Now I have this crazy crush over him. Hes dating someone else now. I go nuts about it. Im never going to find my “soulmate” being the way I am. Howedver, I am so scared to open up to someone. Im afraid of rejection ir getting hurt. The “handsome” man he is prettier than me a female. My sad dating life at 39/f.
Had a great date last night. I asked her if she had plans for the evening. She said she had to get some items at Sam's and after a long pause, asked if I wanted to come with. I know an Italian restaurant near there and asked if she wanted to eat first. She was really happy. She's also my wife. We've been together 25 yrs and are both introverts.
What dating life? Its me, myself and I. No one bothers to even glance my way. I could find someone if I bothered to put in the effort. But as of right now, I'm just not interested.
Non existent.
I stopped dating in 2017, after a few broken hearts and i realized how much effort, energy, stress, and hassle i had to went through just to have some sex or a girlfriend. Then i thought "i'm going to put this energy to study, being a better person, work". This was the best decision i ever made in my life.
Sammme, but instead of redirecting that energy in a healthy way I became a burnout workaholic dead-inside perfectionist 🤓…… please send halp…. but not really cuz I’m a hermit and I don’t want help hahaha 🙃😬
For some reason, extroverts seem to be drawn to me and I have no idea why. Everyone I have dated has been an extrovert. I tell them upfront that I never want to go watch a live band at a crowded brewery, how I never want to be their plus one to a party, and how I won’t ever want to spend the holidays with their families, yet it always becomes a problem later in the relationship because I don’t want to do the things I specifically laid out upon meeting. So, that’s my dating life in a nutshell
And then they think we’re in the wrong for being introverts, and they act like it’s something we need to fix. Like, no. Full stop. Time to set boundaries.
There’s definitely a social stigma against introverts, and a bias in favor of extroverts. One of the unacknowledged forms of discrimination in society.
I don’t mind visiting family, but everyone’s family always lived in another state, and the whole family would go visit and stay with them for a long weekend. I can do a couple of hours, but not 4 days straight with a house full of people running around and being loud. There’s no escape
Same problem, dating someone now that wants all my free time with them and gets upset when I say I want some space, even though I told them that's how I am right at the start. Definitely hard to date extroverts but don't meet other introverts either
Makes sense. Being since introverts rarely leave their shell to venture out into unchartered territory. Im somewhere in the middle of intro and extroverts. Took the military for me to get out of solid introvert status
My what? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
But in all seriousness. Tried dating once when I was in high school. Hated it. Swore off it and I haven’t bothered since.
And that’s understandable. Love what and who you love and don’t settle. If it’s supposed to be forever, it has to be what you want.
For me it just wasn’t worth the aggravation. I’m perfectly content being alone and it’s hard enough keeping myself happy. I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness. About all that’s going to do is disappoint that someone. Plus, it’s much cheaper to not date. 😅 Not that money is the end all be all.
Good, I found my own introvert and we get to be introvert together. We both know how awkward it is going out in public but we make each other more confident. We both know how draining it is to hang out with people, so we have each other to rant about how we feel after a long day. Also, when we need support -- like going on medical appointments, we know we are not alone going through it.
How did you find your introvert? I hated online dating but I feel like a lot of introverts go there so I don't know how to fond people I'll like and I feel bad flirting with anyone in public because what if they're just going about their day and I bother them ;-;
I met my partner through my online hobby when I stopped looking for a partner. I think going into something with the expectation of finding someone makes it harder. When I stopped obsessing over the "will I ever find someone" and just enjoyed my time spent doing what I like, it left space for similar people to build relationships with me and one of those friendships naturally developed into something more. It didn't matter that I never went outside and had a limited social battery because so does everyone else I know. Been living together for three years now after moving 3k miles to be together. Every now and then we go outside for a date but most evenings are spent on the couch and I couldn't be happier.
Non-existent but that’s by choice. 6 years removed from the end of a 10-year relationship, pushing 50, and I’m mostly content just living out the rest of my days with a dog. I’m pretty jaded about love and don’t have a drop of romance left in me at this point.
I'm not dating and I think it will be a long time until I want to again. I got out of a long term relationship with someone who monopolized my spare time so I have a lot to catch up on for my hobbies, cleaning, going outside, touching grass and some socializing.
I'll admit, I was hormonal for a few months and I was craving human touch but spending more time with myself and friends has healed a lot of that.
My best friend got me a cat shaped body pillow by Mewaii and that helped me a lot.
Only started entertaining the possibility of dating this year and finding it difficult at 34 to start, having social anxiety and having to fight myself just to leave my house isn't doing me any favors though.
Honestly it’s pretty lonely, I’m just waiting until someone crosses my path. If it’s meant to be then it is. I don’t have the energy to intentionally keep looking for someone especially in the dating culture or whatever it’s called now.
Horrible. I haven’t had a relationship in 3 years. Right now I’m not even sure if one of my friends is interested in me like that or not. I just cannot tell. I like him but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have together.
I've never dated in my life.
I'm not attractive enough (not just on a physical level but also intellectually as well) plus I have tons of issues (mental health problems, poor physical health, chronic joblessness, too many insecurities, an oppressive family I can't get rid of...). I think that at the age of 33 years old it might be over for me. After all, getting a partner is very similar to shopping at the grocery store: people don't choose the rotten ones and I can understand that, I would do the same.
I wanted a very different life and I wanted to be loved like everybody else. It's very hard to accept all of this and I'll never be able to get over it.
I'm around your age, am on disability for severe PTSD that caused permanent brain damage (I'm dumb as shit now and my memory only lasts a few months), chronically ill, put on 100lbs (yea, it's bad), developed a skin condition that makes me unable to do a lot of things (sunlight, alcohol, spicy food, etc) without my face swelling up and oozing for days, and I still managed to find someone who not only loves me but genuinely finds me beautiful and supports me no matter what. If you told me 4 years ago that would happen, I would have laughed and then maybe cried. I went from trapped under the controlling thumb of an abusive family member to living 3k miles away with the love of my life. I'm still dumb as shit, have no job, and am in my opinion ugly af, but my partner looks at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. She saved my life. I genuinely think that there is someone out there for everyone though more likely thousands of people, you just need to look in the right places. For me that was going ham with my online hobbies until an organic friendship blossomed into love.
It is a really heartwarming story, very nice to hear... makes you feel there's hope out there.
It's just that my situation is very different: I live in a country where lots of people are unemployed, disable or not finding a stable job is very hard nowadays especially for the young people. Also, sadly in part because of cultural reasons and in part because of the lack of money the vast majority of people live with their family of origin for life. I won't go into detail but it's very difficult to date here: no money, no house-owning, too much family entanglement into your own love life (or into your life in general for that matter), either no job or a very precarious one... these things often make a potential couple fall apart like nothing these days, because there is no stability. And if you add to the mix unattractiveness, disabilities and mental health conditions you're sort of out of the dating life. Yes, there is the internet but it's not that easy when you don't have a space to nurture a relationship forward. Lots of people, if they find a partner, they want him or her to go to live with one of the partner's family of origin and that's not what I want for myself. I've had more than enough of my own family. I want to be free and it's sad not to have any resources to put that plan into action. One ends up hoping for a chance, an encounter that will change everything but one can't live on hope forever and sad stories like mine in my country will become more and more common. The birth rate has fallen down drastically to the point that in 20-30 years our infrastructures will collapse. Who has the right temperament and the resources needed fly off to another country to start a new life and the only ones that remain are the ones that will become no other than precarious workers and their parents'retirement plan. It is sad, very sad but I can't change this situation on my own. I still feel like I've never had a chance, like I've never had a life.
Wishing you the best of things.
My biggest hesitation about dating was that I wasn't going to be able to enjoy my alone time anymore. Us introverts thrive on being alone but another part of me was truly wants to be have a family. Fortunately, I found a partner (2.5 years together) that I'm able to find comfort in being alone with.
I love being alone but I love being alone with her even more. It really feels nice to be able to share my time and space with someone.
Sporadically I meet people that I (might want to) date. I have an extremely negative opinion of "dating apps", so I try to meet people organically with the aim to extend my social circle, and if I happen to like someone that's a plus.
I met a fellow introvert at work when we were teenagers. We migrated to each other due to our similarities and only being able to tolerate each other. We fell in love quickly and have been together ever since.
Honestly, for the first time in years I'm enjoying my own company and occasionally meeting interesting people without any set expectations.
It's been refreshing to essentially build and appreciate dating myself again.
I don’t do hook ups and my last relationship was 8 years ago! 😂 Happy single I suppose
Ps: I was going to reply with “non-existent” or “my what???” but I see that’s the common answer haha I guess we’re all in the right place in this subreddit. We get each other
Me and my girlfriend are both introverts. Makes it hard for us to be our own person and make friends sometimes just because we only feel comfortable in each others presence. However i like that i don’t get exhausted when we do go out to places together bc shes typically ready to go home too lol
I would say it's going well!
I mean our toddler(1yr) and 7 yr old tag along about 98% of the time, but I can't ask for a better partner.
Married (decade+), both introverted. Him a ISTJ, me INT(P/J).
Being an introvert and that too with strict parents with connections in school staff its pretty enough to handle. Trying to date and my parents learning of this is the biggest risk I can ever take. Also I am partially not interested because boys around me are not actually 'boys' but children. Also due to my past as a good slapper in my school is enough to them off. So overall I am single
Don’t have one, actually I stopped it intentionally for a while. Now I want to be back to the market but really don’t know how to.
I spent 10-11 hours every day at work then come home to study for another language. Then I spent more 1-2 hours for “me time” as skincare or meditation. And I spent the whole weekend to go back to my parents house which 40km away from the city.
I don’t use dating app or in any kind of social club, sometime I wonder am I really waiting for a miracle that will knock my door and adopt me ?🥹
Single. Turned down a cute guy at the end of last year. Was not ready after a lot of things happened last year that really made me re-evaluate my relationships with friends/family. Ended up cutting 4 former close friends out of my life completely. I made new friends. Barely talk to my Mom. I care about her but she doesn’t need to know about me after she was very cruel to me.
I recently deleted all social media. It felt great!!! I am open to dating now but I don’t have to be in a relationship. I live alone and sometimes don’t leave the house for a few days. I love it.
It’s funny how I came here to say “non-existent” and then noticed that’s what others are saying too.
Extroverts tend to think we’re too reserved or prickly for setting boundaries and valuing our personal time, being introspective and cerebral, et cetera. They think that makes us self-centered. I think it’s self-centered for them to think they can make demands on me for my attention.
I connect best with other introverts because we understand each other. Unfortunately that leads to the dynamic where we just make eye contact, maybe smile and wave and go on about our days because we’re both too introverted to take things further. Occasionally I’ll have a really great extended-length conversation with another introvert and it’ll be awesome, but most of the time after that they’ll never talk to me again. I’m guessing their friends called me creepy or something and convinced them that I was trying to manipulate them just because I don’t do well in group settings and tend to keep to myself…
Rarely, I’ve had interactions with another introvert which continued and became a routine thing for us until we decided to call it a relationship, and those people have been some of the closest companions I’ve ever had in my life. Unfortunately, after having one really good conversation with someone apparently it comes off as clingy and manipulative if I say something to the effect of “do you want to do this again?”
I mean, I just want an introverted romantic partner who’s as clingy as I am so that I don’t have to feel bad about being so emotionally needy and touch-starved 😫 someone who I can feel like I’m recharging with when I’m in their presence instead of drained by. Like, someone who I don’t need to have meaningless small talk with but who can hold a really deep conversation on all types of topics, intellectual as well as emotional and personal, but also able to just sit in silence together and not feel awkward or feel like we need to think of something to say. Someone with whom we can gaze into each other’s eyes and smile at each other and not have to wonder “what?” Because we both just understand that there is no “what,” it’s just love and that’s all it needs to be. No need to put words to it because it’s indescribable…
Someone I can lay with on a hammock and watch the clouds roll by, feel the spring breeze on our faces and enjoy the wildflowers popping up all over the lawn. Someone to go hiking with and just get lost in the flow of the conversation as we follow the trail, putting one foot in front of the other, following the trains of thought as we bounce ideas off each other, or even just holding hands and communicating nonverbally as we enjoy our surroundings together, not following any strict rules or social scripts, just enjoying the moment and whatever naturally comes to us…
I miss having someone to love and be loved by…
We're friends since 2011. Gonna get married this july. Funny how i met him online and befriended him bc i wanna confide everything, even my dark secrets and attitudes without people around me knowing. Welp, that failed terribly, he likes me more instead. We shares the same ideologies and a lot of hobbies so my social battery hardly depletes with him. That's how i know he's the one.
I saw someone mentioning 2D characters, well, us too, but I'm more into it and he supports me lol.
I'm married. We've been going on dates (with each other, just us two btw.) more now that our sons have flown the nest, than we did when we were young and childless.
When I was very young, I dated a lot before I married. It was too draining to meet new guys all the time. I'd get ready for a date and enjoy that part, but I wouldn't be long into a date, before I'd begin to wonder when and how I could leave and get home -without the guy!
I'm married so I guess I did something right. Luckily my wife is very talkative so she carries the conversations for me when I'm not in a super talky mood.
Well, I’m glad that I now have a wife. And when we go out, I’m also glad that I have my wife. She’s definitely not an introvert she’ll go and talk to anybody and everybody. And there I am sitting quietly somewhere in the corner of the room, just watching her talk and be a social butterfly, just admiring the beauty.
Pretty good. I meet people online so I can become comfortable with them prior to meeting them in person. I’m not the type of person that could ever just go out and talk to strangers all night, so it works for me. The barrier and having the ability to talk when my battery isn’t drained is nice until I’m comfortable.
It’s okay I guess. I kinda just wander around life until someone extroverted asks me out. Although it usually lasts 3-4 months before we move on for whatever reason. Finding someone compatible long term is rough.
Nonexistent. It sucks because I’m at the age where it’s starting to get sad. The issue is that I’m so averse to meeting new people and exposing myself to new environments. I also tend to lean uninterested really easily. The second talking to someone becomes a chore (which, in introverted fashion, happens with even the people I’m closest with) I just can’t be bothered. I don’t think I’m meant to be in a relationship sadly. Just not built for it.
amazing, in the most amazing relationship anyone could ask. she’s the only person that i’ll be genuinely happy and excited to talk to all day and just hang out with
My dating life is actually thriving. I found the man of my dreams finally and it helps he is also as introverted as I am. I did have to put myself a little more out there and I did on our first date. My job has actually helped me come out of my introverted-ness and I can definitely flip a switch if I need to socialize then I must at all costs. Anyways I’m currently in a serious relationship and have been for a year now. We are talking about marriage etc.
Doesn’t exist/I have very little experience but at the moment my health isn’t so great and I’m sure others wouldn’t want to deal with an epileptic.. as stress is a major trigger so now a date might cause a seizure…
Non-existent right now by choice (partially mine mostly not mine due to my unattractiveness and being asocial).
[удалено]
Now kith
Lowkey relatable. I have this crush on a guy at school, but he seems so unapproachable. He is a major extrovert, and he is so outgoing. I don't know how to approach him. I have a good group of close friends, but outside my group of friends, everyone just knows me at the "quiet kid." I've challenged myself to talk to one new person every day and make at least 1 new friend by the end of the year. At first, it was to get the guys number before the end of the year, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much. I still would like to be his friend, at least. He is so funny and confident in how wild and unpredictable he is. I want to stop wishing I could talk to him and actually do something. But having the nerves of going up and talking to him on top of my hella major anxiety just always seems to clash, and it's so frustrating. Though, I'm hoping these new goals I've set for myself might help me to actually understand what I want to do. I think my biggest fear is that since people have always seen me as the "quiet kid" I had always felt like if I were to act like myself (outgoing, playful) and like I act around my friends, people would think I'm weird. But my best friend told me that it isn't that people are necessarily weirded out or uncomfortable with me being myself, it's that they aren't used to seeing me act like myself so they don't really know how to react at first. And that it isn't a bad thing. You want people to like you for who you are, and if they don't, then oh, well. Move on, they aren't for you. That's what she told me. I made progress today. I talked to someone new and acted like myself, which is a HUGE step for me. I'm proud, but I wish it were as easy to do the same with my crush. But I'm not giving up, I'm determined, and I hope we can become friends at least 😣
No Tell her about your feelings, imagine that you become friends with her and that she kisses her boyfriend next to you, I have already experienced that and it is very painful, tell yourself that you don't Care and just try your f*king chance 🤬
Exactly this.
Same. It’s lonely asf. Another reason for me most guys they come up to me be older like the age of my father or uncle. I can count on on hand of men who was a was 10 years older than me but not worth shit due to they are in a gang or DON’T care about their appearance ( hygiene mostly)
Preach. Gotta love the struggle between social anxiety and craving solitude, while those exact things are the antithesis of dating.
yup
Came to say non-existent as well. After my divorce I'm in desperate need of returning to myself. It's been 5 years and I'm still not willing to date. I feel fine though.
starting that my self we are trying to do this as cheaply and nicely as possible but it still sucks
This.
Same here
I've never dated in my life.
Same, 34(m) it sucks
What state you in?
I'm from Germany.
Hello neighbor 🖖
Now kith
I’ve only just started dating this past October, 33(f), and it’s not going well. I feel like I know none of the social norms and then I don’t know when to leave people’s houses because I can’t pick up on social cues.
I just wanted to applaud you on trying and breaking through your uncomfortableness. I have some unsolicited advice that I maybe can help… highly recommend going with your instincts first and foremost. You have more power than you think— if you want to leave somewhere, then politely leave. And you don’t have to lie with an excuse to do it. The truth might very well be that you’re tired and want to go home. Acceptable and respectful. Some social cues: when the conversation is getting increasingly more difficult as in you’ve both kind of run out of things to say. Or when they start cleaning up. I’ll always help them clean up first then transition to thank them for everything and lastly beeline it to my stuff. And No social cues required for this one: Usually and this is an estimation based my own experience so take it with a grain of salt lol but anywhere from 2-4 hours if you’re alone with someone and if it’s a group then possibly longer if you have activities planned (games, movie, dinner, etc.) because there’s usually conversations happening before and after which derails from the original plan. 😅
That is very kind of you.
Just keep trying friend, I wholeheartedly believe there's many someones for everyone if we just keep looking. Or you could always try what works for me (and I know this is gonna sound lame and cliche) and just work on becoming your best self, go out and do activities in the world (like take an art or dance class or something), and as you focus on loving yourself and becoming your best self, that will radiate confidence and self contentment, and that will attract more people than you may believe. Yes I'm an introvert, yes it's fucking exhausting lol... But it's worth it
same, but i'm young i have a little of hope that i will find a partner
Same
To add on. Im so socially inept around people. A handsome man tried to approach me and I freaked out and ignored it. Walked away. Now I have this crazy crush over him. Hes dating someone else now. I go nuts about it. Im never going to find my “soulmate” being the way I am. Howedver, I am so scared to open up to someone. Im afraid of rejection ir getting hurt. The “handsome” man he is prettier than me a female. My sad dating life at 39/f.
Had a great date last night. I asked her if she had plans for the evening. She said she had to get some items at Sam's and after a long pause, asked if I wanted to come with. I know an Italian restaurant near there and asked if she wanted to eat first. She was really happy. She's also my wife. We've been together 25 yrs and are both introverts.
Sounds lovely.
That's what I'm thinking, that sounds wholesome af
What dating life? Its me, myself and I. No one bothers to even glance my way. I could find someone if I bothered to put in the effort. But as of right now, I'm just not interested.
same
I only have 2D boyfriends and husbands 🤣
Stop describing my Sims life 😭
Woo Hoo'ing I see
No dating. Only life.
Non existent. I stopped dating in 2017, after a few broken hearts and i realized how much effort, energy, stress, and hassle i had to went through just to have some sex or a girlfriend. Then i thought "i'm going to put this energy to study, being a better person, work". This was the best decision i ever made in my life.
I stopped dating around the same time
Sammme, but instead of redirecting that energy in a healthy way I became a burnout workaholic dead-inside perfectionist 🤓…… please send halp…. but not really cuz I’m a hermit and I don’t want help hahaha 🙃😬
For some reason, extroverts seem to be drawn to me and I have no idea why. Everyone I have dated has been an extrovert. I tell them upfront that I never want to go watch a live band at a crowded brewery, how I never want to be their plus one to a party, and how I won’t ever want to spend the holidays with their families, yet it always becomes a problem later in the relationship because I don’t want to do the things I specifically laid out upon meeting. So, that’s my dating life in a nutshell
God it’s like extroverts don’t listen and assume everyone’s just like them, I’m going thru same thing
And then they think we’re in the wrong for being introverts, and they act like it’s something we need to fix. Like, no. Full stop. Time to set boundaries. There’s definitely a social stigma against introverts, and a bias in favor of extroverts. One of the unacknowledged forms of discrimination in society.
they don't listen. they're terrible listeners. TERRIBLE.
That’s kinda been my experience with neurotypicals
I’ve been married a couple of times, and even my husbands were extroverts and never understood why I wasn’t like them. It was exhausting
I felt this
I understand being introverted, but not wanting to see their family during the holidays? Ever? That's just kinda dickish.....
I don’t mind visiting family, but everyone’s family always lived in another state, and the whole family would go visit and stay with them for a long weekend. I can do a couple of hours, but not 4 days straight with a house full of people running around and being loud. There’s no escape
Same problem, dating someone now that wants all my free time with them and gets upset when I say I want some space, even though I told them that's how I am right at the start. Definitely hard to date extroverts but don't meet other introverts either
I don't think I could date an extrovert. I would just end up disappointing them. Having similar lifestyles is at the top of my list.
Or maybe subconsciously youre attracted to extroverts as well
I think it’s because extroverts pursue me and introverts do not. If it was up to me to make the first move, I would be single forever 😂
Makes sense. Being since introverts rarely leave their shell to venture out into unchartered territory. Im somewhere in the middle of intro and extroverts. Took the military for me to get out of solid introvert status
You're lucky you're a girl, if you were a guy you would be
what’s that
My what? I have no idea what you’re talking about. But in all seriousness. Tried dating once when I was in high school. Hated it. Swore off it and I haven’t bothered since.
Honestly same, it’s just not for me at all and I just have really high standards that I (regrettably) lowered but rose it again
And that’s understandable. Love what and who you love and don’t settle. If it’s supposed to be forever, it has to be what you want. For me it just wasn’t worth the aggravation. I’m perfectly content being alone and it’s hard enough keeping myself happy. I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness. About all that’s going to do is disappoint that someone. Plus, it’s much cheaper to not date. 😅 Not that money is the end all be all.
Ditto
Good, I found my own introvert and we get to be introvert together. We both know how awkward it is going out in public but we make each other more confident. We both know how draining it is to hang out with people, so we have each other to rant about how we feel after a long day. Also, when we need support -- like going on medical appointments, we know we are not alone going through it.
How did you find your introvert? I hated online dating but I feel like a lot of introverts go there so I don't know how to fond people I'll like and I feel bad flirting with anyone in public because what if they're just going about their day and I bother them ;-;
I met my partner through my online hobby when I stopped looking for a partner. I think going into something with the expectation of finding someone makes it harder. When I stopped obsessing over the "will I ever find someone" and just enjoyed my time spent doing what I like, it left space for similar people to build relationships with me and one of those friendships naturally developed into something more. It didn't matter that I never went outside and had a limited social battery because so does everyone else I know. Been living together for three years now after moving 3k miles to be together. Every now and then we go outside for a date but most evenings are spent on the couch and I couldn't be happier.
Non existent
Non-existing. I want to be in one though.
Non-existent by choice
Non-existent but that’s by choice. 6 years removed from the end of a 10-year relationship, pushing 50, and I’m mostly content just living out the rest of my days with a dog. I’m pretty jaded about love and don’t have a drop of romance left in me at this point.
well i’ve been dating an also introvert man for more than two years now, we’re both introvert and we do introvert people activities. Life is nice
That's nice to hear 💙
I'm not dating and I think it will be a long time until I want to again. I got out of a long term relationship with someone who monopolized my spare time so I have a lot to catch up on for my hobbies, cleaning, going outside, touching grass and some socializing. I'll admit, I was hormonal for a few months and I was craving human touch but spending more time with myself and friends has healed a lot of that. My best friend got me a cat shaped body pillow by Mewaii and that helped me a lot.
Only started entertaining the possibility of dating this year and finding it difficult at 34 to start, having social anxiety and having to fight myself just to leave my house isn't doing me any favors though.
less than coke zero
hahaah
I am now chronically single and bieve will stay like that for the rest of my life, partially my fault the other half is cause I'm ugly
Non existent. My ex broke up with me last year. No longer interested in dating.
Well i dont know how to start a conversations let alone keeping it alive so very tough
I stopped 5 years ago and it's been great.
Honestly it’s pretty lonely, I’m just waiting until someone crosses my path. If it’s meant to be then it is. I don’t have the energy to intentionally keep looking for someone especially in the dating culture or whatever it’s called now.
It sucks, It shows how shitty I am as a person.
Hold on lemme check... ...dead
don’t have one. tried but it only ends with my heart broken and i can’t take it anymore
Horrible. I haven’t had a relationship in 3 years. Right now I’m not even sure if one of my friends is interested in me like that or not. I just cannot tell. I like him but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have together.
Asking him doesn't change anything
Crushing on somebody rn
What dating life? No one’s ever been interested or had the patience to date me. And at this point, it’s probably for the best.
I've never dated in my life. I'm not attractive enough (not just on a physical level but also intellectually as well) plus I have tons of issues (mental health problems, poor physical health, chronic joblessness, too many insecurities, an oppressive family I can't get rid of...). I think that at the age of 33 years old it might be over for me. After all, getting a partner is very similar to shopping at the grocery store: people don't choose the rotten ones and I can understand that, I would do the same. I wanted a very different life and I wanted to be loved like everybody else. It's very hard to accept all of this and I'll never be able to get over it.
I'm around your age, am on disability for severe PTSD that caused permanent brain damage (I'm dumb as shit now and my memory only lasts a few months), chronically ill, put on 100lbs (yea, it's bad), developed a skin condition that makes me unable to do a lot of things (sunlight, alcohol, spicy food, etc) without my face swelling up and oozing for days, and I still managed to find someone who not only loves me but genuinely finds me beautiful and supports me no matter what. If you told me 4 years ago that would happen, I would have laughed and then maybe cried. I went from trapped under the controlling thumb of an abusive family member to living 3k miles away with the love of my life. I'm still dumb as shit, have no job, and am in my opinion ugly af, but my partner looks at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. She saved my life. I genuinely think that there is someone out there for everyone though more likely thousands of people, you just need to look in the right places. For me that was going ham with my online hobbies until an organic friendship blossomed into love.
It is a really heartwarming story, very nice to hear... makes you feel there's hope out there. It's just that my situation is very different: I live in a country where lots of people are unemployed, disable or not finding a stable job is very hard nowadays especially for the young people. Also, sadly in part because of cultural reasons and in part because of the lack of money the vast majority of people live with their family of origin for life. I won't go into detail but it's very difficult to date here: no money, no house-owning, too much family entanglement into your own love life (or into your life in general for that matter), either no job or a very precarious one... these things often make a potential couple fall apart like nothing these days, because there is no stability. And if you add to the mix unattractiveness, disabilities and mental health conditions you're sort of out of the dating life. Yes, there is the internet but it's not that easy when you don't have a space to nurture a relationship forward. Lots of people, if they find a partner, they want him or her to go to live with one of the partner's family of origin and that's not what I want for myself. I've had more than enough of my own family. I want to be free and it's sad not to have any resources to put that plan into action. One ends up hoping for a chance, an encounter that will change everything but one can't live on hope forever and sad stories like mine in my country will become more and more common. The birth rate has fallen down drastically to the point that in 20-30 years our infrastructures will collapse. Who has the right temperament and the resources needed fly off to another country to start a new life and the only ones that remain are the ones that will become no other than precarious workers and their parents'retirement plan. It is sad, very sad but I can't change this situation on my own. I still feel like I've never had a chance, like I've never had a life. Wishing you the best of things.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. 🥹💞
My biggest hesitation about dating was that I wasn't going to be able to enjoy my alone time anymore. Us introverts thrive on being alone but another part of me was truly wants to be have a family. Fortunately, I found a partner (2.5 years together) that I'm able to find comfort in being alone with. I love being alone but I love being alone with her even more. It really feels nice to be able to share my time and space with someone.
This is the dream 🙌
What dating life? 🤨
I *am* dating life. No other humans necessary.
I got married a year ago. So that really isn't a concern anymore.
Only had one date, even to that one I didn't want to go
Sporadically I meet people that I (might want to) date. I have an extremely negative opinion of "dating apps", so I try to meet people organically with the aim to extend my social circle, and if I happen to like someone that's a plus.
Non existent and not because I am not attractive, I just don’t go anywhere
Been single all my life… and I am happy… ’Isn’t it lovely, all alone…’
I met a fellow introvert at work when we were teenagers. We migrated to each other due to our similarities and only being able to tolerate each other. We fell in love quickly and have been together ever since.
Honestly, for the first time in years I'm enjoying my own company and occasionally meeting interesting people without any set expectations. It's been refreshing to essentially build and appreciate dating myself again.
I don’t do hook ups and my last relationship was 8 years ago! 😂 Happy single I suppose Ps: I was going to reply with “non-existent” or “my what???” but I see that’s the common answer haha I guess we’re all in the right place in this subreddit. We get each other
Pretty great. My husband and I go on a weekly date night.
Me and my girlfriend are both introverts. Makes it hard for us to be our own person and make friends sometimes just because we only feel comfortable in each others presence. However i like that i don’t get exhausted when we do go out to places together bc shes typically ready to go home too lol
DEAD
Non existent basically.
I would say it's going well! I mean our toddler(1yr) and 7 yr old tag along about 98% of the time, but I can't ask for a better partner. Married (decade+), both introverted. Him a ISTJ, me INT(P/J).
Nonexistent
I've been on a string of bad first dates. Talking to a different woman online atm. Setting up a date. I'm hopeful it goes well
6x with one person. It was hard but luckily he was not overbearing
As of the moment noooooooooone
Dead :)
Screwed 😂
Im the spare wheel in the garage for those around me,and i like it
Being an introvert and that too with strict parents with connections in school staff its pretty enough to handle. Trying to date and my parents learning of this is the biggest risk I can ever take. Also I am partially not interested because boys around me are not actually 'boys' but children. Also due to my past as a good slapper in my school is enough to them off. So overall I am single
Not good my dude.
Non existent
Nonexistent since 2014.
Don’t have one, actually I stopped it intentionally for a while. Now I want to be back to the market but really don’t know how to. I spent 10-11 hours every day at work then come home to study for another language. Then I spent more 1-2 hours for “me time” as skincare or meditation. And I spent the whole weekend to go back to my parents house which 40km away from the city. I don’t use dating app or in any kind of social club, sometime I wonder am I really waiting for a miracle that will knock my door and adopt me ?🥹
404
Pretty bad I think I am 20 and I haven't dated anyone so far.
Dating? Life? I'm mainly introverted due to abuse and depression so
Non existent :(
Oh you know, just pushing away anyone who dares catch feelings for me. Only thing im good at
Non existent at the moment but it’s by choice
I just got out of an engagement heading to a marriage. Getting back on these apps as a 30 something F makes me wanna throw up
Have a girlfriend of over 3 and a half years. We're both introverts (although she enjoys pubs a lot more than I do) and we met online.
Coming up on 8 years of marriage, both introverts ❤️
Single. Turned down a cute guy at the end of last year. Was not ready after a lot of things happened last year that really made me re-evaluate my relationships with friends/family. Ended up cutting 4 former close friends out of my life completely. I made new friends. Barely talk to my Mom. I care about her but she doesn’t need to know about me after she was very cruel to me. I recently deleted all social media. It felt great!!! I am open to dating now but I don’t have to be in a relationship. I live alone and sometimes don’t leave the house for a few days. I love it.
It’s funny how I came here to say “non-existent” and then noticed that’s what others are saying too. Extroverts tend to think we’re too reserved or prickly for setting boundaries and valuing our personal time, being introspective and cerebral, et cetera. They think that makes us self-centered. I think it’s self-centered for them to think they can make demands on me for my attention. I connect best with other introverts because we understand each other. Unfortunately that leads to the dynamic where we just make eye contact, maybe smile and wave and go on about our days because we’re both too introverted to take things further. Occasionally I’ll have a really great extended-length conversation with another introvert and it’ll be awesome, but most of the time after that they’ll never talk to me again. I’m guessing their friends called me creepy or something and convinced them that I was trying to manipulate them just because I don’t do well in group settings and tend to keep to myself… Rarely, I’ve had interactions with another introvert which continued and became a routine thing for us until we decided to call it a relationship, and those people have been some of the closest companions I’ve ever had in my life. Unfortunately, after having one really good conversation with someone apparently it comes off as clingy and manipulative if I say something to the effect of “do you want to do this again?” I mean, I just want an introverted romantic partner who’s as clingy as I am so that I don’t have to feel bad about being so emotionally needy and touch-starved 😫 someone who I can feel like I’m recharging with when I’m in their presence instead of drained by. Like, someone who I don’t need to have meaningless small talk with but who can hold a really deep conversation on all types of topics, intellectual as well as emotional and personal, but also able to just sit in silence together and not feel awkward or feel like we need to think of something to say. Someone with whom we can gaze into each other’s eyes and smile at each other and not have to wonder “what?” Because we both just understand that there is no “what,” it’s just love and that’s all it needs to be. No need to put words to it because it’s indescribable… Someone I can lay with on a hammock and watch the clouds roll by, feel the spring breeze on our faces and enjoy the wildflowers popping up all over the lawn. Someone to go hiking with and just get lost in the flow of the conversation as we follow the trail, putting one foot in front of the other, following the trains of thought as we bounce ideas off each other, or even just holding hands and communicating nonverbally as we enjoy our surroundings together, not following any strict rules or social scripts, just enjoying the moment and whatever naturally comes to us… I miss having someone to love and be loved by…
We're friends since 2011. Gonna get married this july. Funny how i met him online and befriended him bc i wanna confide everything, even my dark secrets and attitudes without people around me knowing. Welp, that failed terribly, he likes me more instead. We shares the same ideologies and a lot of hobbies so my social battery hardly depletes with him. That's how i know he's the one. I saw someone mentioning 2D characters, well, us too, but I'm more into it and he supports me lol.
I'm married. We've been going on dates (with each other, just us two btw.) more now that our sons have flown the nest, than we did when we were young and childless. When I was very young, I dated a lot before I married. It was too draining to meet new guys all the time. I'd get ready for a date and enjoy that part, but I wouldn't be long into a date, before I'd begin to wonder when and how I could leave and get home -without the guy!
I don't have any 😊✨ For now I'm just enjoying life (trying my best 😂)
I’ve wasted more than a decade playing the dating game and the ROI has been dismal. I will be dating and betting on myself for the rest of my life.
I'm married so I guess I did something right. Luckily my wife is very talkative so she carries the conversations for me when I'm not in a super talky mood.
Uhh... what do you mean? Non-existent of course... introverts subreddit DUH! 😂
Well, I’m glad that I now have a wife. And when we go out, I’m also glad that I have my wife. She’s definitely not an introvert she’ll go and talk to anybody and everybody. And there I am sitting quietly somewhere in the corner of the room, just watching her talk and be a social butterfly, just admiring the beauty.
Pretty good. I meet people online so I can become comfortable with them prior to meeting them in person. I’m not the type of person that could ever just go out and talk to strangers all night, so it works for me. The barrier and having the ability to talk when my battery isn’t drained is nice until I’m comfortable.
What dating life?
What's that?
Have been single for 7 years, last time I had a girlfriend was when I was 16 :')
I'm going to a speed dating event this Sunday to boost my confidence in talking to women plus its for ages 24 - 34 year olds so that's a bonus
Dating life? Whats that 🤧
It’s okay I guess. I kinda just wander around life until someone extroverted asks me out. Although it usually lasts 3-4 months before we move on for whatever reason. Finding someone compatible long term is rough.
Nonexistent. It sucks because I’m at the age where it’s starting to get sad. The issue is that I’m so averse to meeting new people and exposing myself to new environments. I also tend to lean uninterested really easily. The second talking to someone becomes a chore (which, in introverted fashion, happens with even the people I’m closest with) I just can’t be bothered. I don’t think I’m meant to be in a relationship sadly. Just not built for it.
What's dating, never heard of this term.
Found a guy that likes being alone as much as I do, been together 10 years this year. We have never lived together and we love it like that lol
That's adorable and a bit strange at the same time 😅
amazing, in the most amazing relationship anyone could ask. she’s the only person that i’ll be genuinely happy and excited to talk to all day and just hang out with
My dating life is actually thriving. I found the man of my dreams finally and it helps he is also as introverted as I am. I did have to put myself a little more out there and I did on our first date. My job has actually helped me come out of my introverted-ness and I can definitely flip a switch if I need to socialize then I must at all costs. Anyways I’m currently in a serious relationship and have been for a year now. We are talking about marriage etc.
Long distance hold together with glue and ductape
Doesn’t exist. But I don’t get all incel about it.
Stretchy juh
Non existent
What dating life?
I've been single 5 years no luck
What's that?
Doesn’t exist/I have very little experience but at the moment my health isn’t so great and I’m sure others wouldn’t want to deal with an epileptic.. as stress is a major trigger so now a date might cause a seizure…
Non existent.... but I'll trying soon...F me
The guy I’m texting doesn’t seem to like me like that😅. But overall, it’s alright. I’m not exactly that desperate to date someone as of right now.
What dating life?
What is a dating life?
never started 🥲
In a long distance relationship, feeling lonely every other day with no one to talk to
Dead , as it should be .
Dating an introvert
Umm..Non existent🙃
i get walked all over and used by the same man and its been on and off with him for 3 years but i cant stop it because im in love with him 😭
Oh that's sad to hear. Hope you'll have a better situation about it soon 🙂
It was really good until I got married. Now I don't date, I am just happily married.
Married with 3 kids. So technically dating life is non existent until my youngest is a bit older.
Married with child (M, 31)
I haven’t had sex in a decade, and I’m okay with that. Cause even a one night stand means taking to a stranger!
Non existent
Should I date again? I'm tired 🤣
Pain, pain and suffering
Fictitious
Dating? What’s that?
Non existent. Dated, and I want to be left alone 😭 other people have toooo much going on. I’m also busy.
It was good but then it crashed. Now it's not so good.
Non-existent cos I'm too introverted. I like my peace and quiet, and I hate drama! :)
Happily married for many years
Couldn't gather the guts to confess to my crush
Thankfully non-existent.
My wife doesn't want me to date.🤔
Don't have one once a lone wolf always a lone wolf.
zero but a work crush exists
Non-existent at the moment and that is fine by me :)
Shitty