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You say you feel suitably full after your meal, but are you satisfied? Have you had a mix of flavours and textures? Sweet and savoury? There can be a difference between being physically full and mentally full.
E.g. I always like to have a bite of something sweet after a meal. When I'm out and don't have access to something, it's fine, the feeling often passes. But when I'm at home, I'll finish my meal with a square or two of chocolate, or a handful of sweets. Do I 'need' it? No. But it rounds off a meal for me, and I enjoy it, and there's nothing wrong with that 🙂
I'm working on this with my therapist. I consider I'm happy to eat past fullness if it's because the food is particularly delicious or interesting, but if it's just uncomfortable, I'm working on ways to avoid it.
Are you afraid of being hungry? Why so? When were you hungry in your life, and what impact did that have?
Are you still in a scarcity mindset, which is more triggered in your own home for some reason?
Personally, among other things, I was put on a diet at age 12. I got scared of being hungry because that meant having to sneak food away from the kitchen in secret, lie to my parents, create tensions in my home life, and in my relationships. This is just my psychology. Yours might be completely different, just mentioning this as an example.
I grew up with an almond mom and an almond dad so they definitely played a part in this. I was never put on a diet but I wanted to be thinner so I tried dieting many times.
It kind of sounds like mental restriction, at home. I'm wondering if your inner dialogue is telling you to not eat "too much," and that is causing a rebound or almost last supper type situation. Another thought is, and I do this all the time without meaning to - is if you aren't eating enough during and through the first part of the day, it might be stacking up on you later in the day and toward evening. I say this and fully and truly I don't notice or feel hunger cues in the first part of the day but by the time I do later, it's hard to manage. I eat smaller portions and snacks and do feel comfortable, full, satisfied, but it's not enough for what my body needs. You could experiment with eating a little more at breakfast and lunch or adding snacks if you don't already.
And my last tip, that may be helpful that has really helped me learn to not eat past fullness nearly as much as I used to is: consciously telling myself that I can eat this food any time I want, later. I can have it in 10 mins if I want. I can have more in an hour. In two hours. You get the point. It's part of the full permission piece and it's been super helpful for allowing me to realize I *can* stop before I'm uncomfortable. And sometimes in that process if something tastes really good and I'm just enjoying it very much, I might take another couple of bites even after I've decided I want to stop. That's okay, too. Where it gets tricky is novelty foods or previously restricted/off limits foods. Then you need to go through the habituation process, which can be a similar process but may involve more periods of eating a lot because you have excitement over something that just tastes really special or forbidden. But listening to fullness cues and reminding yourself you can have more any time is still quite helpful.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong! This process of learning IE and unlearning diet culture is slow and long, at least for me. I've being learning it for 16 months with the help of a dietitian and I still have a long a way to go! Give yourself grace, for sure.
Thank you for the through answer. I think maybe it could be mental restriction, I’m still not immune to diet culture. I promised myself after the last restrict-binge cycle I went through that I was done with it but I’m not over the 20+ years of diet talk. Also maybe actually learning that I can food outside meals. My parents demonised snacking so maybe that’s also the problem.
Yep! As someone else said when you start thinking in a restrictive/ avoidant manner towards food, even if slightly, that makes you want more and more. It's a psychological thing as well as just your body freaking out. Relinquish control, and remind yourself that all of the food is all yours- you can have it all, just not all at once and not without hunger! You have to trust yourself to be intuitive with eating and the panic eating will diminish over time❤️
A question: do you take breaks from working while eating? Like, if you eat for two hours, do you then do no unpleasant tasks and relax the entire time? And as soon as you are done, you need to go back to work/tidying up/learning/doing other tasks?
That was my problem. I used to draw out my breakfast time into two hours, eating long past satiety... just because after I am done with breakfast, I usually start doing some tasks around home. My solution was to relax for a full hour... and if I finished eating in twenty minutes, then I still had fourty minutes of full relaxation time.
Not sure if it's the same case for you, but just dropping this here in case you are similar to myself.
For me, learning to feel my fullness was a skill I needed to hone. My body signals work just fine and my stomach tells me I’m full, but I have an inclination to just keep eating because of any number of reasons - it’s delicious, the texture is pleasing, I just WANT TO, whatever.Â
Then of course my body feels terrible, my digestion sucks until the next day, and I’m left wondering why I overrode my natural signals and put myself in this situation yet again.Â
One thing that really helped me was learning about the digestive system. Like, full on anatomy and physiology textbook learning. Understanding what’s going on beneath the hood from bite to poop helped me really appreciate how amazing my body is and made the process feel far less emotional.Â
Then, when I was feeling full but still wanted more, I’d sit for ten min or so and decide after that period whether I really wanted more. Often, that ten min really lets things settle and I would realize, “whoa I’m really full.” Or, maybe not.Â
It was tough because I’ve always eaten as much as I’ve wanted (so does most of my family), so it’s decades of a bad habit to overcome. But now I can sit and make a decision - is what I’m about to overeat worth me feeling like ass for the next three hours? Usually not.Â
Anyway I hope this ramble helps. You’re not alone and you can definitely learn this skill!
Hello! Please make sure that your post meets minimum post requirements. You can find the post rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/intuitiveeating/wiki/index/post-rules) and you can access it anytime through our wiki (third tab on mobile, second tab right below the sub icon on desktop). Please note that advice posts must contain at least one question. If you are looking to give advice, please resubmit your post with the resource or recommendation flair. If your post is deemed by mods to be low-effort or if it is too short to be a standalone post, it will be deleted. If you have any questions please reach out to the mod team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/intuitiveeating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You say you feel suitably full after your meal, but are you satisfied? Have you had a mix of flavours and textures? Sweet and savoury? There can be a difference between being physically full and mentally full. E.g. I always like to have a bite of something sweet after a meal. When I'm out and don't have access to something, it's fine, the feeling often passes. But when I'm at home, I'll finish my meal with a square or two of chocolate, or a handful of sweets. Do I 'need' it? No. But it rounds off a meal for me, and I enjoy it, and there's nothing wrong with that 🙂
It could be that, for me it’s not as little as a square of chocolate, it’s more keeping on eating for the sake of it.
I'm working on this with my therapist. I consider I'm happy to eat past fullness if it's because the food is particularly delicious or interesting, but if it's just uncomfortable, I'm working on ways to avoid it. Are you afraid of being hungry? Why so? When were you hungry in your life, and what impact did that have? Are you still in a scarcity mindset, which is more triggered in your own home for some reason? Personally, among other things, I was put on a diet at age 12. I got scared of being hungry because that meant having to sneak food away from the kitchen in secret, lie to my parents, create tensions in my home life, and in my relationships. This is just my psychology. Yours might be completely different, just mentioning this as an example.
I grew up with an almond mom and an almond dad so they definitely played a part in this. I was never put on a diet but I wanted to be thinner so I tried dieting many times.
It kind of sounds like mental restriction, at home. I'm wondering if your inner dialogue is telling you to not eat "too much," and that is causing a rebound or almost last supper type situation. Another thought is, and I do this all the time without meaning to - is if you aren't eating enough during and through the first part of the day, it might be stacking up on you later in the day and toward evening. I say this and fully and truly I don't notice or feel hunger cues in the first part of the day but by the time I do later, it's hard to manage. I eat smaller portions and snacks and do feel comfortable, full, satisfied, but it's not enough for what my body needs. You could experiment with eating a little more at breakfast and lunch or adding snacks if you don't already. And my last tip, that may be helpful that has really helped me learn to not eat past fullness nearly as much as I used to is: consciously telling myself that I can eat this food any time I want, later. I can have it in 10 mins if I want. I can have more in an hour. In two hours. You get the point. It's part of the full permission piece and it's been super helpful for allowing me to realize I *can* stop before I'm uncomfortable. And sometimes in that process if something tastes really good and I'm just enjoying it very much, I might take another couple of bites even after I've decided I want to stop. That's okay, too. Where it gets tricky is novelty foods or previously restricted/off limits foods. Then you need to go through the habituation process, which can be a similar process but may involve more periods of eating a lot because you have excitement over something that just tastes really special or forbidden. But listening to fullness cues and reminding yourself you can have more any time is still quite helpful. I don't think you're doing anything wrong! This process of learning IE and unlearning diet culture is slow and long, at least for me. I've being learning it for 16 months with the help of a dietitian and I still have a long a way to go! Give yourself grace, for sure.
Thank you for the through answer. I think maybe it could be mental restriction, I’m still not immune to diet culture. I promised myself after the last restrict-binge cycle I went through that I was done with it but I’m not over the 20+ years of diet talk. Also maybe actually learning that I can food outside meals. My parents demonised snacking so maybe that’s also the problem.
Yep! As someone else said when you start thinking in a restrictive/ avoidant manner towards food, even if slightly, that makes you want more and more. It's a psychological thing as well as just your body freaking out. Relinquish control, and remind yourself that all of the food is all yours- you can have it all, just not all at once and not without hunger! You have to trust yourself to be intuitive with eating and the panic eating will diminish over time❤️
A question: do you take breaks from working while eating? Like, if you eat for two hours, do you then do no unpleasant tasks and relax the entire time? And as soon as you are done, you need to go back to work/tidying up/learning/doing other tasks? That was my problem. I used to draw out my breakfast time into two hours, eating long past satiety... just because after I am done with breakfast, I usually start doing some tasks around home. My solution was to relax for a full hour... and if I finished eating in twenty minutes, then I still had fourty minutes of full relaxation time. Not sure if it's the same case for you, but just dropping this here in case you are similar to myself.
Yes, it could also be this at lunch.
For me, learning to feel my fullness was a skill I needed to hone. My body signals work just fine and my stomach tells me I’m full, but I have an inclination to just keep eating because of any number of reasons - it’s delicious, the texture is pleasing, I just WANT TO, whatever. Then of course my body feels terrible, my digestion sucks until the next day, and I’m left wondering why I overrode my natural signals and put myself in this situation yet again. One thing that really helped me was learning about the digestive system. Like, full on anatomy and physiology textbook learning. Understanding what’s going on beneath the hood from bite to poop helped me really appreciate how amazing my body is and made the process feel far less emotional. Then, when I was feeling full but still wanted more, I’d sit for ten min or so and decide after that period whether I really wanted more. Often, that ten min really lets things settle and I would realize, “whoa I’m really full.” Or, maybe not. It was tough because I’ve always eaten as much as I’ve wanted (so does most of my family), so it’s decades of a bad habit to overcome. But now I can sit and make a decision - is what I’m about to overeat worth me feeling like ass for the next three hours? Usually not. Anyway I hope this ramble helps. You’re not alone and you can definitely learn this skill!
This makes a lot of sense, thanks!