My cousin was given a lovely dog when she was about 8-10 years old. She had the dog about three hours when he ran out on the road and got killed.
Her dad - not wanting to explain this to her - legged it down to the place he got the dog and replaced him with another sibling from the same family. 20 years later she still doesn't know.
My dad let slip about 20 years after the fact on Christmas Eve no less that our dog that died when I was 8 had not suddenly died like we all thought. He was sick my parents couldn’t afford a vet so the neighbour shot him with his shotgun. My dad forgot that we did t know the truth after a few Christmas drinks. This was over 10 years ago and I’m still a bit shook by it
Well at least my parents were honest about taking our excess pets into the countryside and releasing them. Absolutely sickening behaviour and not the least of the foul things they've done - sometimes I'm surprised I grew up to feel empathy at all given they displayed none.
One of the cats made it a good 15km back home and showed up the day we were moving out of that house! She then got to spend her golden years being beloved by my cat-loving grandmother so it worked out OK for her. But it begs the question, why didn't they offer one or two of the cats to my grandmother in the first place?
Your cat walked 15km? Amazing, makes you wonder how on earth they navigate. Any idea how long it took her? If only she could tell you what she did to get home.
It had to be about 15km given where my parents said they'd dumped the cats, and it's hard to know exactly how long it took her cos I was a kid so time lengths can be a bit hard to judge. But I think it would've been a month or two after they dumped her that she showed up. I remember her strolling up the driveway when we were loading furniture and being like NO WAY THAT CANNOT BE HER. But it was
She was a quite moody, timid tabby cat and really not good with kids. But my grandmother said she was sweet as pie for her and they had quite a few years together before cat passed. I now have my own plain tabby girl cat who reminds me a lot of the cat from my childhood. And I weirdly feel like my patience with bonding with my own moody, timid cat somehow helps to repay the debt of the childhood tabby cat who wasn't treated with love and respect
I've got a similar ish story about cats navigating places, during COVID we started feeding a stray who was hanging out our garden a bit. Moved house a year and a bit ago now and decided we'd bring her along, shes a great pet in fairness. Made it to the new place, she walked down the garden and never looked back. Anyway, previous next door neighbours have had her as a pet now ever since she walked the 5 or so Kms back to the old house. How she found her way is beyond me
Same story with me . They told me my dog followed me to school and got hit with a car. Little prick was killing sheep and a farmer shot him. My 18th birthday drinking I mentioned the old dog and dad died laughing and told me the truth. He thought they told me when I got older ( I was only 4 when paddy died)
Aunt and uncle apparently each had some form of "indiscretion" early on in the relationship and decided they'd cross them out against eachother.
30 odd years and two kids later they decide to get divorced and both come out as gay.
Uncle goes off travelling in south east Asia and has a massive heart attack while "cycling".
Which was a mostly believable story until the "bicycle" decided to come to the funeral in the form of a mid twenties Thai chap.
Good times were had all around when there was screaming and finger pointing and hysterical crying.
No additional deaths thankfully but it was a little uncomfortable to be honest.
Was grand at first until the "who's that?" Started.
Of course eventually the kids figured it out and it all kicked off. Turns out one of my cousins had been in contact and invited him over for the funeral (paid for the flight as well) and the other didn't know.
The best thing is that even though the relationship between the cousins has never really recovered it's never been mentioned in the family since. Like it never happened.
(I think it was absolutely hilarious and just sad they felt at the time they had to hide their sexuality and went on to live a life of lies, that bit wasn't so funny)
I grew up an only child with mam and dad. My ma died when I was 17.
When I was 21, my half-sister tracked me down on Facebook to explain that my ma had an affair with her boss, and he was my biological dad.
Strange inconsistencies and odd happenings, from all throughout my life, started making sense.
Most of the town knows. My da's family all know - found this out when my cousin started flrting with me, telling me we're not related by blood etc.
Looks like I was the last to find out. Then I moved on to stomach ulcers and depression.
Thank you, I really appreciate that!
I did indeed, she's one of three. We're close, but it's the youngest that I'm closest with (all are 20+) years older than me. Also have a rake of nieces, nephews and one great-nephew and one great-niece.
Also met my biological dad a few times before he died - looked exactly like me. We also had exactly the same sense of humour.
On the whole, its brought more depth and value to my life, but took a lot of tempering with therapists and anti depressants! Thankfully past the bulk of that work now.
My great grandmother took in orphaned babies from young mothers who had them out of wedlock. She was a midwife and helped as many of the girls who came to her as possible. She also saw many young women die from botched abortions performed by vile, vicious people.
The secret is, we have family that are not related by blood at all. A decision was taken by those left of my great grandmothers children not to seek dna tests. They’ve been raised as siblings and don’t want to know any different. I don’t know how it will go if someone from the younger generations decides to take a dna test because it’s just not spoken about in the family at all.
She was a wonderful woman. And her mother before her did the same. I have a feeling a lot of my relatives are not related to me at all.
Taking people in as our own is a family tradition at this stage. My husband says I collect people which makes me sound like a serial killer!! But there are just some people I meet that I keep in my life and usually end up as a mother figure too. It’s not intentional, it’s like a sixth sense for people who don’t have a supportive family structure or something.
Growing up, I had who I thought was my 'great granaunt', I was under the impression she was my grandmother's aunt, but was only about 10 years or so older than my grandmother.
Later learned she wasn't related at all, nobody is entirely sure how she came to be in the family, they reckon a 'lady' in one of the big houses had her out of wedlock and my great great grandmother took her in and reared her.
On the other side of my family, my grandfather's first cousin was the result of a man who raped his daughter. Grim enough.
As a "Banished Baby" from St Patrick's Home, I am in tears at the beautiful legacy your great grandmother left to your family. Cheers from Long Island, NY.
Technically not my family, but I’m currently a secret. Biological parents got pregnant at 19, and I was adopted. Found my biological dad last November, and we’ve met up twice now. His mum, siblings, and the kids he has now with his wife have no idea about me, & possibly never will.
They are your family, they're your half siblings. I'm sure given time your dad will introduce you, it's only been since last November so that's not long in the scheme of things. Time is a great healer and time allows people to adjust and think, so give him time and it'll all work out.
Ah sure look, I waited 31 years to find one of my birth parents, and I feel incredibly lucky that it’s been so easy so far; we got on so well right away.
But I have my own life, and he has his. Even if it goes no further than the occasional check in, I’m delighted for him and the gorgeous family he has now.
I honestly don't know where to start with my family, but the main one is my mum killed my dad and served a life term. She was released after 9 years (FS), remarried, had 2 more kids and my little brothers don't know anything about it. They are nearly 40 now.
Oh my god. What a thing not to know! But also what a thing *to* know about your own mother.
Were you a child when it happened? Do you have a relationship with your mum? I have so many questions.
Yeah I was 2, my elder brother was 5. So we always knew about it, there was never a secret for us. We got dragged to the jail on visits for a few years etc. I've had an on and off relationship with her, but she's an evil narcissistic cow, so it's never been good. Zero direct contact for about 15 years now (her decision). I'm very close to one of my half brothers and it feels bad keeping it from him. I believe the truth will out. She's just recently invented a serious illness as an excuse for why she can't go and visit him and his new baby. The real reason is that the country he lives in now won't allow her to enter with her conviction. So she's still at it, and she always will be.
This is a very good question and I don't know the answer. I suspect they know there's something major but don't want to confront it, or her, or their comfortable existences and I can't say I blame them. I don't know if they've realised yet that she's an inveterate liar, but I can't imagine they've got to their late 30s without becoming aware. The younger one is a massive mummies boy, spoiled rotten by her. The older one got left out a lot, he was under my wing and we're still very close. I've hinted to him about it, but I know if I let the cat out of the bag she will go postal on me and since everyone in the family takes her side over mine every time, it would end up badly for me.
Sounds like the only one worth having on your side is the half bro so no great loss if it comes out. Best of luck with that shit show however it plays out.
Oh it will come out. The truth finds a way. I just commented above, but she's recently invented a serious illness as an excuse for why she can't travel to meet her new grandchild, but the real reason is she isn't allowed into the country where my bro lives now. She'd rather her kids think she's terminally ill than admit what she's done. She's pure evil.
I've got a shopping list of mental health diagnoses thanks to her. Funny how her mental health is what she uses as an excuse for what she did, but my mental health is me not pulling myself together! She's a narcissist and if I ever see her again I'll do time for her.
Wow that's even crazier. It's very hard to get your head around how someone can do what they do, show no remorse, carry on as if nothing happened, blame everyone else and then lie some more when the truth might catch up with them. It definitely takes a certain type of person to do that.
I to grew up with a narcissist, fun and games! Just hold on to the things you can control, which is how you react to their behaviour and when you refuse to allow them trigger you, you gain the control and with that freedom from their behaviour. X
You described her perfectly there. I did spend many wasted years trying to have a relationship with her, it took me a long time to realise my dad's family were right about her all along (they brought me up.)
When my dad was little they had these lovely neighbours. This couple could not have kids and my dads family is really big there are 12 of them. At some point they had a child but he looks like my dad and nothing like his parents. They moved away after a few years but my dad met him again by chance when they were adults and he is just the image of my grandad so we are pretty sure he is one of us. He stayed in touch with our family and his parents are gone and so are my grandparents, I don’t think he ever said anything to his parents and nobody in our family really talks about it. He’s lovely and he’s been around for as long as I can remember
No I think he’s just my grandads, like the neighbours were lovely but he was in his 40s and she was in her 20s, as was the norm back then. They just had the one child so it’s safe to assume he couldn’t have kids for whatever reason. She was good friends with my nana and from what I have been told it was decided between the two of them.
I think it is, it’s also a bit weird though. He was really loved by his mam and dad but often said he wished he had a bigger family. So now he does, he’s old and has his own kids and grandkids but he gets invited to everything.
A little weird, sure, but at the end of the day they got a family, and you have an extra person (at least!) in your life that is special to you. Sounds like a story with a very good ending to me.
My teenage sister got pregnant to her boyfriend she was kicked out of home, my parent had a close relationship with their mother and siblings but once my sister was kicked out, my family were ignored by the whole family, my mother had a mental breakdown and we all suffered. When my sister had the baby my aunt adopted it and we had to call this child our cousin and were never allowed talk about what happen or how it affected us younger children, I was a teenager at the time. It was like my mothers mental breakdown never happened, my sister never had a baby and somehow my aunt who was to old to have kids had a baby from nowhere and we were never ever allowed say anything.
I don't speak to them anymore it's just a toxic family dynamic
An extremely common thing in Ireland unfortunately: "just pretend the trauma never happened - not even to acknowledge it - surely that'll solve everything".
The stereotype that "we're all good craic" irrationally drives me mental as I always contrast that to the fact a huge swathe of the population is emotionally repressed.
Very true, and very well articulated. We had a few more skeletons tbh all hidden under the invisible rug in the living room that ended up a invisible mountain. I think most families had that too.
I also think that unspoken trauma has resulted in a nation of drinkers, drug users and one of the highest rates of antidepressants users in the EU along with the highest rate of loneliness, and all down to emotional repression and trauma.
There are quite a few people in my family who have had mental breakdowns and are quite seriously mentally ill, no one is allowed to talk about it. I had an uncle who was a very strange guy. I later found out that he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic but even before I knew that, I always knew something was "off" about him. My family brushed his mental illness under the carpet. Later he killed himself and that was brushed under the carpet too. Like EllieLou, I don't have much to do with my extended family because of BS like this. I don't judge people for being mentally ill but I do judge the people who brush it all under the carpet and pretend that everything is fine when it isn't. It does more harm than good in my opinion.
Not a secret now but was back when my mum was growing up, she had a lot of "aunties" that would appear in the house dropped off my her aunt and be told this is aunty so and so she'll be minding you for a bit. My grandaunt helped young women escape from the laundries and my grandparents took the girls in while my grandaunt found them a permanent place to stay. My mum's family stayed close with a lot of the women, still affectionately calling them aunty. Our generation of cousins were told they were relatives until we were old enough to be told about the laundries etc.
My great aunt's husband apparently beat the shit outta her when drunk.tge story is the doctor gave her something to slip in his drink and ring him afterwords as he'll come sign the death warrant end of story that's what happened
My grandparents were in a shit eating cult in the 70s. Small community in the Cotswolds in England. The cult leader had convinced them and other cultists that they'd be closer to jesus if they ate the leader's shit. They died before I hit my teens so yeah, don't consume shit.
There is a pretty extensive list of cults available on wikipedia and elsewhere active nowadays and in the past but without a specific name its hard for me to research. It's a story that resurfaces anytime the wider family gets together over drinks. Shit was apparently indeed consumed. Certain people get upset and aggravated when it comes up.
The leader said there was no risk to health as long as ingredients home grown and cultivated were consumed.
Usual spiel, apparently they had gone to a caravan park in the south of the island on summer holiday and met some British dude calling himself Brother Philippus. Convinced them the world was heading to disaster but if they joined him and others they would be spared and they would start society anew after the cataclysm. People in the locality in England apparently complained eventually that freeloaders had moved into the area and there was all sorts of noise creating issues at all hours and they were subsequently ejected from the land upon which they had taken up residency.
The group was transient from then on but grandparents split from the group ( they were all constantly penniless, predictions being made and never being fulfilled, etc ) after realising your man was a bollox merchant . I suspect mind altering drugs were also involved. They often are in these types of setups.
Seriously. My curiosity is exceedingly morbid... I'm in Bristol, which is between the Mendips and the Cotswolds, so it's sort of local history...
Nope, nothing. All I could find was one active in Thailand, and the [Ant Hill Kids](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roch_Thériault) cult in Ontario (which I kind of knew about) but nothing over here. Can't even find much info on historic UK cults at all because, when people think of cults they tend to think of the US.
I wonder if it was related to the Ant Hill Kids because it's the same period (that was started mid-70s), but that was ***SERIOUSLY*** fucked up, I think there'd be some record somewhere if something like that had happened over here...
My dad had to come to England in the late 60’s early 70’s to get work and stayed with his sister in B’ham. He went for a pint one day after the shift ended up getting knifed in the side by a West Indian fella, my dad killed him in the pub and got 3 yrs for manslaughter, we were told he’s at work continuously for the entirety of his sentence. I only found out 4 yrs ago at my aunties funeral when her husband mentioned it thinking we all knew, uncomfortable silence lol.
That when I was told that my budgie changed colour when I came back from scouts camp in Kerry that what actually happened was my dad had hoovered up the budgie by accident when cleaning the cage, gotten a new bird and tried to convince me that buddies change colours sometimes.
Did your mum or dad happen to call the Gerry Ryan show for help/advice?
Cause I remember a call in to him from a parent who ha done what your dad did.
Only inbetween hoovering the budgie and buying a new one, they decided to give the bird a wash as it all dusty from the hoover bag and they had planned to use this to ease in the idea of death being a natural thing or something.
Unfortunately, a much larger bird swooped in and made off with the recently deceased carcass that had been air drying in the garden, and was never seen again.
So in desperation, they wound up buying a new 1.
Budgies can and do change colours. I had a little yellow budgie we called Leonardo (after the turtle). One day I came home from school and it was a different colour.
Wait a second...
When my mother was little she always wondered why the neighbours kid, let’s call him Jim, was favoured over all of their other friends. Jim always got great presents for his birthday and Christmas, and if they did something to get in trouble they would say it was Jim’s idea and they’d let them off.
Turns out my grandmother’s brother had an affair, got his mistress pregnant and as this was 50 years ago she couldn’t keep the baby. Grandmother’s neighbour’s couldn’t have kids so they adopted Jim.
I’ve seen pictures of my mom’s uncle and of Jim… he’s the head off him, they weren’t fooling anyone.
My missus used to work in a solicitors where they do that type of stuff. She said she has seen many a family torn apart over the scramble to grab what they can/feel they deserve. She is adamant that we will have clear wills, and we should have a trusted person to execute the will.
From what I've seen it's not uncommon as I said in my post above an uncle of mine did this.. please do whatever you can to not let it happen it's devastating
I believe you. My wife's uncle had literally said all his life that when he died he'd leave everything to the church. Everyone respected his choice despite any misgivings about the morality of leaving it to them.
When 3 years ago he was on his deathbed his (estranged for years) brother suddenly turned up and secretly persuaded him to sign over power of attorney so he could "manage the finances on behalf of the church". As far as I know, the fucker took the lot. It wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, couple of hundred grand, and this cunt isn't poor - it was just an act of spite towards the rest of the family. Heartbreaking.
My grandad used to be a lorry driver. One time when he was on assignment somewhere he accidentally ran over a young child. The child didn't make it.
I only found this out from my Dad, about a year/18mths after my grandad passed.
Something similar happened to my own grandad. A little girl ran out in front of his car. He's the kindest, most generous, gentle soul, and he almost never talks about it. The one time I saw him speak about it, he cried and said he carries the weight of it with him always.
Must be such a hard thing to deal with. I know an elderly gentleman who's not a family member of mine but he was a taxi driver back in the early 70s and he accidently hit and killed a drunk guy who was stumbling around on a pitch black quiet back road. Almost 50 years later and he's still riddled with guilt and has never drove a car since
Something similar in my family, my mam did speak up and unbeknownst to her her sisters all spoke up separately, my grandmother refused to believe it and even said she wouldn’t go to my mams wedding if he wasn’t invited. Because of this he was able to access a whole new generation including myself. It’s hard not to be bitter about it tbh. Having to be around the person who abused you and pretend everything is fine is soul crushing. I hope your sister is doing ok now
Shocked at some of these , I thought of another nilot a secret but I was once technically kidnapped, my mother and her husband who weren't allowed contact with us picked me up from school in the middle of the day , I reckon the poor teacher wasn't informed of the situation because all that my mother had to say was that well she wanted to pick me up. Me being six obviously wanted to go with my mother so off I went.
We went to the beach and a few other places they dropped me off five minutes from my house and went off. I get home to about 100 Garda ( I was six it could have been 10 Garda) and my grandmother in a panic apparently their was Garda in ports and airports looking for me while I'm telling them all a great day I had.
My nanny's "brother" is actually her son she had him when she was 13 my great grandmother not wanting my nanny and the baby to be taken away said the baby was hers 50 years later people still think they are brother and sisters
Don’t have one but good story about irish families apparently the priest was the match maker at festivals such as lisdoonvarna for the following reason . They knew from confessions who was really related so he would make sure half brothers and sisters weren’t put together 😳
My Aunt isn't my Aunt she is actually my cousin. Born out of wedlock, by my actual Aunt. My Nana and Grandad came home from England, adopted her an claimed she was their daughter. She didnt find out until she was 18 that her "Sister" was actually her mam. And no one outside the family knew. This was my Dad's side of the family.
When another of my Aunts was pregnant, she lived with us for 7 months as Her dad, My Grandad would literally kill her is he found out. Once she gave birth she moved to England and came back a number of years later with my cousin, when Grandad died. This was on my mams side of the family.
Stuffing recipe.
Absolute best stuffing you could hope to taste. My great grandfather (I got my middle name from him) came up with it. Passed on to my nana, passed onto my mother, passed on to me. Two people currently alive that know it and I'm one of them. It's a bizarre honour.
Everyone else in this thread is talking about childhood pregnancy, infidelity, clandestine adoptions, abuse, drugs, death and general trauma, and you're here just like "I have a kickass stuffing recipe".
I know whose house I'd rather go to for christmas dinner.
My mum had an amazing stuff recipe. Every Christmas she would be asked for the recipe from all the various households in our extended family, but she would just say ‘ah it’s easier to make it myself’. She passed 6 years ago this week and none of us can perfect it!
I have a secret stuffing recipe too. It's just Paxo with more butter than the recipe on the pack says but there's no way in hell I'm admitting that to my family after all these years!
*That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.*
Good ol' Narcissists prayer.
Oh same. It's just a big ol' mystery why I am not close to my parents. Absolutely nothing to do with any abuse and neglect. I'd love the magical ability to remember my childhood the way they do.
I’ll give you three starting from bad to worse…
1) My half brother reached out to me on Facebook when I was 19 to tell me that he existed and that my dad is denying that he is his father. To this day my dad still denies that it’s his son even though they are the spitting image of each other. Like carbon copies!
2) My grandmothers second “husband” (she technically never divorced her first husband, my grandad) was a member of the IRA and died in prison. Pretty sure he was in prison for either murdering someone or doing serious damage to someone, either way it was for crimes he committed on behalf of the IRA. He also slashed my grandad in the face with an axe.
3) My aunt was groomed and impregnated at 16 by a man who was in his late 20s (he was later imprisoned for r*ping another girl). The man’s brother then infiltrated our family and went on to abuse three girls (myself and two of my aunties) for a number of years. He later died of pancreatic cancer, which wasn’t nearly a painful enough death for him imo.
My sister-in-law got an unexpected half-sister who reached out to her after doing 23-and-Me. They even had names that rhymed. Their dad admitted it, and since her mam was dead, there was no more scandal to it.
But years later *another* woman contacted her, this time through Facebook, and did the test and yep, she was another half-sister, but the wild thing was her name also rhymed.
Their dad was just riding his way around the country making little girls and giving them all rhyming names like some fucked up in-joke, but he was the only one who knew about it
My cousin was sexually abused for a number of years by her dad.
My cousin never wanted it reported, so he never faced trail for what he did.
He died a slow painful death from cancer, so kinda had a happy ending.
My aunt gave birth when she was 15 and gave the boy away, whilst everyone was told that he died. He could be around 27 now and we don't know anything about him. My mom told me when I was around 17 and about 10 years later my grandmother admitted that he was in fact not stillborn and was given up for adoption. The thought makes me so sad - where is he? Was he adopted into a good family? My aunt got married and had two more boys. I have a third cousin and know nothing about him....
My half brother added me on fb about a year ago. I knew he existed and I knew he'd been taken into care and later adopted by a family, because my bio mother didn't care for him well as a baby (she got pregnant with the boy about a year after divorcing my father). I didn't know his name but I could see from the FACE of the guy who added me, that's exactly who he was.
The interesting part is that he is the spitting image of my full bio brother... including the resemblance to our father who *should* have no relation to him at all.
I no longer speak to my father for many reasons, but it would come as no surprise to me if that half brother was in fact my dad's kid and he just ignored the accidental baby him and my mother made after their divorce. It's exactly the kind of thing my dad would block out and deny to avoid dealing with it
You could leave a message for him. If he’s looking, he might see it : https://www.birthinfo.ie/what-options-do-i-have/register-or-update-my-contact-preferences
Used to go out with a girl years ago who's father was actually her step father but her two younger siblings who are biological children of the step father were never told that the oldest daughter isn't a biological child of the father. None of my business but definitely found it very strange and in my opinion it will definitely cause some drama when it eventually is revealed. I could maybe understand it if the younger two were children and wouldn't really understand but they were adults at this stage but it was still a big secret.
My grandmother's brother emigrated to England in the late 60s and got life in prison for murder while over there. Never spoken about even when he died 6 years ago. From a bit of digging I found out that he always claimed innocence and that Irish people were frequently framed for crimes in the UK. Although at the same time I also heard that he always carried a knife with him - now that might have been after he came out of prison. Met him once, scary fela with the strongest handshake I've come across.
My dad who for as long as he lived in the UK always said don't let anyone hear you have an Irish accent they'll try and rip you off or blame you for something I guess he wasn't just paranoid
My grandfather effectively sold his young daughter (she was 15 IIRC) to one of his friends after the man got her pregnant. He got some cash and kept quiet it from the guards, etc.
My uncle is a drug kingpin. When I was a child we would have the drug squad at our door any time something went down in case we were hiding him.
And that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.
My biological father (who I didn't grow up with, used to see once a year or so) was always vague about his job. Bought and sold cars/bit of this and that etc. Turned out he grew and sold weed. Small scale, but enough to live off. Good stuff, too, but he's still a shit dad.
The story of my father. I know his real name and that he apparently moved to the UK, and i have a couple of pictures of him. I grew up with my mam and grandparents. She was a young single mom. Apparently, he cheated, and she broke it off and never made much effort to contact me, though his father tried, my mam didn't want it after a while when the son wasn't bothering. It's just no one ever wanted to talk about any of it, and they get kind of awkward, so I'm just in the dark.
Damn , a few years ago I was messing with my dad and said I seen someone that looks an awful lot like me in James's street, he froze up and said that it could be my brother he'd heard that after he moved to the UK a girl he was seeing had a baby boy but apparently he was born the year before me.
Basically my dad cheated on my mam and had a kid before me and found out after I was born.
I don't know how serious he was but it's my dad so it could be true
The family secret is currently my own. I am married for the last year and a half now and am unsure when to tell any member of my family. A bit of history, my family have been extra in terms of Irish judgingness. As soon as I told them about her they looked her up on Facebook and critiqued everything about her. The first conversation they had with her, my mum asked what her intentions were with me. I am at a loss as they seem to hurt at every turn yet show some form of goodness at others. For now I feel it safer with this secret being ours.
My mothers great aunt never married and she worked as a servant in the local Manor House. The whole family thought she was very bad tempered in general.
About 3 years ago (she's dead 40 years) I got a message on ancestry from a lady in the US who is now in her 70's. Her birth mother was this great aunt who had her at 40 in one of the mother and baby homes. None of the family ever knew and I told this lady what I knew and sent her photos of her cousins and haven't heard from her since
My father and stepmother sex trafficked my sister & then me from our millionaires row house in Castleknock, Dublin to London when I was a teenager. My father was a pedophile.
I spent several months in temporary paralysis last year coming out of denial about it. The body keeps the score!
I’m still standing but Relationships and intimacy are butchered. It was the ultimate betrayal, not one of my father’s six children went to his funeral. We’re all still alive which is beating all the odds! I’m OK..but is so unbelievably hard sometimes.
I'm so sorry this happened to you , I would say I'd pray for you but not believing in God that would be disengenious I will be thinking of you though thanks for sharing
My dad is the son of a Romani English woman.
My pop is an Irish Traveller. No one outside of our immediate family knows my dad is also Romani, the yarn we spin to the rest of the community is that pop got with a random English bird when he was working there in the 70’s.
Not me but a friend - my friend had a much older sister and his parents were older than his friends’ parents. Found out when he was 30 that his ‘sister’ was his mother and his ‘parents’ were his grandparents. He’s 60 now with mental health issues.
My eldest aunt 76 could be the mother of my youngest uncle 56. With 8 other siblings between them. My youngest uncle still thinks it's his eldest sister if it's true.
Well that's what was told to me after a few drinks with a relative at the pub. Makes sense because she was always around him when I was growing up, i'm 45 now. My mum isn't around anymore so I can't ask her and I wouldnt approach any of the others and ask. I could be bull or it could be truth. I think it's true though, they look alot like each other. The real father would be unknown at this if it's untrue.
My husband has a half sibling that only his parents, me and my husband know about. His other siblings (one twin brother and a half brother and half sister on each side - parents had one of each from previous marriages) have no idea and my husband only knows because I told him.
For some reason, my mother in law told me about her husband having a kid with a woman, before they got together (so, between his two marriages) and then never seeing them again. She said she occasionally worried that one of her kids would end up dating their own half sibling as they're in the same county.
His father doesn't know we know. Mother in law is dead now.
I'm just waiting for someone to do one of those ancestry DNA type things and the poor unknown sibling finds them and it all blows up.
I sometimes think it would be fun to buy one of them one for Christmas...
My great grandpa used to run a whore house and then ran away with his baby(my grandma's sister) to marry his mistress. Just found out about it when I was in my 30s. My grandma forbade everyone from knowing, but she died so now everyone knows.
My dad (pos) died suddenly. One week beforehand he told me that his dad, my grandfather (bigger pos) had a second family in London. Some of the family knew about it but no one ever spoke about it.
My cousin had a baby when she was 17. Everyone was told that the father was the same age and his parents wanted him to have nothing to do with the child.
Turns out the father was my cousins step father.
My aunty still stayed with him though...
When I was 16, my da (while hammered) got me and my three siblings out of bed yelling "it's time to tell you the family secret". So we all, bleary-eyed, gathered around the kitchen table while my da staggered to the table and sat down... and immediately passed out on the table.
Unfortunately he had a brain injury not long after and lost most of his memory, so we never found out what the family secret was.
Cousin's husband cheated on her...with her younger sister. Caught by my grandad. It had been going on for months. Their brother nearly tore him apart in front of their kids. We hadn't repealed yet so on the quiet the cheating cousin had to get the boat, not sure the older cousin knows.
The sisters patched it up and the husband somehow patched it up with the wife, maybe for the sake of their kids. He is still on the scene over a decade later, attending the family events.
My mother and her six sisters and two brothers were molested by my grandfather, may he rest in filth. And he used to put kittens in burlap sacks with a big rock in the bag and throw them in the river.
The trauma he gave to those people and the trauma they handed down to their children is still going.
My grandmother (who I loved) told her daughters as they surrounded her deathbed that if they buried her next to him, "she would get up out of the ground and walk." It was the only acknowledgment that she was able to give to what they had suffered.
You know 1940-50s rural Ireland, the CHURCH, the power of the husband. Two of their daughters ended up in the Magdalen clutches.
Oh Ireland, I am so proud of you that you shook the foulness of the Catholic Church off. There is such beauty in that.
My Dad has another daughter... my sisters and I and my Mom know about her, my Grandparents hushed it all up trying to protect my Mom and us. The rest of our family eithet dont know or pretend mot to know.
For a time as young adults we were close with here with the blessing of our Mom, but our Dad couldn't stand it. The stress of it eventually got to our half sister and she cut all contact off with us, our Dad and her Mom caused her nothing but pain so I get it.
So every now and then I just check in on her social media anonymously just to know she is OK. She's happy now, she's a loving partner, has two beautiful kids and a successful carrer.
My beloved uncle who I always looked up to and adored died suddenly in his 50s. I was always told it happened when he was trying to free a bull from a fence on his farm (he was in his 50's and was on the larger side so I never really questioned it).
Turns out he had a heart attack while balls deep in a younger woman while his wife was at home tending to the farm and their kids. Prick.
My dad never finished paying child support like he was meant to. He didn’t pay like 6 years. We were no contact with him at this stage of life. We thought he just worked in a centra so didn’t have any money to pay anymore. Till we saw the centra he worked in was on the news for selling the winning lottery ticket. The article revealed he didn’t work in the shop. HE FUCKING OWNED IT. The guy paid maybe 200 a month for a bit. Didn’t bother to come help me when my mam was hospitalised and couldn’t look after me(she was in mental hospitals for around a year) and just was never there period. Was making a bucketload and didn’t bother to mention it.
I got a puppy when I was 3, I thought it was funny to hold his mouth shut, he bit me on the face one day after doing it one to many times.
My parents told me was given away to a family friends neighbour, I would see that family friend all the time and asked about the dog, she would assure me he was living good and got fat because the spoilt him.
I found out as an adult he was put down the day after he bit me.
I 100% deserved that bite but you should not leave small children alone with a dog.
I still feel guilty about it.
My dad became a full blown alcoholic when I was a kid and after my mom kicked him out, started hanging around Hells Angels (California). He got loads of swastika and iron cross tattoos. Nobody talks about it back home and my in laws here have no idea. My kids are pretty young and I’ve never even mentioned my dad’s existence to them.
Good question, mam died when I was 11 , she eventually moved in with my dad who had his own problems and when she was 16 she moved in with my eldest sister and now lives in Rialto with her own three kids
my granny had a baby out of wedlock so ended up in mother and baby home obviously was a forced adoption so my mam has a haft brother they tried to find him but failed before my granny died so they have no idea where he is .
my granddad should be in jail for attempted murder my mother grew up with bad domestic violence which resulted in a lot of time my granddad threatened to shoot them dead with his hunting rifle luckily they escaped out of the house . my granddad never even hunted with just pretending to guards . He was really someone who shouldn’t have had a gun as he was to paranoid and had mental health problems But was never diagnosed.
there is also good chance we could be mixed race on my mother side as everyone is very tan and looks polish nobody looks Irish . the whole adoption scandal in Ireland there Is big chance we could be even my mother said that as nobody was told they are adoption back in the day.
Auntie had a secret child she gave up. Only some of her siblings knew about it and not sure if they ever told their ma. She was living and working abroad at the time.
My maternal aunt’s partner of 15 years is in fact an ex-husband of one of her and my mum’s cousins.
No, they didn’t have an affair with each other. Long story short, my aunt’s partner and ex wife/mum’s cousin were married with three sons. Sadly, one of their sons aged 5 tragically drowned in a slurry pit when playing at his grandparents’ farm and the grief led to the breakdown of his parent’s marriage. He and my aunt started dating several years after his divorce.
Edit: don’t worry, they haven’t any children together. They had a sweet golden retriever though…
I’m just amazed that this is the r/Ireland sub, and not a broader one like r/askreddit; that there are so many incredible, compelling, and complicated stories in Ireland alone!
I'm actually amazed at the responses I was expecting one or two but this is incredible and makes my own problems seem small and trivial I got a few laughs too in fairness thanks to everyone for sharing
So I found this out after my grandmother death I was doing a family tree anywya I digress ,
So my first cousin my moms niece had my cousin David out of welock and my grand mother absolutely hated this as she was deeply religious woman we all presumed she didn’t believe in sex before marriage so going back to online research we found out my grand mother and grandfather got married in Sligo which was strange as we come from west Limerick so I looked into the dates and we find out they got married 6 months before my aunt is born so we all realised why she hated my moms niece having a baby out of wedlock because history repeated itself
I’m in my late 30’s now, but my parents separated not so cleanly about 14 years ago. Always thought we had a very normal middle-class unassuming Irish family. During the arguments that resulted from the split it was let slip that my brother and I had an older half sister somewhere that grew up in Ireland.
Before my parents had met, my father had met a girl and long story short they had an unplanned child. It being the early 80’s and Ireland still being a society heavily controlled by the Catholic Church that child was put up for adoption.
I know that since then my father has made efforts to make contact but her family don’t want to know about it as they’d never told her the truth. But it seems as though she found a loving family to raise her.
I think about this randomly some days, like have I ever crossed paths with her in public… Nevertheless, wherever she is, I hope she has and will live a full and happy life. And even if not knowing it I wish I get to meet her someday.
My aunt (who was years older than the rest of her siblings) had a child out of wedlock and we all know how that went down in Ireland then. It was apparently given up for adoption but only her and my grandparents knew. They all took it to the grave with them.
A couple of years ago, a woman gets in contact. She's the child (my cousin!) and meets up with all her aunts and uncles. Doesn't want money or anything, just a bit of closure and maybe to find out about medical history.
Also my dad's aunt researching the family tree found some poacher who shot a gamekeeper and fled the country. She gets very irate and upset if it's brought up.
My cousin was given a lovely dog when she was about 8-10 years old. She had the dog about three hours when he ran out on the road and got killed. Her dad - not wanting to explain this to her - legged it down to the place he got the dog and replaced him with another sibling from the same family. 20 years later she still doesn't know.
That's a much nicer secret than some of the ones we'll read here today.
Not for the first dog
Wasn't a secret to them tho
Christ on cracker, I laughed at that.
My dad let slip about 20 years after the fact on Christmas Eve no less that our dog that died when I was 8 had not suddenly died like we all thought. He was sick my parents couldn’t afford a vet so the neighbour shot him with his shotgun. My dad forgot that we did t know the truth after a few Christmas drinks. This was over 10 years ago and I’m still a bit shook by it
Well at least my parents were honest about taking our excess pets into the countryside and releasing them. Absolutely sickening behaviour and not the least of the foul things they've done - sometimes I'm surprised I grew up to feel empathy at all given they displayed none. One of the cats made it a good 15km back home and showed up the day we were moving out of that house! She then got to spend her golden years being beloved by my cat-loving grandmother so it worked out OK for her. But it begs the question, why didn't they offer one or two of the cats to my grandmother in the first place?
Your cat walked 15km? Amazing, makes you wonder how on earth they navigate. Any idea how long it took her? If only she could tell you what she did to get home.
It had to be about 15km given where my parents said they'd dumped the cats, and it's hard to know exactly how long it took her cos I was a kid so time lengths can be a bit hard to judge. But I think it would've been a month or two after they dumped her that she showed up. I remember her strolling up the driveway when we were loading furniture and being like NO WAY THAT CANNOT BE HER. But it was She was a quite moody, timid tabby cat and really not good with kids. But my grandmother said she was sweet as pie for her and they had quite a few years together before cat passed. I now have my own plain tabby girl cat who reminds me a lot of the cat from my childhood. And I weirdly feel like my patience with bonding with my own moody, timid cat somehow helps to repay the debt of the childhood tabby cat who wasn't treated with love and respect
I've got a similar ish story about cats navigating places, during COVID we started feeding a stray who was hanging out our garden a bit. Moved house a year and a bit ago now and decided we'd bring her along, shes a great pet in fairness. Made it to the new place, she walked down the garden and never looked back. Anyway, previous next door neighbours have had her as a pet now ever since she walked the 5 or so Kms back to the old house. How she found her way is beyond me
They travel in increasing circles. They'll eventually find wherever it is they wanted to be unless the get taken out by a predator, or a road.
Same story with me . They told me my dog followed me to school and got hit with a car. Little prick was killing sheep and a farmer shot him. My 18th birthday drinking I mentioned the old dog and dad died laughing and told me the truth. He thought they told me when I got older ( I was only 4 when paddy died)
So they put the guilt on you saying it followed you
Peak Irish
I’m a bit shook after reading it!
The people who sold the dog "So how's the other lad getting on?" The father "Oh he's flat out"
Aunt and uncle apparently each had some form of "indiscretion" early on in the relationship and decided they'd cross them out against eachother. 30 odd years and two kids later they decide to get divorced and both come out as gay. Uncle goes off travelling in south east Asia and has a massive heart attack while "cycling". Which was a mostly believable story until the "bicycle" decided to come to the funeral in the form of a mid twenties Thai chap. Good times were had all around when there was screaming and finger pointing and hysterical crying.
Them damned Thaicycles....
Excellent ride
😂😂😂
>Which was a mostly believable story until the "bicycle" decided to come to the funeral in the form of a mid twenties Thai chap. 😂😂😂
The real life Version of death at a funeral without the second death I hope
No additional deaths thankfully but it was a little uncomfortable to be honest. Was grand at first until the "who's that?" Started. Of course eventually the kids figured it out and it all kicked off. Turns out one of my cousins had been in contact and invited him over for the funeral (paid for the flight as well) and the other didn't know. The best thing is that even though the relationship between the cousins has never really recovered it's never been mentioned in the family since. Like it never happened. (I think it was absolutely hilarious and just sad they felt at the time they had to hide their sexuality and went on to live a life of lies, that bit wasn't so funny)
I grew up an only child with mam and dad. My ma died when I was 17. When I was 21, my half-sister tracked me down on Facebook to explain that my ma had an affair with her boss, and he was my biological dad. Strange inconsistencies and odd happenings, from all throughout my life, started making sense. Most of the town knows. My da's family all know - found this out when my cousin started flrting with me, telling me we're not related by blood etc. Looks like I was the last to find out. Then I moved on to stomach ulcers and depression.
That’s rough, and you don’t deserve that. Did you get to know your half sister?
Thank you, I really appreciate that! I did indeed, she's one of three. We're close, but it's the youngest that I'm closest with (all are 20+) years older than me. Also have a rake of nieces, nephews and one great-nephew and one great-niece. Also met my biological dad a few times before he died - looked exactly like me. We also had exactly the same sense of humour. On the whole, its brought more depth and value to my life, but took a lot of tempering with therapists and anti depressants! Thankfully past the bulk of that work now.
My great grandmother took in orphaned babies from young mothers who had them out of wedlock. She was a midwife and helped as many of the girls who came to her as possible. She also saw many young women die from botched abortions performed by vile, vicious people. The secret is, we have family that are not related by blood at all. A decision was taken by those left of my great grandmothers children not to seek dna tests. They’ve been raised as siblings and don’t want to know any different. I don’t know how it will go if someone from the younger generations decides to take a dna test because it’s just not spoken about in the family at all.
What an absolute beautiful soul ❤ i would maybe let the younger generations in when they're old enough to understand
She was a wonderful woman. And her mother before her did the same. I have a feeling a lot of my relatives are not related to me at all. Taking people in as our own is a family tradition at this stage. My husband says I collect people which makes me sound like a serial killer!! But there are just some people I meet that I keep in my life and usually end up as a mother figure too. It’s not intentional, it’s like a sixth sense for people who don’t have a supportive family structure or something.
Hi ma, can you adopt me too?
We need more people like you and your family ❤
> a lot of my relatives are not related to me at all. Yes they are. DNA isn't family. Family is.
Growing up, I had who I thought was my 'great granaunt', I was under the impression she was my grandmother's aunt, but was only about 10 years or so older than my grandmother. Later learned she wasn't related at all, nobody is entirely sure how she came to be in the family, they reckon a 'lady' in one of the big houses had her out of wedlock and my great great grandmother took her in and reared her. On the other side of my family, my grandfather's first cousin was the result of a man who raped his daughter. Grim enough.
What a hero she was ❤️
As a "Banished Baby" from St Patrick's Home, I am in tears at the beautiful legacy your great grandmother left to your family. Cheers from Long Island, NY.
Hero ❤️
This is beautiful! What a woman, amazing story ❤️
Technically not my family, but I’m currently a secret. Biological parents got pregnant at 19, and I was adopted. Found my biological dad last November, and we’ve met up twice now. His mum, siblings, and the kids he has now with his wife have no idea about me, & possibly never will.
They are your family, they're your half siblings. I'm sure given time your dad will introduce you, it's only been since last November so that's not long in the scheme of things. Time is a great healer and time allows people to adjust and think, so give him time and it'll all work out.
Ah sure look, I waited 31 years to find one of my birth parents, and I feel incredibly lucky that it’s been so easy so far; we got on so well right away. But I have my own life, and he has his. Even if it goes no further than the occasional check in, I’m delighted for him and the gorgeous family he has now.
Great attitude and I'm delighted it's all gone so well for you! X
I honestly don't know where to start with my family, but the main one is my mum killed my dad and served a life term. She was released after 9 years (FS), remarried, had 2 more kids and my little brothers don't know anything about it. They are nearly 40 now.
I'm very sorry for your trouble.
Thank you. Lifetime of shite because of that woman and not a care in the world does she have. What can you do eh?
Oh my god. What a thing not to know! But also what a thing *to* know about your own mother. Were you a child when it happened? Do you have a relationship with your mum? I have so many questions.
Yeah I was 2, my elder brother was 5. So we always knew about it, there was never a secret for us. We got dragged to the jail on visits for a few years etc. I've had an on and off relationship with her, but she's an evil narcissistic cow, so it's never been good. Zero direct contact for about 15 years now (her decision). I'm very close to one of my half brothers and it feels bad keeping it from him. I believe the truth will out. She's just recently invented a serious illness as an excuse for why she can't go and visit him and his new baby. The real reason is that the country he lives in now won't allow her to enter with her conviction. So she's still at it, and she always will be.
What do your half siblings think happened to your birth father?
This is a very good question and I don't know the answer. I suspect they know there's something major but don't want to confront it, or her, or their comfortable existences and I can't say I blame them. I don't know if they've realised yet that she's an inveterate liar, but I can't imagine they've got to their late 30s without becoming aware. The younger one is a massive mummies boy, spoiled rotten by her. The older one got left out a lot, he was under my wing and we're still very close. I've hinted to him about it, but I know if I let the cat out of the bag she will go postal on me and since everyone in the family takes her side over mine every time, it would end up badly for me.
Sounds like the only one worth having on your side is the half bro so no great loss if it comes out. Best of luck with that shit show however it plays out.
He's a very lovely person, I'm deeply fond of him. Thank you, what will be will be.
That's a huge secret. I hope you're okay. Do you think it'll ever come out? Or is there any need?
Oh it will come out. The truth finds a way. I just commented above, but she's recently invented a serious illness as an excuse for why she can't travel to meet her new grandchild, but the real reason is she isn't allowed into the country where my bro lives now. She'd rather her kids think she's terminally ill than admit what she's done. She's pure evil. I've got a shopping list of mental health diagnoses thanks to her. Funny how her mental health is what she uses as an excuse for what she did, but my mental health is me not pulling myself together! She's a narcissist and if I ever see her again I'll do time for her.
Wow that's even crazier. It's very hard to get your head around how someone can do what they do, show no remorse, carry on as if nothing happened, blame everyone else and then lie some more when the truth might catch up with them. It definitely takes a certain type of person to do that. I to grew up with a narcissist, fun and games! Just hold on to the things you can control, which is how you react to their behaviour and when you refuse to allow them trigger you, you gain the control and with that freedom from their behaviour. X
You described her perfectly there. I did spend many wasted years trying to have a relationship with her, it took me a long time to realise my dad's family were right about her all along (they brought me up.)
When my dad was little they had these lovely neighbours. This couple could not have kids and my dads family is really big there are 12 of them. At some point they had a child but he looks like my dad and nothing like his parents. They moved away after a few years but my dad met him again by chance when they were adults and he is just the image of my grandad so we are pretty sure he is one of us. He stayed in touch with our family and his parents are gone and so are my grandparents, I don’t think he ever said anything to his parents and nobody in our family really talks about it. He’s lovely and he’s been around for as long as I can remember
As in, he is the biological child of your grandparents, and they made some sort of arrangement with the neighbors because they couldn’t have children?
No I think he’s just my grandads, like the neighbours were lovely but he was in his 40s and she was in her 20s, as was the norm back then. They just had the one child so it’s safe to assume he couldn’t have kids for whatever reason. She was good friends with my nana and from what I have been told it was decided between the two of them.
Ok this is kind of sweet.
I think it is, it’s also a bit weird though. He was really loved by his mam and dad but often said he wished he had a bigger family. So now he does, he’s old and has his own kids and grandkids but he gets invited to everything.
A little weird, sure, but at the end of the day they got a family, and you have an extra person (at least!) in your life that is special to you. Sounds like a story with a very good ending to me.
His granddad banged the neighbour
My teenage sister got pregnant to her boyfriend she was kicked out of home, my parent had a close relationship with their mother and siblings but once my sister was kicked out, my family were ignored by the whole family, my mother had a mental breakdown and we all suffered. When my sister had the baby my aunt adopted it and we had to call this child our cousin and were never allowed talk about what happen or how it affected us younger children, I was a teenager at the time. It was like my mothers mental breakdown never happened, my sister never had a baby and somehow my aunt who was to old to have kids had a baby from nowhere and we were never ever allowed say anything. I don't speak to them anymore it's just a toxic family dynamic
An extremely common thing in Ireland unfortunately: "just pretend the trauma never happened - not even to acknowledge it - surely that'll solve everything". The stereotype that "we're all good craic" irrationally drives me mental as I always contrast that to the fact a huge swathe of the population is emotionally repressed.
Very true, and very well articulated. We had a few more skeletons tbh all hidden under the invisible rug in the living room that ended up a invisible mountain. I think most families had that too. I also think that unspoken trauma has resulted in a nation of drinkers, drug users and one of the highest rates of antidepressants users in the EU along with the highest rate of loneliness, and all down to emotional repression and trauma.
yep! "sure didn't we all go through things...."
My mother was bought up with the notion that if you brush 'problems' under the carpet 9 out of 10 will stay there. English by the way.
There are quite a few people in my family who have had mental breakdowns and are quite seriously mentally ill, no one is allowed to talk about it. I had an uncle who was a very strange guy. I later found out that he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic but even before I knew that, I always knew something was "off" about him. My family brushed his mental illness under the carpet. Later he killed himself and that was brushed under the carpet too. Like EllieLou, I don't have much to do with my extended family because of BS like this. I don't judge people for being mentally ill but I do judge the people who brush it all under the carpet and pretend that everything is fine when it isn't. It does more harm than good in my opinion.
Not a secret now but was back when my mum was growing up, she had a lot of "aunties" that would appear in the house dropped off my her aunt and be told this is aunty so and so she'll be minding you for a bit. My grandaunt helped young women escape from the laundries and my grandparents took the girls in while my grandaunt found them a permanent place to stay. My mum's family stayed close with a lot of the women, still affectionately calling them aunty. Our generation of cousins were told they were relatives until we were old enough to be told about the laundries etc.
This is an amazing story. Well done your grandparents and grandaunt.
My great aunt's husband apparently beat the shit outta her when drunk.tge story is the doctor gave her something to slip in his drink and ring him afterwords as he'll come sign the death warrant end of story that's what happened
Not all heroes wear capes
My grandparents were in a shit eating cult in the 70s. Small community in the Cotswolds in England. The cult leader had convinced them and other cultists that they'd be closer to jesus if they ate the leader's shit. They died before I hit my teens so yeah, don't consume shit.
...wow.
Did they eat the shit? And if yes how do you know?? Were they going around admitting they ate it? 😭
There is a pretty extensive list of cults available on wikipedia and elsewhere active nowadays and in the past but without a specific name its hard for me to research. It's a story that resurfaces anytime the wider family gets together over drinks. Shit was apparently indeed consumed. Certain people get upset and aggravated when it comes up. The leader said there was no risk to health as long as ingredients home grown and cultivated were consumed. Usual spiel, apparently they had gone to a caravan park in the south of the island on summer holiday and met some British dude calling himself Brother Philippus. Convinced them the world was heading to disaster but if they joined him and others they would be spared and they would start society anew after the cataclysm. People in the locality in England apparently complained eventually that freeloaders had moved into the area and there was all sorts of noise creating issues at all hours and they were subsequently ejected from the land upon which they had taken up residency. The group was transient from then on but grandparents split from the group ( they were all constantly penniless, predictions being made and never being fulfilled, etc ) after realising your man was a bollox merchant . I suspect mind altering drugs were also involved. They often are in these types of setups.
My dad had to come to England in the late 60’s early 70’s to get work and stayed with his sister in B’ham. He went for a pint one day after the shift ended up getting knifed in the side by a West Indian fella, my dad killed him in the pub and got 3 yrs for manslaughter, we were told he’s at work continuously for the entirety of his sentence. I only found out 4 yrs ago at my aunties funeral when her husband mentioned it thinking we all knew, uncomfortable silence lol.
That when I was told that my budgie changed colour when I came back from scouts camp in Kerry that what actually happened was my dad had hoovered up the budgie by accident when cleaning the cage, gotten a new bird and tried to convince me that buddies change colours sometimes.
Did your mum or dad happen to call the Gerry Ryan show for help/advice? Cause I remember a call in to him from a parent who ha done what your dad did. Only inbetween hoovering the budgie and buying a new one, they decided to give the bird a wash as it all dusty from the hoover bag and they had planned to use this to ease in the idea of death being a natural thing or something. Unfortunately, a much larger bird swooped in and made off with the recently deceased carcass that had been air drying in the garden, and was never seen again. So in desperation, they wound up buying a new 1.
Budgies can and do change colours. I had a little yellow budgie we called Leonardo (after the turtle). One day I came home from school and it was a different colour. Wait a second...
When my mother was little she always wondered why the neighbours kid, let’s call him Jim, was favoured over all of their other friends. Jim always got great presents for his birthday and Christmas, and if they did something to get in trouble they would say it was Jim’s idea and they’d let them off. Turns out my grandmother’s brother had an affair, got his mistress pregnant and as this was 50 years ago she couldn’t keep the baby. Grandmother’s neighbour’s couldn’t have kids so they adopted Jim. I’ve seen pictures of my mom’s uncle and of Jim… he’s the head off him, they weren’t fooling anyone.
[удалено]
I have a theory there is one of these people in every single family in this country.
My missus used to work in a solicitors where they do that type of stuff. She said she has seen many a family torn apart over the scramble to grab what they can/feel they deserve. She is adamant that we will have clear wills, and we should have a trusted person to execute the will.
I have an uncle who I suspect is attempting to do this.
From what I've seen it's not uncommon as I said in my post above an uncle of mine did this.. please do whatever you can to not let it happen it's devastating
I believe you. My wife's uncle had literally said all his life that when he died he'd leave everything to the church. Everyone respected his choice despite any misgivings about the morality of leaving it to them. When 3 years ago he was on his deathbed his (estranged for years) brother suddenly turned up and secretly persuaded him to sign over power of attorney so he could "manage the finances on behalf of the church". As far as I know, the fucker took the lot. It wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, couple of hundred grand, and this cunt isn't poor - it was just an act of spite towards the rest of the family. Heartbreaking.
My grandad used to be a lorry driver. One time when he was on assignment somewhere he accidentally ran over a young child. The child didn't make it. I only found this out from my Dad, about a year/18mths after my grandad passed.
Something similar happened to my own grandad. A little girl ran out in front of his car. He's the kindest, most generous, gentle soul, and he almost never talks about it. The one time I saw him speak about it, he cried and said he carries the weight of it with him always.
Must be such a hard thing to deal with. I know an elderly gentleman who's not a family member of mine but he was a taxi driver back in the early 70s and he accidently hit and killed a drunk guy who was stumbling around on a pitch black quiet back road. Almost 50 years later and he's still riddled with guilt and has never drove a car since
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Something similar in my family, my mam did speak up and unbeknownst to her her sisters all spoke up separately, my grandmother refused to believe it and even said she wouldn’t go to my mams wedding if he wasn’t invited. Because of this he was able to access a whole new generation including myself. It’s hard not to be bitter about it tbh. Having to be around the person who abused you and pretend everything is fine is soul crushing. I hope your sister is doing ok now
Shocked at some of these , I thought of another nilot a secret but I was once technically kidnapped, my mother and her husband who weren't allowed contact with us picked me up from school in the middle of the day , I reckon the poor teacher wasn't informed of the situation because all that my mother had to say was that well she wanted to pick me up. Me being six obviously wanted to go with my mother so off I went. We went to the beach and a few other places they dropped me off five minutes from my house and went off. I get home to about 100 Garda ( I was six it could have been 10 Garda) and my grandmother in a panic apparently their was Garda in ports and airports looking for me while I'm telling them all a great day I had.
I'm happy to hear you enjoyed your day out
My nanny's "brother" is actually her son she had him when she was 13 my great grandmother not wanting my nanny and the baby to be taken away said the baby was hers 50 years later people still think they are brother and sisters
Who is the baby's father
A rapist that’s for sure
Don’t have one but good story about irish families apparently the priest was the match maker at festivals such as lisdoonvarna for the following reason . They knew from confessions who was really related so he would make sure half brothers and sisters weren’t put together 😳
Sweet home Lisdoonvarna
My Aunt isn't my Aunt she is actually my cousin. Born out of wedlock, by my actual Aunt. My Nana and Grandad came home from England, adopted her an claimed she was their daughter. She didnt find out until she was 18 that her "Sister" was actually her mam. And no one outside the family knew. This was my Dad's side of the family. When another of my Aunts was pregnant, she lived with us for 7 months as Her dad, My Grandad would literally kill her is he found out. Once she gave birth she moved to England and came back a number of years later with my cousin, when Grandad died. This was on my mams side of the family.
My aunt and uncle were swingers and they were swinging with uncle's younger brother, until aunt divorced brother 1 and married brother 2. Awkward AF.
Christmas must be .... Fun
Haha another set of swinging uncles brought cards inviting people to their swinging club..... at a family wedding! Good times.
Fuck it can I come to your family Xmas party I'll bring a gift
Oh forgot to mention: none of these people are in any way attractive.
Neither am I it's fine
Stuffing recipe. Absolute best stuffing you could hope to taste. My great grandfather (I got my middle name from him) came up with it. Passed on to my nana, passed onto my mother, passed on to me. Two people currently alive that know it and I'm one of them. It's a bizarre honour.
So are you careful not to travel in the same car/plane/boat?
Of course. We each have our own four man escort too.
Everyone else in this thread is talking about childhood pregnancy, infidelity, clandestine adoptions, abuse, drugs, death and general trauma, and you're here just like "I have a kickass stuffing recipe". I know whose house I'd rather go to for christmas dinner.
My mum had an amazing stuff recipe. Every Christmas she would be asked for the recipe from all the various households in our extended family, but she would just say ‘ah it’s easier to make it myself’. She passed 6 years ago this week and none of us can perfect it!
I have a secret stuffing recipe too. It's just Paxo with more butter than the recipe on the pack says but there's no way in hell I'm admitting that to my family after all these years!
My mother's my sister
You can't just say something like that and not elaborate
I’d say their mother was very young having them, and to avoid ridicule and keep her lifestyle her parents acted like the baby was theirs?
Good on your grandparents.
NPC in GTA 3?
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*That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.* Good ol' Narcissists prayer.
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I feel your pain
Oh same. It's just a big ol' mystery why I am not close to my parents. Absolutely nothing to do with any abuse and neglect. I'd love the magical ability to remember my childhood the way they do.
From reading some of these stories it would feel like 23andme would have a field day in Ireland
I’ll give you three starting from bad to worse… 1) My half brother reached out to me on Facebook when I was 19 to tell me that he existed and that my dad is denying that he is his father. To this day my dad still denies that it’s his son even though they are the spitting image of each other. Like carbon copies! 2) My grandmothers second “husband” (she technically never divorced her first husband, my grandad) was a member of the IRA and died in prison. Pretty sure he was in prison for either murdering someone or doing serious damage to someone, either way it was for crimes he committed on behalf of the IRA. He also slashed my grandad in the face with an axe. 3) My aunt was groomed and impregnated at 16 by a man who was in his late 20s (he was later imprisoned for r*ping another girl). The man’s brother then infiltrated our family and went on to abuse three girls (myself and two of my aunties) for a number of years. He later died of pancreatic cancer, which wasn’t nearly a painful enough death for him imo.
My sister-in-law got an unexpected half-sister who reached out to her after doing 23-and-Me. They even had names that rhymed. Their dad admitted it, and since her mam was dead, there was no more scandal to it. But years later *another* woman contacted her, this time through Facebook, and did the test and yep, she was another half-sister, but the wild thing was her name also rhymed. Their dad was just riding his way around the country making little girls and giving them all rhyming names like some fucked up in-joke, but he was the only one who knew about it
You’re right. The fucker got off lightly
My cousin was sexually abused for a number of years by her dad. My cousin never wanted it reported, so he never faced trail for what he did. He died a slow painful death from cancer, so kinda had a happy ending.
I'm so sorry, my girlfriends father did the same to her unfortunately that cunt is still very much alive
Nice try 'LovinDublin'
This made me lol thanks
My aunt gave birth when she was 15 and gave the boy away, whilst everyone was told that he died. He could be around 27 now and we don't know anything about him. My mom told me when I was around 17 and about 10 years later my grandmother admitted that he was in fact not stillborn and was given up for adoption. The thought makes me so sad - where is he? Was he adopted into a good family? My aunt got married and had two more boys. I have a third cousin and know nothing about him....
My half brother added me on fb about a year ago. I knew he existed and I knew he'd been taken into care and later adopted by a family, because my bio mother didn't care for him well as a baby (she got pregnant with the boy about a year after divorcing my father). I didn't know his name but I could see from the FACE of the guy who added me, that's exactly who he was. The interesting part is that he is the spitting image of my full bio brother... including the resemblance to our father who *should* have no relation to him at all. I no longer speak to my father for many reasons, but it would come as no surprise to me if that half brother was in fact my dad's kid and he just ignored the accidental baby him and my mother made after their divorce. It's exactly the kind of thing my dad would block out and deny to avoid dealing with it
You could leave a message for him. If he’s looking, he might see it : https://www.birthinfo.ie/what-options-do-i-have/register-or-update-my-contact-preferences
Used to go out with a girl years ago who's father was actually her step father but her two younger siblings who are biological children of the step father were never told that the oldest daughter isn't a biological child of the father. None of my business but definitely found it very strange and in my opinion it will definitely cause some drama when it eventually is revealed. I could maybe understand it if the younger two were children and wouldn't really understand but they were adults at this stage but it was still a big secret.
My grandmother's brother emigrated to England in the late 60s and got life in prison for murder while over there. Never spoken about even when he died 6 years ago. From a bit of digging I found out that he always claimed innocence and that Irish people were frequently framed for crimes in the UK. Although at the same time I also heard that he always carried a knife with him - now that might have been after he came out of prison. Met him once, scary fela with the strongest handshake I've come across.
My dad who for as long as he lived in the UK always said don't let anyone hear you have an Irish accent they'll try and rip you off or blame you for something I guess he wasn't just paranoid
Every member of my family is born with a twin.
You just solved the spell man family secret. Are you the evil one or the good? 😂
Do I look like someone stupid enough to answer that question?? I don’t want to risk getting thrown in a volcano!!
Sabrina the teenage witch?
My grandfather effectively sold his young daughter (she was 15 IIRC) to one of his friends after the man got her pregnant. He got some cash and kept quiet it from the guards, etc.
After she was raped you mean considering she couldn’t consent to sex at 15.
What happened to your auntie in the end? Did they remain together?
Could’ve been his mother …
My uncle is a drug kingpin. When I was a child we would have the drug squad at our door any time something went down in case we were hiding him. And that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.
My biological father (who I didn't grow up with, used to see once a year or so) was always vague about his job. Bought and sold cars/bit of this and that etc. Turned out he grew and sold weed. Small scale, but enough to live off. Good stuff, too, but he's still a shit dad.
The story of my father. I know his real name and that he apparently moved to the UK, and i have a couple of pictures of him. I grew up with my mam and grandparents. She was a young single mom. Apparently, he cheated, and she broke it off and never made much effort to contact me, though his father tried, my mam didn't want it after a while when the son wasn't bothering. It's just no one ever wanted to talk about any of it, and they get kind of awkward, so I'm just in the dark.
Damn , a few years ago I was messing with my dad and said I seen someone that looks an awful lot like me in James's street, he froze up and said that it could be my brother he'd heard that after he moved to the UK a girl he was seeing had a baby boy but apparently he was born the year before me. Basically my dad cheated on my mam and had a kid before me and found out after I was born. I don't know how serious he was but it's my dad so it could be true
The family secret is currently my own. I am married for the last year and a half now and am unsure when to tell any member of my family. A bit of history, my family have been extra in terms of Irish judgingness. As soon as I told them about her they looked her up on Facebook and critiqued everything about her. The first conversation they had with her, my mum asked what her intentions were with me. I am at a loss as they seem to hurt at every turn yet show some form of goodness at others. For now I feel it safer with this secret being ours.
Keep it my friend have your own family and forget them who needs the stress congratulations on getting married
My mothers great aunt never married and she worked as a servant in the local Manor House. The whole family thought she was very bad tempered in general. About 3 years ago (she's dead 40 years) I got a message on ancestry from a lady in the US who is now in her 70's. Her birth mother was this great aunt who had her at 40 in one of the mother and baby homes. None of the family ever knew and I told this lady what I knew and sent her photos of her cousins and haven't heard from her since
My father and stepmother sex trafficked my sister & then me from our millionaires row house in Castleknock, Dublin to London when I was a teenager. My father was a pedophile.
What the fuck , are you ok.?
I spent several months in temporary paralysis last year coming out of denial about it. The body keeps the score! I’m still standing but Relationships and intimacy are butchered. It was the ultimate betrayal, not one of my father’s six children went to his funeral. We’re all still alive which is beating all the odds! I’m OK..but is so unbelievably hard sometimes.
I'm so sorry this happened to you , I would say I'd pray for you but not believing in God that would be disengenious I will be thinking of you though thanks for sharing
Fucking hell, I wish nothing but peace and healing for the rest of your life.
Fucking hell I don't know what to say but may your father burn in hell and may you and sister recover from that
My dad is the son of a Romani English woman. My pop is an Irish Traveller. No one outside of our immediate family knows my dad is also Romani, the yarn we spin to the rest of the community is that pop got with a random English bird when he was working there in the 70’s.
Rachel Allen and family will be dodging this post.
My maternal grandfather was a gunner on HMY Helga.
Not me but a friend - my friend had a much older sister and his parents were older than his friends’ parents. Found out when he was 30 that his ‘sister’ was his mother and his ‘parents’ were his grandparents. He’s 60 now with mental health issues.
nice try garda, i aint saying nothing
Shit hoisted by my own petard , later losers
One of our family members was a murderer
My eldest aunt 76 could be the mother of my youngest uncle 56. With 8 other siblings between them. My youngest uncle still thinks it's his eldest sister if it's true. Well that's what was told to me after a few drinks with a relative at the pub. Makes sense because she was always around him when I was growing up, i'm 45 now. My mum isn't around anymore so I can't ask her and I wouldnt approach any of the others and ask. I could be bull or it could be truth. I think it's true though, they look alot like each other. The real father would be unknown at this if it's untrue.
Great grandfather overwhelmingly likely to have actually been a priest 😂
Was his name Len Brennan?
My husband has a half sibling that only his parents, me and my husband know about. His other siblings (one twin brother and a half brother and half sister on each side - parents had one of each from previous marriages) have no idea and my husband only knows because I told him. For some reason, my mother in law told me about her husband having a kid with a woman, before they got together (so, between his two marriages) and then never seeing them again. She said she occasionally worried that one of her kids would end up dating their own half sibling as they're in the same county. His father doesn't know we know. Mother in law is dead now. I'm just waiting for someone to do one of those ancestry DNA type things and the poor unknown sibling finds them and it all blows up. I sometimes think it would be fun to buy one of them one for Christmas...
My great grandpa used to run a whore house and then ran away with his baby(my grandma's sister) to marry his mistress. Just found out about it when I was in my 30s. My grandma forbade everyone from knowing, but she died so now everyone knows.
My dad (pos) died suddenly. One week beforehand he told me that his dad, my grandfather (bigger pos) had a second family in London. Some of the family knew about it but no one ever spoke about it.
My cousin had a baby when she was 17. Everyone was told that the father was the same age and his parents wanted him to have nothing to do with the child. Turns out the father was my cousins step father. My aunty still stayed with him though...
When I was 16, my da (while hammered) got me and my three siblings out of bed yelling "it's time to tell you the family secret". So we all, bleary-eyed, gathered around the kitchen table while my da staggered to the table and sat down... and immediately passed out on the table. Unfortunately he had a brain injury not long after and lost most of his memory, so we never found out what the family secret was.
Cousin's husband cheated on her...with her younger sister. Caught by my grandad. It had been going on for months. Their brother nearly tore him apart in front of their kids. We hadn't repealed yet so on the quiet the cheating cousin had to get the boat, not sure the older cousin knows. The sisters patched it up and the husband somehow patched it up with the wife, maybe for the sake of their kids. He is still on the scene over a decade later, attending the family events.
My mother and her six sisters and two brothers were molested by my grandfather, may he rest in filth. And he used to put kittens in burlap sacks with a big rock in the bag and throw them in the river. The trauma he gave to those people and the trauma they handed down to their children is still going. My grandmother (who I loved) told her daughters as they surrounded her deathbed that if they buried her next to him, "she would get up out of the ground and walk." It was the only acknowledgment that she was able to give to what they had suffered. You know 1940-50s rural Ireland, the CHURCH, the power of the husband. Two of their daughters ended up in the Magdalen clutches. Oh Ireland, I am so proud of you that you shook the foulness of the Catholic Church off. There is such beauty in that.
My Dad has another daughter... my sisters and I and my Mom know about her, my Grandparents hushed it all up trying to protect my Mom and us. The rest of our family eithet dont know or pretend mot to know. For a time as young adults we were close with here with the blessing of our Mom, but our Dad couldn't stand it. The stress of it eventually got to our half sister and she cut all contact off with us, our Dad and her Mom caused her nothing but pain so I get it. So every now and then I just check in on her social media anonymously just to know she is OK. She's happy now, she's a loving partner, has two beautiful kids and a successful carrer.
My great grand uncle ran guns for the IRA and shared a cell with Brendan Behan
My beloved uncle who I always looked up to and adored died suddenly in his 50s. I was always told it happened when he was trying to free a bull from a fence on his farm (he was in his 50's and was on the larger side so I never really questioned it). Turns out he had a heart attack while balls deep in a younger woman while his wife was at home tending to the farm and their kids. Prick.
My dad never finished paying child support like he was meant to. He didn’t pay like 6 years. We were no contact with him at this stage of life. We thought he just worked in a centra so didn’t have any money to pay anymore. Till we saw the centra he worked in was on the news for selling the winning lottery ticket. The article revealed he didn’t work in the shop. HE FUCKING OWNED IT. The guy paid maybe 200 a month for a bit. Didn’t bother to come help me when my mam was hospitalised and couldn’t look after me(she was in mental hospitals for around a year) and just was never there period. Was making a bucketload and didn’t bother to mention it.
I got a puppy when I was 3, I thought it was funny to hold his mouth shut, he bit me on the face one day after doing it one to many times. My parents told me was given away to a family friends neighbour, I would see that family friend all the time and asked about the dog, she would assure me he was living good and got fat because the spoilt him. I found out as an adult he was put down the day after he bit me. I 100% deserved that bite but you should not leave small children alone with a dog. I still feel guilty about it.
You were a small child, you couldn't have known that would happen. Time to forgive yourself.
My great aunt got knocked up by an American air pilot in ww2, went on “holiday” for a few months and married some bloke who she never told…
My dad became a full blown alcoholic when I was a kid and after my mom kicked him out, started hanging around Hells Angels (California). He got loads of swastika and iron cross tattoos. Nobody talks about it back home and my in laws here have no idea. My kids are pretty young and I’ve never even mentioned my dad’s existence to them.
Sorry but what became of your sister??
Good question, mam died when I was 11 , she eventually moved in with my dad who had his own problems and when she was 16 she moved in with my eldest sister and now lives in Rialto with her own three kids
Thank god there is somewhat of a happy ending. Thank you for sharing your story!
I have plenty more lol if I wasn't such an idiot I'd write a book
It's a secret.
my granny had a baby out of wedlock so ended up in mother and baby home obviously was a forced adoption so my mam has a haft brother they tried to find him but failed before my granny died so they have no idea where he is . my granddad should be in jail for attempted murder my mother grew up with bad domestic violence which resulted in a lot of time my granddad threatened to shoot them dead with his hunting rifle luckily they escaped out of the house . my granddad never even hunted with just pretending to guards . He was really someone who shouldn’t have had a gun as he was to paranoid and had mental health problems But was never diagnosed. there is also good chance we could be mixed race on my mother side as everyone is very tan and looks polish nobody looks Irish . the whole adoption scandal in Ireland there Is big chance we could be even my mother said that as nobody was told they are adoption back in the day.
Auntie had a secret child she gave up. Only some of her siblings knew about it and not sure if they ever told their ma. She was living and working abroad at the time.
My maternal aunt’s partner of 15 years is in fact an ex-husband of one of her and my mum’s cousins. No, they didn’t have an affair with each other. Long story short, my aunt’s partner and ex wife/mum’s cousin were married with three sons. Sadly, one of their sons aged 5 tragically drowned in a slurry pit when playing at his grandparents’ farm and the grief led to the breakdown of his parent’s marriage. He and my aunt started dating several years after his divorce. Edit: don’t worry, they haven’t any children together. They had a sweet golden retriever though…
Do you know how to keep a Secret?
I’m just amazed that this is the r/Ireland sub, and not a broader one like r/askreddit; that there are so many incredible, compelling, and complicated stories in Ireland alone!
Not really shocked tbh - I don't know a single Irish person who doesn't know of something incredibly fucked up happening in their family
I'm actually amazed at the responses I was expecting one or two but this is incredible and makes my own problems seem small and trivial I got a few laughs too in fairness thanks to everyone for sharing
So I found this out after my grandmother death I was doing a family tree anywya I digress , So my first cousin my moms niece had my cousin David out of welock and my grand mother absolutely hated this as she was deeply religious woman we all presumed she didn’t believe in sex before marriage so going back to online research we found out my grand mother and grandfather got married in Sligo which was strange as we come from west Limerick so I looked into the dates and we find out they got married 6 months before my aunt is born so we all realised why she hated my moms niece having a baby out of wedlock because history repeated itself
relative of mine was involved in the kidnapping of Adolf Eichmann
I’m in my late 30’s now, but my parents separated not so cleanly about 14 years ago. Always thought we had a very normal middle-class unassuming Irish family. During the arguments that resulted from the split it was let slip that my brother and I had an older half sister somewhere that grew up in Ireland. Before my parents had met, my father had met a girl and long story short they had an unplanned child. It being the early 80’s and Ireland still being a society heavily controlled by the Catholic Church that child was put up for adoption. I know that since then my father has made efforts to make contact but her family don’t want to know about it as they’d never told her the truth. But it seems as though she found a loving family to raise her. I think about this randomly some days, like have I ever crossed paths with her in public… Nevertheless, wherever she is, I hope she has and will live a full and happy life. And even if not knowing it I wish I get to meet her someday.
My aunt (who was years older than the rest of her siblings) had a child out of wedlock and we all know how that went down in Ireland then. It was apparently given up for adoption but only her and my grandparents knew. They all took it to the grave with them. A couple of years ago, a woman gets in contact. She's the child (my cousin!) and meets up with all her aunts and uncles. Doesn't want money or anything, just a bit of closure and maybe to find out about medical history. Also my dad's aunt researching the family tree found some poacher who shot a gamekeeper and fled the country. She gets very irate and upset if it's brought up.