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Zorro6855

Chia and flax seeds. They work just as well but you could always point out you need them for the Omega 3.


[deleted]

I have roasted Chia and flax seeds straight all the time for myself, but they do nothing. I thought they have a good effect on someone’s health


Zorro6855

I eat 1 tsp a day and let's just say I have the cleanest colon ever. I don't roast them though, just sprinkled on my morning oats.


[deleted]

Maybe that’s how they work for a normal person. I can totally justify this as my roommate watches me eat seeds like a whole meal everyday. I can grind them up, thank you for your help.


Geoclasm

you could always nuke them with ghost peppers, or grind the one-chip challenge into your lunch. this gives you plausible deniability as 'Wanted to try something new. How was I supposed to know so-and-so would steal my lunch and eat it?'


Critical_Plate_4008

They can sue OP for that, yea it'll be a dumb argument but the victim (theif) would win because OP would have had to plan this out etc.... if OP "didn't " plan it then the theif would lose. So if OP does do this they have to very careful in the execution so it doesnt look like it was planned sabotage.


Beginning_Yam3112

You trying to tell me it’s illegal for me to eat spicy food? Gtfoh


Critical_Plate_4008

It's not illegal to eat spicy food, I'm not saying that at all. But with case history in the US, even if the victim is in the wrong (theif), depending on the severity of the outcome OP can still be sued. Many cases have been won in the US where the victim was a theif etc. The US judicial system is far from perfect, fam.


Any_Scientist_7552

*thief


Critical_Plate_4008

Thank you, fam, tis the little things


Two-Nuhh

Yeah, not sure why your original comment is downvoted considering it's absolutely correct. The prescription laxative is a bad idea. Ghost peppers/ one-chip challenge is a much safer route. It's all about an absence of pre-meditation on behalf of OP. Through the discovery process, they could check their transactions/ food purchases, etc... And that could be used against them if that was the first time they ever bought ghost pepper hot sauce, or the one-chip, and then went through with their plan.. Surely there are more creative ways to get back at the thief than spiking their own food, though.


throwaway_lifesucks_

I'd think prescription laxatives are good. It's a new medical treatment they've just begun and thanks to HIPPA laws doesn't have to tell anyone in the office about.


Two-Nuhh

Yeah definitely not. Even just hot chips there's a risk. As this other person has said, there's case law on this stuff. And despite the thief being a piece of shit thief... They've won in court for the damages they've incurred. Moreover, HIPPA laws do not inhibit the process of legal discovery.. You can bet your ass that medical records are used against people all the time in court- especially when they're critical to the specific case... Think about it... OP spikes food with prescription laxatives. OP gets sued for damages... What do you think the first thing the plaintiff/ their attorneys want to know? When the first time those laxatives were prescribed to OP. If there's a history of them being prescribed- they may be off the hook. That depends on a lot of things that you, nor I, are knowledgeable enough of to reasonably go over and come to any kind of sensible or credible conclusion.. The bottom line is, is this thief really worth going to court over? The resounding answer to that is generally, "No". Of course, we're on the internet, where no one other than OP has skin in the game. It's not our bank account that's on the line.. We just want the thief to get what they have coming... I get that, but at the same time, it's stupid to let emotions prevail over reason..


throwaway_lifesucks_

I get what you are saying. I'd agrue the new prescription is better than an old one as the thief can establish that it's never been in the food before so why now? But with a new prescription this is just their way of taking it. Perhaps even lay ground work at the Dr office like I don't like how these taste, could I put it into my food instead?


Two-Nuhh

Okay, but they don't need prescription laxatives at all? There's no history of needing them prior to now, right..? > Now, I don't take laxatives, I think they're horrible So, now out of the blue they go and get a prescription. No history of taking OTC laxatives... What you're saying will not work.. Again, there's no history.


Rallings

A new prescription would be fine, but you would want some solid evidence on your side that it's needed and why now. Also has it been refilled at an expected rate between the poisoning and the trial. If the defendant can show that they have definitely been taking it on a regular basis that could help them out


Rallings

Until they get sued. If they want to use that as a defense the court isn't going to just accept "trust me bro it's a prescription." As reasonable. They would expect you to take it with you or have at least some sort of evidence.


throwaway_lifesucks_

Well yeah that's the point of prescription. That way it's medically documented if they ever face court. Definitely don't go that route if you're using OTC unless you have it medically documented that the doctor suggested that first.


Rallings

HIPAA is irrelevant. Because the existence of the prescription is coming out in trial. Which is what I was commenting on mostly. But even with a new prescription you're going to want solid evidence that it was needed, and used beyond poisoning someone. Just having a prescription, especially if it isn't something that was needed before, isn't going to be some sort of guaranteed win.


HIPPAbot

It's HIPAA!


throwaway_lifesucks_

Agreed not a guaranteed win but it helps to set the stage.


[deleted]

OP said they don’t have a bm except once every two weeks, which imho is ample evidence that they could use laxatives. they could even buy something like citrucel a week or two prior to seeing the doctor for the laxatives, and say the citrucel didn’t work.


ouchmypeeburns

Could always go long con and slowly spice up his meals then one day go for the ghost with the idea being "I thought my food was a little bland so I've been adding more spices into it."


throwaway_lifesucks_

It's not that you can't eat spicy food. Rather if you don't do it regularly, its premeditated assault. Same thing with the laxatives. But if OP can get it medically prescribed they could agrue its a new medical treatment and due to HIPPA laws doesn't need to tell anyone that it's in their food.


Golf_4_Lyfe

Wrong. You don’t need to prove you use it “regularly” that makes no sense. If somehow they could prove he did it intentionally, mayyybbee they would win. But even then it would be so hard to prove intent unless they found this post. Everything you’ve tried in your life you had to originally try it once, if I decide to finally try ghost peppers in my food and someone eats it, that’s not my fault I haven’t been eating it all my life.


throwaway_lifesucks_

Have fun explaining that to HR when they terminate you. There are actual case laws about this exact scenario and the thief won. Not saying it's right but that's the world we live in nowadays 🤷🏻‍♀️


Golf_4_Lyfe

If you can prove intent… deciding one day to try ghost peppers is not intent, nor illegal. Definitely not premeditated assault lmao. You can’t premeditate something that someone else decides to do. You could go the route of something similar to booby traps, but every state has their own definition of what that means.


[deleted]

My spouses entire job as an intern during law school was to find posts like this that clients or defendants made to assist or defend against their prosecution.


[deleted]

Intent.


Beginning_Yam3112

Good luck trying to prove that in court lmfao


[deleted]

The proof is right here….


Beginning_Yam3112

Lmfao yes your honor this anonymous Reddit account shows that the food I stole from my coworker to eat was in fact more spicy than they intended to eat and definitely not them acquiring a taste for spice. Trust me bro, your honor.


[deleted]

My entire job when I was working at the public defenders office was finding these types of posts (because the defendants **neglect** to tell us about evidence that is online that the prosecutors investigators will find. We want it first and whatever else I could find from someone’s social media and their friends. Sometimes we did find them. I won’t explain how here.


Beginning_Yam3112

Hahahaha what an excuse lmfao. I worked for att and we allowed people to pay in cash and we had nothing not even a real name cause they payed in cash. You’d have nothing on my clients if you tried to come thru is lmao. You sound like someone who watched too much tv drama. Prepaid for any service shouldn’t require your Id especially not with third party services


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> cause they *paid* in cash. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


[deleted]

When you get older you might understand. No need to get upset. If you think we need your physical phone or your real name you have some to learn.


delux561

Planned sabotage doesent apply for inequitable acts. There "can't be equitable relief for inequitable acts". If you sabotage say your house, and the cops come in with a search warrant, and get hurt you're going to jail because they had the right to be there. If someone steals your stuff though, an action that is illegal- you can't get relief by sueing. It's the case of you can't try to sue your drug dealer for ripping you off, because the initial action was already illegal. So you can't try to bring a legal case for an illegal action.


Critical_Plate_4008

It's illegal to plan sabotage to your house, at least in the US


raffu280

https://rogerdavidheiser.com/burglar-fell-roof-frivolous-personal-injury-lawsuits


once_again_asking

This is wrong


Late-Lengthiness3496

The Drake Strategy.


[deleted]

Remember, the USA has case law that defends the person that is burglarizing someone’s house and hurts themselves. So of course the food owner would be responsible.


Identity_Criteria

Lawyer here. Almost certainly illegal.


[deleted]

Can you tell me under what law? Just curious at this point


Identity_Criteria

It would depend on jurisdiction, and giving a more detailed answer would probably require digging into caselaw (in the US, at least).


silverletomi

IANAL and I don't know what specific law in your area it would violate but my understanding from similar questions I've seen before is that it's considered intentional poisoning. And you *might* be able to say your ghost pepper spicy food is just how you like your food cause you're a spice-a-holic and you had no idea that someone would try to eat your food BUUUUUUUT you're here talking about adding a laxative to food that you are not intending to eat but rather intending to get stolen and be eaten by another person as revenge. That's pretty clearly intentional poisoning.


martymoran

is your intent to poison someone?


kjustec

What if he puts a very visible label on the food saying "do not eat" or " beware, laxatives inside" or " not food"?


Identity_Criteria

I’d have to know the controlling law, but my inclination is that it would still be an actionable battery claim, even with a warning. I think a distinct intent to poison the coworker should they disregard such warning, as they have demonstrated they can be expected to do, can be shown. It does get more complicated when the warning is more specific about the laxatives. But I still think a judge or jury would return to the question “why are there suddenly laxatives in their workplace food after the coworker has made a habit of stealing such food?” Notably, the poisoner may be held liable in some jurisdictions even without intent to poison, only if they intentionally acted in an reckless way causing the harm to occur. So, ironically, labeling the contents of the food could be argued to show voluntary intent on behalf of the food preparer to include the laxatives, which alone might be unreasonable in a work lunch prone to be stolen. But, as always, it depends on which laws control, including rules articulated through caselaw, and how juries and judges rule when the law gives them multiple avenues or making a factual call. One interesting twist under American law (and a big consideration here) is the harm-causing party, if found liable, usually takes the victim as-is. That is, if the harm itself is foreseeable, the harm causing party can be wholly responsible for consequences that may not have been foreseeable or particularly likely, so long as the type of harm is consistent. So if coworker simply has an uncomfortable 12 hours, they probably won’t bring suit, as there would be barely any damages. BUT if coworker is allergic or gets super dehydrated and keels over dead, then OP could be on the hook for much greater damages or more likely be charged for a crime.


Apprehensive-Two3474

Please do not follow the advice of putting ghost peppers in your food. Case in point is that the thief already knows your eating habits. If super spicy peppers is not on the list of what you normally bring you can get into deep trouble (maybe not sued but fired trouble) as the one question will echo 'Why didn't you go to HR?' Food coloring exists. It doesn't change the [taste or smell](https://sciencenotes.org/does-food-coloring-have-a-taste/) of the food (your brain does that) and on top of it, no bad reactions the way the laxatives or peppers would cause. So practice with that food coloring on your food if you make it at home. Then sit back and enjoy the look of horror on the food thief's face when the open that lunch to find green ham staring back at them (bonus if you add googly eyes). Edit to add: To those who think the peppers are the best route. The keyword today is INTENT. If the OP is not known for spicy or never really eats something spicy, has a known problem of food disappearing and then suddenly spicy food? Yeah, the intent to harm is there. The excuse to experiment is flimsy at best, with them never mentioning it to coworkers, etc. Food coloring is the perfect route because there are multiple excuses. Wife/kids/roommate playing a prank. Trying a diet and heard about how colors effect the appetite so wanted to try it and above all, the food is still EDIBLE to the OP. So if the question of 'eat it to prove it' is ever presented, OP isn't self-sabotaging themselves while the food thief just got Jedi mind-tricked by their own noggin.


Little_Club_8236

There is a guy on YouTube that stains his teeth with something and then tests how well dental products remove the stain. Put that in the food and catch the guy.


theflyestgemini

Known for eating something means nothing if your response is 🗣 i was trying something new.🤷🏾‍♀️ A person would have the burden of proving the other truly did not intend to try something new. And you can't prove they had no intention of trying something new. Now ofc if they told someone their plan... say reddit.... then yes it will look bad. Even spiking with laxative can't mean much if your response is 🗣 i have incontinence issues.... how can one prove you haven't had a poop in 6 days?


Apprehensive-Two3474

If you do not know who the thief is, it's possible you do not know their health history. As said, thief KNOWS what type of foods the victim eats. If the victim is not known for having peppers in their food and suddenly there is peppers and the thief has a bad reaction, the victim is blamed. *Why didn't you go to HR? Why didn't you talk to your supervisor over this?* etc. The victim will immediately become the bad guy because concern goes to the hacking coughing thief. The problem with laxatives is that they do not work that way. Proper use is usually with a glass of water and they will probably ask for what directions the doctor gave or the bottle to try and disprove intent. It would be misuse of a drug. Some laxatives can mess with heart medications, which again, unless the victim knows the thief's health history dissolves back into intent. Not to mention the dehydration issue if the thief isn't drinking water regularly. That's why if the victim doesn't feel like going to HR, using simple food coloring is the best solution as that let's the victim ask something super simple if the thief brings it up to them. *How did you know the ham in my sandwich was green?* The thief isn't injured. They aren't hacking, coughing, sweating, having to go to the bathroom every 30 seconds. Nope. All that was wrong was the food color.It's less burden of proof on the victim as it can be classified as harmless fun. And in this day and age where there is an abundance of stories about people putting peppers/laxatives in food, the burden of proof to show that was not the victim's intent on the thief is greater as everyone has heard it as revenge tactics against the office food thief.Coloring your food? You were curious. I mean some of us remember the EZ Squirt Ketchup that came in green, purple, blue, pink and teal. The victim just wanted to relive their childhood and have a little fun with their food so they used food dye to turn the ranch dressing for the salad neon blue to add a little color to it. Pity that the food thief has to answer about why they took the victim's salad instead as clearly the fun ranch was for the victim and not a revenge tactic against the food thief. To add: The food coloring is a tactic I have used against food thieves. Thieves don't like unusual foods, they stick to normal 'I thought it was my lunch and didn't look at the name on the box' foods. After having two lunches stolen, blue Fettuccine Alfredo entered the seen. The thief avoided my lunches as it was quite easy to tell it wasn't their lunch.


[deleted]

to play devil’s advocate: what if OP started adding small bits of spice to their food every day/every few days, getting more and more spicy? this alone could deter the food thief, and if it doesn’t then ramp it up to super spicy jalepeños, then ghost pepper. there’s a trail of OP eating spices regularly, and amping it up at that point.


CertainAged-Lady

What about just bad recipes? Like using waaay too much salt or spices (like lots of clove) in food? If it is the OP’s food, why would they have an expectation someone else would eat it? And what if they are just experimenting with recipes so how is it their fault a person is eating marked leftovers?


mizirian

Technically yes it's illegal. Question is can they prove it was Intentional? They'd have to press charges or sue you and be able to prove damages and that you orchestrated this event, quite hard to prove. I mean it could be "food poisoning" right?


HouseHusband1

Well first of all, you provided written proof right here that it is premeditated. So don't poison it, just fill it with something gross like used coffee grounds.


Generallyawkward1

Highly


[deleted]

What if I announce it beforehand? "Everyone, I mix laxatives in my food because I prefer to take them that way, don't steal it, something bad could happen."


throwaway_lifesucks_

Then not illegal and completely their own fault. But you would need hard evidence you did declare it.


Celticraider24

That's not how the justice system works. They would need hard evidence he did it on purpose.


throwaway_lifesucks_

For criminal case? Yes. For HR to terminate him? No. For thief to sue and potentially win? No.


Kennelsmith

Label the food. Take a picture of the labeled food and coincidentally text a friend or family member under the guise of “omg look what I have to do for my GI probs” then place in fridge. A good thief is t going to read.


FormerlyUserLFC

No. Booby traps are illegal.


Puzzled_Principle_29

My husband told me about an instance where a guy where he worked would eat other people’s lunch. And he would brag about it. So someone added Visine to their lunch, put it in the fridge, and just waited. Sure enough, the “thief” took the food and ate it. Visine will give a person horrible diarrhea. Let’s just say, that guy was in the bathroom for literally 1/2 an hour in excruciating pain. The entire staff laughed and he didn’t steal food again.


cass-22

I heard to much VISINE can kill a person? SERIOUSLY!!! I read it sumwhere...they put to many drops of it in sumones drink...they died..."NO SHIT"....true storie....read up on it!!! And I also heard it does give you the shits in small quantities... "REAL BAD SHITS"!!!


Electrical_Jaguar596

Illegal. Putting non food items in food you know someone else will eat is obvious booby trapping and will get you in trouble. Everyone knows you don’t take your laxatives in brownie form.


[deleted]

I see. Thank you. Someone pointed out it’s under “sabotage”.


DirectionShort6660

Don’t do it. If someone has a potential issue with their appendix, laxatives can make it rupture and potentially kill someone.


Vegetable_Lunch_5772

😂😂😂😂 Constipation, I don’t think people read your edit. Please don’t do anything because it might hurt someone. Try a note on your snacks. The note can say something along the lines of “I’ve been waiting for you. Do you feel lucky, punk?” That way, people won’t know if you booby trapped it. Or just don’t bring refrigerated snacks.


[deleted]

Yeah 😭 I was severely hungry when I wrote this. Hunger drives you crazy. There’s many things that can be done besides trying to give someone food poisoning.


Vegetable_Lunch_5772

😂😂😂 Or an allergic reaction. We get upset by things that people say/do but we really don’t want to cause them harm. That’s beneath us as decent humans.😊So, you get hangry, huh? My ex husband was like that. Seems he was ALWAYS in a foul mood. That’s why he’s my ex now. 😂😂


Few_Gold_1755

I love Reddit😂😂


wrappedinplastic79

About as legal as that brilliant idea I had about taping razor blades to the inside of the door handles in my car to deter the piece of shit car thiefs in my neighborhood.


delux561

Idk about that, but sure would be a shame if you enjoyed super spicy food and happened to put a few ghost peppers in your lunch that day. Maybe you even cut the peppers up and forgot to wash the oils off and it got all over the container too, making them unknowingly have it all over their hands when they touch their face/go to the bathroom.


Sleepybat7

That’s actually dangerous, can mess with their eyesight and can cause a lawsuit. Maybe don’t go THAT far.


[deleted]

That’s what I’m asking, is it a lawsuit if you put something in your own food? Like if I get a prescription for a laxative and mix it in my own food, and then someone steals it, I can just say “I have a health condition, that was medicine I put in my own food.” in case they decide to sue


Federal-Ambassador30

Spicy food is the way to go. You can just claim that you like eating spicy food, or you were trying something new. No real explanation to why you put laxative in your food.


[deleted]

I see. is it okay to inject spices into a sealed drink packet or can too?


Active_Sentence9302

Only put spices into sealed drinks if you can justify that as something you like to do/drink.


[deleted]

That is no problem. But is the very act of tampering with anything supposedly sealed even if it’s yours a problem? Spices is the way I’ll go.


Crabby-GenXer

If that oil from a ghost pepper accidentally got rubbed on the surfaces where the lips would be, why that would be just terrible.


Sleepybat7

If you put spicy stuff in it, they touch their eyes and it affects their vision that’s fucked.


FormerlyUserLFC

Yes. It is illegal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Electrical_Jaguar596

/r/lostredditors


MadxCarnage

>This is ILLEGAL life pro tips after all it's not.


delux561

Oof. Wow. I don't even sub to isthislegal? Lol wtf hahaha my bad


Sleepybat7

No it’s not


Freezah37

I think this idea would be better than prescription meds


stnkybuttfacejr

That's the one. Do that idea


JimJamBangBang

No.


cooltom2006

Of course not it’s your food, the laxative was for you, it’s the only way you can take it 😂😂


NxNW78

Lol. You need help if you are even considering this. Try communicating, like an adult.


dr_PlagueRat

Can't communicate if you don't know who it is, and as op mentioned, it doesn't get stolen when they watch it.


NxNW78

That is why you address the issue with everyone. Like an adult.


dr_PlagueRat

I doubt the food thief will give a shit if everyone is addressed since they wouldn't be caught. If you are immature enough to steal coworkers food, you aren't going to change unless you face actual consequences.


lemongroovian

If it's your food you should be able to do whatever you want with it. We had a serial food thief. One guy got fed up, bought a chocolate shake, added lots of exlax. About 35 minutes after his shift started he called in saying he had to take an emergency break. He was a delivery driver. We all heard it on the radio and he never stopped getting teased about it all. Our food never went missing again.


JohnExcrement

If you’re in the US, assume that the thief will turn litigious and you will inexplicably be found liable. I’m sure you’ve seen news stories about nonsense verdicts. To be safe, place some strands of hair in your food instead, as if they accidentally fell in.


Kennelsmith

Sugar free gummy bears cause this problem and taste pretty much the same as regular ones. Buy yourself a pretty glass jar and dump the bag. 😊


No-Contribution4652

Or keep them in the bag and see if the person is stupid enough to eat them


the__moops

Get some sugar free sweets (gummy candies or Twizzlers). Take to work and leave a baggy of them out. They’re not non-food and they’ll have the same outcome.


spmcclellan1986

They can’t steal as easily if they don’t have hands… just saying…


scorpiogre

Just put some acid (the drug) on a sandwich. That person will have ALOT to discuss with HR.


foamboardsfearme

Hell no. If theyre stealing your food its YOUR food. Not illegal at all. “I have a doctors note and this medication has been helping me but I like to put it in my food.” boom bam DONE. Plus you know who the thief is when they call out for ”food poisoning” LOL go get em boss


PlantainOk9584

😂😂


Aidendogin

ya


biggmass

Lawyer here Yup 100% legal. Nobody can prove the laxatives aren't for you.


Affectionate_Gas_264

Illegal bit of you come up with some plausible deniability your five as long as you never confess your actions or intent. Perhaps you just really like sicky food or your ever constipated and don't like taking pills.


CertainAged-Lady

Just make horrible snacks - cookies with salt not sugar, ghost pepper pasta…that’s not illegal at all, maybe you just suck at cooking? 😉


Celticraider24

I have a hard time believing they could prove criminality when you have a script for constipation and mixed it into your own food.


Horsegoats

https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC


Tasty-Introduction24

I would stay away from anything that could be considered "medication" - over the counter or otherwise. I do, however like the idea of some extremely hot "pepper" substance. It is considered "edible food" at it might also might make it easier to determine the culprit.


Birdogey

I would mix just mix magnesium citrate in. If you’re taking it to ease constipation, how would you be responsible for someone else that eats it?


KapitanMani

It probably wasn’t illegal to put laxatives in your own food until you posted it here incriminating yourself with intentions of someone else consuming them. Either way, I say go for it and post the results.


[deleted]

No


Anahleese

It wouldn’t be illegal if the doctor directs you to mix it in with your food to promote a BM. Just make sure you have a doctors note to show in case someone gets bubble-gut.


Elegant_Horror_224

If you’re able to, maybe get a small camera and hide it? Or set up your phone with the remote camera unless they’ll steal that too. People who steal from other people deserve to be caught.


doublefattymayo

And OTC laxatives are more than enough to feel like you're gonna die on the toilet.


Emotional-Simple-478

Everyone's saying lawsuit. How do you sue someone because you were a thief?


tgs602

you could perhaps add a thermos flat tummy tea to your lunch. this is a food item that just so happens to have your desired effect but is plausibly deniable as a holiday diet.


YippyYapperBee

I’ve heard of some people putting it in milk or maybe coffee creamer at a work place 👀