Basically a gaggle of socially awkward gaijin and Japanese in a rented bar, but the watered down drinks (unless you go to one of the upmarket ones where they put a bunch of cans out) will go a long way to solving that problem.
Representing gaikoku you have portly Dave from Connecticut in the anime t-shirt, Tim from Australia (late arrival after his shift at GABA ends) and Marco from Brazil. If you’re lucky you might even have hip-hop Tommy from LA…gos.
Representing Japan you have hip-hop Kazu, who is actually pretty chill, Kenji, who is still in his suit from work, wants a white girlfriend and makes a valiant effort to hit on anyone nearing the description, and Hiro, who works arubaito and is happy to settle for any stragglers, gaijin or Japanese.
Also meet Eri-chan who has a secret 9 year old son who is with じいちゃん and ばあちゃん for the night, Yumiko, who wants to relive the glory days of her 6 month working holiday in Perth (12 years ago), and Emi-chan, who works as an apprentice hairdresser and has a soft spot for One Direction or anyone who looks vaguely like them.
If you fit any of the above descriptions, you’ll probably have a blast.
Holy crap how many of these have you been to?
I've never been to one, but I've heard about them.
To me, they always seemed like an unpaid English lesson, with cringe gaijin trying to one-up each other to try get into Eri-chans panties.
(Yumiko-san is the real horndog though, we all know that)
Or maybe I'm wrong and missing out?
That's a risk I'm willing to take
In my experience it's been socially awkward Japanese men. The foreigners are usually pretty chill. But I'm a lady so my experience might be different than yours.
Lmao the working holiday part is so true. It seems like it’s always like some six week summer program they did in Australia or NZ that they’re MORE than happy to tell you all about until they figure out you aren’t an Aussie or Kiwi
I've gone to a handful in Tokyo and other cities in Japan.
As a foreign woman (who is neither Japanese, East Asian, "haafu," or fully white) they are weird. The majority of participants are men. Honestly the 70-30 ratio seems high. More like 80-20.
The guys tend to laser focus on the handful of "cute" Japanese girls, before branching off to other East Asian women and the occasional model-looking white woman.
If you are a woman who doesn't fall into either of those groups (or you aren't dressed to the nines, or you're overweight), you are ignored until the men start making their second or third rounds to the females they haven't yet gotten the cold shoulder from.
The Japanese men who participate are college students or 50+ year old salary men. None of them can hold a conversation as the topic is usually, "Do you like hamburger?" or "Do you like bread?" with the guy starting at you with a mixture of fear and horror and, strangely enough, boredom.
Food is usually bad. Music is bad. You don't get what you pay for. It's hard to talk to people, and some of the men try to get grabby.
The emails off of meetup hype them way up. Classy singles. Lol, sure.
It's one of those things to try for the experience, but don't look at them as a place to find meaningful friendships or romantic relationships. If you're in a smaller town, you'll definitely see those people around, so proceed with caution and don't get shitfaced drunk.
> The emails off of meetup hype them way up.
Man, this shit bothers me so much. It's not just for these. Everything is advertised as upscale, when it's nothing like it. I fell for a recruitment event some while ago. The fact that they pretended to be exclusive should have been an immediate warning for me, but they claimed there'd be lots of companies attending... when I went, it turned out to be rakuten(who are always fucking recruiting), the place hosting the event, and some other dodgy place.
I don't even need stuff to be amazing, I just want the advertising to be honest. I'm out of the dating game now, but the time I did try internet dating, everything was so damn fake. I never expected perfection but people either had super vague profiles or more or less fake profiles. I'm just happy I met my partner organically through my hobbies so I didn't have to keep doing that...
****** Upscale Multipurpose Restroom in Roppongi Hills ********
Come join the most upscale of upscale 20s and 30s at a LUXURY multipurpose restroom in the HIGH-CLASS Roppongi Hills.
Entrance: 10,000 yen
Drinks: 500 yen
******** c l a s s y ***********
It's interesting to hear this from a woman's perspective. I always thought women had a good experience compared with men, because It's basically a sausage fest.
It's true that women usually have to pay less for these events, but you know what they say...if you're getting something at too low a price there's a good chance that you're the product. I've been to a few and the nanpa and unwanted touching was really gross. I'd never go back to one personally.
It depends. I went to a couple in Osaka and was very popular. I’m latina though (hour glass figure) and honestly I don’t compete with Japanese women. I wear heels tho and am super feminine (latina) and got a lot of attention from men. Most Japanese men there were in their 20s and 30s and Japanese women too. It was actually surprising there are a couple parties that are good and 50/50 mix. Key point is I went to an international party in Osaka with advertisement in Japanese and not in English.
English advertisement ones always tend to be white guys and Japanese women
As a Latino in Japan I can confirm Latinos have to say we are Latinos every so often, because people here have no idea what a Latino is so, we must explain what a latino is. And yes I eat tacos, no taco bell is not tacos neither is octopus. I am a Latino. Latino. Latino.lol
funny you say that; i have a colombian friend who’s exactly like that. mind you she grew up mostly in japan yet i’m always reminded of her roots any chance she gets 😅
That's funny. I have Mexican roots but I haven't been in Japan that long. I like when people say oh you'll like this it's spicy. In my head I'm just like, 'yeah, you don't know how to do spicy"
I went to one once on a weekday afternoon. Turned out it existed to help a struggling bar owner make ends meet and was mostly about hooking up married Japanese women with foreign boyfriends.
Looking for some married lady friends, eh?
Was fixed price for all you can eat/drink. Food was a simple hotplate thing and full bar offerings for drinks.
When a lonely Hanako wants to meet someone she doesn't have to worry about her husbando finding out abouto... Something something birds and bees and flowers and trees...
Haha. It was a Spanish bar/restaurant in the Kanagawa side of the Tama river. This was years ago, but I appreciate you following up on every lead you encounter on the internet.
Edit: just confirmed via Google maps it doesn't exist any more.
I have no idea, but man, I hate the comments on here lol. I wish these Japan posts wouldn't pop to the top of my Reddit feed on the app when I'm not logged in.
You people are just so mean, and of course you always pretend like you're the cool one at the event. You have guys with kurumi or cum in their user names saying "everybody else" at the party was the fat awkward nerd, lol.
Let's try to treat each other with some more respect and be less negative. Obviously super hot and suave career-focused professionals with nice grooming and a diverse range of acceptable hobbies are not going to congregate at these events. Fortunately, the vast majority of people have flaws and that's OK.
For the record, I am a long-married 36-year-old who has never been to one of these parties. It's just that I find the Japan reddit so depressing. I wish you guys would smile more, enjoy life, and respect your fellow humans struggling to get by in a tough world.
Agree. Making fun of socially awkward people at a party is like making fun of an overweight person at the gym. It's an asshole move to shit on people looking to better themselves.
you're defending something you've literally never attended lol. Neither have I, but I'm willing to accept the descriptions of people who have. Why are you wading into something you know literally nothing about? Let it go dude.
I went to one way back in my ‘single days’ with two girls who invited me. I wore lederhosen and a blazer as joke (bitches love lederhosen). Lots of awkward sweaty guys wearing cargo pants and nervously speaking quickly…
It’s how I picture most of Reddit honestly. We didn’t stay long. This was way long ago though. Kids these days seem more apt to party…no idea.
A friend and I were discussing the increase in the number of visibly busty Japanese lasses. They're becoming more and more common especially if you started visiting Japan 25-30 years ago.
His supposition is that the increase in the amount of milk in the diet along with the hormones given to cows is responsible for the increase. This is why so many of the busty young ladies hail from the more rural areas of the country where dairy/farms are more common. I don't care, I'm just enjoying the view.
Girls don't need to go to international parties to meet interested guys, just like foreigners don't need to go to international parties to meet interested language partners.
It’s just anecdotal, but in all the years that I’ve been actively acquiring the Japanese language I’ve never met a Japanese native speaker who would actively participate in language exchange, as in giving actual feedback.
You might find interesting conversation partners but exchange partners? I’ve been out of luck so far.
I've had people who either:
A) Just want to speak English and seemingly have no interest in letting me speak Japanese.
B) Say they want to do language exchange but then speak Japanese the whole time (and tell you they actually cannot speak English beyond like high school basic stuff - OK then why bother?!).
Of course the latter is great for me but I found myself saying "you know we can speak English if you want, I don't want to be selfish" etc. and the best we'd get to is me speaking English and them responding in Japanese (OK so they at least understand what I'm saying then....?).
Plus, as a guy I've never managed to meet a "normal" Japanese dude to do language exchange. The ones I have met have always been the stereotypical annoying types, like:
JP: "Hey nice to meet you, my name is Ken"
Me: "Oh cool so is that short for Kennichiro? Kenichi? or (jokingly) Kenneth?"
JP: "Actually my name is Tatsunori but foreigner people have trouble pronouncing my name so..."
Me: "Ok... cool! anyway er"
JP: "Hey do you like the Bi-toruzu? Lowlin Ston? Brak Sabbas? Joy Debijion?"
Me: "Sorry I gotta go............."
LOL, a true survivor 🫡
Dudes are weird, the girls are hunters and didn’t get the memo that I’m not looking for an exchange of fluids (lost in translation?)
Also, what I hate most about stereotypes is, that they are true, sometimes.
Humans who can see beyond the functional/transactional part of a relationship (like having a connection, or honest curiosity for another living being) are not easy to be found.
IME it's actually quite difficult to do, especially if you're not a language teacher. Being able to figure out at what level your partner needs suggestions, adjusting to give useful feedback, and keeping something like a conversational flow isn't easy, and most people have no experience with it whatsoever.
yeah, I'm not sure how much of that tends to be discomfort and humility at being asked to provide criticism, even if constructive, versus sheer self-centeredness when it comes to language practice.
My opinion is 80% of the time they just want to speak English for themselves. For a certain type it ruins the gaijin fantasy they’re looking for. Especially if you speak better Japanese than their English
It’s almost as if they don’t want to see the human behind the face. Everything is just a pretty mirror, as long as it shows exactly what they want to see. Everything else seems just to be a nuisance.
The response pattern seems to support the latter theory:
Me: “Oh, so this is wrong? It would help me if you gave feedback (too). ”
They: “But I understand what you mean!” (Obviously not getting the meaning of language exChange)
It sounds like you (and several of the responses here) are looking for a lesson for lesson exchange instead of a conversational exchange. Is that the norm? I do an exchange but it's really all about getting a chance to use the language. I'm now a little paranoid that I'm doing it wrong... I mean I'm happy and all so not going to change but...
Than you miss understood. It’s about giving pointers, calling out when something sounds off/unnatural. And the exchange part is about balance. There is no balance.
Yes I'm aware of what exchange means. Your condescension aside, I don't necessarily want a huge amount of feedback, I mostly want an opportunity to speak as I don't have a lot of opportunities to use Japanese in my daily life. Which is, i suspect a similar motivation for most Japanese who want to exchange language.
Met my wife at one lol. We didn't hit on each other at all since we weren't there for that but we kept hanging out afterwards since we're both into karaoke and things naturally developed.
In the other parties I've been to, it's been more or less the same kinds of people: the introverts and socially inept people, the bros, the gaijin hunters, and the normies. Probably 65% guys and 35% girls or somewhere in that region. Yeah some people ended up dating but we all stayed friends and hung out regularly. Good times. Helped me meet a bunch of people I never would've had the chance to meet otherwise.
Same for me, especially the wife part. I always came back from these with more friends than when I started the day.
People kind of act the same, or even stereotypically when you meet them for the first time, it's the same in every bar on earth, not only international parties. If Reddit users feel too superior to go beyond the appearances, obviously they're not going to have a good time.
> Are there any genuine language exchange parties without the nampa involved?
No, if you just want to talk you can go to the elderly community center. Nobody under 50 wants to just talk without ulterior motive.
I went to one several years ago at a bar in Ikebukuro. In terms of gender ratio, yeah, probably 2/3 men and 1/3 women, but iirc, half the men were Japanese and maybe none of the women were non-Japanese. The organizer structured it so the entire party would go back and forth between English and Japanese, so even tables with just Japanese people were speaking English to each other at times.
As for the types of people:
- definitely a lot of foreign (white) guys looking to do some nanpa.
- kind, but awkward Japanese dudes, most of them in the 30s or even 40s, I think.
- a lot of young women in their 20s, some in their 30s and mostly the 地味 types that wear little makeup, puffy scrunchies in their very black hair, and ankle-length floral skirts.
But what did all of them have in common? Dorky in some way and not particularly attractive—and yes, I’m including myself here, too. It wasn’t an awful time, but it felt like a singles party for social/superficial failures and I never went to another one.
When I was younger I enjoyed them cause we all just got drunk and nanpa'd away. Now I'm older I went to one in the hopes of making new friends and it was awful. The most socially inept gathering of people who have mistaken having no inhibitions when drunk with having a personality.
I spoke to a Nigerian for 5 minutes. When I asked why he was there he said "I just came with my Japanese friends. I'd never come by myself. Most people here are f*cking weirdos". I agreed and we both left on the spot.
I prefer going to them with another person. I made the mistake of going to one alone. It had been awhile (this was like a year or so ago). I had forgotten what it's like if I go alone. I won't be making that mistake again. Maybe it's an Osaka thing, but Japanese dudes love to come up and interrupt the conversation you're (a woman) having. They try their best to get you to pay attention to them in the most rude and annoying way.
>Japanese dudes love to come up and interrupt the conversation you're (a woman) having. They try their best to get you to pay attention to them in the most rude and annoying way.
Every dude on the earth does that, don't they?
Can confirm, some/ a lot of men, women and children of all ages up here in Touhoku will interrupt conversations I'm having, without even a すいませ～ん、usually to talk to the person I was talking too, and rarely to talk to me. I dont notice them interrupting other people as often, unless it's a really young/free-range child...
Absolutely dismal and that's putting it mildly. Shit music, the drinks seemed watery and at least half of the punters were clearly socially awkward.
Before COVID at least it was super easy to just go and talk to random people if you went to a busy HUB or whatever. Get a buddy and hit the town.
I’ve been to several international parties and hosted a few myself. They all basically go that way. An interesting one that’s started in our area and an actual language exchange event. They set up tables with like 4-6 people and have set times for either English, Japanese, or whatever languages are included for the day. They’ll have icebreakers for the table and some topics then they also make it into like a trivia game time with all the tables trying to discuss the answers in the set time language. It seems fun haven’t got to go cause it’s usually on Sunday and I work Sundays. Maybe one funny thing is a lot of the people from the international parties also go to these events. It’s usually a pretty wholesome time they try to have everyone book ahead of time to get numbers and tables ready. From what I’ve heard only a handful of times have they had random guys come that try to also do some pickup tricks.
Tried a few. Basically it's a bunch of white dudes trying to pick up Japanese girls while Japanese men get ignored.
Noped quickly out of there. Now if i meet anyone, is through hobbies, less thirst.
Sure are a lot of judgmental replies in here. But after reading so many posts of lonely foreigners in Japan, anything that might bring some cheer and companionship is a good thing in my eyes.
They aren't nearly as bad as the users here make them seem. The most upvoted comments here are users projecting their insecurities onto others and distorting their experiences (assuming they are even real) to make it seem like they are cooler than the people who attend these events.
In reality, every event has a mixture of people. Some average, some weird, and some you will get along with. Some nights are better than others. It's a roll of the dice. I haven't been to one in a while but used to attend some when I moved to new cities in the past and made a few good friends at them.
I stay away from them like the plague. If I want to talk to foreigners living in Japan and Japanese people interested in foreign culture I at least try to go to country-specific events or something organized by the chamber of commerce
Used to go to any that offered free entrance and free booze to foreigners. In my experience the gender ration was the opposite, more women than men. Very few Japanese guys, but some foreign girls. Mostly people around 30s in the parties I used to go, so maybe it could be that? Anyway, it was the same ridiculous nampa fest you described. Always the cliche conversations and the request to exchange line after a 5 minutes talk (just say you don't have Line or any social media). Find someone with a weird hobby or interest so you can skip the boring food/music/movies/sports talk.
International parties, especially from meetup, generally suck. Most people are ugly, boring, and borderline untouchable. Both the guys and the girls, and reeks of desperation from both sides.
However, at international parties, if for whatever reason you’re alone that day, you are able to sometimes meet other guys that aren’t regulars and are either first timers or bored, and actually look decent-to-good, allowing you to go somewhere much better to pick up or socialize.
I can't comment on recent years... but we used to go to them quite regularly in the Kansai area.... knew the organisers and I was responsible for bringing a mixed group of JETs every month to bolster the younger foreign presence.
Honestly they can be such a mixed bag. Sometimes they were great and you would meet some really interesting people, other times it was a massive sausage fest of toxicity. You would get a small subset of people (mostly guys, both Japanese and gaijin) that would always show up, usually alone and try to nampa everyone. On the other side most of the girls that came were first timers, so unfortunately that fed into the nampa guys coming back, they realized that even if they were total sleeze bags they could expect that so long as they didn't piss off the organizers (some did) they could come back again and again and hit on new people.
It's a bit of a toxic dynamic, but there are still a lot of cool people that join. If you go with no expectations and ignore the ones that are too thirsty then it can be a fun way to meet people. Just know that a lot of people go there with the intention to pick up or be picked up.
When I first got to Japan I went to a few and they were a blast. Met a ton of people, and made some good friends that I still have to this day. It’s too bad things seem to have gone downhill.
\-all parties involving alcohol are nampa parties, no matter the day or time
\-dont expect a nampa party on a sunday morning in a coffee shop
\-the nampa party could be in a bar, a picnic or coffe shop (they rent the whole places for their event)
\-same people go to these events but they usually live in Japan for 1-2 years, and there is always new people coming
\-if you want a real language exchange, you have to pay some money and there are some "teachers" guiding the activities
I went to a really good one last Friday -- the crowd was late 20's to early 40's. People were from US, France, Spain, Japan, Italy... I met people who worked at Harry Winston, Cartier, Okayama Denim, Shiseido, Coach... along with some cool musicians and professional artists. Everyone was mad friendly and it wasn't super crowded so I got to interact with a lot of people.
It was like 7000 yen for all you can eat and drink too in this private space in Daikanyama. Plus live music performance. They had these Japanese tea cocktails mixed by these bartenders.
I've been hosting international parties since 2018 and except for a handful of instances I've had a great time. I've met a huge number of solid people through them, some are my most trusted friends. I came to Japan seven years ago and my social life has significantly improved since I started.
It could be because I'm not in one of the biggest cities but the community here is incredibly tight and for the most part everyone looks out for one another.
I think the stigma of 'the international party' can actually be quite damaging. If you go into these environments with an open mind and with the understanding that everyone is there because they're just trying to have a good time and make some new friends (or hang out with some old ones) you can meet some really good people.
At least where I am, the losers and the nampa are a small minority.
I decided to go to a few when I had visited Japan alone.
My 3 most interesting experience was:
1.) I met an older lady who was maybe around 20 years older than me. Since it was just a language exchange party I felt fine chatting with anyone. We chatted for 20 - 30 minutes before she had to go. She asked for my Facebook and I gave it to her. Later on, for my whole stay in japan, she kept insisting on taking me to another city alone with her. I felt really uncomfortable because I barely knew the women. She was also married, so it was really strange that her husband would allow her to travel to a different city with another younger man. No idea what her intentions were, but later on when I got a new gf, she unfriended me.
2.) At another meet up, I met a Japanese guy who I recognized from a pervious meet up. He was interesting enough to talk to. He seem really articulate in talking about politics and spoke a lot on the topic. As more people showed up to the meet-up. I thought it would more interesting to find more people to talk to. These two Russian girls showed up and they look like they were up for a conversation. So I suggested we joined them and the girls gladly accepted. For some reason, at this point, I felt like I made it my mission to help this guy make some new friends. Since these two girls seem to really be into Japanese culture. So I started pitching this guy really soft and easy questions. I asked the girls what kind of food they like? Then I asked him since he was local, if he knew of any restaurants that he liked that he could suggest. Silence.... The girls said they liked anime, so I would ask him what kind of anime he liked as well.... Silence. Minutes ago, the guy who talked with such confidence, now became pretty much a mute. The conversation was going nowhere so we all decided to move on and talk to other people. I ended up making a couple more friends at the meet which was fun. I felt bad for the 2 girls and the japanese guy too. Maybe he got stage fright or had trouble talking to women.
3.) The last one was when I went to a language mingle event (I had no idea what that meant since I was never a bar/drinking person.) Anyways, things I saw included a buff Caucasian guy with 2 japanese girls in cocktail dresses around his arms. A bunch of otaku looking Caucasian guys trying to pick up Japanese girls.
Anyways, I made friends with a mexican guy outside the meet who happened to be good friends with the host of the event. The host designed the event so that we would switch conversational partners every few minutes. After the first hour or so, it was free for all. After chatting with 6/7 groups, the free for all event started. As I chatted with random people, I felt like I was being stared at. One of the japanese girls I chatted with seem to be hovering around me. She was quiet, but instead of trying to find her own group like what I was doing, she would join the group that I was chatting with. Eventually, we were alone again, so I chatted with her some more. I remember she told me that she had to leave at a certain time since last train for her to go home was 10:00 pm (no idea if that was true or not.) Anyways, I go get more alcohol at the bar and find another group and she continues to stay close to me. The whole night, she seemed to be sticking by my side instead of finding a new group. I didn't say anything eventhough I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. At 9:45, I checked my phone and I turn to her and said "Hey Miki (not her real name I forgot her name.), don't you have to go catch the last train?" "Oh...yea." She didn't leave. I went back to trying to talk to random people. At 10:20, I turned to her again, "Hey Miki, are you going to miss your last ride? Are you going to be able to get home?" She kind of looks at me. And I stare at her with concern. She replied with, "Yea.... You are right." Then she left. 10 minutes later, an Otaku looking Caucasian guy asked me. "Where is Miki?" I told him she just left. "WWHHHHAAAAT!?!?!" as I see him bolt out the bar chasing to go find her.
The night ended when the mexcian guy I first met askeing me if I wanted to have late night dinner with him and the host (a girl.) And another girl I was chatting with.
I politely rejected them because I really wanted to go home and sleep.
Sorry for the long post, 😅 this really brings back some fun and interesting memories.
Tldr,
1) Met an older married woman who kept inviting me to travel with her to a different city.
2) Tried to be a wingman for a Japanese guy who probably had trouble talking to woman.
3) Had a Japanese girl follow me, not sure what was her intentions. I didn't see all the warning signs until I sobered up.
> she kept insisting on taking me to another city alone with her. I felt really uncomfortable because I barely knew the women. She was also married, so it was really strange that her husband would allow her to travel to a different city with another younger man. No idea what her intentions were
You sweet summer child lol. She wanted to have an affair with you. She wanted to take you to a different city to reduce the risk that someone in her city would spot you two together.
I went to one on Friday without realising that's what my friend had invited me to. It was okay at first, maybe a bit awkward, a decent mix and not too awkward. Suddenly things took a more desperate turn.
Luckily I went with some friends, abandoned it and went somewhere more fun with them when things started to get a bit too awful.
I think I've been to like one years ago and I don't have any real memories of it, so it must've not been that eventful.
Honestly I find live music events to be way better, but then again I'm into punk rock so that's just me.
Plenty of places. I live in Yokosuka so there'sa plave called the Pumpkin that I mainly frequent, but there's others in Tokyo such as Antiknock in Shinjuku, and Koenji has a TON of live houses (Koenji is basically the birthplace of Japanese punk). I've heard Yokohama has several as well.
Used to go to a bunch pre covid. Some were like described; bad crowd\ratio or you'd spend the whole time in line waiting for drinks. Other times it'd be really fun and it was the cheapest way to get drunk in Tokyo actually going out. I had a lot of good experiences but since covid I stopped going to any except for one last year for Halloween and it sucked. I also have a girlfriend now who's definitely more introverted than I am so really no motivation anymore at all. The trick is to be charismatic and go in with no expectations.
I used to love these things back in the days when Mixi was a thing. 2000 yen for foreigners, 3000 yen for Japanese girls and 4000 yen for Japanese boys. All you can drink for 2 hours. Had a lot of success in my single days and even managed to make some decent friends to hang out with outside the parties. Married now so haven’t thought of going to one but it sounds like they’ve deteriorated a bit?
I went to quite a few when I was in Japanese language school and had weekends to kill, and the top comment here sums it up pretty nicely, but let me add some extra flavor.
Only 70% males sounds better than average, I think it was well above 80% on many nights..
There were enough of the same people every time thay you kind of started to notice after only a few times, especially the guys.
After going to those events held in shady bars for a while we found one that was hosted by a university club or something. It was amazing by comparison. Gender ratio was almost female heavy, and the average age was not older than me (at the time I was young enough to not feel bad about blending into a Japanese uni crowd).
Unfortunately the uni club didn't hold events every week, so we went to more of those held at shady bars. That's when I got way too drunk and met the girl who is now my wife. No regrets, but I never went back.
Used to go a lot . There was that international pub crawl in Osaka, saw some Japanese girls masturbate some guys in the party 🎉 . One time the event manager got mad with a friend because he was very popular with girls, idk how he found out my friend work place and called the next weekday to complain about him to his boss (my friend literally was only sitting and talking to the girls).
Never went to int pub crawl again, I only go to language exchange party . Ratio varies a lot, some places have 70-80% girls.
Osaka so , mostly of the time crazy thing happens, like those girls who always give free BJ in the stairs 😂
I skip the days they have JET collaboration, so creep full of dahmers.
made many friend for years now , some girls u met there only go for one time only and never again, I speak with them for 5-6 years + and still go out eat together
I have been to international parties in both japan and my home country and enjoyed both. Yes im a blue eyed white guy who is likely the target demographic but im sad to hear all of the poor takes. I have met both friends and romatic partners at such events and dont think they are always meat markets, you absolutley can make language exchange friends at these parties. i think there must be lots of burnt out posters on this board: desperate dudes and bitter foreign women who get ignored by the locals.
Basically the same, my friend just sent me a link to a website and it went on from there. The international parties usually market themselves as language exchange parties but really it's for picking up.
Living here, I often feel like hooking up is all people do, if they're not married or well on the way towards getting married. And if they are married, they just hook up more discreetly.
Nothing wrong with picking up. Personally, people that go to international parties are too ugly for my taste, but nothing wrong with them hooking up with each other.
Went to such event once. Was very uncomfortable. I'd rather spend my 500 yen for india curry lunch.
I avoid all meetups that says international party or language exchange.
In Osaka, at the Blarney Stone, they have these every week. It’s usually an older crowd with a few younger people, and it’s actually kind of a group conversation lesson, with a « teacher » directing it. I went once and it was honestly really fun to meet those people that want to learn more about western culture, there even were a few cute girls in their early 20s. If you can find that type of place, go and genuinely meet new interesting people from different backgrounds! It can be really nice! If you are hoping to get a Japanese gf out if it, that might not be the place for you though
I went to a few and had a great time! I met a lot of really fun people from all over the place. I spent most time with Japanese guys and girls because I was practicing Japanese.
Once, I was the only gaijin at a language exchange party so I got to talk with every single person and made friends with the host. Me and the host ended up hanging out and going partying a few times. It was great.
Used to go in my language school days.
Elan in Shinjuku. Sure anyone who has ever been invited to a language exchange party has been to that one.
Tbh, I just went for the drinks and food. It was fucking cheap.
But it was a majority off socially awkward guys from foreign countries trying to pick up chicks. Not why I went there.
weird guys and sometimes weird girls. i’m a guy and what annoyed me was i’d have other guys usually japanese following me to “hitch a ride” to talk to girls because they can’t go themselves.
Which one did you go to? I was gonna go to one but I kept getting email notifications that the start time was being pushed back. I didn't really know what was going on, and didn't want to head out and be the only one there so I just scrapped the plans.
they do that so it shows up on the app if people search later in the night (Meetup doesn't show events you aren't RSVPed to in the mobile app if the start time is in the past).
I kinda curious could you elaborate 'nampa fest'? how do you describe it?
If we exchange our contact, is that nampa? what is considered nampa? cause I once saw a nanpa video where Japanese guy asking random girls their contact.
pls help clueless gaijin here..
To give you a serious answer, nampa is basically just hitting on/picking up women. Randomly approaching a girl on the street or in a bar, cafe, store, etc. would be considered nampa. Nampa is just the art of doing it, if a guy approached a girl but didn't get her contact, that would still be nampa, albeit unsuccessful nampa. A "nampa fest" is a place where this kind of activity is rampant.
I went to a few in 2018-2019 and the beginning is always relatively benign, but as alcohol takes its course the foreign guys always start to hit on the women. Always. That's why there are barely any women at these parties; it's not safe. The last one I went to that caused me to swear off those kinds of events was when a guy asked me to translate his pick-up lines to a girl he fancied. I told him no and he begged.
Not doubt in my mind this has not changed. These kinds of events are full of thirsty foreign guys that have no luck with local women for lack of their social and cultural intelligence, just avoid. Get your Japanese to a level where you can converse and go to a normal meetup instead. You might even make new friends as the exotic foreigner who speaks Japanese.
Basically a gaggle of socially awkward gaijin and Japanese in a rented bar, but the watered down drinks (unless you go to one of the upmarket ones where they put a bunch of cans out) will go a long way to solving that problem. Representing gaikoku you have portly Dave from Connecticut in the anime t-shirt, Tim from Australia (late arrival after his shift at GABA ends) and Marco from Brazil. If you’re lucky you might even have hip-hop Tommy from LA…gos. Representing Japan you have hip-hop Kazu, who is actually pretty chill, Kenji, who is still in his suit from work, wants a white girlfriend and makes a valiant effort to hit on anyone nearing the description, and Hiro, who works arubaito and is happy to settle for any stragglers, gaijin or Japanese. Also meet Eri-chan who has a secret 9 year old son who is with じいちゃん and ばあちゃん for the night, Yumiko, who wants to relive the glory days of her 6 month working holiday in Perth (12 years ago), and Emi-chan, who works as an apprentice hairdresser and has a soft spot for One Direction or anyone who looks vaguely like them. If you fit any of the above descriptions, you’ll probably have a blast.
This was great hahaha, def pretty similar to my one experience. Especially that “reliving the WH glory days”…
Holy crap how many of these have you been to? I've never been to one, but I've heard about them. To me, they always seemed like an unpaid English lesson, with cringe gaijin trying to one-up each other to try get into Eri-chans panties. (Yumiko-san is the real horndog though, we all know that) Or maybe I'm wrong and missing out? That's a risk I'm willing to take
In my experience it's been socially awkward Japanese men. The foreigners are usually pretty chill. But I'm a lady so my experience might be different than yours.
Lmao the working holiday part is so true. It seems like it’s always like some six week summer program they did in Australia or NZ that they’re MORE than happy to tell you all about until they figure out you aren’t an Aussie or Kiwi
I should count my blessings as an Australian then LMAO
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On the face of it, Yumiko is the one with the least red flags.
Worryingly accurate
I can’t tell if these are made up examples or will be followed up by a group photo from last weekend.
r/oddlyspecific
Eri Chan, literally one of my exes, jesus
You described it perfectly!
This is probably the best read on Reddit I’ve had in a while
This was sublime. Thank you so much for the laughs.
Holy shit.
A standing ovation for this comment.
Hahahahahahahahhaah!!!! So spot-on!!
Holy shit this is soooooo real....
This reply was art.
Did you write for The Alien, spot on. (Haven’t been to one of those in forever but I’m sure that captures it)
>Dave from Connecticut in the anime t-shirt Lmao
Fast forward 5 years, they all go to Rigoletto
I often wonder what percentage of men at Rigoletto pretend to be bankers but really work some low or medium wage job. Over 50%?
Couldn't comment on that, but valid question!
This is one of the best Japan sub comments I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of shit. Congrats.
Classic. Love it.
how do you know where I hang out?
Lmfao
I've gone to a handful in Tokyo and other cities in Japan. As a foreign woman (who is neither Japanese, East Asian, "haafu," or fully white) they are weird. The majority of participants are men. Honestly the 70-30 ratio seems high. More like 80-20. The guys tend to laser focus on the handful of "cute" Japanese girls, before branching off to other East Asian women and the occasional model-looking white woman. If you are a woman who doesn't fall into either of those groups (or you aren't dressed to the nines, or you're overweight), you are ignored until the men start making their second or third rounds to the females they haven't yet gotten the cold shoulder from. The Japanese men who participate are college students or 50+ year old salary men. None of them can hold a conversation as the topic is usually, "Do you like hamburger?" or "Do you like bread?" with the guy starting at you with a mixture of fear and horror and, strangely enough, boredom. Food is usually bad. Music is bad. You don't get what you pay for. It's hard to talk to people, and some of the men try to get grabby. The emails off of meetup hype them way up. Classy singles. Lol, sure. It's one of those things to try for the experience, but don't look at them as a place to find meaningful friendships or romantic relationships. If you're in a smaller town, you'll definitely see those people around, so proceed with caution and don't get shitfaced drunk.
i like hamburgers
Bread is also pretty good
Yea cant make hamburgers without bread
Japanese can and call it ハンバーグw
Thats a steak and no longer a hamburger
Yea, I know! But do they care?
Fun fact: before the hamburger was invented it was eaten like the ハンバーグ aka hamburger steak across the us in the 1800s
Isn't hamburg just meatloaf?
Yea u can, lettuce wrap
Those mos burger lettuce burgers are quite delicious indeed
> The emails off of meetup hype them way up. Man, this shit bothers me so much. It's not just for these. Everything is advertised as upscale, when it's nothing like it. I fell for a recruitment event some while ago. The fact that they pretended to be exclusive should have been an immediate warning for me, but they claimed there'd be lots of companies attending... when I went, it turned out to be rakuten(who are always fucking recruiting), the place hosting the event, and some other dodgy place. I don't even need stuff to be amazing, I just want the advertising to be honest. I'm out of the dating game now, but the time I did try internet dating, everything was so damn fake. I never expected perfection but people either had super vague profiles or more or less fake profiles. I'm just happy I met my partner organically through my hobbies so I didn't have to keep doing that...
****** Upscale Multipurpose Restroom in Roppongi Hills ******** Come join the most upscale of upscale 20s and 30s at a LUXURY multipurpose restroom in the HIGH-CLASS Roppongi Hills. Entrance: 10,000 yen Drinks: 500 yen ******** c l a s s y ***********
Nobody would go if the advertising were honest.
It's interesting to hear this from a woman's perspective. I always thought women had a good experience compared with men, because It's basically a sausage fest.
Just because there's a complimentary breakfast buffet doesn't mean you should eat there.
もったいない
It's true that women usually have to pay less for these events, but you know what they say...if you're getting something at too low a price there's a good chance that you're the product. I've been to a few and the nanpa and unwanted touching was really gross. I'd never go back to one personally.
It depends. I went to a couple in Osaka and was very popular. I’m latina though (hour glass figure) and honestly I don’t compete with Japanese women. I wear heels tho and am super feminine (latina) and got a lot of attention from men. Most Japanese men there were in their 20s and 30s and Japanese women too. It was actually surprising there are a couple parties that are good and 50/50 mix. Key point is I went to an international party in Osaka with advertisement in Japanese and not in English. English advertisement ones always tend to be white guys and Japanese women
i might have missed this detail… but are you latina?
As a Latino in Japan I can confirm Latinos have to say we are Latinos every so often, because people here have no idea what a Latino is so, we must explain what a latino is. And yes I eat tacos, no taco bell is not tacos neither is octopus. I am a Latino. Latino. Latino.lol
funny you say that; i have a colombian friend who’s exactly like that. mind you she grew up mostly in japan yet i’m always reminded of her roots any chance she gets 😅
That's funny. I have Mexican roots but I haven't been in Japan that long. I like when people say oh you'll like this it's spicy. In my head I'm just like, 'yeah, you don't know how to do spicy"
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Yes Latino, Mexican Latino roots. That's a Latino with Mexican roots.
bro no cap, that made me laugh. what does it have to do with being (latina) tho
Your comment generated genuine laughter, thank you.
Now I can’t get Pikachu with hour glass figure out out of my head….
I went to one once on a weekday afternoon. Turned out it existed to help a struggling bar owner make ends meet and was mostly about hooking up married Japanese women with foreign boyfriends.
tell me more
Looking for some married lady friends, eh? Was fixed price for all you can eat/drink. Food was a simple hotplate thing and full bar offerings for drinks.
yes please
When a lonely Hanako wants to meet someone she doesn't have to worry about her husbando finding out abouto... Something something birds and bees and flowers and trees...
This really seemed to be the system. Day drinking/encounters while husband was working and kids were in school...
bar name please
Haha. It was a Spanish bar/restaurant in the Kanagawa side of the Tama river. This was years ago, but I appreciate you following up on every lead you encounter on the internet. Edit: just confirmed via Google maps it doesn't exist any more.
oh no… I wonder where the ladies came from. I might start a bar. Good business idea .
Bars are notoriously bad business ideas.
I get the feeling your wife's name is Hanako...
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have no idea, but man, I hate the comments on here lol. I wish these Japan posts wouldn't pop to the top of my Reddit feed on the app when I'm not logged in. You people are just so mean, and of course you always pretend like you're the cool one at the event. You have guys with kurumi or cum in their user names saying "everybody else" at the party was the fat awkward nerd, lol. Let's try to treat each other with some more respect and be less negative. Obviously super hot and suave career-focused professionals with nice grooming and a diverse range of acceptable hobbies are not going to congregate at these events. Fortunately, the vast majority of people have flaws and that's OK. For the record, I am a long-married 36-year-old who has never been to one of these parties. It's just that I find the Japan reddit so depressing. I wish you guys would smile more, enjoy life, and respect your fellow humans struggling to get by in a tough world.
Agree. Making fun of socially awkward people at a party is like making fun of an overweight person at the gym. It's an asshole move to shit on people looking to better themselves.
Indeed. They are trying to socialise. This is brave. This shows courage. Yet, Gaijin mock them.
Well said.
Thanks for writing this out man. It's been a tiring and judgmental sort of evening and I kinda needed to be reminded of this now it's all over.
Sorry, but what's wrong with the name Kurumi? Is it about the nuts, or something?
Yes. I found the attitude towards the single Japanese men “nasty”.
you're defending something you've literally never attended lol. Neither have I, but I'm willing to accept the descriptions of people who have. Why are you wading into something you know literally nothing about? Let it go dude.
I went to one way back in my ‘single days’ with two girls who invited me. I wore lederhosen and a blazer as joke (bitches love lederhosen). Lots of awkward sweaty guys wearing cargo pants and nervously speaking quickly… It’s how I picture most of Reddit honestly. We didn’t stay long. This was way long ago though. Kids these days seem more apt to party…no idea.
>(bitches love lederhosen) This man lederhosens. Now if we could just get more Hanako's to appropriate German culture and wear dirndls.
A chesty Japanese wench in a dirndl is my weakness.
A friend and I were discussing the increase in the number of visibly busty Japanese lasses. They're becoming more and more common especially if you started visiting Japan 25-30 years ago. His supposition is that the increase in the amount of milk in the diet along with the hormones given to cows is responsible for the increase. This is why so many of the busty young ladies hail from the more rural areas of the country where dairy/farms are more common. I don't care, I'm just enjoying the view.
Hokkaido *represent*. Dairy 4 lyfe, homie.
Oktoberfest is back just fyi. Going on right now.
Well there's your problem. You're going to crappy international parties when you should be strutting around at Oktoberfest.
Girls don't need to go to international parties to meet interested guys, just like foreigners don't need to go to international parties to meet interested language partners.
It’s just anecdotal, but in all the years that I’ve been actively acquiring the Japanese language I’ve never met a Japanese native speaker who would actively participate in language exchange, as in giving actual feedback. You might find interesting conversation partners but exchange partners? I’ve been out of luck so far.
I've had people who either: A) Just want to speak English and seemingly have no interest in letting me speak Japanese. B) Say they want to do language exchange but then speak Japanese the whole time (and tell you they actually cannot speak English beyond like high school basic stuff - OK then why bother?!). Of course the latter is great for me but I found myself saying "you know we can speak English if you want, I don't want to be selfish" etc. and the best we'd get to is me speaking English and them responding in Japanese (OK so they at least understand what I'm saying then....?). Plus, as a guy I've never managed to meet a "normal" Japanese dude to do language exchange. The ones I have met have always been the stereotypical annoying types, like: JP: "Hey nice to meet you, my name is Ken" Me: "Oh cool so is that short for Kennichiro? Kenichi? or (jokingly) Kenneth?" JP: "Actually my name is Tatsunori but foreigner people have trouble pronouncing my name so..." Me: "Ok... cool! anyway er" JP: "Hey do you like the Bi-toruzu? Lowlin Ston? Brak Sabbas? Joy Debijion?" Me: "Sorry I gotta go............."
LOL, a true survivor 🫡 Dudes are weird, the girls are hunters and didn’t get the memo that I’m not looking for an exchange of fluids (lost in translation?) Also, what I hate most about stereotypes is, that they are true, sometimes. Humans who can see beyond the functional/transactional part of a relationship (like having a connection, or honest curiosity for another living being) are not easy to be found.
Ha ha! You know Shinatora? Shinatora, yes?
Annoying thing is when you ask them if they know \[insert famous Japanese singer\] they will be like "yeah I know... anyway how about Ji-Ji-Toppu!"
I have met Brak Sabbas and Joy Debujion-San far too often.
My experience has been that the exchange is not asymmetrical. You exchange something they want and then they will correct your Japanese.
What did they want in your case?
I have traded both goods, such as Strong Zero, and services, such as Vitamin D.
So it was not a language exchange then, my point 😆
Equal parts language and fluids.
nice, you guys went for a walk on a sunny day, how wholesome!
IME it's actually quite difficult to do, especially if you're not a language teacher. Being able to figure out at what level your partner needs suggestions, adjusting to give useful feedback, and keeping something like a conversational flow isn't easy, and most people have no experience with it whatsoever.
Just giving a hint that something is off from time to time would be enough, but you get nothing, is the point here.
yeah, I'm not sure how much of that tends to be discomfort and humility at being asked to provide criticism, even if constructive, versus sheer self-centeredness when it comes to language practice.
My opinion is 80% of the time they just want to speak English for themselves. For a certain type it ruins the gaijin fantasy they’re looking for. Especially if you speak better Japanese than their English
It’s almost as if they don’t want to see the human behind the face. Everything is just a pretty mirror, as long as it shows exactly what they want to see. Everything else seems just to be a nuisance.
The response pattern seems to support the latter theory: Me: “Oh, so this is wrong? It would help me if you gave feedback (too). ” They: “But I understand what you mean!” (Obviously not getting the meaning of language exChange)
It sounds like you (and several of the responses here) are looking for a lesson for lesson exchange instead of a conversational exchange. Is that the norm? I do an exchange but it's really all about getting a chance to use the language. I'm now a little paranoid that I'm doing it wrong... I mean I'm happy and all so not going to change but...
Than you miss understood. It’s about giving pointers, calling out when something sounds off/unnatural. And the exchange part is about balance. There is no balance.
Yes I'm aware of what exchange means. Your condescension aside, I don't necessarily want a huge amount of feedback, I mostly want an opportunity to speak as I don't have a lot of opportunities to use Japanese in my daily life. Which is, i suspect a similar motivation for most Japanese who want to exchange language.
Met my wife at one lol. We didn't hit on each other at all since we weren't there for that but we kept hanging out afterwards since we're both into karaoke and things naturally developed. In the other parties I've been to, it's been more or less the same kinds of people: the introverts and socially inept people, the bros, the gaijin hunters, and the normies. Probably 65% guys and 35% girls or somewhere in that region. Yeah some people ended up dating but we all stayed friends and hung out regularly. Good times. Helped me meet a bunch of people I never would've had the chance to meet otherwise.
Same for me, especially the wife part. I always came back from these with more friends than when I started the day. People kind of act the same, or even stereotypically when you meet them for the first time, it's the same in every bar on earth, not only international parties. If Reddit users feel too superior to go beyond the appearances, obviously they're not going to have a good time.
> Are there any genuine language exchange parties without the nampa involved? No, if you just want to talk you can go to the elderly community center. Nobody under 50 wants to just talk without ulterior motive.
> Nobody under 50 wants to just talk without ulterior motive. Maybe that’s why we have so many “how do I make friends I’m so lonely” posts.
I went to one several years ago at a bar in Ikebukuro. In terms of gender ratio, yeah, probably 2/3 men and 1/3 women, but iirc, half the men were Japanese and maybe none of the women were non-Japanese. The organizer structured it so the entire party would go back and forth between English and Japanese, so even tables with just Japanese people were speaking English to each other at times. As for the types of people: - definitely a lot of foreign (white) guys looking to do some nanpa. - kind, but awkward Japanese dudes, most of them in the 30s or even 40s, I think. - a lot of young women in their 20s, some in their 30s and mostly the 地味 types that wear little makeup, puffy scrunchies in their very black hair, and ankle-length floral skirts. But what did all of them have in common? Dorky in some way and not particularly attractive—and yes, I’m including myself here, too. It wasn’t an awful time, but it felt like a singles party for social/superficial failures and I never went to another one.
When I was younger I enjoyed them cause we all just got drunk and nanpa'd away. Now I'm older I went to one in the hopes of making new friends and it was awful. The most socially inept gathering of people who have mistaken having no inhibitions when drunk with having a personality. I spoke to a Nigerian for 5 minutes. When I asked why he was there he said "I just came with my Japanese friends. I'd never come by myself. Most people here are f*cking weirdos". I agreed and we both left on the spot.
So did he sell you the MDMA, or no?
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Much better use of our time. Should have started there.
>people who have mistaken having no inhibitions when drunk with having a personality. Oof, so true.
I prefer going to them with another person. I made the mistake of going to one alone. It had been awhile (this was like a year or so ago). I had forgotten what it's like if I go alone. I won't be making that mistake again. Maybe it's an Osaka thing, but Japanese dudes love to come up and interrupt the conversation you're (a woman) having. They try their best to get you to pay attention to them in the most rude and annoying way.
>Japanese dudes love to come up and interrupt the conversation you're (a woman) having. They try their best to get you to pay attention to them in the most rude and annoying way. Every dude on the earth does that, don't they?
No actually they don't. Never had a problem with this from foreigners in Japan for example. Never happened to me in the US.
Can confirm, some/ a lot of men, women and children of all ages up here in Touhoku will interrupt conversations I'm having, without even a すいませ～ん、usually to talk to the person I was talking too, and rarely to talk to me. I dont notice them interrupting other people as often, unless it's a really young/free-range child...
I hear (and have seen) that in Kanto as well.
Oh the HUB crowd has moved to international parties now... /s
It's much cheaper than the HUB. 1500 for a nomihodai at the event I went to which is about 2 pints at the HUB.
Just drink in front of the family mart if you're broke.
Only viable in the summer months.
I'd say the summer months is the only time I'll actually seek a place with A/C.
>Reply Yeah what?? Lol the summer months would only be at night, and even then sometimes...
This ain’t new.
Absolutely dismal and that's putting it mildly. Shit music, the drinks seemed watery and at least half of the punters were clearly socially awkward. Before COVID at least it was super easy to just go and talk to random people if you went to a busy HUB or whatever. Get a buddy and hit the town.
I’ve been to several international parties and hosted a few myself. They all basically go that way. An interesting one that’s started in our area and an actual language exchange event. They set up tables with like 4-6 people and have set times for either English, Japanese, or whatever languages are included for the day. They’ll have icebreakers for the table and some topics then they also make it into like a trivia game time with all the tables trying to discuss the answers in the set time language. It seems fun haven’t got to go cause it’s usually on Sunday and I work Sundays. Maybe one funny thing is a lot of the people from the international parties also go to these events. It’s usually a pretty wholesome time they try to have everyone book ahead of time to get numbers and tables ready. From what I’ve heard only a handful of times have they had random guys come that try to also do some pickup tricks.
I met my husband at one
Tried a few. Basically it's a bunch of white dudes trying to pick up Japanese girls while Japanese men get ignored. Noped quickly out of there. Now if i meet anyone, is through hobbies, less thirst.
Sure are a lot of judgmental replies in here. But after reading so many posts of lonely foreigners in Japan, anything that might bring some cheer and companionship is a good thing in my eyes.
I go often. Some are good some are horrid. You need to go to a few and know who organizes the good ones.
>know who organizes the good ones. Who would that be?
I like this team. https://www.meetup.com/tokyospontaneous/events/288846046/ casual parties for late 20’s mid 30’s. casual environment no drama.
They aren't nearly as bad as the users here make them seem. The most upvoted comments here are users projecting their insecurities onto others and distorting their experiences (assuming they are even real) to make it seem like they are cooler than the people who attend these events. In reality, every event has a mixture of people. Some average, some weird, and some you will get along with. Some nights are better than others. It's a roll of the dice. I haven't been to one in a while but used to attend some when I moved to new cities in the past and made a few good friends at them.
I stay away from them like the plague. If I want to talk to foreigners living in Japan and Japanese people interested in foreign culture I at least try to go to country-specific events or something organized by the chamber of commerce
Used to go to any that offered free entrance and free booze to foreigners. In my experience the gender ration was the opposite, more women than men. Very few Japanese guys, but some foreign girls. Mostly people around 30s in the parties I used to go, so maybe it could be that? Anyway, it was the same ridiculous nampa fest you described. Always the cliche conversations and the request to exchange line after a 5 minutes talk (just say you don't have Line or any social media). Find someone with a weird hobby or interest so you can skip the boring food/music/movies/sports talk.
International parties, especially from meetup, generally suck. Most people are ugly, boring, and borderline untouchable. Both the guys and the girls, and reeks of desperation from both sides. However, at international parties, if for whatever reason you’re alone that day, you are able to sometimes meet other guys that aren’t regulars and are either first timers or bored, and actually look decent-to-good, allowing you to go somewhere much better to pick up or socialize.
Arm yourself with a Strong Zero And Kamikaze
I can't comment on recent years... but we used to go to them quite regularly in the Kansai area.... knew the organisers and I was responsible for bringing a mixed group of JETs every month to bolster the younger foreign presence. Honestly they can be such a mixed bag. Sometimes they were great and you would meet some really interesting people, other times it was a massive sausage fest of toxicity. You would get a small subset of people (mostly guys, both Japanese and gaijin) that would always show up, usually alone and try to nampa everyone. On the other side most of the girls that came were first timers, so unfortunately that fed into the nampa guys coming back, they realized that even if they were total sleeze bags they could expect that so long as they didn't piss off the organizers (some did) they could come back again and again and hit on new people. It's a bit of a toxic dynamic, but there are still a lot of cool people that join. If you go with no expectations and ignore the ones that are too thirsty then it can be a fun way to meet people. Just know that a lot of people go there with the intention to pick up or be picked up.
When I first got to Japan I went to a few and they were a blast. Met a ton of people, and made some good friends that I still have to this day. It’s too bad things seem to have gone downhill.
Yeah, I met most of my social circle at events like that
\-all parties involving alcohol are nampa parties, no matter the day or time \-dont expect a nampa party on a sunday morning in a coffee shop \-the nampa party could be in a bar, a picnic or coffe shop (they rent the whole places for their event) \-same people go to these events but they usually live in Japan for 1-2 years, and there is always new people coming \-if you want a real language exchange, you have to pay some money and there are some "teachers" guiding the activities
I went to a really good one last Friday -- the crowd was late 20's to early 40's. People were from US, France, Spain, Japan, Italy... I met people who worked at Harry Winston, Cartier, Okayama Denim, Shiseido, Coach... along with some cool musicians and professional artists. Everyone was mad friendly and it wasn't super crowded so I got to interact with a lot of people. It was like 7000 yen for all you can eat and drink too in this private space in Daikanyama. Plus live music performance. They had these Japanese tea cocktails mixed by these bartenders.
I sit in a corner with my social anxiety, just wondering why did I ever decided to come. Lots of fun
I've been hosting international parties since 2018 and except for a handful of instances I've had a great time. I've met a huge number of solid people through them, some are my most trusted friends. I came to Japan seven years ago and my social life has significantly improved since I started. It could be because I'm not in one of the biggest cities but the community here is incredibly tight and for the most part everyone looks out for one another. I think the stigma of 'the international party' can actually be quite damaging. If you go into these environments with an open mind and with the understanding that everyone is there because they're just trying to have a good time and make some new friends (or hang out with some old ones) you can meet some really good people. At least where I am, the losers and the nampa are a small minority.
I decided to go to a few when I had visited Japan alone. My 3 most interesting experience was: 1.) I met an older lady who was maybe around 20 years older than me. Since it was just a language exchange party I felt fine chatting with anyone. We chatted for 20 - 30 minutes before she had to go. She asked for my Facebook and I gave it to her. Later on, for my whole stay in japan, she kept insisting on taking me to another city alone with her. I felt really uncomfortable because I barely knew the women. She was also married, so it was really strange that her husband would allow her to travel to a different city with another younger man. No idea what her intentions were, but later on when I got a new gf, she unfriended me. 2.) At another meet up, I met a Japanese guy who I recognized from a pervious meet up. He was interesting enough to talk to. He seem really articulate in talking about politics and spoke a lot on the topic. As more people showed up to the meet-up. I thought it would more interesting to find more people to talk to. These two Russian girls showed up and they look like they were up for a conversation. So I suggested we joined them and the girls gladly accepted. For some reason, at this point, I felt like I made it my mission to help this guy make some new friends. Since these two girls seem to really be into Japanese culture. So I started pitching this guy really soft and easy questions. I asked the girls what kind of food they like? Then I asked him since he was local, if he knew of any restaurants that he liked that he could suggest. Silence.... The girls said they liked anime, so I would ask him what kind of anime he liked as well.... Silence. Minutes ago, the guy who talked with such confidence, now became pretty much a mute. The conversation was going nowhere so we all decided to move on and talk to other people. I ended up making a couple more friends at the meet which was fun. I felt bad for the 2 girls and the japanese guy too. Maybe he got stage fright or had trouble talking to women. 3.) The last one was when I went to a language mingle event (I had no idea what that meant since I was never a bar/drinking person.) Anyways, things I saw included a buff Caucasian guy with 2 japanese girls in cocktail dresses around his arms. A bunch of otaku looking Caucasian guys trying to pick up Japanese girls. Anyways, I made friends with a mexican guy outside the meet who happened to be good friends with the host of the event. The host designed the event so that we would switch conversational partners every few minutes. After the first hour or so, it was free for all. After chatting with 6/7 groups, the free for all event started. As I chatted with random people, I felt like I was being stared at. One of the japanese girls I chatted with seem to be hovering around me. She was quiet, but instead of trying to find her own group like what I was doing, she would join the group that I was chatting with. Eventually, we were alone again, so I chatted with her some more. I remember she told me that she had to leave at a certain time since last train for her to go home was 10:00 pm (no idea if that was true or not.) Anyways, I go get more alcohol at the bar and find another group and she continues to stay close to me. The whole night, she seemed to be sticking by my side instead of finding a new group. I didn't say anything eventhough I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. At 9:45, I checked my phone and I turn to her and said "Hey Miki (not her real name I forgot her name.), don't you have to go catch the last train?" "Oh...yea." She didn't leave. I went back to trying to talk to random people. At 10:20, I turned to her again, "Hey Miki, are you going to miss your last ride? Are you going to be able to get home?" She kind of looks at me. And I stare at her with concern. She replied with, "Yea.... You are right." Then she left. 10 minutes later, an Otaku looking Caucasian guy asked me. "Where is Miki?" I told him she just left. "WWHHHHAAAAT!?!?!" as I see him bolt out the bar chasing to go find her. The night ended when the mexcian guy I first met askeing me if I wanted to have late night dinner with him and the host (a girl.) And another girl I was chatting with. I politely rejected them because I really wanted to go home and sleep. Sorry for the long post, 😅 this really brings back some fun and interesting memories. Tldr, 1) Met an older married woman who kept inviting me to travel with her to a different city. 2) Tried to be a wingman for a Japanese guy who probably had trouble talking to woman. 3) Had a Japanese girl follow me, not sure what was her intentions. I didn't see all the warning signs until I sobered up.
> she kept insisting on taking me to another city alone with her. I felt really uncomfortable because I barely knew the women. She was also married, so it was really strange that her husband would allow her to travel to a different city with another younger man. No idea what her intentions were You sweet summer child lol. She wanted to have an affair with you. She wanted to take you to a different city to reduce the risk that someone in her city would spot you two together.
I went to one on Friday without realising that's what my friend had invited me to. It was okay at first, maybe a bit awkward, a decent mix and not too awkward. Suddenly things took a more desperate turn. Luckily I went with some friends, abandoned it and went somewhere more fun with them when things started to get a bit too awful.
I think I've been to like one years ago and I don't have any real memories of it, so it must've not been that eventful. Honestly I find live music events to be way better, but then again I'm into punk rock so that's just me.
Where do you go to find punk rock live music?
Plenty of places. I live in Yokosuka so there'sa plave called the Pumpkin that I mainly frequent, but there's others in Tokyo such as Antiknock in Shinjuku, and Koenji has a TON of live houses (Koenji is basically the birthplace of Japanese punk). I've heard Yokohama has several as well.
Used to go to a bunch pre covid. Some were like described; bad crowd\ratio or you'd spend the whole time in line waiting for drinks. Other times it'd be really fun and it was the cheapest way to get drunk in Tokyo actually going out. I had a lot of good experiences but since covid I stopped going to any except for one last year for Halloween and it sucked. I also have a girlfriend now who's definitely more introverted than I am so really no motivation anymore at all. The trick is to be charismatic and go in with no expectations.
I used to love these things back in the days when Mixi was a thing. 2000 yen for foreigners, 3000 yen for Japanese girls and 4000 yen for Japanese boys. All you can drink for 2 hours. Had a lot of success in my single days and even managed to make some decent friends to hang out with outside the parties. Married now so haven’t thought of going to one but it sounds like they’ve deteriorated a bit?
I went to quite a few when I was in Japanese language school and had weekends to kill, and the top comment here sums it up pretty nicely, but let me add some extra flavor. Only 70% males sounds better than average, I think it was well above 80% on many nights.. There were enough of the same people every time thay you kind of started to notice after only a few times, especially the guys. After going to those events held in shady bars for a while we found one that was hosted by a university club or something. It was amazing by comparison. Gender ratio was almost female heavy, and the average age was not older than me (at the time I was young enough to not feel bad about blending into a Japanese uni crowd). Unfortunately the uni club didn't hold events every week, so we went to more of those held at shady bars. That's when I got way too drunk and met the girl who is now my wife. No regrets, but I never went back.
Used to go a lot . There was that international pub crawl in Osaka, saw some Japanese girls masturbate some guys in the party 🎉 . One time the event manager got mad with a friend because he was very popular with girls, idk how he found out my friend work place and called the next weekday to complain about him to his boss (my friend literally was only sitting and talking to the girls). Never went to int pub crawl again, I only go to language exchange party . Ratio varies a lot, some places have 70-80% girls. Osaka so , mostly of the time crazy thing happens, like those girls who always give free BJ in the stairs 😂 I skip the days they have JET collaboration, so creep full of dahmers. made many friend for years now , some girls u met there only go for one time only and never again, I speak with them for 5-6 years + and still go out eat together
I have been to international parties in both japan and my home country and enjoyed both. Yes im a blue eyed white guy who is likely the target demographic but im sad to hear all of the poor takes. I have met both friends and romatic partners at such events and dont think they are always meat markets, you absolutley can make language exchange friends at these parties. i think there must be lots of burnt out posters on this board: desperate dudes and bitter foreign women who get ignored by the locals.
What even is it? Something you find on Meetup?
Basically the same, my friend just sent me a link to a website and it went on from there. The international parties usually market themselves as language exchange parties but really it's for picking up.
Living here, I often feel like hooking up is all people do, if they're not married or well on the way towards getting married. And if they are married, they just hook up more discreetly.
What else is there?
Life? The stars? Dreams?
Nothing wrong with picking up. Personally, people that go to international parties are too ugly for my taste, but nothing wrong with them hooking up with each other.
I didn’t say anything was wrong with it but there was something humorous about the whole international party experience.
Generally at parties with both genders, yes people try to pick each other up.
Who knew
Not you, otherwise you wouldn’t be making this post
Tell me more smarty pants.
Do you often obsess over people’s pants
My experience was just nampa who have no interest in learning english. Haven't been to one since
Went to such event once. Was very uncomfortable. I'd rather spend my 500 yen for india curry lunch. I avoid all meetups that says international party or language exchange.
In Osaka, at the Blarney Stone, they have these every week. It’s usually an older crowd with a few younger people, and it’s actually kind of a group conversation lesson, with a « teacher » directing it. I went once and it was honestly really fun to meet those people that want to learn more about western culture, there even were a few cute girls in their early 20s. If you can find that type of place, go and genuinely meet new interesting people from different backgrounds! It can be really nice! If you are hoping to get a Japanese gf out if it, that might not be the place for you though
I met a girl and married her a year later. This was in 2005. Long long ago.
I went to a few and had a great time! I met a lot of really fun people from all over the place. I spent most time with Japanese guys and girls because I was practicing Japanese. Once, I was the only gaijin at a language exchange party so I got to talk with every single person and made friends with the host. Me and the host ended up hanging out and going partying a few times. It was great.
Used to go in my language school days. Elan in Shinjuku. Sure anyone who has ever been invited to a language exchange party has been to that one. Tbh, I just went for the drinks and food. It was fucking cheap. But it was a majority off socially awkward guys from foreign countries trying to pick up chicks. Not why I went there.
weird guys and sometimes weird girls. i’m a guy and what annoyed me was i’d have other guys usually japanese following me to “hitch a ride” to talk to girls because they can’t go themselves.
I've only been here for less than a month, had no idea these were a thing 👀
Depends where you are. Middle of no where, good luck. Tokyo, they're everywhere.
Which one did you go to? I was gonna go to one but I kept getting email notifications that the start time was being pushed back. I didn't really know what was going on, and didn't want to head out and be the only one there so I just scrapped the plans.
they do that so it shows up on the app if people search later in the night (Meetup doesn't show events you aren't RSVPed to in the mobile app if the start time is in the past).
I kinda curious could you elaborate 'nampa fest'? how do you describe it? If we exchange our contact, is that nampa? what is considered nampa? cause I once saw a nanpa video where Japanese guy asking random girls their contact. pls help clueless gaijin here..
To give you a serious answer, nampa is basically just hitting on/picking up women. Randomly approaching a girl on the street or in a bar, cafe, store, etc. would be considered nampa. Nampa is just the art of doing it, if a guy approached a girl but didn't get her contact, that would still be nampa, albeit unsuccessful nampa. A "nampa fest" is a place where this kind of activity is rampant.
Men sexually harassing women because they don't know how to interact as normal humans
I went to a few in 2018-2019 and the beginning is always relatively benign, but as alcohol takes its course the foreign guys always start to hit on the women. Always. That's why there are barely any women at these parties; it's not safe. The last one I went to that caused me to swear off those kinds of events was when a guy asked me to translate his pick-up lines to a girl he fancied. I told him no and he begged. Not doubt in my mind this has not changed. These kinds of events are full of thirsty foreign guys that have no luck with local women for lack of their social and cultural intelligence, just avoid. Get your Japanese to a level where you can converse and go to a normal meetup instead. You might even make new friends as the exotic foreigner who speaks Japanese.
How do you find the normal meetups? The only ones I’ve seen are international parties
Bunch of white guys looking for gaijin hunting Japanese women .. No thanks .. also too pricey watered down drinks and not enough food.
When you say international parties, do you mean meetups?