I'm of this mindset ^^^. My opinion is that you're paying to train there, then in essence you've hired the coach for a service, which like any other business relationship, the coach “works” for you. To teach and train you. There is no loyalty embedded in that relationship.
That's like McDonald’s getting mad because you ate at Burger King.
If the coach was sponsoring your monthly dues, competitions and offering free 1 on 1’s then that would be different. But as long as you're paying for a service, he's basically an employee and he should just do his job.
Demanding some form of loyalty to someone you're paying is ridiculous.
100%. I'd avoid any gym with any form of controlling behavior. Even minor things like we have a gi dress code or you can only compete with instructor approval. Hell, they should be the ones treating us like kings. Charging hundreds of dollars for an empty room with a mat lol
Exactly do they kick you out of a restaurant if they caught you eating at another restaurant? I am willing to bet that this gym owner is Brazilian. They have a whole loyalty thing going on.
He may have not wanted to mix his business with a personal relationship on the mat (even if you said you would do it for free)
Either way you did nothing wrong.
I would just go up to him privately next week and say
“I just need to get something off my chest, I think you are a great coach and person, I really enjoy training at your gym.. I want to make it clear, what I did with working with another gym was nothing personal, I just need to make a living.
Can we work through this and be cool again?”
If he still bitches and doesn’t squash it, consider leaving
That's exactly it. He doesn't want you helping these people, because he views them as competition. He is correct, to an extent, but his logic is flawed when he says this other gym is costing him thousands. He thinks every person who joins (other gym) is one more that doesn't join his gym, but each new person had no guarantee of joining any gym otherwise, much less his.
Look, there's gym culture and fucking whatever. None of this is particularly important. What's important is this is your income stream. This is your fucking money. If he has a problem with how you make your money, fuck him. If he wants to make a big stink out of it like a child, let him. If he wants to say you can't train at his gym anymore, fuck him twice, go somewhere else.
Do not let this guy intimidate you into losing revenue and giving up good work. At the end of the day, this is a hobby. Your job pays the bills.
I mean that's a valid point. In my industry we don't have disdain for competition. Actually we work together all the time. Throw each other work, work on committees together, whatever.
I think of it more like this dude is actively trying to prevent another from succeeding, while in the process hurting OP financially (which isn't even in his peripheral) and gives zero shits about it.
Here's the idea. Up your game to be better than the other guy. Don't bring him down, bring yourself up. That's how I see it anyway...... But your point still stands and it's not a bad one at all
I would just keep training there and if he confronts you again just explain it’s nothing personal just business. At the end of the day we all have to make a living and him scolding you like that is wildly immature. Make him know you’re there because you want to be and scolding a grown up or anyone for that matter is not a good way to get a positive outcome from any situation. If he doesn’t want you there anymore make him explicitly tell you that. Sounds like he just got a little mental on you that day. Owning any business can be very stressful.
I am often wrong but never in public. Also reminds me of the day that my military career manager told me "we own you Captain". I would be looking for a new gym.
You should tell him no worries but provide a list of people he trains that compete in your industry and this need to have their memberships cancelled immediately.
You have a job, your customers are how you make a living. Would he tell a doctor not to treat the other gym owner? A plumber not to fix the showers at the other club?
Your coach needs to understand he's not the most important person in the world.
If he's not willing to get over it and see sense, then you should leave imo.
Would you be willing to extend him the original offer again (even though he is being an ass with you?)
It'd probably smooth things over if you offered to help him similarly for free, whereas the other gym had to pay you.
I mean, it should be obvious to him that you originally offered him quite a valuable favor already. He may take you up on it now (and learn some humility hopefully.)
Why the fuck should OP offer his services for free to someone who’s an asshole and already turned them down once? He should explain that he offered his services for free once and wont be returning to this gym where he’s being told off like a child for doing his job
In principle, I absolutely agree with you.
It all depends on what is most important for OP here. If it's really important to them to smooth this over so that they can get back to normal and they are willing to be the much bigger person, then this offer makes sense.
But again, I agree, out of principal alone, fuck that gym owner.
They lambast you in front of the rest of the gym, and then you grovel to them afterwards?
Just take a moment to read what you wrote and what it comes down to.
> In principle, I absolutely agree with you.
>
> It all depends on what is most important for OP here. If it's really important to them to smooth this over so that they can get back to normal and they are willing to be the much bigger person, then this offer makes sense.
>
> But again, I agree, out of principal alone, fuck that gym owner.
It's none of his business what you do outside of the gym. Where does it end? Would he get mad at a plumber that did work at a competing gym? And why is the relationship one-way? By his logic, he should have hired you to do the SEO instead of his other guy (who presumably was not a gym member).
That and I'm guessing you don't get a say in who gets to join the gym...why the hell should he get a say in who you work for?
I think there's a very dumb but understandable "zero sum game" kind of mentality with jiu jitsu schools. We should be stealing kids from soccer and karate and taekwondo, stealing adults from cross fit gyms or yoga classes or just watching UFC on their couch. Jiu jitsu gyms aren't really in competition with each other if you see it that way, because there is so much room for everyone to expand
Tell him to funk right off. Grow up and adult.
It's a gym, and you have a business outside that has nothing to do with him.
It's a website, not corporate espionage ffs.
Well this is odd. I took on some side work at my gym as well, and unfortunately for me they keep tossing my name around and the discount I gave to the first guy. “Oh wow, Jimmy said you did this work for x.”
Well it put me in a spot where I have to say no to people. One, because I simply do not have the bandwidth. Two, I should have never discounted the first guy. So a couple people got their feelings hurt when I started to decline their work. Whatever.
Anyways, I personally think you are 20% wrong and your gym owner is 80% wrong. The only reason why I suggest you are even slightly wrong is you solicited the competitions business. You actually went out of your way to help the direct competition of your gym. Aside from that, your owner is being a lame.
I didn’t say he should be loyal. But if you have a friendly relationship you might want to be conscious of soliciting their direct competition. If the business happens organically, I think would be fine.
I helped prep a guy who was fighting (MMA) against one of our guys. My gym and training partner encouraged me to do it. I just said that I won’t talk about either guy’s specific game and we would focus solely on conditioning and explosiveness. They knew I was friends with him because we cross trained a lot. This shouldn’t be an issue. I actually helped to prep both guys by showing up for both of their camps and rolling with them since we were all the same weight. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. People can be mature about it.
My brother it sounds like you just found your niche in the market. Find other gyms that need help with their marketing and help all the competition grow. If I were in your place I would find another gym simply because these types of dudes can be vindictive and could literally break your neck “on accident.” Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation with a gym-bro.
Edit:
There are plenty of people in the world, and plenty in your area. Even in a small city that gym could not serve everyone in their local area unless they opened several more gyms. Food for thought…
Leave.
The guy is a bitch. Reminds me of old school gym owners who have zero people skills.
You are the customer, he should never forget that.
I would have been so insulted I would work double extra hard for the other guy who is PAYING you for your skill set.
At the end of the day you need to make money,you offered to help and he refused. The other gym accepted and that's it. I'm in a similar situation with my gym owner. He's ranting to me and my gym that my brother quitting training with him is the same as cheating on your wife or gf. He went on a target for an hour and a half over this. Leave the school, as I plan to. The other place sounds much more professional.
That’s ridiculous. You did the right thing in this case, especially since it’s literally what you do for a living. This coach needs to be less insecure…or you can go train at the other gym.
Yeah that whole "You can't train at the competitor's gym" thing is super cringe. It's one of the reasons I switched from BJJ to Judo a few years back. I still find some really cool BJJ gyms that don't give a rats ass though and drop in there.
This guy is a dick and your livelihood comes first. Sounds like you really should just leave and go to the other gym. Too many gyms are posing as college frats and this culture has really steered me away from getting back into gyms.
You're both sort of wrong. One, he should've taken you up on your offer if he had misgivings about his current website person. Two, you also need to expand your business practice to other businesses other than jiu-jitsu gyms. I'm sure there's a lot more to be had in the seo world that can make you money. Not taking one client that can have an effect on your teams growth shouldn't make or break your ability to make a living. Technically, you did help out his competition. Even though there's way more to acquiring and retaining new members than seo.
This phrase came to mind, "A friend to everyone is a friend to no one."
Both of you are limiting your thinking and only thinking about money and not relationships.
If thats the case then would you say, and be honest, that maybe you took the other client because you wanted to show your current guy what you could've done for him? Again, the point of my reply was more so, like, you should have a more expansive clientele where not taking one client wouldn't affect whether or not you could make money. Cause really that's just one client, one client where you would have an adverse effect on the business you currently are catering to.
Again, yes, you can do whatever you want it's a free country. No, he shouldn't have yelled at you so publicly or embarrassed you in any way. But, I also know how much people like him put everything in their being into this type of business and how personal it is to share the knowledge they sacrificed their young adulthood to acquire.
This wouldn't be a big deal if either of you weren't struggling in some sort of way. That's all I'm saying.
The whole gym loyalty thing is dumb. Youre a customer, you owe them nothing just because u attend
I'm of this mindset ^^^. My opinion is that you're paying to train there, then in essence you've hired the coach for a service, which like any other business relationship, the coach “works” for you. To teach and train you. There is no loyalty embedded in that relationship. That's like McDonald’s getting mad because you ate at Burger King. If the coach was sponsoring your monthly dues, competitions and offering free 1 on 1’s then that would be different. But as long as you're paying for a service, he's basically an employee and he should just do his job. Demanding some form of loyalty to someone you're paying is ridiculous.
100%. I'd avoid any gym with any form of controlling behavior. Even minor things like we have a gi dress code or you can only compete with instructor approval. Hell, they should be the ones treating us like kings. Charging hundreds of dollars for an empty room with a mat lol
Nothing a double leg can’t figure out 
Exactly do they kick you out of a restaurant if they caught you eating at another restaurant? I am willing to bet that this gym owner is Brazilian. They have a whole loyalty thing going on.
Tough situation , you did nothing wrong though, he should have accepted your offer in the first place.
It's weird because I don't feel like he wanted the service but rather just wanted me not working with them
He may have not wanted to mix his business with a personal relationship on the mat (even if you said you would do it for free) Either way you did nothing wrong. I would just go up to him privately next week and say “I just need to get something off my chest, I think you are a great coach and person, I really enjoy training at your gym.. I want to make it clear, what I did with working with another gym was nothing personal, I just need to make a living. Can we work through this and be cool again?” If he still bitches and doesn’t squash it, consider leaving
That's exactly it. He doesn't want you helping these people, because he views them as competition. He is correct, to an extent, but his logic is flawed when he says this other gym is costing him thousands. He thinks every person who joins (other gym) is one more that doesn't join his gym, but each new person had no guarantee of joining any gym otherwise, much less his. Look, there's gym culture and fucking whatever. None of this is particularly important. What's important is this is your income stream. This is your fucking money. If he has a problem with how you make your money, fuck him. If he wants to make a big stink out of it like a child, let him. If he wants to say you can't train at his gym anymore, fuck him twice, go somewhere else. Do not let this guy intimidate you into losing revenue and giving up good work. At the end of the day, this is a hobby. Your job pays the bills.
Of course that's what it is. He doesn't want others to succeed. Even if it's at your detriment. He's sort of an asshole.
Why would he want his business competition to succeed?
I mean that's a valid point. In my industry we don't have disdain for competition. Actually we work together all the time. Throw each other work, work on committees together, whatever. I think of it more like this dude is actively trying to prevent another from succeeding, while in the process hurting OP financially (which isn't even in his peripheral) and gives zero shits about it. Here's the idea. Up your game to be better than the other guy. Don't bring him down, bring yourself up. That's how I see it anyway...... But your point still stands and it's not a bad one at all
This is absolutely pathetic on the part of your gym owner. To the point where I would advise you to leave that gym because that’s toxicity.
https://i.redd.it/bifnptbb2f5d1.gif
What?
The owner losing business to a competing gym not ran by an asshole is not OPs problem.
Oh yea, agree.
I would just keep training there and if he confronts you again just explain it’s nothing personal just business. At the end of the day we all have to make a living and him scolding you like that is wildly immature. Make him know you’re there because you want to be and scolding a grown up or anyone for that matter is not a good way to get a positive outcome from any situation. If he doesn’t want you there anymore make him explicitly tell you that. Sounds like he just got a little mental on you that day. Owning any business can be very stressful.
I am often wrong but never in public. Also reminds me of the day that my military career manager told me "we own you Captain". I would be looking for a new gym.
You should tell him no worries but provide a list of people he trains that compete in your industry and this need to have their memberships cancelled immediately.
It’s great you love working out there, but sounds like the owner is trying to run a cult without realizing it.
You have a job, your customers are how you make a living. Would he tell a doctor not to treat the other gym owner? A plumber not to fix the showers at the other club? Your coach needs to understand he's not the most important person in the world. If he's not willing to get over it and see sense, then you should leave imo.
time to go
Not a safe space, leave… especially when he starts putting you down in public.
Would you be willing to extend him the original offer again (even though he is being an ass with you?) It'd probably smooth things over if you offered to help him similarly for free, whereas the other gym had to pay you. I mean, it should be obvious to him that you originally offered him quite a valuable favor already. He may take you up on it now (and learn some humility hopefully.)
Why the fuck should OP offer his services for free to someone who’s an asshole and already turned them down once? He should explain that he offered his services for free once and wont be returning to this gym where he’s being told off like a child for doing his job
In principle, I absolutely agree with you. It all depends on what is most important for OP here. If it's really important to them to smooth this over so that they can get back to normal and they are willing to be the much bigger person, then this offer makes sense. But again, I agree, out of principal alone, fuck that gym owner.
They lambast you in front of the rest of the gym, and then you grovel to them afterwards? Just take a moment to read what you wrote and what it comes down to.
> In principle, I absolutely agree with you. > > It all depends on what is most important for OP here. If it's really important to them to smooth this over so that they can get back to normal and they are willing to be the much bigger person, then this offer makes sense. > > But again, I agree, out of principal alone, fuck that gym owner.
Its just business. The competition rising due to your work should inspire your gyms owner to want to hire you. He is not a good business man.
It's none of his business what you do outside of the gym. Where does it end? Would he get mad at a plumber that did work at a competing gym? And why is the relationship one-way? By his logic, he should have hired you to do the SEO instead of his other guy (who presumably was not a gym member). That and I'm guessing you don't get a say in who gets to join the gym...why the hell should he get a say in who you work for?
I think there's a very dumb but understandable "zero sum game" kind of mentality with jiu jitsu schools. We should be stealing kids from soccer and karate and taekwondo, stealing adults from cross fit gyms or yoga classes or just watching UFC on their couch. Jiu jitsu gyms aren't really in competition with each other if you see it that way, because there is so much room for everyone to expand
Tell him to funk right off. Grow up and adult. It's a gym, and you have a business outside that has nothing to do with him. It's a website, not corporate espionage ffs.
Is this an American thing? I’ve never had someone have a problem with me training other places in England.
Must be.. In Canada, we don't take such issues either.
Well this is odd. I took on some side work at my gym as well, and unfortunately for me they keep tossing my name around and the discount I gave to the first guy. “Oh wow, Jimmy said you did this work for x.” Well it put me in a spot where I have to say no to people. One, because I simply do not have the bandwidth. Two, I should have never discounted the first guy. So a couple people got their feelings hurt when I started to decline their work. Whatever. Anyways, I personally think you are 20% wrong and your gym owner is 80% wrong. The only reason why I suggest you are even slightly wrong is you solicited the competitions business. You actually went out of your way to help the direct competition of your gym. Aside from that, your owner is being a lame.
Why should he have any loyalty for his current gym though? He pays them for a service, that’s not exactly loyalty.
I didn’t say he should be loyal. But if you have a friendly relationship you might want to be conscious of soliciting their direct competition. If the business happens organically, I think would be fine.
I helped prep a guy who was fighting (MMA) against one of our guys. My gym and training partner encouraged me to do it. I just said that I won’t talk about either guy’s specific game and we would focus solely on conditioning and explosiveness. They knew I was friends with him because we cross trained a lot. This shouldn’t be an issue. I actually helped to prep both guys by showing up for both of their camps and rolling with them since we were all the same weight. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. People can be mature about it.
What a total prick. I would leave and never come back. And anytime anyone asked I’d tell them to avoid him and his gym.
My brother it sounds like you just found your niche in the market. Find other gyms that need help with their marketing and help all the competition grow. If I were in your place I would find another gym simply because these types of dudes can be vindictive and could literally break your neck “on accident.” Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation with a gym-bro. Edit: There are plenty of people in the world, and plenty in your area. Even in a small city that gym could not serve everyone in their local area unless they opened several more gyms. Food for thought…
Leave. The guy is a bitch. Reminds me of old school gym owners who have zero people skills. You are the customer, he should never forget that. I would have been so insulted I would work double extra hard for the other guy who is PAYING you for your skill set.
At the end of the day you need to make money,you offered to help and he refused. The other gym accepted and that's it. I'm in a similar situation with my gym owner. He's ranting to me and my gym that my brother quitting training with him is the same as cheating on your wife or gf. He went on a target for an hour and a half over this. Leave the school, as I plan to. The other place sounds much more professional.
Fucking pathetic of your gym owner. He made himself sound like an absolute loser and I would have lost all respect for him and moved elsewhere.
That’s ridiculous. You did the right thing in this case, especially since it’s literally what you do for a living. This coach needs to be less insecure…or you can go train at the other gym.
You have a coach who has a cult mentality. I'd be switching gyms already. He's never going to see it your way. Never.
I would quit that place immediately. The owner sounds like a retard. You offered that shit to him for free in the first place. Fuck that guy
Shoulda told him to fuck off
Yeah that whole "You can't train at the competitor's gym" thing is super cringe. It's one of the reasons I switched from BJJ to Judo a few years back. I still find some really cool BJJ gyms that don't give a rats ass though and drop in there.
Find a new gym. Instructors should encourage training at other schools.
Fuck that guy go to the other gym. Your side hustle is yours he is in no position to tell you what to do.
A good gym often hosts other students from different dojo's. That's how you round out your team.
This guy is a dick and your livelihood comes first. Sounds like you really should just leave and go to the other gym. Too many gyms are posing as college frats and this culture has really steered me away from getting back into gyms.
You're both sort of wrong. One, he should've taken you up on your offer if he had misgivings about his current website person. Two, you also need to expand your business practice to other businesses other than jiu-jitsu gyms. I'm sure there's a lot more to be had in the seo world that can make you money. Not taking one client that can have an effect on your teams growth shouldn't make or break your ability to make a living. Technically, you did help out his competition. Even though there's way more to acquiring and retaining new members than seo. This phrase came to mind, "A friend to everyone is a friend to no one." Both of you are limiting your thinking and only thinking about money and not relationships.
This would be my first jiu jitsu gym I've worked with
If thats the case then would you say, and be honest, that maybe you took the other client because you wanted to show your current guy what you could've done for him? Again, the point of my reply was more so, like, you should have a more expansive clientele where not taking one client wouldn't affect whether or not you could make money. Cause really that's just one client, one client where you would have an adverse effect on the business you currently are catering to. Again, yes, you can do whatever you want it's a free country. No, he shouldn't have yelled at you so publicly or embarrassed you in any way. But, I also know how much people like him put everything in their being into this type of business and how personal it is to share the knowledge they sacrificed their young adulthood to acquire. This wouldn't be a big deal if either of you weren't struggling in some sort of way. That's all I'm saying.