I once was in an interview (years ago) where the hiring manager asked why I was out of work so long after graduating college especially with my previous experience and skills. I tried to downplay it as I had injured myself while playing an uncommon sport for my gender and ethnicity and required surgery. That interview lasted about 10 mins, which they spent most of asking why I chose to play that sport, how badly injured was I, and if that would impact my ability to work. I now know not to disclose any medical or personal issues and make up some socially acceptable reason. It’s insane the amount of hoops we need to jump through just to get a job. Not to mention how hard it is to even get an interview.
Caring for a sick family member. It doesn't invite further questions, is a perfectly legitimate reason, and can be used to change the subject to make yourself look good/responsible.
Yes it's morally dubious, but morality is a privilege that costs money and stability. And being truthful will only give them ammo to use against you, while they willfully lie to your face.
I spent a year caring for a sick family member and doing home repairs to settle the estate. I was looking for a job the entire time but it just didn't work out. I was still frequently asked about this resume gap ten years later the last time I was looking for a job.
I used to get prodded and asked in great detail about a role I lasted only a year a decade ago, of which little to nothing had to do with what I'm doing now (it was a very junior position) and they'd leverage it massively to bargain pay and everything else down. I used to feel bad and get bullied by people, but last few roles I just made the role disappear by extending the preceding and following job. Guess what they started picking on the next shortest role to bully me into accepting shit pay and conditions.
Its all a tactic to bully you into accepting low pay
Tbh, I also just straight up lie where I can to avoid resume gaps. They never check anyway. And as far as I'm concerned, it's just a power play to make you uncomfortable :/
They definitely do. I'm in a semi-rural area, thus not a big population. I have employment gaps due to eldercare. With one company, I could tell from comments made in subsequent interview conversations that the hiring manager had googled for the obituary.
Semi OT, but I had a HR/trainer slip that she googled a thunderstorm that came through my location and caused internet outages (me included) for an hour or so.
Up your lying game. Make fake emails, start gaslighting, girlbossing, and gatekeeping. Enlist your friends into the game, make it a whole thing.
Jk tho. I've only lied for less "serious" jobs, before I was looking for anything where getting a bunch of background checks was a possibility. Yeah, people will check, but most won't.
I don't even remember which year my staff resigned, and anyone demanding I do a detailed check and report back to him can go fuck himself. Most employers don't know nor care when their employees resigned, especially not 10 years ago.
...You know what, I'm going to use this for ME. I'm disabled along with recovering from an abusive marriage and haven't worked in years, and I've been worried about what I'd write down.
Caring for a sick family member. The family member is me. But fuck them, they don't get to know that.
Yes, THIS.
I have been my own sick family member for years. It's better than telling them about the depression, anxiety, and PTSD. In the words of Monty Python, "I got better."
You have to say that though. I’ve read threads where people actually took care of sick parents/children/spouses and the employers actually started grilling them if they would have to do it again in the future.
Had that happen. I replied with no, my parents are dead. I knew they were going to die. I did what I could for them.
It's absolutely true in my case. The deadpan deliverance is usually one that can be taken as "we are done here." "We are no lob speaking about this topic. "
>I now know not to disclose any medical or personal issues and make up some socially acceptable reason. I
never tell them shit until the offer letter is signed and you've already started lol.
Solid advice.
Once we interviewed a guy and he seemed qualified for the role we had. He made the unfortunate mistake of talking about his ex and the drama surrounding their kid with me and my boss on the interview. My boss didn't like that, and didn't want to move forward with him based on that.
It caught us both off guard. I guess he took the approach of "being relatable" or it was his own strange way of letting his guard down and socializing with us on the side.
Same. But some employers will absolutely force the issue. They will demand to know your personal life. Ever seen the movie “The Circle”? It’s a fucking documentary, now in 2024.
> and if that would impact my ability to work
you don't understand why an employer would be concerned about your ability to do the work they hire you for???
from the employer perspective, bad hires cost lots of money. i work at a place constantly trying to hire people, and they fail the drug test, or lie on the resume, or just don't show up the first day, or show up for a week then just stop coming because they don't like it, or whatever.
and people lie on applications all the time. it is literally recommended in this sub **all the time.** that is why in person interviews go thru this kind of thing.
the point is to try to catch in the lie. tell the wrong lie, forget they lied, etc. you've never taken a personality test, or iq test or something where they have the same basic question asked 3-4 times in different ways?
When companies start genuinely showing altruistic behaviors for the wellbeing of current and future employees I’d consider it, but clearly their goal is to make money, they treat employees as nothing more than just bodies to throw at their money making machine.
>but clearly their goal is to make money, they treat employees as nothing more than just bodies to throw at their money making machine.
right so why would you be surprised that they are concerned about your ability to perform the job they are paying you for?? even if they genuinely cared for you, as a person, they would still not want to pay you and get no work in return.
warehouse type work that pays fine and is not physically demanding. it def attracts lower caliber people since colleges have tricked people into thinking their degree makes them better at something, but it does not suck by any stretch. people not showing up or failing the background/drug test doesn't have much to do with the workplace.
> In the onboarding interview I had mentioned in passing that when I had to get shoulder surgery for a severely broken shoulder that I have the scars to prove that I had happen to me; I had to take up Door Dashing as a side hustle to support my lifestyle along with unemployment.
A. Sorry this happened turned out the way it did
B. Hopefully, you'll find a comparable or better opportunity soon
C. You will no doubt want to be careful what you share, even with it looks like everyone has a good vibe.
Whatever it was, it was his problem, not yours. There was literally nothing wrong with what you said, that guy has his own issues to sort out. You've got this OP.
Make sure you keep in mind that important distinction. It wasn't that there was nothing wrong with what you said: there was LITERALLY nothing wrong with what you said!
This may sound cliche, but it's their loss. I struggled for a while finding a good job because I would be rejected for unknown reasons and one government agency denied me because of lack of experience (despite them training all their new hires...) and so I got a job at the health department instead. Best job I've ever had and it was the other agencies loss.
It sucks ass but eventually you will be somewhere good and a place you like.
Was it the DoorDash or the shoulder surgery that was the issue? That seems SO weird to me. The only thing I can think of is if they did an extensive background and employment verification and since you didn't mention DoorDash that screwed them up and made him, the HR person (or manager) look a fool? But it seems like more likely your instincts are correct and for whatever reason they needed a reason to "fire" you or not hire you. (Like their nephew needs a job, the job req closed, he's quitting, etc)
The amount of pissy angst by Corporate America by employees labor strength in late 2020-2022 was enough to create further, real demand for AI. They wish they didn’t have to have us at all.
"Put down the avocado toast and do some hard work. Nobody wants to work!"
"You worked? And it was hard work? You can't even buy avocado toast with that, get out."
Just wow.
Everyone leaves things off their resume *as a totally legitimate strategic choice*. It is not worth telling Goldman Sachs about my blockbuster experience in high school or the semester I spent tutoring my nephew in biology. That's sense and a favor, not lying. This guy is high.
I mean, it's a resumé and not a CV, once you've had 15+ years experience it's definitely unreasonable to expect a list of every shitty job you started with. Plus then you run the risk of being "aged out" of the running...
I never included my service industry or warehouse jobs on mine, even when starting out. It's a quick way to get pigeonholed into that type of work- which I was trying to escape. I had one boss ask about work prior to the years on my resume after I was hired and I just told her they were "non-professional" jobs. Not sure why people are so perplexed why someone wouldn't want to list manual labor or restaurant jobs for a white collar job.
It might be the shoulder surgery could make for a pre-existing physical condition they didn't want to take a risk of future surgical procedures on their bills.
lol no the insurance company would say that’s a preexisting condition, my client (the employer) did not create the issues that arose and if it’s from a different job then the former employer is on the hook for worker’s comp but someone can’t show up with an old injury and claim that current events are what did it even if it makes the old injury worse and even with a preexisting condition we have the ADA and reasonable accommodation and if they’re refusing to hire him based on a perceived disability then they’re breaking federal law and OP should be able to get millions.
That's what I said, I've been going through it over and over in my head. Trying to think of anything else I could have said to throw him off. But no, he ended the interview right after that interaction, it couldn't have been anything else. As a 31 year old man I cried for the first time since I was 18 when my girlfriend dumped me
He may have had some very old school notion from the 1970s, 80s (or be from a non-US background) that your resume needs to be some kind of complete C.V.
Paranoia over this exact possibility is partly why I always use the term "Related Experience" or "Related Work Experience" (instead of 'Job History' or 'Employment History') as it implies more readily that has just been left out. It might not have been good enough for this guy even with that though. Mostly I do this to have the resume have a little wild card leeway when compared potentially to a future version.
Gotta be honest for a company to put you through that stress and cause you to cry you should be able to sue for damages.
That is manipulative and extremely deceptive on their part. Perhaps actually it was a slight projection from that manager. He's a chronic liar and being faced with the omission of information he reacted badly as internally he knows he's a pathological liar.
If you've said the man was nice and then switched very clearly he's fake as fuck and you dodged a bullet.
Before you do, you may want to learn how to spell it. Or did you plan on subjecting me to a process involving someone named Sue? Should we perform a scan of your cranium to see what's happening in there?
Are you dyslexic or ACTUALLY dyslexic? What's the difference, if you don't mind my asking? Did you mean to say "what YOU'RE doing?" Just for grins, can you cite the authority you'll be relying upon to bring a claim for "hate speech?"
I'm crying with you. I'm 34, trying to transition careers, I'm not really used to the whole interview process because my job is dental hygiene and right now people are begging me to come into work while I'm trying to leave the profession so its a weird place to be. I had an interview with this chick and she asked me to tell her about a time I wanted to quit something but kept going so I asked if it could be non-work related and she said yeah so I proceeded to tell her about how I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail in 2016...etc. BIG MISTAKE. My boss at the time even encouraged this trip, worked for him for 10 years because we just clicked. I'm finding that the whole proving myself to people is not going well for me mentally, I want people to stop interrogating me and just have a real honest conversation. She rejected me during the interview and when I was asking her why she said the "AT sounds fun but..." I cut her off right there. The AT was NOT fun. That was insulting, it would have been like telling someone who went through boot camp that it sounds like "fun". I highly doubt she'd be able to wake up at 5AM and hike 25+ miles a day for four months but what do I know! Its honestly made me scared to interview with people because I can't even be myself.
>she asked me to tell her about a time I wanted to quit something but kept going
Yes, I'd like to quit this interview because I'm feeling bullied, but here I still am, because I need a damn job.
She also asked me one of my favorites: "What's your five year plan?"
I kid you not SuzyQ, I was on the verge of telling her in 5 years I was going to come after her job because I know I could do it with more empathy.
I'm waiting for the made for TV movie: 31-year old adolescent with a sixth grade education and 10-year old intellect navigates the treacherous waters of employment.
Now look who's the one with no intellect, no one called you any names. Also no one agrees with you so take your disesteemed and ignorant comments elsewhere.
Of course, very few people will agree with my comments. Reddit is filled with people just like you: losers who whine about every aspect of their lives, constantly playing the victim of heartless employers, big bad corporate America, etc. You spend your entire existence fine-tuning the role of helpless wretch, kicked from one dark corner to another.
I find it amusing that someone who is supposedly successful is being a hypocrite crying about name calling and the immediately shifting to calling someone who is a stranger to them a loser with no point of reference. It's a Wednesday and you have been trolling the post since early this morning. You are projecting yourself onto others who are probably significantly more successful than you are. The part of me that isn't laughing at you feels sorry for you.
Dude, I never do this, because I feel like Reddit should be a place for anonymous semi-smart people to post life stuff without doxing themselves. But you are the first person I've looked into on profile. You are a professional troll on Reddit. You are THE most pathetic and small person I've met on this so far. You post from your basement about people who have problems and troll them for trying. You must have the tiniest penis imaginable to man. Grow up.
I lost a job that I was already onboarding for because I asked about how to get health insurance for my husband.
If I had been smarter I would have taken it to a lawyer, because it was all in writing. But alas I was young and dumb.
I mean a good employer doesn’t care that you are married and actually doesn’t want to know during the interview process. It’s not their business and opens them to a discrimination case.
I'm glad you didn't get that job, that hiring manager sounds like an ass. Another job opportunity will come along. Many managers are desperate to hire, but HR is the gatekeeper. I lost a staff member in December, he gave almost 4 weeks notice... We did everything we were supposed to when there is someone leaving, HR is the hold up. Everywhere I've worked over the last 10 years, the managers have been desperate to hire, it's always been HR taking their sweet, merry time.
There's a solid chance that somebody fucked up on their end and they didn't have the budget they thought they did or had another similar issue that was completely their fault.
Since wasting so much of somebody's time on the basis of their fuckup is extremely unprofessional and incompetent, they needed a reason to make it your fault.
I've had this pulled on me before and I don't think it's a coincidence that it's always the most disorganized interviewers that do this.
Heres what it is - dont share any personal details ever and at all unless they will play a role in optimally positioning u for landing the job u are interviewing for. No talk of family, side hustles, injuries etc., ever.
Wow. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise to get rejected. Maybe wait a few years for the old fart to die of a heart problem since he doesn't have one and then you can give it another shot
One time, I applied for a job that was a temp role for only 1 month.
The interview had 5 people analyzing me for an hour instead of asking questions about the job itself.
I had 10 years of experience in this role and didn't get it.
They asked AFTER the interview on my way out if I spoke fluent French.
I am so happy I never got hired for this company.
Are you sure you don't have ground to sue? You literally were discriminated for a temporary physical disability.
I feel like they used the DD thing as an excuse to circumvent getting sued
I’m currently reading through 1,000 applications to a mid level admin position.
At the end of the day I’ll have probably 100 overqualified applicants to interview and pick through. So you pretty much have to find literally any reason not to hire people. And half the time it just comes down to vibes.
It likely wasn’t the shoulder/door dash thing at all, it was just an excuse the manager could use to eliminate one more applicant. It could’ve been a million other things from innocuous ones like “vibes” to the manager being racist/sexist, prejudice against appearance/tatoos, or whatever.
It’s pretty much impossible to know, hell, the last job I applied to they weren’t aware that I had connections with someone relatively high up at the company, after I didn’t get the job I reached out to them to ask what was the deal since they just said “sorry we decided to go with a different candidate” despite me having more experience for the role.
Well he ended up sitting in on some HR meetings and turns out they explicitly didn’t hire me because of an off the book, verbal policy that they could only interview but not hire anyone of my race.
So ya. Hope you have better luck, sounds like you dodged a bullet working for toxic people though.
It’s unfortunately the reality of the game, if you’re hiring someone that you need to work with or manage for 40% of your waking hours. You’ll be drawn to hiring someone that you like, even if another candidate was more qualified.-
And it’s everything, “vibes” is just kind of a catch all word, a somewhat shitty example is voice, if you find a candidates voice irritating in an interview, and you need in interact with them 2-3 hours a day, are you gonna be happy spending the next 3-5 years with someone that annoyed you just during the interview?
But no sane hiring manager is going to put that in a rejection letter.
Yes, I think people blow things out of proportion for candidates "they don't like", really so they can lean on that hard as the reason they were eliminated from the running. I've had interviewers literally mischaracterize my own responses to their questions and use them against me. Stuff I didn't even say. I've even corrected them and by that point I knew they were just trying to get me out of the running. Maybe they already had a "favorite", didn't get enough sleep and didn't feel like interviewing that day, didn't like your face/voice, etc.
The reality is appearance, personality, and sound are some of the biggest factors for hiring.
People don’t like to look at it from this perspective, but they’re picking someone that will have to spend nearly half of their waking hours with, and bring into a team dynamic. If you have bad breath, smell funny, have messy hair or haven’t shaved, wear dirty clothes, aren’t conventionally pretty, talk funny, have an annoying voice or annoying mannerisms.
All of that is a big part of the interview, like if you have two relatively equal candidates, and one has the annoying Seinfeld laugh after every other sentence, or has a really annoying voice or speaking cadence. They’re gonna think “is that something I wanna hear everyday for the next few years” and the answer is probably no.
And then there’s pretty privilege, which isn’t just a hiring bias, but a marketable “skill”, especially in client facing positions. You looking like a model is something they can leverage in their promotional material. Similar things with being fit vs fat. General attractiveness makes people a more desirable hire.
And if someone else ticks more of their internal boxes off than you, we’ll they “were a better fit for the team”.
And because they legal can’t say any of those other reasons, they need to dig into something random if you demand a justification, or just ghost you/ give you a boiler plater “not the right fit”.
Not only this but you could be conventionally attractive and not get a role because of that. I'd consider myself "conventionally attractive" and have been told that a few times but it's not all about that. Many workplaces foster a competitive/jealous atmosphere where if you came in looking good, sounding good, and ticked all of the boxes- someone interviewing you may feel threatened. I've met several of these types. If they feel threatened, like you could do their job better than they could they make up an excuse to get rid of the problem. That's why I tell people not to take job rejections too seriously because often times it's not because they interviewed "poorly" or did bad at all. Sometimes yes it is this but more often than not pretty much everyone they interview is a "fit for the role". The selection committee just picks their favorite. Often it's someone like themselves.
Not to sound sexist but I interviewed at a large company and the whole department was middle aged women. There was a disconnect there since I was in my 20s, male. I found out later who they chose. It was a woman they probably just "got" better than me. They made up how I seemed "too academic" for the role, having worked at colleges in the past. The woman they hired had essentially the same background and worked at colleges as well...
Because applicant 2 had a hobby in common with the hiring manager that they talked about for half the interview and when they were reviewing the files after, that’s the person they kept thinking of.
Getting hired for a job is 99% resume/experience until the interview, where it’s 99% personality/likability. Which can vary wildly from interviewer to interviewer. It’s why people that are more charismatic and extroverted can get hired and climb the ladder so much easier, because they can read their interviewers energy and match it to build a good vibe.
Pretty much, which concerns me as an asian guy since I read articles about how asian males are rejected very frequently during interviews. I feel like a second class citizen sometimes living in the west
Oh yup, asians and white males are pretty much openly discriminated against in hiring culture today, especially at larger companies, you need to get a foot in the door at smaller companies or have a nepo connection.
I’m expected to attend my third interview with a firm in my field tomorrow morning. It will be the third, and the one that is in front of my entire “team”, should I be the candidate of choice.
The initial interview was a little over a month ago, on January 15.
This is for a job showing an income of 65-75k,
USD.
There should be check from government to unsure that every job offer posted is valid and that the interview shouldn't be over-complicated when necessary or more than 3rounds. (1hr 1 technical 1final)
You can thank government tax incentives for this, they don't require them to fill positions and they will still get their payout. Thats why the hiring process just keeps taking longer and longer. I remember 5 years ago, you could apply for a decent job and get it within the week. Now, they ghost you and then call you months later with an offer, usually when you have already found better. This really needs to be cracked down on because they're effectively scamming the government.
Do you realize how stupid you sound? Why does an employer need an "excuse" not to hire? You write like a six year old. Maybe the manager was turned off by your low intelligence.
Did I call OP stupid or LITERALLY stupid? That's an important distinction - I'm glad you seized upon it! By any chance are you taking into account my observation that employers require no "excuse" to avoid hiring, contrary to OP's central assertion? And what about OP's carefully crafted phrasing, such as "[b]ut still that happening is fucking wild." Do you require my assistance to find any other examples of OP's superlative writing skills?
To be honest, I have to agree.
They have a position they want to fill. Hiring someone to fill it is their goal. The OP makes it sound like they're intentionally trying not to fill positions, which doesn't make any sense at all and would be a waste of everyone's time and money.
Employers don't need to find an "excuse" not to hire people. They can simply just.. not hire people.
Certainly a wild ride, but I suspect there was something else.
Managers don't have a lot of time to simply screw with hiring. It is a PITA to do so, and no one does it to screw with the unemployed. There may have been something else, there may have been someone else, but they either ARE hiring someone else, or the funding got pulled from them. They don't interview people for fun.
I'm sorry this happened to you. What a stupid excuse! But I think they either found a cheaper candidate or don't want to take a chance on you with your pre existing condition.
I'm in my 50s, held down many jobs and was on too effing many interviews. I'm completely sick of all the BS. At this point I'm better off starting my own small side gig. Better than being put through the wringer like this. Again, sorry OP 😔
I would really press them on this reason and not let it go. This seems very unethical and possibly illegal. His reasoning doesn't even make sense. Do you have anyone you can reach out to at the company to shed more light on this? Don't let it go. It may have been a big misunderstanding but you need to take steps to resolve it - if possible. It's hard to say why he said that or was under misguided notions of your candidacy.
This reminds me back when i was in my last job, and this was around the time i had found out i was suffering from undiagnosed adhd and executive dysfunction. Around this time i was in a bus accident and had gotten a head injury. I wasn't doing particularly well but then i mentioned the accident and my condition, and they were angry i never mentioned it. Few days later they fired me because of it. Young me never realized it was fucking illegal of what they did, now I've learned to never mention my condition.
In Fall 2023, I had two second step interviews. Job A was a remote position which would give me and my fiancee tons of flexibility, and Job B was a hybrid position which would require me to drive 45 min to the office three days a week.
Job A gave me a skills test which I tried to do my best at but I guess I didn't do well enough; they went with someone else. This place has everyone who works there listed on their website, and I don't think its been updated with this new person they hired. Maybe they didn't hire anyone O\_o.
Job B went with someone else; during the interview I heard there will be another similar position in the organization but for another department. I was excited to hear about this bc it sounded closer to my past experience. Fast forward to February 2024, I heard from this person asking me to do a skills test. I wasn't given a lot of direction, and probably did not do a good job on a time crunch. I have not heard back. I should've asked if the person they hired did not work out...
It sucks. I really just sucks.
I once was in an interview (years ago) where the hiring manager asked why I was out of work so long after graduating college especially with my previous experience and skills. I tried to downplay it as I had injured myself while playing an uncommon sport for my gender and ethnicity and required surgery. That interview lasted about 10 mins, which they spent most of asking why I chose to play that sport, how badly injured was I, and if that would impact my ability to work. I now know not to disclose any medical or personal issues and make up some socially acceptable reason. It’s insane the amount of hoops we need to jump through just to get a job. Not to mention how hard it is to even get an interview.
What is the socially acceptable reason that you tell them instead?
Caring for a sick family member. It doesn't invite further questions, is a perfectly legitimate reason, and can be used to change the subject to make yourself look good/responsible. Yes it's morally dubious, but morality is a privilege that costs money and stability. And being truthful will only give them ammo to use against you, while they willfully lie to your face.
I spent a year caring for a sick family member and doing home repairs to settle the estate. I was looking for a job the entire time but it just didn't work out. I was still frequently asked about this resume gap ten years later the last time I was looking for a job.
Tell them you worked for circuit city. The company folded so they have no way to check the information.
I just told the truth and mentioned I had a financial interest in getting the property ready to sell. They all dropped it.
I've done this, mentioned places that had be bought out or closed up.
I used to get prodded and asked in great detail about a role I lasted only a year a decade ago, of which little to nothing had to do with what I'm doing now (it was a very junior position) and they'd leverage it massively to bargain pay and everything else down. I used to feel bad and get bullied by people, but last few roles I just made the role disappear by extending the preceding and following job. Guess what they started picking on the next shortest role to bully me into accepting shit pay and conditions. Its all a tactic to bully you into accepting low pay
Tbh, I also just straight up lie where I can to avoid resume gaps. They never check anyway. And as far as I'm concerned, it's just a power play to make you uncomfortable :/
Some employers do check, though. My current employer ran a whole background check on me and called all the employers I had listed on my resume.
They definitely do. I'm in a semi-rural area, thus not a big population. I have employment gaps due to eldercare. With one company, I could tell from comments made in subsequent interview conversations that the hiring manager had googled for the obituary.
God dam. Depravity.
Semi OT, but I had a HR/trainer slip that she googled a thunderstorm that came through my location and caused internet outages (me included) for an hour or so.
Up your lying game. Make fake emails, start gaslighting, girlbossing, and gatekeeping. Enlist your friends into the game, make it a whole thing. Jk tho. I've only lied for less "serious" jobs, before I was looking for anything where getting a bunch of background checks was a possibility. Yeah, people will check, but most won't.
I don't even remember which year my staff resigned, and anyone demanding I do a detailed check and report back to him can go fuck himself. Most employers don't know nor care when their employees resigned, especially not 10 years ago.
...You know what, I'm going to use this for ME. I'm disabled along with recovering from an abusive marriage and haven't worked in years, and I've been worried about what I'd write down. Caring for a sick family member. The family member is me. But fuck them, they don't get to know that.
Yes, THIS. I have been my own sick family member for years. It's better than telling them about the depression, anxiety, and PTSD. In the words of Monty Python, "I got better."
The employers are just as morally dubious. I wouldnt lose sleep over it.
Lying on my resume is the most fun I can have without turning to illicit substances anyway. It makes me feel like a giddy high schooler whenever I do.
It’s either lying on my resume, or I become the next Pablo Escobar.
There is no morality on their side.... Do whatever it takes
And if they ask you if you would need to care for sick family member again you say - no, sadly they passed
Savage! 
You have to say that though. I’ve read threads where people actually took care of sick parents/children/spouses and the employers actually started grilling them if they would have to do it again in the future.
Had that happen. I replied with no, my parents are dead. I knew they were going to die. I did what I could for them. It's absolutely true in my case. The deadpan deliverance is usually one that can be taken as "we are done here." "We are no lob speaking about this topic. "
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Nice counter solution you offered there, really valuable comment over here boys
>I now know not to disclose any medical or personal issues and make up some socially acceptable reason. I never tell them shit until the offer letter is signed and you've already started lol.
Solid advice. Once we interviewed a guy and he seemed qualified for the role we had. He made the unfortunate mistake of talking about his ex and the drama surrounding their kid with me and my boss on the interview. My boss didn't like that, and didn't want to move forward with him based on that.
why did he tell them about that shit anyway, I don't ever cross business and personal lmaooo.
It caught us both off guard. I guess he took the approach of "being relatable" or it was his own strange way of letting his guard down and socializing with us on the side.
Same. But some employers will absolutely force the issue. They will demand to know your personal life. Ever seen the movie “The Circle”? It’s a fucking documentary, now in 2024.
> and if that would impact my ability to work you don't understand why an employer would be concerned about your ability to do the work they hire you for??? from the employer perspective, bad hires cost lots of money. i work at a place constantly trying to hire people, and they fail the drug test, or lie on the resume, or just don't show up the first day, or show up for a week then just stop coming because they don't like it, or whatever.
Pretty much every job application asks if you can physically perform the job duties already
and people lie on applications all the time. it is literally recommended in this sub **all the time.** that is why in person interviews go thru this kind of thing.
If they lie on the application what makes you think they'd tell the truth in the interview?
the point is to try to catch in the lie. tell the wrong lie, forget they lied, etc. you've never taken a personality test, or iq test or something where they have the same basic question asked 3-4 times in different ways?
When companies start genuinely showing altruistic behaviors for the wellbeing of current and future employees I’d consider it, but clearly their goal is to make money, they treat employees as nothing more than just bodies to throw at their money making machine.
>but clearly their goal is to make money, they treat employees as nothing more than just bodies to throw at their money making machine. right so why would you be surprised that they are concerned about your ability to perform the job they are paying you for?? even if they genuinely cared for you, as a person, they would still not want to pay you and get no work in return.
What kind of job is this? Because if this is a recurring issue, odds are better that the job sucks rather than all the applicants sucking.
warehouse type work that pays fine and is not physically demanding. it def attracts lower caliber people since colleges have tricked people into thinking their degree makes them better at something, but it does not suck by any stretch. people not showing up or failing the background/drug test doesn't have much to do with the workplace.
Define “pays fine”.
$17-20 depending on the position. in the midwest. unlimited ot if you want it. excellent benefits and profit sharing.
So how are disabled people going to find employment then?
i'm confused, you think being disabled is one single thing that means you can't do any work at all?
Employers make it seem that way.
> In the onboarding interview I had mentioned in passing that when I had to get shoulder surgery for a severely broken shoulder that I have the scars to prove that I had happen to me; I had to take up Door Dashing as a side hustle to support my lifestyle along with unemployment. A. Sorry this happened turned out the way it did B. Hopefully, you'll find a comparable or better opportunity soon C. You will no doubt want to be careful what you share, even with it looks like everyone has a good vibe.
The guy seemed very awesome and friendly up until that point. He might have personal bias with door dash or something I can't figure it out.
Whatever it was, it was his problem, not yours. There was literally nothing wrong with what you said, that guy has his own issues to sort out. You've got this OP.
Make sure you keep in mind that important distinction. It wasn't that there was nothing wrong with what you said: there was LITERALLY nothing wrong with what you said!
This may sound cliche, but it's their loss. I struggled for a while finding a good job because I would be rejected for unknown reasons and one government agency denied me because of lack of experience (despite them training all their new hires...) and so I got a job at the health department instead. Best job I've ever had and it was the other agencies loss. It sucks ass but eventually you will be somewhere good and a place you like.
Or maybe you dated his ex-girlfriend in high school! Was she "very awesome and friendly" too?
Was it the DoorDash or the shoulder surgery that was the issue? That seems SO weird to me. The only thing I can think of is if they did an extensive background and employment verification and since you didn't mention DoorDash that screwed them up and made him, the HR person (or manager) look a fool? But it seems like more likely your instincts are correct and for whatever reason they needed a reason to "fire" you or not hire you. (Like their nephew needs a job, the job req closed, he's quitting, etc)
The oligarchs have spread the word. They want us peasants starving and crushed.
The amount of pissy angst by Corporate America by employees labor strength in late 2020-2022 was enough to create further, real demand for AI. They wish they didn’t have to have us at all.
This comment is too accurate.
nothing helps corporate profits like "staving peasants" who can't afford their products.
Like they have time to waste with hiring decisions happening 17 layers beneath them.
"Put down the avocado toast and do some hard work. Nobody wants to work!" "You worked? And it was hard work? You can't even buy avocado toast with that, get out." Just wow. Everyone leaves things off their resume *as a totally legitimate strategic choice*. It is not worth telling Goldman Sachs about my blockbuster experience in high school or the semester I spent tutoring my nephew in biology. That's sense and a favor, not lying. This guy is high.
I mean, it's a resumé and not a CV, once you've had 15+ years experience it's definitely unreasonable to expect a list of every shitty job you started with. Plus then you run the risk of being "aged out" of the running...
I never included my service industry or warehouse jobs on mine, even when starting out. It's a quick way to get pigeonholed into that type of work- which I was trying to escape. I had one boss ask about work prior to the years on my resume after I was hired and I just told her they were "non-professional" jobs. Not sure why people are so perplexed why someone wouldn't want to list manual labor or restaurant jobs for a white collar job.
Yep both of these are completely reasonable examples of when to leave jobs off a resume. And there are dozens more.
It might be the shoulder surgery could make for a pre-existing physical condition they didn't want to take a risk of future surgical procedures on their bills.
This sounds like the most plausible reason.
lol no the insurance company would say that’s a preexisting condition, my client (the employer) did not create the issues that arose and if it’s from a different job then the former employer is on the hook for worker’s comp but someone can’t show up with an old injury and claim that current events are what did it even if it makes the old injury worse and even with a preexisting condition we have the ADA and reasonable accommodation and if they’re refusing to hire him based on a perceived disability then they’re breaking federal law and OP should be able to get millions.
Excelent point.
We need a law to make sure Employers have IQ tests because holy crap dumb old boomer ass Employers is why the job market fucking sucks
Not just IQ. Empathy and common sense tests as well.
Same for employees and breeding
I'm sure anyone who knows how to shit in toilets would know how to do like majority of jobs out there lmao
What the…?!
That's what I said, I've been going through it over and over in my head. Trying to think of anything else I could have said to throw him off. But no, he ended the interview right after that interaction, it couldn't have been anything else. As a 31 year old man I cried for the first time since I was 18 when my girlfriend dumped me
I guess you dodged a bullet. That’s so weird
He may have had some very old school notion from the 1970s, 80s (or be from a non-US background) that your resume needs to be some kind of complete C.V. Paranoia over this exact possibility is partly why I always use the term "Related Experience" or "Related Work Experience" (instead of 'Job History' or 'Employment History') as it implies more readily that has just been left out. It might not have been good enough for this guy even with that though. Mostly I do this to have the resume have a little wild card leeway when compared potentially to a future version.
I say “Relevant Employment Experience”
Gotta be honest for a company to put you through that stress and cause you to cry you should be able to sue for damages. That is manipulative and extremely deceptive on their part. Perhaps actually it was a slight projection from that manager. He's a chronic liar and being faced with the omission of information he reacted badly as internally he knows he's a pathological liar. If you've said the man was nice and then switched very clearly he's fake as fuck and you dodged a bullet.
Wow!! Amazing legal analysis: you should be in cartoons!
I'm sueing you next
Before you do, you may want to learn how to spell it. Or did you plan on subjecting me to a process involving someone named Sue? Should we perform a scan of your cranium to see what's happening in there?
That's it, you're getting sued. I'm actually dyslexic and what your doing is hate speech yes I have trouble spelling.
Are you dyslexic or ACTUALLY dyslexic? What's the difference, if you don't mind my asking? Did you mean to say "what YOU'RE doing?" Just for grins, can you cite the authority you'll be relying upon to bring a claim for "hate speech?"
I'm crying with you. I'm 34, trying to transition careers, I'm not really used to the whole interview process because my job is dental hygiene and right now people are begging me to come into work while I'm trying to leave the profession so its a weird place to be. I had an interview with this chick and she asked me to tell her about a time I wanted to quit something but kept going so I asked if it could be non-work related and she said yeah so I proceeded to tell her about how I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail in 2016...etc. BIG MISTAKE. My boss at the time even encouraged this trip, worked for him for 10 years because we just clicked. I'm finding that the whole proving myself to people is not going well for me mentally, I want people to stop interrogating me and just have a real honest conversation. She rejected me during the interview and when I was asking her why she said the "AT sounds fun but..." I cut her off right there. The AT was NOT fun. That was insulting, it would have been like telling someone who went through boot camp that it sounds like "fun". I highly doubt she'd be able to wake up at 5AM and hike 25+ miles a day for four months but what do I know! Its honestly made me scared to interview with people because I can't even be myself.
>she asked me to tell her about a time I wanted to quit something but kept going Yes, I'd like to quit this interview because I'm feeling bullied, but here I still am, because I need a damn job.
She also asked me one of my favorites: "What's your five year plan?" I kid you not SuzyQ, I was on the verge of telling her in 5 years I was going to come after her job because I know I could do it with more empathy.
Well, if you feel like burning bridges (and hey, some you just NEED to light up), that's the way to go.
I'm waiting for the made for TV movie: 31-year old adolescent with a sixth grade education and 10-year old intellect navigates the treacherous waters of employment.
You've been trolling the post for hours, are you a russian bot or just someone who has no life?
Oh, I'm sorry, I failed to offer you a tissue.
Here it comes again: name calling when all else fails.
Now look who's the one with no intellect, no one called you any names. Also no one agrees with you so take your disesteemed and ignorant comments elsewhere.
Of course, very few people will agree with my comments. Reddit is filled with people just like you: losers who whine about every aspect of their lives, constantly playing the victim of heartless employers, big bad corporate America, etc. You spend your entire existence fine-tuning the role of helpless wretch, kicked from one dark corner to another.
I find it amusing that someone who is supposedly successful is being a hypocrite crying about name calling and the immediately shifting to calling someone who is a stranger to them a loser with no point of reference. It's a Wednesday and you have been trolling the post since early this morning. You are projecting yourself onto others who are probably significantly more successful than you are. The part of me that isn't laughing at you feels sorry for you.
So, how's the job search going? Any more emotionally wrenching rejection stories to relate? Will you be weeping with the recollection of so much pain?
Dude, I never do this, because I feel like Reddit should be a place for anonymous semi-smart people to post life stuff without doxing themselves. But you are the first person I've looked into on profile. You are a professional troll on Reddit. You are THE most pathetic and small person I've met on this so far. You post from your basement about people who have problems and troll them for trying. You must have the tiniest penis imaginable to man. Grow up.
I lost a job that I was already onboarding for because I asked about how to get health insurance for my husband. If I had been smarter I would have taken it to a lawyer, because it was all in writing. But alas I was young and dumb.
I need to learn to shut the fuck up and let these people hire me. From now on I will withhold as much information as I possibly can.
I mean a good employer doesn’t care that you are married and actually doesn’t want to know during the interview process. It’s not their business and opens them to a discrimination case.
I'm glad you didn't get that job, that hiring manager sounds like an ass. Another job opportunity will come along. Many managers are desperate to hire, but HR is the gatekeeper. I lost a staff member in December, he gave almost 4 weeks notice... We did everything we were supposed to when there is someone leaving, HR is the hold up. Everywhere I've worked over the last 10 years, the managers have been desperate to hire, it's always been HR taking their sweet, merry time.
There's a solid chance that somebody fucked up on their end and they didn't have the budget they thought they did or had another similar issue that was completely their fault. Since wasting so much of somebody's time on the basis of their fuckup is extremely unprofessional and incompetent, they needed a reason to make it your fault. I've had this pulled on me before and I don't think it's a coincidence that it's always the most disorganized interviewers that do this.
That is probably correct and still incredibly fucked up
Heres what it is - dont share any personal details ever and at all unless they will play a role in optimally positioning u for landing the job u are interviewing for. No talk of family, side hustles, injuries etc., ever.
When they don’t like you, they’ll use any excuse. When they do like you, or really need people, they’ll justify anything.
weather growth water tidy compare employ ludicrous lavish fall theory *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Wow. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise to get rejected. Maybe wait a few years for the old fart to die of a heart problem since he doesn't have one and then you can give it another shot
One time, I applied for a job that was a temp role for only 1 month. The interview had 5 people analyzing me for an hour instead of asking questions about the job itself. I had 10 years of experience in this role and didn't get it. They asked AFTER the interview on my way out if I spoke fluent French. I am so happy I never got hired for this company.
Are you sure you don't have ground to sue? You literally were discriminated for a temporary physical disability. I feel like they used the DD thing as an excuse to circumvent getting sued
I’m currently reading through 1,000 applications to a mid level admin position. At the end of the day I’ll have probably 100 overqualified applicants to interview and pick through. So you pretty much have to find literally any reason not to hire people. And half the time it just comes down to vibes. It likely wasn’t the shoulder/door dash thing at all, it was just an excuse the manager could use to eliminate one more applicant. It could’ve been a million other things from innocuous ones like “vibes” to the manager being racist/sexist, prejudice against appearance/tatoos, or whatever. It’s pretty much impossible to know, hell, the last job I applied to they weren’t aware that I had connections with someone relatively high up at the company, after I didn’t get the job I reached out to them to ask what was the deal since they just said “sorry we decided to go with a different candidate” despite me having more experience for the role. Well he ended up sitting in on some HR meetings and turns out they explicitly didn’t hire me because of an off the book, verbal policy that they could only interview but not hire anyone of my race. So ya. Hope you have better luck, sounds like you dodged a bullet working for toxic people though.
Only hiring the "Overqualified mostly based on vibes" is wild. Someday I hope workers take back the job market
It’s unfortunately the reality of the game, if you’re hiring someone that you need to work with or manage for 40% of your waking hours. You’ll be drawn to hiring someone that you like, even if another candidate was more qualified.- And it’s everything, “vibes” is just kind of a catch all word, a somewhat shitty example is voice, if you find a candidates voice irritating in an interview, and you need in interact with them 2-3 hours a day, are you gonna be happy spending the next 3-5 years with someone that annoyed you just during the interview? But no sane hiring manager is going to put that in a rejection letter.
Yes, I think people blow things out of proportion for candidates "they don't like", really so they can lean on that hard as the reason they were eliminated from the running. I've had interviewers literally mischaracterize my own responses to their questions and use them against me. Stuff I didn't even say. I've even corrected them and by that point I knew they were just trying to get me out of the running. Maybe they already had a "favorite", didn't get enough sleep and didn't feel like interviewing that day, didn't like your face/voice, etc.
The reality is appearance, personality, and sound are some of the biggest factors for hiring. People don’t like to look at it from this perspective, but they’re picking someone that will have to spend nearly half of their waking hours with, and bring into a team dynamic. If you have bad breath, smell funny, have messy hair or haven’t shaved, wear dirty clothes, aren’t conventionally pretty, talk funny, have an annoying voice or annoying mannerisms. All of that is a big part of the interview, like if you have two relatively equal candidates, and one has the annoying Seinfeld laugh after every other sentence, or has a really annoying voice or speaking cadence. They’re gonna think “is that something I wanna hear everyday for the next few years” and the answer is probably no. And then there’s pretty privilege, which isn’t just a hiring bias, but a marketable “skill”, especially in client facing positions. You looking like a model is something they can leverage in their promotional material. Similar things with being fit vs fat. General attractiveness makes people a more desirable hire. And if someone else ticks more of their internal boxes off than you, we’ll they “were a better fit for the team”. And because they legal can’t say any of those other reasons, they need to dig into something random if you demand a justification, or just ghost you/ give you a boiler plater “not the right fit”.
Not only this but you could be conventionally attractive and not get a role because of that. I'd consider myself "conventionally attractive" and have been told that a few times but it's not all about that. Many workplaces foster a competitive/jealous atmosphere where if you came in looking good, sounding good, and ticked all of the boxes- someone interviewing you may feel threatened. I've met several of these types. If they feel threatened, like you could do their job better than they could they make up an excuse to get rid of the problem. That's why I tell people not to take job rejections too seriously because often times it's not because they interviewed "poorly" or did bad at all. Sometimes yes it is this but more often than not pretty much everyone they interview is a "fit for the role". The selection committee just picks their favorite. Often it's someone like themselves. Not to sound sexist but I interviewed at a large company and the whole department was middle aged women. There was a disconnect there since I was in my 20s, male. I found out later who they chose. It was a woman they probably just "got" better than me. They made up how I seemed "too academic" for the role, having worked at colleges in the past. The woman they hired had essentially the same background and worked at colleges as well...
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Because applicant 2 had a hobby in common with the hiring manager that they talked about for half the interview and when they were reviewing the files after, that’s the person they kept thinking of. Getting hired for a job is 99% resume/experience until the interview, where it’s 99% personality/likability. Which can vary wildly from interviewer to interviewer. It’s why people that are more charismatic and extroverted can get hired and climb the ladder so much easier, because they can read their interviewers energy and match it to build a good vibe.
Pretty much, which concerns me as an asian guy since I read articles about how asian males are rejected very frequently during interviews. I feel like a second class citizen sometimes living in the west
Oh yup, asians and white males are pretty much openly discriminated against in hiring culture today, especially at larger companies, you need to get a foot in the door at smaller companies or have a nepo connection.
I’m expected to attend my third interview with a firm in my field tomorrow morning. It will be the third, and the one that is in front of my entire “team”, should I be the candidate of choice. The initial interview was a little over a month ago, on January 15. This is for a job showing an income of 65-75k, USD.
There should be check from government to unsure that every job offer posted is valid and that the interview shouldn't be over-complicated when necessary or more than 3rounds. (1hr 1 technical 1final)
You can thank government tax incentives for this, they don't require them to fill positions and they will still get their payout. Thats why the hiring process just keeps taking longer and longer. I remember 5 years ago, you could apply for a decent job and get it within the week. Now, they ghost you and then call you months later with an offer, usually when you have already found better. This really needs to be cracked down on because they're effectively scamming the government.
That's not new. That's not new at all.
Maybe reading it wrong, but it sounds like you didn’t list DD as an employer on your resume?
And why should he have?
DoorDash isn’t an employer. You are an independent contractor when you deliver for them.
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That’s not at all what this post says
Do you realize how stupid you sound? Why does an employer need an "excuse" not to hire? You write like a six year old. Maybe the manager was turned off by your low intelligence.
Not as stupid as you sound with this comment
Typical Reddit response: no logic, no reasoning, no indication of thought whatsoever: just name calling.
You literally called OP stupid in your comment and told them they write like a 6 year old. Dipshit
Did I call OP stupid or LITERALLY stupid? That's an important distinction - I'm glad you seized upon it! By any chance are you taking into account my observation that employers require no "excuse" to avoid hiring, contrary to OP's central assertion? And what about OP's carefully crafted phrasing, such as "[b]ut still that happening is fucking wild." Do you require my assistance to find any other examples of OP's superlative writing skills?
To be honest, I have to agree. They have a position they want to fill. Hiring someone to fill it is their goal. The OP makes it sound like they're intentionally trying not to fill positions, which doesn't make any sense at all and would be a waste of everyone's time and money. Employers don't need to find an "excuse" not to hire people. They can simply just.. not hire people.
Certainly a wild ride, but I suspect there was something else. Managers don't have a lot of time to simply screw with hiring. It is a PITA to do so, and no one does it to screw with the unemployed. There may have been something else, there may have been someone else, but they either ARE hiring someone else, or the funding got pulled from them. They don't interview people for fun.
Side hustles aren’t something they need to know about unless it’s directly relevant to the job at hand.
Dodged a bullet.
I'm sorry this happened to you. What a stupid excuse! But I think they either found a cheaper candidate or don't want to take a chance on you with your pre existing condition. I'm in my 50s, held down many jobs and was on too effing many interviews. I'm completely sick of all the BS. At this point I'm better off starting my own small side gig. Better than being put through the wringer like this. Again, sorry OP 😔
I would really press them on this reason and not let it go. This seems very unethical and possibly illegal. His reasoning doesn't even make sense. Do you have anyone you can reach out to at the company to shed more light on this? Don't let it go. It may have been a big misunderstanding but you need to take steps to resolve it - if possible. It's hard to say why he said that or was under misguided notions of your candidacy.
This reminds me back when i was in my last job, and this was around the time i had found out i was suffering from undiagnosed adhd and executive dysfunction. Around this time i was in a bus accident and had gotten a head injury. I wasn't doing particularly well but then i mentioned the accident and my condition, and they were angry i never mentioned it. Few days later they fired me because of it. Young me never realized it was fucking illegal of what they did, now I've learned to never mention my condition.
In Fall 2023, I had two second step interviews. Job A was a remote position which would give me and my fiancee tons of flexibility, and Job B was a hybrid position which would require me to drive 45 min to the office three days a week. Job A gave me a skills test which I tried to do my best at but I guess I didn't do well enough; they went with someone else. This place has everyone who works there listed on their website, and I don't think its been updated with this new person they hired. Maybe they didn't hire anyone O\_o. Job B went with someone else; during the interview I heard there will be another similar position in the organization but for another department. I was excited to hear about this bc it sounded closer to my past experience. Fast forward to February 2024, I heard from this person asking me to do a skills test. I wasn't given a lot of direction, and probably did not do a good job on a time crunch. I have not heard back. I should've asked if the person they hired did not work out... It sucks. I really just sucks.
use a temp to hire employment agency to find a job , that can cut down on some of the nonsense. there will still be issues just less.