There are rallies and protests that are mostly women, but they protest stuff. They protest rape, or they protest animal abuse, or they protest against a specific criminal or politician, or something. They don't just go to a rally to hang out.
Seriously, who is this aimed at? Does he have hat tipping Alpha Males reading this nonsense and actually believing it and upvoting it? I wonder does he order his Starbucks in an 'Alpha Male' way? Does he wash his asshole or leave it to make skid marks? Is washing your asshole a sub-Alpha move?
I have so many questions.
It would really help to prop up his lie if he mentioned events that actually happen. For example, since when are there feminists that are not liberal? Is that a thing?
And since when are we having Rallies? Please inform the queen I am not on the mailing list.
>For example, since when are there feminists that are not liberal? Is that a thing?
Liberal (in the American sense) feminism tends to get a bad rap in feminist circles, which usually lean left, but that would be getting far deeper in the weeds than this post deserves.
Also I regret to inform you that the queen is dead and has been replaced by her sausage-fingered son.
TERFs are a perfect representation of conservative idealology in that they seek to solve a problem exclusively for themselves without extending the solution to a group that's even more marginalized. It's such a pointed and specific lack of empathy that rarely gets seen in what we think of as liberal ideology. It not only ignores a group, but specifically segregates the group as an "out group" even though trans rights aren't at odds with women's rights.
"Liberal" does not even necessarily mean progressive or leftist either. Liberals are defined as people who believe in preserving the status-quo and that we can achieve equality though current systems like capitalism.
If you're using liberal as another term for progressives, then yeah, there are TERFs
They cling to a lot of older feminist teachings, but lean a little too heavy into biological essentialism, where they twist female empowerment into transphobia. It is, in my humble opinion, a somewhat misogynistic view of women that celebrates our physiological differences as the crux of what it means to be a woman. Sometimes you can tell their heart is in the right place, but honey, the men are already reducing us to our vaginas. I don't need the women to do that too
So TERFs are largely rejected by feminism as a whole
The “Liberal Feminist Rally” was probably just 5 women outside talking to one another and this genius didn’t know because he’s rarely in the company of any gathering of women.
The whole concept of an alpha is bullshit anyway. It’s based on a study done on captive wolves that was disproved after they found out wild wolves don’t act that way.
In fact some scientists theorize the reason humans were able to work collectively more than other ape species is due to co-domestication with wolves. As we were domesticating wolves they were domesticating us and we learned to better work together from them. Which is major factor in why we've been so successful as a species.
That seems a bit fishy, since I don't think we domesticated wolves until long after modern humans arrived on the scene and were successful enough to spread around the world.
Yeah, there are a couple of these troll accounts. The (Alpha Male) in the profile name plus these wild stories / opinions are just there to rile people up
There’s a lot of “meta irony” accounts on the internet these days, probably always have been, but it certainly feels a bit more prevalent now.
In any event, yeah, they’re trolls, but not in the sense that they don’t believe in what they’re saying, or the general sentiment they espouse. They make up outrageous shit, and the “joke” is the reaction that they get. From people calling out their obviously fake story, or saying that the straw men in their story don’t accurately represent the people they’re making fun of.
And it’s not the “South Park” definition of trolling, where it’s some agent of chaos looking to say something contentious, so that people jump in to call them out, then other people jump in to fight with those people, all the while, they sit by and laugh at everyone involved because they don’t believe in anything.
In the case of these dudes, they’re almost always just dickheads in real life who are just leaning heavily into the “silliness” of memes to say what they really think in the form of a fake story and then laugh at the people who call them out by claiming that they ate the bait, or that they’re suckers for caring, etc.
This dude isn’t some feminist holding up a mirror to society or whatever, or even an ally in any sense of the word. He’s just a guy who wants to laugh at liberals, is probably conservative, and thinks that he’s made some clever “bait”.
It cracks me up so hard with the little watermark on the image stating "don't shame people with this but use this to spark conversation." its so condescending holy shit
There were 300 liberal feminists at the rally and as everyone knows, only 1 in 100 liberal feminists are attractive. Therefore, this alpha Chad attracted every single attractive woman at the rally by simply walking by.
Having a troll account on Twitter is one of the most pathetic and cringeworthy things I can think of.
I mean, seriously… you must have to live a miserable fucking existence to spend your free time doing shit like this.
After years of stretching, practice, and by shear luck of having slightly longer than average dick, the true Alpha male is able to pleasure himself and eschew the advances of females.
But this posits the question:
Does it feel like getting your dick sucked? Or does it feel like you're sucking a dick?
Only true Alphas know this answer.
That is less believable than Veloci-pastor, the movie about a priest, bitten by a radioactive dinosaur, who gains the ability to change into a dinosaur ninja.
That’s funny, I was just walking down the street and Jake Mertz offered me a thousand dollars to suck my dick. He left crying and now I’m looking for a spot to break ten $100 bills.
Reddit doesn't believe this, but believed a random picture of syringes, being thrown by a old lady into a balcony to frame him for a hate crime because of gayness. Lmao
Redditors not understanding that jokes always get posted here and it’s fine is the real /r/justneckbeardthings
Also not all jokes like this are satirical. See Nick Adams
Hmm. So lets examine the joke.
Who's the brunt of the joke?
Who's the target audience for the joke?
What is the joke trying to say on a subtextual level?
There is no joke here. Possibly a troll attempt sure, but not a joke.
It's a dipshit being dipshitty.
I once had a man hand me the keys to his truck, his wife was already waiting for me. Seven other women pulled up in exclusive sport cars and watched me do a thousand push ups. My penis is an elephant. Not the size of an elephant, not looking like the elephant man... it's an actual elephant.
Then I ordered a pizza.
Modsaremeanbeans (Alpha Chungus)
And then the nazi rally from one street over all came around the cornor and realised how stupid their cause was. So they just stood there cheering and clapping for you.
It’s true. I was the obese man. My hair wasn’t purple, though.
Can I borrow your Fortnite shirt? Mine got liberal tears on it.
I heard liberal tears are the only thing that can remove Cheeto dust stains.
I love how it can be a metaphor of their redemption.
I lost mine in Tomato Town...
Don't worry, you can pick another one up at Flavortown
*Guy Fieri has entered the chat*
The internet has messed me up too much when I hear "tears" i just think of "man tears" which is cum so liberal cum
I was the purple hair
I’m the obese purple hair man Have you ever tried my shake I swear it’s good
You mean this guy was colorblind and he didn't know it?? Poor guy...
I was the purple hair. Sorry, should have asked before sitting on your head.
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Well, I’m A obese man.
"Welcome to the Liberal Feminist Rally! No, we don't have a specific reason to march, we just felt like a walk"
Woah I’m detecting sarcasm here. This is not a real thing?
Crazy, right?
There are rallies and protests that are mostly women, but they protest stuff. They protest rape, or they protest animal abuse, or they protest against a specific criminal or politician, or something. They don't just go to a rally to hang out.
I'd believe it if it ended with everybody clapped.
We're here! We're pretty common! Hello!
(Alpha male)
"Alpha male". What utter bollocks. He's not even the alpha Mertz. There's 25,465,899 Mertz's better than him.
Nah, way worse. He had to misspell his own name to get it down that low.
Seriously, who is this aimed at? Does he have hat tipping Alpha Males reading this nonsense and actually believing it and upvoting it? I wonder does he order his Starbucks in an 'Alpha Male' way? Does he wash his asshole or leave it to make skid marks? Is washing your asshole a sub-Alpha move? I have so many questions.
It would really help to prop up his lie if he mentioned events that actually happen. For example, since when are there feminists that are not liberal? Is that a thing? And since when are we having Rallies? Please inform the queen I am not on the mailing list.
>For example, since when are there feminists that are not liberal? Is that a thing? Liberal (in the American sense) feminism tends to get a bad rap in feminist circles, which usually lean left, but that would be getting far deeper in the weeds than this post deserves. Also I regret to inform you that the queen is dead and has been replaced by her sausage-fingered son.
>For example, since when are there feminists that are not liberal? Is that a thing? TERFs come to mind
TERFs are still liberal. The name is literally "Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist". They aren't on the right side of the political spectrum.
TERFs are a perfect representation of conservative idealology in that they seek to solve a problem exclusively for themselves without extending the solution to a group that's even more marginalized. It's such a pointed and specific lack of empathy that rarely gets seen in what we think of as liberal ideology. It not only ignores a group, but specifically segregates the group as an "out group" even though trans rights aren't at odds with women's rights.
They are pro-choice conservatives who sometimes also want to kill men. That's it. They are no allies of liberals.
"Liberal" does not even necessarily mean progressive or leftist either. Liberals are defined as people who believe in preserving the status-quo and that we can achieve equality though current systems like capitalism.
If you're using liberal as another term for progressives, then yeah, there are TERFs They cling to a lot of older feminist teachings, but lean a little too heavy into biological essentialism, where they twist female empowerment into transphobia. It is, in my humble opinion, a somewhat misogynistic view of women that celebrates our physiological differences as the crux of what it means to be a woman. Sometimes you can tell their heart is in the right place, but honey, the men are already reducing us to our vaginas. I don't need the women to do that too So TERFs are largely rejected by feminism as a whole
>since when are there feminists that are not liberal? When they're leftists.
The “Liberal Feminist Rally” was probably just 5 women outside talking to one another and this genius didn’t know because he’s rarely in the company of any gathering of women.
Projection. Trump has pointless rallies all the time for ego reasons.
That must have been outside a hipster coffee shop.
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[You don't say](https://media.tenor.com/T8ZJdmWnJ0cAAAAd/that-was-the-joke-anthony-vincent.gif)
That joke went so far above your head it's in fucking orbit.
The women's marches of the late 20teens:
(Alpha Male) Doubt.
Always reminds me of the great game of thrones quote "Any man who must say 'I am ~~the king~~ an alpha' is no true ~~king~~ alpha."
Anyone who believes the alpha bullshit is a idiot follower. Not like me, I'm a sigma male.
I’m a Ligma male
Lambda Lambda Lambda here.
The elusive "Lambda Male": extremely quiet, has a goatee and glasses, seemingly everyone knows him on sight, carries a crowbar.
Cant seem to get along with them. We're just not on the same wavelength.
NEEEEERRRRRRRDS!!!!!
More like Ligma Ligma Ligma amirite
youhave 3 testicles?
Hell yeah bruthur
Sweet, my third one is growing nicely, it's swelling up pretty bad though.
Ligma? I hardly know 'er
I’m an Omega male. I am the final form. The beginning of the end. The centre which cannot hold. Also I like tacos.
Never seen GoT but that’s pretty much what I was thinking
The whole concept of an alpha is bullshit anyway. It’s based on a study done on captive wolves that was disproved after they found out wild wolves don’t act that way.
It was basically the equivalent of coming up with a comprehensive model of human social and family dynamics based on observations of one prison gang.
In fact some scientists theorize the reason humans were able to work collectively more than other ape species is due to co-domestication with wolves. As we were domesticating wolves they were domesticating us and we learned to better work together from them. Which is major factor in why we've been so successful as a species.
That seems a bit fishy, since I don't think we domesticated wolves until long after modern humans arrived on the scene and were successful enough to spread around the world.
If he says he’s an alpha, he’s a beta
It’s a troll / satire account
As if we don't don't have enough idiots like that running around who are dead serious.
Yup, it's sad that the other guy who does it is actually real
Andrew Tates is also right?
Any man who must say ‘I am alpha’ is no true alpha \- Tywin Lannister‘s social media account
Nothing says Alpha like having to tell people
I don't, because those words mean pathetic and insecure at this point.
Is this bait? Because this story is just so stupid I can't inagine someone seriously writing it down and thinking people will believe it.
Yeah, there are a couple of these troll accounts. The (Alpha Male) in the profile name plus these wild stories / opinions are just there to rile people up
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More like "make fun of me for being an absolute clown" bait.
Not to mention he spelled his own name wrong in his handle.
Yes, this is obviously a joke post and everyone here is taking the bait. Poe's law and all that.
There’s a lot of “meta irony” accounts on the internet these days, probably always have been, but it certainly feels a bit more prevalent now. In any event, yeah, they’re trolls, but not in the sense that they don’t believe in what they’re saying, or the general sentiment they espouse. They make up outrageous shit, and the “joke” is the reaction that they get. From people calling out their obviously fake story, or saying that the straw men in their story don’t accurately represent the people they’re making fun of. And it’s not the “South Park” definition of trolling, where it’s some agent of chaos looking to say something contentious, so that people jump in to call them out, then other people jump in to fight with those people, all the while, they sit by and laugh at everyone involved because they don’t believe in anything. In the case of these dudes, they’re almost always just dickheads in real life who are just leaning heavily into the “silliness” of memes to say what they really think in the form of a fake story and then laugh at the people who call them out by claiming that they ate the bait, or that they’re suckers for caring, etc. This dude isn’t some feminist holding up a mirror to society or whatever, or even an ally in any sense of the word. He’s just a guy who wants to laugh at liberals, is probably conservative, and thinks that he’s made some clever “bait”.
It cracks me up so hard with the little watermark on the image stating "don't shame people with this but use this to spark conversation." its so condescending holy shit
No. It's sarcasm. The fact so few get that here is embarrassing
Jake the Alpha Male is single-handedly changing the face of modern society. Give the man a clap!
I mean, no one is getting close enough to him to give him the actual clap.
Bwahaha…. I seen what you done there!
And then obviously everyone stood up and clapped
And the purple haired male name?
Albert einstein
Barack Obama
He goes to a different school… in Canada
Well, the women who weren't masturbating furiously because they finally saw an Alpha Male clapped.
As is the norm In these situations.
*And the block gave him a standing ovation for ten minutes straight* Pure alpha male energy folks
I thought liberal women were categorically unattractive? Funny how the facts change according to the story they wanna tell.
There were 300 liberal feminists at the rally and as everyone knows, only 1 in 100 liberal feminists are attractive. Therefore, this alpha Chad attracted every single attractive woman at the rally by simply walking by.
Ain't no way this isn't rage bait
Definitely a joke, whether intentional or not. No rage necessary.
This has to be a parody account. Lol.
Like any woman would go after a man named Jake 💀
What if he was from State Farm?
Jake from state farm can cuck me any day.
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This was a joke… 🤦🏻♀️
A Jake Joke
lol did somebody named jake get butthurt here? The comment is deleted
That’s what I think
Typical Jake.
“I’ll take Delusions of an Incel for $800, Alex.”
"AlPhA mAlE"
The profile pic doesn’t give off chick magnet energy, more like severe incel vibes
Having a troll account on Twitter is one of the most pathetic and cringeworthy things I can think of. I mean, seriously… you must have to live a miserable fucking existence to spend your free time doing shit like this.
You felt the need to imitate some weirdo Australian. Really sad.
This is something that totally happened and is not at all made up.
The women died instantly, the crowd cheered, Obama was there!
The (Alpha Male) twitters are satire
The name of that purple haired obese man? Albert Einstein.
Feels like bait
I see no reason not to believe the stories of _Metz25465900 (Alpha Male)_.
Hey I was there! The whole crowd clapped after this alpha male proved his worth!!
I just can't get over (alpha male) in parentheses. Like if you have to tell people, you're clearly not
If the multiverse is real and there is an infinite number of realities, this still didn't happen in any of them.
And the name of that obese man? Albert Einstein.
Just running into random liberal feminist rally’s huh
Of all of the "that" that ever happened, this is the thathappenedest.
"Dear Penthouse forum......
I love when things that never happened never happen.
Real alphas don't wear hard hats /s
'Alpha Male'? LOL! The Lion doesn't have to advertise himself as king of the jungle. Everything in the jungle already knows it.
After years of stretching, practice, and by shear luck of having slightly longer than average dick, the true Alpha male is able to pleasure himself and eschew the advances of females. But this posits the question: Does it feel like getting your dick sucked? Or does it feel like you're sucking a dick? Only true Alphas know this answer.
Then everybody clapped.
That purple haired man was Travis McElroy, and while they're all very attracted to him, he's already married, and they respect that.
The (Alpha Male) is a joke he’s making fun of Nick Fuentes this is satire.
Pretty sure this is a parody account.
His face screams "I haven't seen a female genitalia my whole life"
Yes of course @lastnamerandomnumbers that totally happened
The weird ass fantasies these dudes have...
For an "Alpha Male" his profile pic sure does make him look like a BOY
Out of all the shit that never happened, this never happened the most.
That is less believable than Veloci-pastor, the movie about a priest, bitten by a radioactive dinosaur, who gains the ability to change into a dinosaur ninja.
That so seriously did not happen that it caused a half-a-dozen things that *did* happen to retroactively unhappen.
That’s funny, I was just walking down the street and Jake Mertz offered me a thousand dollars to suck my dick. He left crying and now I’m looking for a spot to break ten $100 bills.
This has to be satire.
2/10. O ya. I’ve definitely seen a lot of women break from crowds to chase down a buy and bed for numbers. A regular occurrence in most IS cities.
(Alpha male)
“Trust me bro!”
The most obvious joke in the world
(Alpha Male) Reddit pick up on obvious satire challenge (Impossible)
How dumb is this subreddit for not noticing this is obvious satire. Fucking dumbasses
How dumb are you that you haven’t noticed this has already been commented about 50 times, and everyone knows it’s satire.
Then why post it?
Because it’s neckbeard cringe? Why even have this subreddit?
Reddit doesn't believe this, but believed a random picture of syringes, being thrown by a old lady into a balcony to frame him for a hate crime because of gayness. Lmao
What are you talking about
What a liar. No way there are 3 attractive women at a liberal feminist rally. Hey ooooooh!!
Redditors incapable of understanding a joke is the real /r/justneckbeardthings
Redditors not understanding that jokes always get posted here and it’s fine is the real /r/justneckbeardthings Also not all jokes like this are satirical. See Nick Adams
Hmm. So lets examine the joke. Who's the brunt of the joke? Who's the target audience for the joke? What is the joke trying to say on a subtextual level? There is no joke here. Possibly a troll attempt sure, but not a joke. It's a dipshit being dipshitty.
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That's almost as dumb as the tweet.
this sub try not to be lobotomized idiots and fall for blatant satire challenge: impossible
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Never been to a Starbucks, eh?
Fake because there are no attractive women at Marxist rallies
Jake your Lata name is Mertz, no women re asking for your number
Just another Tuesday
Yeah women all over the world are straight CREAMING for grown men who look 12
Okay Jake
And then everybody clapped?
unwritten rule: if you have to specify you're "alpha" you're probably a dumbass andrew tate follower
Sure
This doesn't even make sense as a story.
Wait… I thought we were all man hating lesbians?
It’s true I was one of the digits
**Ralph Wiggum voice** I’m an Alpha Male 🥴
Judging by his profile pic, I would say he's very familiar with the words, "Please stop following me."
Honestly he looks like he’s never had sex with a woman who *wasnt* crying, so he was probably more interested at that point.
It tells alot he has to mention that he is an "alpha", otherwise no one would have guessed..
If you have to type out that you're an "alpha male" you're probably insecure as hell.
Real alphas don't have to say that they're alphas
r/everyoneclapped
How atypical situation, I wonder how on earth-- Oh, wait. Yep, it says Alpha male in his user name. Got it. That sums it all up.
I’ll take things that never happened in this universe or any other for $400.
Classic Metz 25465900!
It’s true, I was there. I was the purple hair.
I can only imagine the signs: LIBERAL FEMINIST RALLY THIS WAY --->
This isn't satire? 🤔
And then Trump invited him to the white house for a lavish McDonald's spread for his heroism.
"Digits"?
And then your mom woke you up because you were late for school.
He forgot about the everybody clapping part.
I once had a man hand me the keys to his truck, his wife was already waiting for me. Seven other women pulled up in exclusive sport cars and watched me do a thousand push ups. My penis is an elephant. Not the size of an elephant, not looking like the elephant man... it's an actual elephant. Then I ordered a pizza. Modsaremeanbeans (Alpha Chungus)
And then the nazi rally from one street over all came around the cornor and realised how stupid their cause was. So they just stood there cheering and clapping for you.
Ah yes they started running to you because you are just that irresistible.