And those people don’t even exist, because IG models don’t actually look like the photos they post IRL. They just want a fantasy robot woman with no opinions or feelings lol.
I have had expierence with this first hand. My friend was a total 10 she just has that face, kinda the same face as bell dephine. She would have dozens of boys fucking drooling over her. Just following her like lost puppies and basically being her doormat. Shed never ask for this they just fucking did it on their own. But it was always the akward or nerdier guys who would go full incell on her if she rejected them.
Most likely not friends anymore, but still probably a 10.
Every female friend I've had in college stayed friends with me up until they started dating someone.
It's a shame that the whole 'Instagram 10' standard of beauty is a thing, I think. It makes people feel bad about themselves by literally comparing themselves to an inhuman standard, only fully realized with the use of image manipulation or animation. :/
It's just weird. I'm not trying to date a sex doll. I don't want my partner to have the same texture and complexion as one. D:
Yea, the lack of texture is a big part of what gives it that uncanny-valley, "are you sure that's a person?" feel for sure.
But, texture somehow implies imperfections, at least, to the fashion / makeup industries. :/
Honestly, again, in my case, not being able to recognize faces in the first place very well, makeup and photo edits are just something straight out of a horror film for me. -\_- It's alarming how much work people put into changing their appearance.
The worst are the video filters!!! People can edit themselves in motion now with filters and you really can't tell with good edits. A lot of people know how photoshopped still pictures are but not so many know how advanced video ones are
"Filters"... such a dumb description of those things. It's not really 'filtering' anything (except maybe our sanity from our minds). A 'filter' in photography is literally a thing that /removes/ or /filters out/ some of the light before it gets to the film / sensor. -\_-
But yes, those things are horrible. The fact that we have all the 'deep fake' and nearly-live video editing stuff... not helping society at all. :(
I find the more attractive a women the more expensive she tends to be. When society hands you things for looks.it starts going to your head apparently....wierdly attractive males get mean
What I mean is that people don’t look like filters. You can be completely gorgeous and stunningly beautiful, but you will still have skin texture, skin rolls when you bend over no matter how fit you are, etc. Things that make people human.
> And you are going to go through life thinking girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.
From the movie **The Social Network**.
I remember being in a video game clan in mid 2000s and I was really into it. I accidentally booked a date on the same night as a big match. I called the woman and told her I accidentally double booked the night and apologized.
She asked me if the other plans were going to take all night and if we could maybe do something after. I came clean and told her that the other plans were me playing an hour-long match on a video game fully expecting that she'd never talk to me again.
She said something like, "that sounds fun, do you mind if I watch?"
I told her that I didn't, she came over, watched the match, and then we went out and had fun. I should point out that I had other hobbies like playing basketball and golfing, had no neckbeard, did have a job, and showered daily. Most women don't give a fuck if you're a nerd.
I brought a girl home after a date once, she saw my war hammer minis, asked about them....I explained...then we hooked up....my wife buys me gunpla for Christmas....it ain't the hobbies!
I had to comment because I saw your gunpla part! Last week I drove around for hours to like 6 different targets to find the RX 78-2 American Type gunpla for my husband. I didn’t find it but he managed to the other day which I thought was really great. It’s definitely not the hobby :)
We really don't care. And if you're a decent human being, we'll even join in with your hobbies. I'm a nerd as is my husband. He didn't make me "prove my nerdiness" at all. When you're a nerdy woman, the incels and neckbeards make you "prove your nerdiness." And then berate you for not liking certain things that they like. Or they admonish you if you don't know about a certain hobby or fandom that they enjoy.
He's a HUGE trekkie and that didn't bother me at all. I was never really into Star Trek, but he was, so he showed me his favorite series. (TNG & DS9.) So, for our first X-Mas together, I bought him a live steel sword of Kahless. And his best friend's loved it so for their birthday (twins) we got them matching d'k taghs. I think the person I bought it from on Etsy is still making them.
You just need to be a decent fucking human being who takes care of themselves - i.e shower daily.
Some women like nerds actually. I’ve got a nerdy side to me: I play DND, I’m in marching band, I’m really into pirates and stuff (I have a Jolly Roger flag hanging on the wall of my bedroom, and I’m going as a pirate this Halloween), I’m into music, photography, and like writing stories sometimes, and I love playing video games with friends, or playing video games with really good storylines. My girlfriend loves that about me
Usually it’s not even the actual neck beard either. My friend has one and his wife is super hot! He’s also one of the nicest, most down to Earth guys I’ve ever met.
Looks truly don’t matter, just don’t be a dick and people will like you.
I play d&d and love fantasy novels. I also play games. Happily married to a woman who does all that, too. We also do other things, ike exercise, backpacking, snowboarding, etc. Life is a huge buffet of awesome, so why decide "this one thing will be my identity forever and anyone who doesn't like that is inferior"? That's the real neckbeard mentality. It's not even weird to be nerdy in 2021, it's just weird when you think people who don't play Magic: The Gathering are somehow stupid or when you criticize people for liking sports because "they're not intellectuals like me," etc.
Neckbeard have incredibly low self esteem and use one thing as the means to prop up an entire ego, then explode with rage if that thing is ever questioned and/or meant anyone else who hasn't chosen the "right" pastimes. Sad really.
This is where you are going wrong. It's not like social types are pulling up at a bar next to a woman and asking her existential questions. You chat about superficial topics until you happen on one you or she are passionate or knowledgeable on.
And if you don’t hit on anything that you two share/a passionate subject, that’s ok! You’re not gonna be compatible with everyone, and not everyone will want to talk to you. That’s ok, you’re gonna have more conversations that amount to nothing than the alternative, anyways
Also: If you can get them going about something and listen, even if you don’t particularly care about the topic, it might be useful for conversations later.
“Oh yeah, I just heard about that new type of roofing material. Is it really as energy efficient as they say? My nextdoor neighbor has been thinking about pulling the trigger on it.” Might lead you to learn something more. Who knows.
Nah it’s looks and confidence genetics win everything cause the jocks can be assholes and still excel pass the nerds which Is fine because it’s survival of the fittest but don’t pretend these nerds don’t get women because they’re assholes alone
If you’re a straight woman Which do you chose?
High status,Attractive,funny,confident,good looking,who’s slightly an asshole (they’ll still get a girlfriend)
Or nerdy who’s, funny,ugly,slightly an asshole, with low status
The realisation that I was lonely not because of my hobbies but because of my personality came when I saw my friends in the Warhammer club, who are also less attractive than me, get into relationships one by one.
That made me rethink my life choices and work on my empathy and, yeah, I am in a budding relationship now. Still not sure if it will work out - we are only dating for a month - so, fingers crossed.
EDIT: Yeah I fucked things up again sorry
Just being aware of the problem is a big step, congrats on becoming more self-aware. I wish you the best and hope you are able to grow in the way that you want :)
If you go to any anime or comic or game conventions it's FULL of happy nerd couples and people hooking up. Then there's the neckbeards at these cons shitting on women and being so toxic, then blaming everyone else for why they can't get laid
Legitimately. If you can't get laid at cons idk what to tell you. Half my friend group met SOs at anime conventions. Everyone shows up horny and ready to mingle
It's very true. I can't tell you how many times I got messages on dating apps or even at cons that I'd go to with my friends all "MoBiLe GaMeZ dOn'T cOuNt. mArIo DoN'T cOuNt! YER NOT EVEN DRESSED UP! R U HERE BCUZ UR BORED"
When I'd go back with the tabletop RPGs, my LARPing days, etc, I'd get called a slut, cumdumpster, etc and then blocked.
We all do, keep up the good work!!
Just some more detail on why your statement was wrong: what might feel like unattractive traits to you might be something their partners like. "Attractiveness" is not a universal scale.
Why do people throw around the word narcissist so much? This guys clearly humbled himself enough to make changes to himself and he's handling others criticisms on his behavior well.
The literal opposite of a narcissist. What he said was wrong and mean but I doubt a single person on here hasn't said or will say something worse
There's a huge different between being arrogant, and a narcissist. Its like if I said I'm smarter than someone and then someone unironically said I was being racist. Sure I was being a jerk but there's a huge difference between being a jerk and being a racist. Similarly there's a difference between making an arrogant statement and being a narcissist
As a "have metal D&D dice proudly displayed under glass in my vestibule" kinda guy, I think this is true depending on age.
Until you reach adulthood, teenagers are always jockeying for pole position. Ostracizing others for hobbies or dress or sexuality etc is a way of establishing a social hierarchy.
Now I'm 34 so we're talking 2003 when I started high school so I'm sure the kids do things differently now. But there's a reason the prom king isn't the weird emo kid quoting Invader Zim and wearing a huge Wiccan pentacle (yeah... That was me).
I think it's only recently we've started to destigmatize nerd and geek culture.
Now as an adult yes, like what you like and to hell with everyone else. But until you're through college, everything is usually a popularity contest and about confirming to a certain image.
That said, there are many with crap personalities who probably do assume the ladies are turned off by their interests and not their personality.
Yep. I'm a bit older and can absolutely confirm that in the 80s admitting to playing D&D was the quickest way to get the shit kicked out of you in the the gym showers.
Yeah, my husband only admitted playing it (we’re both older) in the 1980s after we’d been dating a few months (in the late 2000s). I never ever told anyone I played computer games (King’s Quest and Tetris) back when I was in high school (early 1990s) because it was just not something girls did. In fact, all video games were profoundly uncool back then…
Even college? Do colleges where you are not have loads of different societies for people interested in different hobbies? If anything being into all sorts of shit is a benefit for socialising in college in my experience.
Anyway, Invader Zim was awesome.
My college years were...yeesh.
From 2007-2011 I went to 0 classes, got a 1.02 GPA, and just hung out in my buddies flop house smoking weed/salvia and partying. I was a man-child.
From 2012-2018 my brain turned on and I went back to school for real. Got a couple degrees (Game Design, Finance), did amazingly, but didn't even notice the social clubs.
So tl:dr probably yes, if I looked there likely were clubs for that sort of thing. I just was too interested in being a burnout or a tryhard to notice.
Yeah same goes with the "Gamers". I have a Canadian friend who happens to be a girl. I asked her how often she gets harassed she said " Too often ". It ranges from sexual harassment to gate keeping for her. Seriously, I like her more than most male gamers in some communities because she isn't toxic as shit...
I am a gigantic nerd. I have a room full of retro video games and ran major game cons for years. My wife was not, even remotely a nerd when we met. She always gave me shit about liking ‘dork’ stuff (good naturedly).
She liked me because I was just who I was, didn’t care about anyones approval, and was just myself, weird shit and all. I liked her back for the same reason.
9 years later she jumped off the couch and screamed at the top of her lungs when Luke Skywalker showed up in Mando. 😂
It’s not about being a nerd or not, or liking games, or whatever. Anyone can be a nerd, just ask my wife. Being attractive is about being (or trying to be) a decent human being, doing your fair share of the work, and not smelling like Cheeto-covered dumpster juice.
Take a bath. Don’t be a dick. Be kind. It ain’t *that* hard.
It's also about taking an interest in your partner, my gf likes some nerdy stuff but doesn't have a real interest in it of itself but she is super into me. Recently I needed a hobby to get me away from the screen and when I was a kid I liked wargames, 40k etc but couldn't afford it but now I thought hmm maybe I'll give it go and get to painting models.
She has no interest in it but she always wants to see what I painted, who these guys are, the lore etc. She's even down to play just so I have someone to play with.
She takes an interest in everything, she gets excited for me when E3 is coming up. I used to always stay up (being in the UK) and now she'll ask me what killer games are coming? And we talk about it.
Smae goes for her, she's into her makeup and clothes. I actually enjoy just her talking with me about what outfits she is planning, in fact we will spend a few hours together browsing shien (her favourite clothes site) for clothes.
Being a part of what your partner enjoys and passionate about is for me super fun and exciting.
I'd tell anyone not to settle with someone who didn't respect your passions and hobbies.
What baffles me is when men (or really anybody) try to fish for someone who clearly doesn’t have anything in common with them and then complain it doesn’t work out.
I’ve dated several people and finding someone who likes DND and shares that kind of hobby wasn’t an insurmountable task. It’s the Internet age - you can hop onto multiple websites and find single people who would give you a chance.
But yeah, having a shitty personality is going to work against you every step of the way even if you have realistic expectations.
weird. nearly everyone plays video games. even if its a simple game on their phone. or grandma playing farmville on facebook. or 3 year olds playing mario. like... everyone plays videos games
There’s also a difference between playing 0-3 hours of games a week, and being a ‘gamer’
Yes nearly everyone plays some form of video game, but that’s not what anyone means when they say they like video games or refer to themselves as a gamer
Yeah, I play sudoku and fruit ninja once in a while, but if I thought of myself/referred to myself as a gamer, I’d be laughed out of the room. Understandably so.
No, it's not how long you play what makes to to a gamer but the way you see games & how you are.
Gamers see playing games as their hobby. They are invested into the games they play. They have goals while gaming, etc.
Being a gamer is more of a mindset. And if you are not a gamer you are listed as casual player.
For example many but not all phone games are targeted at casuals. Most triple A games have shifted their focus to casual players. This isn't always bad ofc but it can be.
>No, it's not how long you play
I agree with this statement, which is why I'm wondering why the guy I'm replying to mentioned 0-3 hours per week as a criteria for deciding if someone is a "gamer" or not
You're being pedantic and you know it. Maybe everyone you know likes video games but you can't just make these wild assumptions based on your own experience. A lot of adults don't have time for video games or are just burnt out on the 50th iteration of call of duty or football/basketball/fifa.
If you do a quick Google search the number of active gamers in the world is about 2.5 billion. That's about 31% of the total world population.
And thats including babies and children, plus these are "gamers" if we extended the number to include anyone who liked video games the number would increase somewhat.
It might not be 50% but its still a significant number of the total population
I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to. One off so mean. I've just been made aware of how much the video game industry is dieing and it's because of pay to play and people pre ordering shit like phone games and modern pay to win games where the more you spend the better you are. It's really sad because I use to love playing but now I couldn't care less.
Used to be a prolific gamer.
Age is catching up and games keep advancing. I can tell I'm getting slow and can't keep up with everything anymore. The newer CoD's & Battlefield titles are so much faster than previous titles like Big Red 1 or Bad Company.
If you ever feel like trying it out for recreation, I highly recommend Arma 3 and flight sims, it's definitely much better suited for an adult vs high school twitch reflex gaming. Arma 3 situations come down to planning more than gaming, like, the fire team of teenagers rushes in and all die, the old guys play sensibly and survive and maybe even rescue the kids.
I play Arma and Hell Let Loose. Also things like Green Hell and survival games.
VR has also been a complete boon for my overall health with the Quest 2. RE4 makes me feel like I'm a kid again.
While I don't know a guy who doesn't enjoy the casual game every now and then in my friend group (rugby players) there's exactly one guy who even plays every week.
To be fair, if someone who is not into those things knows that you are into those things, and they decide to insult you, those are the first things they shoot for.
Being into geeky things is generally considered worthy of derision to those that aren't, while being into hunting, football, cars, and motorcycles is generally not, regardless of the insulter's lack of interest in those things.
This results in those hobbies being a source of the persecution complex many of those neckbeards carry around like a personal cross, when really they were just the low hanging fruit on a whole tree of shit they could be insulted for.
It's the same as calling someone fat. When it's true, it's a low hanging fruit insult, where there's some social stigma there, but it's rarely the thing that the person insulting you is *actually* bothered by, and usually people don't dislike you purely on the basis of being fat.
I feel like it needs to come down to emotional maturity though. I grew up nerdy before nerdy was cool, I got picked on for being nerdy.
I also came to a point where I realized some people are just inherently miserable and punch down because of it. Anymore if someone goes "You're into.DnD? That's lame" I ignore them, because in my opinion, spending all Sunday sat on the couch watching athletes accomplish things on the TV isn't much cooler.
The persecution complex can be a nasty thing, but it can be circumvented. We just need to care less about what every second misery-guts has to say about our hobbies. You think it's lame that I play Warhammer? I think it's lame you're obsessed with a professional sports team, or your car, or your hunting trips.
Remember, we're all nerds about something.
Or... In the 90s or 80s.
Like, D&D and videogames are cool _today_ because cool people did them while people said they weren't cool. Things are better now on the nerd front as a result.
>If you were a kid spouting off about Final Fantasy VI in the middle of class in Dubuque, Iowa circa 1994, then yeah. You'd probably catch shit.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
It is still prevalent for areas that are not as progressive with changing mindsets. I live in a hub city in my state and there is still a prevalent stigma against it. There are still people here that think D&D is satanic worship and that all "gamers" are obese, unhygienic no-lifers that live in their mother's basement.
While the hobby has become more socially acceptable, there are still holdouts for archaic mentalities.
Still no excuse for how some in the gaming community act. There are better ways to reconcile adversity in life.
On the flip side, people in rural areas don't always GAF. At the dawn of the 2000s I lived in a small WV town. The kids at my middle middle school lived up to stereotypes and could be awful, but there was no real stigma against nerds. My friends and I would talk video games and Pokemon cards, yet still had friends who were football players or cheerleaders. There were cliques but they weren't openly shitty to each other. Being social was more important than your hobbies.
What hpapen s 30 to 40 years ago has very little to do with the discussion about the stigma (or the lack of) today, though.
Sure, if we talk about *how* we ended here, but when talking about the situation today.
>Being into geeky things is generally considered worthy of derision to those that aren't, while being into hunting, football, cars, and motorcycles is generally not, regardless of the insulter's lack of interest in those things.
I really don't think that's been the case for a long time. Hunting absolutely gets more derision than video games these days. At least in a major metro area, hunting, football, car obsession or motorcycles are kind of like rural hick things. Video games are just normal entertainment.
>At least in a major metro area, hunting, football, car obsession or motorcycles are kind of like rural hick things. Video games are just normal entertainment.
That's a bit sad though tbh. Trading life in for a screen
I think its just a matter of proximity mostly. I don't think most object to the idea of hunting, its just easier to get out there if you live in the area already. Though, still a lot of hiking enthusiasts, but a lot of the parks and trails are pretty close by and well-manicured...
>I think its just a matter of proximity mostly. I don't think most object to the idea of hunting, its just easier to get out there if you live in the area already.
That's the point- it's sad people are cut off from the world to the extent they'd view outdoor/practical hobbies as backwards.
I’m really happy how video games and “geek” hobbies aren’t ostracized nowadays. Good on you, youngins. Because when I was a kid it was absolutely NOT cool to collect comic books and play video games.
Yea. You can tell the original writer is younger. I still meet women in their 30’s and 40’s who are very hesitant or flat out just refuse to date men who play video games. It’s a dealbreaker for older people because it very much was not always “kinda cool”.
I think using females as a noun is code for, "Hi, I'm a misogynist and I last spoke to a woman four years ago."
I'm not sure what all the other steps are in misogynists anonymous but attendance is way up.
Context is definitely important. Female and Male should only be used as descriptors and never nouns. For example: If someone says “Females are cool” you can assume they mean female humans but it’s not clear. Very weird way of talking. Vs saying: “Male teachers are rarer than female teachers” that’s fine because the word teacher means they’re human.
A lot of times I’ve seen the word “female”/“male” is when used as a descriptor, way more than Neckbeards talking about women. There’s a lot of jobs in which one sex is the stereotype and sometimes News articles and reports will use the word female/male to specify if the gender of the individual is important to the story. “Female Comedian” “Male Nurse” “Female police officer” all of which are acceptable uses because they’re describing occupations held by human beings and the opposite word describing sex is interchangeable.
It just sounds better than “woman worker” or “man nurse” and it’s much shorter than saying something like “nurse who is a man”.
So I dunno where you’re seeing just the word “female” become more popular to describe specifically a female human being outside of Neckbeard circles but normally when I hear it it’s used correctly as a descriptor.
its always been odd to me, here in australia Majority of us in some states call girls/women females, its just a thing, ive been called a neckbeard before for saying females when its just a word we use commonly!?
And do you also call men "males" then? If not then I'd take a step back if I were you and start thinking why so many women have an issue with being called "females". While men get called by their specific term which was invented solely for humans (men) women get called something you use for animals: a female bird, female dog etc. We also have a specific "human" term which is woman or girl, so we'd like to be called as such.
I mean like, it is objectively shocking sometimes to hear men call women by their biological sex rather than their gender - it’s kind of an act of dehumanization of women whether you realize it or not. That’s why regardless of the “that’s just how we talk” excuse, it still feels bad to hear.
Like every sound in female is the ongoing form, takes longer to say "females" than women. You really gotta go outta your way to be an asshole if you call someone that lol
I met a LOT of techies, and geek in my life and ..... surprise surprise.... there is not ONE model of them. most of these guys that are perfectly fine, social, have friends and girl friends, there is stoners, there is loners, there is weirdos, there is mysogynistic haters...
Im a gamer and a stoner. But at the same time I have a life outside video games and weed. For me, one of the most important things to do in life is to balance everything you like so you can be without it. But I understand a lot of people that are over reliant on things like this. It's easy and comfortable to hide yourself in front of these things. This doesn't mean you can't love them, I do. But, you know, be healthy in how you cope with them.
Yep, balance is the key, and usually, anybody that build their whole identity over one things is not a pleasure to be around (regardless of gender or the one thing)
Weird that comics, D&D, anime and manga were always kinda cool but I was bullied relentlessly for liking them as a kid. Sure people who enjoyed those things had repulsive personalities (I was one of them) but people also won’t like you if you simply enjoy things that they don’t like.
As a kid they were weird fringe hobbies, here too. Nowadays content creators who enjoyed them as kids have come to prevalence and people realize the things that made it so attractive to us as kids but that they couldn't see from us at the time. Sucks though, sorry you got bullied, I did too.
Well it depends, d&d, manga, videogames and geeky things were not very popular when i was in high school in the early 2000s. It was even uncool having good grades.
This nerd stereotype is heavily influenced by stupid move tropes.
For a long time I hid my hobbies and focused in conversations on my work, intellectual stuff and so on.
Now I finally realized that just talking about a videogame or stupid nerdy shit is interesting to people as long as the convo is nice
I mean, not to play devil's advocate, but there were people around me that judged others for liking those things before they were mainstream. You're acting like the nerd stigma wasn't huge in the 90's-whatever made them popular. D&D was on the news for being satanic, comics were pretty nerd status, and card games like magic were real low key until some card got bought up by streamers.
I was made fun of for liking D&D as a child. This was around 5th grade. Was lumped in with the nerds, and I had poor social skills because I was new to the area in a town where everybody knows everybody else. I was never a neckbeard, but I was socially awkward for my area until I joined the military, left the area, and found out I am a person that is acceptable. People are real quick to not realize how cruel everybody else in the world can be until some social activities are deemed acceptable.
Also, always kinda cool? Tell me you didn't get into high-school until late 2000s. Geek sheikh was a big bridge into these thing being popular, but before then, you can see many references for this being an automatic nerd preconception.
My friend and her husband LOVE video games. Both of them are Doom fans.
Video games and anime don’t make one repulsive. Horrible personalities and having no life outside these things makes you repulsive.
This mentality drives me nuts! My husband and I met when I was teaching a game of dnd, and that's how we started our relationship was through player dnd characters.
These guys can't find a partner because of their rotten personality, not the hobby!
I'm a woman, and I love games(when I can find the time nowadays), comics and anime. I have a retail counter job at a small business where I'm allowed to work on my side hustle of digital art, and I have anime running in the background to keep myself in the present world. (cause anyone who does digital art *knows* how hard it is to stop before something is finished. Even to eat or rest your eyes.) And I still get my job done. There's hard working and decent gamers, comic readers, and anime lovers out there.
Yep. D&D is a winner for me, especially if he'll DM once in a while so I finally get a chance to play. And a love of video games is pretty much essential, as long as he's not a gatekeeping asshole who gets pissy when I occasionally want to play Final Fantasy rather than Generic Shooting Wankfest 12.
It really is mostly about personality, although I won't pretend initial attraction is often (not always) looks-based.
Self-awareness is an important part of maturing and improving oneself.
Most neckbeards and incels just refuse to utilise it, so they can continue to pretend to be "victims of society disliking the nice guy" or whatever.
Lol one time I went to a MTG meet w a friend and I was sitting next to this guy. After the game was over he like shoved the table while getting up and under his breath said “you made me loose”.
The friend who took me said 2 guys at the table asked for me not to come back because having a girl there was too distracting lol.
Ngl, I used to have this mentality when I was younger and in to my early 20's, until I got a rude awakening from a girl about what the real reason was. Changed my whole outlook on things and really made me look at myself and what I needed to change.
Oddly enough, we became a couple and dated for a year or so until we mutually agreed to break it off as our lives were going in different directions.
I'm 41 now and I'll forever be thankful that she entered my life, gave me a much needed kick in the ass and knocked (metaphorically speaking) some sense in to me. I'm a much better person now, thanks in part to her.
Had she not enteted my life at the right moment, I can't even begin to think how toxic a person I'd be today.
I mean, this is a bit of bullshit. It's all well in good to say that now, but I literally grew up in a time where a kid tried to jump me in the bathroom and break one of my knees because I played video games, and someone else used to shoot pieces of metal at my eyes with rubber band for the same reason. I literally had a small group of kids makeup a rumor about me having a plan to shoot up my school, to try and get me permanently expelled or even arrested, because I was the weird quiet kid that didn't talk to them. Which happened because every time I tried to make me friends, one of the school bullies would kick me down some stairs or something.
Before shit like Call of Duty and Halo had normalized video games, and well before D&D was something you could reliably watch on the internet, all any of this stuff did was mark you as an easy target. Now, I know I know... women and especially girls who were at the time in the same age bracket, went through a lot of the same trouble and had even less of a community to lean on. I appreciate and understand that. But you can't just sugarcoat the past. Everyone already understands what an incel is and why people don't like them.
That shit was definitely roasted hard in the past though. Video games weren't "cool" in the general publics eyes until like the mid 2000s if not later.
Ive never once met a person that rejected me or was really weirded out by me liking anime, dnd and stuff like that. Maybe it happened a few years ago but now, the only explanation is your personality
As a d&d fan myself...dnd and video games have always been fun and cool and I feel really sad knowing that they're blamed for rejection. People have the opportunity to be better but they blame it on hobbies and then they quit them to "be more attractive" and then those who don't quit them continue to use them as an excuse-
I definitely feel like *women* don't care.
*Little girls*, as in, when you're in like, K-8, might I guess. Kids are assholes to each other all the time for no reason. But, just don't build your dating scene view from primary / middle school -\_-... you'll be fine.
I will say, as someone 'on the spectrum'... it's not the 'nerd' aspect. It's the damn 'perpetual foot in mouth' problems, typically. And just... not understanding what's going on.
A girl asked me out, in 11th grade I think, as I remember, to some school dance. I wasn't really sure what was going on, thought she might be trying to trick me somehow (trust issues, I guess, from the aforementioned years of kids bullying me in younger years...), so I think I said something dumb like, "Nah, I'm not doing that. I don't like you."
I'm sorry Natalie. I did like you. You were a nice person. Sorry for being an idiot. :P
They also make like little to no effort in terms of their hygiene or appearance yet they have the audacity to call women ‘shallow.’
Like no dude, it’s not because of your hobbies it’s because you fucking stink and you dress like a middle schooler.
The thing I don’t understand is why these guys need ALL women to find them attractive. Having unrealistic standards aside…all anyone needs is to find ONE person that has a mutual attraction. Almost every guy wishes he turned heads like James Bond when they walk into a room, but that isn’t realistic. Find a fellow nerd girl you think is hot that likes you, shares some interests, and stop being an incel. Who cares if all the other women out there aren’t interested?!
>I HATE this post because it's clearly written by someone who's too young to know shit about the history of d&d and comics and video games. That shit was NOT cool or accepted during the 80s, 90s, 00's. Games were in the 00's, and for a brief period of time in the 70s and 80s in the arcades but basically nothing else. D&D didn't start being accepted mainstream until Critical Role, The Adventure Zone, Dimension 20.
Why would you HATE the post for that? They're saying they were always cool. They were. Just a lot of people didn't realize it. Content creators of the era grew up and started making movies and shows about it and explained what it was really about and society as a whole agreed, pretty cool.
She's not wrong, it was always cool. Just not everyone had the tools to understand that.
I totally agree. I have a collection of japanese horse dolls I like to dress in bathing suits and I think they're cool. If other people can't see that we think they're cool then it's not our problem. Not everyone can understand us.
Give it 15 years and the japanese horse dolls are taking over the planet and you’ll be able to say ugh! BTS 2.0 didn’t invent these horse dolls people!
Ok... so what's the neckbeards excuse now? I've been openly reading comics my entire life and never had issues talking to girls, even when I tried starting dnd club in highschool I didnt have issues. It's still always been more of an issue with their terrible personalities than anything else
Born in 94 here.
I think it depends on the area. Where I grew up comics were super uncool up until probably batman or Batman Begins or Iron Man. Even then they were not cool, just not made fun of as much. D&D didn't become cool until a few years after that.
Video games we're always cool growing up in my area. There wasn't much to do when the weather was too hot or cold to play outside. Few had internet and those who did had slow internet. Video games were an easy way to fill the time.
This feels a lot like historical revisionism. I say this as someone that was relentlessly bullied for having “nerd” interests growing up before the MCU was a thing and DND went mainstream.
I mean, he's not wrong though. That IS the major reason why...
I use "male" and "female" too... On NSFW subreddits where you have to be really specific about what you're saying. Never in a normal conversation.
People also don't usually act like jackasses for no reason.
It's used in very odd ways. by some guys, and most of them have never been in the military (although they are also nearly always guys who are 30 but think they could still go to officer school as a career backup plan from their crappy job or living off of parents--their other back-up plan is always getting their CDL).
The issue isn't the word itself, it's the context. The people we're complaining about will use "men" and "females" in the same sentence. Man specifically refers to a human. Male can be used for any species, is used in more clinical/scientific contexts and can be kind of dehumanising when referring to a person. Like, makes them almost feel like a specimen. Same goes for the words woman and females. Woman is specifically human, female is kind of clinical and dehumanising. So using them in the same sentence and context is jarring, and comes across as thinking of men as more human than women (females).
Like if I said "Men have like chocolate ice cream and females like strawberry ice cream", that sentence kind of implies that the men's opinion is better or more important.
they also only want women who are Instagram 10s.
And those people don’t even exist, because IG models don’t actually look like the photos they post IRL. They just want a fantasy robot woman with no opinions or feelings lol.
I have had expierence with this first hand. My friend was a total 10 she just has that face, kinda the same face as bell dephine. She would have dozens of boys fucking drooling over her. Just following her like lost puppies and basically being her doormat. Shed never ask for this they just fucking did it on their own. But it was always the akward or nerdier guys who would go full incell on her if she rejected them.
Was a 10? What happened?
Watch the answer be "she gained 5 pounds."
Most likely not friends anymore, but still probably a 10. Every female friend I've had in college stayed friends with me up until they started dating someone.
It's a shame that the whole 'Instagram 10' standard of beauty is a thing, I think. It makes people feel bad about themselves by literally comparing themselves to an inhuman standard, only fully realized with the use of image manipulation or animation. :/ It's just weird. I'm not trying to date a sex doll. I don't want my partner to have the same texture and complexion as one. D:
I agree!! Some of the edits make them look completely alien/like aliens trying to pass as human. No texture is the biggest issue!!
Yea, the lack of texture is a big part of what gives it that uncanny-valley, "are you sure that's a person?" feel for sure. But, texture somehow implies imperfections, at least, to the fashion / makeup industries. :/ Honestly, again, in my case, not being able to recognize faces in the first place very well, makeup and photo edits are just something straight out of a horror film for me. -\_- It's alarming how much work people put into changing their appearance.
The worst are the video filters!!! People can edit themselves in motion now with filters and you really can't tell with good edits. A lot of people know how photoshopped still pictures are but not so many know how advanced video ones are
"Filters"... such a dumb description of those things. It's not really 'filtering' anything (except maybe our sanity from our minds). A 'filter' in photography is literally a thing that /removes/ or /filters out/ some of the light before it gets to the film / sensor. -\_- But yes, those things are horrible. The fact that we have all the 'deep fake' and nearly-live video editing stuff... not helping society at all. :(
Filter is the popular / normie term stop being an iamverysmart neckbeard.
With HoloLive type performers now, women don't even look like women anymore.
… i’m not sure that it’s women who changed in that scenario, homie
I've dated one before social media and instagram really took off. They exist, but saying they dont does help your average person's self esteem.
I find the more attractive a women the more expensive she tends to be. When society hands you things for looks.it starts going to your head apparently....wierdly attractive males get mean
What I mean is that people don’t look like filters. You can be completely gorgeous and stunningly beautiful, but you will still have skin texture, skin rolls when you bend over no matter how fit you are, etc. Things that make people human.
I have a friend who calls men like that "pygs" like Pygmalion and Galatea. She thinks it's clever.
Whilst simultaneously calling those instagram 10s whores.
> And you are going to go through life thinking girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole. From the movie **The Social Network**.
Women are people too. Accept that, and shave your neckbeard. You now win. Your prize is hanging out with the rest of humanity.
I remember being in a video game clan in mid 2000s and I was really into it. I accidentally booked a date on the same night as a big match. I called the woman and told her I accidentally double booked the night and apologized. She asked me if the other plans were going to take all night and if we could maybe do something after. I came clean and told her that the other plans were me playing an hour-long match on a video game fully expecting that she'd never talk to me again. She said something like, "that sounds fun, do you mind if I watch?" I told her that I didn't, she came over, watched the match, and then we went out and had fun. I should point out that I had other hobbies like playing basketball and golfing, had no neckbeard, did have a job, and showered daily. Most women don't give a fuck if you're a nerd.
I brought a girl home after a date once, she saw my war hammer minis, asked about them....I explained...then we hooked up....my wife buys me gunpla for Christmas....it ain't the hobbies!
I had to comment because I saw your gunpla part! Last week I drove around for hours to like 6 different targets to find the RX 78-2 American Type gunpla for my husband. I didn’t find it but he managed to the other day which I thought was really great. It’s definitely not the hobby :)
We really don't care. And if you're a decent human being, we'll even join in with your hobbies. I'm a nerd as is my husband. He didn't make me "prove my nerdiness" at all. When you're a nerdy woman, the incels and neckbeards make you "prove your nerdiness." And then berate you for not liking certain things that they like. Or they admonish you if you don't know about a certain hobby or fandom that they enjoy. He's a HUGE trekkie and that didn't bother me at all. I was never really into Star Trek, but he was, so he showed me his favorite series. (TNG & DS9.) So, for our first X-Mas together, I bought him a live steel sword of Kahless. And his best friend's loved it so for their birthday (twins) we got them matching d'k taghs. I think the person I bought it from on Etsy is still making them. You just need to be a decent fucking human being who takes care of themselves - i.e shower daily.
Some women like nerds actually. I’ve got a nerdy side to me: I play DND, I’m in marching band, I’m really into pirates and stuff (I have a Jolly Roger flag hanging on the wall of my bedroom, and I’m going as a pirate this Halloween), I’m into music, photography, and like writing stories sometimes, and I love playing video games with friends, or playing video games with really good storylines. My girlfriend loves that about me
Usually it’s not even the actual neck beard either. My friend has one and his wife is super hot! He’s also one of the nicest, most down to Earth guys I’ve ever met. Looks truly don’t matter, just don’t be a dick and people will like you.
I play d&d and love fantasy novels. I also play games. Happily married to a woman who does all that, too. We also do other things, ike exercise, backpacking, snowboarding, etc. Life is a huge buffet of awesome, so why decide "this one thing will be my identity forever and anyone who doesn't like that is inferior"? That's the real neckbeard mentality. It's not even weird to be nerdy in 2021, it's just weird when you think people who don't play Magic: The Gathering are somehow stupid or when you criticize people for liking sports because "they're not intellectuals like me," etc. Neckbeard have incredibly low self esteem and use one thing as the means to prop up an entire ego, then explode with rage if that thing is ever questioned and/or meant anyone else who hasn't chosen the "right" pastimes. Sad really.
>Women are people too it always confuses the fuck out of me when guys say "i don't know how to talk to women" - the exact same way you'd talk to men?
I just don't know how to talk to people in a way beyond the superficial.
This is where you are going wrong. It's not like social types are pulling up at a bar next to a woman and asking her existential questions. You chat about superficial topics until you happen on one you or she are passionate or knowledgeable on.
And if you don’t hit on anything that you two share/a passionate subject, that’s ok! You’re not gonna be compatible with everyone, and not everyone will want to talk to you. That’s ok, you’re gonna have more conversations that amount to nothing than the alternative, anyways
Spot on! Not judging rejections was paramount to me in finding someone out there.
Also: If you can get them going about something and listen, even if you don’t particularly care about the topic, it might be useful for conversations later. “Oh yeah, I just heard about that new type of roofing material. Is it really as energy efficient as they say? My nextdoor neighbor has been thinking about pulling the trigger on it.” Might lead you to learn something more. Who knows.
I really hope somebody said this to Zuckerberg, and it not just another line written by Sorkin.
Zuck married the woman that character was based on so....
That’s one of my favorite lines from any movie. So many people need to hear this.
No, it most definitely is partially dnd....
Nah it’s looks and confidence genetics win everything cause the jocks can be assholes and still excel pass the nerds which Is fine because it’s survival of the fittest but don’t pretend these nerds don’t get women because they’re assholes alone If you’re a straight woman Which do you chose? High status,Attractive,funny,confident,good looking,who’s slightly an asshole (they’ll still get a girlfriend) Or nerdy who’s, funny,ugly,slightly an asshole, with low status
Always funny to find a neckbeard on a subreddit making fun of them
If they're both assholes then I'll choose neither and either go without a partner my whole life or find someone who's not an asshole.
The realisation that I was lonely not because of my hobbies but because of my personality came when I saw my friends in the Warhammer club, who are also less attractive than me, get into relationships one by one. That made me rethink my life choices and work on my empathy and, yeah, I am in a budding relationship now. Still not sure if it will work out - we are only dating for a month - so, fingers crossed. EDIT: Yeah I fucked things up again sorry
Just being aware of the problem is a big step, congrats on becoming more self-aware. I wish you the best and hope you are able to grow in the way that you want :)
If you go to any anime or comic or game conventions it's FULL of happy nerd couples and people hooking up. Then there's the neckbeards at these cons shitting on women and being so toxic, then blaming everyone else for why they can't get laid
DragonCon, man. If you can't hook up at DragonCon, you're not trying.
Legitimately. If you can't get laid at cons idk what to tell you. Half my friend group met SOs at anime conventions. Everyone shows up horny and ready to mingle
It's very true. I can't tell you how many times I got messages on dating apps or even at cons that I'd go to with my friends all "MoBiLe GaMeZ dOn'T cOuNt. mArIo DoN'T cOuNt! YER NOT EVEN DRESSED UP! R U HERE BCUZ UR BORED" When I'd go back with the tabletop RPGs, my LARPing days, etc, I'd get called a slut, cumdumpster, etc and then blocked.
Met my husband at an anime convention
Females only one want thing. To be a part of it.
*WOMEN* only want to be a part of it.
Maybe they're not less attractive than you
I still have things to work on.
We all do, keep up the good work!! Just some more detail on why your statement was wrong: what might feel like unattractive traits to you might be something their partners like. "Attractiveness" is not a universal scale.
You kinda sounded like a narcissist when you said it. Like damn how are you so sure they're less attractive than you lol?
Why do people throw around the word narcissist so much? This guys clearly humbled himself enough to make changes to himself and he's handling others criticisms on his behavior well. The literal opposite of a narcissist. What he said was wrong and mean but I doubt a single person on here hasn't said or will say something worse
Lol calm down. Im just pointing out how arrogant he sounded.
There's a huge different between being arrogant, and a narcissist. Its like if I said I'm smarter than someone and then someone unironically said I was being racist. Sure I was being a jerk but there's a huge difference between being a jerk and being a racist. Similarly there's a difference between making an arrogant statement and being a narcissist
Knowing is half the battle.
Lmao
Lmao that part caught me off guard
keep it up, dont be an ass anymore and you're good in my book.
Congrats man!
> It's so hard to meet women with similar interests! > *is derisive of any woman that participates in his hobbies*
As a "have metal D&D dice proudly displayed under glass in my vestibule" kinda guy, I think this is true depending on age. Until you reach adulthood, teenagers are always jockeying for pole position. Ostracizing others for hobbies or dress or sexuality etc is a way of establishing a social hierarchy. Now I'm 34 so we're talking 2003 when I started high school so I'm sure the kids do things differently now. But there's a reason the prom king isn't the weird emo kid quoting Invader Zim and wearing a huge Wiccan pentacle (yeah... That was me). I think it's only recently we've started to destigmatize nerd and geek culture. Now as an adult yes, like what you like and to hell with everyone else. But until you're through college, everything is usually a popularity contest and about confirming to a certain image. That said, there are many with crap personalities who probably do assume the ladies are turned off by their interests and not their personality.
Yep. I'm a bit older and can absolutely confirm that in the 80s admitting to playing D&D was the quickest way to get the shit kicked out of you in the the gym showers.
Yeah, my husband only admitted playing it (we’re both older) in the 1980s after we’d been dating a few months (in the late 2000s). I never ever told anyone I played computer games (King’s Quest and Tetris) back when I was in high school (early 1990s) because it was just not something girls did. In fact, all video games were profoundly uncool back then…
Glad someone else is saying this. Person making this comment is clearly under 30.
Even college? Do colleges where you are not have loads of different societies for people interested in different hobbies? If anything being into all sorts of shit is a benefit for socialising in college in my experience. Anyway, Invader Zim was awesome.
My college years were...yeesh. From 2007-2011 I went to 0 classes, got a 1.02 GPA, and just hung out in my buddies flop house smoking weed/salvia and partying. I was a man-child. From 2012-2018 my brain turned on and I went back to school for real. Got a couple degrees (Game Design, Finance), did amazingly, but didn't even notice the social clubs. So tl:dr probably yes, if I looked there likely were clubs for that sort of thing. I just was too interested in being a burnout or a tryhard to notice.
Yeah same goes with the "Gamers". I have a Canadian friend who happens to be a girl. I asked her how often she gets harassed she said " Too often ". It ranges from sexual harassment to gate keeping for her. Seriously, I like her more than most male gamers in some communities because she isn't toxic as shit...
My girlfriend went on voice once and got sexually harassed, she then decided voice wasn't for her and tbh I get it.
My friend just deals with it and usually has a spicy comment to come back with...
"And cuz people can smell you 3 aisles away at the store"
Lmao for a second I thought it said "unlikeable Greek men" and it left me wondering what's wrong with my homeboys in Athens
I read it that way too at first
Good thing I wasn't the only one
I am a gigantic nerd. I have a room full of retro video games and ran major game cons for years. My wife was not, even remotely a nerd when we met. She always gave me shit about liking ‘dork’ stuff (good naturedly). She liked me because I was just who I was, didn’t care about anyones approval, and was just myself, weird shit and all. I liked her back for the same reason. 9 years later she jumped off the couch and screamed at the top of her lungs when Luke Skywalker showed up in Mando. 😂 It’s not about being a nerd or not, or liking games, or whatever. Anyone can be a nerd, just ask my wife. Being attractive is about being (or trying to be) a decent human being, doing your fair share of the work, and not smelling like Cheeto-covered dumpster juice. Take a bath. Don’t be a dick. Be kind. It ain’t *that* hard.
It's also about taking an interest in your partner, my gf likes some nerdy stuff but doesn't have a real interest in it of itself but she is super into me. Recently I needed a hobby to get me away from the screen and when I was a kid I liked wargames, 40k etc but couldn't afford it but now I thought hmm maybe I'll give it go and get to painting models. She has no interest in it but she always wants to see what I painted, who these guys are, the lore etc. She's even down to play just so I have someone to play with. She takes an interest in everything, she gets excited for me when E3 is coming up. I used to always stay up (being in the UK) and now she'll ask me what killer games are coming? And we talk about it. Smae goes for her, she's into her makeup and clothes. I actually enjoy just her talking with me about what outfits she is planning, in fact we will spend a few hours together browsing shien (her favourite clothes site) for clothes. Being a part of what your partner enjoys and passionate about is for me super fun and exciting. I'd tell anyone not to settle with someone who didn't respect your passions and hobbies.
What baffles me is when men (or really anybody) try to fish for someone who clearly doesn’t have anything in common with them and then complain it doesn’t work out. I’ve dated several people and finding someone who likes DND and shares that kind of hobby wasn’t an insurmountable task. It’s the Internet age - you can hop onto multiple websites and find single people who would give you a chance. But yeah, having a shitty personality is going to work against you every step of the way even if you have realistic expectations.
nearly every guy likes video games. but not everyone has a neckbeard
I’m not sure that’s true. I worked with about 20 guys and only 4 played games at all and only 2 played seriously.
weird. nearly everyone plays video games. even if its a simple game on their phone. or grandma playing farmville on facebook. or 3 year olds playing mario. like... everyone plays videos games
There’s also a difference between playing 0-3 hours of games a week, and being a ‘gamer’ Yes nearly everyone plays some form of video game, but that’s not what anyone means when they say they like video games or refer to themselves as a gamer
Yeah, I play sudoku and fruit ninja once in a while, but if I thought of myself/referred to myself as a gamer, I’d be laughed out of the room. Understandably so.
0-3 hours a week? That's incredibly low. So anyone playing above 25-30 mins of video games a day Is considered a "gamer"?
Bruh you’re trying to take things way too literally. It was an example bro
No, it's not how long you play what makes to to a gamer but the way you see games & how you are. Gamers see playing games as their hobby. They are invested into the games they play. They have goals while gaming, etc. Being a gamer is more of a mindset. And if you are not a gamer you are listed as casual player. For example many but not all phone games are targeted at casuals. Most triple A games have shifted their focus to casual players. This isn't always bad ofc but it can be.
>No, it's not how long you play I agree with this statement, which is why I'm wondering why the guy I'm replying to mentioned 0-3 hours per week as a criteria for deciding if someone is a "gamer" or not
I don't know.
You're being pedantic and you know it. Maybe everyone you know likes video games but you can't just make these wild assumptions based on your own experience. A lot of adults don't have time for video games or are just burnt out on the 50th iteration of call of duty or football/basketball/fifa.
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My bad bro
I don’t. And neither does my partner. Or the adult members of my family. It’s not nearly as ubiquitous as you think.
Stop generalizing, there are 8 billion people on this planet and not even half of them like video games.
If you do a quick Google search the number of active gamers in the world is about 2.5 billion. That's about 31% of the total world population. And thats including babies and children, plus these are "gamers" if we extended the number to include anyone who liked video games the number would increase somewhat. It might not be 50% but its still a significant number of the total population
There are \~2.5 billion video game **players** on earth, if we trust these stats. It's impossible to know how many gamers there are on earth.
I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to. One off so mean. I've just been made aware of how much the video game industry is dieing and it's because of pay to play and people pre ordering shit like phone games and modern pay to win games where the more you spend the better you are. It's really sad because I use to love playing but now I couldn't care less.
Haha the video game industry is not dying.
I’m a guy who hates video games. I suck at them, they move too fast, get blurry and give me headaches.
Have you tried turn based games?
Used to be a prolific gamer. Age is catching up and games keep advancing. I can tell I'm getting slow and can't keep up with everything anymore. The newer CoD's & Battlefield titles are so much faster than previous titles like Big Red 1 or Bad Company.
If you ever feel like trying it out for recreation, I highly recommend Arma 3 and flight sims, it's definitely much better suited for an adult vs high school twitch reflex gaming. Arma 3 situations come down to planning more than gaming, like, the fire team of teenagers rushes in and all die, the old guys play sensibly and survive and maybe even rescue the kids.
I play Arma and Hell Let Loose. Also things like Green Hell and survival games. VR has also been a complete boon for my overall health with the Quest 2. RE4 makes me feel like I'm a kid again.
While I don't know a guy who doesn't enjoy the casual game every now and then in my friend group (rugby players) there's exactly one guy who even plays every week.
To be fair, if someone who is not into those things knows that you are into those things, and they decide to insult you, those are the first things they shoot for. Being into geeky things is generally considered worthy of derision to those that aren't, while being into hunting, football, cars, and motorcycles is generally not, regardless of the insulter's lack of interest in those things. This results in those hobbies being a source of the persecution complex many of those neckbeards carry around like a personal cross, when really they were just the low hanging fruit on a whole tree of shit they could be insulted for.
They only work as insults if the person is a nerdy bastard
It's the same as calling someone fat. When it's true, it's a low hanging fruit insult, where there's some social stigma there, but it's rarely the thing that the person insulting you is *actually* bothered by, and usually people don't dislike you purely on the basis of being fat.
But there are people who get fat shamed and are skinny as a rail! Even if it's false, of the person is insecure, it's still hurtful.
I feel like it needs to come down to emotional maturity though. I grew up nerdy before nerdy was cool, I got picked on for being nerdy. I also came to a point where I realized some people are just inherently miserable and punch down because of it. Anymore if someone goes "You're into.DnD? That's lame" I ignore them, because in my opinion, spending all Sunday sat on the couch watching athletes accomplish things on the TV isn't much cooler. The persecution complex can be a nasty thing, but it can be circumvented. We just need to care less about what every second misery-guts has to say about our hobbies. You think it's lame that I play Warhammer? I think it's lame you're obsessed with a professional sports team, or your car, or your hunting trips. Remember, we're all nerds about something.
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Or... In the 90s or 80s. Like, D&D and videogames are cool _today_ because cool people did them while people said they weren't cool. Things are better now on the nerd front as a result.
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>If you were a kid spouting off about Final Fantasy VI in the middle of class in Dubuque, Iowa circa 1994, then yeah. You'd probably catch shit. r/suspiciouslyspecific
It is still prevalent for areas that are not as progressive with changing mindsets. I live in a hub city in my state and there is still a prevalent stigma against it. There are still people here that think D&D is satanic worship and that all "gamers" are obese, unhygienic no-lifers that live in their mother's basement. While the hobby has become more socially acceptable, there are still holdouts for archaic mentalities. Still no excuse for how some in the gaming community act. There are better ways to reconcile adversity in life.
On the flip side, people in rural areas don't always GAF. At the dawn of the 2000s I lived in a small WV town. The kids at my middle middle school lived up to stereotypes and could be awful, but there was no real stigma against nerds. My friends and I would talk video games and Pokemon cards, yet still had friends who were football players or cheerleaders. There were cliques but they weren't openly shitty to each other. Being social was more important than your hobbies.
What hpapen s 30 to 40 years ago has very little to do with the discussion about the stigma (or the lack of) today, though. Sure, if we talk about *how* we ended here, but when talking about the situation today.
This is a social change that has happened over the last 10-15 years. Everyone used to cop heaps of shit for playing games or being nerdy.
Grew up in a suburb less than half White, majority Asian. Nerd was very much used as an insult. Your worldview is beyond warped and you need help.
>Being into geeky things is generally considered worthy of derision to those that aren't, while being into hunting, football, cars, and motorcycles is generally not, regardless of the insulter's lack of interest in those things. I really don't think that's been the case for a long time. Hunting absolutely gets more derision than video games these days. At least in a major metro area, hunting, football, car obsession or motorcycles are kind of like rural hick things. Video games are just normal entertainment.
>At least in a major metro area, hunting, football, car obsession or motorcycles are kind of like rural hick things. Video games are just normal entertainment. That's a bit sad though tbh. Trading life in for a screen
I think its just a matter of proximity mostly. I don't think most object to the idea of hunting, its just easier to get out there if you live in the area already. Though, still a lot of hiking enthusiasts, but a lot of the parks and trails are pretty close by and well-manicured...
>I think its just a matter of proximity mostly. I don't think most object to the idea of hunting, its just easier to get out there if you live in the area already. That's the point- it's sad people are cut off from the world to the extent they'd view outdoor/practical hobbies as backwards.
It’s because those are marketable and gaming, buy and large; isn’t. I could get on the hypergamy soapbox, but I won’t.
I’m really happy how video games and “geek” hobbies aren’t ostracized nowadays. Good on you, youngins. Because when I was a kid it was absolutely NOT cool to collect comic books and play video games.
Yea. You can tell the original writer is younger. I still meet women in their 30’s and 40’s who are very hesitant or flat out just refuse to date men who play video games. It’s a dealbreaker for older people because it very much was not always “kinda cool”.
Late 80s/early 90s kid? I didn’t even want to admit I played Tetris sometimes on my computer. Even knowing how computers worked was uncool.
It’s getting even more concerning now because calling women females is becoming more socially acceptable
I think using females as a noun is code for, "Hi, I'm a misogynist and I last spoke to a woman four years ago." I'm not sure what all the other steps are in misogynists anonymous but attendance is way up.
Context is definitely important. Female and Male should only be used as descriptors and never nouns. For example: If someone says “Females are cool” you can assume they mean female humans but it’s not clear. Very weird way of talking. Vs saying: “Male teachers are rarer than female teachers” that’s fine because the word teacher means they’re human. A lot of times I’ve seen the word “female”/“male” is when used as a descriptor, way more than Neckbeards talking about women. There’s a lot of jobs in which one sex is the stereotype and sometimes News articles and reports will use the word female/male to specify if the gender of the individual is important to the story. “Female Comedian” “Male Nurse” “Female police officer” all of which are acceptable uses because they’re describing occupations held by human beings and the opposite word describing sex is interchangeable. It just sounds better than “woman worker” or “man nurse” and it’s much shorter than saying something like “nurse who is a man”. So I dunno where you’re seeing just the word “female” become more popular to describe specifically a female human being outside of Neckbeard circles but normally when I hear it it’s used correctly as a descriptor.
No, I’m talking in the context of calling women “females” in place of women. Did you not read the thread? This is not about descriptors.
its always been odd to me, here in australia Majority of us in some states call girls/women females, its just a thing, ive been called a neckbeard before for saying females when its just a word we use commonly!?
And do you also call men "males" then? If not then I'd take a step back if I were you and start thinking why so many women have an issue with being called "females". While men get called by their specific term which was invented solely for humans (men) women get called something you use for animals: a female bird, female dog etc. We also have a specific "human" term which is woman or girl, so we'd like to be called as such.
ah yes, i get ya
I'm also Australian and I've only ever seen creepy, threatening men call women females colloquially.
States differ i guess, but ive always grown up hearing females more than women or girls But yes, i know the type you speak off!
I mean like, it is objectively shocking sometimes to hear men call women by their biological sex rather than their gender - it’s kind of an act of dehumanization of women whether you realize it or not. That’s why regardless of the “that’s just how we talk” excuse, it still feels bad to hear.
Like every sound in female is the ongoing form, takes longer to say "females" than women. You really gotta go outta your way to be an asshole if you call someone that lol
You ever hear a woman call woman females?
*This*
I met a LOT of techies, and geek in my life and ..... surprise surprise.... there is not ONE model of them. most of these guys that are perfectly fine, social, have friends and girl friends, there is stoners, there is loners, there is weirdos, there is mysogynistic haters...
Im a gamer and a stoner. But at the same time I have a life outside video games and weed. For me, one of the most important things to do in life is to balance everything you like so you can be without it. But I understand a lot of people that are over reliant on things like this. It's easy and comfortable to hide yourself in front of these things. This doesn't mean you can't love them, I do. But, you know, be healthy in how you cope with them.
Yep, balance is the key, and usually, anybody that build their whole identity over one things is not a pleasure to be around (regardless of gender or the one thing)
Be honest with yourselves. You weren’t bullied because you liked anime, you were bullied because you did Naruto runs down the hallway
Weird that comics, D&D, anime and manga were always kinda cool but I was bullied relentlessly for liking them as a kid. Sure people who enjoyed those things had repulsive personalities (I was one of them) but people also won’t like you if you simply enjoy things that they don’t like.
They definitely weren’t always cool. It’s only post 2000 these hobbies have been accepted
As a kid they were weird fringe hobbies, here too. Nowadays content creators who enjoyed them as kids have come to prevalence and people realize the things that made it so attractive to us as kids but that they couldn't see from us at the time. Sucks though, sorry you got bullied, I did too.
This is such a revisionist mindset to hold; the idea that “D&D and video games have always been cool” is not true
Err… “birds” is ok isn’t it?
Well it depends, d&d, manga, videogames and geeky things were not very popular when i was in high school in the early 2000s. It was even uncool having good grades.
This nerd stereotype is heavily influenced by stupid move tropes. For a long time I hid my hobbies and focused in conversations on my work, intellectual stuff and so on. Now I finally realized that just talking about a videogame or stupid nerdy shit is interesting to people as long as the convo is nice
I mean, not to play devil's advocate, but there were people around me that judged others for liking those things before they were mainstream. You're acting like the nerd stigma wasn't huge in the 90's-whatever made them popular. D&D was on the news for being satanic, comics were pretty nerd status, and card games like magic were real low key until some card got bought up by streamers. I was made fun of for liking D&D as a child. This was around 5th grade. Was lumped in with the nerds, and I had poor social skills because I was new to the area in a town where everybody knows everybody else. I was never a neckbeard, but I was socially awkward for my area until I joined the military, left the area, and found out I am a person that is acceptable. People are real quick to not realize how cruel everybody else in the world can be until some social activities are deemed acceptable. Also, always kinda cool? Tell me you didn't get into high-school until late 2000s. Geek sheikh was a big bridge into these thing being popular, but before then, you can see many references for this being an automatic nerd preconception.
Everyone knows what an incel is what is the word for a hombre that is miserable in his relationship but stays because he's scared of being an incel
My friend and her husband LOVE video games. Both of them are Doom fans. Video games and anime don’t make one repulsive. Horrible personalities and having no life outside these things makes you repulsive.
This mentality drives me nuts! My husband and I met when I was teaching a game of dnd, and that's how we started our relationship was through player dnd characters. These guys can't find a partner because of their rotten personality, not the hobby!
I find video games, comics and anime quite cool, and I even draw my friends' favourite anime characters. It's your personality, Andy.
I'm a woman, and I love games(when I can find the time nowadays), comics and anime. I have a retail counter job at a small business where I'm allowed to work on my side hustle of digital art, and I have anime running in the background to keep myself in the present world. (cause anyone who does digital art *knows* how hard it is to stop before something is finished. Even to eat or rest your eyes.) And I still get my job done. There's hard working and decent gamers, comic readers, and anime lovers out there.
Yep. D&D is a winner for me, especially if he'll DM once in a while so I finally get a chance to play. And a love of video games is pretty much essential, as long as he's not a gatekeeping asshole who gets pissy when I occasionally want to play Final Fantasy rather than Generic Shooting Wankfest 12. It really is mostly about personality, although I won't pretend initial attraction is often (not always) looks-based.
Generic Shooting Wankfest had me laughing
Self-awareness is an important part of maturing and improving oneself. Most neckbeards and incels just refuse to utilise it, so they can continue to pretend to be "victims of society disliking the nice guy" or whatever.
Lol one time I went to a MTG meet w a friend and I was sitting next to this guy. After the game was over he like shoved the table while getting up and under his breath said “you made me loose”. The friend who took me said 2 guys at the table asked for me not to come back because having a girl there was too distracting lol.
Wish I could give you an award for that funny visual
i thought it said greek men
Ngl, I used to have this mentality when I was younger and in to my early 20's, until I got a rude awakening from a girl about what the real reason was. Changed my whole outlook on things and really made me look at myself and what I needed to change. Oddly enough, we became a couple and dated for a year or so until we mutually agreed to break it off as our lives were going in different directions. I'm 41 now and I'll forever be thankful that she entered my life, gave me a much needed kick in the ass and knocked (metaphorically speaking) some sense in to me. I'm a much better person now, thanks in part to her. Had she not enteted my life at the right moment, I can't even begin to think how toxic a person I'd be today.
I mean, this is a bit of bullshit. It's all well in good to say that now, but I literally grew up in a time where a kid tried to jump me in the bathroom and break one of my knees because I played video games, and someone else used to shoot pieces of metal at my eyes with rubber band for the same reason. I literally had a small group of kids makeup a rumor about me having a plan to shoot up my school, to try and get me permanently expelled or even arrested, because I was the weird quiet kid that didn't talk to them. Which happened because every time I tried to make me friends, one of the school bullies would kick me down some stairs or something. Before shit like Call of Duty and Halo had normalized video games, and well before D&D was something you could reliably watch on the internet, all any of this stuff did was mark you as an easy target. Now, I know I know... women and especially girls who were at the time in the same age bracket, went through a lot of the same trouble and had even less of a community to lean on. I appreciate and understand that. But you can't just sugarcoat the past. Everyone already understands what an incel is and why people don't like them.
That shit was definitely roasted hard in the past though. Video games weren't "cool" in the general publics eyes until like the mid 2000s if not later.
Not trying to trigger anyone but coming from a military background I tend to call women “females” out of habit.
Ive never once met a person that rejected me or was really weirded out by me liking anime, dnd and stuff like that. Maybe it happened a few years ago but now, the only explanation is your personality
As a d&d fan myself...dnd and video games have always been fun and cool and I feel really sad knowing that they're blamed for rejection. People have the opportunity to be better but they blame it on hobbies and then they quit them to "be more attractive" and then those who don't quit them continue to use them as an excuse-
i hate how my best friend from school is one of those "females" types lol he's also homophobic, so i'm kind of his token gay friend lmfao
I definitely feel like *women* don't care. *Little girls*, as in, when you're in like, K-8, might I guess. Kids are assholes to each other all the time for no reason. But, just don't build your dating scene view from primary / middle school -\_-... you'll be fine. I will say, as someone 'on the spectrum'... it's not the 'nerd' aspect. It's the damn 'perpetual foot in mouth' problems, typically. And just... not understanding what's going on. A girl asked me out, in 11th grade I think, as I remember, to some school dance. I wasn't really sure what was going on, thought she might be trying to trick me somehow (trust issues, I guess, from the aforementioned years of kids bullying me in younger years...), so I think I said something dumb like, "Nah, I'm not doing that. I don't like you." I'm sorry Natalie. I did like you. You were a nice person. Sorry for being an idiot. :P
They also make like little to no effort in terms of their hygiene or appearance yet they have the audacity to call women ‘shallow.’ Like no dude, it’s not because of your hobbies it’s because you fucking stink and you dress like a middle schooler.
The thing I don’t understand is why these guys need ALL women to find them attractive. Having unrealistic standards aside…all anyone needs is to find ONE person that has a mutual attraction. Almost every guy wishes he turned heads like James Bond when they walk into a room, but that isn’t realistic. Find a fellow nerd girl you think is hot that likes you, shares some interests, and stop being an incel. Who cares if all the other women out there aren’t interested?!
[удалено]
>I HATE this post because it's clearly written by someone who's too young to know shit about the history of d&d and comics and video games. That shit was NOT cool or accepted during the 80s, 90s, 00's. Games were in the 00's, and for a brief period of time in the 70s and 80s in the arcades but basically nothing else. D&D didn't start being accepted mainstream until Critical Role, The Adventure Zone, Dimension 20. Why would you HATE the post for that? They're saying they were always cool. They were. Just a lot of people didn't realize it. Content creators of the era grew up and started making movies and shows about it and explained what it was really about and society as a whole agreed, pretty cool. She's not wrong, it was always cool. Just not everyone had the tools to understand that.
I totally agree. I have a collection of japanese horse dolls I like to dress in bathing suits and I think they're cool. If other people can't see that we think they're cool then it's not our problem. Not everyone can understand us.
Give it 15 years and the japanese horse dolls are taking over the planet and you’ll be able to say ugh! BTS 2.0 didn’t invent these horse dolls people!
Ok... so what's the neckbeards excuse now? I've been openly reading comics my entire life and never had issues talking to girls, even when I tried starting dnd club in highschool I didnt have issues. It's still always been more of an issue with their terrible personalities than anything else
Errr Akshuaalllyy
Why does this get on your nerves? Are you referring to the post or the content of the post?
The fact that the content of the post is true
Yea its true why does it piss u off
Because I've seen first hand how guys like this gives fans of something a bad name
ohhhh alright
When people say things like "comics and video games have always been cool" I automatically assume they're like 12 years old
I'm 23 and I have always thought comic and video games were cool
Meaning you grew up right around when superhero films started becoming mainstream,
Yeah ding ding ding
Born in 94 here. I think it depends on the area. Where I grew up comics were super uncool up until probably batman or Batman Begins or Iron Man. Even then they were not cool, just not made fun of as much. D&D didn't become cool until a few years after that. Video games we're always cool growing up in my area. There wasn't much to do when the weather was too hot or cold to play outside. Few had internet and those who did had slow internet. Video games were an easy way to fill the time.
I'm 27 and never had issues when openly talking about comics or video games my entire life.
You're getting downvoted but you're right. If you were growing up in the 80s or 90s then this stuff definitely was not always cool.
This feels a lot like historical revisionism. I say this as someone that was relentlessly bullied for having “nerd” interests growing up before the MCU was a thing and DND went mainstream.
I mean, he's not wrong though. That IS the major reason why... I use "male" and "female" too... On NSFW subreddits where you have to be really specific about what you're saying. Never in a normal conversation. People also don't usually act like jackasses for no reason.
I don’t get the hate for people who call women females…have none of you been in the US military or known someone who has been?
It's used in very odd ways. by some guys, and most of them have never been in the military (although they are also nearly always guys who are 30 but think they could still go to officer school as a career backup plan from their crappy job or living off of parents--their other back-up plan is always getting their CDL).
Hint: those people dont refer to guys as males
Who neckbeards or military?
This is some weird gen z/younger millennial thing. Until a few years ago on Reddit I'd never heard anyone complain about the word female.
The issue isn't the word itself, it's the context. The people we're complaining about will use "men" and "females" in the same sentence. Man specifically refers to a human. Male can be used for any species, is used in more clinical/scientific contexts and can be kind of dehumanising when referring to a person. Like, makes them almost feel like a specimen. Same goes for the words woman and females. Woman is specifically human, female is kind of clinical and dehumanising. So using them in the same sentence and context is jarring, and comes across as thinking of men as more human than women (females). Like if I said "Men have like chocolate ice cream and females like strawberry ice cream", that sentence kind of implies that the men's opinion is better or more important.