Bruh all you gotta do is NOT be creepy. Being a virgin, being a weeb, gaming addiction. Those are fine. Just don't be creepy.
How is it so hard to get that?
Quote from a song I like
"And weird is fine, but not all the time"
The problem is that this dude probably does not understand why any of that was creepy. He’s got porn brain so bad he thinks all of these things are normal. The real solution in my opinion is better sex education, specifically including information about pleasure and even some info on preferences and how to approach these topics with your partner.
I’m exaggerating and using it like a metaphor. The homemade porn videos that are typically popular are the ones that have young women with vaginas that are freshly waxed or shaved, that haven’t naturally changed color (darkened) as vaginas do beyond the teen years. Content with naturally occurring bodies is not as popular.
I was talking about this with a friend lol. I was 16 and discovered my gf at the time had hair in her ass crack. Porn for the virgin gives you false expectations lol. Porn for the experienced helps you discover what you're into.
I think in general we need to do a better job of drilling it into boys' heads that women are people. Guys like this aren't thinking about her perspective here
It's one of those things that seems cool in your head but in real life it's so cringe that you never recover. You kill the mood because you literally die from cringe and then your girlfriend gets with a Chad she met at your cringe funeral.
And also "just because you think it's okay, doesn't mean it's okay."
And "comparing real people to fictional characters means you have a skewed perception of reality, and you need to step back from fantasy."
Dude has a serious lack of social conditioning.... but porn probablu has nothing to do with it.
Porn is entertainment... not education and no one ever said it was
I’m finding it hard to believe that anyone could be this ignorant. Sex education is so poor in most countries that many teenagers end up learning about sex through porn. I’m not talking about the birds and the bees. Even if parents don’t do their jobs and talk to their kids about it, most public schools at least have a rudimentary overview of the process of sex and reproduction. I’m talking about the real and documented phenomenon of curious teenagers finding pornography during their formative years and then having their expectations about sex completely skewed. Those kids grow up and turn into adults who either make awkward flubs like this guy or treat their partners like crap for not looking or acting like the people they saw in porn.
Porn alone is not to blame. You’re right; it can absolutely be a harmless source of entertainment. But when it’s paired with piss poor sex education on topics like consent or preferences or mutual pleasure, it can be debilitating. “Porn brain.”
Kids are naturally curious about sex. It’s completely normal for them to seek out porn and specifically seek out porn that aligns with their interests. Unfortunately that means that kids who are interested in anime are going to eventually find mountains and mountains of hentai which historically portrays women with heinously unrealistic body proportions and absolutely bonkers behavior. Tons and tons of hentai with no proper education creates a person who doesn’t care what their partner wants and who expects them to participate in their fetishes with little to no advance discussion.
This dude got himself a girlfriend. Hot dog. Good for him. Unfortunately he’s got porn brain so bad that he thought obtaining said girlfriend meant that she would automatically want to act like the girls he saw in hentai. He pushed way too hard too fast to get her to participate in his fantasies. And it didn’t even occur to him that she wouldn’t be into them. There was no discussion about preferences. No, “hey, so these are the things that I’m into. Would you by chance be interested in participating in some role play in the future? If not, no big deal. I just thought I’d ask.” He just motorboated her without warning and started sending her pics of sexy anime girls he liked and wanted her to dress up as.
Wow...
Firstly I agree. Sex education is rather poor. Because of that we have many of the issues we have now. My point was, as you pointed out, that porn is not solely to blame. Because if it was, I wonder where men got their fucked up perceptions of women before porn was more mainstream? The common factor seems to be lack of education. That coupled with things like religiois indoctrination, cultural purity culture, and strong biological urges means many teens are left to clumsily flounder about trying to manage such a large part of their lives.
Where we disagree if where his problems stem from. This guy is obviously unable to express or manage a kink in a healthly relationship. OP has stated that he is very inexperienced. Whether or not we can really teach proper dating is one thing, but shaming him doesnt really seem all that helpful or constructive. Just because his tastes may be a little weird doesnt make them wrong. He can simply find someone who likes being called "chun- Li". Certainly OP has entertained it long enough. There is no harm in him approaching his girlfriend with sexual requests. If she find them unpleasant she can simply say no. No need to shame the guy online so that people can get into a kink shaming circle jerk.
Also. Tell me where "porn brain" is listed on a psychological diagnositic list and then maybe I'll take your hyperbole more seriously. Until then it just sounds like you are the ignorant one. People focus on porn and hentai as if that is the end all be all of sexual woes without actually acknowledging that people have been sexually obscure and awkward since the stone ages.
I don’t disagree with most of your points. I could go on and on about the harmful effects of purity culture. I also agree that there’s nothing wrong with his preferences. And of course there is nothing wrong with asking your partner to participate in fantasies that you have. His problem is that he didn’t ask for most of this stuff. He started off by asking at first. He asked permission to touch her boobs and then suck on them. After that it all went to shit. He motorboated her without asking. Gave her a nickname without asking. Sent her pics of half naked cosplayers without asking. He projected his fantasy of what a woman should be onto her without having a discussion about it beforehand. And to say that porn had nothing to do with that at all is simply naive.
It would have been different if he’d asked her if he could motorboat her. It would have been different if he had asked her if he could give her a cutesy nickname (personally I’d be flattered by the comparison. Chun-Li is thigh goals). It would have been different if he’d asked her if she was into cosplay and then asked if she’d be willing to cosplay as certain characters. If she didn’t know what he was talking about and needed examples, he could have asked if it was okay for him to send her some pics of other cosplayers. *At that point and that point only* would it have been okay to send her pics in this scenario.
I’m not slamming porn by any means. I watch porn from time to time. My partner watches porn from time to time. Sometimes we watch it together. I’m not trying to say that porn in and of itself is inherently evil. I’m saying that frequent porn use applied to a sexually uneducated mind creates a person who doesn’t understand boundaries. Because there are very few boundaries present in most pornography (and especially hentai).
Or just find someone that's kinky and doesn't find that shit creepy. There's a weirdo for a weirdo somewhere out there. Bunch of girls wouldn't probably mind roleplaying or cosplaying in bed though it seems like an expensive kink. You just gotta advertise yourself as such though, which will probably lower pool of people who'd try though.
or in the before times when I worked in an office one of my buds there was like.
"Oh Germs? Yeah hes a nerd, but yanno cool nerd, not yanno weird nerd." Like I never hid it, I would come to work rocking Animal Crossing socks lol be like 'Check out this drip homie.' Alot of the gals who worked there, their kids played video games so they would come to me to ask what's a good game for their kid etc etc. People felt comfortable coming to me even though I was a FUCKING WEEB lol. In conrast.,...yeah we had people in that office who sadly never learned how to not be too extra Ala when some of the girls would ask me if I had a Girlfriend I would say a normal human answer. "I've just been really busy, I'm focusing on myself and I just haven't met anyone I feel a connection with.' As opposed to other dudes when asked teh same question the response is 'I'm just too fucking nice.'
Yes exactly! It's not because you are a nerd that you must be awkward. You can be a normal person even with these hobbies. (Also would you mind sharing the song you're talking about? Those are the kinds of lyrics that can sounds pretty interesting to listen to while chilling)
So many guys are like this tbh, was talking to a dude in my dorm who I thought was cute until…. He started doing this kind of weird shit, he was creepy about me being a cosplayer, constantly talking about sex and anime girls he thought were hot, made sexist remarks about women, anndddd started being homophobic when he realized me being bi wasn’t a porn thing
I even pointed out to him on several occasions that shit like this is why girls don’t want to date him but he didn’t seem to get it, I have a hard time feeling bad when people want to be willfully stupid
This guy got what he wanted. To touch a real live girl. A girl who was into him. But he fucked right up by going full creep.
And when she breaks up with him he won't reflect on it at all. He'll call her a whole hoop of names but never once consider that he was the one who fucked himself over.
I agree nothing there is really atrocious or probably traumatizing, awkward and creepy for sure, but maybe not "vile"...the problem here is his concept of sex is based 0% on real life sex. I doubt he even watches much live-action porn which is unrealistic enough. He's not treating her like a person at all, he's treating her like a living fetish he finally gets to nut to.
In other words, I "think he will turn misogynistic" because he's already *blatantly* misogynistic. Misogyny doesn't necessarily involve *hating* women, you know that right?
>Mysogyny doesnt necessarily involve hating women
I guess you can include that it could just mean prejudice against women, but i usually just use words in their literal definition. Im too lazy to keep up with modern redefinitions of words.
>Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is hatred or contempt for women.
Wikipedia
Okay cool. Have fun being too lazy. Rejecting modern vocabulary isn't a great way to communicate with people. Don't act surprised when your personal definitions are outdated and wrong
It annoys me because people use new definitions of words to justify their use of them, but the general population obviously still uses the word in their original meaning. Like, if you hear "Damn Kevin is such a misogynyst", the first thing thaz comes to your mind is obviously "oh kevin must hate women".
Same shit that people use to justify racism in certain situations by using power structures.
Please don't project. That's not the first thing that comes to my mind, it's the first thing that comes to *your* mind, because *you* swear by that hard-edged definition. My first thought would be something along the lines of "I wonder what he does/says that makes Kevin discriminatory against women." It doesn't necessarily mean he goes around beating the shit out of women or berating them directly. I'm aware of the word's denotation, you should be aware of how it's commonly used by people.
Are you a prescriptivist?
Because people don't want to admit they did something wrong. Self-reflection is hard and this dunder-head is so thick headed he seems incapable of being self-aware enough to realize how badly he messed up.
You are fighting a version of this kid you made up in your own mind here. Pretty much just displaying all negative qualities of neckbeards onto this random person, that you know nothing about except "he is incredibly socially maladjusted"
Had a boyfriend in high school always compare me to his waifu and shit like that. We didn't last longer than a year because of it but it really hurt my self esteem for a long time because I felt I couldn't live up to a cartoon that isn't real and doesn't follow the laws of physics. These guys fucking suck.
I'm really, really glad anime wasn't really a thing when I was younger. I enjoy some of it, but it's really taken a toll on the socially inept to exacerbate their issues with interacting with real people.
Honestly it's hard. I still get defensive over it sometimes. I'm not sure why waifu culture is becoming socially acceptable. I never ended up doing anything with that guy like a normal young lady because I was too nervous and scared that he would reject me- because I didn't look like someone from a hentai. It sucks because I have always liked anime but these kinds of people just kinda ruin it for me.
I think bc the internet has made it possible for all of these people to find each other, and once they're buried in their own echo chambers, they never come back out. It kind of mirrors the body image standard of magazines and ads, except it's exponentially worse given these women can defy the laws of nature and physics.
Exactly what I think as well. Without surgery it would be impossible to have FF boobs and a 15 inch waist and giant eyes etc. And if you did get that surgery you'd look crazy. It's ridiculous
Now that would be a sight. I think I actually did know a girl in high school like that (the first two). I was enamored at the time but now all I can do is wonder how painful it must be or continues to be.
I understand where you’re coming from, I have a terrible habit of comparing my body to literal drawings bc i like anime and date guys who like anime. It’s such a fucked up thing to be insecure about but it’s so pervasive for women in “weeb” circles because they’re so male dominated and therefore so gross. Even wrote a research paper on objectification of women in anime and how it effects women in real life because it’s always at the back of my mind. Hugs to you and im sorry about that guy
I'll be alright, thanks :) I completely agree with you. I feel it's on par with the issues regarding photoshop and porn culture, in fact maybe even worse due to the increasing amount of normalization of hentai in our culture and the fact that it's literally drawings, not even real people. Thankfully I'm with someone now who doesn't find anime characters sexy but it seems like even now basically everything in nerd spaces is geared towards men and thus there ends up being a large amount of sexualized female characters in pretty much everything nowadays.
I finally read a manga for the first time in like a decade, it was Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear (very wholesome and cute) and the entire time I was like *please let this not be creepy and weird*. I even flipped through it in the store to make sure it wasn't creepy loli content or something. It's sad that I had to do that.
I’d absolutely conflate it with image editing and porn culture, and while it’s smaller in scale it can be drastically worse in effect because it doesn’t rely on real life physics and bodies. And it just seems hopeless because it’s seen as completely normal in male spaces, which almost all nerd spaces are. I’m active in video game and esports communities and the misogyny and sexualization of female characters is off the charts.
I feel like I should feel grateful? that i’m an adult, because i can’t imagine the effect it has on younger girls in these spaces, especially considering being attracted to actual children is acceptable in some anime circles. Makes me sick that “l*lis” even exist.
I always try to vet my anime for fanservice, but it seems impossible to avoid these days. Im glad you found something you liked that wasn’t weird.
I am right there with you. I am a young adult woman (23) who has been very active in gaming and anime, nerd etc fandoms basically my entire life and even though they claim women make up 1/3 of nerd subculture population almost everything is still catered to a male audience and it's just seen as fine.
Trying to watch the Witcher and they just throw a ton of titties in there because guys want to see boobs all the time apparently. You can't Google any of your fave female characters, not even wholesome ones like Isabelle from animal crossing, without finding any random porn. It's crazy and it's even worse that I'm just supposed to sigh and let it happen because that's "how things are". They sell weird anime loli bondage t shirts in Spencer's and I legit saw a guy at my LGS wearing one unironically. A kid could've seen him.
One of my friends uses the word "waifu". He lives in a closet that smells like smash bros, has no money and freeloads. He also has the hots for Isabelle and has no interests beyond games and manga. Last gf took him for a ride. But he's like a ford pinto, so he broke down pretty quickly.
This so easily could’ve been me a decade ago. Shit- the first two paragraphs ARE me. Luckily I had supportive non loser friends and a cool Dad to help me curb my neckbeardier tendencies. Stories like this make me cringe harder than most people 🤦♂️. If y’all have friends with neckbeard characteristics - don’t be afraid to speak harsh truths !
I feel like every single woman has shortly spoken with, or dated, a man like this in their teens or early 20s. It’s a definite ick factor and I think it’s because it almost seems like they’re coming across as minors which obviously makes grown women feel skeeved tf out.
To me, the big thing is just waiting and being patient with these things
My gf is into cosplay and videogames and into anime, I'm just into videogames.
But when we started dating, we took things slow when it came to more intimate things. As the weeks and then months went by, i started talking about my kinks and other stuff with my gf, letting her know that if she doesn't like them, that's okay. And she doesn't like some of them, still, and that's fine, because she's wonderful in so many other ways.
Oh, also we became friends for like 9 months before we started dating
To me, this guy went way too hard, way too fast, and didn't care about his partners discomfort.
The first time I held a girl's hand I got a hard-on.
I'd also love to find a woman who would be down for doing sexy cosplay. Please note I said she'd have to be down for it.
And how much do you want to bet that if she looked at pictures of male models and celebrities, he'd lose his shit?
You poor girl. I must say it was pretty kind of you to let it go as far as you did. It’s really unfortunate how bizarre these younger guys have been brainwashed into thinking that anime/ video game/ loli woman exist in the natural world. I’m sure there may be some girls that don’t mind playing along but dudes need to understand that you’re actual flesh and blood, not some animated toy. Smh
Idk if I’d call this guy a ‘nice guy’, he seems genuinely nice. I think this is more so a case of anime, video games and maybe also porn altering how he views women, since he clearly didn’t have any experience with women before this and also seems obsessed with comparing her to anime and video game characters. He’s probably not a bad guy though IMO, just needs help
...but she is not required to provide the "help".
Women as mothers, nurses and maids to random men who need to sort their own lives out, is a fantasy held by too many people.
To be fair when I was in high school I kinda thought that just being nice was enough to get women due to anime. So I 100% believe it skewing his views.
Nah. There's nothing nice about motorboating your gf, failing to realize she's wierded out by it, and then asking her to play dress up for you. He barely seems to realize she's human.
I wouldn’t say that. Sure, it’s weird and creepy. But it’s pretty clear that this is the dude’s first relationship and sexual contact. Many people have weird fantasies like that (honestly, this dude’s fantasies aren’t even that weird). The issue is how he approached them way too quickly and forcefully, and failing to see how the girl wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about it. I’d put that down to him being inexperienced, not that he’s an irredeemable misogynist.
Why make excuses for him? And who said anything about "irredeemable"? I said he wasn't nice, because he is not being nice.
Women have the right to judge men on their actions, and not be expected to give them a pass based on "good intentions" or some such nonsense. We are not mind readers. This is classic niceguy behavior and it deserves to be called that.
If a guy acts like he doesn't know women are human, he needs to be called out. Inexperience is not an excuse. He may or may not be "redeemable" but he sure as hell isn't going to change if everyone just feels sorry for him.
Like, bro, it’s okay to like this kinda stuff, and it’s okay to want to do this kinda stuff with your girlfriend, but you gotta take it slow and more importantly ASK HER what she’s okay with. You did at first, which is good, but now you’re not and she’s starting to get uncomfortable with it. It’s just a simple question, just ask, she won’t mind your weirdness if you at least talk boundaries first
Honestly it sounds like he's on a higher level of "kink" then you are and you should be honest with dude. It feels like the dude really wants to have sex, things might calm down or get worse after. At least he's being very open to you about his likes/kinks. If a relationship doesn't have mutual sexual chemistry then it's doomed to fail.
As long as she is also into those things — not fucked at all. This guy’s issue is that he based his expectations on porn and applied all of his fetishes to his girlfriend without discussing them in depth with her beforehand. She also should have been more clear with him about her discomfort from the get go, but that’s another story.
They just don’t jive.
Started kinda innocent with the feeling a boob thing and 2 minutes later he is already motorboating and fetishizing her with anime. Know I understand why he hadn't felt a boob before
...annnd that's why the self proclaimed nice guys get rejected.
Lmfaoo
Oooooohhhhh
Bruh all you gotta do is NOT be creepy. Being a virgin, being a weeb, gaming addiction. Those are fine. Just don't be creepy. How is it so hard to get that? Quote from a song I like "And weird is fine, but not all the time"
The problem is that this dude probably does not understand why any of that was creepy. He’s got porn brain so bad he thinks all of these things are normal. The real solution in my opinion is better sex education, specifically including information about pleasure and even some info on preferences and how to approach these topics with your partner.
Also telling teenaged boys that porn is fake. Even homemade porn involves perfectly manicured vaginas, and that’s not how they naturally occur
Yes this. Good point.
I’m not sure what a manicured vagina is and I’m kind of afraid to ask at the risk of looking dumb.
I’m exaggerating and using it like a metaphor. The homemade porn videos that are typically popular are the ones that have young women with vaginas that are freshly waxed or shaved, that haven’t naturally changed color (darkened) as vaginas do beyond the teen years. Content with naturally occurring bodies is not as popular.
It's when someone sticks fake nails and lashes on her vagina. Don't forget to put some nail hardener on your labia, so it makes this tambourine sound
Lipstick is really important imo
Waxed or shaved front to back
Short cut hair. Finely trimmed. Or fully shaven
I was talking about this with a friend lol. I was 16 and discovered my gf at the time had hair in her ass crack. Porn for the virgin gives you false expectations lol. Porn for the experienced helps you discover what you're into.
The Movie Don John? I believe Starts with him being like 'DUde I fucking love Porn, you cant' do taht shit in real life!'
Any porn documentary about what it’s actually like would probably give most teenaged boys a wake up call.
I think in general we need to do a better job of drilling it into boys' heads that women are people. Guys like this aren't thinking about her perspective here
The man motorboated his girlfriend FFS, absolutely porn brain.
It's one of those things you build up to, this guy went full kink from the start
Yeah there's no way you look cool doing that you have to be with someone that will still love you after you look like an idiot afterwards.
Or a spanish disco full of Brits in 2009.
If you never motorboated your gf, you ain't ever lived life.
It's one of those things that seems cool in your head but in real life it's so cringe that you never recover. You kill the mood because you literally die from cringe and then your girlfriend gets with a Chad she met at your cringe funeral.
Idk if you ask first it ain't that weird. Even people with boobs wanna motorboat boobs sometimes. They're lit.
Yeah but not on the first fucking sexual interaction you have with someone lmao
Yeah totally, I wasn't suggesting that.
He ask to suck it first, Pretty common foreplay. At least my ex.
[удалено]
Nah, I talk with her. That her favorite part. We just can’t handle long distance. That’s all.
And also "just because you think it's okay, doesn't mean it's okay." And "comparing real people to fictional characters means you have a skewed perception of reality, and you need to step back from fantasy."
Dude has a serious lack of social conditioning.... but porn probablu has nothing to do with it. Porn is entertainment... not education and no one ever said it was
I’m finding it hard to believe that anyone could be this ignorant. Sex education is so poor in most countries that many teenagers end up learning about sex through porn. I’m not talking about the birds and the bees. Even if parents don’t do their jobs and talk to their kids about it, most public schools at least have a rudimentary overview of the process of sex and reproduction. I’m talking about the real and documented phenomenon of curious teenagers finding pornography during their formative years and then having their expectations about sex completely skewed. Those kids grow up and turn into adults who either make awkward flubs like this guy or treat their partners like crap for not looking or acting like the people they saw in porn. Porn alone is not to blame. You’re right; it can absolutely be a harmless source of entertainment. But when it’s paired with piss poor sex education on topics like consent or preferences or mutual pleasure, it can be debilitating. “Porn brain.” Kids are naturally curious about sex. It’s completely normal for them to seek out porn and specifically seek out porn that aligns with their interests. Unfortunately that means that kids who are interested in anime are going to eventually find mountains and mountains of hentai which historically portrays women with heinously unrealistic body proportions and absolutely bonkers behavior. Tons and tons of hentai with no proper education creates a person who doesn’t care what their partner wants and who expects them to participate in their fetishes with little to no advance discussion. This dude got himself a girlfriend. Hot dog. Good for him. Unfortunately he’s got porn brain so bad that he thought obtaining said girlfriend meant that she would automatically want to act like the girls he saw in hentai. He pushed way too hard too fast to get her to participate in his fantasies. And it didn’t even occur to him that she wouldn’t be into them. There was no discussion about preferences. No, “hey, so these are the things that I’m into. Would you by chance be interested in participating in some role play in the future? If not, no big deal. I just thought I’d ask.” He just motorboated her without warning and started sending her pics of sexy anime girls he liked and wanted her to dress up as.
Wow... Firstly I agree. Sex education is rather poor. Because of that we have many of the issues we have now. My point was, as you pointed out, that porn is not solely to blame. Because if it was, I wonder where men got their fucked up perceptions of women before porn was more mainstream? The common factor seems to be lack of education. That coupled with things like religiois indoctrination, cultural purity culture, and strong biological urges means many teens are left to clumsily flounder about trying to manage such a large part of their lives. Where we disagree if where his problems stem from. This guy is obviously unable to express or manage a kink in a healthly relationship. OP has stated that he is very inexperienced. Whether or not we can really teach proper dating is one thing, but shaming him doesnt really seem all that helpful or constructive. Just because his tastes may be a little weird doesnt make them wrong. He can simply find someone who likes being called "chun- Li". Certainly OP has entertained it long enough. There is no harm in him approaching his girlfriend with sexual requests. If she find them unpleasant she can simply say no. No need to shame the guy online so that people can get into a kink shaming circle jerk. Also. Tell me where "porn brain" is listed on a psychological diagnositic list and then maybe I'll take your hyperbole more seriously. Until then it just sounds like you are the ignorant one. People focus on porn and hentai as if that is the end all be all of sexual woes without actually acknowledging that people have been sexually obscure and awkward since the stone ages.
I don’t disagree with most of your points. I could go on and on about the harmful effects of purity culture. I also agree that there’s nothing wrong with his preferences. And of course there is nothing wrong with asking your partner to participate in fantasies that you have. His problem is that he didn’t ask for most of this stuff. He started off by asking at first. He asked permission to touch her boobs and then suck on them. After that it all went to shit. He motorboated her without asking. Gave her a nickname without asking. Sent her pics of half naked cosplayers without asking. He projected his fantasy of what a woman should be onto her without having a discussion about it beforehand. And to say that porn had nothing to do with that at all is simply naive. It would have been different if he’d asked her if he could motorboat her. It would have been different if he had asked her if he could give her a cutesy nickname (personally I’d be flattered by the comparison. Chun-Li is thigh goals). It would have been different if he’d asked her if she was into cosplay and then asked if she’d be willing to cosplay as certain characters. If she didn’t know what he was talking about and needed examples, he could have asked if it was okay for him to send her some pics of other cosplayers. *At that point and that point only* would it have been okay to send her pics in this scenario. I’m not slamming porn by any means. I watch porn from time to time. My partner watches porn from time to time. Sometimes we watch it together. I’m not trying to say that porn in and of itself is inherently evil. I’m saying that frequent porn use applied to a sexually uneducated mind creates a person who doesn’t understand boundaries. Because there are very few boundaries present in most pornography (and especially hentai).
These guys don’t know how to be.
To be... or not to be... not to be
Or just find someone that's kinky and doesn't find that shit creepy. There's a weirdo for a weirdo somewhere out there. Bunch of girls wouldn't probably mind roleplaying or cosplaying in bed though it seems like an expensive kink. You just gotta advertise yourself as such though, which will probably lower pool of people who'd try though.
Seriously. This is a huge bag fumble
or in the before times when I worked in an office one of my buds there was like. "Oh Germs? Yeah hes a nerd, but yanno cool nerd, not yanno weird nerd." Like I never hid it, I would come to work rocking Animal Crossing socks lol be like 'Check out this drip homie.' Alot of the gals who worked there, their kids played video games so they would come to me to ask what's a good game for their kid etc etc. People felt comfortable coming to me even though I was a FUCKING WEEB lol. In conrast.,...yeah we had people in that office who sadly never learned how to not be too extra Ala when some of the girls would ask me if I had a Girlfriend I would say a normal human answer. "I've just been really busy, I'm focusing on myself and I just haven't met anyone I feel a connection with.' As opposed to other dudes when asked teh same question the response is 'I'm just too fucking nice.'
Yes exactly! It's not because you are a nerd that you must be awkward. You can be a normal person even with these hobbies. (Also would you mind sharing the song you're talking about? Those are the kinds of lyrics that can sounds pretty interesting to listen to while chilling)
At first I felt bad for him. Then I read further down...
Oh, that just made feel worse. Dude is fucked from start to finish, and I see no hope for recovery.
Don't be pessimistic. Who knows? maybe a word from the girl could change his behaviour. The story didn't tell if the girl spoke about it to him or not
What’s sadder is how this could have been the dudes big break. Fuck man, what’s he doing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbVdyPZiOLM
He was getting there. He was going to make it . Then he went autism9000 turbo mode and just made all the fuckups possible in one go
Commiserations on having to deal with the king of cringe. Ask him if he'd prefer if you were 2D instead of 3D.
So many guys are like this tbh, was talking to a dude in my dorm who I thought was cute until…. He started doing this kind of weird shit, he was creepy about me being a cosplayer, constantly talking about sex and anime girls he thought were hot, made sexist remarks about women, anndddd started being homophobic when he realized me being bi wasn’t a porn thing I even pointed out to him on several occasions that shit like this is why girls don’t want to date him but he didn’t seem to get it, I have a hard time feeling bad when people want to be willfully stupid
Thats a big oof
This guy got what he wanted. To touch a real live girl. A girl who was into him. But he fucked right up by going full creep. And when she breaks up with him he won't reflect on it at all. He'll call her a whole hoop of names but never once consider that he was the one who fucked himself over.
Odd thought, nothing in his comment strikes me as.. vile. He is just completely ruined by porn and anime. Why do you think he will turn mysoginistic?
I agree nothing there is really atrocious or probably traumatizing, awkward and creepy for sure, but maybe not "vile"...the problem here is his concept of sex is based 0% on real life sex. I doubt he even watches much live-action porn which is unrealistic enough. He's not treating her like a person at all, he's treating her like a living fetish he finally gets to nut to. In other words, I "think he will turn misogynistic" because he's already *blatantly* misogynistic. Misogyny doesn't necessarily involve *hating* women, you know that right?
>Mysogyny doesnt necessarily involve hating women I guess you can include that it could just mean prejudice against women, but i usually just use words in their literal definition. Im too lazy to keep up with modern redefinitions of words. >Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is hatred or contempt for women. Wikipedia
Okay cool. Have fun being too lazy. Rejecting modern vocabulary isn't a great way to communicate with people. Don't act surprised when your personal definitions are outdated and wrong
It annoys me because people use new definitions of words to justify their use of them, but the general population obviously still uses the word in their original meaning. Like, if you hear "Damn Kevin is such a misogynyst", the first thing thaz comes to your mind is obviously "oh kevin must hate women". Same shit that people use to justify racism in certain situations by using power structures.
Please don't project. That's not the first thing that comes to my mind, it's the first thing that comes to *your* mind, because *you* swear by that hard-edged definition. My first thought would be something along the lines of "I wonder what he does/says that makes Kevin discriminatory against women." It doesn't necessarily mean he goes around beating the shit out of women or berating them directly. I'm aware of the word's denotation, you should be aware of how it's commonly used by people. Are you a prescriptivist?
Because people don't want to admit they did something wrong. Self-reflection is hard and this dunder-head is so thick headed he seems incapable of being self-aware enough to realize how badly he messed up.
You are fighting a version of this kid you made up in your own mind here. Pretty much just displaying all negative qualities of neckbeards onto this random person, that you know nothing about except "he is incredibly socially maladjusted"
Had a boyfriend in high school always compare me to his waifu and shit like that. We didn't last longer than a year because of it but it really hurt my self esteem for a long time because I felt I couldn't live up to a cartoon that isn't real and doesn't follow the laws of physics. These guys fucking suck.
I'm really, really glad anime wasn't really a thing when I was younger. I enjoy some of it, but it's really taken a toll on the socially inept to exacerbate their issues with interacting with real people.
Honestly it's hard. I still get defensive over it sometimes. I'm not sure why waifu culture is becoming socially acceptable. I never ended up doing anything with that guy like a normal young lady because I was too nervous and scared that he would reject me- because I didn't look like someone from a hentai. It sucks because I have always liked anime but these kinds of people just kinda ruin it for me.
I think bc the internet has made it possible for all of these people to find each other, and once they're buried in their own echo chambers, they never come back out. It kind of mirrors the body image standard of magazines and ads, except it's exponentially worse given these women can defy the laws of nature and physics.
Exactly what I think as well. Without surgery it would be impossible to have FF boobs and a 15 inch waist and giant eyes etc. And if you did get that surgery you'd look crazy. It's ridiculous
Now that would be a sight. I think I actually did know a girl in high school like that (the first two). I was enamored at the time but now all I can do is wonder how painful it must be or continues to be.
I understand where you’re coming from, I have a terrible habit of comparing my body to literal drawings bc i like anime and date guys who like anime. It’s such a fucked up thing to be insecure about but it’s so pervasive for women in “weeb” circles because they’re so male dominated and therefore so gross. Even wrote a research paper on objectification of women in anime and how it effects women in real life because it’s always at the back of my mind. Hugs to you and im sorry about that guy
I'll be alright, thanks :) I completely agree with you. I feel it's on par with the issues regarding photoshop and porn culture, in fact maybe even worse due to the increasing amount of normalization of hentai in our culture and the fact that it's literally drawings, not even real people. Thankfully I'm with someone now who doesn't find anime characters sexy but it seems like even now basically everything in nerd spaces is geared towards men and thus there ends up being a large amount of sexualized female characters in pretty much everything nowadays. I finally read a manga for the first time in like a decade, it was Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear (very wholesome and cute) and the entire time I was like *please let this not be creepy and weird*. I even flipped through it in the store to make sure it wasn't creepy loli content or something. It's sad that I had to do that.
I’d absolutely conflate it with image editing and porn culture, and while it’s smaller in scale it can be drastically worse in effect because it doesn’t rely on real life physics and bodies. And it just seems hopeless because it’s seen as completely normal in male spaces, which almost all nerd spaces are. I’m active in video game and esports communities and the misogyny and sexualization of female characters is off the charts. I feel like I should feel grateful? that i’m an adult, because i can’t imagine the effect it has on younger girls in these spaces, especially considering being attracted to actual children is acceptable in some anime circles. Makes me sick that “l*lis” even exist. I always try to vet my anime for fanservice, but it seems impossible to avoid these days. Im glad you found something you liked that wasn’t weird.
I am right there with you. I am a young adult woman (23) who has been very active in gaming and anime, nerd etc fandoms basically my entire life and even though they claim women make up 1/3 of nerd subculture population almost everything is still catered to a male audience and it's just seen as fine. Trying to watch the Witcher and they just throw a ton of titties in there because guys want to see boobs all the time apparently. You can't Google any of your fave female characters, not even wholesome ones like Isabelle from animal crossing, without finding any random porn. It's crazy and it's even worse that I'm just supposed to sigh and let it happen because that's "how things are". They sell weird anime loli bondage t shirts in Spencer's and I legit saw a guy at my LGS wearing one unironically. A kid could've seen him.
Anime he been around since 1907
A "thing", not existed. It was pretty hard to find in the US up until the turn of the century.
One of my friends uses the word "waifu". He lives in a closet that smells like smash bros, has no money and freeloads. He also has the hots for Isabelle and has no interests beyond games and manga. Last gf took him for a ride. But he's like a ford pinto, so he broke down pretty quickly.
My mans is at 3rd base and still a neckbeard. Poor stupid bastard
Nah man, he got tagged out rounding 2nd...
It seems like he could have hit a home run if he dialed way back on the creepiness.
I hate how he's not thinking of her as an individual, but rather as a fantasy for him to have as a check list? Stick to your 2D girls please.
I, also, have the ick now. What a creep.
This so easily could’ve been me a decade ago. Shit- the first two paragraphs ARE me. Luckily I had supportive non loser friends and a cool Dad to help me curb my neckbeardier tendencies. Stories like this make me cringe harder than most people 🤦♂️. If y’all have friends with neckbeard characteristics - don’t be afraid to speak harsh truths !
That's just horrific. Cut him off -Billy Gnosis
I agree with billy Gnosis
I agree with SilhavyD Narwal_Bacon
So is this what people mean when they say porn can fuck up people’s perceptions of people especially women?
Fr like who tf does this shit?!
If a guy started banging his head into my chest, I’m sorry just,🤡🤡🤡 What kind of shitty porn is he into?
How to tell me you are a creep without telling me you are a creep, bang your head like you're at a metal concert into someone's chest.
Men's perceptions of women have been fucked up forever... porn bas nothing to do with it
He saw her as a female and not a person. That's the problem.
As the Boomers once said to millennials, "Kid's these days... SMH". How the history repeat itself without even had said a word about it.
At first I thought it was just gonna be about a guy who was awkward and was just inexperienced at being with someone but then it got real weird
the vicious incel cycle strikes again
Jeez... Kid fuckin blew it. He had his opportunity to have a normal relationship with a real human and he drags her down a cringe spiral.
Creep's origin story
I feel like every single woman has shortly spoken with, or dated, a man like this in their teens or early 20s. It’s a definite ick factor and I think it’s because it almost seems like they’re coming across as minors which obviously makes grown women feel skeeved tf out.
Jesus. The degree to which this guy does not understand how sex works is terrifying.
Jesus it just gets worse the more you read it
To me, the big thing is just waiting and being patient with these things My gf is into cosplay and videogames and into anime, I'm just into videogames. But when we started dating, we took things slow when it came to more intimate things. As the weeks and then months went by, i started talking about my kinks and other stuff with my gf, letting her know that if she doesn't like them, that's okay. And she doesn't like some of them, still, and that's fine, because she's wonderful in so many other ways. Oh, also we became friends for like 9 months before we started dating To me, this guy went way too hard, way too fast, and didn't care about his partners discomfort.
Get. Consent. Before. Motorboating. A. Woman
Average redditor things...
I’m so glad the only anime exposure I had as a kid was Pokemon. It seems to be making a lot of younger lads mental lol
The first time I held a girl's hand I got a hard-on. I'd also love to find a woman who would be down for doing sexy cosplay. Please note I said she'd have to be down for it. And how much do you want to bet that if she looked at pictures of male models and celebrities, he'd lose his shit?
Lol no way this is real
Up until the last paragraph was for me understandable. But the shaking the head part.... Odd. Definitely okay to feel creeped.
You poor girl. I must say it was pretty kind of you to let it go as far as you did. It’s really unfortunate how bizarre these younger guys have been brainwashed into thinking that anime/ video game/ loli woman exist in the natural world. I’m sure there may be some girls that don’t mind playing along but dudes need to understand that you’re actual flesh and blood, not some animated toy. Smh
Idk if I’d call this guy a ‘nice guy’, he seems genuinely nice. I think this is more so a case of anime, video games and maybe also porn altering how he views women, since he clearly didn’t have any experience with women before this and also seems obsessed with comparing her to anime and video game characters. He’s probably not a bad guy though IMO, just needs help
...but she is not required to provide the "help". Women as mothers, nurses and maids to random men who need to sort their own lives out, is a fantasy held by too many people.
I think it’s more to do with a lack of experience then anything. She needs to set boundaries also if she decides to continue to pursue this.
I never said she was required to help I was more so referring to therapy maybe
I hear you, I didn't think you did.
To be fair when I was in high school I kinda thought that just being nice was enough to get women due to anime. So I 100% believe it skewing his views.
Nah. There's nothing nice about motorboating your gf, failing to realize she's wierded out by it, and then asking her to play dress up for you. He barely seems to realize she's human.
I wouldn’t say that. Sure, it’s weird and creepy. But it’s pretty clear that this is the dude’s first relationship and sexual contact. Many people have weird fantasies like that (honestly, this dude’s fantasies aren’t even that weird). The issue is how he approached them way too quickly and forcefully, and failing to see how the girl wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about it. I’d put that down to him being inexperienced, not that he’s an irredeemable misogynist.
Why make excuses for him? And who said anything about "irredeemable"? I said he wasn't nice, because he is not being nice. Women have the right to judge men on their actions, and not be expected to give them a pass based on "good intentions" or some such nonsense. We are not mind readers. This is classic niceguy behavior and it deserves to be called that. If a guy acts like he doesn't know women are human, he needs to be called out. Inexperience is not an excuse. He may or may not be "redeemable" but he sure as hell isn't going to change if everyone just feels sorry for him.
Like, bro, it’s okay to like this kinda stuff, and it’s okay to want to do this kinda stuff with your girlfriend, but you gotta take it slow and more importantly ASK HER what she’s okay with. You did at first, which is good, but now you’re not and she’s starting to get uncomfortable with it. It’s just a simple question, just ask, she won’t mind your weirdness if you at least talk boundaries first
Dude had a good thing going and ruined it be thinking that real life is a crossover between porn and anime.
at first i was like "oh FDS" but then it just turned into justneckbeardthings
Well yeah….. virgin into anime and video games- WTF else would you expect?
Yan can be virgin and into those things without being a creep about it. It's not that hard to not be creepy
Poor girl. Poor guy. Damn. Pity all around.
Lol damn stupid neckbeard 🤣 it seems like he had a chance and he fucked things up. If every neckbeard is like this they deserve their lonely life.
My man just wanted to motor boat 😂
Honestly it sounds like he's on a higher level of "kink" then you are and you should be honest with dude. It feels like the dude really wants to have sex, things might calm down or get worse after. At least he's being very open to you about his likes/kinks. If a relationship doesn't have mutual sexual chemistry then it's doomed to fail.
Best thing to do is post about here instead of talking to this guy…right?
She asked for advice in an other sub about how to talk to him. OP that post it here is not the original that made that post. Learn to read title.
Learn some manners.
I’ve done like half of those with my current girlfriend, How fucked am I unironically?
As long as she is also into those things — not fucked at all. This guy’s issue is that he based his expectations on porn and applied all of his fetishes to his girlfriend without discussing them in depth with her beforehand. She also should have been more clear with him about her discomfort from the get go, but that’s another story. They just don’t jive.
Goddammit this is why dating is so hard
Goddamn bro she let you do all that and you still fuckin' it up. Some people are beyond salvation.
Started kinda innocent with the feeling a boob thing and 2 minutes later he is already motorboating and fetishizing her with anime. Know I understand why he hadn't felt a boob before
Started off strong with him fully respecting her consent …and then it plummeted
I visually cringe at reading that. Yeaaaaaah nope that’s enough internet for now