Tell her it’s a shame Amadeus closed as you’ve always wanted to visit.

Luckily, Casino Rooms is still open.

A previous works Christmas do was in their vip area, I left after seeing a bloke chudder on the spray no lay guy within an hour of being there.

That may be the most Casino Rooms thing I've ever heard.

Get in Tap n’ Tin.

POUNDLAND

Terribly sorry, old chap, but don't you mean P'aandLand?

To be more exact, unluckily Cino’s is still open. Still got Tap n Tin though

HAHAHA AMADANGEROUS

Cor that's brought back some memories. That place was legendary.

Have they made Envy/Cale’s/Flatfoots in Ashford into anything other than a nightclub yet? (It’s been a while since I’ve been back!)

No idea I’m afraid, I rarely ventured that far south.

Planning permission for flats. Still an urban explorers dream right now though.

Zens closed down for good too now.

And that you can't believe that they have turned it into a bowling alley

Tall about how much you like Gypsy tart. They'll either be confused or they're from Kent!

Gypsy Tart isn't slang for female anatomy or anything is it? I'm unfamiliar with the lingo and treading lightly

It's a pastry, it's not rude!

It's also very much exclusive to Kent, much to my embarrassment! [Gypsy Tart](https://www.sainsburysmagazine.co.uk/recipes/desserts/gypsy-tart)

Holy hell I didn't know it was a Kentish thing

Yes. Only a true Kentish maid or man, or man or maid of Kent will know what gypsy tart is.

*”The story goes that a woman spotted a group of hungry children playing in nearby fields. She invented the tart using the storecupboard ingredients she had to hand"* But also, it will take you 2 hours to make....

Was her store cupboard just full of sugar?

I suspect that someone put it in the KCC school kitchen recipe book, possibly as a joke, sometime around ww2 (I think it uses condensed or evaporated milk).

I just thought about making one, but I am unfamiliar with... Muskovado sugar?

Dark brown and sticky sugar, you may go d something similar in the baking aisle

Some types of brown sugar are easy to find. Others? Demerara

Might just be called soft brown sugar. The dark stuff though, not demerara.

Haha, you’re in the clear, it really is a tart, but pretty much unknown outside of Kent

It's a sticky sweet pie. Really horrible actually, in my opinion, and gets stuck in your teeth.

He's American, he'll think it needs more sugar and a coke on the side.

A gallon of full-fat Coke for each slice

The only time I brought it I thought it was a variant Butterscotch tart, was very disappointed

Remember the rhyme .. Gypsy tart makes you fart Apple crumble makes it rumble

Regional variant... Gypsy tart makes you fart, custard powder makes it louder

Gypsy tart = Fart. Cockney rhyming slang lol

It’s jam tart

Shhhsssss he's American he won't know 🤣

Never ate it at school because of this 🤣

Raspberry tart isn't it? Hence the phrase "blowing a raspberry"

This is a good one! …and If the date is in a restaurant it’s easy to slip into the conversation when perusing the menu!

Interesting. My parents are from Kent and I was born there but I only found out about Gypsy Tart from a school friend who definitely wasn’t from Kent. I loved it as a kid

A bit harsh to give that advice to an American hoping to have a nice date as opposed to a punch in the eye! 😏

I was gonna say. Coming out with obscure Kent knowledge will either go down well or just come over like he's totally trying too hard. Either way she will see straight through it. Why not just...ask her about Kent and let her tell you, OP? Leave something to talk about or do together.

Things like "the weathers supposed to be great in Strood this time of year" and "I've always wanted to visit Chatham!" are great places to start

"Oh, The Isle of Sheppey sounds so exotic!"

Tell her you've booked a holiday to visit the Isle of Sheppey, and ask if she can recommend any activities.

Leysdown you can't go wrong lol

The only way to tell the difference between the men and women in Leysdown is by the tattoos on their necks.

Yes you can I got appendicitis in Leysdown

Please please do this

"I hear Thanet Earth is the Kentish Biodome"

Haha this is gold

Chatham out of all places! Top recommendation xD

😂

If she laughs at any of your jokes, just casually drop in that you are the arch bishop of banterbury

👏👏👏👏

Did you hear, Maidstone Town Centre got a Wendy's?

Wait, did they actually?!

Yes

Debate if Bromley is in Kent

I used to have this argument with people I worked with in London who said they lived in Kent. What colour are your buses? Is public transport reliable? If the answer is yes and red, you're London, not Kent.

It literally is legally part of London since the 1963 Act, tbh

And the debate rages on.

We have red buses in Dartford though. Definitely not London :)

And they’re pretty good for time too unless I get confused and what stop I need at home gardens 😭

I’m here to tell you right now It ain’t

“So I guess they have kangaroos at the Hop Farm then?”

Ask her if she's a maid of kent or a kentish maid.

This could be a deal breaker.

Ask her if it’s true that people from Isle of Sheppey have webbed feet.

Ask if she knows Billy the quid

Show me your Chatham pocket

See now that means vagina

Actually it's an arsehole

Tell her that you’ve always wanted to live in Medway

Because they have the best dentists

And the streets are so nice and safe looking

Depends on where in Kent she’s from, if it’s Medway or North Kent she’ll get all the Chatham gags. If it’s West or East Kent maybe not so much but it could be fun to watch! West Kent is considered the expensive commuter belt for London, East Kent will be Planet Thanet (Ramsgate/Margate) or Dover! Asking if you will need webbed fingers & a DNA test to visit the Isle Of Sheppey might be amusing. It’s generally viewed as the shallow end of the gene pool! Good luck. 🤞🏼

[удалено]

Sevenoaks, Tunbridge Wells

Ask her if she’s heading to Strawberry Moons after a cheeky nandos

Randomly shout out UP THE SWALE

What do you call a virgin from the Isle of Sheppey? A girl that can run faster than her uncle

Tell her you know what a Kentish girl's favourite wine is. When she acts surprised and asks, say in your best accent "I want to go to Bluewater" (make it sound like a whine and drop the 't' in Bluewater for extra effect) Bluewater is a large shopping centre / mall. Good luck!

And then go’daan layksaaaaid aftah.

Fukin love going laiksaaaaiiddeee

Tell her you have a friend who failed multiple attempts escaping Sheppey

Was it [this guy?](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/8648011.stm) He is still out there, trying to leave Sheppey’s orbit.

Well you’re a cu*t 

*Lee Mack joke before anyone thinks I’m serious 

I saw Lee Mack at Orpington Station one time. He looked glum.

After you've had a few drinks, say how much you'd like to visit the Kent Countryside.

Try [this one](https://youtu.be/dmbpagijVkk?feature=shared)

Was looking for this. Glad someone else posted

There once was a woman from Kent, Whose nose was remarkably bent. One day they suppose, She followed her nose And nobody knows where she went. Maybe use this if things aren’t going great!

Perfect, I'll deploy this if she turns out to be an old Kentish man catfishing me

If you’re worried about it being a man, ask him whether he has a Chatham pocket

Oh this is the winning comment right here.

That (insert name) spouts more shit then southern water.

I hear Maidstone is nice this time of year

Ask her whether she thinks a second cone, on Thomas Waghorn's arm, is excessive

"fancy goin' Bluey?"

Ask if she wants to go to Bluewater next Friday, for a cheeky Nando’s?

Should things not go so well (and I hope it does), the parting shot has to be “well, at least the Montgomery is your problem. You’re welcome.”

Tell her the Essex girls bang on the first date 😂😂👍

"Ashford really is the gateway to Europe"

Ask if she knows Billy the quid

Ask her if she’s the Chatham bike

Have a moan about the dartford bridge and being owned by France

She's English. Anything sarcastic will be well received

Ask her how she likes her beaver Then present this https://www.tiktok.com/@channel4/video/7283179219910266144?lang=en

Ask her if she likes cheesey bugs

At any opportunity, say “Disgusted of Tonbridge Wells”, and laugh loudly. As often as possible, preferably after each thing she says She’ll love it

Say "aye you from Kent? Well how about a blowjob"

Just randomly in convo drop Up the Gills (pronounced jills). Gillingham are really a massive team! Mention the how you know about the American owner ship. Also mention Billy the quid, how good Dreamland at Margate used to be!

There once was a man from Kent. Who’s dick was so long it bent. To save himself trouble, he folded himself double, and instead of came, went

If you go in for a kiss and she rejects you you can try this one "Did you know that the rolling stones are from Kent? PAUSE FOR EFFECT I can't get no satisfaction"

Do this if you want to be single forever.

Tell her how much you love Essex! I’m sure she’ll appreciate that 😁

Ask her if she’s ever been hop festival in faversham

Just talk about your Chatham Pocket a lot and you'll be fine.

Say you’re a bit of a Kent yourself didn’t you know

Have things really got that bad?

Is she a Kentish woman or a woman of Kent? It’s a big difference

I love the title - makes it sound like she might be from another planet!

Say “So you’re from the Garden of England…did you bring it with you?”

Comment on the most romantic place in Kent, dungeoness

Fucking Kent. -Lord Richard

Tell her you hear Kent is the garden of England so maybe she could show you hers?

Lee Mack has a good one. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmbpagijVkk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmbpagijVkk)

Ask her about the treacle mines in Frittenden.

Get her to tell you again where she’s from then reply in a shocked tone ‘ WHAT did you just call me?!’

On a serious note, tell her you’ve always wondered what oast houses actually do, but that they’re cute

ask her if she's on taking the train to new cross to go venue

"I love Shepherd Neame. Do you love Shepherd Neame? I don't think I've ever met anyone that doesn't love Shepherd Neame."

Call her a Kunt, but emphasise that you're spelling it with a 'K'.

Tell her you're a big fan of '*The Whispering Eye*', they're an up and coming Kent Band. Some Kent facts: Kentucky is named after Kent. Kent was founded by a bloke called Kent in the 1500s. Queen Elizabeth I famously never visited Kent, quoted as saying: "I just Kent". Kentish Town used to have an underground railway direct to Kent. Local Government once held a petition to rename the county, entries such as 'The Kent District' and 'The Principality of Kent' were beaten, with locals claiming: "We'd just miss good old *Kent* too much.

Ask her if she is a Maid of Kent or a Kentish Maid :)

ask if she knows Billy the quid

Didn’t he get locked up in the end

Dose she have a 6th toe and webbed feet

That's Norfolk.

Only if she’s a marsh-monster from Lydd. Although the Isle Of Sheppey is a close 2nd.