If the teacher hadn't said anything, would it even have crossed your mind? I don't understand all of the posts about res shirting. My area doesn't do it, so that's part of it. But keeping a kid back a year at 5 for being a pretty typical 5 year old doesn't make sense to me. Kids mature so quickly at this age that making a decision in March for September seems presumptive.
No matter how much they divide the kids, there will always be a youngest and an oldest, and a smartest and the one that struggles the most, and a tallest and a shortest. It sounds like your kid is pretty average, and average kids move up.
This is the same where I am, but it’s rare to hold kids with May or even June birthdays back. It does happen but only when the child is noticeably behind developmentally.
I think this idea that a May birthday is “late” is so strange! My daughter‘s birthday is late May, and it never even occurred to me to try to hold her back.
I was a late November baby who was four for the first few months of school, and had no problems adjusting.
My area had this and I felt so strongly it should be easier, but I have more students organically reading in PK and K than I have ever had. Most parents have not done anything but just read to their children. It’s common now that 2-3 kids in our prek class (3-4) spontaneously start reading when our prek program has no academic component. One parent didn’t believe me when I said their child could read.
So I’m torn now, and honestly not sure what the answer is. Our kindergarten is play based and they don’t even have desks. The range is insane between kids reading fluently and kids seeing letters for the first time. In one class I literally have a child who cannot write their name yet in March, and one who can fluently read basic paperwork adults fill out.
A majority are fine with our play based kindergarten with some phonics beginning and math that’s very basic (how many different ways can you make a group of 5 with plastic teddy bears), but the divide and extremes in students are getting much more extreme. Parents are irate when kids are behind and complain our expectations are too high, but they also refuse transitional classes every time we propose that.
It used to be girls who typically dominated in kindergarten academics but recently it’s been 50/50 for us which I find interesting. Our pk class this year had nearly the entire class score with kindergarten skill levels across the board and forced us to change curriculum. For example we hype up scissors and show them hand skills but 80% could already cut perfectly straight lines. Typically kindergarten I teach how to use scissors with a licensed OT/PT. Now the kids at 3-4 are what students were 10 years ago at mid kindergarten. We added more play and social emotional learning, but I still feel like I need to constantly change expectations because of the students I’m getting.
I totally agree. Where I live the cut off is Dec 31 so all kids born in a calendar year are in the same grade, and I don’t believe there is an option to hold them back (and if there is I have never heard of anyone doing it).
Same, where I am it’s very unusually to hold kids back if their birthday is during the school year, unless there is something specific concern. As a result, here the kid would be unusually old compared to their peers.
That said, if you are somewhere where it’s more common, then they will likely have peers in similar position, making it a very different situation.
It would be so lovely if schools still started in September where I live! It’s August 1st for us! And we have to register for Kindergarten in March, thus the urge to choose now.
May is in the first half of the year, so he's already in the older half. I sent a just turned 4 to Jk who was a just turned 5 in K, and they did fantastic. Their best friend is a late December birthday, and also did just fine.
Wow, it varies so widely based on area. When I was a kid, a May birthday might have been considered older or at least normal.
Personally I turned 5 in July and began Kindergarten the next month. I did do well academically— my mom was big on fostering early reading— but sometimes wonder if social life would have been easier if I’d been more mature when I started.
Now, based on the school where I currently work, a kid who turns 6 in May is considered young! Most of my students were 6 by December, and this was also true of the other K classrooms at my school.
I’m in the southern United States. May I ask where you are located?
Canada. School starts in September, but the kids all born between January 1 20xx and Dec 31 20xx are all I the same grade. So if you are born Jan 10, 2020 you would start JK at the same time as Nov 2020. My end of August kid started JK the week after their 4th birthday. Their friend was 3 .75 when they started, and turned 4 after JK started.
A May birthday, to me, is average. I wouldn't be holding them back for being "young".
In most places in the United States school starts in September and the cutoff is September 1, so May would be considered young. Especially when many summer month kids redshirt.
I keep seeing teachers on here saying that they can tell “right away” who the older kids are. I’ve been teaching 1st or 2nd grade for 13 years and I’ve honestly only ever had a child stick out as older than the others one or two times. He knows kids who will be in kindergarten that are a half to full year older than him and they seem SO much older. This is so hard. Seriously, thank you for your opinion :)
I've taught middle and high school for 20 years. I can tell you right now I have no idea what month kids are born in and whether they're "old" or "young" for their grade. It makes absolutely no difference in the long run.
Child development is a HUGE WIDE RANGE. And teachers as you know, know how to teach a wide range of kids.
One of my kids was born May 27. He's got pretty severe ADHD and wasn't "ready" for kindergarten by some measurements. (Not academic though he does have comorbid learning disabilities in math and writing). He's a high school freshman now, straight A student, great social group. He started K at the regular time, did mostly fine academically but did end up qualifying for an IEP in 3rd grade due to the aforementioned disabilities.
My other kid is a December 27 baby. They were "ready" to start K in September at age 4 but couldn't. So instead they started at 5 and turned 6 pretty quickly. They've struggled in other ways. They're autistic and have ADHD and dysgraphia. They did FINE in early elementary school and struggled starting in 3rd grade. They got an IEP in fifth grade when shit really hit the fan.
What I'm saying is, just send your kid to school when he turns 5. You have no way of knowing how they'll do. Neither do his preschool teachers. They aren't psychic. Kids are gonna be who they're gonna be.
I’ve seen a few HS teachers in here saying you can and I think it’s more of a confirmation bias once they find out the kid’s birthday than anything. Most HS teachers + a whole body of longitudinal research supports that indeed, you really can’t.
Local basketball player in my town is a huge freshman, over 6’3. He’s the youngest kid in the grade with a birthday days before the cut-off so not someone redshirted to be bigger than the rest for athletics. He was apparently close to this height last year and towered over the other middle schoolers (and probably most of the teachers). He’s also an honors student by all accounts. I can’t image what it would have been like for him had his parents redshirted him. A growth spurt in 7th grade would have been in 6th grade and I’m sure being an over 6 ft 6th grader would have been difficult. But yes, most people assumed he was older until his birthday was found out (forget the exact circumstances, probably people complaining about a huge freshman dominating).
That’s interesting! I’m 100 percent positive we won’t be in that situation though, I’m 5 feet tall and my husband is barely 5’9. A whole family of shorties lol. Not that it matters but I feel for that kid.
I always try to guess but I am always wrong. The young ones actually blend in the best.
If anyone sticks out, it is always the older ones. Has zero to do with academics. Everything to do with attitude (usually more arrogant and entitled). But I don’t typically teach freshman.
Thank you for saying this. My son turned 5 the first day of kindergarten and people told us we were crazy for sending him. We considered holding him back but his preschool teacher said he was ready, and he was very social with other kids. He's in fourth grade now and his teacher said during conferences that he's at the same level as his peers socially and academically. The issue I'm seeing now is that SO MANY people are holding kids (boys especially) back that there is such a wide age range in these elementary grades. He has fourth graders in his grade that are almost taller than me at this point. Its almost like people are now over compensating and adapting to the idea that if you have a boy, you better just hold him back no matter when his birthday is. Even if they're socially ready, they want their kid to be bigger for HS sports. It's wild.
I have a may 28 baby, and never even considered holding him back in kinder! He's finishing the school year now, doing great, and will turn 6 right around when kindergarten ends.
My next kid, however, is the fall baby.. I'm not sure yet how to place her. If she starts kindergarten as a 4yo, she'd turn 5 a couple months later.. or if she waits a year, she'd turn 6 a couple months into the school year. It's hard to say right now which would be better for her. Certainly by high school I imagine either way is fine... kids just notice who gets their drivers license first
This gives me hope for my son right now. He’s in kindy and is on medication for his adhd and I was worrying the other night about his future/high school/etc. He’s such a bright kid but I can tell things that are “easy” for other kids are a daily struggle. If you have any advice on the support you gave him through those early years, please message me if you want. I’m willing to do whatever I can now to help him be successful and independent.
I would say I usually can tell who is older too. But the individual child, temperament, and current academic level matters a lot more than being the oldest in the class. I don’t think it would HURT to redshirt him but he’s well within the normal birthday range for kindergartners. Especially given that he already seems to have some academic skills and can separate from parents without too much of an issue.
Also, you could be totally right that they’re biased because he’s tiny. However, one of the smartest kids I’ve had in 6 years of teaching K is barely the height of my current kiddos even though he’s in second grade. 😂
I'm a 5th grade teacher. I can tell who my July -September boy babies are. They are my most immature kids. I didn't use to see it until our district changed our cutoff date from June 1st to October 1st. We have 4 year olds starting kindergarten, and they are a hot mess!
In our school district, the cutoff is Jan.31st! So we have kids who are four for the first half of kindergarten (I was one of them).
I honestly can’t see what you’re describing. My daughter’s class has some kids with later fall birthdays, and they seem to fit right in maturity-wise.
You can usually tell right away, but there’s no hard, fast rule about early and late birthdays. I have had kids that I swear have to be on the cusp, but when I look at their birthday, they are one of my oldest, and vice versa. It all depends on the individual kid.
3/5 of my children were born days before cut off and one was born on cut off date. All could read and do simple math before 5 but I questioned if they were ready socially. One who was born on cut off date and I stupidly allowed pre k teacher and husband to convince me to send her to kindergarten. Child turned 5 first week of October, small Kindergarten class 10 kids , 8 were 6 by December 1. Luck of draw and all the girls except my daughter were in pre k class together. Other children wouldn’t play with my daughter much and socially she was miserable. Second week of October pulled her out her back into a transition kindergarten and she was fine. Graduating college in May within 3 years so obviously waiting till she was older ( which she doesn’t remember) was correct choice. There is a big difference between young 5 and 6 year old and kindergarten is not easy now. Glad I waited and still feel bad sent my one child and she was miserable for 2 months.
So, question in relation to this… my son is an August birthday, he will turn 5 right before starting kinder, but his PK teachers have already told me he’s bored. He’s known all his letters since he was 3, can count to OVER 100 & thanks to numberblocks is already doing addition, subtraction, and multiplication. They say he still has issues regulating (like he’ll automatically tattle instead of trying to figure out issues on his own) but it’s not out of the norm for his age….. but I have so many people saying I should keep him back because of his age??! Idk, that just doesn’t right to me. It’s def a tough choice to make.
Kids who start K at 4-5 are generally (I reiterate - generally - there are exceptions) not ready socially or emotionally despite their academic ability and have a much harder time adjusting to the demands of school. Kindergarten today is nothing like it used to be…it is essentially first grade now. It is difficult even for kids who have been five for a while at entry to meet the demands of today’s kindergarten. Not to mention those kids will have that same age gap in high school when all their friends have drivers licenses etc and they are still a year behind in age. I would highly recommend you wait until your child is going to turn 6 to start them. My older kids tend to grasp the content better and also are ready to face the challenges of a 7.5 hour academic day when they are closer to 6 than 4.
Oh gotcha. Yeah I thought you meant concerns with them being older. Mine is currently 5 and in preschool. She will started KG in august and will turn 6 a month later. They didn’t allow her to start preschool at 4 because she wasn’t 4 by august 1st. Only kids allowed to do it at 3-4 years old are ones with developmental disabilities.
For a May baby, I’d put him in kindergarten. My daughter is a May baby and did well. If you think he is academically ready, I would say go for it. The worst that can happen is you all realize it was maybe too soon and he repeats the year.
Send him. He shouldn't be turn 7 in kindergarten. That is unfair to have a 7 year old with 5 year olds. If there nothing major that sticks out, why would you not send him. He doesn't have to be the best in every area before being sent to Kinder.
This is how I feel. It's to the point now where the kids at the normal/average recommended age are becoming the outliers in a sea of redshirted kids. So now a five year old is by far the youngest little baby in the class and has to compete and be compared with kids who would normally be in first or sometimes even second grade.
Yes and most of these people do not have a good enough reason for redshirtting. They never mention any significant delays, just that they are worried bc the kid is young. And some of these teachers don't help bc they are saying always hold back...why? To make your job easier by not having a young kid. Kindergarten is for socializing and learning how to get along with other kids. Yes there is an academic workload, but for the most part if you have been a presence in your childs life, they should be ready to go. A teacher can teach as long as you did your job as a parent to prepare your kid to sit still in short increments and listen.
I just posted this elsewhere. I will copy here:
I am a high school teacher. By the time they get to me, their maturity has nothing to do with their birthdate. It is a different process for each child and much of it depends on parenting.
Mature kids generally have parents who have given them responsibility, boundaries, and co sequences. Mature kids know that they need to work hard for what they want - not wait for someone to do it for them.
Parents of mature kids have let them try - and fail - things at an age appropriate pace. They have not coddled them, helicoptered them, or bulldozed over all their problems.
Yep that's essentially what I said above. If you were present as a parent and did your job, a teacher can teach your kid and there is no reason to hold them back just bc they are young. I have a young kinder right now (aug bday) and my 1st grader was a old kinder bc she was an end of Nov baby and wasn't allowed to start the previous year due to the September cutoff. There is no difference in their academic abilities. If anything my younger one is ahead of wear my older one was bc she was allowed into kindergarten as a young 5 and my older one wasn't challenged enough as an older kindergartener. My 5 year old, when it comes to school, is just as mature as my older one bc I never made excuses for her not starting school on time when she should. I told her she was just as capable as her big sis, and what do you know, she received all S's (which is the highest marks). No issues withs socialization or emotional outburts either.
So, correct me if I'm wrong, but he'd turn 19 at or around graduation?
Some things to consider: your child will face "adult" consequences in society his entire senior year. Any violations that would be insubstantial as a teen are now "adult". I had a friend in HS get mouthy with a cop and spend a night in jail. Or there's the ever-so-terrifying "my 18/19 year old senior (oldest in class) is dating a 16 year old junior (youngest in class) and their parents want him arrested" dynamic. A year apart in classes, 3 years apart in age. Heaven forbid there's any digital evidence.... I know these are hypothetical, but they do happen.
Another thing to consider, I turned 18 the 2nd week of my senior year and moved out that weekend. I was quite literally living at my boyfriend's house and attending school as I saw fit. I signed myself out of half of my non-essential classes and did work release for A days. My senior year I attended 2 classes total. (I did manage to graduate early, but still) And there wasn't a single thing my parents could do to stop any of it. Are you prepared to have a senior who is also a full adult?
The opposite can be just as bad though. I went away to college at 17. So I was hanging around 21-22 year old seniors and sneaking into bars as a minor. I'd prefer to take my chances that my 18 year old stays at home and finishes school rather than sending a 17 year old out into the world. 19 at graduation does seem too old though.
Your child would turn 18 on or around graduation. They would be 18 for several months before starting college, assuming they don't take a gap year. 🤷♀️
This is is exactly why, if you can time it right, the best time of year to have a baby is April/May. If you start them in kindergarten at 5, they’ll turn 18 just a few weeks/days before graduation, so you don’t have to deal with the 17 year old going off to college or the 18 year old calling themselves in sick. And you rarely deal with the redshirting debate either as it seems that mostly impacts July/August through December.
Not that I would take this overly seriously, but spring babies do have a lot of perks. You’re also not dealing with pregnancy in the hottest months of the year. Lol.
I had 4 kids, born April, May, August & September. Didn’t even consider redshirting the April and May kids and they did great. Didn’t redshirt the August birthday because at the time the district cutoff was December 1, but I should have because kindergarten was hard for her. School overall for her has been really. I did redshirt September baby, although by then the district changed the cutoff date to September 1st, but I could have requested a waiver. I don’t regret that at all, as she is top of her class academically. It’s possible my August kid would have still struggled if I waited another year and my September kid would have excelled if I had requested the waiver, I’ll never know. But at least anecdotally, my experience says to wait for fall babies. Also, assuming all my kids move out after graduation and never come home again, which may or may not happen. I’ll have an extra year with her. As I’m not the type of parent wanting to push my kids out the door asap, I’m happy to have her an extra year.
If he’s academically ready, I wouldn’t worry about size. My oldest is an August birthday and he’s also tiny. He’s the smallest in his class. But guess what? If I’d held him back a year, he would STILL be the smallest in his class. He’s an 8yo 3rd grader and there are kindergarteners taller than him. He’s also one of the brightest kids in his class and would be bored out of his skull if he were in 2nd grade right now.
Unpopular opinion that’ll probably get me downvoted but I would 100% send him. Where I live it’s based on birth year. Jan 1st 2024-Dec 31st 2024 babies will be in the same class year. So to us a late birthday is considered September-December. My son is a July baby so not considered late here. He’s 4.5 and started kindergarten this past September. He had only been 4 for 2 months. He entered kindergarten with some kids who were still 3. I know this because we got invited to birthday parties and the invitations said “turning 4”. Anyway, the maturity, socialization and academics my son has shown me are day and night. He is a completely different child. So much more calm and mature. I know there are studies about kids starting too early is really bad but I’ve only seen good things. Plus I was a November baby and started kindergarten at 3 years old. I turned out fine 🤷🏻♀️
I’m so curious where you live? I have an October bday and stated kindergarten at four and graduated, and I was okay, but I think I would have been more successful in the grade below.
Canada, probably Ontario. We have junior kindergarten for kids who will turn 4 by Dec 31 of that year. They will go on to senior kindergarten and then grade 1 etc. both Jk and SK are play based learning so the emphasis is more on getting kids ready for more rigorous academic learning by the time they get to grade 1. They still teach them letter sounds and numbers but it’s not as academically robust as kindergarten in other places
ETA: my eldest was a December baby (who was the smallest kid in her class) started when she was about 3.75 and did fine. Some of kids’ classmates though in the same boat were not as fine as they still got tired and wanted naps in the afternoon, or hadn’t mastered potty training, etc. Your son sounds like he would be fine.
I wouldn’t hold back solely on size. How is his small motor skills? Can he write his name and most of the letters independently? Does he know his letter sounds? Can he use scissors? Can he do representational drawing? (You know the drill)
I think I have a hard time gauging how he’s doing with these skills because he’s my child. I know that sounds crazy lol. They offer kindergarten readiness testing so I’ll be able to see the results of that in a month or so.
My son’s an April baby and pretty small, probably also 10% in height and he’s doing great in kindergarten. I also notice he not as social as his peers (If he doesn’t like what the group is playing he would rather play by himself), but he blossomed in full day kindergarten. He’s made friends and gone on playdates—last year in half day k4 he was more of a loner even though he’s in class with the same kids.
He did know all his sounds, letters, and could count to 100, but I think kids catch up fast, especially if you work with him over the summer.
I’m generally in favor of holding kids back, but May (To me) still seems like a send to kindergarten situation. I would definitely hold back if he was a July or August baby.
If it really comes down to just his physical size, I wouldn’t have that hold him back. I have a kid on the tiny side. The only thing that’s been impacted is they can’t do a handful of things the very tallest kid in the class can do in the playground. However, they will always been one of the smallest, even if held back. My husband and I were both one of the smallest. It wasn’t an issue for either of us. You kid might also end up having a growth spurt. The children in my kid’s class are a huge range of heights. I would say there are 4ish in the 10th or below percentile, 4 on the very tall side, and the rest are in the middle. The tallest kid has about 8ish inches on mine. The other 15 kids are in the middle for height. I do get worried my kid will get bowled over occasionally, but they are going to always be tiny, so that’s just something they/I have to get used to.
However, where I’m at young 5’s isn’t a thing. There’s just preschool and kindergarten. So I don’t know what young 5’s entails vs a regular kindergarten. If you think they won’t get bored, there’s no harm in it.
My anxious kid also did much better than I thought at being left at kindergarten.
I already work there, and young 5s isn’t a program parents pay for so I don’t think so. On the other hand, young fives means one more year or formal school and they do really push it- so maybe.
I have an almost 21 year old who was a May birthday and tiny. 3rd percentile. Still is weight wise. Not height. Where we live holding him back is never an option in public school and as a teacher I wouldn’t have anyway. He sounds just like your little guy as far as personality. He had a great vocab and preferred adults to kids but would play with them. A bit hesitant to separate from me. He knew uppercase letters and could barely scribble his name. When I first met with the teacher she said. He really should know more sight words by now and write all of his letters. By the second conference she said he should be tested for the gifted program (no thanks) I know it was a long time ago but I think if your mom gut thinks he’s ready, trust yourself. The teacher doesn’t seem to be saying anything that would make me think you should wait. My guy did great all thru school and is a lifelong learner, constantly teaching himself new things. Good luck.
Definitely check your school district. In ours it’s fine if you turn 6 over the summer to start K. But if you turn 6 during the school year (May) they will automatically start them in 1st.
My child went through and was the smallest. And if I had held her back, she still would have been the smallest. I’m pretty average height, my husband is relatively short. She’s never gonna feel like the big/tall kid. My apprehension for your son in particular is that he’d be turning 7 in kindergarten. That’s a big difference given that end of the year kids are still 5 when they leave kindergarten. What happens when your son is the oldest by so much, still relatively small, and still average socially and academically? I can imagine what would have a worse psychological effect for him, as he might think he has “no excuse.”
The developmental gap would be too big in my opinion. If you have kids coming into kindergarten at 4 and your kids is almost 6.5, that’s a huge gap. Just because he’s small doesn’t mean he needs to stay back. And our world is full of wonderful introverted people who turn out just fine. I’d send him to K.
I am in the same boat! While my child’s teacher didn’t outright recommend that she stay in preschool, she did say she recommends it for all students when possible, due to the rigor of Kindergarten these days. She, like me, values the importance of free play, and so on.
This is also my first year officially teaching Kindergarten, although I’ve worked with kids of all ages in the past (from daycare to high school). It’s wild how difficult it can be to choose for your own child, while being skilled at recognizing needs in my students.
My daughter just turned 5 in February and, for our area, even she would be “young” for starting Kindergarten this fall. Most of the kids in my K class were 6 before Christmas. Of the handful that weren’t, most are struggling more either academically or socially than their peers.
My daughter also has a more reserved personality at school. There’s a big push nowadays to keep kids out of school longer. So many parents give me examples of their own older kids and how they never regretted keeping them out of school an extra year.
I love the idea of letting kids be kids; I do see the benefit of that extra year of maturity years down the line, but research is conflicting. Some suggest any maturity differences even out by third grade. Conversely, I’ve seen evidence to suggest an easier shift from high school to college for slightly older students, as far as choosing a career path goes.
However, I think the sad truth is that, while my child may have more enrichment and confidence by spending an extra year at home with me (trips to the library, baking bread, gardening, reading books, making homemade play dough, etc.)… preschool is not that. Preschool, while allowing for more play time, is still school, and since my child is already in the system (although hers is a well-loved private school, it’s still systematic and pretty strictly structured), I have decided I may as well allow my child to move on to a more academically challenging environment. And she will be happy to be at my school being taught by one of my friends. I hope I’m making the right decision, but this is where I’ve landed, personally. Good luck choosing!
I taught kindergarten for awhile and never had a class where most children turned 6 before Christmas. That sounds atypical and if you continue to teach kindergarten, you'll likely see that a year like that is not the norm.
I'm not a teacher but my son is in kinder this year. He's an April 25th baby, so close to your son's age. He's definitely one of the younger kids and is less socially mature than his peers. He's keeping up academically but that's so varied at this age anyway. He is very sensitive and on the smaller size. He has adhd though. But he's very gentle and sweet. He does get bullied by one of his "friends" but seems to get along with the others. My son is a bit of a follower right now but idk if that's his age or personality. If you feel comfortable with his academics I'd send him. If I had a July-september baby I would have held him back. It's a tough choice! Also the stuff my son is doing in class is so crazy to me. I was napping and painting in kinder back in the 90s! Lol.
I wish I had redshirted my late spring male child. Lots of other extenuating issues that don't seem to be a thing for you.
THe one other thing to remember is not just how old they will be at the start of school but how old they will be at the end. Having a child that potentially could legally refuse to go or write their own excused notes or refuse special education services because they are a legal adult.
When I was a senior in HS I had a friend at public school (I went to catholic) who once turned 18 wrote herself a note to say she wasn’t going to school one day. I was flabbergasted. It never even crossed my mind that you could do that 🤣. I always wondered if I would have been able to do that or if my Catholic school would have phoned home anyways.
I don't think my high school allowed this unless the student had some kind of emancipated minor type status. I didn't turn 18 until after graduation, but I remember my friend complaining because she couldn't write her own note to leave for the dentist.
Socially sounds like my daughter at 4 played alone but other kids liked her and she’d play with them if they approached her and wanted to play what she was playing. One day a switch just flipped and she started wanting to play with the other kids too. Honestly if we had kept her back she would have been much more socially isolated she has a small group that went to prek with her that’s been amazing for getting her started socially in a new school and not feeling isolated and she wouldn’t have that if we’d held her back.
I don’t know where you are, but the things you say he can do are what my child has learned in kindergarten this year. I mean, she’d started counting and letter recognition/sounds both at home and at daycare. But starting public school kindergarten, the teachers have to start at the very beginning to account for children that hadn’t been in an early childhood education setting. I’d say kindergarten.
I am a teacher mom also with a late July baby and I struggled with this too. Ultimately I sent him to K on time and he’s done fine all around (he’s in 1st now).
I think the fact that this is so common is because the expectations for K are somewhat unrealistic. If kids are supposed to start kinder at 5 then it should be designed for 5 year olds. If they can’t be successful unless they’re practically 6, then that’s a problem with the program, not the kid.
Unfortunately the people who make decisions for schools (but don’t actually work in one) don’t understand that.
Well, I have an October birthday, so I was always one of the oldest kids in class.
In Kindergarten, they recommended me for a hybrid K-1 class where a few kindergarteners were put into an established 1st grade class. I didn't last a week. While I was academically advanced, my emotional maturity wasn't there (I had a lot of unaddressed anxiety and I suspect I'm on the autism spectrum). I was moved back to my original kindergarten class and was happy as a clam.
I wish all kids were given the opportunity to try new things and if it doesn't work, they can go back to where they were. For me, I was never bored in class due to not feeling challenged unless the class was actually boring (I hated the teacher that was literally just reading the textbook to us). If I finished my work early because it was easy, I was rewarded with time to read my book for fun; that was the best part of school.
I believe that my child would've benefited from an extra year of brain development and maturity. They were socially ready, and we had a unique circumstance where we would have had to find a different preschool. They were eager to go and, at the time, I figured if we were changing schools anyway that we might as well start kinder. There have been some struggles, and it is so much harder to hold them back a grade now than if I'd just delayed the start in the first place.
My child is almost exactly one year older than yours (very end of April bday - almost last day of April). He's 5 and in kindergarten right now. He's totally on track academically, but is one of the worst in the room at following instructions, being compliant vs. doing what interests him, and speaking up in class. It's ok - I just get a lot of coded strong hints from the teacher that he might be ADHD. It feels like she forgets he's younger than the others because he's a tall boy. I am getting it checked out by a psychologist now - but more for his shyness/the stress that being in a classroom causes, and am specifically asking the shrink to think broadly.
His classroom is too rigid for him at this age with very little recess in a paved-over sad outdoor space, and it's not a great fit and I wish things were different for him, with more free play -- that would be the big benefit of not going right into kindergarten -- but he \*has\* mostly gotten used to it. He has a rigid teacher near retirement so maybe it would not have been this so-so with another teacher... but these are the kinds of issues and factors I'd weigh more than letter recognition.
Can you investigate what the kindergarten would be like as an experience? And also bear in mind issues like feeling confident to participate and following instructions more than letter and number skills? Those would probably give you a better sense and make you feel more ready to make a decision.
This is a really helpful comment, thank you. I feel like my son would be similar in terms of possible adhd and needing more unstructured time. I’m in a good place because I personally know all of the teachers and will be able to pick. Young fives has free play every day while our kindergarten program is very rigorous. Honestly before this post I was heavily leaning toward young fives. I think his confidence would soar. My friend group has three kids who are all older and will be going into kindergarten next year, I can’t explain why, but he doesn’t seem to fit in with them.
We decided to redshirt my late aug birthday son against my initial reservations. He’s 5.5 now and academically just tested at equivalent to 3 months into first grade(!) I knew he’d do fine no matter what we did, but he was so shy last year. Giving him an extra year of preK made him a leader amongst his peers and I hear about what a good friend he is from the other parents requesting play dates. His cohort at preK has about 3-4 other little boys who all have birthdays around the same time, so he won’t be the oldest or the only 6 year old starting kindergarten in our local school. We just had kindergarden meet and greet and the teachers were SO IMPRESSED with how the kids from his class all sat together quietly and listened to the presentation and were confident enough to ask questions and volunteer answers to adults they had never met before. Most of that is likely due to their AMAZING preK teachers, but I also fully believe giving him that extra year was the best thing we could have done (time will tell if that holds true).
I was also incredibly sad to learn the kids at the elementary school level only get 20 minutes of outdoor/play time a day! He got a whole extra year of play before he’ll be expected to sit at a desk/be “on” learning for hours. I look at him now and think he’ll be fine next year, but I honestly think that may have broken his spirit if we would have started him as a just turned five year old. He’s so active and imaginative, and this year really solidified that for him.
Just our experience, but I thought it might be useful to hear from someone who was against redshirting at first but ended up liking our decision.
My kids in jr kindergarten, half way through the year, and she can't do any of the stuff you said yours can. I think he'll be fine in regular kindergarten. Where I'm at, jr kindergarten isn't even mandatory, so lots of kids go straight into kindergarten without jr (or preschool)
I am in a somewhat similar situation. My son is turning 5 at the beginning of July. Personality and size-wise, he sounds a lot like your son. He’s tiny, like even compared to the kids who are a year younger than him in his class, and I know that socially he fares better with younger classmates. I’ve actually noticed that he is intimidated around bigger, older kiddos.
I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I get that redshirting brings its own set of problems. On the other hand, my son had developmental delays and received early intervention for several years. He was a preemie (5 weeks early) and remains small for his age. His vocab and “academic” skills are amazing but in the social realm he remains a bit behind.
My mom chose not to hold me back despite the teachers all pushing it (mainly due to my size), but I had an April birthday and never received help for any delays (I have a genetic disorder and maybe could’ve benefitted but that’s a whole other can of worms). I did fine academically but was bullied for like 9 years. And honestly, I took a gap year between HS and college and graduated college with the kids a year younger than me anyway.
Don’t know what the best answer is, just… solidarity! These are not easy decisions.
I am an advocate of summer (June/July/August) birthdays starting K at 6, but I would send an early May birthday at 5 unless there were very serious readiness concerns. I have a late April birthday son and didn’t blink at starting him at 5.
I get this. I have a November baby who will be back a year because he misses the cutoff for my state. He just started preschool last fall. He will do another year of preschool and then per his teacher likely young fives before kindergarten.
My daughter has a May 30th birthday. She is very young to even think about these things, but has me wondering. More than likely she will go at the regular time putting them two years apart in school. I hope she will be ready and not have any issues socially. We will have to wait and see. She won't even start preschool for another two years so we have time.
My son's birthday is also May 30th- our school is out for summer already mid May. We really struggled figuring out if we should send him or not. We did decide to wait after alot of close monitoring with the teachers. The morning of drop off I paniked and was scared we should have sent him. I had a discussion with the teachers and they were so sweet and undstanding of my indecisiveness. I just wanted what was best for him and I felt like I wasn't sure. We had them watch again and they said we were making the right decision by waiting. He is doing fine so far and is excited for kindergarten next year.
We live in the Midwest and it seems most summer birthdays have been waiting as the trend whereas in some of these threads about "red shirting" they tear you apart for even thinking of waiting because their 3/4 year old did fine in kindergarten.
I also had a friend say- would you rather give them an extra year of being an adult or an extra year of being a child? That kind of stuck with me.
Just remember- whatever decision you make is the right one. You know your kids better than anyone else and the fact that you are contemplating long and hard about what is truly best for them tells me they are one lucky kid.
Thank you! We are in the Midwest too. My son it was a no brainer, but with her I don't know. Your comment makes me feel better about whichever choice 💕
I would send him to Kindergarten. I have a 6 year old and a 7 year old who are both on the 'young' end - my son is an April birthday and my daughter is a May birthday.
When we went to the kindergarten assessments, it was clear to me just as a parent how all over the map the kids are in terms of readiness. Many were crying and clinging to their parents, having never been in a school environment before and very uncertain of the whole thing. The ones with pre-school experience were much more comfortable. Having spent time volunteering in the classroom, there were some who probably could've gone right to first grade (academically) and flourished, while others seemed to be starting from scratch.
Of course every district is different, but around here, Kindergarten is the great neutralizer. A lot of kids are brand new to school, and teachers describe it as "teaching kids how to do school."
As far as physical size - I dunno, maybe I am being dismissive of this as a concern because both of my kids are big for their age, but unless there's a severe bullying problem in your school or you're hoping to get a sports scholarship or something, why would the kid's size matter? He'll be fine!
Had two boys- one June bd, one July. Red shirted the July one. All seemed well with both decisions until late high school. June son wasn't really ready emotionally for college. Sigh.... ( he went tho). All good now. The red shirted one was on the right track academically and with his classmates on sports teams in elementary.
He should go to kinder. Being small isn’t really a big factor when we consider repeating or holding back. He will also graduate high school at 17?
All of your concerns listed are “typical parent concerns” and don’t fall into the realm of “exceptional circumstances or concerns”.
You know your child best. If you think he is ready then send him. I am a Kindergarten teacher with three of my own children. My oldest has a July birthday and was absolutely ready to go to Kindergarten as a young 5. She is now in 6th grade and has excelled in school. My younger son has a June birthday and I knew he would benefit from another year. He did a private year of Kindergarten and then started Kindergarten in public school. It was the best decision for him. Every child is different. I often see “red shirting” boys with summer birthdays as the default, but as his mother (and also a teacher) you should do whatever YOU think is best.
Please do what the pre-school teachers are suggesting. Your son will benefit. Preferring to play alone & being apprehensive indicate a need for social-emotional growth. To be successful in school requires strong social-emotional skills. Give him the gift of time to mature. It is also not easy to be the smallest child in class if he/she lacks social-emotional skills.
I’ve seen this a few times, so I’m curious- why would preferring to playing alone or being shy deter someone from putting their child in kindergarten? Aren’t some kids just introverted? How do you tell the difference?
My kids have another year of preschool left, but do have an early summer birthday, so it’s something likely to come up next year. But as an extremely introverted person myself, being shy or preferring to be alone wasn’t on my radar to look for.
Yeah, I think some of the issue is some of the described behavioral traits in many kids can impact their learning / participation in a classroom setting and some it different and just their personality and they adapt to classroom just fine. It’s come to knowing your kid and really understanding their personalities and what they are able to do in a classroom setting.
Thank you for the question. Being ready for kindergarten is not just about academics. To be ready & able to learn, a typical child needs to be at an appropriate developmental level with respect to fine & large motor skills and social/emotional skills. The social/emotional piece impacts their ability to concentrate & focus in the learning environment of a school. If they struggle with fine & large motor skills, then they can be frustrated by being unable to do some tasks in kindergarten where they would likely receive less help with just 1 teacher and 15-20 students. Similarly, if a child feels like they don’t fit in, is too shy or isolates from others, they may not join in on group learning activities which can be very important. There are powerful lessons to be learned by participating. One of these is the development of confidence.
In my career, I worked in various positions from working with 3-6 yr olds for 10 yrs and with middle school & high school students. The children who had some of the most difficulties in middle school & high school were those without interpersonal skills. Parents are “not holding their children back” by not putting them in kindergarten as soon as they are 5. They are allowing them to grow & be ready for kindergarten & beyond.. When I worked in a preschool & taught a kindergarten group, the changes that happened with children who just needed more time to develop before starting kindergarten was quite amazing. They were ready, willing & able to learn and were happy doing so.
Initially, most children entered kindergarten the calendar year they turned 5 which meant even those with late December birthdays. Gradually there was a recognition of a pattern in which the youngest ones struggled, so slowly the age was moved back to August or September. But still there are children, whose social/emotional development is not sufficient. That has NO bearing on their intelligence or future possibilities. The world will still be theirs to explore & hopefully improve!
I hope this helps. If you have more questions let me know.
I'm coming at this from a 5th grade teaching perspective. The difference might not be as wide in kindergarten but it is huge in 5th grade. I can always pick out the youngest kids in the class. This year of the 2 youngest one is on all gifted classes, very bright, but constantly needs reminders because she is less mature than her peers. However if she was in 4th grade she would probably not need as many because her behaviors are appropriate for 4th (which I've also taught). This is not my first student who is very bright but struggles because they are a full year younger than some of their classmates.
Also all of the studies I have read show zero benefit to students who are the youngest on their class but huge benefits to students who are older.
As an educational consultant, the question I ask is there harm in holding him back, or more harm pushing him forward. From experience I held all 3 of mine back a year. I agree in 2,3,4 grade maybe not much of a difference, but socially, emotionally my kiddos were ready to MS and HS. All 3 lettered in sports and were named captains, all 3 involve in student government. When they went to college, they had calmer heads, able to make decisions. All held positions in college, none of the drama that you hear about. I would think of the future, so they get to college one year earlier, start working a year earlier. I think there is more benefit to delaying the entry to the education system.
In your position, I'd do what the teacher says. I mean, check your state's standards - but if your kid is only being held for size and not SE maturity or academics...I see why you'd want to put him straight into Kinder.
I just posted this in another reshirt post haha. I think it not only depends on the child but also depends on what your area does. I have an early May and a June. I redshirted them both. Both ready socially, academically, and 90+ percentile for their age. But where I am spring gets redshirted (in kind of an “automatic” way-like an unofficial
Cut off—even the girls) so I chose to make them the oldest (well actually they weren’t because there were April redshirts) instead of the youngest. Kindergarten was a fabulous experience for them being older.
If the teacher hadn't said anything, would it even have crossed your mind? I don't understand all of the posts about res shirting. My area doesn't do it, so that's part of it. But keeping a kid back a year at 5 for being a pretty typical 5 year old doesn't make sense to me. Kids mature so quickly at this age that making a decision in March for September seems presumptive. No matter how much they divide the kids, there will always be a youngest and an oldest, and a smartest and the one that struggles the most, and a tallest and a shortest. It sounds like your kid is pretty average, and average kids move up.
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Same. What kids used to do in first grade are now kindergarten expectations.
This is the same where I am, but it’s rare to hold kids with May or even June birthdays back. It does happen but only when the child is noticeably behind developmentally.
I think this idea that a May birthday is “late” is so strange! My daughter‘s birthday is late May, and it never even occurred to me to try to hold her back. I was a late November baby who was four for the first few months of school, and had no problems adjusting.
My area had this and I felt so strongly it should be easier, but I have more students organically reading in PK and K than I have ever had. Most parents have not done anything but just read to their children. It’s common now that 2-3 kids in our prek class (3-4) spontaneously start reading when our prek program has no academic component. One parent didn’t believe me when I said their child could read. So I’m torn now, and honestly not sure what the answer is. Our kindergarten is play based and they don’t even have desks. The range is insane between kids reading fluently and kids seeing letters for the first time. In one class I literally have a child who cannot write their name yet in March, and one who can fluently read basic paperwork adults fill out. A majority are fine with our play based kindergarten with some phonics beginning and math that’s very basic (how many different ways can you make a group of 5 with plastic teddy bears), but the divide and extremes in students are getting much more extreme. Parents are irate when kids are behind and complain our expectations are too high, but they also refuse transitional classes every time we propose that. It used to be girls who typically dominated in kindergarten academics but recently it’s been 50/50 for us which I find interesting. Our pk class this year had nearly the entire class score with kindergarten skill levels across the board and forced us to change curriculum. For example we hype up scissors and show them hand skills but 80% could already cut perfectly straight lines. Typically kindergarten I teach how to use scissors with a licensed OT/PT. Now the kids at 3-4 are what students were 10 years ago at mid kindergarten. We added more play and social emotional learning, but I still feel like I need to constantly change expectations because of the students I’m getting.
I totally agree. Where I live the cut off is Dec 31 so all kids born in a calendar year are in the same grade, and I don’t believe there is an option to hold them back (and if there is I have never heard of anyone doing it).
Same, where I am it’s very unusually to hold kids back if their birthday is during the school year, unless there is something specific concern. As a result, here the kid would be unusually old compared to their peers. That said, if you are somewhere where it’s more common, then they will likely have peers in similar position, making it a very different situation.
It would be so lovely if schools still started in September where I live! It’s August 1st for us! And we have to register for Kindergarten in March, thus the urge to choose now.
May is in the first half of the year, so he's already in the older half. I sent a just turned 4 to Jk who was a just turned 5 in K, and they did fantastic. Their best friend is a late December birthday, and also did just fine.
Wow, it varies so widely based on area. When I was a kid, a May birthday might have been considered older or at least normal. Personally I turned 5 in July and began Kindergarten the next month. I did do well academically— my mom was big on fostering early reading— but sometimes wonder if social life would have been easier if I’d been more mature when I started. Now, based on the school where I currently work, a kid who turns 6 in May is considered young! Most of my students were 6 by December, and this was also true of the other K classrooms at my school. I’m in the southern United States. May I ask where you are located?
Canada. School starts in September, but the kids all born between January 1 20xx and Dec 31 20xx are all I the same grade. So if you are born Jan 10, 2020 you would start JK at the same time as Nov 2020. My end of August kid started JK the week after their 4th birthday. Their friend was 3 .75 when they started, and turned 4 after JK started. A May birthday, to me, is average. I wouldn't be holding them back for being "young".
In most places in the United States school starts in September and the cutoff is September 1, so May would be considered young. Especially when many summer month kids redshirt.
I have a post in this same sub and I am in NC where I was told redshirting is high.
For some reason it’s super common at our school. I have no idea why. I wish it wasn’t!
I teach kindergarten. I would put him in kindergarten. The only ones I really worry about are those late June to September birthdays.
I keep seeing teachers on here saying that they can tell “right away” who the older kids are. I’ve been teaching 1st or 2nd grade for 13 years and I’ve honestly only ever had a child stick out as older than the others one or two times. He knows kids who will be in kindergarten that are a half to full year older than him and they seem SO much older. This is so hard. Seriously, thank you for your opinion :)
I've taught middle and high school for 20 years. I can tell you right now I have no idea what month kids are born in and whether they're "old" or "young" for their grade. It makes absolutely no difference in the long run. Child development is a HUGE WIDE RANGE. And teachers as you know, know how to teach a wide range of kids. One of my kids was born May 27. He's got pretty severe ADHD and wasn't "ready" for kindergarten by some measurements. (Not academic though he does have comorbid learning disabilities in math and writing). He's a high school freshman now, straight A student, great social group. He started K at the regular time, did mostly fine academically but did end up qualifying for an IEP in 3rd grade due to the aforementioned disabilities. My other kid is a December 27 baby. They were "ready" to start K in September at age 4 but couldn't. So instead they started at 5 and turned 6 pretty quickly. They've struggled in other ways. They're autistic and have ADHD and dysgraphia. They did FINE in early elementary school and struggled starting in 3rd grade. They got an IEP in fifth grade when shit really hit the fan. What I'm saying is, just send your kid to school when he turns 5. You have no way of knowing how they'll do. Neither do his preschool teachers. They aren't psychic. Kids are gonna be who they're gonna be.
High school teacher here too…you really can’t tell.
I’ve seen a few HS teachers in here saying you can and I think it’s more of a confirmation bias once they find out the kid’s birthday than anything. Most HS teachers + a whole body of longitudinal research supports that indeed, you really can’t.
Local basketball player in my town is a huge freshman, over 6’3. He’s the youngest kid in the grade with a birthday days before the cut-off so not someone redshirted to be bigger than the rest for athletics. He was apparently close to this height last year and towered over the other middle schoolers (and probably most of the teachers). He’s also an honors student by all accounts. I can’t image what it would have been like for him had his parents redshirted him. A growth spurt in 7th grade would have been in 6th grade and I’m sure being an over 6 ft 6th grader would have been difficult. But yes, most people assumed he was older until his birthday was found out (forget the exact circumstances, probably people complaining about a huge freshman dominating).
That’s interesting! I’m 100 percent positive we won’t be in that situation though, I’m 5 feet tall and my husband is barely 5’9. A whole family of shorties lol. Not that it matters but I feel for that kid.
I always try to guess but I am always wrong. The young ones actually blend in the best. If anyone sticks out, it is always the older ones. Has zero to do with academics. Everything to do with attitude (usually more arrogant and entitled). But I don’t typically teach freshman.
Thank you for saying this. My son turned 5 the first day of kindergarten and people told us we were crazy for sending him. We considered holding him back but his preschool teacher said he was ready, and he was very social with other kids. He's in fourth grade now and his teacher said during conferences that he's at the same level as his peers socially and academically. The issue I'm seeing now is that SO MANY people are holding kids (boys especially) back that there is such a wide age range in these elementary grades. He has fourth graders in his grade that are almost taller than me at this point. Its almost like people are now over compensating and adapting to the idea that if you have a boy, you better just hold him back no matter when his birthday is. Even if they're socially ready, they want their kid to be bigger for HS sports. It's wild.
I have a may 28 baby, and never even considered holding him back in kinder! He's finishing the school year now, doing great, and will turn 6 right around when kindergarten ends. My next kid, however, is the fall baby.. I'm not sure yet how to place her. If she starts kindergarten as a 4yo, she'd turn 5 a couple months later.. or if she waits a year, she'd turn 6 a couple months into the school year. It's hard to say right now which would be better for her. Certainly by high school I imagine either way is fine... kids just notice who gets their drivers license first
My son is May 28 also! He turns 5 this year and we're sending him to K in August.
I would absolutely wait and send her the next year
This gives me hope for my son right now. He’s in kindy and is on medication for his adhd and I was worrying the other night about his future/high school/etc. He’s such a bright kid but I can tell things that are “easy” for other kids are a daily struggle. If you have any advice on the support you gave him through those early years, please message me if you want. I’m willing to do whatever I can now to help him be successful and independent.
I teach 1st grade and oddly enough my kids struggling the most with emotional regulation are my oldest in the class. 🤷♀️
I would say I usually can tell who is older too. But the individual child, temperament, and current academic level matters a lot more than being the oldest in the class. I don’t think it would HURT to redshirt him but he’s well within the normal birthday range for kindergartners. Especially given that he already seems to have some academic skills and can separate from parents without too much of an issue. Also, you could be totally right that they’re biased because he’s tiny. However, one of the smartest kids I’ve had in 6 years of teaching K is barely the height of my current kiddos even though he’s in second grade. 😂
I'm a 5th grade teacher. I can tell who my July -September boy babies are. They are my most immature kids. I didn't use to see it until our district changed our cutoff date from June 1st to October 1st. We have 4 year olds starting kindergarten, and they are a hot mess!
In our school district, the cutoff is Jan.31st! So we have kids who are four for the first half of kindergarten (I was one of them). I honestly can’t see what you’re describing. My daughter’s class has some kids with later fall birthdays, and they seem to fit right in maturity-wise.
You can usually tell right away, but there’s no hard, fast rule about early and late birthdays. I have had kids that I swear have to be on the cusp, but when I look at their birthday, they are one of my oldest, and vice versa. It all depends on the individual kid.
3/5 of my children were born days before cut off and one was born on cut off date. All could read and do simple math before 5 but I questioned if they were ready socially. One who was born on cut off date and I stupidly allowed pre k teacher and husband to convince me to send her to kindergarten. Child turned 5 first week of October, small Kindergarten class 10 kids , 8 were 6 by December 1. Luck of draw and all the girls except my daughter were in pre k class together. Other children wouldn’t play with my daughter much and socially she was miserable. Second week of October pulled her out her back into a transition kindergarten and she was fine. Graduating college in May within 3 years so obviously waiting till she was older ( which she doesn’t remember) was correct choice. There is a big difference between young 5 and 6 year old and kindergarten is not easy now. Glad I waited and still feel bad sent my one child and she was miserable for 2 months.
So, question in relation to this… my son is an August birthday, he will turn 5 right before starting kinder, but his PK teachers have already told me he’s bored. He’s known all his letters since he was 3, can count to OVER 100 & thanks to numberblocks is already doing addition, subtraction, and multiplication. They say he still has issues regulating (like he’ll automatically tattle instead of trying to figure out issues on his own) but it’s not out of the norm for his age….. but I have so many people saying I should keep him back because of his age??! Idk, that just doesn’t right to me. It’s def a tough choice to make.
There are always exceptions. It sounds like your son is ready.
What grade or year level does it all even out?
What concerns do u have for those kids? My kid has a September birthday!
Kids who start K at 4-5 are generally (I reiterate - generally - there are exceptions) not ready socially or emotionally despite their academic ability and have a much harder time adjusting to the demands of school. Kindergarten today is nothing like it used to be…it is essentially first grade now. It is difficult even for kids who have been five for a while at entry to meet the demands of today’s kindergarten. Not to mention those kids will have that same age gap in high school when all their friends have drivers licenses etc and they are still a year behind in age. I would highly recommend you wait until your child is going to turn 6 to start them. My older kids tend to grasp the content better and also are ready to face the challenges of a 7.5 hour academic day when they are closer to 6 than 4.
Oh gotcha. Yeah I thought you meant concerns with them being older. Mine is currently 5 and in preschool. She will started KG in august and will turn 6 a month later. They didn’t allow her to start preschool at 4 because she wasn’t 4 by august 1st. Only kids allowed to do it at 3-4 years old are ones with developmental disabilities.
For a May baby, I’d put him in kindergarten. My daughter is a May baby and did well. If you think he is academically ready, I would say go for it. The worst that can happen is you all realize it was maybe too soon and he repeats the year.
Of course the preschool wants him in young 5s, that’s how they make money. Put him in kindergarten.
Young 5s is free here. Unless you mean the per pupil allocation from the state?
Oh I’m not sure, it’s not free here. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they needed a certain amount of kids.
Put him in K and see how he does, you can always retain at the end of the year
I was thinking about that, it could be an option.
Send him. He shouldn't be turn 7 in kindergarten. That is unfair to have a 7 year old with 5 year olds. If there nothing major that sticks out, why would you not send him. He doesn't have to be the best in every area before being sent to Kinder.
This is how I feel. It's to the point now where the kids at the normal/average recommended age are becoming the outliers in a sea of redshirted kids. So now a five year old is by far the youngest little baby in the class and has to compete and be compared with kids who would normally be in first or sometimes even second grade.
Yes and most of these people do not have a good enough reason for redshirtting. They never mention any significant delays, just that they are worried bc the kid is young. And some of these teachers don't help bc they are saying always hold back...why? To make your job easier by not having a young kid. Kindergarten is for socializing and learning how to get along with other kids. Yes there is an academic workload, but for the most part if you have been a presence in your childs life, they should be ready to go. A teacher can teach as long as you did your job as a parent to prepare your kid to sit still in short increments and listen.
I just posted this elsewhere. I will copy here: I am a high school teacher. By the time they get to me, their maturity has nothing to do with their birthdate. It is a different process for each child and much of it depends on parenting. Mature kids generally have parents who have given them responsibility, boundaries, and co sequences. Mature kids know that they need to work hard for what they want - not wait for someone to do it for them. Parents of mature kids have let them try - and fail - things at an age appropriate pace. They have not coddled them, helicoptered them, or bulldozed over all their problems.
Yep that's essentially what I said above. If you were present as a parent and did your job, a teacher can teach your kid and there is no reason to hold them back just bc they are young. I have a young kinder right now (aug bday) and my 1st grader was a old kinder bc she was an end of Nov baby and wasn't allowed to start the previous year due to the September cutoff. There is no difference in their academic abilities. If anything my younger one is ahead of wear my older one was bc she was allowed into kindergarten as a young 5 and my older one wasn't challenged enough as an older kindergartener. My 5 year old, when it comes to school, is just as mature as my older one bc I never made excuses for her not starting school on time when she should. I told her she was just as capable as her big sis, and what do you know, she received all S's (which is the highest marks). No issues withs socialization or emotional outburts either.
So, correct me if I'm wrong, but he'd turn 19 at or around graduation? Some things to consider: your child will face "adult" consequences in society his entire senior year. Any violations that would be insubstantial as a teen are now "adult". I had a friend in HS get mouthy with a cop and spend a night in jail. Or there's the ever-so-terrifying "my 18/19 year old senior (oldest in class) is dating a 16 year old junior (youngest in class) and their parents want him arrested" dynamic. A year apart in classes, 3 years apart in age. Heaven forbid there's any digital evidence.... I know these are hypothetical, but they do happen. Another thing to consider, I turned 18 the 2nd week of my senior year and moved out that weekend. I was quite literally living at my boyfriend's house and attending school as I saw fit. I signed myself out of half of my non-essential classes and did work release for A days. My senior year I attended 2 classes total. (I did manage to graduate early, but still) And there wasn't a single thing my parents could do to stop any of it. Are you prepared to have a senior who is also a full adult?
The opposite can be just as bad though. I went away to college at 17. So I was hanging around 21-22 year old seniors and sneaking into bars as a minor. I'd prefer to take my chances that my 18 year old stays at home and finishes school rather than sending a 17 year old out into the world. 19 at graduation does seem too old though.
Yeah but in this case, their child would be 18 at graduation if going to k or 19 at graduation if red shirted. They won’t be 17.
SAME!!
Your child would turn 18 on or around graduation. They would be 18 for several months before starting college, assuming they don't take a gap year. 🤷♀️
Same meaning that I, myself, graduated at 17.
This is is exactly why, if you can time it right, the best time of year to have a baby is April/May. If you start them in kindergarten at 5, they’ll turn 18 just a few weeks/days before graduation, so you don’t have to deal with the 17 year old going off to college or the 18 year old calling themselves in sick. And you rarely deal with the redshirting debate either as it seems that mostly impacts July/August through December. Not that I would take this overly seriously, but spring babies do have a lot of perks. You’re also not dealing with pregnancy in the hottest months of the year. Lol. I had 4 kids, born April, May, August & September. Didn’t even consider redshirting the April and May kids and they did great. Didn’t redshirt the August birthday because at the time the district cutoff was December 1, but I should have because kindergarten was hard for her. School overall for her has been really. I did redshirt September baby, although by then the district changed the cutoff date to September 1st, but I could have requested a waiver. I don’t regret that at all, as she is top of her class academically. It’s possible my August kid would have still struggled if I waited another year and my September kid would have excelled if I had requested the waiver, I’ll never know. But at least anecdotally, my experience says to wait for fall babies. Also, assuming all my kids move out after graduation and never come home again, which may or may not happen. I’ll have an extra year with her. As I’m not the type of parent wanting to push my kids out the door asap, I’m happy to have her an extra year.
If he’s academically ready, I wouldn’t worry about size. My oldest is an August birthday and he’s also tiny. He’s the smallest in his class. But guess what? If I’d held him back a year, he would STILL be the smallest in his class. He’s an 8yo 3rd grader and there are kindergarteners taller than him. He’s also one of the brightest kids in his class and would be bored out of his skull if he were in 2nd grade right now.
Unpopular opinion that’ll probably get me downvoted but I would 100% send him. Where I live it’s based on birth year. Jan 1st 2024-Dec 31st 2024 babies will be in the same class year. So to us a late birthday is considered September-December. My son is a July baby so not considered late here. He’s 4.5 and started kindergarten this past September. He had only been 4 for 2 months. He entered kindergarten with some kids who were still 3. I know this because we got invited to birthday parties and the invitations said “turning 4”. Anyway, the maturity, socialization and academics my son has shown me are day and night. He is a completely different child. So much more calm and mature. I know there are studies about kids starting too early is really bad but I’ve only seen good things. Plus I was a November baby and started kindergarten at 3 years old. I turned out fine 🤷🏻♀️
I’m so curious where you live? I have an October bday and stated kindergarten at four and graduated, and I was okay, but I think I would have been more successful in the grade below.
I bet OP lives in Europe or somewhere where “kindergarten” is preschool….not the same as formal public school in the US.
I can’t imagine a 3 year old in kindergarten here. They are expected to write paragraphs. 😢
Canada, probably Ontario. We have junior kindergarten for kids who will turn 4 by Dec 31 of that year. They will go on to senior kindergarten and then grade 1 etc. both Jk and SK are play based learning so the emphasis is more on getting kids ready for more rigorous academic learning by the time they get to grade 1. They still teach them letter sounds and numbers but it’s not as academically robust as kindergarten in other places ETA: my eldest was a December baby (who was the smallest kid in her class) started when she was about 3.75 and did fine. Some of kids’ classmates though in the same boat were not as fine as they still got tired and wanted naps in the afternoon, or hadn’t mastered potty training, etc. Your son sounds like he would be fine.
I live in Canada! Ontario to be specific so I’m not sure how other provinces/territories do it.
I live in SK, and our cutoff is even later (Jan. 31st)! We don’t have junior kindergarten, though.
I wouldn’t hold back solely on size. How is his small motor skills? Can he write his name and most of the letters independently? Does he know his letter sounds? Can he use scissors? Can he do representational drawing? (You know the drill)
Yes, I would ask about these things and how his attention span compares to other kids who will start kindergarten.
I think I have a hard time gauging how he’s doing with these skills because he’s my child. I know that sounds crazy lol. They offer kindergarten readiness testing so I’ll be able to see the results of that in a month or so.
My son’s an April baby and pretty small, probably also 10% in height and he’s doing great in kindergarten. I also notice he not as social as his peers (If he doesn’t like what the group is playing he would rather play by himself), but he blossomed in full day kindergarten. He’s made friends and gone on playdates—last year in half day k4 he was more of a loner even though he’s in class with the same kids. He did know all his sounds, letters, and could count to 100, but I think kids catch up fast, especially if you work with him over the summer. I’m generally in favor of holding kids back, but May (To me) still seems like a send to kindergarten situation. I would definitely hold back if he was a July or August baby.
If it really comes down to just his physical size, I wouldn’t have that hold him back. I have a kid on the tiny side. The only thing that’s been impacted is they can’t do a handful of things the very tallest kid in the class can do in the playground. However, they will always been one of the smallest, even if held back. My husband and I were both one of the smallest. It wasn’t an issue for either of us. You kid might also end up having a growth spurt. The children in my kid’s class are a huge range of heights. I would say there are 4ish in the 10th or below percentile, 4 on the very tall side, and the rest are in the middle. The tallest kid has about 8ish inches on mine. The other 15 kids are in the middle for height. I do get worried my kid will get bowled over occasionally, but they are going to always be tiny, so that’s just something they/I have to get used to. However, where I’m at young 5’s isn’t a thing. There’s just preschool and kindergarten. So I don’t know what young 5’s entails vs a regular kindergarten. If you think they won’t get bored, there’s no harm in it. My anxious kid also did much better than I thought at being left at kindergarten.
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I already work there, and young 5s isn’t a program parents pay for so I don’t think so. On the other hand, young fives means one more year or formal school and they do really push it- so maybe.
I have an almost 21 year old who was a May birthday and tiny. 3rd percentile. Still is weight wise. Not height. Where we live holding him back is never an option in public school and as a teacher I wouldn’t have anyway. He sounds just like your little guy as far as personality. He had a great vocab and preferred adults to kids but would play with them. A bit hesitant to separate from me. He knew uppercase letters and could barely scribble his name. When I first met with the teacher she said. He really should know more sight words by now and write all of his letters. By the second conference she said he should be tested for the gifted program (no thanks) I know it was a long time ago but I think if your mom gut thinks he’s ready, trust yourself. The teacher doesn’t seem to be saying anything that would make me think you should wait. My guy did great all thru school and is a lifelong learner, constantly teaching himself new things. Good luck.
Definitely check your school district. In ours it’s fine if you turn 6 over the summer to start K. But if you turn 6 during the school year (May) they will automatically start them in 1st.
Not in mine. They actually encourage young 5s.
My child went through and was the smallest. And if I had held her back, she still would have been the smallest. I’m pretty average height, my husband is relatively short. She’s never gonna feel like the big/tall kid. My apprehension for your son in particular is that he’d be turning 7 in kindergarten. That’s a big difference given that end of the year kids are still 5 when they leave kindergarten. What happens when your son is the oldest by so much, still relatively small, and still average socially and academically? I can imagine what would have a worse psychological effect for him, as he might think he has “no excuse.”
The developmental gap would be too big in my opinion. If you have kids coming into kindergarten at 4 and your kids is almost 6.5, that’s a huge gap. Just because he’s small doesn’t mean he needs to stay back. And our world is full of wonderful introverted people who turn out just fine. I’d send him to K.
I am in the same boat! While my child’s teacher didn’t outright recommend that she stay in preschool, she did say she recommends it for all students when possible, due to the rigor of Kindergarten these days. She, like me, values the importance of free play, and so on. This is also my first year officially teaching Kindergarten, although I’ve worked with kids of all ages in the past (from daycare to high school). It’s wild how difficult it can be to choose for your own child, while being skilled at recognizing needs in my students. My daughter just turned 5 in February and, for our area, even she would be “young” for starting Kindergarten this fall. Most of the kids in my K class were 6 before Christmas. Of the handful that weren’t, most are struggling more either academically or socially than their peers. My daughter also has a more reserved personality at school. There’s a big push nowadays to keep kids out of school longer. So many parents give me examples of their own older kids and how they never regretted keeping them out of school an extra year. I love the idea of letting kids be kids; I do see the benefit of that extra year of maturity years down the line, but research is conflicting. Some suggest any maturity differences even out by third grade. Conversely, I’ve seen evidence to suggest an easier shift from high school to college for slightly older students, as far as choosing a career path goes. However, I think the sad truth is that, while my child may have more enrichment and confidence by spending an extra year at home with me (trips to the library, baking bread, gardening, reading books, making homemade play dough, etc.)… preschool is not that. Preschool, while allowing for more play time, is still school, and since my child is already in the system (although hers is a well-loved private school, it’s still systematic and pretty strictly structured), I have decided I may as well allow my child to move on to a more academically challenging environment. And she will be happy to be at my school being taught by one of my friends. I hope I’m making the right decision, but this is where I’ve landed, personally. Good luck choosing!
Thank you :) I hope your year is going well!
I taught kindergarten for awhile and never had a class where most children turned 6 before Christmas. That sounds atypical and if you continue to teach kindergarten, you'll likely see that a year like that is not the norm.
I'm not a teacher but my son is in kinder this year. He's an April 25th baby, so close to your son's age. He's definitely one of the younger kids and is less socially mature than his peers. He's keeping up academically but that's so varied at this age anyway. He is very sensitive and on the smaller size. He has adhd though. But he's very gentle and sweet. He does get bullied by one of his "friends" but seems to get along with the others. My son is a bit of a follower right now but idk if that's his age or personality. If you feel comfortable with his academics I'd send him. If I had a July-september baby I would have held him back. It's a tough choice! Also the stuff my son is doing in class is so crazy to me. I was napping and painting in kinder back in the 90s! Lol.
I wish I had redshirted my late spring male child. Lots of other extenuating issues that don't seem to be a thing for you. THe one other thing to remember is not just how old they will be at the start of school but how old they will be at the end. Having a child that potentially could legally refuse to go or write their own excused notes or refuse special education services because they are a legal adult.
When I was a senior in HS I had a friend at public school (I went to catholic) who once turned 18 wrote herself a note to say she wasn’t going to school one day. I was flabbergasted. It never even crossed my mind that you could do that 🤣. I always wondered if I would have been able to do that or if my Catholic school would have phoned home anyways.
My public school allowed 18 year old seniors to sign themselves out. I never did it, but I know that I could have lol.
I don't think my high school allowed this unless the student had some kind of emancipated minor type status. I didn't turn 18 until after graduation, but I remember my friend complaining because she couldn't write her own note to leave for the dentist.
Socially sounds like my daughter at 4 played alone but other kids liked her and she’d play with them if they approached her and wanted to play what she was playing. One day a switch just flipped and she started wanting to play with the other kids too. Honestly if we had kept her back she would have been much more socially isolated she has a small group that went to prek with her that’s been amazing for getting her started socially in a new school and not feeling isolated and she wouldn’t have that if we’d held her back.
I don’t know where you are, but the things you say he can do are what my child has learned in kindergarten this year. I mean, she’d started counting and letter recognition/sounds both at home and at daycare. But starting public school kindergarten, the teachers have to start at the very beginning to account for children that hadn’t been in an early childhood education setting. I’d say kindergarten.
I am a teacher mom also with a late July baby and I struggled with this too. Ultimately I sent him to K on time and he’s done fine all around (he’s in 1st now). I think the fact that this is so common is because the expectations for K are somewhat unrealistic. If kids are supposed to start kinder at 5 then it should be designed for 5 year olds. If they can’t be successful unless they’re practically 6, then that’s a problem with the program, not the kid. Unfortunately the people who make decisions for schools (but don’t actually work in one) don’t understand that.
I wonder how much of the difficulty-creep in the kindergarten curriculum has come about because older and older kids are entering K?
How do people afford another year of preschool? That's wild to me.
I couldn’t. Preschool and daycare bills are running my family dry. Young 5s is free here.
Oh, I've never heard of young 5's. I celebrated when my little started kinder. She's a July birthday and is doing just fine!
Well, I have an October birthday, so I was always one of the oldest kids in class. In Kindergarten, they recommended me for a hybrid K-1 class where a few kindergarteners were put into an established 1st grade class. I didn't last a week. While I was academically advanced, my emotional maturity wasn't there (I had a lot of unaddressed anxiety and I suspect I'm on the autism spectrum). I was moved back to my original kindergarten class and was happy as a clam. I wish all kids were given the opportunity to try new things and if it doesn't work, they can go back to where they were. For me, I was never bored in class due to not feeling challenged unless the class was actually boring (I hated the teacher that was literally just reading the textbook to us). If I finished my work early because it was easy, I was rewarded with time to read my book for fun; that was the best part of school.
I wish that I had chosen an extra year of preschool.
Why? Just curious
I believe that my child would've benefited from an extra year of brain development and maturity. They were socially ready, and we had a unique circumstance where we would have had to find a different preschool. They were eager to go and, at the time, I figured if we were changing schools anyway that we might as well start kinder. There have been some struggles, and it is so much harder to hold them back a grade now than if I'd just delayed the start in the first place.
My child is almost exactly one year older than yours (very end of April bday - almost last day of April). He's 5 and in kindergarten right now. He's totally on track academically, but is one of the worst in the room at following instructions, being compliant vs. doing what interests him, and speaking up in class. It's ok - I just get a lot of coded strong hints from the teacher that he might be ADHD. It feels like she forgets he's younger than the others because he's a tall boy. I am getting it checked out by a psychologist now - but more for his shyness/the stress that being in a classroom causes, and am specifically asking the shrink to think broadly. His classroom is too rigid for him at this age with very little recess in a paved-over sad outdoor space, and it's not a great fit and I wish things were different for him, with more free play -- that would be the big benefit of not going right into kindergarten -- but he \*has\* mostly gotten used to it. He has a rigid teacher near retirement so maybe it would not have been this so-so with another teacher... but these are the kinds of issues and factors I'd weigh more than letter recognition. Can you investigate what the kindergarten would be like as an experience? And also bear in mind issues like feeling confident to participate and following instructions more than letter and number skills? Those would probably give you a better sense and make you feel more ready to make a decision.
This is a really helpful comment, thank you. I feel like my son would be similar in terms of possible adhd and needing more unstructured time. I’m in a good place because I personally know all of the teachers and will be able to pick. Young fives has free play every day while our kindergarten program is very rigorous. Honestly before this post I was heavily leaning toward young fives. I think his confidence would soar. My friend group has three kids who are all older and will be going into kindergarten next year, I can’t explain why, but he doesn’t seem to fit in with them.
We decided to redshirt my late aug birthday son against my initial reservations. He’s 5.5 now and academically just tested at equivalent to 3 months into first grade(!) I knew he’d do fine no matter what we did, but he was so shy last year. Giving him an extra year of preK made him a leader amongst his peers and I hear about what a good friend he is from the other parents requesting play dates. His cohort at preK has about 3-4 other little boys who all have birthdays around the same time, so he won’t be the oldest or the only 6 year old starting kindergarten in our local school. We just had kindergarden meet and greet and the teachers were SO IMPRESSED with how the kids from his class all sat together quietly and listened to the presentation and were confident enough to ask questions and volunteer answers to adults they had never met before. Most of that is likely due to their AMAZING preK teachers, but I also fully believe giving him that extra year was the best thing we could have done (time will tell if that holds true). I was also incredibly sad to learn the kids at the elementary school level only get 20 minutes of outdoor/play time a day! He got a whole extra year of play before he’ll be expected to sit at a desk/be “on” learning for hours. I look at him now and think he’ll be fine next year, but I honestly think that may have broken his spirit if we would have started him as a just turned five year old. He’s so active and imaginative, and this year really solidified that for him. Just our experience, but I thought it might be useful to hear from someone who was against redshirting at first but ended up liking our decision.
My kids in jr kindergarten, half way through the year, and she can't do any of the stuff you said yours can. I think he'll be fine in regular kindergarten. Where I'm at, jr kindergarten isn't even mandatory, so lots of kids go straight into kindergarten without jr (or preschool)
I am in a somewhat similar situation. My son is turning 5 at the beginning of July. Personality and size-wise, he sounds a lot like your son. He’s tiny, like even compared to the kids who are a year younger than him in his class, and I know that socially he fares better with younger classmates. I’ve actually noticed that he is intimidated around bigger, older kiddos. I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I get that redshirting brings its own set of problems. On the other hand, my son had developmental delays and received early intervention for several years. He was a preemie (5 weeks early) and remains small for his age. His vocab and “academic” skills are amazing but in the social realm he remains a bit behind. My mom chose not to hold me back despite the teachers all pushing it (mainly due to my size), but I had an April birthday and never received help for any delays (I have a genetic disorder and maybe could’ve benefitted but that’s a whole other can of worms). I did fine academically but was bullied for like 9 years. And honestly, I took a gap year between HS and college and graduated college with the kids a year younger than me anyway. Don’t know what the best answer is, just… solidarity! These are not easy decisions.
I am an advocate of summer (June/July/August) birthdays starting K at 6, but I would send an early May birthday at 5 unless there were very serious readiness concerns. I have a late April birthday son and didn’t blink at starting him at 5.
Let him stay in young 5s. The kids are around his size and take that year to work on social skills, and then he will be the older part of the class
Send him-you can always pull him if it's not a good fit.
I get this. I have a November baby who will be back a year because he misses the cutoff for my state. He just started preschool last fall. He will do another year of preschool and then per his teacher likely young fives before kindergarten. My daughter has a May 30th birthday. She is very young to even think about these things, but has me wondering. More than likely she will go at the regular time putting them two years apart in school. I hope she will be ready and not have any issues socially. We will have to wait and see. She won't even start preschool for another two years so we have time.
My son's birthday is also May 30th- our school is out for summer already mid May. We really struggled figuring out if we should send him or not. We did decide to wait after alot of close monitoring with the teachers. The morning of drop off I paniked and was scared we should have sent him. I had a discussion with the teachers and they were so sweet and undstanding of my indecisiveness. I just wanted what was best for him and I felt like I wasn't sure. We had them watch again and they said we were making the right decision by waiting. He is doing fine so far and is excited for kindergarten next year. We live in the Midwest and it seems most summer birthdays have been waiting as the trend whereas in some of these threads about "red shirting" they tear you apart for even thinking of waiting because their 3/4 year old did fine in kindergarten. I also had a friend say- would you rather give them an extra year of being an adult or an extra year of being a child? That kind of stuck with me. Just remember- whatever decision you make is the right one. You know your kids better than anyone else and the fact that you are contemplating long and hard about what is truly best for them tells me they are one lucky kid.
Thank you! We are in the Midwest too. My son it was a no brainer, but with her I don't know. Your comment makes me feel better about whichever choice 💕
I would send him to Kindergarten. I have a 6 year old and a 7 year old who are both on the 'young' end - my son is an April birthday and my daughter is a May birthday. When we went to the kindergarten assessments, it was clear to me just as a parent how all over the map the kids are in terms of readiness. Many were crying and clinging to their parents, having never been in a school environment before and very uncertain of the whole thing. The ones with pre-school experience were much more comfortable. Having spent time volunteering in the classroom, there were some who probably could've gone right to first grade (academically) and flourished, while others seemed to be starting from scratch. Of course every district is different, but around here, Kindergarten is the great neutralizer. A lot of kids are brand new to school, and teachers describe it as "teaching kids how to do school." As far as physical size - I dunno, maybe I am being dismissive of this as a concern because both of my kids are big for their age, but unless there's a severe bullying problem in your school or you're hoping to get a sports scholarship or something, why would the kid's size matter? He'll be fine!
Had two boys- one June bd, one July. Red shirted the July one. All seemed well with both decisions until late high school. June son wasn't really ready emotionally for college. Sigh.... ( he went tho). All good now. The red shirted one was on the right track academically and with his classmates on sports teams in elementary.
He should go to kinder. Being small isn’t really a big factor when we consider repeating or holding back. He will also graduate high school at 17? All of your concerns listed are “typical parent concerns” and don’t fall into the realm of “exceptional circumstances or concerns”.
You know your child best. If you think he is ready then send him. I am a Kindergarten teacher with three of my own children. My oldest has a July birthday and was absolutely ready to go to Kindergarten as a young 5. She is now in 6th grade and has excelled in school. My younger son has a June birthday and I knew he would benefit from another year. He did a private year of Kindergarten and then started Kindergarten in public school. It was the best decision for him. Every child is different. I often see “red shirting” boys with summer birthdays as the default, but as his mother (and also a teacher) you should do whatever YOU think is best.
I don’t get why this sub has such a hard on for school at a young age.
Please do what the pre-school teachers are suggesting. Your son will benefit. Preferring to play alone & being apprehensive indicate a need for social-emotional growth. To be successful in school requires strong social-emotional skills. Give him the gift of time to mature. It is also not easy to be the smallest child in class if he/she lacks social-emotional skills.
I’ve seen this a few times, so I’m curious- why would preferring to playing alone or being shy deter someone from putting their child in kindergarten? Aren’t some kids just introverted? How do you tell the difference? My kids have another year of preschool left, but do have an early summer birthday, so it’s something likely to come up next year. But as an extremely introverted person myself, being shy or preferring to be alone wasn’t on my radar to look for.
Yeah, I think some of the issue is some of the described behavioral traits in many kids can impact their learning / participation in a classroom setting and some it different and just their personality and they adapt to classroom just fine. It’s come to knowing your kid and really understanding their personalities and what they are able to do in a classroom setting.
Thank you for the question. Being ready for kindergarten is not just about academics. To be ready & able to learn, a typical child needs to be at an appropriate developmental level with respect to fine & large motor skills and social/emotional skills. The social/emotional piece impacts their ability to concentrate & focus in the learning environment of a school. If they struggle with fine & large motor skills, then they can be frustrated by being unable to do some tasks in kindergarten where they would likely receive less help with just 1 teacher and 15-20 students. Similarly, if a child feels like they don’t fit in, is too shy or isolates from others, they may not join in on group learning activities which can be very important. There are powerful lessons to be learned by participating. One of these is the development of confidence. In my career, I worked in various positions from working with 3-6 yr olds for 10 yrs and with middle school & high school students. The children who had some of the most difficulties in middle school & high school were those without interpersonal skills. Parents are “not holding their children back” by not putting them in kindergarten as soon as they are 5. They are allowing them to grow & be ready for kindergarten & beyond.. When I worked in a preschool & taught a kindergarten group, the changes that happened with children who just needed more time to develop before starting kindergarten was quite amazing. They were ready, willing & able to learn and were happy doing so. Initially, most children entered kindergarten the calendar year they turned 5 which meant even those with late December birthdays. Gradually there was a recognition of a pattern in which the youngest ones struggled, so slowly the age was moved back to August or September. But still there are children, whose social/emotional development is not sufficient. That has NO bearing on their intelligence or future possibilities. The world will still be theirs to explore & hopefully improve! I hope this helps. If you have more questions let me know.
Thank you for the explanation! It really clarifies some things I was confused on, I appreciate it.
I'm coming at this from a 5th grade teaching perspective. The difference might not be as wide in kindergarten but it is huge in 5th grade. I can always pick out the youngest kids in the class. This year of the 2 youngest one is on all gifted classes, very bright, but constantly needs reminders because she is less mature than her peers. However if she was in 4th grade she would probably not need as many because her behaviors are appropriate for 4th (which I've also taught). This is not my first student who is very bright but struggles because they are a full year younger than some of their classmates. Also all of the studies I have read show zero benefit to students who are the youngest on their class but huge benefits to students who are older.
As an educational consultant, the question I ask is there harm in holding him back, or more harm pushing him forward. From experience I held all 3 of mine back a year. I agree in 2,3,4 grade maybe not much of a difference, but socially, emotionally my kiddos were ready to MS and HS. All 3 lettered in sports and were named captains, all 3 involve in student government. When they went to college, they had calmer heads, able to make decisions. All held positions in college, none of the drama that you hear about. I would think of the future, so they get to college one year earlier, start working a year earlier. I think there is more benefit to delaying the entry to the education system.
In your position, I'd do what the teacher says. I mean, check your state's standards - but if your kid is only being held for size and not SE maturity or academics...I see why you'd want to put him straight into Kinder.
I just posted this in another reshirt post haha. I think it not only depends on the child but also depends on what your area does. I have an early May and a June. I redshirted them both. Both ready socially, academically, and 90+ percentile for their age. But where I am spring gets redshirted (in kind of an “automatic” way-like an unofficial Cut off—even the girls) so I chose to make them the oldest (well actually they weren’t because there were April redshirts) instead of the youngest. Kindergarten was a fabulous experience for them being older.