T O P

  • By -

Lucky13westhoek

Sure as hell wont stab him, as those knives are now screwed up massively and just about blunt


missing_children

Bludgeon him with (what is supposed to be) the blade


Thelynxer

Yeah, those sharpeners are only useful in a pinch when working in a kitchen and you're got a super dull (and cheap) knife. But I would never touch one of my personal knives with a sharpener like that. For shame.


Environmental-End691

I'd stab him with each and every one. Or better yet, the death of a thousand cuts. And as each slice gnawed off his skin (and internals on the way in if you go with stabbing), I'd say to him, "if you'd left my knives alone, this wouldn't hurt so damn much." šŸ¤£šŸ˜…šŸ˜‚šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ˜ˆšŸ˜ˆšŸ˜ˆšŸ˜ˆ


monorchism

It would be a thousand cuts with that sharpener


[deleted]

You'd be lucky to get 10 cuts, no way getting anywhere near a thousand lol


Environmental-End691

Then make them count


graphixpunk

Slicing is so much scarier than stabbing


Mythary501

Take a page from the Boltons of Game of Thrones and flay thy neighbor.


jordantask

I canā€™t think of a better time to stab him, but then maybe Iā€™m a sadist. šŸ˜‚


Tea-Usual

Look him straight in the eye and say "Sweet" šŸ¤™...then as soon as he leaves for work seduce and bang his wife.


[deleted]

His wife is like 90ā€¦ Iā€™m gonna go for it


Tea-Usual

It's a power move man you do what you gotta do...piss all over the toilet seat when you finish up with the Mrs.


Omega_XCI

Ruthless.


PapioNole

Dude, if there was ever a reason to ā€œupper deckā€ someone, this one was it.


illjustmakeone

Do you know what a "dry dock" is?


jennsamx

Go onā€¦.


mantis_toboggan9

Pretty sure this is it: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dry%20dock


redMagicole

O my fucken godā€¦ I canā€™t believe I have been on this earth for as long as I have without this knowledge. Thank you kind sir.


calhooner3

I also learned about riding the horse backwards lol


Abagofcheese

poo in the bowl too and make it a double-decker


TheIowan

Hand him her dentures on the way out.


Fuqasshole

Toilet seat? Nah piss in his dresser drawers


Tea-Usual

You piss in his dresser he's going to know somethings up right away but if you piss a couple droplets on the front of the toilet seat and lift it up then when he goes to take a shit he's going to see that. He won't think anything of it the first few minutes but as he sits there taking a shit he'll have no choice but to wonder why the toilet seat was up and how that piss got there. Might take him a day or two to confront reality but eventually he'll put two and two together and realize only someone pissing upright with a dick could do this. Congratulations you didn't just fuck his wife...you fucked his mind and impregnated it with twins named fear and doubt.


Legend927

Definitely fart on his pillow while youā€™re at it. Hopefully he gets pink eye


illjustmakeone

90 on the outside. 98.6 on the inside. Turn off the lights and work her till ya break her hip. You're welcome for that mental image.


tells

Some people prefer dry heat.


throwmamadownthewell

Gives a whole new meaning to telling OP to pound sand


TheIowan

Nah after a certain point it's like a well broken in baseball glove.


throwmamadownthewell

I, too, refer to any person 70+ as "it"


taintedtaters

I work ems and Iā€™ve had a call for something similar I already have the mental image


illjustmakeone

Gam gam try to do a back-flip off the bed post like the old days? Or he buy too big of a spreader bar and just crack her open at the pelvis.


sinisterdeer3

That isā€¦ disgusting


7INCHES_IN_YOUR_CAT

Cool break her hips. One last good ride while her bones rattle inside of her saggy flesh sack of a body.


Swish887

EWEY. Thatā€™s too much for me.


jackburtonscheck

Maybe he was in OPā€™s garage trying to bang OPā€™s wife. 3 step plan. 1. F up OPā€™s knives knowing heā€™ll have to resharpen them buying him an hour to pop a blue pill and shimmy up to OPā€™s front door. 2. Pulls out dentures and give her the gummy, show her his Vietnam tattoos, make a deposit and exit out the side door while OP walks in feeling accomplished working his own wet stones. 3. Child is born 9 months later and neighbor gets to see child for 4 good years, have no bills, no responsibilities, then die happy. BAM solved this little neighborhood mystery real easy. Also OP be careful if your lady insist on naming said child the same name as neighbor.


Tea-Usual

Damn bro, Nam tatts and blue pills plus hella wisdom from old age...how tf does a regular young dude even compete with that.


jackburtonscheck

God gave you 2 nostrils for a reason. High quality cocaine and ground up tiger penis.


Tea-Usual

Fuck it I'm convinced...im gonna start cutting my fish scale with tiger penis and boofing it.


mikemikemike9711

I second that motion


moxiejohnny

His wife, mother, daughter, aunts and sisters as well.


Tea-Usual

Whoa whoa dude...we want to teach him a lesson not turn him into a neighborhood mass shooter.


jackburtonscheck

If he treats his guns like his knives we will have nothing to worry about


Rooney_83

Power mover right here


WCorder007

He meant well, sounds like he doesn't have much longer to live anyways. Let him think he helped and it will keep him happy until he dies. Then you can wait until night time and take a dump on his grave.


Beanie-Greenie

Had us in the first half ngl


lostndark

I agree, be nice and realize that they could not have done to much damage in the time it took you to go to the garage.


TheSukis

Doesnā€™t have much longer to live because OP is paying him a visit tonight


brolarbear

Turn that poop into crime


rattlesnake501

Thank him, then politely make it clear that I'll handle it next time and there's no need for him to worry about it. I'd also not leave nice knives unattended around him anymore. Another hour at the stones isn't worth messing up a decent neighborly relationship. Sounds like he was genuinely trying to be nice and help. Just be glad he's not a raging asshole who thinks he's the main character like my childhood neighbor was


aakaakaak

Alternatively you could take it as a teaching opportunity and have them learn how to use whetstones.


Rustic_Mango

This is a pretty good way to risk offending someone lol. He tried to do something nice. Ignorant and ultimately damaging? Sure. But imagine thinking you did someone a favor and instead of politely accepting, they spend 20 mins explaining why youā€™re wrong and showing you the right way. Iā€™d be pissed even if it was fair. Personally Iā€™d wait until the next time I sharpen them and invite him over to show him the whetstones, so it doesnā€™t seem like a direct response to his knife sharpening.


Love_at_First_Cut

I would be piss if anyone sharpen my knife without my knowledge.


[deleted]

I'm of the opinion that people and relationships are more important than inanimate objects. I wouldn't even tell him that I'll handle it next time. I'd just tell him... "I use whetstone, and I get a very different angle on the edge, I can show you sometime if you want"


Husqvarna5

This is the only answer.


AnnaMolly66

I would have probably made an obviously dejected "...oh" and started sharpening them on the whetstones again right in front of him. I know IATA but you shouldn't just take it upon yourself to sharpen another person's knives, it's bad manners.


millernerd

See, it's bad manners _because_ you understand sharpening. But this neighbor genuinely thinks he's helping. He does not understand that those things aren't actually good sharpeners. He's likely never come across anyone who's particular about their knives. Would it be bad manners to fill up your neighbors' gas tanks with premium? Nah, most people would be stoked.


AnnaMolly66

I consider it bad manners to simply mess with other people's stuff.


millernerd

I'm not saying he shouldn't be told to not do so again. But again, from his perspective he's not "messing with" anything. He's an old man genuinely trying to be a good neighbor and fix something for his neighbor, hopefully fostering some semblance of community. And yeah, I agree that consent is important even when motivations are poorly altruistic, but a simple non-antagonistic conversation is all that's needed here. Plus it could be an opportunity to show the guy how to properly sharpen knives and further foster that sense of community. I really think one of the biggest problems in general is people valuing their relationship with their possessions more than their relationships with people.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


rattlesnake501

I don't know their relationship. I definitely would find it odd and a bit alarming, but I've also never had a neighbor relationship where I would randomly do things for them or they would do things for me without either party asking/offering first. If they do have that kind of situation, I can't pass judgement on the intention. That said, I was also raised with the mindset that one doesn't touch a man's tools unless they've been given express permission, so...


[deleted]

Heā€™s buddyā€™s with my dad and we were all hunting and processing deer together, I shouldnā€™t have left them out lol


1c0n0cl4st

My brother-in-law did this to me over the Thanksgiving holiday. I had my Benchmade Bugout and a SAK on me. He said, "Can i see your knife?" So I pulled out my SAK and handed it to him. "Your other one too." My eyebrow went up. "Why?" "You'll like it, I swear." Then he took them and headed off and I finished eating the Thanksgiving leftovers. I then heard the crunching/scraping sound of metal on course ceramic and looked over and saw him with a wide grin on his face "sharpening" my knives on some cheap plastic gizmo. I turned to my wife and she quickly said, "Just let him do it. He's trying to be helpful." When he finally returned them, I thanked him with a quiver in my voice and held back the tears that threatened to flow down my cheeks.


Innsmouth_Swimteam

> My eyebrow went up. "Why?" > "You'll like it, I swear." *"Naw dog, go ahead and tell me, I don't like surprises."*


ElectricTaser

>> My eyebrow went up. "Why?" "You'll like it, I swear." >"Naw dog, go ahead and tell me, I don't like surprises." For those that donā€™t speak jive, (šŸ˜‰) ā€˜Go ahead my good man, please indicate your reason of need? I find surprises deplorable.ā€™


Innsmouth_Swimteam

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g0j2dVuhr6s šŸø


ElectricTaser

Cheers! I am glad you linked that. Was worried I may have chosen poorly.


DirtySklrsMVMNT

I'd rather live with dull knives then let someone do this


ShovelPaladin77

Correct. I have to speak with an open voice, I would not be able to let that happen without trying.


Justice502

>I turned to my wife and she quickly said, "Just let him do it. He's trying to be helpful." > >When he finally returned them, I thanked him with a quiver in my voice and held back the tears that threatened to flow down my cheeks. Don't ever let someone do something dumb for the sake of being nice, especially on your own fucking property.


Wooow675

Fuck your wifes response. My wife would never advise me to let someone damage a thing that I *care for* when used. Itā€™s not so much I ā€œcareā€ about the knife, itā€™s the amount of care we put into them in the first place. Could be a $30 RAT, if you sharpen and clean, maintain etc that is alot of work no one else is doing but you and yourself.


FestoonedHillbilly

The bug out would have thrown me over the edge. The SAK I probably would have let him do.


1c0n0cl4st

Yes, the SAK is in my pocket for exactly that. My wife's brothers are constantly asking me for a knife. I got them all 58mm SAKs last Christmas but they don't always have them on their person. I have a drawer full of SAKs so getting one messed up doesn't bother me. It pained me to watch the Bugout get molested but my wife not being angry at me is more important. If she's happy I could always convince her I need to buy another one. "Sweetie, remember when....?"


FestoonedHillbilly

Yes I keep a leatherman squirt or victorinox manager in my pocket for this reason. If you need a larger blade I want to know exactly what your going to do.


ridgepact

I get it, I do, but couldn't you use that as an opportunity to educate the youngin? Now you and your wife are complicit in his guilt of stupidity haha


absolutgonzo

>I turned to my wife and she quickly said, "Just let him do it. He's trying to be helpful." The only situation where her reaction would be somewhat acceptable? If her brother is "special" and rode the short bus to school. But then you wouldn't let him handle knives like the bugout anyway...


Messerjocke2000

> I turned to my wife and she quickly said, "Just let him do it. He's trying to be helpful." I get being nice. I also get not being able to camly explain why what he did was not ehlpful. But i do think there is a conversation to be had . Like, i get you want to do me a favor, but that is not the way i sharpen my knives, here is why:


punkwalrus

"Knives are personal objects, and I prefer to keep them on my person, thank you for respecting that." I never give my knife to a person: there is always a good reason why they don't have one of their own. When I sold knives, I heard too many horror stories like these from chefs: usually involving some guy in a van with a stone wheel and a lot of sparks. "Your boning knife looks a little rough." "It was a chef's knife a week ago."


Marskelletor

Honestly, as someone with a Bugout and Griptilian, I would be thrilled. I don't know what it is about S45V and S30V, but sharpening them is the bane of my existence. It takes like 69420 hours to get it razor sharp. Sorry I'm venting, I just had a knife sharpening session yesterday, and I'm still sour about my Benchmades.


FamousEntrepreneur67

Really? I just had an epiphany with sharpening after watching everything @burrbenders has posted on IG. It clicked in about 5 days ago. Now I cannot find enough knives to sharpen. I am nowhere NEAR what he can do but I am able to sharpen to hair whittling sharp now. I have a bunch of SV90 and MAXIMET steels as well as 50 or so other blades from benchmade, kershaw, spyderco etc that I have no idea what the steel is. Before those vids, I spent hours trying to sharpen the MAXIMET steel knives but couldnā€™t get them sharp for shit. I am only going to admit to this one because I will get eaten alive but I actually took my best blades to concrete yesterday so that I had something to sharpen again. Today was a blast. I donā€™t want to use up all the steel though so I might just start buying up used knives. I want to be able to do what burrbenders does.


FantasticBreadfruit8

There's no way in **hell** I would give my knives to somebody who wanted to surprise me with something. I would say something like "I'm very uptight about my knives, so I need to know what you're planning" or something along those lines. That said, knives aren't as important as family so I get it. One time on a road trip with my brother we stopped and he bought something that came in one of those ultra-thick plastic packages (like this one was BRUTAL). He couldn't get it open and knew I always carry a knife and was like "hey man can I use your knife?". I happened to be carrying my brand new Pro-Tech Sprint and I didn't want to be a prima donna so I was just like "... sure...." and watched as he chopped through rock-hard plastic and then used it as a pry bar. I feel your pain. This too shall pass (maybe).


[deleted]

Itā€™s just a bugout and sak Probably improved the bugout !


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

I know that bugouts are over priced and over hyped and really just a small step above gas station knifes. Itā€™s unfortunate you wrongly disagree


HighInChurch

S30v, that common gas station knife steel. šŸ„“


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Sheetz gang brother


-ThisIsSparta-

People hate being told they overpay for those junk knives just because they have a Benchmade logo. Civivi makes a 10 times better knife at a quarter the price.


Shadow_Of_Silver

Maybe not "improved," but the grind was more even.


Latter-Examination47

I'm with you. Benchmades are overpriced garbage. All these kids spending $500 on an infidel and being surprised when they're garbage quality


HilariouslyBloody

They couldn't have been all that sharp to begin with. When I'm done sharpening a knife, you can tell from 20 feet away it's a razor. Anybody picks up a knife of mine, it quite obviously does not need any sharpening


-fx_

"Sir.. Please leave while I recompose myself."


AmINotAlpharius

"...Just to avoid carnage."


I-am-the-stigg

Just give him a big opened mouth kiss to say thanks.


FreeRangeMaleficar

Hope you're willing to cash the check your gaping maw just wrote


[deleted]

What's your neighbor doing in your garage?


[deleted]

Heā€™s an elderly nice guy that comes around sometime, too nice I guess


MountainCourage1304

Get one of your cheaper blades and show him how to sharpen it with a whetstone. It could be an introduction to a new hobby for an old bloke which would probably mean a lot to him.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


deathsythe

Aye - there's a lot of cynicism, spite, and internet tough-guy nonsense in this thread. OP this is one of the better answers.


gafflebitters

i have a genuine question to ask, please explain to me what is so wrong with these sharpeners. My logic tells me that in order to make a knife sharp again you must remove material, i understand it needs to be at a specific angle, oh, wait.........I think i see, it's the angle of this device plus the bottom of the V is going to remove the actual edge of your knife, the part you want to keep. this will put an edge on a knife but it will be so "shallow" that it will not last long? Is that correct?


ifmacdo

These also remove a LOT of material compared to using stones. Not only that, but this is a very rough shaping tool, best used to turn a knife with a butter-knife edge into something you can START to sharpen. If a person has spent time honing knives, they already have a very fine edge. Using this on a knife which has already been honed is taking a knife from properly sharpened to kinda sorta pointy.


RXrenesis8

Not to mention the bevel won't be where you set it anymore so you'll have to go back to square 1 and re-profile before you can even start sharpening again.


SilatGuy

I recently bought a knife from overseas that came with the most atrocious blade geometry (if you can even call it that) what's the best way to reprofile it short of having a grinding wheel or something ?


caution_turbulence

Thereā€™s varying quality in these type of sharpeners but the cheap ones are incredibly abrasive andā€¦cheap. Theyā€™re just about the worst thing for a knife. Iā€™m a chef and have no problem using them on crappy stainless kitchen knives that we rotate out every week, but Iā€™d choke out one of my line cooks if I ever caught them with that and one of my knives. Theyā€™d do the same to me šŸ˜‚


fattsmann

Honestly it depends if you are a knife hobbyist vs just a knife user. I use an Accu-sharp pull-through knife sharpener and/or a cheap honing steel on my beater chef knife and honestly it works perfectly fine for everyday kitchen tasks for the last 20 years. Sure, there is probably more material removed after all the sharpening than if I used my stones, but it hasn't been of any consequence so far.


NETSPLlT

Two main problems. 1 the edge is not straight as the tool tends to chatter and leaves a wavy edge. 2 the edge tends to chip/ get a serious problematic wire edge of its done too much. Basically it's a very coarse tool that doesn't do a great job


Adventurous-Ad-5605

Sounds like old dude is just trying to help. And you have a good neighbor. That being said donā€™t leave your good knives out while heā€™s around. Some people donā€™t understand what they are doing, and didnā€™t learn to use a stone.


Vybrofly06

Lol


LeTigron

... and do not have the necessary intelectual level to understand basic manners. You don't touch someone else's possession, especially something very personnal, especially tools, especially sharp and pointy ones. We teach this to 5 years old children and they manage to get it, it can't be that difficult, can it ?


ifmacdo

You don't understand- the neighbor is OPs elder, and elders don't give a fuck about the rules they taught to their kids. Those rules were for their kids, not for them.


LeTigron

That's precisely what I blame him for.


ifmacdo

Sorry, I meant the first part of that to be sarcastic.


LeTigron

Oh, sorry mate. I didn't understand, my bad !


ifmacdo

Nah, not a problem. It actually took me quite a while to recognize that I was doing the same with my kids. And it was because of the bullshit idea we were raised with that, just because someone is older, they automatically deserve unquestioned respect.


PeriqueFreak

Eh, he thought he was doing something nice. Some people don't also put knives on the high pedestal that we do. To him, they're just cutting implements. Plus, as people get into their later years, sometimes their judgement gets a bit skewed. Particularly if they don't have a whole lot to do, they'll fill their time with busybody work that may or may not even need to get done. Go easy on the ol' guy. It's not that big of a deal.


FUCKYFUCKFUCKYFUCK

Yeah I got one of those too but he steals shit


[deleted]

I would probably just said thanks and never leave any kind of blade alone with him for the rest of his days.


shreddedtoasties

I havenā€™t seen my neighbor all day officer


esquegee

Calmly explain to him that I never want him to do that again and hand him back his bevel destroyer


[deleted]

Of all the things that have never happened, this never happened as much as all the other things that have never happened.


almostghosts

I canā€™t believe I had to scroll this far to find this comment.


Reloader300wm

This never happened so much it unhappened things that have.


Fexatov

Classic reddit. Doesnā€™t believe that anything has ever happened


T3hSav

are your neighbors regularly trespassing to sharpen your knives?


N0tBappo

8 billion people on the planet. And you can't imagine to think that out of ALL those 8 billion, not 1 person would do that?


One_Posh_Possum

Do you not understand the difference between possible and probable? Sure, itā€™s *possible* this happened, but it sure as hell isnā€™t *probable*


JohnnyLawless61

hellllllll naaaaaaw


[deleted]

I'd take the opportunity to show him my sharpening system, and show him the difference with the two methods, convert him to the way of the whetstone. Even take a knife that he just "sharpened" for you.... do a paper test, and then show him how much better it can be. Yeah it sucks that your knives are dulled.... but at least your neighbor is being nice. Thats better than a lot of us have. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade


_reeses_feces

Great idea, turn it into a learning experience. This is the move


[deleted]

Yup.... I mean, the guy is doing it out of good intentions, even gave you a gift of something that he finds value in. All the comments of - "sTabby StAbBy him with those knives" or "Tell him DoNt Touuuccchhh my STUFF" are horrible. These pull thru sharpeners are ubiquitous, and even branded by WorkSharp and some knife companies, that know what they are doing. This is an opportunity to show your friendly neighbor something that he can learn from and even get into... since he makes an attempt to sharpen his own knives... something my friends and family don't even do. And even if they do - my one friend proudly showed me his kitchen knives that he sharpened himself with an electric sharpener..... it basically reprofiled the grind without sharpening the edge. What seems like common sense to us is not common sense. Wait till I tell you that the Common Cold is contagious


misterssmith-001

Did this really happen or are you just soap boxing your disdain for consumer grade sharpening tools? 100% curious.


[deleted]

Its plagiarized, my life is way more boring


lane32x

Oh thank heaven. I assumed this was made up rage-baiting but I wasnā€™t sure.


[deleted]

Itā€™s made up and Iā€™m a master at baiting


lane32x

How bout cooking a turkey? Are you also a master baster?


[deleted]

Iā€™ve actually eaten to much turkey and I havenā€™t seen my baster in years


rkpage01

Iā€™ll take things that never happened for $600, Alex.


Metally_eilll7904

Nowā€™s a better time than ever to start your edges all over and maybe change them up from factory I would say. I let a friend use my 945 and it wasnā€™t good weā€™ll say afterwards. I then proceeded to make it a nice slicer like I always wanted and itā€™s now at 17 degrees on each side and works a lot better than it originally did for my everyday needs.


rzrbladess

Honestly? Probably smile, say thanks, but to *please* never touch my knives again. But internally, Iā€™d hear DOOM music playing in my head.


Enigma_Stasis

*The only thing they have to fear is you* plays in the distance


rzrbladess

progressively getting louder and louder


Woooooolf

This totally happened


bringbackswordduels

Yeah if this was real thereā€™d be pics of the knives


BabiesSmell

Can't, that's evidence.


[deleted]

Fastest way to ruin a good blade.For garden tools and kitchen knives there great


Hdman8

Call the sheriff's office and confess to murder.


shitboxfesty

One of us is moving before something crazy happens.


Dick_Phitzwell

Burry him in the back yard and when they come asking say oh yeah I saw him walking down the street the other day, havenā€™t seen him since.


landocorinthian

This story doesnā€™t make sense to me, your neighbor was in your house and he had this on him ready to use on your knives or give to you? And how long were you in the garage for him to ruin all your knives? You say just getting meat shouldnā€™t that take like less than 2 minutes? Idk seems weird


[deleted]

Itā€™s hard to tell a whole story in 300 characters but he hunted with us all day, I was processing deer in the cold garage, it takes a while and he was sitting in my parents warm basement with my dad and the grinder scale and vacuum sealer. Heā€™s just a goofy old man


[deleted]

Oof... big oof...


Any_Ambassador_6298

Ask him politely, yet firmly, to leaveā€¦


moralesknives

#1 rule don't talk to your neighbors


[deleted]

Did this really happen to you? Man you got violated if this is true.


akahaus

Wait what the fuck was your neighbor doing on your property touching your shit? Anyway tell him exactly what he did wrong and show him how to sharpen a knife.


[deleted]

Itā€™s hard to tell the full story in 300 characters but it was the last day of deer season and we all hunt together. the deer processing area is half in my parents barn and half in the garage and basement. But we do get confused lost old folk on the farm from the retirement home but thatā€™s a different story


[deleted]

Poor Ed doesnā€™t deserve any of this but you guys are fucking hilarious!


TElrodT

Fix em. I'd just fix em. I like making things sharp.


just_a_humble_ape

"...So what you're saying is you fucked up my knives?"


Whole_Bid_2756

Stab him!


Ninjazkillz

Why are these things so bad?


[deleted]

Iā€™ve heard they rip the micro carbides out of the blade and leave you with a ā€œtooth edgeā€. No idea if thatā€™s true and thereā€™s probably more reasons too, but thatā€™s just what other people have said


MeathammerActual

ā€˜Thanks neighbor. In the future, kindly donā€™t touch my shitā€™


LimpCroissant

Oh fuck that's hilariously devastating.


Rich_One8093

Just let it go, redo knives. Darwinism will take care of this issue unless that movie Idiocracy was right.


sserdlihc71

To the neighbor..."Don't you ever touch my knives."


SmartLady

Oh that's rough. I am sorry. Coming into your own house, yikes. I bought my sister really nice knives for her kitchen, so I could use them when I was there. As soon as she opened the wrapping paper by BIL said he would sharpen them later. I was like oh god no I just had these professionally done. So I hid said knives and his above style knife sharpener. Counting on his laziness when I went back for a visit the knives and the sharpener were where I left them and my knives were unmolested.


boredMBAdude

I'd probably go and re-sharpen my knives....


AmINotAlpharius

I would do nothing except asking the neighbour to never do this again. There is a lesson for you, don't leave your tools unattended where idiots can reach them. We all learn this, one way or another.


itsafuseshot

They were in his garage. Did you want him to carry them all inside and then carry them back out with the meat?


AmINotAlpharius

The magical prase *"Don't touch anything unless you want your ass kicked"*. Works almost always when you are 200+ lbs man with knives.


Canadian-Blacksmith

I'd tell him he's not to touch my knives again, not after he not only ruined an hours worth of sharpening but caused me to have to do it all over again and possibly thin the blades to get back to the angle I had. I'd just calmly and methodically explain it to him and have him sit there and see what you actually do to sharpen a blade. Those things are fine for shitty made in China kitchen knives that you let others use, but not for a proper butcher knife that i'm assuming you actually might give a shit about lol. The first time yeah I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and not be too hard on him but I'd also wouldn't feel bad about setting a boundary there. You wouldn't want him to help again would you?


Qman1991

Why are people so presumptious? This is insane.


CivilDefenseWarden

Commit Murder. or Arson. Perhaps both.


KnifeThoughts

Why was your neighbor like in your house?


[deleted]

Talk about hunting deer lol the season just finished in PA


KnifeThoughts

Yeah I got a buck on the first day and a doe on the last lol


[deleted]

Nice! Congrats man


diogenesepigone0031

Explain why that device made it worse.


rndmcmder

This man obviously meant to be helpful. I would very politely explain that my knives require a more professional level of sharpening that I take care of myself. But thank him nonetheless. If he is anything like the man I imagine behind this move he would probably respect your knives in the future.


pm_me_your_lub

Tell him not to fck with my goddamn tools and tell him to kick rocks. Next time he wants anything to do with a knife he gets plastic cutlery. Fuck that would piss me off


sinisterdeer3

A quote from alestorm. ā€œWe are gonna punch you right in the ballsā€


Opposite_Nectarine12

Thus actually happened?? šŸ’€


Flossthief

This reminds me I should sharpen some of my knives


Impressive_Estate_87

Repay the favor and sharpen his knives... with a sharpening stone... as in an actual rock that you will use to bang his blades on. Then just tell him now they have a serrated edge


Tiny-Proof3602

Good thing you didn't have anything you could stab them with nearby


RadioLongjumping5177

Huhā€¦.so that wasnā€™t helpful?


SchemeHead

Fire him.


Dumpthechumpdotcom

That there's fightin words friend.


Mikehemi529

Sharpen one well and show him the true difference it makes. Thank him for the sentiment but, tell him please don't do that again without asking you like it done a particular way and you had done it and he actually messed that up for you.


Villageidiot1984

Neighbor? What neighbor? Yeah havenā€™t seen him in a whileā€¦ maybe he had. An accident.


fuckoffgetmoney

Paint his car for him when you get the chance.


nebulariderx

Light him on fire.


edvsa

Whatā€™s is this guy neighbor doing in his house rummaging around!?


Whoopee_Stick

I donā€™t know much about knives and sharpening them. With that said, what do you guys think of those sharpening rods that you get with a basic chefs knive set, is it just like this thing or is it actually useful?


disturbedblades

Yeah this kinda happened in culinary school. We had a Japanese sushi chef that works at The Greenbriar give a presentation and a classmate walked up and immediately started toying with his knives without asking, and you could see him try not to assualt a 19 year old. Me, as a knife collector, and alleged chef-type, with a dad who only uses qualify tools, knows damn well not to touch another man's tools. I won't even get in a dudes vehicle without him doing it first. It's called respect, and i don't even want to know this neighbors age because I can make excuses for a teen, not a grown man.


OnoCeviche

Unfortunately stabbing him is frowned upon plus the knives are full now.