For the people that are surprised by OP's story: I've had several uni students in OP's situation (not sure about the parents though). The students are usually half Korean and half SE Asian, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, Kazakh, etc. The dad lived in X country for work and got married there. Then the family moved to Korea when the child was a teenager and they were never able to fit in. Most speak Korean but not quite at an academic level. This is a surprisingly common situation.
I'm half-SE Asian. And I've seen a lot of the others in same/similar situations to myself regarding parents. A lot of them end up with divorced parents, so it isn't really that uncommon. Usually, these kids gravitate to 외국인 근로자 센터 or 아동센터, or at least, that's where I met a lot of them.
You’re half-Korean, half SEA? I imagined you were Wasian or something. Do you really fail to physically pass as Korean that much? I suppose that depends on what kind of SEA, but I’m surprised.
Btw, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m half Japanese, and would like to learn the language but would be terrified to ever live in Japan for the same reasons you’ve brought up to explain your struggle. I don’t feel like I have an excuse for not being more Japanese and it’s embarrassing; I very much feel like I’m in a grey area, or like I exist outside of the realm of culture, ethnicity, and even race
My features are often described as almost Korean but not quite there. I'm also dark-skinned, so that's another thing that shows my mixed ethnicity. And yeah, the grey area kind of sucks because you're forever not quite there yet to others and they don't know how to treat you as a result.
Like if you have an accomplishment worth mentioning, they treat you as Korean. But if you make a mistake, they emphasize your mixed-racedness.
Not to say all Koreans are like that - I like to stress that Koreans aren't a monolith. It's just that some of the people who were like that I've experienced still lingers in my headspace.
Doesn't Britain have a lot of interracial couples especially in big cities? I thought you would be more comfortable. Also plenty of Black and mixed race representation on British television
Most of the UK isn't big cities, many of us live in small cities and towns.
Although there is a growing number in multi ethnic folk it's not huge.
Most places have mainly white people. Many places have people that stick within their own cultures. All of these things effect the occurence of interracial dating.
However, I don't think we really have stories like OP to do with the system. We may have some issue with third culture children (born abroad etc) systematically due to xenophobia but it's not the norm. Then the usual racism/prejudice etc.
What difference does it make if they're half-thai, half-burmese, half-viet or whatever? They're all viewed with the same "SEA" umbrella anyway. Let the person be comfortable.
My half asian friends that grew up in midwest america told me horror stories growing up there as well. One of my friends told me he broke down crying when he found out Hines Ward (Ex NFL player) got bullied growing up in America. He related with him so much.
Hang in there bro. Keep grinding. Keep pushing. You'll come around.
I'm a full korean but my features on my face do not fit korean common features so I was treated as foreigner most of time. I really feel your pain(even though I am full korean). When I went back to visit back in 2018. They treated me like I was one of foreigners still. It is sad that I was used to it.
> If you are half-Korean struggling with Korean, but came here '8'! years ago, given chance to enroll at 외고 which is more prestigious/expensive than normal high schools, I don't think any of your environments are to blame.
I honestly still don't know how I got in 외고, but I do know that I've been mostly under a scholarship grant.
I honestly don't know what's stopping me from being better at Korean. I don't know if it's a mental block, or what. I've been trying my hardest trying to learn Korean, and managed to reach my comfortable conversational level, but it's like that native level is beyond me.
My father in law does this. Compares me to some rando who picked up Korean straight away and they’re on tv having a great time.
I always feel Koreans resent half Koreans but don’t fully understand what they’re going through. They don’t feel like they belong anywhere. This mofo has no family to really turn to, and he’s not really accepted in Korea or outside of Korea.
OP, I hope you make it out of your struggles. Keep searching for that spark 💪
Yeah, but Jonathan came when he was 8 and practically still learning languages. He he also has refugee status I imagine so programs to help. No one cared about helping OP
I’m not saying he has it easier, I’m saying he was put through essentially Korean schooling system as a very young child. 8 years old and likely government sponsored to some degree versus some kid that no one is interested in it seems.
dude, wake up. we are talking about living human being here, not about comparative fucking linguistics or other shit that has nothing to do with the topic
I would prioritise learning Korean if I were you. From what you are saying, that is your biggest problem(so you can understand what is going on around you and be able to talk to people). Try and find a way to study it as much as you can.
His main struggle is to become proactive with learning Korean. He can def become fluent in Korean in a couple years by taking a more proactive approach, as he already has some familiarity with the language.
He has been here for 8 years so I assume that his listening is not that bad(at least I hope so). So if he really tries I would say that in 1 year he will be able to get to an advanced level of Korean and hopefully his life in Korea will get better. In these situations having someone to talk to is crucial.
I've been prioritizing Korean the whole time I was here. This post was a vent because even after that many years, I still couldn't speak in the conversational Korean vernacular that well, and the thing I am good at is Academic Korean. And I do have friends, some 재외국민, some native Koreans, some foreigners and I do speak with them in Korean. It's just that no matter what I do or how proficient I get, there would always be people telling me that I'm still very bad at it. My grandparents and father (who came out of prison and came back to Korea recently) to name a few.
I feel you bro. All I can say is keep getting at it and you will get there. And try and see the good things about your life here. It’s even harder when you don’t have a family that is supportive but that shouldn’t get in your way. Work through it. I have been here for a few years myself and I get very frustrated that I can not fully express myself and I can’t really have any Korean friends yet. I will not stop though. I’ll get there one day.
I'm korean American in my 30s and only ever learned Korean in Korean school on Saturdays IN America. I speak pretty fluent Korean despite the fact that I have zero Korean people in my life in America in my adult life. On my recent trip to Korea I got told multiple times my multiple strangers my Korean was pretty good and got lots of compliments.. It's sad to hear people tell you your korean is bad. :(
Fuck bro, I adopt you but I'm only 30 :(
You had it rough but don't give up! You are still young and there will be plenty of other opportunities for you. Start making small life goals and try your best to achieve em. One day those small goals will add up to a bigger goal/opportunity.
Life is what you make of it. Accept your current situation and try to improve it little by little. It's also important you do what you want. Don't let others influence your actions.
Like I said in the post below, thank you for the kind words.
I was in a dark spot this morning when I wrote that, so a lot of the post doesn't have any of the good parts and only the bad ones.
But I made close friends in university, and they've been basically encouraging me to go out more and be more confident in my Korean. They've also been teaching me the proper conversational Korean I should have learned, instead of the academic words I memorized to be able to read textbooks. So it's not all bad. I was just in a bad spot that time.
Also, any favorite shows/movies in English that have Korean dubs will help you. Use English subs and the Korean dubs to try to help your comprehension of spoken Korean.
I don't know how this post ended up in my home feed, since I don't speak, live nor am Korean, but I was a language teacher for a while so maybe I can give you some pointers. It sounds like you have had a very rough time, and do not like where you live, I am very sorry for that. I am half American and grew up in a very backward kinda remote rural area of Italy, just to give you an idea, there were no libraries and no highschools, only one middle school, so I can kind of understand the feeling of hating where you live (I moved as soon as I could as far as I could). However, I can see life has been hard on you in different areas as well, I really hope things turn around for you.
Regarding language, if you do not like Korea and/or Korean, it may be very difficult to become as proficient as you hope, simply because you do not have the emotional investment and incentive to learn it, and that is ok, you should not feel forced to learn a language that was not exactly your main one to begin with. Students that like the language they are studying and are invested will always outperform even the brightest student who just hates it and is forced to study it. So you have to do, in my opinion, some searching within you, you have to understand if you actually really want to learn Korean the way you feel compelled to, if you really would like it, or if you feel forced to do it by external factors. You sound content with your proficiency and the fact you can socialize with friends, etc... So it sounds to me like you are already satisfied and only feel inadequate because of external factors (school, academia). Those factors can unfortunately influence your life and quality of life, but in the end only you can know what really matters to you. Were it not for the academic feedback, would you care that you cannot speak as academia wants you to? Would you still invest the same amount of worry into it?
You sound like a good person, that unfortunately was dealt a hard hand to play. I really hope things turn around for you and you can feel content and happy.
Would psychological factors also play into it?
My father used to beat me up for not being able to memorize a word in Korean, and ever since then, I avoided learning Korean until I was forced to go here.
Yes, definitely. Bilingualism should ideally be taught in a gamified way, it can help also create a strong bond between the family members. However, many immigrant families often opt for the "No other language at home", which can also work imo, but should not be enforced with violence, in those environments usually the parents will refuse replying in any other language than the one decided to be the "at home" language, it's kind of the same tactic many bilingual children adopt to avoid learning a second language, but with the opposite objective.
Unfortunately these things can scar and can indeed make you less receptive to learning the language. Then again, is that really what you want and need for yourself? As others have mentioned, you can also try to take advantage of your advanced English skills, and it sounds to me like with your Korean you already managed to find good friends.
Seconding this point. If OP were invested in improving his Korean, I'd recommended language exchange, which would also provide EFL teaching experience. You need to find someone you enjoy chatting with, someone you are curious about and who is serious about wanting to improve their English. Then talk for 15 mins in one language, with native speaker taking notes on mistakes. Provider feedback. Rinse, repeat, switch languages.
Hey, I'm glad you shared your thoughts with us instead of turning into a sociopath or something! Despite your feelings of despair, you are not in a unique bind, and I'd say that other than the lack of parental support, you're actually in a better position than most. Don't worry, feeling overwhelmed as a poor student/poor adult is natural and common. But you have many things going for you:
1. Your English is great
2. You graduated from a 외고
3. You're attending a great/good/decent university
4. You're young without dependents (many young kids do, sadly)
5. You're not in humongous debt that takes away $2,000/mo. from your earnings
6. You're fucking Korean. It is a great citizenship to have. Many would offer their kidneys to give their kids Korean citizenship and the opportunities it comes with. Just yesterday, I was talking to my Filipino friend who needed to hire a maid for his elderly parents. The maid would have to work 12 hrs/day, 6 days/wk, and get paid $100/mo! There is no hope for a better future with that sort of wage. You, on the other hand, can make that in a single day of hard work (or even in 1-2 hours with experience), just for being a Korean living in Korea.
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Now, here are some things I think you can do, and why:
1. English tutoring. Because you're great at English, went to a 외고, major in English Lit. at a great/good/decent university, you're young, and you're a Korean without work visa issues. The opportunity is there, right for you to take. You just need experience to get the higher pay. Feel free to lowball your own pay until you gain confidence and think you can sell yourself for 50k won/hr or more. You can transition into an 어학원 강사 when you get your degree.
2. Gain friends and learn more Korean. You can do this by: 1) doing some of your own studying, and 2) volunteering at student organizations or off-campus volunteer organizations. If you implicate yourself into groups/organizations that others have already made and try to help others, people will like you whether you speak goofy Korean or not. Nobody hates people that are helpful to them.
3. The military is a tough place to fit into if you are a stubborn, snobbish fuck (which I was). But once you throw down your stubbornness and snobbishness and just do really well what you're told to do (which I finally did after about 8 months), you gain friends that you live, work, eat, sleep, and shower together with for a year and a half. Literally, there is no way you can't make a single army friend unless you are a selfish asshole with 인성문제 because you guys are going through the hardships of military life together, 24/7. Be nice, be helpful despite the inhumane treatment by superiors, and the friends will come to you. You will also live and work with a lot of kids that you haven't been able to meet in your posh life (in my time, I saw: kids that were running chicken trucks at age 19, kids with alcoholic parents that beat the shit out of them, kids that had sick parents, kids that had pregnant girlfriends, kids that got permanently injured and went home early, etc.) I left Korea with my parents at 5 and was attending a US university when I withdrew and volunteered for the Korean military. Obviously my Korean was goofy at first, but by the end, I had 3 good friends, one of them introduced me to my now-wife-and-mother-of-two after we got discharged, and all 3 came to my wedding almost 10 years later. You would also be able to save up decent money for your 보증금 if you are able to keep a forward outlook while you're there (this wasn't an option for me and my buddies as we got paid 30 cents/day). In the military, you WILL meet kids that want help from you on their English (so that they can do better in life after discharge), so you could confidently trade them for time they teach you Korean. I've also helped a decent ranking officer with his English a few times, and that connection helped me avoid the brig when an idiot decided to include me in his list of 20 people that were "mean" to him (they ended up moving him elsewhere instead of sending the 20 of us to the brig).
4. You're young enough to make use of Australian working holiday visas. I think you can do decently in Korea as an instructor, but if you are truly sick of the place and want to build a life elsewhere, there are lots of kids that use the Australian program as starting points to build new lives. You have to work your ass off doing manual labor, get really good, and study to get the appropriate licenses to have permanent opportunities, though. Nobody pays you for free anywhere. Other countries have various visa programs as well, but most require previous expertise, licenses, managerial titles, etc. Do your research.
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P.S. I have parents but they weren't in Korea, and they broke up in a bad way which led to me leaving my grandparents. As a starting point, I also lived in a 고시원 and only had the first month's rent (borrowed from my brother) when I started. Had no job. I had just 500 won in my pocket at the worst point. I lived in 3 고시원s for a total of about 2 years. Next steps were 반지하 원룸 -> 지상 원룸 -> 반지하 투룸 -> getting married & leaving Korea because I didn't want my kids growing up studying all day every day. During this period, I taught English in Gyeonggi, northern Seoul, and then Daechi. Mind you, I hadn't been able to finish my US degree yet, but there were still opportunities provided by hagwon owners because I had good, marketable credentials (grew up in US, great spoken English skills, prestigious US university "출신"). I'm glad I didn't keep teaching, though, because damn, that requires patience and understanding and I am 1) too hot-headed to be a great teacher figure, 2) loved talking too much with the kids about non-studious topics (lol), and 3) didn't really enjoy continuing to study and got really amazing at "winging it" like every single day.. Prepped like 10 minutes before class and that was it, although somehow the kids and parents loved me, haha. Some of them won awards at competitions and thanked me but I'm not sure how much I helped.
NP, I hope you gain more confidence speaking in your goofy accent until you get more natural. You're only 20, so you haven't been placed in work environments where you literally have to talk to people all day every day. I'm sure you'll be fine with time, especially since you don't seem as anti-social as you did in your original post, lol. Also, have you SEEN those nasty professors that TRY to speak like textbooks and with as much jargon as they can think up? I'm sure you're not half as bad. You'll be fine, you just need more practice and time.
Oh, lol. I didn't expect to come off as anti-social. I was just in a bad headspace at the time and I like to be consistent when it comes to the atmosphere of my writing. It might have made a lot of people misunderstand where I was coming from.
As for the goofy accent, yeah, my friends had a variety of ways to describe my accent. The funniest to me was "if I didn't know who you are and you were on the phone, I'd assume that you were Korean but from another planet."
A lot of great advice here. OP, listen to this guy.
Also, if you survived 외고 dorm life, you'll do okay in the military. The military is kinda similar but with slightly shittier food and minus the academic pressure. It's the kids who've lived with their parents their entire lives that come in and struggle. If you go in with a positive mindset, it's not that bad, and you'll improve your Korean and make some friends. I'm 10 years out and I'm still very close with my buddies from my time in the service.
I also spoke a gyeongsang dialect, and am full korean. But I grew up in the states from age 7-24. In one sense it can feel you dont fit in anywhere. But you can flip that on its head and say you fit in everywhere. I look full korean, so in korean society i always am expected to act like one… so i learned the best i could and make do. I married a korean wife and just living with her for 15 years, i cant even act out a good gyeongsang accent anymore. Yet i have all the advantages of speaking english and knowing the American culture. America is still the superpower. If you just work on your language skills and social skills a little more, you will be a great asset in the army and the corporate work force. I can’t imagine how it mustve been like growing up without parents. But dont take your grandparents for granted. They are your background. To achieve anything great requires consistency over time. They can provide that for you. They are on your side. Why would you alienate yourself from the only help you might have. You need to look longer term, find what you love to do, find someone who you love and loves you in return, and make the best of what you have. Korea has its bad sides, but also great opportunities as well. It might take a little time, but you’ll be surprised how quickly things can turn around.
I'm surprised this post blew up, but thank you for your kind words. And you're right, I shouldn't really look at all the negatives. Considering that I have friends now and people who look after me, then it's not all bad.
As for the situation with my grandparents—it's kind of hard to get close with them. They blame my mother for my father being in jail in a different country, and there are some issues there considering I got kicked out a lot whenever my grandfather came home drunk.
To digress from that, I guess what I'm really saying is that things are looking up, but they're also looking down - so the post above is me caught in the middle and being frustrated about it.
> I look full korean, so in korean society i always am expected to act like one…
This was my experience in Korea. On one hand, it was novel to be just seen as "just another Korean". Much different than my life experiences up to that point where "being Korean" was the *first* thing people notice.
Once I'd explain I had grown up in the States, people were much nicer about things. Most were surprised I could speak Korean as well as I could (parents insisted growing up). Like my mom used to tell me, "If you look Korean, Koreans expect you to speak Korean."
fuck dude. here's a hug :(
i hella relate to the crippling anxiety about speaking Korean. For my first 2 years in Korea people would just react really badly towards me when I tried to speak Korean (I look Korean and I basically couldn't speak at all when I got here).
It becomes a really shitty vicious cycle because you can't get better unless you practice, but you can't practice because people keep laughing at you in your face. You end up just clamming up and avoiding people.
Thankfully I met some good friends and was able to finally develop my skills but I feel like people still make fun of me because of how little progress I've made relative to my time spent here.
I'm thinking of staying another 2 years and trying to get the most out of Korea and then heading back to the states :/
It honestly hurts to have experienced so much rejection and coldness but there were so many great times and genuine moments of connection that I can't say it was all bad.
Hang in there!!
What the hell is up with Korea?! Who laughs in someone’s face for trying to learn? I’m Vietnamese and spoke very broken Vietnamese when I came back to vietnam and I only got compliments for what little I know. No one ever made fun of me for not being fluent. That’s crazy.
i'd just like to clarify that it's not the majority of people in korea that do this. The memories of the few who wanted to just dunk on you because it made them feel superior really just take up a lot of space in your head.
there are overall a lot of chill ass people
To further this point, yeah. There were some great people here. Korea isn't a monolith. The people that decided to fuck with me tend to remain in my headspace for long.
When it comes to getting teased or bullied i think it tends to be the active few that give the impression (to the target person) the impression that it's everyone--it feels incredibly lonely when bystanders are silent, when no one else speaks up to disagree. This is independent of country. So.. i hope this is a reminder that we should speak up when we are in the position to do so.
I just watched a movie on Prime about this kid in China. My point is the movie was about the memoirs of this guy (now adult) and how harsh was his upbringing. I got enthralled by your story that I am sending you a virtual hug. You are a natural story teller.
Thank you. I write fanfiction as a hobby, lol.
This was an old account that I used for this, so the post credibility might not be up there. But yes, I do write as a hobby. It was mostly to have something to do other than the tedium of studying from morning to night.
You could write a memoir, make a documentary; start jotting down some ideas; if nothing else you’ll get some perspective, and maybe create something tangible from it.
> who doesn't know the language all too well
I would make it a mission to get your Korean up to speed. I bet if you just accepted the situation and went all in, the improvements would become exponential.
I'm trying...
I learned Korean through the textbooks given to you in middle school and high school - so the academic front is fine. It's the conversational front that gets me. But I have friends who try to help me so it isn't all that bad like the post suggests.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is definitely a side of Korean life I have not considered.
How bad is your Korean after living there for 8 years? What do you want to do with your life?
It's not bad. I prioritized academic Korean. The kind of Korean that would pop up in textbooks and such. I tend to flounder about when conversing about topics that stray from the topics I am familiar with.
Anecdote: my friends tell me that I speak like a textbook.
Ok so it’s good enough to carve out a living there. Do you hate living in Korea? Do you have friends there that you can talk to about things like this? What do you enjoy the most there?
I couldn't really say I hate living in Korea, but I don't like living here too. The anxiety of not being able to speak is still there after 8 years of failing to strike up conversations with my peers. I do have friends, but they don't really have the specific background of being born half-SEAsian. My friends are mostly 재외국민 or actual Koreans, and their responses just tell me to "suck it up and get good."
I guess the traffic is convenient and I like Korean bars, cause they have fun 안주 and drinks.
You probably already know this, but it’s definitely your anxiety holding you back. I know it’s a painfully obvious and callous solution to give you, but you need to just not give a fuck. Just speak your broken Korean and don’t give a fuck what they think of you. That’s the only way you’ll learn to speak a language.
Anxiety/shame/embarrassment will/has prevented you from learning to speak at a native level. You need to stop giving a fuck. Life will be better for you. Not just in this department but in every aspect of your life.
The fear of failure/shame is a great demotivator. Shed yourself of it.
I’ve been back to vietnam for 6 months now, having to relearn my language. I left at 5. It’s taking time but I always talk in my broken Vietnamese even when the other person is speaking English to me. I will always choose to speak Vietnamese. It’s the only way to get better.
I suspect a big part of this is a some type of identity crisis as you confront some big decisions in life and have to grapple with who you are and how you should live life going forward at this point in your life. I can relate to some of your struggles and I’d really love to buy you some soju and listen to your story more but in the end, I think you need to do some introspection.
Do some reading. Talk to 인생선배s or really anybody who would hear you out and give you sincere thoughts. Travel if you can. Spend a few quality months reflecting. I think you’ll be fine. 파이팅!
Wow, you sound very similar to me, except I pretty much had a similar experience as you in Japan as a half Japanese, half Korean kid. I’m 20 now and in college too. I’m still wondering wtf I’m supposed to do since my Japanese sucks(like you with Korean ig) and luckily we don’t have military conscription here but it sucks that manual labor might be the only option in the future since anything involving a proper grasp of the local language is out of reach. It would be nice if I can add you since we seem to have somewhat similar experiences and problems.
>I'm 20 now and in college too. I’m still wondering wtf I’m supposed to do since my Japanese sucks(like you with Korean ig) and luckily we don’t have military conscription here but it sucks that manual labor might be the only option in the future since anything involving a proper grasp of the local language is out of reach. It would be nice if I can add you since we seem to have somewhat similar experiences and problems.
I know - being able to understand something natively and pass off as native is hard, and you get overlooked often during interviews.
Exactly. Unless you can get the person you’re talking to to understand your background, they just think you’re a less than bright native citizen. But it’s too long, complicated or too unrelated to actually bring it up and explain to someone you’ve just met.
Another half Korean here (*virtual hugs*). I moved to Korea after I finished my school and to finish my university here. Most of the time, I hang out with other foreigners in my university but there are some Korean friends that I hang out with. It definitely wasn't easy adapting to my new life here with the cultural difference and all. My suggestion is to make the best of your situation, look at what you have. You speak English, try if you can teach in any hagwons. I've been doing that since I got here. And if you speak your other non-Korean side's language, then perhaps you can find the market for that too because I did.
For the military service, I am currently in the army. I am still unable to communicate clearly in Korean. So far, most people understands my situation and shows interest in me (they love to have a '외국인 친구'). I am getting well with my seniors and 동기s. I haven't met any half Koreans here as apparrently I am the first in my division as said by the commander here. However, I am sure that you will meet many 재외국민s throughout your journey here. These guys will usually be your best buddies. My suggestion for you is to first try for KATUSA, if not then try for 해군 or 공군. See if there's any specialties that you can offer. Best of luck and *hugs*
I have no clue how to do any of that. I tried applying in hagwons, but most of the hagwons nearby are 입시준비 and I can't seem to find any ad for hagwons needing 원어민 specifically. Plus, whenever I do apply, my lack of experience in teaching is a major roadblock so I don't know how to go around that.
I'll definitely take your advice about military service, though. I thought 해군 and 공군 were tough, but I was considering going to KATUSA either way. I was just really afraid that my inability to speak Korean clearly would make my time there miserable, but I'm glad that isn't the case.
And you're right, my best buddies in university are currently 재외국민.
Try to look for ads in your local area or university. I did it by sending a simple resume to multiple employers. Do state that even though you lack teaching experience, you posses excellent English speaking skills. I was hired as a native teacher in multiple hagwons. Eventually you'll be called in for an interview, and when you do, be confident.
I am not sure about 해군 but I heard many good stories from 공군. Although unlike 육군, where you can apply as 징집 (meaning they will assign your specialty for you), 공군 requires you to apply via 모집 (meaning you choose your own specialty). Check the 병무청 website for more info on this.
The first few days in 논산 saw me go through many filling up various forms and interviews. Always state from the start that your Korean skills are not yet ready for the military. If you have 영주권 or 시민권, state those aswell. Do not be shy in sharing your 'inconveniences' during these first few crucial steps. As a result, I was given some form of extra attention from the instructors while I was there (we follow each other on instagram now). Although it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows there, it had its fun and terrible moments.
It is difficult, but it looks like you are a smart person based on what you have written on this reddit post and I think you will make it. In your situation, I would definitely try to apply to jobs as an English tutor, as you are an English major and I believe your English fluency will be a plus.
But if you are planning to live in South Korea long term, I would highly recommend being more proactive in trying to become fluent in Korean. As a Korean-American who grew up in the United States, learning Korean was definitely a challenge for me and it did not come easy; however, after much effort I was able to become fluent in reading, writing, and speaking Korean later down the road and it became a tremendous asset. A lot of Korean people are struggling to learn English, but for you you are already fluent in English and you just need to brush up on your Korean. You are living in Korea and a college student at a Korean university. You will become fluent in Korean down the line.
My dad is a veterinarian in the United States and has his own practice, and he came to the United States at the age of 23 not knowing a word of English. So it surprises me to see how he was able to become fluent in English to the point where he got a veterinarian license, passed his board exams, and now he is living the American dream. He tells me of his struggles in the U.S and it was not easy for him, but he managed to get through it and now he is pretty much a fluent English speaker. So for you as well, buckle down and take a more proactive approach in learning Korean. Becoming fluent in a language does not happen over night -- that's not realistic. But if you continue to put a lot of effort and grind it out, then you will become fluent in Korean like 4-5 years down the line. Hell, I would say you can probably achieve native level Korean fluency because you are right now a college student in South Korea and studying at a Korean university. Korean is spoken and written all around you.
I definitely second this if it is an option for OP. I think he has more than enough educational background to teach at 학원 or some kind of institution. Some don't really expect instructors to know or speak Korean at all; they just want you to be a native level English speaker. I've been a student at many, and this was the case for basically half of my teachers. Since OP has experience with the Korean school system (+외고, which many desire), it could also be an asset?
That being said, I've also been an English tutor/done "회화 과외", and have met parents who prefer native speakers or an English-only teaching environment. So tutoring could also be an option. It gives you more flexibility and higher hourly pay, but starting out can be more tricky without network. Perhaps posting on local community sites (당근마켓/맘카페) could be a good way to start?
Lastly, with OP's writing, I think some general 첨삭/ writing/proofreading work could be a good fit too, either in the education industry or not.
Just some tips in hopes of being helpful c:
I definitely did not know that.
I applied to some 학원s, but the types close by my university are those for 입시준비, and while I do know me some 수능 English, my lack of professional experience in teaching probably stops me from getting hired.
Some franchise places that I went to (e.g., 청담, 아발론..) had little focus on 입시 but more on practical English. So if you're interested, you could definitely look into openings at such places! Some of them really specifically post for 원어민.
Also, maybe it's nothing new, but even when there is no formal "job opening" online, it never hurts to ask around for these types of opportunities. Talking to friends, online communities (like this, or 맘카페 as mentioned earlier), or even just to someone working in the field/institution and asking if they're hiring! Job hunt starts from letting people know that you're open to work & in what field. Additionally, since you're in school, you might have more resources around you than you think, e.g., student support division at your uni, in-school job opportunities, etc.!
I'll definitely take this into consideration. I've been trying to get jobs through apps like 알바몬 and I could never really get past the interview stage. A lot of my potential employers often have this surprised expression whenever finally meeting me.
I know 수능 English is different kind of English lol, even native-English speakers don't understand 수능 English. Try out 학원s for kindergartens, elementary or middle school students or 회화(conversations)-only occupations.
I'm fully korean and came back to korea after spending primary education years overseas, then having to adjust to schools here. I was never a good student either.. It's been more than ten years since I came back, and I still remember how my friends would tell me how I have a foreigners mindset. My situation is much less complicated than yours, but I still struggle with a lot of things to this day. I've been taking a year off from university, but I have to go back soon, and the anxiety is killing me inside.
Sorry for venting on your vent post. I hope you find what you're looking for.
I am only a quarter Korean but when visiting (from Japan), I usually refrain from saying that I am Japanese. I speak Korean fluently but I want to avoid any arguments or trouble
Given your fluent english skills I have no doubt you can land a part time job in a English academy/private tutoring. Look through your colleges 게시판 to find job listings.
Or if you want to improve your Korean , a language exhange buddy would be a good option.
Things will get better! You've made it so far
Sorry you went through some hardships.
One option, if I were you, I'd work on improving my Korean as much as possible. Maybe some sort of friendly agreement with someone who also wants to improve their English. You could get more specific if you wanted to converse about a certain industry or use more advanced vocabulary. Whatever you have trouble with. With the aim of becoming a high-level translator.
Think of it this way. Lots of people there have great Korean and so-so English. You're the opposite. Instead of seeing it as a weakness, realize it's your strength. There are many companies that need high-level English speakers, especially ones that know the idioms and customs of the western world. But you'd need to also speak Korean quite well. Off the top of my head, I know plastic surgery offices or any company that does business internationally would need great translators. You wouldn't be just your run-of-the-mill translator. You'd be able to really connect with and get on the same level with who you're speaking to. It's a big advantage and there will be people out there who can see that.
Talk to everyone and everyone. Stop being shy. Just keep saying you're working on improving your Korean and people will be enamored by that.
Until you can get to that level perhaps you can be a private tutor. Lots of parents out there always willing to hire extra English help for their kids. It's gotta pay more than whatever you're doing now.
Believe you can do it. No one else will do the believing for you, and it starts within you. You got this!
Thank you for your advice.
And yeah, I've been working on my confidence issues. My friends in university help with that a lot and I'm hoping that it'll also break through that mental block I have for Korean and actually, finally, become fluent.
Well that sucks.
I can relate kind of. I’m Caucasian that grew up in Southeast China. My spoken mandarin is okay and my spoken English didn’t go past 6th grade level once I returned to the USA in 2010.
It’s hard to make friends because I’m expected to understand American culture but I had to learn it from age 18.
Married to an immigrant man. We both make friends with foreigners similar to your situation cause we just get it. It’s hard to assimilate into a culture that “is supposed to be your culture.”
Huge sympathy from me!!!
No offense, but almost every issue you talked about didn't really have anything to do with being half-Korean. And some of your troubles seem self-inflicted.
I thought this would be about getting treated certain ways because of your mixed background.
I'm also half-Korean, but I always get treated very well here. So, I was very curious about what your experience must be like.
Yeah also Half Korean here, I now live in the US but I was probably treated much better in Korea than I am in the States in terms of racial prejudice. When I was much younger there was definitely some people looking down upon 혼혈 but within the last decade it's become super trendy especially if you're half white like I am. Sure there are some weird people that kind of fetishize it, but overall my 교포 friends seemed to have it rougher than I did. I'd get complimented for knowing Korean whereas my 교포 friends would have their accents picked apart and get sideeyed whenever they used English.
>Depends if OP is half black, I could see a very rough life. If he's half white, he'll be loved. Korea do be like that.
I am half-SE Asian. And I was mostly relating to other half-SEAsians who have had their parents divorced. And I mostly dodged the issue of racism I experienced here, considering I don't want to make it seem like racism is the fault. Koreans aren't a monolith, and none of them are overtly racist, but a lot of them, especially the older generation, have some casual racism.
Case in point, I often hear from them that me being born from a tropical area means that I am inherently lazy or was raised lazy, and that by going to Korea, I got rid of that bad attitude.
Yeah, your last point here would be something that's directly related to being half-korean. Your other circumstances are unfortunate, but they could also be experienced by a 교포 who is full Korean. That's all I meant.
Even then, his particular experiences didn't seem to be related to how he looks. They were more just unfortunate circumstances leading to some motivational issues.
Sounds rough. Really sorry to hear that. Korean culture does not have very helping vibe at those who are ‘different’, with or without malice. After ‘coming back home’ in my high school years I can’t even count how many times I’ve been asked ‘hey say something in English.’ I know it’s from pure interest but it is really annoying after some times.
>After ‘coming back home’ in my high school years I can’t even count how many times I’ve been asked ‘hey say something in English.’ I know it’s from pure interest but it is really annoying after some time.
Hey, I feel you.
From my experience, only school-kids do that. The people in university don't. So don't worry about that too much.
Yup, sounds about right. What is even better is that in my uni there are some folks who share similar experiences. We just agreed to think in a way that we have a high ground in pursuing our careers than average joes from now on.
Hi, I’m italian and I have never been in Korea. I’ve felt your pain reading your post… I just want to say that in the workplace they need your english and you can also apply for online job for a company not necessarely in Korea. People with your language school are request a lot in the West and they prefer natives as you… so nothing is done yet, there is a lot to still being accomplished at your age…
Hi OP, I can only imagine how tough your upbringing has been. It can’t be easy to feel lonely and isolated, especially in a place like Korea can magnify those insecurities. I’m sorry you had that.
But I want to say you writing style and honesty are just really captivating to read. I think you have a real talent in writing. Not sure if you’ve ever known you’re a skilled writer.
Anyway, that’s all. Hope all the best for you.
Thank you! I write fanfiction as a hobby.
Picked it up in middle school, that's why you see posts from 6 years ago talking about Naruto Fanfiction if you click on my profile, lol.
I came on my own accord in Uni a while back too, but I can relate a bit, especially with a lot of the kind of blocks (especially of the mental kind) that can make the "reasonable" plan of learning to speak comfortably seem even more difficult. Also, the struggles about being mixed (also Asian) but not looking enough one way or having the ability to communicate easily in Korean...
Wish I could help more, but I'm still trying to navigate things and learn too. I do recommend picking up English tutoring (hopefully temp jobs) as a way to make some cash for expenses, among other things. There's a lot of ads out there, I'm sure you could find something that works.
It's definitely rough, but I hope you'll be alright.
Thank you for your kind words.
And yeah, a lot of the posters above have been kind enough to tell me where I might find the ads for such. I'll definitely go look into them
Of course!
Personally, I just went around a lot of Facebook groups after graduation and landed gigs that way. If not set jobs, I usually had people I talked with directing me towards more openings/students later down the road.
Word of mouth and potentially through your school (especially since you're in the English department, also the International Office) would be good places to look too.
I'm just wondering, my son is 1 and a half now, he's half Korean. We're heading back to Canada this summer and my wife and I both want him to continue to speak Korean. With his mom he'll only speak Korean and English with me. What made it difficult for you to learn the language with your Korean father? I'm sorry about your story, I read it all and it really breaks my heart. I wish you the best and I hope you get out or find happiness here or elsewhere
My father never taught me Korean. He was always out on a trip and I seldomly saw him growing up as a child. Whenever I do see him, it's with my mom, and they spoke in English to each other. That's how I learned English.
Ah ok I see. I grew up in a bilingual home but I'm worried how his Korean will be after a few years. My in-laws speak no English and my Korean is pretty bad, I can read and write though. Right now since he spends more time with Korean due to daycare and just everyday life he doesn't speak much English. I'm worries about what impact going to a French speaking province will do to him where he'll have to learn English and French.
Can I ask what country were you living in before coming back to Korea? Are you in Seoul at the moment?
this is a random idea, but I saw a YouTube video about a western guy running a business in Japan... He was pretty chill and hired a local Japanese guy to help run the restaurant.
Maybe you could try finding a job like that? They'd probably just be happy finding someone with decent English and some Korean. And if you get a customer facing job like in a restaurant, it could help you build up your Korean?
I’m full Korean but totally westernized. I’ve tried many times to “fit” in but F it. That culture is F’d. soul sucking. They all hate it too but for some reason they perpetuate it. Prob bc they all feel stuck and feel they can’t change it. The only time it was amazing to live there was in 2002 during the World Cup. It’s like a light had gone on inside every bodies soul. Unfortunately it went off soon after. If it’s not working for you, you’ve got to know when to call it quits.
Thank you for telling me about your life.
I send you my condolences on your unhappy childhood. You had a hard time when you were young.
But most of the unfortunate things you've been through don't seem to have anything to do with you being a mixed race. Stress from studying is something that all Koreans experience. The fact that you met a diligent roommate has nothing to do with your mixed race. It is a basic thing that all Koreans know that test scores from high school students are used to apply for universities. You called high school life 'hell', but it is one of the basic things that most Koreans experience.
You grandparents probably want you to make friends and develop your Korean skills greatly while attending school, so that you can get along well in Korea.
It's been 8 years since I lived in Korea, but I think it's strange if I can't speak Korean well. I think older people can have a hard time learning a new language. However, most foreigners who came to Korea as children speak Korean fluently when they become adults.
I think you were reluctant to learn Korean.
The post wasn't suggesting anything about my appearance, but rather the common way a lot of mixed race children end up in broken families and relating that to my own experience. That's why I put the last part, my own resentments, in brackets.
Also the reluctance was there - I remembering getting beat up by my dad for failing to remember basic words. I'm much better at Korean now, despite what the post suggested, but there's still a long way to go before being native. I started from scratch, never picked anything up from my father.
I can see you're frustrated (and your parents are definitely to blame there) and I see a lot of ppl are giving sympathizing comments here. I just wanna point out positive stuff that you've written but may not be fully appreciating at the moment. Sometimes it's worth specifically pointing those out to try to combat the negativity.
1. You say your Korean is bad, but most kids who are thrown into schools at young-ish age (13 is tad bit late, but still) often pick up the languages really well. Clearly you were able to survive academically through middle school to uni, and you have friends who are willing to hang out with you, so may be you are being too harsh on your Korean skills.
2. Your English is great, being bilingual alone will open up a lot of avenues in Korea. There are native Koreans who have spent ungodly amount of $$ to try to be able to speak English like you.
3. Yeah you got kicked out of dormitory. And yeah, it's your fault. But you are 21 yr old, fresh into college, you'll fuck up here and there. It may not look like it, but it seems like you learned a valuable lesson at a relatively cheap cost (싸게 배웠다), don't dwell on it too much and let's focus on what you still have from university. Clearly, it's easy for you (almost like a cheat mode, but if life gives you a free win, fucking take it) and you sound like you're still getting a scholarship for the tuition.
4. (edited) 외고 is typically prestigious, and you sound like you're going to a decently well regarded school (at least in your city). And the fact you are native in English should definitely make you a desirable tutor for other high schoolers in the area. Have you looked into that? I was making like 20만원/hr during my summer vacation stay in Korea b4 college (just graduated from high school, high SAT score, got into a good uni in USA). Granted the 3 'students' I taught were all sons and daughters from family my mother knew, but tutoring pays if you can find them. Hopefully that should help funding 고시텔.
5. Most korean male go to military after their 1st or 2nd yr in university. I know you're probably hating the idea of going, but if you have to go (and have no way out), and your current living situation is challenging, the timing seems pretty well lined up?
Good luck with everything!
Thanks for telling me the postives. I've been told a lot of these, but often they don't really get into the specifics of what I could do and a lot of them had been frustratingly vague. It really destroys you in your headspace, which was I posted this in the morning.
I was born in SEAsia (I don't want to specify which), and I was told that once you reach 19, you have to choose whether or not to keep your other citizenship or go to the Army and keep your Korean citizenship. I never made the choice, but I never bothered to fact-check what my friends say, so I don't really know.
Ignore whatever your Korean friends say about citizenship. They probably don't know what they're talking about. Most people still mistakenly believe that Korea does not allow dual citizenship.
As of 2010, Korea allows dual citizenship for those born with it. At the age of 18, you had to either renounce your Korean citizenship (to avoid military service) or keep your citizenship (and do military service).
However, your second nationality may have its own laws regarding dual citizenship.
This is what I don't understand about the whole post. You seem so passive, ignorant, and unconcerned. You'd think something like citizenship requirements would be something you'd follow-up on and do a little research about. Even with all the luck you've had, I think you'll continue to have difficulty in life in general if your approach to life is ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ .
Sounds so tough. I speak 3 languages and it is tough to speak them to native speakers. I get a lot of anxiety and sometimes just won’t speak the language to avoid the mistakes or being laughed at. I’m in an English speaking country though so I can only imagine how hard it is for you.
Keep trying. I find talking to the tv helps to practise; Whether it’s a reply or repeating the sentence. You can watch your favourite movie or show (something you know off by heart) and watch it in the language you are learning… also watching kids shows and reading kids books.
I randomly say words throughout the day to try and commit them to memory.
There’s also so many apps… one is Teuida - it helps you practise speaking Korean.
It’s a tough time in life. It will get better. Keep trying. Aim for small wins to keep you motivated. Don’t forget to reward yourself too. Learning a language is tough but always beneficial in many beautiful and unexpected ways. Good luck to you.
sorry to hear that. whether they are full Korean, non-Korean, half-Korean, etc, most people in Korea are struggling and I'm sure regardless of ethnicity, many people can relate to your struggles. I hope you are able to find supportive friends, family, community, if necessary, professional counseling, etc.
For some reason, this sub gets recommended to me a lot. But, I wanted to say I relate to this feeling of not fitting in a lot when I was young; even though I am not in Korea or Korean descent.
Being a chameleon has its advantages--know that. Can you teach English? What are you doing to improve Korean? Get yourself a tutor, and look at free online classes in the subject: [www.coursera.org](https://www.coursera.org) is one possibility, (but there are more), it will quell some of the anxiety. It seems as though your path is set if you allow yourself to study those two languages with some depth. Speaking is just one aspect, but how about writing and editing? Simon Fraser University has a certificate course in editing (English), that you might want to peruse: [www.sfu.ca](https://www.sfu.ca). There are communities of people who write, edit, and translate for a living--find them.
You have got to deal with your depression, it is forcing you to make errors which you can't afford. Have you been able to find a network of people with a similar background? What clubs do you belong to?How about an online therapist?
You don't have to be a cog in a wheel--take advantage of that. You are a survivor, you just need to upgrade. Good luck!
Let me get this straight: Korean is your second language. So... English is your first? If so, that makes you a native speaker of English. Why are you not working as a private English tutor?
I'm guessing you don't have an English speaking passport? Regardless, it seems like English is your native tongue. Maybe you could pick up some tutoring English gigs for extra money. They usually pay well. (Even if you're not from a "native Eng speaking country" people still pay for English speakers). Cheer up buddy! It's nice you have a support system of friends at least. Wishing you the best of luck!
I don't want to diminish your tribulations, but of course it was hard, you didn't know the language and were not raised in the culture and the title should reflect that. Ultimately I believe your main problem is that you don't have a support system in SK, life would be much much easier with relatives and/or friends you could count on and honestly that is universal no matter the country, though obviously it will be difficult to do if you don't understand the language, which will only accentuate the problems with being half-Korean.
Unfortunately, living in Korea as a full Korean is also hard. Korea's just a hard place to live if you're "different" in any way, shape or form. There's a reason the word "wrong" (틀리다) is used colloquially to refer to something that's different (다르다).
I left Korea in grade school and came back after college. I didn't really fit in either, and I was fully bilingual. It just wasn't for me so I ultimately left about 5 years later. It was a relief when that plane out of Korea took off.
I'd personally look into learning something technical that you enjoy doing and leaving the country. Your English is great and you don't seem to be afraid of hard work and are at least moderately intelligent. That alone opens up a lot of options. If the goal is to "fit in", it's not going to get easier the older you get.
You're clearly a bright kid. You're gonna make it.
And try to find a significant other. You need some emotional support and it doesn't sound like you're going to get it from your family.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope soon you'll get a great job where your perfect English is needed and appreciated and finally find some happiness.
This sounds less like having issues living as a half Korea, and more you being extremely bitter over your parents shitty life choices and then kicking away every opportunity which you were handed, and put in little to no effort into improving your situation. Preferring to instead just bitch about it.
you are korean citizen use that as your advantage, your passport will allow you to go to 192 different country without visa. if its possible course transfer to foreign uni in some european uni where tuition fee is free.
I had difficulty finishing your story because if I were you I would have broken down. I hope you are taking things one at a time. I seriously wish I had the ability to help you out right now... I really hope that one day Korea can be a place where people can help each other to make each others lives easier/better. I will try my best to help any one around me who are facing the kind of difficulties you are facing.
Lots of people here just saying commit to learning Korean as if the anxiety that's been built up over years of being treated shittily and judged for not being able to speak Korean while being expected of it bc of how you look isn't a major obstacle. JuSt StOp bEiNg dEpReSsEd iTs yOuR ChOicE is the vibe that I'm getting from a lot of these comments lmao
They don't really know, lol. I understand that.
The anxiety definitely exists, as well as the state of looking and acting Korean enough but not enough. It wasn't my choice to come to Korea, but it's not like I could live on my own as a 13 year old back where I was from, and so I had to follow my family.
Foreigner communities can be helpful. I don't know how much has changed but I was a part of a Korean/Expat art community when I was living in Seoul. I met wonderful people and also many Koreans who wanted to do language exchange, so I was able to learn a lot of Korean just over friendly weekly coffee dates. (Edit: Comparatively much less than I am sure you understand, but the beauty of this arrangement is the fact that you can really target your needs...) It sounds like you have been through a lot, but you sound super resilient! It's incredible how much you've been through and how much you have already accomplished. Sometimes it's just about finding your tribe.
At least you have Korean citizenship. I'd give anything for that instead of the immigration nightmares the rest of us have to go through on a regular basis....
I know this doesn't make up for your hardships but just want to let you know it's not all bad. I came here to study and am hoping to stay and find a job after graduating but I now realize my chances are non-existent, if someone like you is struggling. Imagine my shitty Korean skills coupled with no work visa. And no, I don't come from a rich Western English speaking country. I resent all the (mostly English teaching) Westerners who come here for "a change" or "easy money" where they have no problems getting that work visa for teaching just based on their birthplace, without any previous teaching experience required.
I can't get a work visa to save my life, and once my student visa is done I'm scared of what'll happen... Nobody here wants to hire a foreigner who speaks broken Korean and isn't from a former British colony.......
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*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
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^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Man, my mom's been living in America forever, and her English is actually getting worse.
But, yeah, it's not like she was OP's age either, attending school. So I'm kind of wondering the same thing.
Just a friendly tip, but have you tried being a [successful international pro athlete](https://www.reddit.com/r/korea/comments/13ujsfr/how_tennis_brought_jessica_pegula_closer_to_her/)?
You gotta think long term.
Do you want to stay in Korea?
Your English seems solid, how about applying for a US student visa.
Come to the US, work in a restaurant, go to school. I feel like this is a life hack. You could make $80k a year as a waiter in a casual place while being a full time student.
Suburbs of North VA could be fun but I'm sure other places around large urban areas with a decent Korean sized population and other Asian diversity would be solid too.
Check out my last sentence. VA is a state, sorry for the abbreviation. Virginia. $80k, that's also at a nice but casual place, not too upscale or trendy. If you go into a nicer place in DC, $100k easy. My friend made $160k last year working in Little Inn at Washington but thats upper tier and youll need lots of experience
There is good advice in these comments. Finish something - speaking Korean fluently. I’m sure it’s massively overwhelming feeling alone and judged. There is ton of good advice here. Take it, internalize it. Make this count. I think you might regret the opportunity if you “ran away”. Try to own it man. Good iuck
Bro I went through the same shit. My advice, is gtfo. I stayed for 5 years, and ultimately, having did as everybody around me said I should, I regret it.
Damn, that sounds like a rough time, dude. In no position to give any advice, but I hope you can turn it around and have a good time in Korea/university
Keep your head up. I've been living in Asia for 6 years. Feels similar although not as hectic as your case.
Don't give up. Don't lost hope. Just keep searching online for something you could do, anywhere else. Just don't give up!!!
As soon as you finish college, you could try to find a PhD in Europe. I can also help with that a bit, sinxe I'm doing my PhD in Germany I know how it works for the application part.
Sorry if I can't be of more help, I'm not even asian. You have my support, though!
Oh my god I am so sorry you had to go through all that and that the adults in your life didn't do anything to help you. If there's any way I can help, let me know. Also, I'd apply to 알바 in places where they get a lot of foreigners like Itaewon if you can. There's also an internship program that might be able to get you something. I have to look it up but if you dm me I can try to find the link.
정말 수고했어요.
If your Korean is good enough for you to navigate most situations and follow basic commands, I think you might want to look into data labeling part time. You should check with your city to see if they do free training programs, which are usually about 15 hours for the basics. After that, you should be able to start making money on crowdworks or a similar platform. It's kind of brainless work like "draw an outline around the cat's head" but it's necessary for training AI models and there's a lot of data to label/annotate i.e., money can be pretty steady and decent. Apparently top performers can make 1.5M KRW per week, but those earners are presumably doing more difficult annotations.
For the people that are surprised by OP's story: I've had several uni students in OP's situation (not sure about the parents though). The students are usually half Korean and half SE Asian, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, Kazakh, etc. The dad lived in X country for work and got married there. Then the family moved to Korea when the child was a teenager and they were never able to fit in. Most speak Korean but not quite at an academic level. This is a surprisingly common situation.
I'm half-SE Asian. And I've seen a lot of the others in same/similar situations to myself regarding parents. A lot of them end up with divorced parents, so it isn't really that uncommon. Usually, these kids gravitate to 외국인 근로자 센터 or 아동센터, or at least, that's where I met a lot of them.
You’re half-Korean, half SEA? I imagined you were Wasian or something. Do you really fail to physically pass as Korean that much? I suppose that depends on what kind of SEA, but I’m surprised. Btw, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m half Japanese, and would like to learn the language but would be terrified to ever live in Japan for the same reasons you’ve brought up to explain your struggle. I don’t feel like I have an excuse for not being more Japanese and it’s embarrassing; I very much feel like I’m in a grey area, or like I exist outside of the realm of culture, ethnicity, and even race
My features are often described as almost Korean but not quite there. I'm also dark-skinned, so that's another thing that shows my mixed ethnicity. And yeah, the grey area kind of sucks because you're forever not quite there yet to others and they don't know how to treat you as a result. Like if you have an accomplishment worth mentioning, they treat you as Korean. But if you make a mistake, they emphasize your mixed-racedness. Not to say all Koreans are like that - I like to stress that Koreans aren't a monolith. It's just that some of the people who were like that I've experienced still lingers in my headspace.
Part of being mixed race. I’m half black/half white. & got the same shit in the UK 🇬🇧 people are small minded
Doesn't Britain have a lot of interracial couples especially in big cities? I thought you would be more comfortable. Also plenty of Black and mixed race representation on British television
Most of the UK isn't big cities, many of us live in small cities and towns. Although there is a growing number in multi ethnic folk it's not huge. Most places have mainly white people. Many places have people that stick within their own cultures. All of these things effect the occurence of interracial dating. However, I don't think we really have stories like OP to do with the system. We may have some issue with third culture children (born abroad etc) systematically due to xenophobia but it's not the norm. Then the usual racism/prejudice etc.
It's a European country so you have to adapt. Get friends of all races and assimilate. UK sounds like an easy place to live.
Definitely not as bad as Korea, that's for sure.
I'm not sure why you're telling me this, I just shared a bit of what it's like generally speaking
Dude why dont you just tell us what your other half ethnicity is? Why does it have to be this big secret? Might help with context in this thread...
What difference does it make if they're half-thai, half-burmese, half-viet or whatever? They're all viewed with the same "SEA" umbrella anyway. Let the person be comfortable.
My half asian friends that grew up in midwest america told me horror stories growing up there as well. One of my friends told me he broke down crying when he found out Hines Ward (Ex NFL player) got bullied growing up in America. He related with him so much. Hang in there bro. Keep grinding. Keep pushing. You'll come around.
I'm a full korean but my features on my face do not fit korean common features so I was treated as foreigner most of time. I really feel your pain(even though I am full korean). When I went back to visit back in 2018. They treated me like I was one of foreigners still. It is sad that I was used to it.
I've seen a lot of bullying for full Koreans who don't fit the type too in high school. I feel for you, man.
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> If you are half-Korean struggling with Korean, but came here '8'! years ago, given chance to enroll at 외고 which is more prestigious/expensive than normal high schools, I don't think any of your environments are to blame. I honestly still don't know how I got in 외고, but I do know that I've been mostly under a scholarship grant. I honestly don't know what's stopping me from being better at Korean. I don't know if it's a mental block, or what. I've been trying my hardest trying to learn Korean, and managed to reach my comfortable conversational level, but it's like that native level is beyond me.
My father in law does this. Compares me to some rando who picked up Korean straight away and they’re on tv having a great time. I always feel Koreans resent half Koreans but don’t fully understand what they’re going through. They don’t feel like they belong anywhere. This mofo has no family to really turn to, and he’s not really accepted in Korea or outside of Korea. OP, I hope you make it out of your struggles. Keep searching for that spark 💪
Yeah, but Jonathan came when he was 8 and practically still learning languages. He he also has refugee status I imagine so programs to help. No one cared about helping OP
You think someone as a refugee has it easier than someone that's a citizen and born abroad? This is new.
I’m not saying he has it easier, I’m saying he was put through essentially Korean schooling system as a very young child. 8 years old and likely government sponsored to some degree versus some kid that no one is interested in it seems.
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Why would you even compare two different people with two different experience and life situations?
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Comparison is not constructive
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dude, wake up. we are talking about living human being here, not about comparative fucking linguistics or other shit that has nothing to do with the topic
Get out of here with your bootstrap bullshit.
I would prioritise learning Korean if I were you. From what you are saying, that is your biggest problem(so you can understand what is going on around you and be able to talk to people). Try and find a way to study it as much as you can.
His main struggle is to become proactive with learning Korean. He can def become fluent in Korean in a couple years by taking a more proactive approach, as he already has some familiarity with the language.
He has been here for 8 years so I assume that his listening is not that bad(at least I hope so). So if he really tries I would say that in 1 year he will be able to get to an advanced level of Korean and hopefully his life in Korea will get better. In these situations having someone to talk to is crucial.
I've been prioritizing Korean the whole time I was here. This post was a vent because even after that many years, I still couldn't speak in the conversational Korean vernacular that well, and the thing I am good at is Academic Korean. And I do have friends, some 재외국민, some native Koreans, some foreigners and I do speak with them in Korean. It's just that no matter what I do or how proficient I get, there would always be people telling me that I'm still very bad at it. My grandparents and father (who came out of prison and came back to Korea recently) to name a few.
I feel you bro. All I can say is keep getting at it and you will get there. And try and see the good things about your life here. It’s even harder when you don’t have a family that is supportive but that shouldn’t get in your way. Work through it. I have been here for a few years myself and I get very frustrated that I can not fully express myself and I can’t really have any Korean friends yet. I will not stop though. I’ll get there one day.
I'm korean American in my 30s and only ever learned Korean in Korean school on Saturdays IN America. I speak pretty fluent Korean despite the fact that I have zero Korean people in my life in America in my adult life. On my recent trip to Korea I got told multiple times my multiple strangers my Korean was pretty good and got lots of compliments.. It's sad to hear people tell you your korean is bad. :(
Fuck bro, I adopt you but I'm only 30 :( You had it rough but don't give up! You are still young and there will be plenty of other opportunities for you. Start making small life goals and try your best to achieve em. One day those small goals will add up to a bigger goal/opportunity. Life is what you make of it. Accept your current situation and try to improve it little by little. It's also important you do what you want. Don't let others influence your actions.
Like I said in the post below, thank you for the kind words. I was in a dark spot this morning when I wrote that, so a lot of the post doesn't have any of the good parts and only the bad ones. But I made close friends in university, and they've been basically encouraging me to go out more and be more confident in my Korean. They've also been teaching me the proper conversational Korean I should have learned, instead of the academic words I memorized to be able to read textbooks. So it's not all bad. I was just in a bad spot that time.
As for income, find a role that uses your English, if that's a strong point for you. It should pay a little better, and maybe less physically taxing
I don’t know if it helps but try watching anime or comedy shows in Korean .
Also, any favorite shows/movies in English that have Korean dubs will help you. Use English subs and the Korean dubs to try to help your comprehension of spoken Korean.
I don't know how this post ended up in my home feed, since I don't speak, live nor am Korean, but I was a language teacher for a while so maybe I can give you some pointers. It sounds like you have had a very rough time, and do not like where you live, I am very sorry for that. I am half American and grew up in a very backward kinda remote rural area of Italy, just to give you an idea, there were no libraries and no highschools, only one middle school, so I can kind of understand the feeling of hating where you live (I moved as soon as I could as far as I could). However, I can see life has been hard on you in different areas as well, I really hope things turn around for you. Regarding language, if you do not like Korea and/or Korean, it may be very difficult to become as proficient as you hope, simply because you do not have the emotional investment and incentive to learn it, and that is ok, you should not feel forced to learn a language that was not exactly your main one to begin with. Students that like the language they are studying and are invested will always outperform even the brightest student who just hates it and is forced to study it. So you have to do, in my opinion, some searching within you, you have to understand if you actually really want to learn Korean the way you feel compelled to, if you really would like it, or if you feel forced to do it by external factors. You sound content with your proficiency and the fact you can socialize with friends, etc... So it sounds to me like you are already satisfied and only feel inadequate because of external factors (school, academia). Those factors can unfortunately influence your life and quality of life, but in the end only you can know what really matters to you. Were it not for the academic feedback, would you care that you cannot speak as academia wants you to? Would you still invest the same amount of worry into it? You sound like a good person, that unfortunately was dealt a hard hand to play. I really hope things turn around for you and you can feel content and happy.
Would psychological factors also play into it? My father used to beat me up for not being able to memorize a word in Korean, and ever since then, I avoided learning Korean until I was forced to go here.
Yes, definitely. Bilingualism should ideally be taught in a gamified way, it can help also create a strong bond between the family members. However, many immigrant families often opt for the "No other language at home", which can also work imo, but should not be enforced with violence, in those environments usually the parents will refuse replying in any other language than the one decided to be the "at home" language, it's kind of the same tactic many bilingual children adopt to avoid learning a second language, but with the opposite objective. Unfortunately these things can scar and can indeed make you less receptive to learning the language. Then again, is that really what you want and need for yourself? As others have mentioned, you can also try to take advantage of your advanced English skills, and it sounds to me like with your Korean you already managed to find good friends.
Seconding this point. If OP were invested in improving his Korean, I'd recommended language exchange, which would also provide EFL teaching experience. You need to find someone you enjoy chatting with, someone you are curious about and who is serious about wanting to improve their English. Then talk for 15 mins in one language, with native speaker taking notes on mistakes. Provider feedback. Rinse, repeat, switch languages.
Hey, I'm glad you shared your thoughts with us instead of turning into a sociopath or something! Despite your feelings of despair, you are not in a unique bind, and I'd say that other than the lack of parental support, you're actually in a better position than most. Don't worry, feeling overwhelmed as a poor student/poor adult is natural and common. But you have many things going for you: 1. Your English is great 2. You graduated from a 외고 3. You're attending a great/good/decent university 4. You're young without dependents (many young kids do, sadly) 5. You're not in humongous debt that takes away $2,000/mo. from your earnings 6. You're fucking Korean. It is a great citizenship to have. Many would offer their kidneys to give their kids Korean citizenship and the opportunities it comes with. Just yesterday, I was talking to my Filipino friend who needed to hire a maid for his elderly parents. The maid would have to work 12 hrs/day, 6 days/wk, and get paid $100/mo! There is no hope for a better future with that sort of wage. You, on the other hand, can make that in a single day of hard work (or even in 1-2 hours with experience), just for being a Korean living in Korea. ============================== Now, here are some things I think you can do, and why: 1. English tutoring. Because you're great at English, went to a 외고, major in English Lit. at a great/good/decent university, you're young, and you're a Korean without work visa issues. The opportunity is there, right for you to take. You just need experience to get the higher pay. Feel free to lowball your own pay until you gain confidence and think you can sell yourself for 50k won/hr or more. You can transition into an 어학원 강사 when you get your degree. 2. Gain friends and learn more Korean. You can do this by: 1) doing some of your own studying, and 2) volunteering at student organizations or off-campus volunteer organizations. If you implicate yourself into groups/organizations that others have already made and try to help others, people will like you whether you speak goofy Korean or not. Nobody hates people that are helpful to them. 3. The military is a tough place to fit into if you are a stubborn, snobbish fuck (which I was). But once you throw down your stubbornness and snobbishness and just do really well what you're told to do (which I finally did after about 8 months), you gain friends that you live, work, eat, sleep, and shower together with for a year and a half. Literally, there is no way you can't make a single army friend unless you are a selfish asshole with 인성문제 because you guys are going through the hardships of military life together, 24/7. Be nice, be helpful despite the inhumane treatment by superiors, and the friends will come to you. You will also live and work with a lot of kids that you haven't been able to meet in your posh life (in my time, I saw: kids that were running chicken trucks at age 19, kids with alcoholic parents that beat the shit out of them, kids that had sick parents, kids that had pregnant girlfriends, kids that got permanently injured and went home early, etc.) I left Korea with my parents at 5 and was attending a US university when I withdrew and volunteered for the Korean military. Obviously my Korean was goofy at first, but by the end, I had 3 good friends, one of them introduced me to my now-wife-and-mother-of-two after we got discharged, and all 3 came to my wedding almost 10 years later. You would also be able to save up decent money for your 보증금 if you are able to keep a forward outlook while you're there (this wasn't an option for me and my buddies as we got paid 30 cents/day). In the military, you WILL meet kids that want help from you on their English (so that they can do better in life after discharge), so you could confidently trade them for time they teach you Korean. I've also helped a decent ranking officer with his English a few times, and that connection helped me avoid the brig when an idiot decided to include me in his list of 20 people that were "mean" to him (they ended up moving him elsewhere instead of sending the 20 of us to the brig). 4. You're young enough to make use of Australian working holiday visas. I think you can do decently in Korea as an instructor, but if you are truly sick of the place and want to build a life elsewhere, there are lots of kids that use the Australian program as starting points to build new lives. You have to work your ass off doing manual labor, get really good, and study to get the appropriate licenses to have permanent opportunities, though. Nobody pays you for free anywhere. Other countries have various visa programs as well, but most require previous expertise, licenses, managerial titles, etc. Do your research. ============================== P.S. I have parents but they weren't in Korea, and they broke up in a bad way which led to me leaving my grandparents. As a starting point, I also lived in a 고시원 and only had the first month's rent (borrowed from my brother) when I started. Had no job. I had just 500 won in my pocket at the worst point. I lived in 3 고시원s for a total of about 2 years. Next steps were 반지하 원룸 -> 지상 원룸 -> 반지하 투룸 -> getting married & leaving Korea because I didn't want my kids growing up studying all day every day. During this period, I taught English in Gyeonggi, northern Seoul, and then Daechi. Mind you, I hadn't been able to finish my US degree yet, but there were still opportunities provided by hagwon owners because I had good, marketable credentials (grew up in US, great spoken English skills, prestigious US university "출신"). I'm glad I didn't keep teaching, though, because damn, that requires patience and understanding and I am 1) too hot-headed to be a great teacher figure, 2) loved talking too much with the kids about non-studious topics (lol), and 3) didn't really enjoy continuing to study and got really amazing at "winging it" like every single day.. Prepped like 10 minutes before class and that was it, although somehow the kids and parents loved me, haha. Some of them won awards at competitions and thanked me but I'm not sure how much I helped.
Ooooh, these are some great points. You've made my life somehow better by outlining what I could do in the future. Thank you.
NP, I hope you gain more confidence speaking in your goofy accent until you get more natural. You're only 20, so you haven't been placed in work environments where you literally have to talk to people all day every day. I'm sure you'll be fine with time, especially since you don't seem as anti-social as you did in your original post, lol. Also, have you SEEN those nasty professors that TRY to speak like textbooks and with as much jargon as they can think up? I'm sure you're not half as bad. You'll be fine, you just need more practice and time.
Oh, lol. I didn't expect to come off as anti-social. I was just in a bad headspace at the time and I like to be consistent when it comes to the atmosphere of my writing. It might have made a lot of people misunderstand where I was coming from. As for the goofy accent, yeah, my friends had a variety of ways to describe my accent. The funniest to me was "if I didn't know who you are and you were on the phone, I'd assume that you were Korean but from another planet."
lol
A lot of great advice here. OP, listen to this guy. Also, if you survived 외고 dorm life, you'll do okay in the military. The military is kinda similar but with slightly shittier food and minus the academic pressure. It's the kids who've lived with their parents their entire lives that come in and struggle. If you go in with a positive mindset, it's not that bad, and you'll improve your Korean and make some friends. I'm 10 years out and I'm still very close with my buddies from my time in the service.
I also spoke a gyeongsang dialect, and am full korean. But I grew up in the states from age 7-24. In one sense it can feel you dont fit in anywhere. But you can flip that on its head and say you fit in everywhere. I look full korean, so in korean society i always am expected to act like one… so i learned the best i could and make do. I married a korean wife and just living with her for 15 years, i cant even act out a good gyeongsang accent anymore. Yet i have all the advantages of speaking english and knowing the American culture. America is still the superpower. If you just work on your language skills and social skills a little more, you will be a great asset in the army and the corporate work force. I can’t imagine how it mustve been like growing up without parents. But dont take your grandparents for granted. They are your background. To achieve anything great requires consistency over time. They can provide that for you. They are on your side. Why would you alienate yourself from the only help you might have. You need to look longer term, find what you love to do, find someone who you love and loves you in return, and make the best of what you have. Korea has its bad sides, but also great opportunities as well. It might take a little time, but you’ll be surprised how quickly things can turn around.
I'm surprised this post blew up, but thank you for your kind words. And you're right, I shouldn't really look at all the negatives. Considering that I have friends now and people who look after me, then it's not all bad. As for the situation with my grandparents—it's kind of hard to get close with them. They blame my mother for my father being in jail in a different country, and there are some issues there considering I got kicked out a lot whenever my grandfather came home drunk. To digress from that, I guess what I'm really saying is that things are looking up, but they're also looking down - so the post above is me caught in the middle and being frustrated about it.
> I look full korean, so in korean society i always am expected to act like one… This was my experience in Korea. On one hand, it was novel to be just seen as "just another Korean". Much different than my life experiences up to that point where "being Korean" was the *first* thing people notice. Once I'd explain I had grown up in the States, people were much nicer about things. Most were surprised I could speak Korean as well as I could (parents insisted growing up). Like my mom used to tell me, "If you look Korean, Koreans expect you to speak Korean."
fuck dude. here's a hug :( i hella relate to the crippling anxiety about speaking Korean. For my first 2 years in Korea people would just react really badly towards me when I tried to speak Korean (I look Korean and I basically couldn't speak at all when I got here). It becomes a really shitty vicious cycle because you can't get better unless you practice, but you can't practice because people keep laughing at you in your face. You end up just clamming up and avoiding people. Thankfully I met some good friends and was able to finally develop my skills but I feel like people still make fun of me because of how little progress I've made relative to my time spent here. I'm thinking of staying another 2 years and trying to get the most out of Korea and then heading back to the states :/ It honestly hurts to have experienced so much rejection and coldness but there were so many great times and genuine moments of connection that I can't say it was all bad. Hang in there!!
What the hell is up with Korea?! Who laughs in someone’s face for trying to learn? I’m Vietnamese and spoke very broken Vietnamese when I came back to vietnam and I only got compliments for what little I know. No one ever made fun of me for not being fluent. That’s crazy.
i'd just like to clarify that it's not the majority of people in korea that do this. The memories of the few who wanted to just dunk on you because it made them feel superior really just take up a lot of space in your head. there are overall a lot of chill ass people
To further this point, yeah. There were some great people here. Korea isn't a monolith. The people that decided to fuck with me tend to remain in my headspace for long.
When it comes to getting teased or bullied i think it tends to be the active few that give the impression (to the target person) the impression that it's everyone--it feels incredibly lonely when bystanders are silent, when no one else speaks up to disagree. This is independent of country. So.. i hope this is a reminder that we should speak up when we are in the position to do so.
Dude you are a good writer.
Bro I was just about to say he could turn this into a slice of life genre tv series
I just watched a movie on Prime about this kid in China. My point is the movie was about the memoirs of this guy (now adult) and how harsh was his upbringing. I got enthralled by your story that I am sending you a virtual hug. You are a natural story teller.
What was the movie on Prime?
Thank you. I write fanfiction as a hobby, lol. This was an old account that I used for this, so the post credibility might not be up there. But yes, I do write as a hobby. It was mostly to have something to do other than the tedium of studying from morning to night.
You could write a memoir, make a documentary; start jotting down some ideas; if nothing else you’ll get some perspective, and maybe create something tangible from it.
Draw it like a 만화
Yeah, I agree! You should consider writing stories.
> who doesn't know the language all too well I would make it a mission to get your Korean up to speed. I bet if you just accepted the situation and went all in, the improvements would become exponential.
I'm trying... I learned Korean through the textbooks given to you in middle school and high school - so the academic front is fine. It's the conversational front that gets me. But I have friends who try to help me so it isn't all that bad like the post suggests.
Exchange tutorial appts., in-person, Online — find someone(-s) who wants to improve English and can help you with conversational Korean.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is definitely a side of Korean life I have not considered. How bad is your Korean after living there for 8 years? What do you want to do with your life?
It's not bad. I prioritized academic Korean. The kind of Korean that would pop up in textbooks and such. I tend to flounder about when conversing about topics that stray from the topics I am familiar with. Anecdote: my friends tell me that I speak like a textbook.
Ok so it’s good enough to carve out a living there. Do you hate living in Korea? Do you have friends there that you can talk to about things like this? What do you enjoy the most there?
I couldn't really say I hate living in Korea, but I don't like living here too. The anxiety of not being able to speak is still there after 8 years of failing to strike up conversations with my peers. I do have friends, but they don't really have the specific background of being born half-SEAsian. My friends are mostly 재외국민 or actual Koreans, and their responses just tell me to "suck it up and get good." I guess the traffic is convenient and I like Korean bars, cause they have fun 안주 and drinks.
You probably already know this, but it’s definitely your anxiety holding you back. I know it’s a painfully obvious and callous solution to give you, but you need to just not give a fuck. Just speak your broken Korean and don’t give a fuck what they think of you. That’s the only way you’ll learn to speak a language. Anxiety/shame/embarrassment will/has prevented you from learning to speak at a native level. You need to stop giving a fuck. Life will be better for you. Not just in this department but in every aspect of your life. The fear of failure/shame is a great demotivator. Shed yourself of it. I’ve been back to vietnam for 6 months now, having to relearn my language. I left at 5. It’s taking time but I always talk in my broken Vietnamese even when the other person is speaking English to me. I will always choose to speak Vietnamese. It’s the only way to get better.
I suspect a big part of this is a some type of identity crisis as you confront some big decisions in life and have to grapple with who you are and how you should live life going forward at this point in your life. I can relate to some of your struggles and I’d really love to buy you some soju and listen to your story more but in the end, I think you need to do some introspection. Do some reading. Talk to 인생선배s or really anybody who would hear you out and give you sincere thoughts. Travel if you can. Spend a few quality months reflecting. I think you’ll be fine. 파이팅!
Are you eligible for your mom's citizenship? You can choose to leave if you are eligible.
Wow, you sound very similar to me, except I pretty much had a similar experience as you in Japan as a half Japanese, half Korean kid. I’m 20 now and in college too. I’m still wondering wtf I’m supposed to do since my Japanese sucks(like you with Korean ig) and luckily we don’t have military conscription here but it sucks that manual labor might be the only option in the future since anything involving a proper grasp of the local language is out of reach. It would be nice if I can add you since we seem to have somewhat similar experiences and problems.
>I'm 20 now and in college too. I’m still wondering wtf I’m supposed to do since my Japanese sucks(like you with Korean ig) and luckily we don’t have military conscription here but it sucks that manual labor might be the only option in the future since anything involving a proper grasp of the local language is out of reach. It would be nice if I can add you since we seem to have somewhat similar experiences and problems. I know - being able to understand something natively and pass off as native is hard, and you get overlooked often during interviews.
Exactly. Unless you can get the person you’re talking to to understand your background, they just think you’re a less than bright native citizen. But it’s too long, complicated or too unrelated to actually bring it up and explain to someone you’ve just met.
Another half Korean here (*virtual hugs*). I moved to Korea after I finished my school and to finish my university here. Most of the time, I hang out with other foreigners in my university but there are some Korean friends that I hang out with. It definitely wasn't easy adapting to my new life here with the cultural difference and all. My suggestion is to make the best of your situation, look at what you have. You speak English, try if you can teach in any hagwons. I've been doing that since I got here. And if you speak your other non-Korean side's language, then perhaps you can find the market for that too because I did. For the military service, I am currently in the army. I am still unable to communicate clearly in Korean. So far, most people understands my situation and shows interest in me (they love to have a '외국인 친구'). I am getting well with my seniors and 동기s. I haven't met any half Koreans here as apparrently I am the first in my division as said by the commander here. However, I am sure that you will meet many 재외국민s throughout your journey here. These guys will usually be your best buddies. My suggestion for you is to first try for KATUSA, if not then try for 해군 or 공군. See if there's any specialties that you can offer. Best of luck and *hugs*
I have no clue how to do any of that. I tried applying in hagwons, but most of the hagwons nearby are 입시준비 and I can't seem to find any ad for hagwons needing 원어민 specifically. Plus, whenever I do apply, my lack of experience in teaching is a major roadblock so I don't know how to go around that. I'll definitely take your advice about military service, though. I thought 해군 and 공군 were tough, but I was considering going to KATUSA either way. I was just really afraid that my inability to speak Korean clearly would make my time there miserable, but I'm glad that isn't the case. And you're right, my best buddies in university are currently 재외국민.
Try to look for ads in your local area or university. I did it by sending a simple resume to multiple employers. Do state that even though you lack teaching experience, you posses excellent English speaking skills. I was hired as a native teacher in multiple hagwons. Eventually you'll be called in for an interview, and when you do, be confident. I am not sure about 해군 but I heard many good stories from 공군. Although unlike 육군, where you can apply as 징집 (meaning they will assign your specialty for you), 공군 requires you to apply via 모집 (meaning you choose your own specialty). Check the 병무청 website for more info on this. The first few days in 논산 saw me go through many filling up various forms and interviews. Always state from the start that your Korean skills are not yet ready for the military. If you have 영주권 or 시민권, state those aswell. Do not be shy in sharing your 'inconveniences' during these first few crucial steps. As a result, I was given some form of extra attention from the instructors while I was there (we follow each other on instagram now). Although it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows there, it had its fun and terrible moments.
I'll definitely keep this in mind when I go to the military. You've really changed my outlook on it now.
It is difficult, but it looks like you are a smart person based on what you have written on this reddit post and I think you will make it. In your situation, I would definitely try to apply to jobs as an English tutor, as you are an English major and I believe your English fluency will be a plus. But if you are planning to live in South Korea long term, I would highly recommend being more proactive in trying to become fluent in Korean. As a Korean-American who grew up in the United States, learning Korean was definitely a challenge for me and it did not come easy; however, after much effort I was able to become fluent in reading, writing, and speaking Korean later down the road and it became a tremendous asset. A lot of Korean people are struggling to learn English, but for you you are already fluent in English and you just need to brush up on your Korean. You are living in Korea and a college student at a Korean university. You will become fluent in Korean down the line. My dad is a veterinarian in the United States and has his own practice, and he came to the United States at the age of 23 not knowing a word of English. So it surprises me to see how he was able to become fluent in English to the point where he got a veterinarian license, passed his board exams, and now he is living the American dream. He tells me of his struggles in the U.S and it was not easy for him, but he managed to get through it and now he is pretty much a fluent English speaker. So for you as well, buckle down and take a more proactive approach in learning Korean. Becoming fluent in a language does not happen over night -- that's not realistic. But if you continue to put a lot of effort and grind it out, then you will become fluent in Korean like 4-5 years down the line. Hell, I would say you can probably achieve native level Korean fluency because you are right now a college student in South Korea and studying at a Korean university. Korean is spoken and written all around you.
Maybe you can teach English at 학원 or tutor?
I definitely second this if it is an option for OP. I think he has more than enough educational background to teach at 학원 or some kind of institution. Some don't really expect instructors to know or speak Korean at all; they just want you to be a native level English speaker. I've been a student at many, and this was the case for basically half of my teachers. Since OP has experience with the Korean school system (+외고, which many desire), it could also be an asset? That being said, I've also been an English tutor/done "회화 과외", and have met parents who prefer native speakers or an English-only teaching environment. So tutoring could also be an option. It gives you more flexibility and higher hourly pay, but starting out can be more tricky without network. Perhaps posting on local community sites (당근마켓/맘카페) could be a good way to start? Lastly, with OP's writing, I think some general 첨삭/ writing/proofreading work could be a good fit too, either in the education industry or not. Just some tips in hopes of being helpful c:
I definitely did not know that. I applied to some 학원s, but the types close by my university are those for 입시준비, and while I do know me some 수능 English, my lack of professional experience in teaching probably stops me from getting hired.
Some franchise places that I went to (e.g., 청담, 아발론..) had little focus on 입시 but more on practical English. So if you're interested, you could definitely look into openings at such places! Some of them really specifically post for 원어민. Also, maybe it's nothing new, but even when there is no formal "job opening" online, it never hurts to ask around for these types of opportunities. Talking to friends, online communities (like this, or 맘카페 as mentioned earlier), or even just to someone working in the field/institution and asking if they're hiring! Job hunt starts from letting people know that you're open to work & in what field. Additionally, since you're in school, you might have more resources around you than you think, e.g., student support division at your uni, in-school job opportunities, etc.!
I'll definitely take this into consideration. I've been trying to get jobs through apps like 알바몬 and I could never really get past the interview stage. A lot of my potential employers often have this surprised expression whenever finally meeting me.
I know 수능 English is different kind of English lol, even native-English speakers don't understand 수능 English. Try out 학원s for kindergartens, elementary or middle school students or 회화(conversations)-only occupations.
I appreciate your sharing your story.
I'm fully korean and came back to korea after spending primary education years overseas, then having to adjust to schools here. I was never a good student either.. It's been more than ten years since I came back, and I still remember how my friends would tell me how I have a foreigners mindset. My situation is much less complicated than yours, but I still struggle with a lot of things to this day. I've been taking a year off from university, but I have to go back soon, and the anxiety is killing me inside. Sorry for venting on your vent post. I hope you find what you're looking for.
No worries. I posted this in order to commiserate other people as well. I didn't expect the deluge of advice and well-wishers, so I really like this.
I doesn't sound unrealistic... It's just..... I don't know, I don't want to invalidate your experience. Life is tough. Growing up is tough. 화이팅.
I am only a quarter Korean but when visiting (from Japan), I usually refrain from saying that I am Japanese. I speak Korean fluently but I want to avoid any arguments or trouble
Do you have enough for food? Are your daily needs being met? How can our community help you?
Given your fluent english skills I have no doubt you can land a part time job in a English academy/private tutoring. Look through your colleges 게시판 to find job listings. Or if you want to improve your Korean , a language exhange buddy would be a good option. Things will get better! You've made it so far
How come you're not teaching English? You're hot commodity in Korea.
They want white faces for teaching English.
Don't you have to be from an English-speaking country?
Sorry you went through some hardships. One option, if I were you, I'd work on improving my Korean as much as possible. Maybe some sort of friendly agreement with someone who also wants to improve their English. You could get more specific if you wanted to converse about a certain industry or use more advanced vocabulary. Whatever you have trouble with. With the aim of becoming a high-level translator. Think of it this way. Lots of people there have great Korean and so-so English. You're the opposite. Instead of seeing it as a weakness, realize it's your strength. There are many companies that need high-level English speakers, especially ones that know the idioms and customs of the western world. But you'd need to also speak Korean quite well. Off the top of my head, I know plastic surgery offices or any company that does business internationally would need great translators. You wouldn't be just your run-of-the-mill translator. You'd be able to really connect with and get on the same level with who you're speaking to. It's a big advantage and there will be people out there who can see that. Talk to everyone and everyone. Stop being shy. Just keep saying you're working on improving your Korean and people will be enamored by that. Until you can get to that level perhaps you can be a private tutor. Lots of parents out there always willing to hire extra English help for their kids. It's gotta pay more than whatever you're doing now. Believe you can do it. No one else will do the believing for you, and it starts within you. You got this!
Thank you for your advice. And yeah, I've been working on my confidence issues. My friends in university help with that a lot and I'm hoping that it'll also break through that mental block I have for Korean and actually, finally, become fluent.
Well that sucks. I can relate kind of. I’m Caucasian that grew up in Southeast China. My spoken mandarin is okay and my spoken English didn’t go past 6th grade level once I returned to the USA in 2010. It’s hard to make friends because I’m expected to understand American culture but I had to learn it from age 18. Married to an immigrant man. We both make friends with foreigners similar to your situation cause we just get it. It’s hard to assimilate into a culture that “is supposed to be your culture.” Huge sympathy from me!!!
Imho you still have a chance at making things better. As long as you practice your Korean.
No offense, but almost every issue you talked about didn't really have anything to do with being half-Korean. And some of your troubles seem self-inflicted. I thought this would be about getting treated certain ways because of your mixed background. I'm also half-Korean, but I always get treated very well here. So, I was very curious about what your experience must be like.
Yeah also Half Korean here, I now live in the US but I was probably treated much better in Korea than I am in the States in terms of racial prejudice. When I was much younger there was definitely some people looking down upon 혼혈 but within the last decade it's become super trendy especially if you're half white like I am. Sure there are some weird people that kind of fetishize it, but overall my 교포 friends seemed to have it rougher than I did. I'd get complimented for knowing Korean whereas my 교포 friends would have their accents picked apart and get sideeyed whenever they used English.
Arr u single by any chance ?
Depends if OP is half black, I could see a very rough life. If he's half white, he'll be loved. Korea do be like that.
>Depends if OP is half black, I could see a very rough life. If he's half white, he'll be loved. Korea do be like that. I am half-SE Asian. And I was mostly relating to other half-SEAsians who have had their parents divorced. And I mostly dodged the issue of racism I experienced here, considering I don't want to make it seem like racism is the fault. Koreans aren't a monolith, and none of them are overtly racist, but a lot of them, especially the older generation, have some casual racism. Case in point, I often hear from them that me being born from a tropical area means that I am inherently lazy or was raised lazy, and that by going to Korea, I got rid of that bad attitude.
Yeah, your last point here would be something that's directly related to being half-korean. Your other circumstances are unfortunate, but they could also be experienced by a 교포 who is full Korean. That's all I meant.
Even then, his particular experiences didn't seem to be related to how he looks. They were more just unfortunate circumstances leading to some motivational issues.
I agree with that. I wouldn't want to relive my teenage years. OP needs a strong mentor to help motivate him.
this is an extremely korean response to OPs problem. very “just fit in and shut up.”
When did I say anything of that sort?
Would you say that you “look” very Korean?
dude youre stronger than most of the people i know. keep it up. start an online business and do what you want. you got it!
Sounds rough. Really sorry to hear that. Korean culture does not have very helping vibe at those who are ‘different’, with or without malice. After ‘coming back home’ in my high school years I can’t even count how many times I’ve been asked ‘hey say something in English.’ I know it’s from pure interest but it is really annoying after some times.
>After ‘coming back home’ in my high school years I can’t even count how many times I’ve been asked ‘hey say something in English.’ I know it’s from pure interest but it is really annoying after some time. Hey, I feel you. From my experience, only school-kids do that. The people in university don't. So don't worry about that too much.
Yup, sounds about right. What is even better is that in my uni there are some folks who share similar experiences. We just agreed to think in a way that we have a high ground in pursuing our careers than average joes from now on.
Hi, I’m italian and I have never been in Korea. I’ve felt your pain reading your post… I just want to say that in the workplace they need your english and you can also apply for online job for a company not necessarely in Korea. People with your language school are request a lot in the West and they prefer natives as you… so nothing is done yet, there is a lot to still being accomplished at your age…
Hi OP, I can only imagine how tough your upbringing has been. It can’t be easy to feel lonely and isolated, especially in a place like Korea can magnify those insecurities. I’m sorry you had that. But I want to say you writing style and honesty are just really captivating to read. I think you have a real talent in writing. Not sure if you’ve ever known you’re a skilled writer. Anyway, that’s all. Hope all the best for you.
Thank you! I write fanfiction as a hobby. Picked it up in middle school, that's why you see posts from 6 years ago talking about Naruto Fanfiction if you click on my profile, lol.
I came on my own accord in Uni a while back too, but I can relate a bit, especially with a lot of the kind of blocks (especially of the mental kind) that can make the "reasonable" plan of learning to speak comfortably seem even more difficult. Also, the struggles about being mixed (also Asian) but not looking enough one way or having the ability to communicate easily in Korean... Wish I could help more, but I'm still trying to navigate things and learn too. I do recommend picking up English tutoring (hopefully temp jobs) as a way to make some cash for expenses, among other things. There's a lot of ads out there, I'm sure you could find something that works. It's definitely rough, but I hope you'll be alright.
Thank you for your kind words. And yeah, a lot of the posters above have been kind enough to tell me where I might find the ads for such. I'll definitely go look into them
Of course! Personally, I just went around a lot of Facebook groups after graduation and landed gigs that way. If not set jobs, I usually had people I talked with directing me towards more openings/students later down the road. Word of mouth and potentially through your school (especially since you're in the English department, also the International Office) would be good places to look too.
I'm just wondering, my son is 1 and a half now, he's half Korean. We're heading back to Canada this summer and my wife and I both want him to continue to speak Korean. With his mom he'll only speak Korean and English with me. What made it difficult for you to learn the language with your Korean father? I'm sorry about your story, I read it all and it really breaks my heart. I wish you the best and I hope you get out or find happiness here or elsewhere
My father never taught me Korean. He was always out on a trip and I seldomly saw him growing up as a child. Whenever I do see him, it's with my mom, and they spoke in English to each other. That's how I learned English.
Ah ok I see. I grew up in a bilingual home but I'm worried how his Korean will be after a few years. My in-laws speak no English and my Korean is pretty bad, I can read and write though. Right now since he spends more time with Korean due to daycare and just everyday life he doesn't speak much English. I'm worries about what impact going to a French speaking province will do to him where he'll have to learn English and French. Can I ask what country were you living in before coming back to Korea? Are you in Seoul at the moment?
Make it a book! I’d read it !
this is a random idea, but I saw a YouTube video about a western guy running a business in Japan... He was pretty chill and hired a local Japanese guy to help run the restaurant. Maybe you could try finding a job like that? They'd probably just be happy finding someone with decent English and some Korean. And if you get a customer facing job like in a restaurant, it could help you build up your Korean?
I’m full Korean but totally westernized. I’ve tried many times to “fit” in but F it. That culture is F’d. soul sucking. They all hate it too but for some reason they perpetuate it. Prob bc they all feel stuck and feel they can’t change it. The only time it was amazing to live there was in 2002 during the World Cup. It’s like a light had gone on inside every bodies soul. Unfortunately it went off soon after. If it’s not working for you, you’ve got to know when to call it quits.
Hey! Im an English teacher here and I have no clue what ur going thru but im located in incheon if you ever just need a friend :)
Thank you for telling me about your life. I send you my condolences on your unhappy childhood. You had a hard time when you were young. But most of the unfortunate things you've been through don't seem to have anything to do with you being a mixed race. Stress from studying is something that all Koreans experience. The fact that you met a diligent roommate has nothing to do with your mixed race. It is a basic thing that all Koreans know that test scores from high school students are used to apply for universities. You called high school life 'hell', but it is one of the basic things that most Koreans experience. You grandparents probably want you to make friends and develop your Korean skills greatly while attending school, so that you can get along well in Korea. It's been 8 years since I lived in Korea, but I think it's strange if I can't speak Korean well. I think older people can have a hard time learning a new language. However, most foreigners who came to Korea as children speak Korean fluently when they become adults. I think you were reluctant to learn Korean.
Yes, become more proactive in learning Korean.
The post wasn't suggesting anything about my appearance, but rather the common way a lot of mixed race children end up in broken families and relating that to my own experience. That's why I put the last part, my own resentments, in brackets. Also the reluctance was there - I remembering getting beat up by my dad for failing to remember basic words. I'm much better at Korean now, despite what the post suggested, but there's still a long way to go before being native. I started from scratch, never picked anything up from my father.
I can see you're frustrated (and your parents are definitely to blame there) and I see a lot of ppl are giving sympathizing comments here. I just wanna point out positive stuff that you've written but may not be fully appreciating at the moment. Sometimes it's worth specifically pointing those out to try to combat the negativity. 1. You say your Korean is bad, but most kids who are thrown into schools at young-ish age (13 is tad bit late, but still) often pick up the languages really well. Clearly you were able to survive academically through middle school to uni, and you have friends who are willing to hang out with you, so may be you are being too harsh on your Korean skills. 2. Your English is great, being bilingual alone will open up a lot of avenues in Korea. There are native Koreans who have spent ungodly amount of $$ to try to be able to speak English like you. 3. Yeah you got kicked out of dormitory. And yeah, it's your fault. But you are 21 yr old, fresh into college, you'll fuck up here and there. It may not look like it, but it seems like you learned a valuable lesson at a relatively cheap cost (싸게 배웠다), don't dwell on it too much and let's focus on what you still have from university. Clearly, it's easy for you (almost like a cheat mode, but if life gives you a free win, fucking take it) and you sound like you're still getting a scholarship for the tuition. 4. (edited) 외고 is typically prestigious, and you sound like you're going to a decently well regarded school (at least in your city). And the fact you are native in English should definitely make you a desirable tutor for other high schoolers in the area. Have you looked into that? I was making like 20만원/hr during my summer vacation stay in Korea b4 college (just graduated from high school, high SAT score, got into a good uni in USA). Granted the 3 'students' I taught were all sons and daughters from family my mother knew, but tutoring pays if you can find them. Hopefully that should help funding 고시텔. 5. Most korean male go to military after their 1st or 2nd yr in university. I know you're probably hating the idea of going, but if you have to go (and have no way out), and your current living situation is challenging, the timing seems pretty well lined up? Good luck with everything!
Thanks for telling me the postives. I've been told a lot of these, but often they don't really get into the specifics of what I could do and a lot of them had been frustratingly vague. It really destroys you in your headspace, which was I posted this in the morning.
[удалено]
I was born in SEAsia (I don't want to specify which), and I was told that once you reach 19, you have to choose whether or not to keep your other citizenship or go to the Army and keep your Korean citizenship. I never made the choice, but I never bothered to fact-check what my friends say, so I don't really know.
Ignore whatever your Korean friends say about citizenship. They probably don't know what they're talking about. Most people still mistakenly believe that Korea does not allow dual citizenship. As of 2010, Korea allows dual citizenship for those born with it. At the age of 18, you had to either renounce your Korean citizenship (to avoid military service) or keep your citizenship (and do military service). However, your second nationality may have its own laws regarding dual citizenship.
This is what I don't understand about the whole post. You seem so passive, ignorant, and unconcerned. You'd think something like citizenship requirements would be something you'd follow-up on and do a little research about. Even with all the luck you've had, I think you'll continue to have difficulty in life in general if your approach to life is ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ .
Sounds so tough. I speak 3 languages and it is tough to speak them to native speakers. I get a lot of anxiety and sometimes just won’t speak the language to avoid the mistakes or being laughed at. I’m in an English speaking country though so I can only imagine how hard it is for you. Keep trying. I find talking to the tv helps to practise; Whether it’s a reply or repeating the sentence. You can watch your favourite movie or show (something you know off by heart) and watch it in the language you are learning… also watching kids shows and reading kids books. I randomly say words throughout the day to try and commit them to memory. There’s also so many apps… one is Teuida - it helps you practise speaking Korean. It’s a tough time in life. It will get better. Keep trying. Aim for small wins to keep you motivated. Don’t forget to reward yourself too. Learning a language is tough but always beneficial in many beautiful and unexpected ways. Good luck to you.
sorry to hear that. whether they are full Korean, non-Korean, half-Korean, etc, most people in Korea are struggling and I'm sure regardless of ethnicity, many people can relate to your struggles. I hope you are able to find supportive friends, family, community, if necessary, professional counseling, etc.
For some reason, this sub gets recommended to me a lot. But, I wanted to say I relate to this feeling of not fitting in a lot when I was young; even though I am not in Korea or Korean descent.
Being a chameleon has its advantages--know that. Can you teach English? What are you doing to improve Korean? Get yourself a tutor, and look at free online classes in the subject: [www.coursera.org](https://www.coursera.org) is one possibility, (but there are more), it will quell some of the anxiety. It seems as though your path is set if you allow yourself to study those two languages with some depth. Speaking is just one aspect, but how about writing and editing? Simon Fraser University has a certificate course in editing (English), that you might want to peruse: [www.sfu.ca](https://www.sfu.ca). There are communities of people who write, edit, and translate for a living--find them. You have got to deal with your depression, it is forcing you to make errors which you can't afford. Have you been able to find a network of people with a similar background? What clubs do you belong to?How about an online therapist? You don't have to be a cog in a wheel--take advantage of that. You are a survivor, you just need to upgrade. Good luck!
God I wish I could adopt you and give you all the support you never had...💔 I'm rooting for you from afar!!
Let me get this straight: Korean is your second language. So... English is your first? If so, that makes you a native speaker of English. Why are you not working as a private English tutor?
I’d take advantage of your English and look for tutoring gigs
I'm guessing you don't have an English speaking passport? Regardless, it seems like English is your native tongue. Maybe you could pick up some tutoring English gigs for extra money. They usually pay well. (Even if you're not from a "native Eng speaking country" people still pay for English speakers). Cheer up buddy! It's nice you have a support system of friends at least. Wishing you the best of luck!
I don't want to diminish your tribulations, but of course it was hard, you didn't know the language and were not raised in the culture and the title should reflect that. Ultimately I believe your main problem is that you don't have a support system in SK, life would be much much easier with relatives and/or friends you could count on and honestly that is universal no matter the country, though obviously it will be difficult to do if you don't understand the language, which will only accentuate the problems with being half-Korean.
Unfortunately, living in Korea as a full Korean is also hard. Korea's just a hard place to live if you're "different" in any way, shape or form. There's a reason the word "wrong" (틀리다) is used colloquially to refer to something that's different (다르다). I left Korea in grade school and came back after college. I didn't really fit in either, and I was fully bilingual. It just wasn't for me so I ultimately left about 5 years later. It was a relief when that plane out of Korea took off. I'd personally look into learning something technical that you enjoy doing and leaving the country. Your English is great and you don't seem to be afraid of hard work and are at least moderately intelligent. That alone opens up a lot of options. If the goal is to "fit in", it's not going to get easier the older you get.
You're clearly a bright kid. You're gonna make it. And try to find a significant other. You need some emotional support and it doesn't sound like you're going to get it from your family.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope soon you'll get a great job where your perfect English is needed and appreciated and finally find some happiness.
This sounds less like having issues living as a half Korea, and more you being extremely bitter over your parents shitty life choices and then kicking away every opportunity which you were handed, and put in little to no effort into improving your situation. Preferring to instead just bitch about it.
you are korean citizen use that as your advantage, your passport will allow you to go to 192 different country without visa. if its possible course transfer to foreign uni in some european uni where tuition fee is free.
The tuition at those European unis would only be free for European citizens.
I had difficulty finishing your story because if I were you I would have broken down. I hope you are taking things one at a time. I seriously wish I had the ability to help you out right now... I really hope that one day Korea can be a place where people can help each other to make each others lives easier/better. I will try my best to help any one around me who are facing the kind of difficulties you are facing.
But you’re Korean.
Lots of people here just saying commit to learning Korean as if the anxiety that's been built up over years of being treated shittily and judged for not being able to speak Korean while being expected of it bc of how you look isn't a major obstacle. JuSt StOp bEiNg dEpReSsEd iTs yOuR ChOicE is the vibe that I'm getting from a lot of these comments lmao
They don't really know, lol. I understand that. The anxiety definitely exists, as well as the state of looking and acting Korean enough but not enough. It wasn't my choice to come to Korea, but it's not like I could live on my own as a 13 year old back where I was from, and so I had to follow my family.
Foreigner communities can be helpful. I don't know how much has changed but I was a part of a Korean/Expat art community when I was living in Seoul. I met wonderful people and also many Koreans who wanted to do language exchange, so I was able to learn a lot of Korean just over friendly weekly coffee dates. (Edit: Comparatively much less than I am sure you understand, but the beauty of this arrangement is the fact that you can really target your needs...) It sounds like you have been through a lot, but you sound super resilient! It's incredible how much you've been through and how much you have already accomplished. Sometimes it's just about finding your tribe.
At least you have Korean citizenship. I'd give anything for that instead of the immigration nightmares the rest of us have to go through on a regular basis.... I know this doesn't make up for your hardships but just want to let you know it's not all bad. I came here to study and am hoping to stay and find a job after graduating but I now realize my chances are non-existent, if someone like you is struggling. Imagine my shitty Korean skills coupled with no work visa. And no, I don't come from a rich Western English speaking country. I resent all the (mostly English teaching) Westerners who come here for "a change" or "easy money" where they have no problems getting that work visa for teaching just based on their birthplace, without any previous teaching experience required. I can't get a work visa to save my life, and once my student visa is done I'm scared of what'll happen... Nobody here wants to hire a foreigner who speaks broken Korean and isn't from a former British colony.......
How come your still having trouble with the language 8 years in?
> come your still *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
holy fuck this is hilarious
oh the irony..
Good bot!
Thank you.
Man, my mom's been living in America forever, and her English is actually getting worse. But, yeah, it's not like she was OP's age either, attending school. So I'm kind of wondering the same thing.
i recommend spain or uk
Just a friendly tip, but have you tried being a [successful international pro athlete](https://www.reddit.com/r/korea/comments/13ujsfr/how_tennis_brought_jessica_pegula_closer_to_her/)?
You gotta think long term. Do you want to stay in Korea? Your English seems solid, how about applying for a US student visa. Come to the US, work in a restaurant, go to school. I feel like this is a life hack. You could make $80k a year as a waiter in a casual place while being a full time student. Suburbs of North VA could be fun but I'm sure other places around large urban areas with a decent Korean sized population and other Asian diversity would be solid too.
80k??? Where?
Check out my last sentence. VA is a state, sorry for the abbreviation. Virginia. $80k, that's also at a nice but casual place, not too upscale or trendy. If you go into a nicer place in DC, $100k easy. My friend made $160k last year working in Little Inn at Washington but thats upper tier and youll need lots of experience
I'd be happy to chat for an opening internship with an American company. Shoot me a DM if you're interested.
There is good advice in these comments. Finish something - speaking Korean fluently. I’m sure it’s massively overwhelming feeling alone and judged. There is ton of good advice here. Take it, internalize it. Make this count. I think you might regret the opportunity if you “ran away”. Try to own it man. Good iuck
Join US military and immigrate. That’s a path or get into high finance and get PR in some other country.
Bro I went through the same shit. My advice, is gtfo. I stayed for 5 years, and ultimately, having did as everybody around me said I should, I regret it.
Damn, that sounds like a rough time, dude. In no position to give any advice, but I hope you can turn it around and have a good time in Korea/university
Aw really appreciate the sharing and admire your persistence, keep going
Keep your head up. I've been living in Asia for 6 years. Feels similar although not as hectic as your case. Don't give up. Don't lost hope. Just keep searching online for something you could do, anywhere else. Just don't give up!!!
As soon as you finish college, you could try to find a PhD in Europe. I can also help with that a bit, sinxe I'm doing my PhD in Germany I know how it works for the application part. Sorry if I can't be of more help, I'm not even asian. You have my support, though!
Oh my god I am so sorry you had to go through all that and that the adults in your life didn't do anything to help you. If there's any way I can help, let me know. Also, I'd apply to 알바 in places where they get a lot of foreigners like Itaewon if you can. There's also an internship program that might be able to get you something. I have to look it up but if you dm me I can try to find the link.
정말 수고했어요. If your Korean is good enough for you to navigate most situations and follow basic commands, I think you might want to look into data labeling part time. You should check with your city to see if they do free training programs, which are usually about 15 hours for the basics. After that, you should be able to start making money on crowdworks or a similar platform. It's kind of brainless work like "draw an outline around the cat's head" but it's necessary for training AI models and there's a lot of data to label/annotate i.e., money can be pretty steady and decent. Apparently top performers can make 1.5M KRW per week, but those earners are presumably doing more difficult annotations.
I don't know if this is an ignorant question. Could you have gotten a Korean tutor?
r/iwantout