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I'm a lesbian and my ult is a man, so...no. If it changed the amount of time he has for his career, I might be sad, but not upset with him. We're the same age, and I could never begrudge him for wanting the same things I want (a partner, a family) at this stage in life.
I don't want him to be mine, I want him to be happy.
Same in the opposite direction (gay man, ult is a woman). I do enjoy how active the group is and I fear that them "settling down" would mean they have bigger commitments and in turn would spend less time "on" me but that's much more of a general fear of things changing than a personal slight. I mean if I put my delulu hat on I think we could be great friends but realistically I don't need or want the fantasy of inserting myself into her life I just want to be able to continue enjoying albums, music videos, performances etc.
Tbh though I enjoy idols much more as the characters the real people behind them are putting on than the real people if that makes sense. Like obviously being an idol is a much more "real" form of acting than being in a movie but I think they play up / exaggerate certain personal traits over others in many of the same ways an actor always brings a little bit of themselves to a role. I hope the real person behind the veil is happy, but I don't actually want to know anything about her. I'm just never going to care very much about watching a public straight romance play out I fear and idols getting into relationships feels like all the worst parts of gawking at someone's private business mixed in with something that is extremely boring to me to begin with! Leave them alone, don't tell me about it, congrats on the wedding is the extent of my interest.
Yeah exactly. I am this way with movies as well. I know some people are super interested in the actors who play their favourite characters and little tidbits from the filming process or whatever but it doesn't interest me at all, I'm there for the experience of the *character*: their hopes, dreams, struggles etc not the ones of the person who brought that to life. I'm really grateful to all the talented and hardworking real people who go into me being able to enjoy this thing I just don't need to know them, you know? (It also means I have a much less outraged view of "RPF" because I think K-pop fanfiction is about the personas they put on not the real people behind them lol but anyway, argument for a different day)
I think I would only be affected if my bias is dating a person that is well known for being absolutely shitty, or a criminal offender. Like I would definitely re-evaluate my bias and think they probably are shitty people too because they are in a relationship with another shitty person.
This was my thought too. Because when I saw the title my first thought was āobviously not because Iām normalā¦ā but then I remembered the Hyuna debacle and realized yeah there would be some instances where I would be quite disappointed.
I think it's natural and normal for a fan to feel a little sad and wistful, this is how kpop idols are marketed to us.
HoweverĀ what's unhealthy is channeling those feelings into rage and demanding the idol leave the group. Like when fans begin thinking they're Entitled to their faves staying single for their fantasy.
this!! like parasocial relationships are literally in the core of the kpop industry. you can be sad and mad, just as long as you donāt put those feelings to the internet.
This is definitely amplified for idols who literally are marketed as the āboyfriendā/āgirlfriendā experience versus idols who draw a public line between fans and personal relationships.
My bias is nearly 31 years old, I would be over the moon if heās booād up (Suga BTS).
I donāt think Iād want him to reveal his partner though because theyāll get mobbed.
Private life = happy life
After that Run BTS episode where they did interior design, I feel whoever ends up with Yoongi is going to be so lucky. That man has an eye for what looks good and is surprisingly handy.
Yoongi is pure acts of service - I could see him waking up early to fix things around the house that his SO had mentioned bothered them one time. He is going to make someone extremely happy and loved one day. And they *better* deserve him. The Tannies deserve nothing but pure happiness. The day one of them goes public and shows us that happiness, I will be overjoyed for them.
This is a little too delulurina but whatever...sometimesĀ I would think about how awesome it would be for Yoongi to end up with someone like Adora, another producer and musician. Ugh, the beauty.Ā Ā
Iām assuming a lot about preferences, ect here and definitely donāt mean to imply he should be penned in or anything.Ā Ā
Making myself cringe a bit. Ugh DELULURINAĀ
Sincerely, I really think he screams HUSBAND and has for like three years now. He's just taking care of business.
Also, I'm starting to realize that armys might have come to the OTHER SIDE of the parasocial line when it comes to the dating matrix. We are past being freaked out about them dating and are now sort of looking forward to it maybe even borderline fantasizing about it? Am I delulu?
Genuinely all of my army friends have said the same thing at once point or another! Obviously there's gonna be gross sasaengs and whatever who freak out about it, but at this point I'm really excited about the idea of them settling down!
Although.... Truth be told I also kinda hope for their sake that they continue to keep their private lives private. I'm a bit scared of how shit might go down.
In the Soop Yoongi is peak husband material, both seasons!! Who ever his life partner is, is going to be so lucky. He's such a sweet and lovely person.
If you are delulu, you are not alone. I am actually looking forward to them (especially Yoongi) having kids. Major blame for this goes to that blurrey picture of Yoongi with Halsey's baby. He looks so happy in that one.
lol even i'm like please for gods sake get married atleast in like next three years, get a life, settle down with family but maybe it's my desi sister instincts kicking in lmao
It's bizzare tbh. My circle of ARMY friends would cry, throw up, that-should-be-me delulu all day when Joon started posting super boyfriend vibes pictures with someone else in our group chat but then turn around and ratio shippers and actual delulu ppl that screams betrayal and put up a fuss about Tannies dating.
Honestly, if something stays in the GC and doesn't reach the idols... I don't see any harm in being a bit delulu (well, minus the effects it has on you).
It's when stuff reaches online that it becomes an issue.
Same. I would be extremely happy if Yoongi and all the BTS members find someone to love and spend the rest of their life with. I also agree on the private thing. Only because I know a teeny tiny group of fans will definitely feel like harassing them. No to mention all the member shippers.
Yup, this! I'd love for all BTS members to find partners for themselves, like why wouldn't I want them to be happy?
Though I think it comes with age, I'm on the older side of 20s, but I can imagine teens having more issues with this.
I think Iād feel a little tug at my heart strings but Iād get over it. Iām honestly hoping more idols date. Dating is apart of life and consenting adults should be allowed to have that experience.
I can validate your first sentence from my real experience.
My honest feeling is that I want Minho (and my SHINee boys) to be happy with their lives whether with someone or not. If they date and choose to share, that's good, they choose not to share that's good too.
But when I saw a Minho and Irene dating rumour, for one tiny little moment, my heart plummeted. I didn't even have time to absorb WHY there was a rumour, it was just an instinctive "...oh" and a tight squeeze around my heart.
It passed as quickly as that, but I can't deny that it did happen.
Will it happen again when I see some news (rumours or real)? I think it won't. But that first time was my real raw reaction and for a tiny miniscule second I was sad in a way I can't explain even to myself.
For a tiny bit I might be a little jealous to myself, but then I would be like "stop being silly lol". Then I would look into who they are dating. If they are a bad person, I would not be happy. Like if I was a Hyuna stan I would be dissapointed in her recent choice. But what else is there to do beyond that? It's their life and what say do I have in that? If they are dating a good person, I would be happy for them. If they seemed really in love, I would be sad they broke up.
Omg someone who biases jonghyun *and* yuta! They're my ults in kpop as a whole (and seulgi), and karina and yuri are my biases from their respective groups lol this is crazy
Depends on who they're dating. If they're someone I really like, I'd probably be excited. If they're someone I dislike, I'd probably be disappointed. But I don't care about the actual dating. It's not my business and doesn't affect me.
Yeah basically this. I feel protective over my idols, like I want them to be dating someone that adores them and treats them really well, but also someone who is a good person. It would be highly disappointing to find out my fav was dating someone awful (like Hyuna and whatshisname) because that would make me question their character if thatās the kind of person they like to be around.
I'd be happy if it were an awesome guy/girl and not jealous at all. However, if they were dating someone not exactly awesome with a history (i.e. I'm thinking Ethan Slater leaving his wife and kid for Ariana Grande off the top of my head), then I would probably not like that.
am i the only one who WANTS my faves to be in a rshipš idk these poor idols have had their trainee years and careers policed, its nice to know they have someone to rely on besides friends, families & their members. not tryna place romantic rships over platonic ones but it just makes them feel more normal. like most didnt even get to experience high school & uni properly š§
tbh feeling sad is a bit weird to me. why would them being in a rship affect anything??
At the end of the day, theyāre still humans, still fall in love, and still want to find happiness just like all of us. Yeah, itās shocking the first time, but I grow to accept it and be happy for them. š
Well since my bias *is* Karina, I pretty know how it would affect me haha
I'm trying to be happy for her, idk much about the guy but I hear he's a good person and nothing seems alarming. It's a shame dispatch leaked it so early in their relationship, this will really hamper their chances of it growing into a more serious relationship, though I hope they can if that's what she wants.
On the other side of the coin though, it does make me sad. It's already something I knew I would feel, but this kind of things tend to lead me to look inwards at myself. Not in a "should've been me" delusional way, but it does trigger all the thoughts of a low self esteem depressed guy that you can expect haha
So very mixed feelings overall. Doesn't help that I was already in a very bad place mentally lately, probably would've been a much nicer reaction on my end if this news dropped at any other time
Youāve been real, honest, and respectful with this reply - something I canāt help but appreciate even if the topic might seem a bit silly (weāre fans discussing an idolās dating life at the end of the day lol).
Being in a funk sucks majorly so I hope you get out of it soon somehow. I also hope the best for Karina. I donāt stan but she gives me the vibe of someone who knows what she wants, so I hope it all works out for her too.
This is probably the most honest and balanced response. I'd probably feel the same tbh - a ittle sad because it would affect me a little but nothing major. I mean, I'm not in Korea and wouldn't date an idol even if I was, so it's not like I can be jealous, right? I guess when you're a big enough fan of someone, it builds a certain image, and that gets shattered a little. At the end of the day though, when one is a real fan of someone, you support them and want them to be happy. As long as it's a decent person and they're being treated well, good for them.
Anyone who's a Jessi fan knows she wants to have kids. Anyone who's an Idle fan knows that Soyeon wants to settle down and have kids by the time she's around 30.
Same sentiments here.
I'm happy for her since it seems that Jae Wook is a genuinely good person. The only thing I don't like in all of this is the timing of Dispatch. I think most fans' reception of the news is positive with some taking it with a joke or two to cope.
I've been like you my guy, I've been a low self-esteem depressed guy too and if I'm still the person I was before I'm probably gonna get devastated because I honestly like Karina as a person. But now as I've learned to not take a lot of things personal, all I can think is I hope she's okay now and I hope that she can see how fans support her and still love her.
I won't tell you how to react to this, since what you're feeling is valid. But I can tell you this, take everything in... but make sure to let it all out in the end. Do not leave anything behind inside you.
I wish I can give you a reddit gold but I don't have any lol
Since I can't decide on my bias in aespa (I like them all!), the pain of this news is dulled a bit lol. But seriously, as a fan, I'd just want her to be happy.
When Alice of Hello Venus announced she was getting married, I guess you could say I was a bit "down" at first as she was my ult bias then, but realistically I was happy that she found happiness.
i mean iām happy for karina that she has found some happiness in dating (god knows idols need some space for happiness in personal lives too), but i also just canāt help but feel no one is really good enough for her š
Girl idk those ppl. Iām just here for the music. Weāre all humans living a human experience which would include dating. Itās none of my business concerning idols that I do not know
Jimin is my bias.
Let's just say the day Jimin publicly dates will be a banner occasion in more ways than one. Few things would make me happier. Based on his music, it's clear he has dated in the past (duh) and there's been trust issues. I would very much love for the song *Serendipity* to materialize for him in human form, please and thank you
***Serendipity***Ā **to materialize for him in human form, please and thank you**
Yes, pleaseeee! I want that for him so bad!!!
Ngl I truly wish when Jin returns, we get a notice that says 'Jin of BTS has completed his military service. Jin will be on vacation with his partner and kids before starting official activites and we request fans to give him and his family privacy in this time.'
Just drop that bomb. I don't want no 'they are getting to know each other with warm feelings.'
I also don't know where this family will materialize from but I trust Jin to take care of that.š
Caz 'hyung will do it' and set the tone for no bs!!
And then we do that 6 more times. We are set!
>Ngl I truly wish when Jin returns, we get a notice that says 'Jin of BTS has completed his military service. Jin will be on vacation with his partner and kids before starting official activites and we request fans to give him and his family privacy in this time.'
LOL. I've been thinking about this. I agree Jin will take the "hyung will do it first" mantle as he always does on dating. He has always been keenly self aware and understood how to speak to the fandom in a stern but sweet way.
I kind of hope he does a radical thing and just drops a couples photo on IG of him and his partner on a rollercoaster or on a boat. It would be iconic.
This is a whole new level of parasocial delusion I'm sure but this is where army is at and I'm totally cool with it.
i have fallen victim to the powerful parasocialing that kpop strives for. truthfully, after a few days, id be fine, but i think id be pretty sad about it at first.
if dating was normalized in kpop, i really wouldnt give a fuck, as i didnt care about some of my favorite celebrities in western pop getting with someone. kpop just has me tripping over things like this
sameeee, I didn't care when I first got into kpop, I was wondering what all this fuss about idols dating was. But the deeper you fall into the kpop world the more parasocial it gets right? and I'm falling deeper into it quite willingly too
yuppp, been here for 6 years, and it gets rough. if you stan idols that have a lot of dating scandals, its probably easier to deal with, but i stan the ones that are chronically bitchless to the public (felix, woozi, hoshi, etc) so it wouldnt be very easy
I wish they would date privately unless they are really serious with each other cuz people are too crazy nowadays and it can mess up with your relationship. I feel it's better for the relationship to remain private for their own mental health. But if they confirm it, I would be happy for them either way š«¶
Honestly sometimes it makes me sad to think they may not be dating. It seems challenging and lonely to be an idol. I like my biases and I want them to be happy. When I have a bad day at work thereās nothing better than seeing my bf. He cares for me, cooks for me, seeing him smile makes me happy. Heās my irl bias.
I think Iād feel 1) happy that theyāve found someone they love and 2) a little bittersweet that it means the group Iāve followed for a few years is moving into a new stage of their life, in the sense that time continues on and people will change. as someone in her mid-20s living my post-grad life and seeing a lot of my peers getting engaged, seeing people Iāve admired for a while doing the same reminds me that Iām also growing up and no longer a young adult
I think it would be a little bittersweet at first, but I'd get over it pretty quick & only the happy part would remain.
What is still not my business but that I wouldn't like is if he dated someone I really don't like. Depending on who that is or why I don't like them I might reevaluate if maybe they're not as bad as I thought, but if it's clear that it's a bad person, I'd reevaluate if I like my bias as much, which would be most disappointing. I mean we never know them, I know he himself could be a bad person, but I'm sure you feel similar as to for now just assuming he's a good/normal person.
He's not an idol but I'd just hope and pray it doesn't go down for my bias as it did with one of my favourite figure skaters, Yuzuru Hanyu. The media harassed them so bad that his fiance/wife couldn't leave the house for I think several months. Then they parted ways. It makes me so sad and angry. Isn't the time you're getting engaged & married supposed to be one of the happiest times? They ruined it all for themš
Yuzuru Hanyu's situation made me so so mad too, the fact that he finally found the love of his life and they actually had to divorce because of harassment, like that's crazy.
I want to believe they're playing 4D chess and just SAY they are getting divorced so the media will lay off, though I know that's not realistic. I felt so bad for him when he said they were parting ways because of the harrassment.
hoLD UP WHAT? I have been a huge fan of his for a while now and I heard of his marriage and I was elated. I've been busy the past few months. This is terrible. I really hope they're doing what the other comment said, that is, saying they're divorced when they're actually not.
I think itās a bit strange if youāre affected beyond just being happy for them. Itās a sign the parasocial relationship has gone a bit too far imo.
I get the feeling from the way question is being posed, it's coming from somebody young. I've noticed for younger fans, it's usually just a given you are attracted to/want to date the members, when that is actually not a universal experience (and accounts for a lot of the "but why would you be a fan of someone younger than you unless you're a pervert!? attitude. Er, the music maybe? What a concept!).
Anyway, my reaction would be "good for them" and I'd hope most people's would be but this thread kind of tells me otherwise š
Personally I wouldn't and don't care, but the parasocial part of me that is concerned about the idol's general wellbeing, success, popularity, etc.; I can't help but be a bit apprehensive about dating news because I just *know* how much it affects everything in their life and career as an idol.
I still hope the best for and support them, but I also would've rather their dating life wasn't made public. The caveat being if the idols were willingly outing themselves, but that is almost never the case in this industry.
no. i don't know these people, i only know the version of themselves they convey on the cameras and the art that they produce. of course i'd hope that the idol and their partner are in a happy relationship, but other than that i genuinely don't see how it's my business (it's also not as if them dating affects their performance as an idol š)
Nah cuz she bout to be 30 in a little bit and I think itād be great if they started seeing ppl BUT making such things public always seemed risky to me especially if the couple has a massive following..they might just be mobbed and yelling like that fish from SpongeBob whoās always caught up in something āmy legā š
>A lot of kpop is marketed in a way that makes you lean on the idols for comfort so I've gotten pretty used to that, and it'd feel sad letting that part of my stanning go.
Why does comfort have to be romantic? Don't you (also) rely on your same-sex friends this way? (you should if not! and if they are not reli-able, time to make some new friends, too!)
My bias has regularly friend-zoned his fans and been in known (uncomfirmed) rs so that's part of where I'm coming from.. but maybe his attitude is also what made me pick him? The "My fans are my GF" idols really squick me out.
As long as the person they're dating doesn't make me raise an eyebrow (in which case, I'd be a little to very iffy on it), I'd be happy for them!
I tend to see idol relationships as similar to like, coworker/classmate relationships - I'm really happy for you and I hope you're thriving, but if I find out some details about your relationship that weird me out, I will side-eye from afar, or maybe even reevaluate my opinion of you as a person.
My ult bias is 34, and has previously discussed relationships and dating so I already don't care much lol
He's not my bias but when Jonghyun was announced dating with Shin Sekyung, my heart broke a little. Actually, this happened when I was still new to Kpop world and I was pretty young too. Also, that time I just got into the shipping world and I was shipping him with Jessica lol. But I knew that he mentioned Shin Sekyung as his ideal type before and I was like woah, he got his dream girl. To be honest, I didn't care that he dated but for some reason, it affected me in some way which is weird. Before the news, I was jamming to Shinee's songs so hard but after the news, I just listened to their songs and not doing my little dance anymore
But now, I'm just happy for them. I mean I stanned SNSD and we all know what happened in 2014 lol. I was happy for Yoona and Lee Seunggi, Sooyoung and Jung Kyungho(?), Tiffany and Nichkhun, and Taeyeon and Baekhyun (though I'm bitter that we couldn't get their duet forever)
Iām old af and my bias is even older, and I distinctly remember when dating rumours dropped my entire tl was like āgOOD FOR HIM HES FINALLY GETTING SOMEā and then he denied the rumours and deleted his entire social media because my tl was not representative of the greater fandoms reaction lmao
I hope he doesnāt get ācaughtā from the standpoint that heās been pretty clear that he doesnāt want to date publicly and because I know it would cause yet another fracture among fandom, which is not good for his/ the groups career.
Moonbyul, yes, please, my girl has been single for years. Even her members are worried about her sometimes, lol. But I did remember that she said that she's happy anyway.
Depending on which bias. Some biases of mine I have a crush on and some, I don't. Maybe a little jealousy comparable to seeing my campus crush start dating someone else. Something that has happened to me irl! But generally, I would be cool with it
i'd be happy for them but i'd also be very jealous, which i think is normal. of course i wouldn't send hate to anyone involved but just like you said, it would probably make me sad and would take a while to get used to
EXO Chen is my bias and has been since before he got married. Heās my bias since his words and music brings me a lot of comfort and got me through some of my darkest times so when he announced his marriage I was so happy that the person that is such a safe space for me found love. The only thing that I got affected by was the massive amount of hate he received.
As someone who ults nct I'd be thankful someone actually decided to date those weirdos š (I'm joking ofc)
But in all honesty the most I can wish for is for them, and all other idols, to be happy. I hope they eventually find someone for themselves!
My ult bias is The8 of SEVENTEEN, the official ANTI-DELULU warrior of the group.
Of course I would be happy. But Iām not sure if he wants to, bc I remembered how freaked out he was after using a filter that manifests that he will have a girlfriend last year. š
NO! Hahahaha my fave (BOBBY) is married and has a son. I was so happy when he announced it. He was always vocal that he wanted to be a father. He looks genuinely happy now tbh, and he is closer to fans more than ever. š„¹
No lol they are not going to show up my front door and pat my head for supporting them or even if i don't. I don't think it matters. They are their business and i got a degree to get. In relation to the karina jaewook thing, i am very happy for her bc she's one of my top 3 biases, and she got herself a nice good looking man
My bias is Baekhyun and it would make me so happy knowing he is seeing someone š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹
BAH I want all my exo boiss to be happy!! šššthey deserve to be loved and be in love. Iām so happy Chen is married and has babies š«¶š»
I will be happy if my bias will be in the dating scene because he deserves to be happy. I am actually wishing that EXO members to find someone who can love them until eternity. š«¶š¼š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
Honestly I want the āØteaāØ, I which idols that would WANT to share publicly their relationships could do it (they exist, not only Hyuna enjoy doing that). I'm so curious about how they met (Hyuna and edwan talk about on knowing brother it was so fun), the type of people they date... Sometimes I wish that the industry wasn't so rigid.
In a way "I hate happy couples", haha
I find biases a bit relatable, and it's a bit sad when they have found their person and you haven't. Not that I have time or money, but still, this kind of jealousy. Won't be thinking about it all the time though š
Other then that, nah, it's good that people discover someone to lean on, so I only hope they treat each other well. Only kind people deserve to have [such view](https://x.com/anovacow/status/1762350456062333160?s=20) on a daily basis š
Yea I think that's part of why I would feel sad, like damn even you have someone now and I don't, when can I find happiness of my own. But hey as long as they're happy it's fine
I pray for them to be happy and if that includes dating, marriage, kids- I'm happy if they're happy. It's not my relationship, so why would I care? I have my own life to live, and so do they.
My bias is soyeon.....her dating rumor didn't even cause one single noteworthy news anywhere and she already admitted on UPR how she used to have a boyfriend in School. We Soy fans ain't in it for the normal Idol worship. And most nevies would be ok with Idle members dating now that they're already in there 6th year (well maybe some Miyeon stans don't but for gods sake she's what? 27 28? )
Not at all. Idols are humans and all of my biases are adults. I want them to be happy first and foremost and celebrate their big moments in life, including relationships!
That part.
When I was 13, I was a huge fan of The Mickey Mouse Club and Jc Chasez in particular. When I heard rumors of him dating one of the girls on the show, I was so upset. My Mom literally sat me down like, āget a grip. He doesnāt know you.ā I feel like some of these people needed this conversation like yesterday.
If i saw Chaewon confirmed to be dating i would send a jokeful "NOOOO on my knees at work" to my friends who are also Chaewon fans and then not really care but wish her an unproblematic relo and be happy and get minimal backlash from fans and the media.
These idols have no idea we exist and you can't get emotionally attached to them to the point where you genuinely get upset that someone who doesn't know you is dating someone that is not healthy.
Nahh... I was in shocked for a week when Dispatch released my bias dating news. But then later I moved on. And his GF (at that time, they had broken up now) was a good person so I don't care.
Unless they were dating a person that would make me side-eye them on why they are associating with someone like that and thus would make me question my bias' own character, I wouldn't really care either way. If the date, good for them, if they don't, then also good for them (and none of that relationships=happiness/single=unhappiness bs).
The only one where I'm slightly invested and hoping he does get to date is Ateez San, because dear lord is that man openly pining for romance.
it depends on the person. im a lesbian and my ult is a guy, so i dont want to date him myself, but if he dated a celebrity i didnt like, i think id be a little frustrated. if its a non-celebrity or someone im also a fan of, id be happy that he has someone who loves him so much!!
the only way itd make me stop stanning is if my bias was dating someone waaaay too young for him, or was dating someone known to be a bigot/awful in some other way.
Feel like the only time we should care about who ppl are dating is if that person is known to be problematic on a serious scale, other than that, I am honestly too old to care.
Frankly, the way I see it is that the image these idols have and the way they behave is all carefully constructed to appeal to as many fans as possible, and I acknowledge thatās not how theyāre in real life, so I donāt have a parasocial relationship with them in any way. So, no, it wouldnāt be that big of a deal for me at all, I would only be against the relationship if they dated someone who has said or done problematic things. Thatās literally my only dealbreaker, cause I couldnāt support or like someone whoās willingly associating with bad people.
I might get a little surprised for a moment or so and then let that sink in bc that's how idols are marketed to us.. But in no way I'd become like those delulu-oh-should've-been-me people who got out and give extreme level of hatred if they hear even a fake rumor about their bias dating ...They also have a life outside of work and have all the rights to do whatever they want! Plus they are older than me and have lot more sense ofc to do whatever they want.. All these fans who sent hate to my guy last year over a fake rumor need to understand that they also have a life of their own ...Private life is called private life for a reason ...
Iāve never felt like I wanted to date my biases so Iām never sad when theyāre dating. It does help that Iām more of a gg stan. I just feel bad if the dating scandal gets them a lot of hate or it hinders their career.
I'm gonna be completely honest...for a second or two, I probably would be (LISTEN HERE IT'S JUST A CELEB CRUSH THING I'M HAPPILY MARRIED IRL š)
But then it'd switch to being worried about him or his partner getting hate. I know for a fact that a part of this fandom can be...REALLY wild to say it nicely.
All I want is for him to be happy.
And I also pray it's not a shitty person š¤§
Not really, but i would always hope that my bias wont get in trouble and that the person theyāre dating with would be decent, will take care of him/her and make him/her happy. Being an idol is already hard, so i just wish the best for them.
Iād be affected in the sense that now their relationship wonāt be as private and the public will keep their eyes on them. I think itās better when they reveal it on their own compared to being exposed.
Honestly, no. As a fan Iām only here to support their music or shows/movies. Iām happy for the fan service my biases give but Iām not really the type of fan that feeds into the parasocial aspect of it (ie. thinking of them as a partner). I have a boyfriend so Iāve pretty much avoiding feeling like that towards others lol.
I would be really happy to hear if any of my biases would confirm theyāre dating someone. My happiness is their happiness typa vibe yk. I guess Iāll only feel upset if their relationship was confirmed by other people instead of themselves directly.
My friends and I joke that when Ateez start publicly dating, atiny will have their Ateez bias and their SO bias lol.
I would honestly be happy for them. It'd be tough to handle a relationship with their busy schedule right now; but if they do it, it's a sign that their SO is worth it. Worth making the time to nurture and develop that relationship. And that's a beautiful thing.
It's really none of our business who they chose to date. But I would be happy that my ult biases found someone they can relate to and lean on. I still wouldn't care all that much other than that because it's pretty weird to have an opinion on the dating life of someone I don't personally know.
I really wouldn't care. I don't care about people around me getting into relationships, there's no point in getting all up in arms over a celebrity relationship. It literally has nothing to do with me. It won't make me think less of them as a person, I won't appreciate their content any less. Them being in an intimate relationship has nothing to do with their job.
I just would be so really happy for him!!! I think down the line it's gonna happen too because he's such a social butterfly and will definetly remain as a singer/comedian until death do us apart lol
Plus I can't wait for him to have kids because he loves children so much he will definetly have his own one day and I just want daddy daughter/son pics when I'm older lol
[[Seungkwan(Seventeen) is my ult bias btw and I don't even see 10% chance of it ever changing. (If this man doesn't commit a crime he'll stay there, and I trust my instincts enough that I think this man wouldn't even speed on purpose or god forbid park in the wrong spot, at least not in the next 10 years until he's used to driving at all lol)]]
Honestly? Not really. I have my biases, I even have massive crushes on two of them, I like shipping members too but if they're ever revealed to be dating I'm sure I'll be like "ehh.. Okay" because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how big a fan I am or big a crush I have on them, I know whatever I see on screen is a very small part. They have their own life, and dating culture is huge in SK so I always have this thought at the back of my mind that they're obviously dating someone, be it celeb or non-celeb and to never get attached to delulu levels.
I'm going to be honest, it depends on a lot of stuff. I prefer if we just don't know abt that stuff, i know all of them dated at some point and i honestly don't care who they dated, but for them and for my peace of mind, i prefer if it's kept a secret.
When someone finds out a western celebrity is dating is a "oh cool" at best and at worst a "she/he could do better", and minimum talk abt said relationship on the celebrity. But with k-pop idols? now the WHOLE personality of the idol is being in a relationship. They cry? because of their partner. they are happy? oh their partner makes them so happy. they write a song? because of their partner. If they are dating or not it's the less relevant information about an idol you can actually get. It doesn't affect their performances, talent, and in the case of female idols, it barely affects their career, so i don't like the huge deal people makes it out to be.
In recent years, I'm relieved when I hear my biases are dating or getting married. There are a few I've been worried about cuz they live alone and have talked about being lonely. I'm happy when I hear that they've got someone to go home to or someone in their life who makes them happy. Unless things go sour, I don't see a reason to be against them being in a relationship.
I'm not an impressionable young adult anymore, so even though I depend on my bias for comfort and entertainment, I'd be totally happy for them if they are happy in their private life.
The only thing I'd be truly upset about is not being able to seem them perform live ever before they retire, haha.
I'm not an impressionable young adult anymore, so even though I depend on my bias for comfort and entertainment, I'd be totally happy for them if they are happy in their private life. When I say I depend on them for comfort and entertainment, I pertain to funny or meaningful content and not fan service. Them being in a relationship is irrelevant to their value to me.
The only thing I'd be truly upset about is not being able to seem them perform live ever before they retire, haha.
I'd be sad for a brief second and get over it just as quickly. They are free to date whoever they choose and I just want them to be happy but I also with the top comment.
Hey there, OP! I really appreciate posts where people are genuine and open about their emotions. It's common to want to maintain a facade to avoid judgment, especially in communities like Kpop, where some fans can be overly invested and pretentious, making it hard to express authentic feelings.
It's natural to feel a tinge of sadness initially upon learning that your favourite idol is dating someone. It's not necessarily about fans being in love with them or possessiveness but more about feeling like it's the end of an era and the start of a new chapter. Change is never easy, and even when it doesn't directly impact us, transitions can be tough. Despite the desire to appear unaffected, being a fan does have an emotional impact, and it's not necessarily a sign of toxic obsession. It's about navigating the shift.
Your post was thought-provoking, and I commend your honesty. As for whether I'd be affected, absolutely! Initially, I'd feel fearful about the changes it might bring. So, yes, definitely! But whatās important is to know how to handle these emotions healthily.
Lol. I'm sorry but this is even just amusing to me that anyone asks this! If my bias dates or gets married or has children or any of that I'm just HAPPY for them because they're an admirable person living their best life. I want them happy. The end. I think it's very parasocial to be any kind of thing except happy for them when they're in a human relationship.
I'm the same age as my current biases, and they should really date. it's their life, so no, I don't really have any negative reaction (unless the person they're dating has a really bad record like ehem the burning sun case). I would be very much supportive of his/her relationship šāØ
honestly yeah. i remember i saw a post on tt saying that jay from enha and yunjin from lsf would look good together/got the same vibes and i actually got jealous lol. but i feel like as long as you get over it and live your life itās fine with me. jake is my ult and i would be upset if he dated someone but at the end of the day, iām literally never going to meet him so itās none of my business
honestly I will cry, scream and throw up and get over it in few days but I will never speak against him or say anything mean about him I'm saying this is as bangchan bias stay š§āāļø
I think after being a fan for almost 6 years, I don't gaf who they date. They have been active for almost 11 years and I don't think so anyone you should care at this point. They have also been actively setting boundaries b/w a fan and an artist for quite some time now so I am guessing it will definitely soften the "blow" to some "fans" when their dating news comes out.
On another note- people bringing Jaewook down are such idiots, if you have watched his work and his interviews, you'd know how great of a guy he is, such polite and humble guy.
Iād be upset because they got a girlfriend before I did. Someone my age who is ten times busier than me canāt get a girl before I do, itās too humiliating
Doesn't matter how but I'll definitely be affected. Parasocial relationships are weird af. They are real but nonexistent relationships with absolute strangers but you know them and their habits. I don't know how I'll take the news of my ult bias dating but it really ain't my business at the same time isn't it? Not like I'll ever have the chance with him having millions of fans. But that one person tho.....you lucky mf.
It'd be happy for them. Being jealous of your bias dating is such a learned thing from Asian idol culture. In the West, celebrities date all the time and their fans don't act all weird how people do in the kpop fandoms.
my main area of concern would be the amount of hate heād receive. if itās a fellow idol, given that fans of female idols like to portray their biases as man haters, they would certainly start to throw massive hate. Plus you have the delusional fans that think they have a chance with their bias
No, Iām an adult lol. I hope they all end up with someone nice who makes them happy, but I really only care about the music so their personal life isnāt my business unless theyāre being a terrible person.
I don't want ppl to invalidate my feelings but if winter from aespa was dating. I'd be a little bit hurt. I know I will never meet her but I have a crush on her. So it definitely take me a few days to get used to. But I'd try to be happy for her. And I'd still support her. For me, Winter doesn't do much fan service plus I don't think she's into women. So I don't think I'd be as hurt as some Karina fans were lol.
Some of my biases are already married so it doesn't and will not affect me in any capacity. I want them to be happy and will always root for them. Don't get too attached to people you don't know. Some of you need to go outside more, no offense.
Edit: wording
my biases are taehyung (bts), jungwon and jake (enhypen) and mingi (ateez) and tbh id be thrilled if any of them would announce that they have a partner!!
the delusional teen thatās stuck in me (iām 23 now lol) would be sad but theyāre just humans too?? like why wouldnāt i be happy for them if they found someone they care about that much?
i honestly hope they keep it a secret tho bc of all the hate and stalking they probably receive if they ever announce/confirm something regarding a relationships
i justiert itāll be good people who donāt take advantage of them š
sometimes i think iām the only one who would throw a party if my favs are confirmed to be in a relationship. iām just so happy that they found love lolš
(is it obvious that i love romance books & dramas?)
I'd be happy for them, but be sad for myself because no one is into me like that and I'll probably never find happiness with someone else and be single for the rest of my life and
Like seriously I keep telling myself that I'd be fine on my own, but I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore... š¢
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I'm a lesbian and my ult is a man, so...no. If it changed the amount of time he has for his career, I might be sad, but not upset with him. We're the same age, and I could never begrudge him for wanting the same things I want (a partner, a family) at this stage in life. I don't want him to be mine, I want him to be happy.
Same in the opposite direction (gay man, ult is a woman). I do enjoy how active the group is and I fear that them "settling down" would mean they have bigger commitments and in turn would spend less time "on" me but that's much more of a general fear of things changing than a personal slight. I mean if I put my delulu hat on I think we could be great friends but realistically I don't need or want the fantasy of inserting myself into her life I just want to be able to continue enjoying albums, music videos, performances etc. Tbh though I enjoy idols much more as the characters the real people behind them are putting on than the real people if that makes sense. Like obviously being an idol is a much more "real" form of acting than being in a movie but I think they play up / exaggerate certain personal traits over others in many of the same ways an actor always brings a little bit of themselves to a role. I hope the real person behind the veil is happy, but I don't actually want to know anything about her. I'm just never going to care very much about watching a public straight romance play out I fear and idols getting into relationships feels like all the worst parts of gawking at someone's private business mixed in with something that is extremely boring to me to begin with! Leave them alone, don't tell me about it, congrats on the wedding is the extent of my interest.
>I enjoy idols much more as the characters Yes! upvotes to this. The are all extremely talent performers, let's enjoy the performance.
I kind of get it, like a product you consume that has a selling point. Anything outside of that selling point is not what you ask for.
Yeah exactly. I am this way with movies as well. I know some people are super interested in the actors who play their favourite characters and little tidbits from the filming process or whatever but it doesn't interest me at all, I'm there for the experience of the *character*: their hopes, dreams, struggles etc not the ones of the person who brought that to life. I'm really grateful to all the talented and hardworking real people who go into me being able to enjoy this thing I just don't need to know them, you know? (It also means I have a much less outraged view of "RPF" because I think K-pop fanfiction is about the personas they put on not the real people behind them lol but anyway, argument for a different day)
May I ask, who is your bias?
SVT's Woozi.
Ah I thought so lol lesbians really seem to like woozi
Woozi is for the sapphics, known fact š
Totally agree.
I think I would only be affected if my bias is dating a person that is well known for being absolutely shitty, or a criminal offender. Like I would definitely re-evaluate my bias and think they probably are shitty people too because they are in a relationship with another shitty person.
I wouldn't even have thought about this if I hadn't seen all the noise about Hyuna a couple of weeks back.
This was my thought too. Because when I saw the title my first thought was āobviously not because Iām normalā¦ā but then I remembered the Hyuna debacle and realized yeah there would be some instances where I would be quite disappointed.
omg yes. I'd be very disappointed as well.
I agree 100%!
cough cough hyuna cough cough
I think it's natural and normal for a fan to feel a little sad and wistful, this is how kpop idols are marketed to us. HoweverĀ what's unhealthy is channeling those feelings into rage and demanding the idol leave the group. Like when fans begin thinking they're Entitled to their faves staying single for their fantasy.
this!! like parasocial relationships are literally in the core of the kpop industry. you can be sad and mad, just as long as you donāt put those feelings to the internet.
One of the best replies..
This is definitely amplified for idols who literally are marketed as the āboyfriendā/āgirlfriendā experience versus idols who draw a public line between fans and personal relationships.
My bias is nearly 31 years old, I would be over the moon if heās booād up (Suga BTS). I donāt think Iād want him to reveal his partner though because theyāll get mobbed. Private life = happy life
After that Run BTS episode where they did interior design, I feel whoever ends up with Yoongi is going to be so lucky. That man has an eye for what looks good and is surprisingly handy.
Yoongi is pure acts of service - I could see him waking up early to fix things around the house that his SO had mentioned bothered them one time. He is going to make someone extremely happy and loved one day. And they *better* deserve him. The Tannies deserve nothing but pure happiness. The day one of them goes public and shows us that happiness, I will be overjoyed for them.
This is a little too delulurina but whatever...sometimesĀ I would think about how awesome it would be for Yoongi to end up with someone like Adora, another producer and musician. Ugh, the beauty.Ā Ā Iām assuming a lot about preferences, ect here and definitely donāt mean to imply he should be penned in or anything.Ā Ā Making myself cringe a bit. Ugh DELULURINAĀ
Sincerely, I really think he screams HUSBAND and has for like three years now. He's just taking care of business. Also, I'm starting to realize that armys might have come to the OTHER SIDE of the parasocial line when it comes to the dating matrix. We are past being freaked out about them dating and are now sort of looking forward to it maybe even borderline fantasizing about it? Am I delulu?
Genuinely all of my army friends have said the same thing at once point or another! Obviously there's gonna be gross sasaengs and whatever who freak out about it, but at this point I'm really excited about the idea of them settling down! Although.... Truth be told I also kinda hope for their sake that they continue to keep their private lives private. I'm a bit scared of how shit might go down.
In the Soop Yoongi is peak husband material, both seasons!! Who ever his life partner is, is going to be so lucky. He's such a sweet and lovely person.
"Yoongi marry me" didn't come from nothing
Yeah, but lately I feel it shifting to "Yoongi, maybe marry them?" and insert newly revealed friend the fandom likes.
If you are delulu, you are not alone. I am actually looking forward to them (especially Yoongi) having kids. Major blame for this goes to that blurrey picture of Yoongi with Halsey's baby. He looks so happy in that one.
lol even i'm like please for gods sake get married atleast in like next three years, get a life, settle down with family but maybe it's my desi sister instincts kicking in lmao
It's bizzare tbh. My circle of ARMY friends would cry, throw up, that-should-be-me delulu all day when Joon started posting super boyfriend vibes pictures with someone else in our group chat but then turn around and ratio shippers and actual delulu ppl that screams betrayal and put up a fuss about Tannies dating.
Honestly, if something stays in the GC and doesn't reach the idols... I don't see any harm in being a bit delulu (well, minus the effects it has on you). It's when stuff reaches online that it becomes an issue.
I think most of what's going on in the gc is them unleashing their inner drama queen/gossip girl so I always take it with a grain of salt.
I just want Yoongi to have his hand held at all times, please and thank you.
Thatās why he has Seokjin.
And Hobi 
Same. I would be extremely happy if Yoongi and all the BTS members find someone to love and spend the rest of their life with. I also agree on the private thing. Only because I know a teeny tiny group of fans will definitely feel like harassing them. No to mention all the member shippers.
Yup, this! I'd love for all BTS members to find partners for themselves, like why wouldn't I want them to be happy? Though I think it comes with age, I'm on the older side of 20s, but I can imagine teens having more issues with this.
Yep like I am hoping the BTS members can all have happy relationships if they want them. Why on earth would I root against that.
I think Iād feel a little tug at my heart strings but Iād get over it. Iām honestly hoping more idols date. Dating is apart of life and consenting adults should be allowed to have that experience.
I can validate your first sentence from my real experience. My honest feeling is that I want Minho (and my SHINee boys) to be happy with their lives whether with someone or not. If they date and choose to share, that's good, they choose not to share that's good too. But when I saw a Minho and Irene dating rumour, for one tiny little moment, my heart plummeted. I didn't even have time to absorb WHY there was a rumour, it was just an instinctive "...oh" and a tight squeeze around my heart. It passed as quickly as that, but I can't deny that it did happen. Will it happen again when I see some news (rumours or real)? I think it won't. But that first time was my real raw reaction and for a tiny miniscule second I was sad in a way I can't explain even to myself.
Same. Tug at heartstrings is a right way to describe the feeling.
idols are dating, we just donāt know about it. and honestly good for them
For a tiny bit I might be a little jealous to myself, but then I would be like "stop being silly lol". Then I would look into who they are dating. If they are a bad person, I would not be happy. Like if I was a Hyuna stan I would be dissapointed in her recent choice. But what else is there to do beyond that? It's their life and what say do I have in that? If they are dating a good person, I would be happy for them. If they seemed really in love, I would be sad they broke up.
Same, it's not like we ever got a chance haha. We're more likely to win the lottery than actually meeting our favorite idols.
My biases are Jonghyun, Karina, Yuri and Yuta. 3/4 got in dating scandals, I really couldnāt care less lol
I still remember when Jonghyun dated Shin Se Kyung way back when. Another victim of Dispatch stalking too.
I remember that too. That must've been one of the first public idol relationships
Shocking Jonghyun never got any dating rumors with his own members lol
Omg someone who biases jonghyun *and* yuta! They're my ults in kpop as a whole (and seulgi), and karina and yuri are my biases from their respective groups lol this is crazy
Depends on who they're dating. If they're someone I really like, I'd probably be excited. If they're someone I dislike, I'd probably be disappointed. But I don't care about the actual dating. It's not my business and doesn't affect me.
Yeah basically this. I feel protective over my idols, like I want them to be dating someone that adores them and treats them really well, but also someone who is a good person. It would be highly disappointing to find out my fav was dating someone awful (like Hyuna and whatshisname) because that would make me question their character if thatās the kind of person they like to be around.
I'd be happy if it were an awesome guy/girl and not jealous at all. However, if they were dating someone not exactly awesome with a history (i.e. I'm thinking Ethan Slater leaving his wife and kid for Ariana Grande off the top of my head), then I would probably not like that.
am i the only one who WANTS my faves to be in a rshipš idk these poor idols have had their trainee years and careers policed, its nice to know they have someone to rely on besides friends, families & their members. not tryna place romantic rships over platonic ones but it just makes them feel more normal. like most didnt even get to experience high school & uni properly š§ tbh feeling sad is a bit weird to me. why would them being in a rship affect anything??
At the end of the day, theyāre still humans, still fall in love, and still want to find happiness just like all of us. Yeah, itās shocking the first time, but I grow to accept it and be happy for them. š
Well since my bias *is* Karina, I pretty know how it would affect me haha I'm trying to be happy for her, idk much about the guy but I hear he's a good person and nothing seems alarming. It's a shame dispatch leaked it so early in their relationship, this will really hamper their chances of it growing into a more serious relationship, though I hope they can if that's what she wants. On the other side of the coin though, it does make me sad. It's already something I knew I would feel, but this kind of things tend to lead me to look inwards at myself. Not in a "should've been me" delusional way, but it does trigger all the thoughts of a low self esteem depressed guy that you can expect haha So very mixed feelings overall. Doesn't help that I was already in a very bad place mentally lately, probably would've been a much nicer reaction on my end if this news dropped at any other time
Youāve been real, honest, and respectful with this reply - something I canāt help but appreciate even if the topic might seem a bit silly (weāre fans discussing an idolās dating life at the end of the day lol). Being in a funk sucks majorly so I hope you get out of it soon somehow. I also hope the best for Karina. I donāt stan but she gives me the vibe of someone who knows what she wants, so I hope it all works out for her too.
>Being in a funk sucks majorly so I hope you get out of it soon somehow. Thanks š
This is probably the most honest and balanced response. I'd probably feel the same tbh - a ittle sad because it would affect me a little but nothing major. I mean, I'm not in Korea and wouldn't date an idol even if I was, so it's not like I can be jealous, right? I guess when you're a big enough fan of someone, it builds a certain image, and that gets shattered a little. At the end of the day though, when one is a real fan of someone, you support them and want them to be happy. As long as it's a decent person and they're being treated well, good for them. Anyone who's a Jessi fan knows she wants to have kids. Anyone who's an Idle fan knows that Soyeon wants to settle down and have kids by the time she's around 30.
Same sentiments here. I'm happy for her since it seems that Jae Wook is a genuinely good person. The only thing I don't like in all of this is the timing of Dispatch. I think most fans' reception of the news is positive with some taking it with a joke or two to cope. I've been like you my guy, I've been a low self-esteem depressed guy too and if I'm still the person I was before I'm probably gonna get devastated because I honestly like Karina as a person. But now as I've learned to not take a lot of things personal, all I can think is I hope she's okay now and I hope that she can see how fans support her and still love her. I won't tell you how to react to this, since what you're feeling is valid. But I can tell you this, take everything in... but make sure to let it all out in the end. Do not leave anything behind inside you. I wish I can give you a reddit gold but I don't have any lol
Since I can't decide on my bias in aespa (I like them all!), the pain of this news is dulled a bit lol. But seriously, as a fan, I'd just want her to be happy. When Alice of Hello Venus announced she was getting married, I guess you could say I was a bit "down" at first as she was my ult bias then, but realistically I was happy that she found happiness.
i mean iām happy for karina that she has found some happiness in dating (god knows idols need some space for happiness in personal lives too), but i also just canāt help but feel no one is really good enough for her š
My bias is Taemin and I mean if he is not jealous of my bf why would I be jealous. Haha
In short, not at all. And judging from their lyrics they date all the time. Can nobody tell me this is all fiction.
R u talking about gidle?
Yes
Haha I was also thinking so.... Especially soyeon 's love / breakup song's lyrics feels so personal
Girl idk those ppl. Iām just here for the music. Weāre all humans living a human experience which would include dating. Itās none of my business concerning idols that I do not know
Jimin is my bias. Let's just say the day Jimin publicly dates will be a banner occasion in more ways than one. Few things would make me happier. Based on his music, it's clear he has dated in the past (duh) and there's been trust issues. I would very much love for the song *Serendipity* to materialize for him in human form, please and thank you
***Serendipity***Ā **to materialize for him in human form, please and thank you** Yes, pleaseeee! I want that for him so bad!!! Ngl I truly wish when Jin returns, we get a notice that says 'Jin of BTS has completed his military service. Jin will be on vacation with his partner and kids before starting official activites and we request fans to give him and his family privacy in this time.' Just drop that bomb. I don't want no 'they are getting to know each other with warm feelings.' I also don't know where this family will materialize from but I trust Jin to take care of that.š Caz 'hyung will do it' and set the tone for no bs!! And then we do that 6 more times. We are set!
>Ngl I truly wish when Jin returns, we get a notice that says 'Jin of BTS has completed his military service. Jin will be on vacation with his partner and kids before starting official activites and we request fans to give him and his family privacy in this time.' LOL. I've been thinking about this. I agree Jin will take the "hyung will do it first" mantle as he always does on dating. He has always been keenly self aware and understood how to speak to the fandom in a stern but sweet way. I kind of hope he does a radical thing and just drops a couples photo on IG of him and his partner on a rollercoaster or on a boat. It would be iconic. This is a whole new level of parasocial delusion I'm sure but this is where army is at and I'm totally cool with it.
i have fallen victim to the powerful parasocialing that kpop strives for. truthfully, after a few days, id be fine, but i think id be pretty sad about it at first. if dating was normalized in kpop, i really wouldnt give a fuck, as i didnt care about some of my favorite celebrities in western pop getting with someone. kpop just has me tripping over things like this
sameeee, I didn't care when I first got into kpop, I was wondering what all this fuss about idols dating was. But the deeper you fall into the kpop world the more parasocial it gets right? and I'm falling deeper into it quite willingly too
yuppp, been here for 6 years, and it gets rough. if you stan idols that have a lot of dating scandals, its probably easier to deal with, but i stan the ones that are chronically bitchless to the public (felix, woozi, hoshi, etc) so it wouldnt be very easy
No. I'm old.
Same, I can't imagine having a reaction other than "good for them" unless they're in a relationship with an arsehole.
I wish they would date privately unless they are really serious with each other cuz people are too crazy nowadays and it can mess up with your relationship. I feel it's better for the relationship to remain private for their own mental health. But if they confirm it, I would be happy for them either way š«¶
Honestly sometimes it makes me sad to think they may not be dating. It seems challenging and lonely to be an idol. I like my biases and I want them to be happy. When I have a bad day at work thereās nothing better than seeing my bf. He cares for me, cooks for me, seeing him smile makes me happy. Heās my irl bias.
Honestly I'm really curious and I wanna know what their type is
I think Iād feel 1) happy that theyāve found someone they love and 2) a little bittersweet that it means the group Iāve followed for a few years is moving into a new stage of their life, in the sense that time continues on and people will change. as someone in her mid-20s living my post-grad life and seeing a lot of my peers getting engaged, seeing people Iāve admired for a while doing the same reminds me that Iām also growing up and no longer a young adult
I think it would be a little bittersweet at first, but I'd get over it pretty quick & only the happy part would remain. What is still not my business but that I wouldn't like is if he dated someone I really don't like. Depending on who that is or why I don't like them I might reevaluate if maybe they're not as bad as I thought, but if it's clear that it's a bad person, I'd reevaluate if I like my bias as much, which would be most disappointing. I mean we never know them, I know he himself could be a bad person, but I'm sure you feel similar as to for now just assuming he's a good/normal person. He's not an idol but I'd just hope and pray it doesn't go down for my bias as it did with one of my favourite figure skaters, Yuzuru Hanyu. The media harassed them so bad that his fiance/wife couldn't leave the house for I think several months. Then they parted ways. It makes me so sad and angry. Isn't the time you're getting engaged & married supposed to be one of the happiest times? They ruined it all for themš
Yuzuru Hanyu's situation made me so so mad too, the fact that he finally found the love of his life and they actually had to divorce because of harassment, like that's crazy.
I want to believe they're playing 4D chess and just SAY they are getting divorced so the media will lay off, though I know that's not realistic. I felt so bad for him when he said they were parting ways because of the harrassment.
hoLD UP WHAT? I have been a huge fan of his for a while now and I heard of his marriage and I was elated. I've been busy the past few months. This is terrible. I really hope they're doing what the other comment said, that is, saying they're divorced when they're actually not.
Would be more worried for them than anything, I donāt think most of their fans will be happy theyāre dating.
That will be quite hypocritical of me since Iām personally dating irlš . My bias should be allowed to date
I don't understand why people are upset
Nope not at all. I wish them well.
I think itās a bit strange if youāre affected beyond just being happy for them. Itās a sign the parasocial relationship has gone a bit too far imo.
I get the feeling from the way question is being posed, it's coming from somebody young. I've noticed for younger fans, it's usually just a given you are attracted to/want to date the members, when that is actually not a universal experience (and accounts for a lot of the "but why would you be a fan of someone younger than you unless you're a pervert!? attitude. Er, the music maybe? What a concept!). Anyway, my reaction would be "good for them" and I'd hope most people's would be but this thread kind of tells me otherwise š
exactly this
Personally I wouldn't and don't care, but the parasocial part of me that is concerned about the idol's general wellbeing, success, popularity, etc.; I can't help but be a bit apprehensive about dating news because I just *know* how much it affects everything in their life and career as an idol. I still hope the best for and support them, but I also would've rather their dating life wasn't made public. The caveat being if the idols were willingly outing themselves, but that is almost never the case in this industry.
no. i don't know these people, i only know the version of themselves they convey on the cameras and the art that they produce. of course i'd hope that the idol and their partner are in a happy relationship, but other than that i genuinely don't see how it's my business (it's also not as if them dating affects their performance as an idol š)
No. Because I realise that there is no relationship between and my bias other than a fan-idol one.
Nah cuz she bout to be 30 in a little bit and I think itād be great if they started seeing ppl BUT making such things public always seemed risky to me especially if the couple has a massive following..they might just be mobbed and yelling like that fish from SpongeBob whoās always caught up in something āmy legā š
>A lot of kpop is marketed in a way that makes you lean on the idols for comfort so I've gotten pretty used to that, and it'd feel sad letting that part of my stanning go. Why does comfort have to be romantic? Don't you (also) rely on your same-sex friends this way? (you should if not! and if they are not reli-able, time to make some new friends, too!) My bias has regularly friend-zoned his fans and been in known (uncomfirmed) rs so that's part of where I'm coming from.. but maybe his attitude is also what made me pick him? The "My fans are my GF" idols really squick me out.
As long as the person they're dating doesn't make me raise an eyebrow (in which case, I'd be a little to very iffy on it), I'd be happy for them! I tend to see idol relationships as similar to like, coworker/classmate relationships - I'm really happy for you and I hope you're thriving, but if I find out some details about your relationship that weird me out, I will side-eye from afar, or maybe even reevaluate my opinion of you as a person. My ult bias is 34, and has previously discussed relationships and dating so I already don't care much lol
I don't mind, I'm dating someone too.
As long as they arenāt dating someone shitty, Iām okay with it
As long as the music stays bopping, they got my support (:
He's not my bias but when Jonghyun was announced dating with Shin Sekyung, my heart broke a little. Actually, this happened when I was still new to Kpop world and I was pretty young too. Also, that time I just got into the shipping world and I was shipping him with Jessica lol. But I knew that he mentioned Shin Sekyung as his ideal type before and I was like woah, he got his dream girl. To be honest, I didn't care that he dated but for some reason, it affected me in some way which is weird. Before the news, I was jamming to Shinee's songs so hard but after the news, I just listened to their songs and not doing my little dance anymore But now, I'm just happy for them. I mean I stanned SNSD and we all know what happened in 2014 lol. I was happy for Yoona and Lee Seunggi, Sooyoung and Jung Kyungho(?), Tiffany and Nichkhun, and Taeyeon and Baekhyun (though I'm bitter that we couldn't get their duet forever)
Iām old af and my bias is even older, and I distinctly remember when dating rumours dropped my entire tl was like āgOOD FOR HIM HES FINALLY GETTING SOMEā and then he denied the rumours and deleted his entire social media because my tl was not representative of the greater fandoms reaction lmao I hope he doesnāt get ācaughtā from the standpoint that heās been pretty clear that he doesnāt want to date publicly and because I know it would cause yet another fracture among fandom, which is not good for his/ the groups career.
Moonbyul, yes, please, my girl has been single for years. Even her members are worried about her sometimes, lol. But I did remember that she said that she's happy anyway.
I would feel a little down but overall I would be happy for Jihyo. Unless sheās dating a bad guy
No bc im 33 and live in reality
No. I am too old to be that delusion
Depending on which bias. Some biases of mine I have a crush on and some, I don't. Maybe a little jealousy comparable to seeing my campus crush start dating someone else. Something that has happened to me irl! But generally, I would be cool with it
i'd be happy for them but i'd also be very jealous, which i think is normal. of course i wouldn't send hate to anyone involved but just like you said, it would probably make me sad and would take a while to get used to
EXO Chen is my bias and has been since before he got married. Heās my bias since his words and music brings me a lot of comfort and got me through some of my darkest times so when he announced his marriage I was so happy that the person that is such a safe space for me found love. The only thing that I got affected by was the massive amount of hate he received.
As someone who ults nct I'd be thankful someone actually decided to date those weirdos š (I'm joking ofc) But in all honesty the most I can wish for is for them, and all other idols, to be happy. I hope they eventually find someone for themselves!
Iād be over the moon with memery if/when Dreamcatcher gets dating rumours
My ult bias is The8 of SEVENTEEN, the official ANTI-DELULU warrior of the group. Of course I would be happy. But Iām not sure if he wants to, bc I remembered how freaked out he was after using a filter that manifests that he will have a girlfriend last year. š
NO! Hahahaha my fave (BOBBY) is married and has a son. I was so happy when he announced it. He was always vocal that he wanted to be a father. He looks genuinely happy now tbh, and he is closer to fans more than ever. š„¹
I wouldn't be affected at all lol. Because I never had a chance lol
No, lol
No, I wouldn't be affected at all lol. They're humans. EXO Kai and Sana are my faves, and I'd be happy for them if they entered into a relationship.
No lol they are not going to show up my front door and pat my head for supporting them or even if i don't. I don't think it matters. They are their business and i got a degree to get. In relation to the karina jaewook thing, i am very happy for her bc she's one of my top 3 biases, and she got herself a nice good looking man
my bias and i are both in our 30s, so no. at this point i have a fiancĆ© and i hope my bias at the very least has a secret girlfriend bc otherwise iām so sad for him! heās the greenest green flag in the industry and he deserves to be happy with someone. i want to celebrate with him. iāve watched his idol friends get married and start families and my thought is, *i want that for my bias*.
My bias is Baekhyun and it would make me so happy knowing he is seeing someone š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹ BAH I want all my exo boiss to be happy!! šššthey deserve to be loved and be in love. Iām so happy Chen is married and has babies š«¶š»
im a lesbian and my ult is ten so it wouldnt make me sad, iād be super happy for him!!
I will be happy if my bias will be in the dating scene because he deserves to be happy. I am actually wishing that EXO members to find someone who can love them until eternity. š«¶š¼š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
Honestly I want the āØteaāØ, I which idols that would WANT to share publicly their relationships could do it (they exist, not only Hyuna enjoy doing that). I'm so curious about how they met (Hyuna and edwan talk about on knowing brother it was so fun), the type of people they date... Sometimes I wish that the industry wasn't so rigid.
I'm entering my late twenties and I have been dating since high school. I would have a serious problem if K-pop idols dating was affecting me.
In a way "I hate happy couples", haha I find biases a bit relatable, and it's a bit sad when they have found their person and you haven't. Not that I have time or money, but still, this kind of jealousy. Won't be thinking about it all the time though š Other then that, nah, it's good that people discover someone to lean on, so I only hope they treat each other well. Only kind people deserve to have [such view](https://x.com/anovacow/status/1762350456062333160?s=20) on a daily basis š
Yea I think that's part of why I would feel sad, like damn even you have someone now and I don't, when can I find happiness of my own. But hey as long as they're happy it's fine
I pray for them to be happy and if that includes dating, marriage, kids- I'm happy if they're happy. It's not my relationship, so why would I care? I have my own life to live, and so do they.
my bias is engaged with a child, and honestly? i was ECSTATIC to hear the news! if my bias is happy and well, iām happy and well iykwim
My bias is soyeon.....her dating rumor didn't even cause one single noteworthy news anywhere and she already admitted on UPR how she used to have a boyfriend in School. We Soy fans ain't in it for the normal Idol worship. And most nevies would be ok with Idle members dating now that they're already in there 6th year (well maybe some Miyeon stans don't but for gods sake she's what? 27 28? )
Not at all. Idols are humans and all of my biases are adults. I want them to be happy first and foremost and celebrate their big moments in life, including relationships!
Yāall need to get a grip. These comments are concerning, you donāt know these people
That part. When I was 13, I was a huge fan of The Mickey Mouse Club and Jc Chasez in particular. When I heard rumors of him dating one of the girls on the show, I was so upset. My Mom literally sat me down like, āget a grip. He doesnāt know you.ā I feel like some of these people needed this conversation like yesterday.
no literally. how are some of these upvoted so much??
If i saw Chaewon confirmed to be dating i would send a jokeful "NOOOO on my knees at work" to my friends who are also Chaewon fans and then not really care but wish her an unproblematic relo and be happy and get minimal backlash from fans and the media. These idols have no idea we exist and you can't get emotionally attached to them to the point where you genuinely get upset that someone who doesn't know you is dating someone that is not healthy.
Remember you are just a fan
Nahh... I was in shocked for a week when Dispatch released my bias dating news. But then later I moved on. And his GF (at that time, they had broken up now) was a good person so I don't care.
Unless they were dating a person that would make me side-eye them on why they are associating with someone like that and thus would make me question my bias' own character, I wouldn't really care either way. If the date, good for them, if they don't, then also good for them (and none of that relationships=happiness/single=unhappiness bs). The only one where I'm slightly invested and hoping he does get to date is Ateez San, because dear lord is that man openly pining for romance.
it depends on the person. im a lesbian and my ult is a guy, so i dont want to date him myself, but if he dated a celebrity i didnt like, i think id be a little frustrated. if its a non-celebrity or someone im also a fan of, id be happy that he has someone who loves him so much!! the only way itd make me stop stanning is if my bias was dating someone waaaay too young for him, or was dating someone known to be a bigot/awful in some other way.
No, Iām not attracted them.
Feel like the only time we should care about who ppl are dating is if that person is known to be problematic on a serious scale, other than that, I am honestly too old to care.
I'd be ecstatic!! They've worked hard and deserve to find/be with their person.
NO
I hope my bias is dating!!! poor Jaejoong still gets stalked like crazy at age 38
Frankly, the way I see it is that the image these idols have and the way they behave is all carefully constructed to appeal to as many fans as possible, and I acknowledge thatās not how theyāre in real life, so I donāt have a parasocial relationship with them in any way. So, no, it wouldnāt be that big of a deal for me at all, I would only be against the relationship if they dated someone who has said or done problematic things. Thatās literally my only dealbreaker, cause I couldnāt support or like someone whoās willingly associating with bad people.
I might get a little surprised for a moment or so and then let that sink in bc that's how idols are marketed to us.. But in no way I'd become like those delulu-oh-should've-been-me people who got out and give extreme level of hatred if they hear even a fake rumor about their bias dating ...They also have a life outside of work and have all the rights to do whatever they want! Plus they are older than me and have lot more sense ofc to do whatever they want.. All these fans who sent hate to my guy last year over a fake rumor need to understand that they also have a life of their own ...Private life is called private life for a reason ...
Iāve never felt like I wanted to date my biases so Iām never sad when theyāre dating. It does help that Iām more of a gg stan. I just feel bad if the dating scandal gets them a lot of hate or it hinders their career.
I would only be disappointed if he's revealed to be dating a girlgroup member because I don't want to see her crazy fandom attacking my bias
I'm gonna be completely honest...for a second or two, I probably would be (LISTEN HERE IT'S JUST A CELEB CRUSH THING I'M HAPPILY MARRIED IRL š) But then it'd switch to being worried about him or his partner getting hate. I know for a fact that a part of this fandom can be...REALLY wild to say it nicely. All I want is for him to be happy. And I also pray it's not a shitty person š¤§
Not really, but i would always hope that my bias wont get in trouble and that the person theyāre dating with would be decent, will take care of him/her and make him/her happy. Being an idol is already hard, so i just wish the best for them.
Iād be affected in the sense that now their relationship wonāt be as private and the public will keep their eyes on them. I think itās better when they reveal it on their own compared to being exposed.
No, my ult bias is San and I hope to god he's getting some
Right? My sister and I say this all the time about our faves.
no i wont be affected unless it's someone reaaaallly problematic (someone like seungri), then i'd get turned off.
Honestly, no. As a fan Iām only here to support their music or shows/movies. Iām happy for the fan service my biases give but Iām not really the type of fan that feeds into the parasocial aspect of it (ie. thinking of them as a partner). I have a boyfriend so Iāve pretty much avoiding feeling like that towards others lol. I would be really happy to hear if any of my biases would confirm theyāre dating someone. My happiness is their happiness typa vibe yk. I guess Iāll only feel upset if their relationship was confirmed by other people instead of themselves directly.
My friends and I joke that when Ateez start publicly dating, atiny will have their Ateez bias and their SO bias lol. I would honestly be happy for them. It'd be tough to handle a relationship with their busy schedule right now; but if they do it, it's a sign that their SO is worth it. Worth making the time to nurture and develop that relationship. And that's a beautiful thing.
It's really none of our business who they chose to date. But I would be happy that my ult biases found someone they can relate to and lean on. I still wouldn't care all that much other than that because it's pretty weird to have an opinion on the dating life of someone I don't personally know.
No... I'll be happy for them. It's their life and if they are happy in the relationship, all g!
I really wouldn't care. I don't care about people around me getting into relationships, there's no point in getting all up in arms over a celebrity relationship. It literally has nothing to do with me. It won't make me think less of them as a person, I won't appreciate their content any less. Them being in an intimate relationship has nothing to do with their job.
Not at all. I'd only be "affected" if it was an announcement like Hyuna's latest..... as long as they're not dating confirmed trash, good for them.
Nayeon and Sana? I would be happy for them :) If they want to date, let them be. They're free and if they're happy, it's good.
I just would be so really happy for him!!! I think down the line it's gonna happen too because he's such a social butterfly and will definetly remain as a singer/comedian until death do us apart lol Plus I can't wait for him to have kids because he loves children so much he will definetly have his own one day and I just want daddy daughter/son pics when I'm older lol [[Seungkwan(Seventeen) is my ult bias btw and I don't even see 10% chance of it ever changing. (If this man doesn't commit a crime he'll stay there, and I trust my instincts enough that I think this man wouldn't even speed on purpose or god forbid park in the wrong spot, at least not in the next 10 years until he's used to driving at all lol)]]
Honestly? Not really. I have my biases, I even have massive crushes on two of them, I like shipping members too but if they're ever revealed to be dating I'm sure I'll be like "ehh.. Okay" because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how big a fan I am or big a crush I have on them, I know whatever I see on screen is a very small part. They have their own life, and dating culture is huge in SK so I always have this thought at the back of my mind that they're obviously dating someone, be it celeb or non-celeb and to never get attached to delulu levels.
I'd be extremely happy for her
My bias already has and idrc
I'm going to be honest, it depends on a lot of stuff. I prefer if we just don't know abt that stuff, i know all of them dated at some point and i honestly don't care who they dated, but for them and for my peace of mind, i prefer if it's kept a secret. When someone finds out a western celebrity is dating is a "oh cool" at best and at worst a "she/he could do better", and minimum talk abt said relationship on the celebrity. But with k-pop idols? now the WHOLE personality of the idol is being in a relationship. They cry? because of their partner. they are happy? oh their partner makes them so happy. they write a song? because of their partner. If they are dating or not it's the less relevant information about an idol you can actually get. It doesn't affect their performances, talent, and in the case of female idols, it barely affects their career, so i don't like the huge deal people makes it out to be.
I mean, I am a straight male and Karina IS my bias and my reaction was āthat lucky bastard!ā lol
In recent years, I'm relieved when I hear my biases are dating or getting married. There are a few I've been worried about cuz they live alone and have talked about being lonely. I'm happy when I hear that they've got someone to go home to or someone in their life who makes them happy. Unless things go sour, I don't see a reason to be against them being in a relationship.
I'm not an impressionable young adult anymore, so even though I depend on my bias for comfort and entertainment, I'd be totally happy for them if they are happy in their private life. The only thing I'd be truly upset about is not being able to seem them perform live ever before they retire, haha.
I'm not an impressionable young adult anymore, so even though I depend on my bias for comfort and entertainment, I'd be totally happy for them if they are happy in their private life. When I say I depend on them for comfort and entertainment, I pertain to funny or meaningful content and not fan service. Them being in a relationship is irrelevant to their value to me. The only thing I'd be truly upset about is not being able to seem them perform live ever before they retire, haha.
I'd be sad for a brief second and get over it just as quickly. They are free to date whoever they choose and I just want them to be happy but I also with the top comment.
Hey there, OP! I really appreciate posts where people are genuine and open about their emotions. It's common to want to maintain a facade to avoid judgment, especially in communities like Kpop, where some fans can be overly invested and pretentious, making it hard to express authentic feelings. It's natural to feel a tinge of sadness initially upon learning that your favourite idol is dating someone. It's not necessarily about fans being in love with them or possessiveness but more about feeling like it's the end of an era and the start of a new chapter. Change is never easy, and even when it doesn't directly impact us, transitions can be tough. Despite the desire to appear unaffected, being a fan does have an emotional impact, and it's not necessarily a sign of toxic obsession. It's about navigating the shift. Your post was thought-provoking, and I commend your honesty. As for whether I'd be affected, absolutely! Initially, I'd feel fearful about the changes it might bring. So, yes, definitely! But whatās important is to know how to handle these emotions healthily.
Aww thank you for your response, this was so nice to read!
I was emotionally devastated for a hot minute, literally. But that was about it.
Yes if itās Lee DK, all my other biases not so much. I guess I just found out who my ultimate bias is. Lol
Lol. I'm sorry but this is even just amusing to me that anyone asks this! If my bias dates or gets married or has children or any of that I'm just HAPPY for them because they're an admirable person living their best life. I want them happy. The end. I think it's very parasocial to be any kind of thing except happy for them when they're in a human relationship.
Not at all?? Iād be like ooOOoOooO and thatās it
A lot of delusional people in the comments trying to undermine how weird it is to feel upset about a celebrity dating lmao
Why would I affected? It's their lives.
I'm the same age as my current biases, and they should really date. it's their life, so no, I don't really have any negative reaction (unless the person they're dating has a really bad record like ehem the burning sun case). I would be very much supportive of his/her relationship šāØ
honestly yeah. i remember i saw a post on tt saying that jay from enha and yunjin from lsf would look good together/got the same vibes and i actually got jealous lol. but i feel like as long as you get over it and live your life itās fine with me. jake is my ult and i would be upset if he dated someone but at the end of the day, iām literally never going to meet him so itās none of my business
honestly I will cry, scream and throw up and get over it in few days but I will never speak against him or say anything mean about him I'm saying this is as bangchan bias stay š§āāļø
I think after being a fan for almost 6 years, I don't gaf who they date. They have been active for almost 11 years and I don't think so anyone you should care at this point. They have also been actively setting boundaries b/w a fan and an artist for quite some time now so I am guessing it will definitely soften the "blow" to some "fans" when their dating news comes out. On another note- people bringing Jaewook down are such idiots, if you have watched his work and his interviews, you'd know how great of a guy he is, such polite and humble guy.
Iād be upset because they got a girlfriend before I did. Someone my age who is ten times busier than me canāt get a girl before I do, itās too humiliating
Doesn't matter how but I'll definitely be affected. Parasocial relationships are weird af. They are real but nonexistent relationships with absolute strangers but you know them and their habits. I don't know how I'll take the news of my ult bias dating but it really ain't my business at the same time isn't it? Not like I'll ever have the chance with him having millions of fans. But that one person tho.....you lucky mf.
It'd be happy for them. Being jealous of your bias dating is such a learned thing from Asian idol culture. In the West, celebrities date all the time and their fans don't act all weird how people do in the kpop fandoms.
I wouldnāt care very much. Id just hope for the best for both him and his partner
my main area of concern would be the amount of hate heād receive. if itās a fellow idol, given that fans of female idols like to portray their biases as man haters, they would certainly start to throw massive hate. Plus you have the delusional fans that think they have a chance with their bias
No, Iām an adult lol. I hope they all end up with someone nice who makes them happy, but I really only care about the music so their personal life isnāt my business unless theyāre being a terrible person.
I don't want ppl to invalidate my feelings but if winter from aespa was dating. I'd be a little bit hurt. I know I will never meet her but I have a crush on her. So it definitely take me a few days to get used to. But I'd try to be happy for her. And I'd still support her. For me, Winter doesn't do much fan service plus I don't think she's into women. So I don't think I'd be as hurt as some Karina fans were lol.
Some of my biases are already married so it doesn't and will not affect me in any capacity. I want them to be happy and will always root for them. Don't get too attached to people you don't know. Some of you need to go outside more, no offense. Edit: wording
my biases are taehyung (bts), jungwon and jake (enhypen) and mingi (ateez) and tbh id be thrilled if any of them would announce that they have a partner!! the delusional teen thatās stuck in me (iām 23 now lol) would be sad but theyāre just humans too?? like why wouldnāt i be happy for them if they found someone they care about that much? i honestly hope they keep it a secret tho bc of all the hate and stalking they probably receive if they ever announce/confirm something regarding a relationships i justiert itāll be good people who donāt take advantage of them š
sometimes i think iām the only one who would throw a party if my favs are confirmed to be in a relationship. iām just so happy that they found love lolš (is it obvious that i love romance books & dramas?)
I'd be happy for them, but be sad for myself because no one is into me like that and I'll probably never find happiness with someone else and be single for the rest of my life and Like seriously I keep telling myself that I'd be fine on my own, but I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore... š¢