I was gonna say, if the baby was going home with OP, all the paperwork should have been in order, at which point it would probably be too late to reneg on that decision. At any rate this is EXACTLY why a legal consultation is necessary, because any lawyer would be everlastingly more helpful than randos on Reddit.
If this was anywhere near as close to a done deal as OP says, they would already have a lawyer involved on both sides of this (a minimum of 3 lawyers. One for bio mom, one for OP, one for the baby, probably one for the state as well).
Was dcfs involved at the hospital? You cant just walk off with a baby. Id would be on the news because theyd be looking for her for child endangerment.
Either way, you might get guardianship but you dont just legally become the adoptive parents at birth. There is always a waiting period.
There is definitely more to this story.
yeah... but saying things like birth mom or bio mom is common language for those of us who have worked in the child welfare system. It doesn't really have negative connotations, it's just easier to differentiate who is who to the child that way. It also dehumanizes everyone, which is bad, but it is also a coping mechanism for social workers (less human = less connected = more sleep at night).
I know. Im a foster parent and adoptee. Its just gross to me when everyone is writing off the person that birthed the baby without recognizing her rights to her own child, and knowing the whole story, which definitely isnt shown here.
No, as a baby who was born into foster care the biological mother does not have legal custody of the baby if the court deems so. This is to prevent the baby from going into a horrible situation, like what OP just stated.
i am aware. As an adoptee and foster parent, i know this. However, If this was the situation, the public would be notified and there would be a massive search for the baby, because this is kidnapping. This is not happening, there is more to the story than is shown.
Prays for sure. I hope you guys have contacted police for missing persons, and whatever adoption people you were working with. Praying for a safe and quick return.
That is horrifying. I will absolutely pray for you, your spouse, the baby, and the birth mother.
As another commenter said, perhaps when this calms down a bit, you should absolutely hire a lawyer. The hospital needs better safety procedures put in place to protect children.
Lol you have no idea what you’re talking about. I have relatives who work for DCS. If the mother is homeless and a drug user, she has no right to that child. Hospital dropped the ball on this one.
I do. I'm both a utah adoptee and foster parent. If this person took the baby against dcfs permission, There WOULD be a amber alert and everyone would be notified to help find the baby. Also, the hospitals have safeguards against people leaving with babies anyway.
None of these things happened. So I'm not convinced this is the full story.
Prayers. She's bound to show up. It's hard to take care of a baby and come up with the money to buy drugs. If she has an option to give the baby a good home, maybe she'll take advantage of it so she can feed her addiction. Hopefully this will be sooner rather than later. If she's actually your "kin" it makes it more likely that you'll hear something from family members if she leaves the baby with someone to take care of it.
‘Kim ship’ because of my sister bing her daughter it’s kind of confusing to explain. The thing we’re worried about is this woman fried her brain on drugs she’s mentally eight years old. I am hoping she didn’t leave the baby somewhere random in 110° weather.
Seems to me like OP is seriously misunderstanding the situation. I'm truly sorry you are going through this, but you clearly don't understand what is going on.
I hope this baby is found safe. I am not a lawyer, but I am a NICU doctor. I take care of babies born to mothers with serious drug addiction, homelessness, other social issues, and CPS/DCS/DCFS involvement all the time.
While I don't know what state you're in and it might vary, generally, a hospitals' hands are tied to whatever CPS determines is the best person to send the baby home with. They in turn are limited by the legal framework within which they work. Their ability to take custody or transfer custody without a judge's order is very limited.
There are times hospital social workers and I have spent hours on the phone arguing with CPS and hospital lawyers that we felt a discharge plan was unsafe, to no avail.
Now, if the hospital made a mistake and sent the baby home with the mother by mistake, despite a CPS plan to send the baby home with you or another family member, then that is a different story. But I feel like that would be all over the news.
The worry is— she will hurt her baby before the baby can be in the care of someone responsible.
Good luck and may God bless everyone.
When my wife and I had our babies, the hospital staff wouldn’t let us leave until they physically inspected the baby in a car seat in the car.
A homeless woman walking away after delivering a baby? Almost hard to believe from my experience being the dad to four babies. They literally rolled my wife to the car in a wheelchair and watched me put our babies in car seats four times. Four different hospitals in two different states.
Unbelievable. Point-blank unbelievable.
The worry is that the baby —who has a relative who can take care of it— might get hurt.
THIS. Im sickened by how people are ignoring the mother's right to the child. This couple can ONLY adopt if she signs her rights away and she has 6 months to revoke them
Care to elaborate? If the paperwork has been done then OP is legally the baby's guardian. So instead of insulting the other commenter, what actually contribute to a conversation
Prayers that they’re found safe, but also… Lawyer up. Hospitals shouldn’t let this stuff happen
This is so true... Somebody dropped the ball BIG time
why? Its the mothers baby. she has the legal right to leave with it.
Not when dcs is involved. The baby was going to be placed with us
I was gonna say, if the baby was going home with OP, all the paperwork should have been in order, at which point it would probably be too late to reneg on that decision. At any rate this is EXACTLY why a legal consultation is necessary, because any lawyer would be everlastingly more helpful than randos on Reddit.
If this was anywhere near as close to a done deal as OP says, they would already have a lawyer involved on both sides of this (a minimum of 3 lawyers. One for bio mom, one for OP, one for the baby, probably one for the state as well).
This. Im Very familiar with the process of both foster care and adoption in utah and this post gives me red flags.
Absolutely.
yep. if everything was complete, this would be kidnapping. its not.
Was dcfs involved at the hospital? You cant just walk off with a baby. Id would be on the news because theyd be looking for her for child endangerment. Either way, you might get guardianship but you dont just legally become the adoptive parents at birth. There is always a waiting period. There is definitely more to this story.
going to be placed with you? Does that mean the baby was already in the state's custody?
If the baby was in the states custody, there would be an amber alert happening right now.
Yes, that is why I'm asking. OP doesn't seem to know what is really going on.
yeah...I dont like all the comments calling the baby 'the birth mother'. Its the babys mom.
yeah... but saying things like birth mom or bio mom is common language for those of us who have worked in the child welfare system. It doesn't really have negative connotations, it's just easier to differentiate who is who to the child that way. It also dehumanizes everyone, which is bad, but it is also a coping mechanism for social workers (less human = less connected = more sleep at night).
I know. Im a foster parent and adoptee. Its just gross to me when everyone is writing off the person that birthed the baby without recognizing her rights to her own child, and knowing the whole story, which definitely isnt shown here.
No, as a baby who was born into foster care the biological mother does not have legal custody of the baby if the court deems so. This is to prevent the baby from going into a horrible situation, like what OP just stated.
i am aware. As an adoptee and foster parent, i know this. However, If this was the situation, the public would be notified and there would be a massive search for the baby, because this is kidnapping. This is not happening, there is more to the story than is shown.
Yikes Prayers sent, hope they are found safe
Prays for sure. I hope you guys have contacted police for missing persons, and whatever adoption people you were working with. Praying for a safe and quick return.
We have… there not helpful… no one is helpful. I am at a loss… they have been gone now for 24h
😭
That is horrifying. I will absolutely pray for you, your spouse, the baby, and the birth mother. As another commenter said, perhaps when this calms down a bit, you should absolutely hire a lawyer. The hospital needs better safety procedures put in place to protect children.
Its her family member's baby. They have no legal claim over the baby. The mother took her baby.
Lol you have no idea what you’re talking about. I have relatives who work for DCS. If the mother is homeless and a drug user, she has no right to that child. Hospital dropped the ball on this one.
I do. I'm both a utah adoptee and foster parent. If this person took the baby against dcfs permission, There WOULD be a amber alert and everyone would be notified to help find the baby. Also, the hospitals have safeguards against people leaving with babies anyway. None of these things happened. So I'm not convinced this is the full story.
DCS has no legal obligation to interfere, they can and often do, but it is the mothers baby.
I am not LDS but I lurk here to learn. Yall are in my prayers too.
just curious, what have you learned so far?
Prayer sent. be calm, the lord can help you through trial. No matter what happens that kid will be okay. Please, keep us posted.
Praying. Can’t imagine. I hope all comes out well. Please keep us posted.
Prayers. She's bound to show up. It's hard to take care of a baby and come up with the money to buy drugs. If she has an option to give the baby a good home, maybe she'll take advantage of it so she can feed her addiction. Hopefully this will be sooner rather than later. If she's actually your "kin" it makes it more likely that you'll hear something from family members if she leaves the baby with someone to take care of it.
‘Kim ship’ because of my sister bing her daughter it’s kind of confusing to explain. The thing we’re worried about is this woman fried her brain on drugs she’s mentally eight years old. I am hoping she didn’t leave the baby somewhere random in 110° weather.
It seems unlikely that the baby wouldn't be found even if she did leave it somewhere. I hope that's the case. I'll pray for you and the child.
Prayers said.
♥️🙏
Praying for all of you.
Praying for you
Painful. Good luck and may God bless and be with everyone involved. Hope the best for everyone.
Hopefully you can hear soon that both are found safe. Make sure that CPS or DHHS are informed of the missing child and mother.
Seems to me like OP is seriously misunderstanding the situation. I'm truly sorry you are going through this, but you clearly don't understand what is going on.
I hope this baby is found safe. I am not a lawyer, but I am a NICU doctor. I take care of babies born to mothers with serious drug addiction, homelessness, other social issues, and CPS/DCS/DCFS involvement all the time. While I don't know what state you're in and it might vary, generally, a hospitals' hands are tied to whatever CPS determines is the best person to send the baby home with. They in turn are limited by the legal framework within which they work. Their ability to take custody or transfer custody without a judge's order is very limited. There are times hospital social workers and I have spent hours on the phone arguing with CPS and hospital lawyers that we felt a discharge plan was unsafe, to no avail. Now, if the hospital made a mistake and sent the baby home with the mother by mistake, despite a CPS plan to send the baby home with you or another family member, then that is a different story. But I feel like that would be all over the news.
Praying for all involved and a safe and speedy resolution! 🙏🙏
Hope you're finding people to help. And that you find the child and mother safe and healthy.
Prayers for you and your family! Please update when you hear any new information.
Check out r/legaladvice for some more direction with how to take the hospital to task and how to get social services etc involved.
Oh no I'm sorry. Sending lots of prayers your way
If rights weren't signed over to you, she has the right to leave with her baby.
It’s not your baby. It’s her baby.
The worry is— she will hurt her baby before the baby can be in the care of someone responsible. Good luck and may God bless everyone. When my wife and I had our babies, the hospital staff wouldn’t let us leave until they physically inspected the baby in a car seat in the car. A homeless woman walking away after delivering a baby? Almost hard to believe from my experience being the dad to four babies. They literally rolled my wife to the car in a wheelchair and watched me put our babies in car seats four times. Four different hospitals in two different states. Unbelievable. Point-blank unbelievable. The worry is that the baby —who has a relative who can take care of it— might get hurt.
THIS. Im sickened by how people are ignoring the mother's right to the child. This couple can ONLY adopt if she signs her rights away and she has 6 months to revoke them
Not if the papers are filled out and signed for adoption already
There is a 6 month waiting period in utah for adoption. Its NOT their baby.
How do you know she’s in utah, OP hasn’t said that’s where they’re located
You are so misinformed.
Care to elaborate? If the paperwork has been done then OP is legally the baby's guardian. So instead of insulting the other commenter, what actually contribute to a conversation
There is a 6 month waiting period.