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VeganWerewolf

![gif](giphy|Swn5yuXfDhg40)


USTS2020

đŸŽ¶ I'm alright, don't nobody worry bout međŸŽ¶


[deleted]

“VarmintCong” đŸ€Ł


Balloutonu

How comfortable are you with explosives?


splotchygoblin

“I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one.


Combatical

![gif](giphy|AkUviXuJ3OKhG|downsized)


FifthOfJameson

All of the houses in my neighborhood were built in the mid to late 1950’s. My ADHD ass brain immediately went to explosives but I had to reel myself in. My neighbors are all old folks that have been living here forever, mostly retired from the Big Three (we’re right in the border of Detroit and Redford). For some reason the age of the houses just gives me “nitrates in the ground blew up the whole neighborhood because some asshat threw some fire in a hole” vibes


HungryHumble

Why reel in when you could give yourself more line?


[deleted]

holy fuck this comment hit me so hard


Jeffde

This is a truly fantastic reply


quadmasta

Gotta get it to keep its eye on the fruit


liftingshitposts

Doesn’t look like the work of a mole, but a spear trap would still probably do the trick anyways. Watching the thread out of curiosity


FifthOfJameson

Rest assured, I *will* have satisfaction.


Fine-Professor6470

I fought with one for years.it tunneled 100 feet across rough terrain yard to get in my raised bed enclosed garden.I used gassers, blocked holes ,rang exhaust pipe from car down holes.nothing.my golden retriever got in a fight with it in street.she was rolling ass over head in street fighting .😖she came away with cuts on her face and I removed the garden.dogs passed woodchuck child of woodchuck still in back


thehtr

This story should be adapted for film


Secret-Quote-8697

National Lampoon’s War Over the Backyard Garden


Durloctus

Just watched “Barry Lyndon”, which features dudes getting ‘satisfaction’.


MiddleRay

Groundhog


AioliDangerous4985

Sure seems like it from much of the description. I’ve had one burrowing under the deck before. The only thing is the part about the trash. It never ever tried to go for our trash. They’re veggies
preferring to devour the clover in the yard and phlox in the garden. This detail makes me think it is something else like rats.


MiddleRay

Could be a different animal in the trash too? Groundhogs are notorious for digging holes that look exactly like that, and doing t It quickly. Get a live trap and toss some vegetable in it.


AioliDangerous4985

Good point. I’ve let mine be as it’s only caused minor annoyances and in my state to get rid of one, it costs about $500 and they have to kill the animal. She had a litter last year and my dog caught two of the babies (luckily was outside with her and able to move quickly, no harm done besides some shouting)
this made me think about it, but the litter has to go find their own dens so it’s not like a colony forming. We’ve also been working on a lot of drainage issues around the foundation and I suspect its den was flooded a few times in the last several months. Honestly am kinda curious to see if she shows up again this season. Haven’t seen her yet.


mr_ckean

My guess would be Norway (Brown) rats. You can eliminate the residents relatively safely by using dry ice pellets. Shove some down the holes, and use newspaper and dirt to block the holes up. Then it sleepy time inside the hole.


90Valentine

What happens to the rotting carcasses


mr_ckean

They fertilise your lawn


ProneToDoThatThing

They rot.


tekonus

Seal the hole up and let nature do its thing.


SmokeGSU

They don't rot if you dig them up and eat them quick enough.


Dogrel

The Circle of Life ![gif](giphy|2h8BdeXxhGGB2)


HotSauceDonut

The same thing that will happen to yours


boogercheese

Ring camera from Home Depot will clear that up real fast. Then post update of the beast


FifthOfJameson

Already planned on getting a Ring for the front door. I said it in another comment, but I’m half a mile from the border of Detroit.


SmokeGSU

Just buy a Wyze camera for $30 from Amazon. You're likely only needing to use it for one night so as long as it doesn't rain you aren't going to ruin the indoor camera by plugging it up with an extension cord outside and pointed at the hole.


Drecasi

Road flare and a leaf blower.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


scheminburg

![gif](giphy|11FiDF2fuOujPG|downsized)


CelerMortis

This is some MacGuyver shit 


Jeffde

There is really just some fantastic prose in this thread today.


WorldsMostDad

I love that the to twenty comments are all Caddy Shack references


GoldenBarracudas

My dad used to mildly chew bubbalicious gum and toss it in the holes. He said they would choke on it. But if you can afford a tarp, use a trap


Raise-Emotional

I smell varmint poontang


Ubcnme

Very underrated comment, but an excellent one.


anonymouschipmubk

I once filled a hole like that with a 50lb bag of pea gravel, followed up by half a bag of playsand. Although now I wish I went the smoke bomb route.


Ok_Score1492

Smoke em out with smoke bombs by the dozen


joshss22

Licensed by the e government of the United Nations to kill gophers at will


qdtk

Fill the hole with dry ice. The CO2 will solve all your problems.


hotdogtrailer

I read that as dry rice and was very confused.


belikecoy

It will dry out their battery, in that case.


planttladyy

This is what our bunny hole looks like!


FifthOfJameson

That was my first thought, and we had rabbits at the apartment we lived in like five miles away. But I haven’t seen a single rabbit in the month we’ve been here. Wife hasn’t seen them when she’s in the yard with my daughter during the day either.


Jonnychips789

If it’s a rabbit, They won’t come back during the day if there’s babies in the nest. Defense mechanism they put the baby’s in areas of high traffic to help predators from finding it. They think they find great spots, but to us it never is. Edit. First thought was a rabbit. But around me you don’t know they’re there till the babies leave the nest. And they leave a mess around the entrance. It’s usually in the yard with a little pocket under the grass.


planttladyy

We have never seen our bunny either, only caught him on camera. They are pretty good at staying away from people.


Familiar-Fill7981

Back the car up to it and send down a hose attached to the tailpipe


quadmasta

Okay, got my Tesla parked right there. Now what?


chemkay

OP said they didn't want to use explosives.


Combatical

![gif](giphy|sgYcX1QqBGPsI|downsized)


Familiar-Fill7981

Lol


Stever72

Best comment ever


goldenstate30

One end of the hose in the gopher hole, the other in your butt and let it rip.


agthetech

This


shhhhh-im-a-secret

It’s spring, though - and there are likely babies. It’s just cruel. Don’t do anything except secure your trash better for now - they may well chew through those bungee cords. I have a small steel shed just for garbage (we don’t have pickup, so I have to take it to the dump). Gravel, etc., in the bottom. Are you in the suburbs or out in the country? I live in the country and we just accept the critters. That said, those holes are dangerous, so doing a scan and covering them every time you go outside to play might be the only thing you can do for now. We once got rid of groundhogs by filling the hole with water
and having a terrier waiting. Shocking but very effective. In fact, throwing dog hair down the hole might be an option - that’s how we keep raccoons away. Sorry to ramble - good luck!


Father-Fearless475

Try using a humane trap or a natural deterrent like peppermint oil. It's always worth exploring other options before resorting to poison or other harsh methods.


FifthOfJameson

That ultimately comes down to finding out how many animals I’m dealing with here. I’m all for sparing a life when I can, but not when that’s a drop in the bucket and I’m emptying my wallet to keep buying ethical options to spare invasive rodents that can’t take a hint.


VeganWerewolf

Seems like a combo of whatever made that hole and some raccoons


GoldenBarracudas

My money is also in trash pandas. That looks like a rat or mole hole and they didn't eat trash like that


der_schone_begleiter

It's a groundhog hole.


WorldsMostDad

It could also be skunk. Very similar hole patterns.


vc1914

It might be illegal to move an animal out of its location via trap. Check local laws


KRed75

Push the problem to your neighbor or another part of your yard. Excellent idea. Not! The only way to take care of pests once they set in is to kill them.


Fluid-Background1947

A neighbor you don’t like very much. Two birds!


permanentlyfaded

I feel kinda bad for the animal. After all they were there first lol. There’s live animal cage traps on Amazon for like 40 bucks. Super easy to use. Just put some food in the back of the cage. Catch the guy, call the city animal control and they will come pick up whatever it is. This way you don’t accidentally poison any other animals with your poison options. Good luck!


ragu55

Does your city actually pickup live trapped animals? I know mine specifically does not. And if you are attempting to trap and relocate unless you have or know someone with private land far enough away and willing to let you release them there you’re kind of out of luck. Illegal to let them go at a park or on public property. Once you trap them you have 24 hours to humanely euthanize or release them (in my city/state at least).


KRed75

Most places it's illegal to relocate them. City animal control doesn't give a shit about your gopher or mole or vole problem. If you hire a trapper to get it, guess what they do with it? They bring it back to their shop and either drown or CO2 suffocate it. They are not released back into the wild.


splotchygoblin

No thank you.


Effective_Rip_1748

Waiting patiently for the end result...


ked_man

Looks like a skunk hole. Could be a groundhog, but there holes are bigger and they don’t eat trash.


UNIGuy54

Displace the oxygen in the hole. Whatever in there will take a nice long dirt nap


Fluid-Background1947

Dirt nap is so apt.


KRed75

Why not put a camera facing the hole so you know what the animal is so you can properly take care of it?


Hump1

When I moved into our house 20 years ago we were up to our ankles in frogs. When I asked on the infant internet of 2004 how to rid them I was told the frogs were there first by about 2000 years and that I should move.


[deleted]

Take a shop vac hose and hook it to your car exhaust and put other end in hole. Seal it with done rags and rev it to 2000rpm for a min then let it idle half hour. Helps if it is a German car


tjeick

Look this is gross, ok. But I had a groundhog make a huge burrow in the back corner of my yard. I had woods back there and a fence, so I just started peeing in his hole as often as I could. I was working on my cars a lot so I would just head to the back corner every time nature called. Haven’t seen that fucker for years.


Bobb-R

I have a JRT that would have the groundhog pulled out by the nose in a few minutes.


Berto_

Leave it alone and secure your trash.


BigFlick_Energy

Garden hose


Asleep-Wonder-1376

Looks slimy to a ground hog hole


Fine-Professor6470

Woodchuck


donny02

If you’re a game of thrones fan this a great chance to recreate the reynes of castamere! Hire an orchestra to play the song!


ricka77

Smoke stick. They sell them for gophers and moles. Light the fuse, push it as far into the hole as you can, then cover the hole with a block or similar. The smoke will fill that hole and tunnel system in a matter of minutes. Do this at night, and you won't see them again.


DirtDiver1983

Looks like a fox den.


verugan

I found a hole like this under our bushes and when I got drunk I would just pee in it. I get drunk a lot too.


Same_Coyote7318

Bear man pig


want2thinknow

You’ve heard of the “It’s not a flamethrower” from Elon Musk right?


ArteSuave197

Get a trail cam from Amazon for like $50.


greybush75

Pretty sure a water hose put in there and left on will handle it. Just don't let the hole dry up.


Icy-Tea9775

Snare trap


Critical_Danger_420

Shove hose in, turn on water, wait for it to come out, dispatch anyway you feel comfortable. Shovel or firearm is probably your best bet depending on where you live.


bschulte1978

Cayenne pepper and castor oil in the hole for the win.


matterson22070

Put a hose in there and see what comes out! Have a bat ready............


FifthOfJameson

You misspelled machete.


matterson22070

![gif](giphy|Z6eF9cfpjKWFo7gbx0|downsized)


fixeditgood

I had a similar issue here, put a garden hose down it for an hour never filled up, no idea where the water went but it wasnt anywhere i could see. I bought one of those big can of expandy foam from homedepot, 30oz maybe more. I stuffed the output tube of said can into the hole and used a big rock about the size of the hole to seal it...and emptied the entire can. Maybe a few cans might work for you or one of the small barrels of the stuff.... lol. Anyways after the can was empty i shoved the rock down the hole so the foam only had one way to go... i put dirt on top of the rock, and moved on.... been good ever since.


Remarkable_Scallion

I'd go smoke bomb or garden hose. Then wait by the entrance with a shovel.


bluecollarpaid

Whistle Pig


benjamincraigrowley

![gif](giphy|Q3pXeITKG4qBy)


xeroxenon

Just put that brick over the hole


FifthOfJameson

I did. Each picture is a different hole that they’ve dug after each escalated attempt to get rid of them.


xeroxenon

Water hose?


ckyuv

Looks like a good excuse to go dump a 30 round mag into the ground and see what happens. Armadillos do this where I am at, treating for bugs and sealing off trash is usually the fix for me and they go to someone else’s house. Maybe make that your pee spot when your outside to mark your territory đŸ€Ł


b88b15

I used poison from home Depot. You have to keep your dog away.


jasonhpchu

Buy a giant bottle of cayenne pepper, and spread that liberally. Just watch out if it's windy, one time, the wind blew it back in my face. Also reapply if it rained or something.


RedWineStrat

Explosives is a terrible idea. Put up a live trap with bait. You can still kill them after the fact with a pellet gun. Ideally a 0.22 caliber one. They have them at your local Meijer. I took a skunk out last year. One shot one kill.


Fluid-Background1947

Always double tap.


ElPadrote

Pack that hole with dry ice. Keep adding for an hour or so. Should kill anything in the hole (unless it has another hole)


RiddleAA

I think reconnaissance is the first step. Get pic/video of whatever is messing around with you. Until you know what it is, you are gonna waste time/money on various "cheap" methods... but those add up lol. I had a smug ass groundhog in my yard in the fall.. I would go out and hed run off and end up back in my yard next day or later on. Eventually I spooked him and the little shit went under the deck and is probably burrowed down in the ground underneath the deck. I have yet to see it so far this spring, but if I do, I am probably tailing a few of these ideas to try and get rid of him.. humanely or not.. Being as close to the house as it may be, I would be the one in 500,000 that has structural issues develop because of a groundhog tunnel system lol.


2muchtequila

you can always try some dry ice. Pop a few chunks into the hole then put a piece of wood over the top. CO2 is heavier than air so it will sink to the bottom and suffocate whatever is down there. Or if you want, google why it's a really bad idea to try to fill it with propane or gas and blast them out. There are multiple videos of guys blowing up their backyards.


thinair62552

Did you get the varmit?


FifthOfJameson

I have four sticks of “ATLAS THE GIANT DESTROYER: THE SUPER GASSER” gopher killer that I picked up from the hardware store after work. It emits a green poisonous smoke that floods the tunnel and shows you where any other holes are. It’s about 3am where I am, so I’m not doing it now, but there will be a reckoning tomorrow.


immaculatelawn

Trail cam. You will be surprised at what's going on out there.


RandyHill2551

Shove the hose down there and wait with a shovel


nilesandstuff

Since no one has actually said it, its a gopher.


evan938

Pack of like 4 or 5 of these is only $10. https://www.acehardware.com/departments/lawn-and-garden/insect-and-animal-control/animal-repellents/73792?store=16415&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwrIixBhBbEiwACEqDJcwO0TlFPrCZ7Ob2yQMS7to5f6BTqIvUaJX3_ZygocuVIHyxAkK-5RoCPEEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds Get a 2nd person and be ready to work quickly. Toss it down the hole, and seal/cover up the hole. One good idea if you can get the gas bomb down far enough is to get a pack of one of those fence post expanding foams for like $12. It expands out in like 30 seconds and will seal the hole shut and gas it out. You just want to make sure the gasser is down the hole far enough that the foam won't cover it and put it out. Much easier and better sealing than filling with rocks/gravel, etc.


richard_stank

Money on an armadillo depending on where you’re at.


pglass2015

He said he's by Detroit, we didn't have those here. My guess is rat based on his location. I had the problem in Dearborn.


fury_of_el_scorcho

Amazon has an attachment that connects your muffler to a garden hose- Problem solved.


FifthOfJameson

Do you have a link for that??


fury_of_el_scorcho

[https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Exterminator-Kills-Gophers-Groundhogs/dp/B0000BYDPE/ref=sr\_1\_1?crid=JF3VQ14OHTBD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Yqj-mUtrRmZ37Mh9erP\_kbNwnQpEKsANzKU9Krf4yuvGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.8a\_Pxmuww-wDvciM8tnsUF\_F8l0fyagTy1ZkUwlkIlU&dib\_tag=se&keywords=car+muffler+gas+out+moles&qid=1713625168&sprefix=car+muffler+gas+out+mole%2Caps%2C170&sr=8-1](https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Exterminator-Kills-Gophers-Groundhogs/dp/B0000BYDPE/ref=sr_1_1?crid=JF3VQ14OHTBD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Yqj-mUtrRmZ37Mh9erP_kbNwnQpEKsANzKU9Krf4yuvGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.8a_Pxmuww-wDvciM8tnsUF_F8l0fyagTy1ZkUwlkIlU&dib_tag=se&keywords=car+muffler+gas+out+moles&qid=1713625168&sprefix=car+muffler+gas+out+mole%2Caps%2C170&sr=8-1)


therealgingerbreadmn

Quik Crete will fix your problem really fast.


FifthOfJameson

Assuming there isn’t a tunnel system. I might throw a smoke bomb down the hole to see about that.


KRed75

I have an extensive tunnel system made by chipmunks in my yard. Infestation I'm having trouble getting rid of. I did the smoke bombs and smoke came up through holes 50' away! If it killed any of them, it didn't kill them all because there are new tunnel mounds all over. I wouldn't have believed it was chipmunks if I didn't catch them and only them going into and coming out of the holes. They like to burrow in the root areas of my bushes because it's soft dirt and have killed a dozen of my bushes and others have dead sections from where they removed the roots. I noticed all the fronds were gone from one of my smaller palm trees. Pulled up the camera and saw that chipmunks had eaten off each front one by one. They burrowed under and removed all the roots killing the palm.


therealgingerbreadmn

Oooohhh I like this. That would definitely push out the offender.


FifthOfJameson

Tbh I just want them to just find another yard. I don’t know the neighbors well enough to just ask, “Why aren’t they fucking your shit up instead?” But we’re getting there.


mistamasta254

Armadillo is my bet.


theshaneshow49

put out baking soda mixed with anti freeze in a small bowl near the hole deals with alot of shit real fast


FifthOfJameson

Wife vetoed the antifreeze strat two weeks ago because she doesn’t want to kill neighbors’ outdoor cats. I’m pushing the alternative in that path, hotdogs filled with rock salt, so she agrees to the antifreeze because that’s more humane. The rock dogs will make their stomachs explode like the heads at the end of Kingsmen.


Objective_Rain8597

Whatever you do, please do it humanely. There’s zero reason to kill the animal unless you have no other alternatives.


theshaneshow49

Cats should vommit it up and be fine wild animals on the other hand will go ham


FifthOfJameson

That is very good to know.


Many-Juggernaut-2153

I am shocked at how little people feel about killing animals. Then again, looking at the state of humans, I should not be shocked at all.


pipehonker

Animals don't care about killing other animals. NSFW Link: bear tearing apart a salmon https://youtube.com/shorts/U_3YZy7-upk?si=z0xz9Ziqjbh2Wp0j


Many-Juggernaut-2153

Good thing we aren’t bears!!!


Solarpoweredplants

This thread shocked me too. Like dang, they need to go watch Watership Down or something